Thread 214541099

>And thou shalt not remarry Muhammad's wives after him because...
>Look just don't do it OK?

>And you are limited to 4 wives! FOUR!
>Excep my special boy here: "Pedo Mo! He can fuck anything he wants! Even the Al Zutt"

>>214541189
why is he not circumcised?

Bara bada bastu

>>214541229
God created humanity in his image. We born with a foreskin. Jews remove it for the lulz.

>>214541189
So is it real that if I convert I can just buy four teenage madina wives for pennies and nobody will object?

>...and this guy will be five foot four with a micropenis, and this guy will be six foot two with a macropenis, and he will bully the first guy in school and take his lunch money even though he won't need it since he will be born to a rich family...
> Good heavens, world building is so exciting! I really outdid myself this time! Time for a sunday nap! (I'm all benevolent btw)

>>214541371
Only Christians have that retarded problem with benevolence. Neither Jews nor Muslims really have it.

>>214541099 (OP)
Oh that's not all
>O Prophet! We have made lawful for you your wives to whom you have paid their ˹full˺ dowries as well as those ˹bondwomen˺ in your possession, whom Allah has granted you. And ˹you are allowed to marry˺ the daughters of your paternal uncles and aunts, and the daughters of your maternal uncles and aunts, who have emigrated like you. Also ˹allowed for marriage is˺ a believing woman who offers herself to the Prophet ˹without dowry˺ if he is interested in marrying her—˹this is˺ exclusively for you, not for the rest of the believers. We know well what ˹rulings˺ We have ordained for the believers in relation to their wives and those ˹bondwomen˺ in their possession. As such, there would be no blame on you. And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

>Also ˹allowed for marriage is˺ a believing woman who offers herself to the Prophet ˹without dowry˺ if he is interested in marrying her—˹this is˺ exclusively for you, not for the rest of the believers.

Mo has the exclusive right to do marry without a dowry (adultery) with as many women as he wants.

>Takhfah ibn Qays reported: While I was lying on my belly in the mosque, a man shook me with his foot, saying, “Verily, Allah hates this posture.” I looked up and it was the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him.
wtf was his problem?

>>214541099 (OP)
Oh that's not all
>O Prophet! We have made lawful for you your wives to whom you have paid their ˹full˺ dowries as well as those ˹bondwomen˺ in your possession, whom Allah has granted you. And ˹you are allowed to marry˺ the daughters of your paternal uncles and aunts, and the daughters of your maternal uncles and aunts, who have emigrated like you. Also ˹allowed for marriage is˺ a believing woman who offers herself to the Prophet ˹without dowry˺ if he is interested in marrying her—˹this is˺ exclusively for you, not for the rest of the believers. We know well what ˹rulings˺ We have ordained for the believers in relation to their wives and those ˹bondwomen˺ in their possession. As such, there would be no blame on you. And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

>Also ˹allowed for marriage is˺ a believing woman who offers herself to the Prophet ˹without dowry˺ if he is interested in marrying her—˹this is˺ exclusively for you, not for the rest of the believers.

Mo has the exclusive right to do zina, or without a dowry (adultery), with as many women as he wants.

>>214541464
>YOU WILL NOT LIE ON YOUR BELLY I HATE IT REEEEEE MUHAMMED GO DOWN THERE AND TELL THAT PERSON THAT I HATE IT

>>214541371
>...and the second guy can just "repent" in his 60's and go to heaven meanwhile the first guy will go to hell eternally for killing himself because the second guy bullied him

>>214541540
>Finding the right religions is a matter of faith and heart thats why 95 percent of people just take their countries/cultures/families religion

>>214541572
>I MADE MULTIPLE VERSIONS OF CHRISTIANITY, INCLUDING JUDAISM, AND YOU PICKED THE WRONG ONE?! THAT'S AN ETERNAL SUFFERING MISTER!

