>Who are you quoting?

>>49650018 (OP)
mating press

>>49650018 (OP)
What's the point of this thread? I can't tell if this is supposed to be a Remi thread or just another one of those dreadful /v/ threads.

>>49650111
Remilia is quoting a post that's going to be made. It's a fate manipulation joke.

>>49650171
Sorry, but I think your joke might be too elaborate for the average /jp/ user.

Consensual baby making sex with Remilia.

>>49650256
how many babies?

>>49650294
As many as possible, she will be giving birth every year until my human life expires. I will leave an entire army of half-human, half-vampire children to protect their beautiful mother.

>>49650018 (OP)
You're always quoting someone somewhere because there is no such thing as an original thought.

>>49650294
Enough to fill the moon and drive out those disgusting long-eared rodents! Female bats can only have one baby per year so it will take us a while.

>>49650323
quotebroken

>>49650323
The infinite productivity of language means that it's very easy to have original thoughts, they are simply unconventional.
Do you think anybody thought before about unclogging shell-painted bridges after witnessing unwinding of bare-root oaks? I think we know the answer.
But sometimes a classic, many times repeated thought is worth quoting. So without further ado,
>>49650018 (OP)
Who are you quoting?

>>49650018 (OP)
Batposting thread! I love my wife Remilia!!

>>49650416
she has a big heart

>>49650422
Very kissable butt!

>>49650422
For me!

>>49650294
Two; twins. The perfect number to have dramatic battles.
Remi's into that, don't ask me why...

>>49650422
the things I would do to her butt...

>>49650432
I bet she'd even fake her own death to add a defining element of tragedy to her two kids' backgrounds.
And before that, she'll gift a sword to the youngest and a katana to the oldest.

>>49650171
Isn't that clairvoyance? Remilia can't see into the future. She say it herself.

>>49650018 (OP)
Johnny Hearn

>>49650455
Remi is not for anal, she is for vaginal nakadashi

>>49650537
Puffy!

>>49650547
I don't think a grown man could even fit his thumb into that condom.

>>49650566
Maybe she likes them young?

>>49650573
or maybe she likes them small like her?

>>49650573
That would have to be really young.

>>49650493
Every couple of years, without warning or reason, Remi would get a new idea for a dramatic scenario for her twins to get into. One time, she kidnapped a girl they both had a crush on; another time she declared to the land that she would kill everyone unless her flesh and blood stopped her; a couple of times she hid some arbitrary macguffin in some far away place; once, she locked them in the mansion and would only let them leave if they could get pass the randomly generated rooms of house and beat all its inhabitants, with items and all! Every time she would get everyone involved and every time Meiling would insist in giving them a training montage.
Thus is the fate of being in Remi's family...

>>49650573
>>49650597
Nonsense. She likes them huge, thick, and no smaller than 21 cm.

>>49650635
Her standards must've been skewed by Flan.

>>49650500
To be fair, we don't really know how her power works yet. I'm pretty sure it's not passive as Akyuu suggested, since Remilia makes such a big deal about "choosing" to create her own future. I think she can wish for certain events to happen the way she wants, which makes it seem like she can see the future, like a meteorite falling. But she also seems capable of knowing which "choices" are bad for her, so it's still like seeing the future.
It's just fucking weird, I blame ZUN's alcoholism.
Apparently she can also affect the luck or misfortune of others, kind of like Shion.

/v/hu won!

>>49650635
>>49650646
>>49650667
go away samefag /v/trash, I know where you are trying to get this conversation and I won't entertaining your crap.

>>49650646
I don't think the basement dweller even knows what a dick is. The only humans she knows are Sakuya, Reimu, and Marisa. Meanwhile Remi has been hunting and biting poor innocent oji-sans for over 500 years.

>>49650696
how many oji-sans has she sucked so far?

>>49650682
no u

>>49650757
over 9000!1!1!1 lol XD

>>49650757
Can you remember how many slices of bread you have eaten until now?

>>49650767
>>49650772
Bad kids get punished. Behave or go play somewhere else.

>>49650757
Can you remember how many litres of semen you have swallowed until now?

>>49650798
remi isn't a succubus, anon. she's just a maneater who might have eaten hundreds of roasted penises by now

>>49650798
13, I prefer piss.

>>49650294
I'd be happy just having a cute daughter. I don't want to give Sakuya too much work, and I don't think it would be a good idea for Gensokyo to have more vampires running around. Reimu would get mad.

>>49650757
Since Remilia's always shown sipping red tea (which we know is actually blood) it's fair to assume she drinks blood every day, even if she doesn't take much. If we keep that in mind and figure she hasn't bitten the same person twice, we can do some quick math:
She's 500 years old, 500 years * 365 days/year = 182,500 days.
That number would be how many people she's bitten. But then there's Sakuya, who's been preparing her food for who knows how long. If we go with the idea that Sakuya is Jack the Ripper then she's been with Remilia for a whole century:
100 years * 365 days/year = 36,500 days.
Take that away from the total, and you get:
182,500 - 36,500 = 146,000. So, 146,000 people is more or less the amount of people Remilia has raped by herself over the years.

