Thread 21503773

Im so sick of people using the word undercarriage when talking about pizza, all because of dave portnoy vey and his shitty videos

>>21503773 (OP)
I take it these are the same homosexuals that think pizza is supposed to be crispy.

>>21503777
Checked and accurate pilled

>>21503773 (OP)
>plastic machine
plastic machine

>>21503773 (OP)
Your shirt is six sizes too small

>>21503773 (OP)
Is Dave jewish?

>>21503863
nah but his wife left him for a fitcycle instructor

>>21503779
Don't know who this guy is but he has my full support

I've still never, not once, watched any of her videos and wouldn't even know she not her videos existed were it not for /ck/. Why should I care what this Yehudi creature thinks about pizza? She should talk about what she knows: gefilte and prepuce.

>>21503863
>>21503864
Very, he was going to send two antisemitic hecklers to auschwitz lol

https://www.ajc.org/news/explained-the-antisemitic-incident-at-dave-portnoys-barstool-sports-philly-bar

>>21503863
>American celebrity with no discernible talent
Hmm I wonder

>>21503773 (OP)
what word do they use when talking about hot dogs then? do they play ping pong?

food reviewers are gay anyway so they're probably talking about their gay lovers bottom aka undercarriage

>>21503773 (OP)
Nobody is forcing you to watch garbage on tiktok you stupid fucking zoomer.

>>21503875
lmao

>>21503964
Everytime I see this, it gets more and more bizarre. It's as though this guy is an alien from planet Zhblork and is only now learning how to use his singular, human mouth for eating.
>you humans are so silly! Only one mouth?! How do you complain about the Gwarglevurs moving in, bringing crime and stinking up the neighbourhood while eating your breakfast of yavslsostsbmak and bleems? … … … You mean you have to wait between bites to talk? Like an animal?!

>>21503875
Wow. Not only is Dave Portnoy jewish, but he wants to send non-jews to Auschwitz to teach them a lesson lmaooo what a little bitch

Maybe u will enjoy this then :)

https://youtu.be/VetFOW0yHO0?si=gzs4z5YhTTfnTG4m

>>21503773 (OP)
I've literally never heard this once, nor have I ever seen that man Dave Portney before in my life. This reads like a bizarre experience a dadaist space cowboy would use to introduce himself at a bar in a Douglas Adams novel.

>>21505326
>I've literally never heard this once, nor have I ever seen that man Dave Portney before in my life
I doubt your claims. Regardless, every food review of pizza now will use the word "undercarriage" when talking about the bottom of a slice of pizza. Heres a couple examples
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lKPkhyE9Brc
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/WoFIEQI0ALU

>>21505330
Why are you watching short format videos of random jackoffs reviewing pizza? Is it a sex thing for you?

>>21505341
>Is it a sex thing for you?
Nice projection. They show up in my feed and its a vicarious thing when I cant get takeout cause im broke. I do find them annoying. The asian dude has interesting value breakdowns in his videos.

I'm not sure what's more laughable, the idea that people care about what a guy from boston has to say about pizza, or the idea that connecticut makes pizza in a distinct enough way to be considered a style

there is NO difference between "new haven" and new york style

>>21505349
>my feed
Holy gaylords

>>21505423
I hate to say it but you're wrong. New Haven is the halfway point between New York and Neapolitan. It's distinct from both but also has features of both. Philadelphia and NY pizzas, however, are identical (until you get to the bullshit stuff like pizzazz, anyway; poops-ass, more like).

Cheese pull. Make sure you top your burnt crust undercarriage off with a shit ton of cheese with additives for that cheese pull.

while he is annoying, I hate a soft soggy pizza

>>21506415
kek

>>21503875
it is funny when professional trolls and shit talkers get hyper offended being called jewish

>>21503773 (OP)
I just hope more teenage kids call him a disgusting kike as he tries to do his Jewish business.

>>21506475
The Jew is immunized against all dangers: one may call him a scoundrel, parasite, swindler, profiteer, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a Jew and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: “I’ve been found out.”

>>21506425
>he doesnt have a feed

>>21503773 (OP)
He is kinda right on the whole undercarriage thing, but I’ve had plenty of good slices that are oily and floppy and it doesn’t make a pizza bad, my biggest gripe with this dickhead is that’s he’s convinced everyone that unless a pizza is way over well done it’s just mediocre pizza, I know so many people that think pizza sucks now because it’s not burnt to a crisp

>>21506415
what a banger

>>21503779
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml9u6mWrDL0

>>21503863
how can you not see that from his face

>>21503872
It's a she?

>>21503773 (OP)
Every day I pray that this disgusting kike rat gets stabbed shot and run over while he’s filming one of these stupid fucking videos

>>21508221
>What are you laughing at?!

>>21506415
this actually rules lmao

>>21503964
Everytime i see this, I always wonder how many new STDs that man has yet to discover has he caught

>>21507996
hate dave portnoy but that pizza looks shit anon

>>21503773 (OP)
Okay

>>21503773 (OP)
>Portnoy Vey
Stealing this thank you.

Portnoy is like a secondhand but over-confident version of Zuck.

>>21503773 (OP)
Never heard of that before and now wish I hadn't

>>21503773 (OP)
What's wrong with undercarriage? It's the scientifically correct term to use.

>>21511409
It just sounds pretentious and now every pizza review contains "WOWEEE LOOK AT THAT HECKIN UNDERCARRIAGE!"