>>214541572
he like laying on the right side of your body for some reason

>Dude, stop making small talk with Muhammad
>Seriously stop, that shit is annoying as fuck

>>214541619
you have to lie with your penis facing meckka and your anus facing your gay lovers pecka and it has to be on the right side so your lover can give you a handy with his right and dominant arm so it's not gay (using your left hand is haram)

>>214541619
Laying on your left side squish your heart

>>214541609
>Billybob Joe, with your IQ of 95 that i gave you you did not come to the right conclusion about questions of faith that doctors of theology still argue about today and chose catholicism as your religion. You still lived your life according to my other laws and were a nice person however since i am all just i have to sentence you to an eternity of suffering of the highest order

>>214541681
I think it's the side effect of Muhammad being historically real and people write everything he's saying

people will eventually ask dumb shit like
>O Prophet, should I enter toilet with right foot or left foot
he'll just answer
>enter good thing with right, bad thing with left
and people treat it like gospel

>>214541796
Ahem, how can there even be muslim chinks in this world?

these are my #3rd favorite threads on int

>>214541995
I like frogposter and gay threads more so i completely agree

>>214542104
for me number 1 is when some third worlders go apeshit on one another
like the legendary japan vs korea thread

and number 2 is any german humor meme thread

>>214542261
/int/ is truely the highest culture board

>>214542342
my least favorite are country generals
its just so incel in those threads

>>214542261
>>third worlders
>>japan vs korea
>think it's a joke
>check average wages
>norway's is twice higher
Holy shit

>>214541464
Sleeping on your stomach is terrible for your back so ig he was just watching out for his niggas

>>214542368
I like /deutsch/ its my daily soap opera and frogposting central

>>214542394
well Vladibart, if you defect to Ukraine you can have some of that action too (through war and relief funds)

>>214542425
no its very incel
its like when i go to visit germany
everything feels very oppressed and incely
even the airports

>>214542419
>invents sleeping paralysis which is way more common if you sleep on your back
What did god mean by this?

>>214541099 (OP)
Isn't there a verse that says Muhammad should get his favorite cut of lamb at every party?

>>214542531
Yeah and yet the people mostly arent incels. I however am an incel which makes me a double incel

>>214541371
Gem
I LOVE HIS MYSTERIOUS WAYS SO MUCH

>>214542714
I am still waiting for some soyteen to illustrate the Al-Zutt story

>>214542773
can i get a QRD

>>214542714
What kind of schizo wrote this

>>214542838
>>214542773
qrd?

>>214543436
i looked it up and apparently it's a story how some dark-skinned people harrassed Muhammad and some other people and basically molested him. The story even mentions their semen in his clothes.

>>214542838
>>214543436
>Mohammed and his friend (also the narrator of this tale) go out at night in the desert
>Mohammed tells the narrator to never open his eyes and wanders off in the distance
>Mohammed meets with a group of dark-skinned tribesfolk named the Al-Zutt, already mentioned in other scripts for their rather large penises.
>mohamed's friend peeks and sees the prophet being mounted by the group of men
>The men leave and Mohamed comes back aching and limping and asks his friend to keep the events of that night a secret (lol)

>Thought you could talk shit about that pigeon, huh? Well surprise, that pigeon was actually me! Straight to hell with you.
>No it's too late to apologize, i aint gonna listen

>>214542838
>A well-known story involving the Zutt is found in Islamic tradition, specifically in the Hadith literature. According to a narration in Musnad Ahmad (Hadith 3788), the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) encountered a group of men described as being dark-skinned, tall, and wearing no clothes, exposing their large penises. The narration describes the Prophet being "mounted" (ركب) by these figures, a term that has been the subject of scholarly debate and interpretation. Another Hadith, found in Sahih al-Bukhari, describes the Prophet seeing Moses during the Night Journey (Isra wal-Miraj) and noting that Moses had a brown complexion, straight hair, and was tall, resembling the people of Al-Zutt. This description has led to the identification of the Zutt as a distinct ethnic group, possibly with a physical appearance similar to that of South Asians.

>>214541189
al zutt?

>>214542425
I like going there and pretending to be a migrant and then replying to myself telling myself to kill myself

>>214541885
nigga, you're almost converted to islam if not for vodka

>>214541293
>madina
>for pennies
Saudi families are mostly wealthy so you most likely won't find ones that agree.
but yes, in theory, you can if you convert to Islam.

