Thread 41605886

Exercise Edition
previous: >>41487412 (died prematurely)

Goal of the thread: Go out for a walk, or try to get any other form of small exercise (walking stairs for 5 mins for example)
Daily goals can be repeated. Remember to keep score, it can only go up!

>What is this thread for?
Getting better is hard, and sucks. A lot. It does not get easier doing it alone.
Share resources and experiences with combating depression, anxiety, personal issues, achieving or maintaining a healthy weight, etc.
>Why is this thread /lgbt/?
Struggles with mental and physical health are an indisputable part of /lgbt/ life, be it from dysphoria, social pressure, heartbreak, or just unfortunate lifestyle choices.
>Notes to consider:
Please be civil. Shame is your greatest enemy in fighting urges of self abuse (be it sh, drugs, or just self deprecation). Relapsing into bad and unhealthy habits is to be expected, the goal is to increase the average amount of time it takes between relapses. Any improvement is a victory no matter how small. Your worth and right to get better are non-negotiable. And most importantly:
WE ARE NOT THERAPISTS, WE DON'T REPLACE MEDICATION
>Note on advice
Generic advice won't necessarily help you in particular, but for those it does it is an essential foundation to build future progress on, not a miracle cure. Do not underestimate the effects subtle changes to your lifestyle can have. Try first, keep us posted on your progress, build from there.

We are *always* short on self help resources, so if anything was useful to you, let us know!
Since the OP is getting too long I moved all resources into their own post, see below!

## RESOURCE LINKS:

Resource link paste: https://rentry.co/sig-resources-2025-07
General advice from Anons: https://sntry.cc/sig-tips-2024-04
Posts from other sites (markdown format): https://sntry.cc/sig-posts-2024-04

I have been reading that exercising makes you produce growth hormones unlike being sedentary
Now Im thinking of doing something like 3 days a week of exercise but not sure about which ones
What are good exercises for legs and butt? Should I do cardio too or not?

>>41606040
how skinny are you

>>41606054
very skiny
im 5'8 . I started hrt a bit ago at 130pounds and I have been trying to get more cals and now im 138

Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- drink a glass of water
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
(perhaps even try arrange spontaneously meeting up with an IRL contact near you!)
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)


Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:
IRC: presently defunct afaik.
Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2

I will try to catch up later..

>>41606102
then cardio is mostly pointless for you. eat more and do weights or calisthenics. basic shit goes a long way. you can even start with Pilates and then go to the other 2. once you gain more mass cardio is just to lose fat or to increase endurance.

>>41574221
It sounds like you essentially found a working upward spiral, so to say! That's great news.
>If I do things like mindfulness and taking care of myself self love and all that jazz, then my base happiness is more stable which means I'm able to put myself out there for work and then get even happier cause the work makes me happy
This is great to hear, and hopefully an inspiration to people reading along. I'm happy for you.
>>41576447
Heya Santino!
>"What? How come it never occurred to me that I can just experience anxiety temporarily and not project a broken lifestyle for eternity?"
Tell me if I am over-simplifying but at its core it's essentially that the thought of "it will pass" is a viable anchor now for you to cling onto, right? It makes sense that it took a while to accept things as they are are not actually a forever state. It's often a difficult step in its own right.
>Is anyone else here trying to work on [raising self esteem]? Any tips?
Depends on where your self esteem is lacking. Comparing yourself to others can be a massive bane to self esteem but comparing yourself to your past self usually isn't. Sometimes it can be a matter of frequently visualizing how far you have come. That works with technical and artistic skills more than with social ones but it can still be applicable.
>>41576975
>lost about 10 pounds in a matter of a week, trying to reach my goal weight and stuff.
Impressive! But I hope it's okay if I ask what your deficit and so on are, since losing more than, say, 2-4 pounds a week is probably gonna risk binging or health risks after prolonged periods.
>>41578332
huh, gonna add this to my todo list of things to organize into the resources.
>>41580942
>The male urge to drop out of school again, get a menial nothingburger part-time job and just gayme all day
What are you studying? High school or tertiary ed?