>>49650925
does this look like the face of a rapist to you?

>>49650954
>retarded meme flesh fang
Not my Ojou-sama

>>49650018 (OP)
Your prettier and hotter sister.

>>49651402
Nah, your taste might be broken. You must be blind to prefer the inferior vamp who will 100% kill you.

>>49651707
Some people are just into unmarriageable mentally challenged girls

>>49651766
I don't know who is more suicidal: the self-destructive vamp or her fans.

big vampire

>>49650925
lady patchouli, pls go back to the library

>>49650814
But, does she eat menstruation?

>>49653528
no one would, that shit is nasty

>>49653528
Depends on how fresh it is. Menstrual blood is mostly dead blood, so I doubt many vampires would be into it.

>>49653528
>>49653614
How flexible do you think she is?

>>49653528
Yes, she does. I'd post a page of that yuri doujin where she licks Reimu's menstrual juices and proceeds to eat her out, but I don't have it anymore

>>49653647
She's a master twister player

>>49653647
Have you ever played IaMP? Remilia is top tier in both hand-to-hand combat and speed so naturally she has to be super flexible.

>>49653647
she's so flexible, she can lick both her clit and my dick while i'm fucking her

>>49650225
>>49650407
I'm not really into glasses, but nerdy Ozeu-sama does things to my dick

>>49650294
0; I don't want children cause I believe I would be a terrible father.
My priority is to spend all my time and energy loving my wife.

>>49653931
I'd gladly abandon my social life and just kiss Remi's big loli arse all day

>>49653937
What if Remi wishes to have babies? Would you deny her that desire?

>>49653992
I don't know if she would want children. She seems like the type of girl who prefers being pampered rather than pampering others.

>>49654013
Yeah, but she's also very welcoming to new people. She gave hundreds of fairies a place to stay and allowed the poor hobgoblins to work in the mansion when nobody else wanted them for being ugly. She also gave Sakuya a new purpose and a new name, and even befriended a Chinese hobo who appeared one day at her gate. She even has pets. She's the polar opposite of Flan, someone who doesn't want to be alone and enjoys throwing parties. I'm sure she would love to have as many babies as possible and bring in a new age of darkness!

I wonder if Remilia is into father-daughter roleplay

>>49654189
100% yes. I have never met a spoiled girl who isn't into daddies.
I bet she likes it rough too, given how much she enjoys fighting.

>>49654189
need doujins NOW

>>49650652
that just sound like western tarot and Horoscope, something similar to yukari and her Onmyōdō.

>>49654351
No, Remi's fate manipulation is more than that. For example, she foresaw a meteorite heading straight for the SDM and told Flandre to destroy it, but what's incredible is that one of the fragments impossibly landed right on the Hakurei Shrine, and even more amazingly, it had "shrine gate" engraved on it. Remi truly has control over fate.

>>49654442
that just implies it was a manufactured event, specially around a yellow press Tengu, it had written runes, it fit right with remilia and her craving for attention whoring and Reputation.

>>49654476
Well, yeah, Remilia using her fate manipulation to make a meteorite fall and then be destroyed, with one of those pieces landing in Reimu's backyard which has "shrine gate" engraved on it, that's definitely a manufactured event. Still, it proves her power is real, and ZUN never said otherwise.

Remi~nya

>>49654513
if Fate can be manipulated, then is not Fate. that's why In universe everyone is highly sceptic and even Flan, consider the magical things they are accustomed for.

>>49654540
I want Patchy to use her magic to turn Remi into a batcat.
>>49654552
>that's why In universe everyone is highly sceptic and even Flan
>everyone
Only Flandre, and to be fair I wouldn't listen to the lil girl who talks highly about being happy living in the basement when she broke her own wings in a fit of rage and complained of being lonely to Marisa in EoSD. I see it more as a little kid being angry at her big sis and calling her a liar.
>if Fate can be manipulated, then is not Fate
There's a reason ZUN keeps re-explaining Sakuya's time powers. He didn't put much thought into it. It doesn't matter if it makes sense or not, it just is.

>>49654602
A cat is fine too

>>49653937
That's the beauty of marrying into money. You don't have to raise the kid yourself because the help, in this case Sakuya, will do it for you.

>>49654602
>I wouldn't listen to the lil girl who talks highly about being happy living in the basement
its still the most closer person to her sister and the only who knows it more.
>It doesn't matter if it makes sense or not, it just is.
No, its not, because this is part of the Logistic of the setting, also Reisen can get away with being Logical in her analyses so not even in universe characters suspend their minds.

>>49654639
That's bad for the kid. They need to have a good, close relationship with their parents.

>>49654651
Blame ZUN; he's the one who keeps putting "fate manipulation" in Remi's profiles, so it's canon whether you like it or not my dude.
>still the most closer person to her sister
Doesn't really matter since she obviously has some unresolved grudges towards Remi, so only a fool would listen to her. She's also someone who loves pushing away others, even those she loves, all because of that retarded obsession with destruction she has. Flandre is unreliable and I don't give a fuck about her tbqh.