>>214545631
I do the same, then someone else steps in and provokes a reaction from a third anon and it explodes into a shit-flinging battle, at which point I start to mass-reply random posts and call them samefaggots, and there's always someone who posts screenshots

>>214541433
not even the Greek had a problem with it once they justified it with free will and that the material world is not the end.

>>214546433
kek based

It’s all European flags mocking God of course. Tell me again why I’m supposed to feel bad that these people and their societies are heading towards collapse?

>>214546376
I didn't mean Saudis obviously, something like Iraqi or Algerian whatever. Not the lowest tier of pakis and indios either but something in the middle, you get it.
>in theory
What about the practice? I think about converting at around 40, when I retire. I doubt I'll he able to work my job as a Muslim.

Earlier I thought if I convert to a religion, it'll be Judaism, but now I've actually delved a bit and holy shit, it's meme and pathetic and cringe in reality. Almost like a caricature.
Islam in the meanwhile has a chance to preserve itself. There were reasons Guenon and king Charles chose it instead of Judaism or Christianity.

>>214543623
>>214544041
>>214545087
>>214545251
These are Jatts, the most likely tribe described by Al-Zatt in the Islamic tradition

>>214541531
>black cocks will be big
>...will be small and tiny, and so will Aryan and Asian pensies

Good morning Saar. Jai Hind!

>>214546966
sub-human tranny

>>214547017
Shouldn't you be delivering fries, Dikshit?

>>214546801
in theory because you specifically said madina.
you should be able to grab 4 cute Syrian refugees if you can actually support 4 wives.
the cost of living here is too high so one can barely even afford one wife.
only the extremely wealthy married 4 and that was 2-3 generations ago in the 1800s.
there are some cases of a man having 2 wives nowadays but you rarely hear about them.

>>214546916
you indian do looks better & white passing when you get older

>>214547017
The Saar's mind cannot conceive of any insult other than the supposed degeneracy of the West, but I'm not even from the West. Owari da

>>214547115
>refugees
I assume I'll go to a low-CoL Muslim country afterwards, obviously not a Gulf one.
>>214547115
>but you rarely hear about them
You mean UAE specifically or the Arab world in general? IIRC I've already asked that question long time ago and people told me having more than one wife is practically unfeasible nowadays.

>>214546767
they mock pretty specific and obscure stuff about the prophet instead of mocking the teachings of the religion.
they're either (ex)muslim refugees in europe, (ex)muslims using VPNs, some very dedicated autists or being funded to do it.

>>214547213
>low-CoL Muslim country
idk if there is such a country. people say Egypt is cheap but idk if you can stomach the heat and the Cairo pictures anons post mame me shudder.
Lebanon and Syria are also cheap but are warzones.
is Russia expensive? i bet they'd like going back to Russia with you.
>You mean UAE specifically or the Arab world in general?
i meant my cuntry. jordan. idk how things stand in other countries.

>>214547430
>jordan
Kek sorry anon, I'm sleepy. I thought you have low prices with okayish salaries though.

>>214547220
>Ex-Muslims
Despite what they think of Islam I don't really hate them it's just when they insult and mock Muslims and I say that as a Muslim.

>>214547517
>I thought you have low prices with okayish salaries though.
nah. salaries are shit and stuff are expensive. like one Indian anon put it
>Amman [the capital] is shit like Mumbai but with London prices
>>214547547
i find these threads and all the hadiths memes stuff funny as hell despite not agreeing with them.
i have the whole collection saved.

>>214547923
>The Last Hour will not come until the Muslims fight against the Jews
Muslims are doing that though so could that mean...?

>>214548041
i haven't heard reports of rocks and trees speaking so not yet.

>>214548395
I don't think it's literal though

>>214548395
They only speak to true warriors of Allah you fucking kaffir

>>214548574
then time will tell
>>214548662
the true warriors of Allah should report that this is happening to push people to repent.

>>214547923
Redpill me on the Al-Gharqad tree

>>214547220
>they mock pretty specific and obscure stuff about the prophet instead of mocking the teachings of the religion.