>>41588300
>I am also going to try to get a job I need to pull myself together because I can’t be in my house just sit and do nothing.
>I talked to a friend recently and we both discussed about a someone I used to talk to.
I'm glad you're actively looking for distractions and have people to talk to. I remember a long time ago we talked about potential OCD treatments/therapy. Have you had a chance to look into it? Since it will also massively help you with that, if you end up diagnosed etc.
>>41588874
>I refuse to not exist.
You exist, and I try my best to acknowledge posts like yours in particular. I want you to feel seen. And, even if it is just a tiny bit, I can try help give you actionable advice about the
>I realize nobody cares and I almost didn't say anything,
part. Because.. it is in your power to MAKE people care. It can be more work than it should be, but that is sometimes more down to poor luck than anybody involved. We can try formulate something actionable.
>>41592407
>>event with potential to ruin my life happened yesterday
>>some extra stressors today, due to me being stupid too
>>colleagues congratulated my birthday one day in advance
>my brain is broken. my impotence is my savior and my jailer
What's your general situation like, Anon?
>>41589171
> but wish It was simple to lose weight without fearing you'll revert to even worse habits.
>I just want to be beautiful in my own way.
If you're the Anon I replied to a bit ago I gotta ask you some questions. What's your BMI and your target? What kinda diet are you pursuing, and are you generally fine with guesstimating calories?

>>41594293
>Therapy didnt work. Meds didnt work. Nobody cares and I just dont want to live anymore. Just going to give up and kill myself.
Are you still around, Anon? Tell me more about your circumstances. I'd like to hear more.
If you can stomach talking about it.
>>41593585
>how do i get back to my career after being out of work for like 6 years?
Okay so, what is the true reason for the break, if it is ok to ask?
>>41595373
>My torso hurts on both sides, must be poor posture
Most likely, yeah. Is it a frequent issue for you? Any plans to fix it up?
>>41589938
>Was offered by a professor to do some research for him next semester.
>I feel like I'm being thrown into a world with almost no friends and no job experience.
You're not supposed to have job experience fresh out of school, even if some HR karens might be so removed from reality that they forget that simple fact.
>I also try not to make a value judgement on if my time was well spent or not.
That's great to hear, Anon!
>Everyone is so lukewarm toward me outside of immediate family.
>My friend circle is distant.
As much as it sucks, these feelings of alienation are not uncommon, and on some level you will have to open up and make yourself vulnerable, risk rejection even, to no longer feel this way. Almost all of us are scared of being alone, and those that aren't some day may be. It's tough.. but you are just as alien as everyone else, I promise.
>The other two have been spent doing some of those same things, but largely hinged around finishing school, attempting to properly socialize myself after years of anxiety and antisocial behavior, and being in this general. /sig/ has changed my life. Can /sig/ help me make friends? No, but they can give me tips, right?
I'm so incredibly happy to hear that we were there for you when you needed us, and that we apparently managed to help you!

>>41606040
>>41606102
Do you monitor your caloric intake? Assuming you wanna gain.
>>41593549
>Huh? How so? What you said is right on the money (as per usual), but how do you figure?
1) I am perma-locked to Insight ≥80 and occasionally can stare directly into people's souls.
2) It is a common maladaptive response. I lack the proper language to articulate it but essentially our brains constantly try to adapt to our environment in order to survive. When fed random inputs we start to express what is known as learned helplessness. And similarly, when we are essentially in constant danger, we become tense and alert. When every little microexpression and tone shift can cause someone to blow up at you horribly (which is NOT normal behavior and it sucks so many grow up in neurotic environments like that) then it is only natural our brains try to optimize away any behavior that makes us step on a land mine. Unfortunately, in reality? These people don't blow up because of our actions. They would blow up at nothing if we were absent. That means we essentially learn not to exist, and read everything as a warning sign because there are none. Our pattern seeking brains make us chase ghosts. It's very closely tied to learned helplessness vibes wise but I can't explain it beyond this outline. But a few key takeaways are that you have automatic responses that correlate danger with random noise, almost like the "pigeon superstition" experiments from skinner. Though his interpretation is disputed the phenomenon afaik is very real.
3) I lived that to some extent too. Mom as well. And I know many others that had way worse variants of it than I.
(1/2)

