>>149914809
I try to laugh at things that hurt me if they're silly, that way they hurt me less, but I would lie if I said I don't suffer for not having a QT goth GF to love and care for, which was a stupid idea when I was 18, and stupider at 25, and even more stupid at 30, and I'm about to be 31. With each passing year it's stupider as I grow older, uglier, not fatter but I seem to be stuck beaing as fat as I'll always be, not blacker either but being black was already a huge obstacle because a cute gothy gal would look bad with a chubby nigga by her side even if he had style. Style would help though, but of course I never had the confidence to dress for the part, not even when it would have made sense in terms of age. So, it's like being bitter about not having won the lottery after not even having bought a ticket.
And the key to end this suffering is just to stop wishing for it. One step and that's it, right?
Fuck, sounds so easy...
With each passing year this idea is stupider, it was impossible to begin with, so why do I do this to myself?
And don't let me get started on redheads.
Chubby and/or dorky dark lads don't magically become muscular and handsome at 13, and then go out with their childhood friend who happened to be a cute redhead. I was smart enough to know that was a cruel joke, but not smart enough to not let cartoons and media put that idea into my mind, and so I embraced it as a fantasy.
Man, I need real problems...
Honestly, I feel so incredibly stupid.