Bedtime.
Keep it alive people, I have faith in you!
>>41593549
(2/2)
>Sure. Your input is much appreciated.
As for the prodding, the hard part will essentially be to feel safe with people again, which will, among other things, require you to surround yourself with some. Ideally people that are easygoing and emotionally open. The question is if anyone of that sort springs to mind?
>And I guess that's why I self-isolate.
So, from what you told me, you are very understandably locked in a fight or flight response when this happens. That's not something you can rationalize your way out of. This is deep rooted, you can't reason with the sympathetic nervous system. You kinda need to treat it like your conscious mind being chained to a small, scared animal wired to your emotional center. The good news is there are very effective treatments for this stuff.
>Someone who used to be my friend once called me a sociopath.
I tend to leave those labels to the pros, you don't really strike me as ASPD.. or at least that rage you feel is a normal response to what you have been through.
>That's good! :) Best of luck, Anon.
Thank you <3
4chan Search
4 results for "44247542ef9f1e4b863772c38cc1a5e6"
>>41352252
I noticed that I need to spread my meals more evenly through the day. I become nervous when hungry even if my stomach hasn't caught up yet. Calories and sleep are mood stabilizers in a way.
>>41355384
Overall it sounds like you are doing your best to keep your efforts sustainable, I'm glad.
>I'm not worried about the weird sleep
Hm, is there a chance you could motivate you to sleep around the time you would normally? Or is there a particular reason for her sleep sched?
>I think I'm gonna be ok. Honestly writing it all out I've come really far. I'm steps away from really having it together. I'm excited to see what things look like in a year. I just gotta keep trying.
By all accounts, it sounds like things are going well, I'm happy for you!
>>41355518
It's a super individual question, but one thing that resonates with me is the self fulfillment angle the other anon brought up. Things actually start mattering more to us if they feel attainable. The opposite of sour grapes if you will. But maybe you actually do want things to be better already, but are trying to articulate how to ever muster up the mental energy for it. In that case I would need to know what it is you wanna improve. What it is that makes you suffer.
>>41357086
Heya ciel! One thing that often helps is to first gain an overview over the things you want to work on. It can be overwhelming, but the point is to mix things that take time with low hanging fruit to get a feeling of progression going. The beginning will be slow, but I do have faith in everyone posting here making it. I might take a few days to respond in a back and forth, so take all the time to respond. I even respond to posts from archived threads and can point you to archived responses should you miss one.
I noticed that I need to spread my meals more evenly through the day. I become nervous when hungry even if my stomach hasn't caught up yet. Calories and sleep are mood stabilizers in a way.
>>41355384
Overall it sounds like you are doing your best to keep your efforts sustainable, I'm glad.
>I'm not worried about the weird sleep
Hm, is there a chance you could motivate you to sleep around the time you would normally? Or is there a particular reason for her sleep sched?
>I think I'm gonna be ok. Honestly writing it all out I've come really far. I'm steps away from really having it together. I'm excited to see what things look like in a year. I just gotta keep trying.
By all accounts, it sounds like things are going well, I'm happy for you!
>>41355518
It's a super individual question, but one thing that resonates with me is the self fulfillment angle the other anon brought up. Things actually start mattering more to us if they feel attainable. The opposite of sour grapes if you will. But maybe you actually do want things to be better already, but are trying to articulate how to ever muster up the mental energy for it. In that case I would need to know what it is you wanna improve. What it is that makes you suffer.
>>41357086
Heya ciel! One thing that often helps is to first gain an overview over the things you want to work on. It can be overwhelming, but the point is to mix things that take time with low hanging fruit to get a feeling of progression going. The beginning will be slow, but I do have faith in everyone posting here making it. I might take a few days to respond in a back and forth, so take all the time to respond. I even respond to posts from archived threads and can point you to archived responses should you miss one.
>>40987613
>My life is so perfect... I'm so grateful.
Oh? Just to make sure, you mean it? That's lovely actually!
>>40987632
Wanna talk about it? What happened?
>>40987669
I hope it's okay this will require a few posts back and forth.
>I end up playing league for 10 hours a day and I need to remind myself to shower and eat
League is of course designed to be a time sink, actively encouraging this with its matches dragging on forever. I think the path of least resistance for now would be to accept a league day to be a lost cause and try to be strict with what days you can and cannot play it. What do you think?
>I'm trying to go outside more but my sleep schedule is beyond fucked and by the time it's nice outside I'm falling asleep
unfucking sleep schedules is difficult at the best of times. Personally I find that setting alarms for when to get ready for bed can work but it requires a presence of mind.