I feel Muslims should not take Muhammad to a such a high regard because it just proves their point when they say Muslims worship Muhammad

>>214542394
Korea's PPP is much higher than their gdp indicates, they're the most technologically advanced country on the planet and, IIRC, the actual material wealth of the average Korean is higher than the average American and other westerners. The numbers are lies

>>214542570
Also get 1/5 of the war booty

>>214549055
that hadith is the redpill.
learn its shape and refuse to have it planted around you.
it's called Nitraria Retusa or Salt Tree.
https://www.inaturalist.org/taxa/199193-Nitraria-retusa
>>214549169
we got the Quran which is the literal word of God from the prophet.
if the prophet was a liar, Islam is a lie.
the teachings of Islam are not enclosed in the Quran alone. the prophet would tell the people what to do. and that's the hadith.
say for example how to pray. there is no step by step guide to prayer in the Quran.

>>214549809
I get that Muhammed did spread Islam to locals but at the same time it gets to a point where you give your respects for someone to where you are worshiping someone.

>>214549937
i don't get it. which part is worshipping him?
God ordered people to venerate the prophets.
>Indeed, Allah showers His blessings upon the Prophet, and His angels pray for him. O believers! Invoke Allah’s blessings upon him, and salute him with worthy greetings of peace.
33:56.
https://quran.com/al-ahzab/56

>>214550391
>worshipping

I mean worship in a metaphorical sense.
But in literal sense I see people meatride Muhammad a lot.

Tbh Muhammad is hated by a lot of people which makes people have debates like if he killed apostates and if he consummated a 9 year old so I feel Muslims should not hold him to high regard because like I said, he is still human.

>>214550917
>if he killed apostates
this is a religious issue.
>and if he consummated a 9 year old
this is an issue related to him personally so it is relevant to the discussion.
westerners believe the age as absolute. there is no way in hell a 9 year old to be pubescent.
but if she was pubescent, it ceases to be pedophilia.
since she didn't die due to bleeding, we can surmise she wasn't prepubescent.
there were many young girls who were married off young in the middle ages.
i don't see this as a valid criticism of his character.

>>214551418
>i don't see this as a valid criticism of his character

Having sex with a 9 year old would be considered pedophila in many place, regardless if the person is pubescent and I see that is the main argument why people hate Islam.

>>214546916
Bullshit. Zutt were BBC KARA BOĞA giganiggas

>>214543141
A muslim

>>214551884
if you're going by law,
>anyone under 18 is a child
>sex with anyone under 18 is therefore pedophilia
but the actual definition of pedophilia is attraction to (and sex with i guess) prepubescent kids.
pedophilia is bad because it hurts the child because children aren't ready to have things inserted into them.

>>214541796
This isn’t even true, there were no toilets back. I guess aside from Muhammad’s bedroom seeing how he used to piss in a bucket and leave it in his bedroom, causing one of the women in his house (not sure if wife or slave or daughter) to drink it by accident one time thinking it was water.

>>214552145
>>214552412
UAE syrian is that you or are you some random pajeet

>>214552344
Not a muslim, but pedophilia is bad because children can't consent. The idea of trusting a man who did that to a 9 year old girl at all is inherently disgusting to me, and the idea that such a man would be trusted to reveal the word of god is honestly surprisingly logical, the lord is capricious and he mocks us, such is his will.

>>214552556
>because children can't consent
funnily enough, i wrote an answer to the consent argument but deleted it because i didn't believe one would ignore the actual physical consequences of prepubescents sex and chase an imaginary and fuzzy "consent" principle.
in Islam, each woman has a male guardian that must assess the groom and sign the marriage contract.
and there is no sex outside of marriage.
this is how consent is dealt with in Islam.

>>214552936
Interesting

>>214552936
>in Islam, each woman has a male guardian that must assess the groom and sign the marriage contract and there is no sex outside of marriage.
this is how consent is dealt with in Islam.

But a 9 year old does not have the mental capacity for sex regardless if the person is prepubescent

>>214553098
women change their minds and call sex rape later.
western consent is a shitty concept.