Bedtime.
Keep it alive people, I have faith in you!
>>41593549
(2/2)
>Sure. Your input is much appreciated.
As for the prodding, the hard part will essentially be to feel safe with people again, which will, among other things, require you to surround yourself with some. Ideally people that are easygoing and emotionally open. The question is if anyone of that sort springs to mind?
>And I guess that's why I self-isolate.
So, from what you told me, you are very understandably locked in a fight or flight response when this happens. That's not something you can rationalize your way out of. This is deep rooted, you can't reason with the sympathetic nervous system. You kinda need to treat it like your conscious mind being chained to a small, scared animal wired to your emotional center. The good news is there are very effective treatments for this stuff.
>Someone who used to be my friend once called me a sociopath.
I tend to leave those labels to the pros, you don't really strike me as ASPD.. or at least that rage you feel is a normal response to what you have been through.
>That's good! :) Best of luck, Anon.
Thank you <3

Bump

>>41585896
>select few people
there is no one for me to contact except for one online person, I have no places to meet new ppl irl and online isn't fruitful either
>story
tranny related stuff mostly anime/manga but not only that but it's a given and other then that then just dark or depressing stuff but I mostly seen stuff people described as good lowering my standards for what is worth picking up with time to find more niche things
>school
idk not really it was more about me liking or hating the teacher and it's not like I needed to learn anything for it with how lessons with help of learning on breaks before tests was enough for me to pass with semi good grades but it left me without a good grasp on how to learn or maybe just with no determination for it idk, it could also be something else but I'm not sure as is the case with everything about me
>meds
adhd thing isn't diagnosed so I may be making it up
I was taking antidepressants but they weren't doing anything and because of that, lazynese and the doc I was seeing being far away I just gave up on it, same with anxiety that might have disappear for the moment or which just isn't being triggered often after I started neeting
now I am taking only hrt (e) injections and rot waiting to die

how do i start havin good hygiene if i know absolutely nothing about it. my parents were bums, i was depressed since 6 and cant remember anything. everyone knows all the basics already and i feel like a disgusting tranny who cant even do that.

bump

everything i tries fails im unable to improve my life i hope i have the courage to end it soon

>>41610696
Basic hygiene is simple: Buy the most basic ass combo body wash + shampoo. Walmart sells a big bottle for like 4 bucks. Buy a loofah. Any kind.

Brush ur teeth for at least a minute after waking up and before sleeping
Try to shower once a day or once every other day. Wet ur whole body and hair, pour some of the shampoo liquid onto ur head and scrub it in. Pour some onto ur wet loofah and scrub ur whole body. Armpits, pubic area, balls, etc. wash yourself off. Should take like 15 mins.

Do this and you won’t smell like shit

>>41611566
If you can't afford a loofah/sponge you can go without by pouring soap into your hands. However you will use soap much more quickly if you have no loofah. You will use up a toothbrush in 3 months, a loofah in 4-6, 3 if you want to be really clean.

If you're really dirty, try to go without a loofah, as you are more likely to spread dirt on your body.

Especially if you have to pay for water: close the tap when you soap your body or your hair. That reduces water consumption by up to 1 m3/person/month.

For the $4 a huge bottle soap the difference is not significant if you go with or without a loofah.


If you have nowhere to shower buy a ticket to a gym or swimming pool. These facilities have a shower.

Usually you can find laundromats.
For you: put all clothes in one machine, when you get richer, separate whites and colors.
Change what touches your body (underwear and socks/pantyhose) every day, the layer above every 3 days or when it gets smelly.