>>49654639
Please be kind to the servants

>>49654707
Mom and dad can still be there for the fun parts of parenting, the maid can just handle the tedious or gross aspects of parenting. I don't want to change diapers and my hypothetical aristocratic wife sure as hell isn't going to do it.

>>49650018 (OP)
You're quoting me, dumb brat

>>49654552
>if Fate can be manipulated, then is not Fate
Mortal human mind comprehension issues. Bet you believe numbers exist in reality.

sample sample

>>49655056
How come Remi/Patchy is so rare even though they live in the same mansion and are supposed to be BFF?

>>49655086
Because the master x servant dynamic is more popular and its hard to deny how pedo Sakuya is for Remilia

>>49654916
Go check what Fate divinely implies then came back, a hint, Odin Bootcamp didnt help him, nor the greek gods Harassed by the Moirai.

>>49655086
That pairing gets overshadowed by SakuyaxRemi and MarisaxPatchu.

>>49655086
Patchy has more of a court wizard role these days so Remilia really only goes to her when her expertise is needed. Patchy, being the introvert that she is, is fine with that. They both know that their friendship won't suffer from it and it's not like either of them is short on time.

>>49654639
Sakuya?! You want Sakuya to raise your child? They're gonna have a weird sense of humor. Outrageous!

>>49655218
>go check unrelated shit
No thanks, go check what Word of God (ZUN) says about Remi.

>>49655086
>>49655108
>>49655234
Yuri fans always amuse me. Imagine if a fujo saw you hanging out with your bros and started fantasizing about which one of your friends is the one who fucks your ass

>>49655311
You say that as if that's something a fujo wouldn't do.
They're called Rotten for a reason, Anon

>>49655311
You never had a fujo classmate? That shit happens all the time.
My buddy was a twink with L hair, and I was a very big guy. Class fujo gave us a ship name and all.
Friend was very upset, but I found it funny.

>>49655263
Suddenly, having babies doesn't sound like a good idea...

>>49655343
>Friend was very upset, but I found it funny
Ur a faget

>>49655311
That's the basis for most allegedly gay couples in history. Unless outright stated by one of the people involved, it's almost always just two close friends who were misinterpreted as being gay by historians.

>>49655351
Sounds to me like someone wasn't both attractive and manly enough for the rotten, stinky girls in class to fantasize about him breeding some twink.

>>49655343
Lucky. In my class there were only boring normalfag girls who were just interested in popular music, makeup, and boy models.

>>49655336
My beautiful wife

>>49655439
I like how this artist draws Remi using her wings as an additional, somewhat functional pair of arms

>>49655468
It makes sense for her to do so, even in canon. The wings of bats and birds are essentially modified hands, and Remi has great control over her wings.
Remi basically has four arms, like those Hindu goddesses.

I want to be hugged by Remis huge wings while she kisses my neck and pats my head with her delicate soft hands...

>>49655557
Was it really necessary to brand him like cattle?

>>49655576
Cattle are usually branded to indicate ownership, I fail to see the problem here.

Summer at the Scarlet Devil Mansion

>>49655285
your word of God forget their plot points and don't give a damn.

>>49655810
She needs to take off some clothes and visit the library

>>49655909
>refuses to acknowledge zun's canon
We accept your concession buddy
go shit up another thread with your headcanons

>>49655991
>your headcanons
>posting Risui.
Anon...

>>49655991
>Ladies of the Scarlet Devil Mansion
>it's a fucking beach episode
That shit is still ongoing? I thought it got axed or something. At least the art style is cute.

>>49656025
>>49656032
I don't care about risui. i was just lurking in futaba and saw remi in a swimsuit

>>49656044
Cute belly. I want to engorge Remi's cute tummy with my fluids!

>>49656032
Canon swimsuit Reimu is really cute

>>49656066
Holy fuck my penis

>>49656070
Remi pls, I know it's you

>>49656070
You have Sakuya and Remilia to thank for that. I doubt someone as old-fashioned as Reimu would own a swimsuit, so they gave it to her.

remilia is truly the perfect being and the best 2hu

>>49650422
>>49650455
>>49653931
>>49653961
I require Remi butt immediately for my own health

>>49656343
There you go, asshu friend!

>>49656368
Remi's butt is a miracle of the universe

>>49656343
I want the mistress to rub her butt on my face.

>>49656307
This is my first time seeing that picture but it is already one of my favorite Remilia images. Makes her look like a proper 19th century lady.

It is my destiny to have Remilia's cute butt on my face. Not even Remilia can prevent this fate from coming to pass.

>>49657135
I wonder if Remi dropped JoJo when her husbando Dio got killed.

>>49657154
How would Remilia react if I chu her butt?

Remi with a ponytail

>>49657135
>>49657205
I’ve never watched/read Jojo..... am I missing out? I always thought it was gay crap since all the dudes look pretty fruity.

>>49657215
It depends on whether you are someone she likes or not. Kissing serves the purpose of creating a more intimate bond with another person, and what better way to show that than by kissing the woman's butt.

