Thread 21545848

What does /ck/ usually do with his chopsticks?

shove them up my ass of course, duh

>>21545848 (OP)
use them (for >>21545849 of course) if a better utensil isn't offered

>>21545848 (OP)
sound

>>21545848 (OP)
>his

>>21545848 (OP)
Murder homeless people

>>21545848 (OP)
Stir my coffee.

>>21545848 (OP)
Use them to eat Asian dishes alone in my room while pretending I'm superior to everyone else

>>21545848 (OP)
once my drawer is full of them i throw them away and begin the cycle anew

>>21545848 (OP)
I put them in the top on my lips either side and pretend I'm a walrus

i use chopsticks to eat asian noodles and a fork to eat italian noodles

>>21545848 (OP)
Sharpen these into a point and you have some good skewers

urethral sounding

>>21545848 (OP)
extremely fast stirring of soups and slops without massive spillout and shredding chicken in the stainless steel cook pot

>>21545848 (OP)
I glue them together and whittle them into forks

Catch Flies

>>21546422
>google image

>>21547049
>xhamster

My go to for quick lobotomies.

>>21545848 (OP)
Sounding.

>>21545867
You don't need a utensil to stir coffee.
>pour a bit of coffee into mug
>pour in some creamer or sugar or flavor syrup or whatever into mug
>pour the rest of the coffee into mug
Wa la.

>>21547113
>gives their kid sushi (a whole container of it, at that)
>gives their kid chopsticks for a food that you're supposed to eat with your fingers
>films their child crying
white trash household

There used to be a Chinese place in my neighbourhood called Asian King. The food was simple and humble, but delicious, and the mom and pop who ran it were very kind, albeit slow, people.

I used to love their stir fried chicken hokkien nuder, so I would order it quite a lot, weekly I'd say. Every single fucking time she would ask me "you want fawrk or choppastik?" and I would always says "chopsticks please", and she would smile and put a plastic fork in the bag. It was fucking BONKERS

After about 9 months of going in there, she finally gave me choppastik. But you see, at this point I had boughtened my own choppastik so you know what I did with her stupid fucking chopsticks? Threw them straight into the trash.

Anyway, they went out of business within the next year or so. Too slow to keep up with the trendy oversaturated neighbourhood.

pic is the nuder though, loved that shit and I miss it. good memories /ck/

This 1 is sure to rile up the dudeweedbro haters but I save chopsticks to use for cleaning my bong. You can bend them in slightly different shapes to reach those nooks and crannies and the wood doesn’t scratch the glass. Unfortunately the Chinese places by me don’t hand out free chopsticks anymore

>>21548375
You're doing god's work anon
>Unfortunately the Chinese places by me don’t hand out free chopsticks anymore
the scam somehow finds a way to be even scammier. boycott all that shit immediately

>>21545848 (OP)
I use them to evenly distribute sauerkraut on pizza.

>>21548397
>sauerkraut on pizza

>>21547718
Shut the fuck up

>>21548358
More like chopsticks -1

i have a technique. first chopstick gets taken up like a pencil. second chopstick gets taken up like a pencil after i've adjusted it, after writing for some time. then clack clack clack

>>21545848 (OP)
Any noodles dish that isn't Italian, and Chinese carry out

It's really fun to stir and mix things with chopsticks too when cooking on the stove top

>>21548494
Noodles are Italian?

>>21548495
Yeah like spaghetti or penne with tomato or alfredo sauce
Maybe a kielbasa in it

>>21545854
I never understood this. How does shoving something down your pee hole not just hurt like a motherfucker? What do you get out of it?

>>21548504
penne are fun to eat with chopsticks though

>>21548628
I'll try this next time

>>21545848 (OP)
urethral sounding

>>21548507
He meant chopping sticks drunming, anon

>>21545848 (OP)
I bought a pair of plastic chopsticks that I use at home when I eat ramen. They have a little design of Raijin I think at the end, it's neat.

>>21545848 (OP)
I use them as chopsticks, I have a neat little elephant rest for them too.
I feel the elephant matches the material they are made of well because they are ivory.

>>21545848 (OP)
jam them into my highspeed blender to move the peanut butter around and then getting caught into the blender and leaving me with a peanut butter filled with splinters of wood.

>>21548054
kids grow extremely fast. parents like to document moments like this to look back on those days.

>>21548842
>I am about to be surpassed by by own offspring
>good thing I humiliated them as children and recorded it to humiliate them with again as adults
>precious memories haha

>>21548915
Everyone is built different. What may offend you may not offend someone else. What you may deem traumatizing, others may not. That doesn't make you any better or worse than anyone else.

>>21548507
It actually feels amazing. Get something smooth and try it out for yourself.

I throw them in the garbage and then pull out the fork I brought from home.

>>21545848 (OP)
>What does /ck/ usually do with his chopsticks?

Lately I don't get Chinese takeout very often, but when I do it's from the same few trusted restaurants, and it's always the same old ladies working there and we're on pretty good terms, so every time I tell her to not bother including the disposable chopsticks, since I have a million chopsticks at home, so this way the restaurant can save a few cents by not including that stuff in my order. Also here's an interesting tidbit that I bet you guys didn't know: by default every single time I get Chinese food, and I've been to several states around the US, fortune cookies are not included in my meal hilariously enough: it's a type of reverse racism lol. This is because the Chinese staff know that Chinese people think furtune cookies taste gross, so they don't even bother including it in our meals; they can save some money by not giving them to us and just leaving them for white people because you guys are the only ones who eat that shit. Instead, the places that aren't run by cheapskates will offer us free, employees only off-menu fresh fruit/other Chinese deserts like sticky rice cakes if it's during new years.

>t. Chang

i use them for prostate massage

>>21545848 (OP)
I use chopsticks whenever I don't want to do dishes which is pretty much always. I've become a master of eating with chopsticks, I wager I could outmaneuver a native chink with my chopstick skills.
Plus you can buy a 1000 pairs of chopsticks for $50.