That means you need for a weekly wash cycle
- 7-8 pairs of panties
- 4 pairs of bra
- 7 pairs of pantyhose
- 7 pairs of socks (if you use them)
- 3 pairs of pants
- 2 skirts (if you want them)
- 4 shirts
- warm layer (either below or above the shirt such as a pullower, if there's a cold season where you live)
- 2 coats

At the very least try to have one change of clothing beyond what you wear on you and try to wash clothing every 3-4 days. Consider wearing pads in this case if you can get fresh ones somewhere for free

pg8

I will get up and get lunch now.
I will not continue to rot in bed.
And I will refill my water bottle.
executive function go

terrified of using the kitchen when other people are home due to ptsd but it's making it so i barely eat anything. i dont want to be a disgusting amerimutt that lives off doordash and takeout but im sick of bedroom peanut butter sandwiches and instant ramen when i feel fancy

>>41614015
>terrified of using the kitchen when other people are home
>bedroom peanut butter sandwiches and instant ramen
hah, i lived like this for three months at the beginning of the year. just go outside, touch some grass and get street food lol

>>41613944
I like this. Thanks for the inspiration.

I can now:
get up
put away the food
clear the table
fold the sofa
put the garbage in the bin
clear the pile on the right
vacuum
wash up
process the 2 piles on the tables a bit
put away the hangers
schedule laundry for tomorrow, since now it's too late
catch up with the tickler file
figure out the minimal gtd setup that won't slide back
see how much of it I can do today while the energy lasts
schedule bedtime and pre-bed hygiene
prefrontal cortex take the wheel

>>41608000
>Okay so, what is the true reason for the break, if it is ok to ask?
hopefully nobody i know lurks here but uh, anorexia that turned into severe bulimia, ended up a polyaddict trying to cope, destroyed my life in several ways that can't be rectified, that's the gist of it
aka. "medical break, focusing on personal health issues whilst caring for a family member"

I had a dream tonight that Scientology is the truth.

>>41608291
>>41608302
Dam I feel this
Not nearly enough protektion for abused kids ,no one really kares about us haha

>>41614935
> Terrified when using the kitchen at home due to ptsd
Do you have a safe space where you can go to cook? How impractical is getting your own apartment? Is your car large enough to host gas-powered camping gear (one or two burners, a cutting board, a gallon of water with taps, two pots, one knife, wooden spoon to stir). In your room, can you create a space which is large enough and safe enough to cook? Because if yes, you can buy an ikea induction hob, and when no one sees, steal shit from the kitchen (cutlery, cutting board, pots, wooden spoon...)
Do you have a recipe in mind you can look forward to?

>>41617224
Did you mean to respond to >>41614015? I don't live like that anymore lol

hai /sig/mas! been a while since i last updated i had some midterms lined up which took most of my time. i've been actively talking to people around, still not too social but at the very least i'm breaking out of my shell. on the weight front everything is going pretty fine, kinda got off track because stress eating but i got this i'll be back to usual very soon.
as always ly all!! sending virtual hugs and kisses goobers ⊂((・▽・))⊃

>>41617079
I'm the anon /sig/anon replied to there. I don't really consider myself an "abused kid". Yeah, my childhood was rough, my family has acknowledged that without me prompting them. But saying I was abused would be a bit melodramatic, and it would be a slap in the face of my parents, who had a hard time themselves.

>>41617617
nta but nobody ever calls themselves abused. Nobody. Not even the ones that were taken advantage of sexually by family members tend to always say they were abused. You know what they say? They say it sounds "too extreme, they were just...".
I hope that doesn't sound gaslighty, I just tell you this cause.. it is not even meant to be a value label. It is not there to accuse your parents, or say you have it worse than xyz. It solely exists to explain that you were hurt, and that the hurt clings to you in ways that need healing.

>>41617651
>nobody ever calls themselves abused. Nobody.
well, you just did lel

>>41617695
like I said, nta. Just chiming in with my own experiences. I don't think I was, myself. But it's not really a label the person themselves can always rationally assign to themselves, was my point.

>>41617719
Fair enough. I am very high right now

>>41617767
I don't judge, I would be super grateful if you pondered it sober sometime though. No need for promises, just take me as a fussy anon that means well.

pg8