>>49658470
Massively influential series from the 80s that gave origin to a lot of memes which then finally got popular in the west in the last decade with the anime adaptation, giving origin to even more memes.

>>49658470
>am I missing out?
No, its Reddit crap

>>49658470
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is one of the most successful manga series of all time, it gets referenced everywhere. Kind of like Ashita no Joe.
Part 1 and 2 are the best, and they're covered in the first season of the anime, part 3 has shit pacing but it's enjoyable. Only these first 3 parts are mandatory. You can also read part 7 which is standalone but inspired by these 3 parts.
It is pretty gay sometimes, yes.

>>49658470
>>49658572
Jojo is not gay, it's more about bromances

>>49658572
>>49658604
>sometimes
>not gay
It's pretty fucking gay. JJ is based on European fashion culture and as we all know that shit's gay. JJ used to be about big strong men beating the shit out of each other, then it became big strong fashionable men beating the shit out of each other, now it's just a bunch of fucking twinks and transvestites.

>>49658470
Jojo is fun as fuck and full of lol so randumb moments. ZUN is a huge fan and has put several references to the series in some of the games (one of Sakuya's spells cards is called "The World")
I think is absolutely mandatory to read the manga as a Touhou fan. Just stay away from the threads. Shit's like some fujo version of the Dragon Ball threads

>>49658402
Long haired Remi does things to my heart. I know vampires don't have reflections, who cares.

>>49658943
Vampires are also not weak to roasted basedbeans and sardine heads but Remilia is because vampire translates to blood sucking Oni in japanese. Maybe her weaknesses change depending on the beliefs of the people in a given area. So, an Englishman throwing basedbeans at her might have no effect, but a Japanese oldman might hurt her.

>basedbeans
Lol I forgot 4chan converts s;o;y to based when there is no space.

ojou-sama waiting for meiling to bring back the latest jojolands volume she lent her (meiling lost it in the woods)

>>49650018 (OP)
Is Remilia aware that all her male servants are lolicons?

>>49659837
She enjoys the attention

>>49650111
I have made this joke before on /v/hu, what a terrible fate for this thread! https://arch.b4k.dev/v/thread/637914721/#637959413

>>49659837
I'm not a lolicon. I've loved Remi since I was a little shota. My waifu just happens to be ageless and she also enjoys acting immature to make others lower their guard.

>>49659931
*PLAP PLAP PLAP*

>>49659965
Nobody makes that face while plapping

>>49659986
But it would be really hot if she did.

>>49659986
She is not impressed by your length, girth, or rigidity.

>>49659837
>implying that wasn't her goal from the beginning

>>49655343
well it wasnt YOU getting BUTTFUCKED in the end of the story WAS IT? HUH?

>>49655343
A goth girl I used to date in school was a half-assed fujo. She was only into Death Note and liked to draw shitty Light x L fanart. Funny enough she absolutely hated gay people in real life.
She was a fan of Remilia-sama too, although her only entry to 2hu was that Koumajou Densetsu game with Banpai Akira art.

>>49660534
>Koumajou Densetsu
Fuck that takes me back. Both games were mediocre at best but the art style was godly and Banpai's Remi is still a 10/10

>>49660590
The guy is awesome. His art reminds me of that brief period when the 2hu fanbase was going through their edgy phase and every artist was into Grimsokyo.
I wish I could go back man.

>>49659837
It's not my fault! I always liked petite girls, and since I'm a big guy the only hentai that had a satisfactory height difference between male and female was lolicon stuff.

>>49660909
>I'm a big guy

>>49660940
For her

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

>>49661338
Remi's budding chest~

>>49661338
I wanna lick Remi's chest all over and suck on her little boobies until they grow

>>49661338
She looks too rubbery.

What would you give for a night with Remi?

>>49661476
my virginity

>>49661476
Some of my blood and all my semen.

>>49661338
God imagine feeling her body heat and sweat as you hug her...
>>49661476
The hardest dicking of her 500 years of life

>>49661476
A ring, my love, and the promise of a dozen babies in her womb.

>>49661569
The only right answer.

>>49661476
Two cups of blood just to hang out and ask her about different historical periods.

>>49661476
Nothing, I already have a perfect moon princess.

Cute Remi in a yukata

>>49661476
I dunno, like tree fiddy?

>>49662375
She is so pretty.
I want to see her tight little ass in that yukata.

>>49662420
What would happen if I sniffed that lolibutt?

>>49663738
Sakuya would kill you to death.

>>49661476
Hey mister

Man it's fucking hot outside. It made me think about ice cream.

>>49663887
>>49663892
Popsicles are not ice cream
Remember to apply plenty of waterproof sunscreen to your vampwife if you're going out together

>>49663887
>>49663892
I prefer the "other version" where Remi is licking something else.

>>49663887
I'm more of an ice-cold Coca-Cola kinda guy

I want to spread my solar cream all over her body!

>>49664208
understandable

>>49664208
I don't, I want to pat her head and walk together along the beach hand in hand during a beautiful sunset.