>>214553306
What's the age of consent in Jordan

>>214553306
how would you feel in their place? having no agency in your own life?
and this is kind of unrelated but you seem to know the most, even if one can accept that god did tell muhammad that and it was his truth at the time, why would it not change? The world changed. If a question changes the answer changes, and islam causes as much suffering and chaos as christianity. I think god changes his mind about things a lot. Even in the myths, he was moved by Abrahams agony over his son that he changed his mind.

can a muslim explain this?

>>214553583
random fuck? 18
marriage? with some special papers done, 14. i think 16 can be passed without special papers.
>>214553634
i wouldn't fuck someone willingly then call it rape.
you don't put yourself in the shoes of women because women are built different.
but women do get a say in their marriage in Islam. it's just that her guardian also gets a say.
what is changed exactly?
puberty = child doesn't get hurt by sex anymore = can fuck and get married.
you don't want to get married? don't.
>Even in the myths, he was moved by Abrahams agony over his son that he changed his mind.
that's because it's a myth. God might have wanted to test Abraham.
myths are created by humans so they insert their wants and nature in them.

>>214553661
ummmm it uhhhh it was a mistranslation, stupid kaffir
read it in the original arabic

>>214554126
if your life was on the line you might. like even the story with muhammad and the other tribe the other people posted earlier shows that. I don't think women are that different mentally, surely a little but not that much. No one wants to be hurt, in ancient times captured people would "willingly" go to the temples and be sacrificed to different gods all over the world but that's just because of the natural instinct to survive at all costs no matter the degradation you suffer.
and the puberty = sex thing isn't really true. There are thousands of cases of men raping even babies and the children not dying, and sex at any age can be fatal if things get torn, more common in anal sex though. I just think women should be allowed to exit a relationship anytime if she wants.
>that's because it's a myth
myths are meant to show the character of gods. Like Zeus didn't literally exist and cut his siblings out of his fathers belly, it's to show his position as usurper of the throne of heaven.

>>214541189
>>214542773
>>214542838
>>214543436
>>214544041
>>214545087
>>214546916
>Al-Zutt

As a Muslim I don't hate Ex-Muslims because they left Islam

>>214554728
>if your life was on the line you might. like even the story with muhammad and the other tribe the other people posted earlier shows that.
you've lost me. i don't even know what you're talking about.
>There are thousands of cases of men raping even babies and the children not dying,
but they do get hurt
>and sex at any age can be fatal if things get torn
they have to try very hard to do it
>I just think women should be allowed to exit a relationship anytime if she wants
she can file for a divorce. if the judge sees a legit reason, he allows it. same as what happens when a man files for a divorce.
i believe women or men should not be able to leave marriages too freely.
nor should marriages be taken lightly.

>>214547220
We just simply don't like that he stole our boi, Jebus. Make up your own lore.

>>214555284
but we stole the old testament

>>214541578
Brvtal

>>214555180
>you've lost me. i don't even know what you're talking about.
I'm saying that men will also sexually submit to other men if its to protect themselves, which can be seen in things like the Al-Zutt story (if its real) or how mens prisons are. I don't think that counts as consent, I think it's rape.

>>214554994
Erm Muhammad fans? Emergency meeting in the 'cord right now

>>214554994
chatgpt told me the zutt are djinn

>>214555306
um we are the new Israel and Hebrews just ripped off Ba'al.

>>214555284
don't you guys believe Jesus was sent for all humans?
you're not secretly jew, are you?
>>214555350
that story is from Musnad Ahmad. anons' other stories are extremely authentic Bukhari or Muslim.
i'm disappointed in anons for going after non-authentic stuff.
there is at least one famous authentic "weird" hadith that deserves a meme.
so you're saying women who change their minds change it because they felt threatened at the time? all of them?

>>214555458
In apologetics you always take the most vile, most violent, most evil and most hateful interpretation of their holy text.

>>214555570
Yes we believe that God incarnated in human flesh to bring salvation to all humanity. Your pedophile prophet denied the crucifition, death, resurrection and the divinity of our Lord and Saviour.

>>214554994
Unironically how do muslims react to this story and all the other wacky and out of character stories in the Quran and Hadiths?

>>214555656
>resurrection
not really.
we believe he will return at the end of times. the rest, sure.