>>21507651
I use a hacked youtube client that removes shorts, ads, sponsored content, etc. you sound like you don't use your brain

>>21511889
absolutely zero people believe using the word undercarriage is supposed to impress people. it's a silly word

>>21511904
I use ad block too I just scroll shorts sometimes cause they can be funny and entertaining
>>21511905
Shut up dave. Its an unnecessarily fancy word to describe the bottom of a slice of pizza.

Pizzerias need to go back to using marinara sauce instead of plain crushed tomatoes as the sauce or I will not be visiting your establishment. I do consider myself a connoisseur and can safely say that the SAUCE, not the CHEESE, is the most important part of the pizza. Thanks you Dave Portnoy or whoever said that crushed tomatoes with NOTHING else in it is the only correct for sauce for artisanal pizza. It tastes like you and your friends had one trip to Italy and now live by the notion that Italian food can only have 3 ingredients at most. Your pizza definitely tastes like it. Mamma mia at least add some garlic to the can of crushed tomatoes. Thanks making pizza worse for all of us in the states and screw everyone who only wants crushed tomato as the sauce on your pizza.

>>21511937
>the SAUCE, not the CHEESE, is the most important part of the pizza
It's the crust, dumbass. Quibble over 2nd place on order of importance if you like but let's not pretend that the dough isn't the most important thing by fucking far. And I'm not talking about "oh gee whizzzzz drag a fork along and head that scraping" crispness, I'm talking about the importance of a dought hat has had a slow proof in cold temps to give the dough time to develop a real flavor before the yeast eats through its food.
A good crust has as much flavor as whatever toppings you throw on it because it's had time to develop. Sauce, cheese, and toppings are also important but they don't matter anything CLOSE to as much as a good dough.

>>21511945
I need a good dough recipe anon

>>21511945
Half of people (mostly women) don't even eat the crust you utter moron. The most important ingredient isn't an optional part of the pie. It's what you taste in every bite, which is the sauce.

>>21511958
What an utterly retarded way to perceive things

>>21511914
>undercarriage
>fancy
Dear me. How classless are you to think such a vulgar word as that is fancy?

>>21511950
70% hydration with a strong bread flour, cold bulk fermentation over 36 hours in the fridge. If you're going to really highlight the flavor of the dough then to a biga pre-ferment first like you would with a ciabatta.

>>21511958
The dough is not optional on a pizza, anon. If you don't enjoy the crust then you eat bad pizza or you have bad taste. Probably both. Out of my sight.

>>21503773 (OP)
I hate this faggot so goddamn much
>claims to be a pizza critic
>doesn't like any pizza that's not "MUH NEWW YORK MUH GIANT SLICE THAT I CAN FOLD"
Never been the biggest deep dish fan but faggots like that make me enjoy chicago style pizza all the harder.

I just had a few slices of pizza and saw this thread. Think I need another slice in me.

>>21511914
it's not just adblock, it skips past sponsored content inside the video as well. all short form media is good for is baby stimulation videos, because that's what every single one of them is. undercarriage is sarcastically fanciful and your outrage directed at a silly word is appropriate for someone who enjoys short form media

>>21503773 (OP)
Why do people watch this whiney Jew? What's the appeal?

>>21512601
Only people I've seen that enjoy his content are really into sports. I've noticed sports people really enjoy listening to unfunny NPCs like Dave say things into a microphone for some reason.

>>21512615
Looks like the janny is a fan and didn't like me calling him what he is

>>21511914
>I just lay on my back in a diaper and giggle at jingling keys because they can be funny and entertaining

What chain has the best undercarriage? Papa John’s, Dominos or Pizza Hut?

>>21512688
>What chain has the best undercarriage?
Why the fuck would you put wheels underneath a pizza? That makes no sense, man.

>>21512615
i don't know anything about dave or about sports, i just watch the pizza reviews because i like to see different pizzas

undercarriage

>>21508219
What else do you call a human being who insists on putting herself front and center with her low-knowledge opinions on topics she doesn't understand but "she"?

100% intelligence operation to help stir up "racial hatred" against the tribe
it's like a perfect storm of reasons to be annoyed by somebody

>>21512806
fucking lmao

>>21512337
>>21512684
>acting superior over media consumption on a fast food image board
Cringe

>>21503773 (OP)
I've never heard of it before your post OP and I'm already sick of it.

>>21503773 (OP)
Would the toppings slipping onto the floor be called a miscarriage?

>>21503863
Yes, why do you think he never gets a pepperoni pizza?

>>21503773 (OP)
I dont care about some homo talking about pizza

I didnt even know he was jewish

>>21503777
anyone who thinks theres only ONE way to make a food dish is certifiably retarded and should be removed from society

>>21516350
Yeah, he gets all pissy when you mention gaza. Typical jew.

>>21516313
>t. homo talking about pizza

>>21516350
How the hell could you not tell this guy was a Jew?

>>21503777
fpbp

>>21513192
>outed as a retarded faggot and has no real rebuttal
kys

>>21516690
>no real rebuttal
youre fat lol

>ny or ny adjacent style pizza in general

you are a cuck and eating low quality ingredients

>>21517131
post a selfie with a timestamp right now

>>21517313
Kek, why did this thread trigger you so bad. Must be a fat jew or something

>>21505326
He is the drummer of Dream Theater

>>21511904
That's really gay

>>21517338
lol trigged me? you're the one seething that you got called out for being a ham

now shut the fuck up and get on topic you giant faggot

>>21517348
>lol trigged me? you're the one seething that you got called out for being a ham

>now shut the fuck up and get on topic you giant faggot

>>21503773 (OP)
I saw him in Saratoga recently. I yelled "fuck the Jews" at him and he flipped me off.
Filthy jew

>>21517386
based

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PAN FRY ALL PIZZAZS