>>49664276
Why not both

>>49663887
It is literally snowing outside my window. I wish we had summer weather over here.

>>49664617
Wish we could swap, I'm burning up despite it only being 15 degrees (centigrade) outside - with rain and wind.

>>49664617
I live in a tropical beach city so no snow ever, only extreme heat or rain...
I'm tired of the sand and being sweaty all the time. I just want to die

>>49664738
new incluDe 2hu doujin when

>it's hot
>too bright to see ipad
>I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere
>my feet hurt
>I want to go home
Remilia's internal monologue while some dudes are trying to hook up with her.

>>49664951
I'm one of those guys

>>49650455
Would you let the mistress wash your face with her butt?

>>49665044
That doesn't seem like it would be very effective.

>>49665044
I'd rather her wash her butt with my face.

>>49665044
Let her ? I'd ask her to

>>49650791
Oh yes jay-sama~
I've been a bad /v/hu today, please punish me~

>>49665044
Even though my face would be washed, she's the one who would end up clean.

>>49650367
I wonder if is possible for Remi to mate with a regular male bat while she's in her bat form.

>>49664677
I feel that pain. I start melting the second it's slightly hotter than room temperature.

>>49665374
They'd be too scared shitless to get close. Bats are actually pretty intuitive and can recognize other bats. I imagine they can differentiate between a common female bat and a demonic being pretending to be a bat.

>>49665466
Wow, bats are smarter than the entirety of /jp/!

>>49665540
/jp/ can tell, /jp/ just doesn't care.

>>49665551
Would you Remi as a bat?

>>49665573
Not me personally but I'm certain more than a few people in this thread would.

>>49664951
Me at the beach except I don't own an iPad nor do I get pestered by faceless muscular guys trying to fuck me nor am I a cute queen of the night.

I need a Remilia in my life...

>>49666080
She's truly one of the most kissable/marriable/breedable touhou girls. She's a polyglot, is into manga, likes weird and ugly stuff, smoll and eats very little (so she's probably quite light), rich, hospitable, and has a good heart.
I wish she was real so I have something beautiful to commit my entire being and soul to.

>>49666095
Me too anon, me too. Unfortunately 3d women will never and CAN never compare to my waifu. I was going to say something like "Make her real" but there's really not much hope for that.

>>49666095
She is real in my heart

>>49666095
I wish remi was real so she could twerk in front of my face and then sit on it.

>>49666159
I want to impregnate ojou-sama through her fat loli butt

>>49650294
playing horsie with remi everyday until a baby comes out

>>49666174
I don't think that's the proper way to do it, anon.

Fuck Remilia at full force in her vagina, mouth and ass

>>49666410
I wish to be her food so part of me could live inside her belly

>>49666159
I wanna have filthy anal sex with Remilia!

>>49667152
Remilia Ojou-sama accepts your proposition, now bend over.

>>49667184
With pleasure. Primarily hers.

>>49666410
What a messy eater, so cute~

This thread has so much porn its unbearable

>>49667189
No human can endure the length of her Spear of Gungnir. Tremble and prepare yourself.

>>49667199
are you gonna cum?

>>49667201
Can't be as bad as Flan's.

>>49667199
I blame the weather. Everyone is too overheated and full horny.

>>49667207
I'm pretty sure a spear is longer than a sword. Still, Remi is a delicate lady, not a brutish gremlin like her sister, so it will hurt you less.

>>49667211
>overheated
It was like 40 degrees in France this week. Imagine the smell of this sweaty frenchie...

>>49666095
>and has a good heart
as long as you aren't an outsider

>>49667500
>*suicidal outsider
Fixed. But yeah, she will probably see any outsider as fair game, but it's highly unlikely a human from outside could live long enough to even cross paths with her.
It is also implied she breaks the rules sometimes, like in Imperishable Night when she wanted to go towards the human village at night to "refuel" herself, although I'm sure she just wanted to suck some villagers, not kill them.

>>49667231
I want to make Remi sweat a lot.

What would you guys do with your very own pocket sized Remimi?

>>49667231
I'm sure the SDM can afford to have AC
>>49668782
I would protect her with my life, let her accompany me to work, and give me advice on a lot of things

>>49668782
Forcefully suck and lick on her tits, of course. Feel up every inch of her body. Finger and eat her ass and pussy. If she misbehaves, then she goes into the cum jar.

I love Remi and will forever cherish her especially because she was the 1st fumo I ever bought and she kept me company in so many adventures in Japan

>>49668782
I think I could buy some of those Barbie mini-houses so she could sleep more comfy, cause I would be afraid of crushing her if she slept in my bed... I'd also make sure the windows are open so she can freely go out for adventures in my garden.
Obviously I'd prepare her meals and let her suck my fingers whenever she wants. I just hope she don't get scared of my morning woods.

>>49668963
I want a Remi and a Satori Fumo so bad, but unfortunately I don't live alone.

>>49668968
Imagine the ease with which you could arrange a lilliputian tea party or banquet for the little Remimi... you'd basically be playing the Sims, right?