>>214555570
As a Muslim do you think Hadith are reliable?

>>214555570
>that story is from Musnad Ahmad. anons' other stories are extremely authentic Bukhari or Muslim.
I apologize, everyone was treating them all like they were legitimate. Though, I think it's just natural for most people to submit if they have to.
>so you're saying women who change their minds change it because they felt threatened at the time? all of them?
No, but some of them. Especially when if they speak out, there's a chance that they'll just end up trapped in the relationship under the power of a man whose stronger than her and feels humiliated, and regardless of the virtues of any religion most men care more about their physical pleasure than their souls. So a woman being allowed to leave if she wants for any reason makes sense to me, because it gives her power in the relationship she would lack otherwise in good relationships, and allow them to leave in bad ones.

>>214554994
> The Jat people (Hindi: [dʒaːʈ], Punjabi: [dʒəʈː]), also spelt Jaat and Jatt,[2] are a traditionally agricultural community in Northern India and Pakistan.
The Jeets

>>214555739
everyone (Sunni. idk what Shias believe) agrees that Bukhari and Muslim (yes someone's name was Muslim) hadiths are the most authentic because they were the most strict with their conditions of writing down a hadith in their books. one was stricter than the other i forgot which is which.
then comes the "modern" age with theologists even as recent as the 1900s not contenting themselves with Bukhari and Muslim being the most authentic and just working on them and they start throwing their stamp of approval on hadiths of lower authenticity books and declaring them as sahih (authentic/true) like this one >>214555886, the zutt one and kissing the penis of Al Hasan one.
>>214555803
don't apologize.
i believe women who were genuinely threatened should get their justice.
but on the other hand, women shouldn't be put in positions to be threatened in the first place because they should have a guardian caring for them.

>>214556237
Doesn't Islam says not to divide into sects?

I respect people's rights to be what religion they want but I hear that Islam doesn't allow people to divide into sects

>>214556798
idk but i believe that's a good idea.
the sunni shia divide is mainly about who should have became a caliph after the prophet. we shouldn't have issues anymore but some shia sects believe in bizarre stuff if folk tales and tiktok supercuts are to be blieved.
i've never personally looked into what shias believe in beyond who should rule after the prophet.
something not only i don't give a shit about, but i believe they were correct as well.
there are some minor issues of some sects of them cursing the prophet's companions and some even calling Aisha an adultress but you can't really call someone who says the shahada an infidel.

>>214541229
circumcision is for slaves o algo and god is a slave to no one

>Umm everything unflattering is fake actually
Brilliant defence

>>214559401
the camels and black baby colors is Bukhari so it's authentic.
there is at least one more authentic hadith that can be memed and i bet there is more. no need to into inauthentic stuff so keep the memes high quality.

imagine unironically believing in this nonsense lmao.

>>214560356
Do you ever question Islam

I was thinking about converting to Islam but I saw some stuff about Islam that has me thinking about if it is fine or if it is bad.

>>214561249
i question -sharia- laws established by theologians but then look at their reasoning and discover it's shaky and/or bullshit so into the trash it goes.
it's fucking tiring.
i can't really blame those who get fed up and convert or straight up become athiests.
texts having many interpretations and each clique of theologians not even entertaining other interpretations is extremely shitty as well.

>>214541371
>I will create humans and make them social creatures
>and now, I will create autism

>>214562310
Yeah like I said on >>214555103 I don't hate Ex-Muslims because they left Islam it's only when they mock Muslims and the faith. Although I did meet some chill Ex-Muslims. I do get a lot of Ex-Muslims online were never really Muslim in the first place but the real Ex-Muslims can either be chill or just disrespectful.

>>214564065
uh you are supposed to suffer from being born into le social species for your whole life and just maybe create something that the cattle will worship
for the other 99.9 percent of autists? they will loathe you
tough luck lmao

>>214541099 (OP)
10 years at least?

These are funny as hell to me.
Am I going to hell for laughing at these?

>>214545631
>>214546433
You won at life.

>>214566733
If it was real probably. But that probability is extremely small.

>>214554994
I can't find a good translation of this

>>214552465
>random pajeet
an average jeet wouldn't say this