>>49668978
what does that have to do with you owning a fumo
are you embarrassed, or perhaps ashamed?

>>49668782
My childhood dream was to have a pocket-sized girlfriend. I would treat Remi like a normal girl, share my meals and drinks with her, bathe her with a level of water appropriate for her size, and go for walks with my chest zip halfway open so she could peek out and be close to my heart. I would also do my best to learn how to sew and make her clothes and cute dresees.

>>49669016
I'm married with a normalfag.

>>49668782
I will finally be able to lose my virginity without fearing to get mocked by my penis size

Why is Remilia so popular on /jp/ ?

On r/Touhou nobody cares about her.

>>49669183
>r/Touhou
go back

>>49669183
Redditors are terrified of lolicon. They see a drawing of a petite character and instantly assume the artist must touch children, and that everyone who has viewed it must be put to death. The concept of lithe women cannot be processed by them; it's a double-plus-ungoodthink.

>>49669183
>leddit having shit taste
Imagine my surprise

>>49669183
Because she sucks.

>>49669248
Yeah she sucks my penis every day in the morning to wake me up.

>>49669248
Vampires... suck!
(Ba dum tss!)

>>49669075
My condolences. Since you still have time to post here I'm guessing you don't have kids yet. When your wife gets pregnant get a Remi fumo for the baby. No one will suspect your powel level and Remi will protect your child from any harm.
Good luck.

>>49669450
>125x93
Is this pic for ants?

>>49669483
I fucked up.

>>49669483
Small pic for a small girl.

>>49669183
Isn't r/Touhou filled with teenagers and tourists anyway ? I don't use Reddit, and I only talk about Touhou here and on a small French server.

>>49667231
Yeah, thanks God it's over, that was insufferable.

>>49668657
>suicidal outsider
Doesn't change, that person needs a new purpose and a new breath of rural life to shake away the dreary burden of the modern japanese worklife.
I wonder what side of the recent CoLa Leave-outsiders//hunt-outsiders politics she is...

>>49666310
>playing horsie
I'd love to go on a long trail-riding adventure with Remilia and tour Gensokyo

>>49670036
Remilia is an outsider in a way. She's an aristocratic vampire who forcibly usurped part of the land to put her mansion there.
I think it would be hypocritical for her to be against other outsiders. Besides, it's more free food for her and her family.

If Remi is murderous towards outsiders, then how do you explain this pic of her and Sakuya being friends with this drunken chinese hobo?

Checkmate faggots

>>49670135
ZUN has good taste, for a jap. Mamizou and Suika might be his favorites but you can tell he has a soft spot for Remilia given she is one of the characters with more cameos in both print works and the games.

>>49668782
My entire Lego block collection is still stored in a huge ass trunk my old man made for me when I was a kid. I'll build the SDM from scratch to help her feel more at home.

>>49669183
>niggerdit

>>49670058
I think anon wasn't referring to that kind of riding.

>>49670428
How long would you last inside her?

>>49669450
Would be kind of cute if the kid grew up to have fond memories on her despite not knowing who she is.

>>49670444
Probably less than 5 minutes.

>>49670444
I'd blow a fat load on just the mere thought of having sex with Remi, go figure.

>>49670447
She'll live forever in that kid's memories. I still remember my Winnie the Pooh and frog plushies. There are certain things that stay with you, no matter how shitty the world becomes.
Remi is very thoughtful sometimes, and even the fairies who are simple-minded and childlike seem to like her. I think she'll do a good job as the kid's guardian.

>>49670444
pretty sure most /jp/ies would ejaculate instantly after the mistress pulls them into a leglock

>>49670444
9 months.

Liking Remi is indicative of supremely elite and based taste

>>49669208
Remilia is the type of character that is extremely popular in Japan but unpopular in the West for these reasons.

>>49671158
I want to lick the remi cunny and savor her supreme elite taste
>>49671555
Trips confirm

>>49670444
Not even the most sensitive atomic clock would be capable of measuring it.

Remilia is such a beautiful name and it perfectly suits my surname, if I am ever going to have a daughter I will name her Remilia.

>>49673960
A troon stole her name.

>>49650018 (OP)
>Be me
>Newfag asks who I'm quoting
>I don't know

>>49673960
Please just stick to Rem or Emilia for her sake. There are a lot of weeaboos out there now and they could recognize the name
>>49674041
That tranny already off himself, good riddance

Remi trying to improve her sleeping posture

>>49674106
Was planning to just call her Remi for short. It sounds quick and cute, if a little boyish.

>>49674132
>pink with white polka dots
My type of girl.

>>49673960
>naming your kid after an anime/vidya character

>>49674308
Fuck off Dovahkiin

>>49673960
What would you do if your hypothetical wife asked you who you are naming her after?

>>49674308
I'd like you to say that to my face fucker, me and my son, master spark, are doing just fine. We don't need your opinion.

>>49674308
There's nothing wrong with it as long as it's not something ridiculous like Sephiroth or Sasuke. My mother works in the maternity ward at the hospital, and she told me she once met a spic who named her daughter "Usarmy." Apparently, one day this girl saw a plane in the sky and read "U.S.A. Army" on the flag. Since she didn't know any English it sounded cute to her, so she decided to name her daughter that. I'm not joking.

>>49674351
I would just bullshit her and tell it's an odd latin variation of Emilia or something similar.

>>49674170
Remi is a french male name, I'm French and I had a few classmates called Remi.

>>49674458
Maybe pol is right and we live in a clown world.

>>49674543
Nta, but Remi/Remy/Remington is a pretty common girl name down here in the South. I guess it must be something similar to Alex or Jesse for you guys

Remilia would have made a good southern belle.

>>49674636
Ahh I didn't know that, that's nice to know.

>>49669272
Does she swallow?

>>49674739
Unfortunately Remilia became a weeb chuuni and decided to leave the civilized world to move to Japan, all thanks to a certain red-haired Chinese girl who thought it was a good idea to show her manga collection to her mistress.

>>49674946
It's for the best. The Antebellum South was likely long dead by the time Remilia even considered moving out of Europe.

>>49674941
She is a light eater. She tries her best, but most of it ends up wasted. She often spills more cum than she consumes
The spilled cum dyes her dress a milky white, which is what gives rise to her title, the "White Devil"

Remi kicked off her flats and let her bloodcurdling, garlicky feet rest. “okay Reimu, your flats are stunk up.” she said.
Reimu could smell the rancid odor and she wasn’t even leaning down. Remi's feet were just so toxic and it made her feel tingly. she stepped into her shoes and wiggled her toes. she felt her feet squelching in the thick sweat and slime that Flan has sweated into her flats, completely soaking into the defiled insoles and making it feel like a wet bathmat.
she inhaled through her nose and let the noxious gas flood her respiratory system. it was the foulest smell she’d ever experienced. she wasn’t even within ten feet of Remi's feet but the stench made her eyes water. five hundred years of unwashed, unclean, vile, disgusting feet, and the smell was now a part of her forever. she needed more of it.
Reimu threw herself onto the floor and grabbed Remi's feet, surprising the vampire. the foul stink was so powerful that her feet was clouded in a very faint green haze. she stuck out her tongue and gave Remi's feet a long, eager lick along the sole. immediately, the worst tastes filled her mouth. sour, stale, and utterly repulsive sweat, jam and slime covered her tongue. she swallowed and shuddered, feeling the gooey mess curdle in her stomach.
“wow, I’ve never met a mortal who has become addicted to my feet...let alone survived being this close!” Remi remarked as she rubbed Reimu's face with her damp toes. “from now on, you are my foot slave.”
Remi sat down and forcefully rubbed her biohazardous feet all over her, stuffing her toes deep into her mouth and watching her blissfully choke on the fumes. “lick them to your heart’s content, mortal. you will never be apart from them.”

It's a good thing vampires are only weak to running water, not water in general. This means showers are out, but a bathtub full of warm water is perfectly fine since it's a static body of water. I imagine Remi takes a daily soak in a beautiful vintage tub, complete with rose oils and salts, which leaves her whole body incredibly clean and smelling amazing.

gap moe

Me and my vamp wife enjoying some ice cream cones.

>>49676015
i want to be that ice cream so i could melt inside her mouth

>>49676239
Fellow vorefriend?

>>49676241
nah im not into vore and quite honestly dont understand it
i just want to be inside remi if you get me

>>49674458
>named her daughter "Usarmy."

>>49676239
I'm usually not one for vore but not going to lie, I wouldn't mind if I got vored and digested if it's by Remilia of all characters

>>49676015
This artist is on the way of becoming one of my absolute favorites along with asutora and kawayabug

>>49677926
I love Kawayabug's Remi cause she is a badass. It gets too tiresome and repetitive when artists only focus on her moeblow side and forget her cooler serious side.
I like Gobackgu, his Remi is super cute and pure sex.

I miss fkey. Shame he got isekaided.

GOD I want change Remi's diapers!

>>49654861
I'd rape Reimu for doing this

>>49678288
It's always sad to see them go over the years. I still remember when Aozora Market died from heart failure. I was not a fan of his portrayal of the sister relationship, but his doujins were my first entry to Touhou.

>>49677926
I always liked that picture too.

>>49678432
I never understood the appeal to his work, 90% of his stories revolve mostly about FuraMari which always seemed nonsensical and boring to me.
I still can understand his importance as one of the OG 2hu doujin creators though.

>>49678288
>I miss fkey. Shame he got isekaided.
QRD?

>>49678161
>It gets too tiresome and repetitive when artists only focus on her moeblow side and forget her cooler serious side.
That's one of the reasons why I don't actually have too many Remilia pictures. I have a preference for how I like seeing her portrayed and I don't come across too many pictures that do it.

>>49678557
He stopped drawing 2hu/my waifu = death.
I was just being dramatic.

Wow, this was a fast Remilia thread. Didn't realize it's already on it's way out.

>>49678575
I'm not saying that I hate her cute side tho. Remilia is both a moeblob and a charismatic leader, that's her character. Ignoring one of both sides means failing to understand her charm. What I hate is that the current day fanbase has forgotten about her charisma and can't see the lady behind the little girl anymore. Remi is a vampire who can fly faster than the eye can follow, strong enough to crush boulders, and powerful enough to manipulate demons, all confirmed by ZUN.
>>49678670
I think last thread hit bump limit in 3 days? This one was a lil bit more slow.

>>49678432
If something ever happens to Minato Hitori or Bomber Grape I will kill myself

>>49678800
>What I hate is that the current day fanbase has forgotten about her charisma and can't see the lady behind the little girl anymore.
Funny enough I ended up falling into the opposite end of that spectrum where I think of her more as a narcissistic old world aristocrat and elder vampire than a cutesy girl. When she comes off as cute I imagine that it's more an unintended side effect of her appearance rather than anything she said or did.

That's just my headcanon perception of what Remilia is like though. As for the art, I like the pieces that have more of a Victorian horror vibe to them. Elegant yet spooky, just like Remilia.

>>49678800
>powerful enough to manipulate demons
Summon many devils, FTFY. the last thing people would thing is that she can bend Shinki, Sariel, Gengetsu and such.

>>49678884
Spooky Remi is nice too. I can't think of a greater bliss than being dominated by a creepy, beautiful girl who is secretly soft.

>>49679048
Secretly likes being treated the way she looks from time to time, but only by (You), because it makes her feel young again...

>>49678288
>>49678432
I really miss Yuki, has done a lot of very beautiful Remilia artworks and doujins, now she doesn't draw much anymore...

>>49678897
It's a direct quote from her official profile, which was written by ZUN. It's a shame we never got to see her in real action before the spell cards got enforced. Danmaku must be like a harmless kid's game for a vampire, but since its rules make it possible for even a fairy to win against a god, it makes things more interesting.
>>49679113
I want her to ride me and call me daddy.

>>49679332
Yuki still retweets other touhou artists so she's not completely gone
>she doesn't draw much anymore...
She's currently busy with her own manga, a shitty furry love story between a werewolf and a human girl

>>49678670
ojou-sama must rest now

>>49679345
>real action before the spell cards got enforced.
She lost tho, there would not be a vampire contract if that were the case. there is a small reference that the SDM have a different culture and mannerism, that Nobody really likes the SDM, Humans and youkai alike. it makes sense when a failed Coup d'etat does not makes you popular with the locals

>>49679548
I think it's similar to how she went to the moon with the pretext of conquering, when all she wanted was to have fun and then leave satisfied. In the current peaceful magical world of Gensokyo they have a chance to prosper, Sakuya is learning to open up to others, Patchouli can sate her curiosity and Flan can use danmaku as a self-restraint. I think Remi ultimately won, even though she lost in the past. Who knows, maybe it was fate.
>Nobody really likes the SDM, Humans and youkai alike
They don't actually hate them, as they still go to some parties Remi throws from time to time. They just can't endure her smugness.

Another good thread. RemiGODS keep winning

Where do I meet a girl that will cosplay Remilia for me ?

>>49679704
Go to anime conventions regularly and talk to some of the girls. Just don't come off as a creep only looking for sex. Put in your head that most people are there for friendship and selfies, not looking for a date.
The girl doesn't have to be into Touhou per se, like it could be a Pokemon or Sailor Moon cosplayer, but if you're lucky and the girl likes you then she might cosplay as Remilia for you in the future, once you become friends.

>>49679704
Don't bother, people that cosplay typically have rotten personalities. Go browse /cgl/ or lolcow and you will see they are awful people. It's a narcissistic attention whoring hobby.

>>49679704
>get cute normal gf
>mindbreak her into liking anime and cosplay
>make her cosplay as remilia
>fuck her
Easy peasy!

>>49680181
>>get cute normal gf
fails on the first point

>>49679641
The bell curve of iq correlates perfectly with people whose favorite is Remilia.

i cant breathe

I'll stick with 2d girls thanks. 3dpd can't compare to Remi.

>>49679530
Goodnight, Remi. Sweet dreams.

Oyasumi Ojou-sama
Oyasumi Remibros

Bye thread, see y'all next time!

>>49681300
why would you cut out the feets?

>>49681304
Blue board

>>49681324
the same fangs that will reduce the strongest willed mortal into an obedient Remi slave for all time!

>>49681332
You don't even need her to bite you to become her slave

>>49681364
it's hotter to imagine Sakuya used to be strong vampire hunter but is now just a mind controlled slave for Remi

>>49679704
adding to what anons before me told (You)
look for someone who cosplays for fun/because they like the character they cosplay not for clout (those usually have an instagram acc they brag about or belong to a cosplay group although there are many exceptions)
an realistic goal is a one-off if they like Remilia's design

nighty night to remi and all her suitors and would-be rapists!

Sleep tight, thread.

>>49679704
https://litter.catbox.moe/5nxmfmf46ntm7sl7.mp4

>>49683691
Bye bye, Remillia-sama!