>oh and I need to start studying but it genuinely gives me anxiety I can't even get started
This one can have a couple of actionable approaches that all boil down to lowering your initial expectations, the friction associated with getting started. What expectations do you set for yourself to start studying? To give you an approach to compare and contrast with, look into SMART goals referenced in the resources.
>>40990584
>literally should i be an accountant, a pharmacy tech? get into IT? idk.
Well let's start simple. How old are you, what were your interests in school? Do you generally wish to study and is there a price tag attached to studying in your country?
>>40992113
>I was abandoned multiple time because im weird and boring and more importanttly male and fake
Have we talked before about these feelings of fakeness, Anon?
Tell me about your current relationships, have people abandoned you, or have you been drifting apart?
>My life is so perfect... I'm so grateful.
Oh? Just to make sure, you mean it? That's lovely actually!
>>40987632
Wanna talk about it? What happened?
>>40987669
I hope it's okay this will require a few posts back and forth.
>I end up playing league for 10 hours a day and I need to remind myself to shower and eat
League is of course designed to be a time sink, actively encouraging this with its matches dragging on forever. I think the path of least resistance for now would be to accept a league day to be a lost cause and try to be strict with what days you can and cannot play it. What do you think?
>I'm trying to go outside more but my sleep schedule is beyond fucked and by the time it's nice outside I'm falling asleep
unfucking sleep schedules is difficult at the best of times. Personally I find that setting alarms for when to get ready for bed can work but it requires a presence of mind.
>oh and I need to start studying but it genuinely gives me anxiety I can't even get started
This one can have a couple of actionable approaches that all boil down to lowering your initial expectations, the friction associated with getting started. What expectations do you set for yourself to start studying? To give you an approach to compare and contrast with, look into SMART goals referenced in the resources.
>>40990584
>literally should i be an accountant, a pharmacy tech? get into IT? idk.
Well let's start simple. How old are you, what were your interests in school? Do you generally wish to study and is there a price tag attached to studying in your country?
>>40992113
>I was abandoned multiple time because im weird and boring and more importanttly male and fake
Have we talked before about these feelings of fakeness, Anon?
Tell me about your current relationships, have people abandoned you, or have you been drifting apart?
>>40065154
>Not until I am truly independent.
I hope things improve soon for you.. it's a rough spot to be in. Having to take care of loved ones when you yourself need support too.
>It feels like I'm always being watched and judged everywhere I go.
That makes sense, but to heal you will likely have to let go of this feeling, once you are out of the worst of the shitshow of depending on people that are destructively unreasonable.
>I have one person I am very open with
Good, I think you know what I would suggest there, right? I think probing them to for emotional support. I understand trust is a precious, precious resource of which you have very little left right now. But you do have needs that require you to invest it.
>Things are always happening around me and I have no power to fix or stop it.
That can lead to a lot of learned helplessness which will need unlearning later, yeah. It sucks, it is disorienting, and it will make you feel like a lot of things that can and WILL work in a better environment don't cause you only know how things play out with everything stacked against you.
>It's a constant background noise in my life, most of the time I look over my shoulder out of paranoia for all the nonsense connected to my family.
I think you won't appreciate how fucked up and worthy of sympathy and understanding that really is until you're out of that boiling pot for a while. So let me stress: cut yourself 10 times more slack than you think you should. You likely lack a frame of reference right now. No matter how poorly you think you are managing, trust me, it is admirable.
>It's part of my reason for wanting to be alone
I understand, it is a natural consequence but it will get in your way a great deal when times finally get better, and even now it can hurt and stall you. That is why I push in the ways I do.
>I'm done trying to be anything anymore.
That's okay. You have done more than enough for others, been more than enough for others, you need breathing room.
>Not until I am truly independent.
I hope things improve soon for you.. it's a rough spot to be in. Having to take care of loved ones when you yourself need support too.
>It feels like I'm always being watched and judged everywhere I go.
That makes sense, but to heal you will likely have to let go of this feeling, once you are out of the worst of the shitshow of depending on people that are destructively unreasonable.
>I have one person I am very open with
Good, I think you know what I would suggest there, right? I think probing them to for emotional support. I understand trust is a precious, precious resource of which you have very little left right now. But you do have needs that require you to invest it.
>Things are always happening around me and I have no power to fix or stop it.
That can lead to a lot of learned helplessness which will need unlearning later, yeah. It sucks, it is disorienting, and it will make you feel like a lot of things that can and WILL work in a better environment don't cause you only know how things play out with everything stacked against you.
>It's a constant background noise in my life, most of the time I look over my shoulder out of paranoia for all the nonsense connected to my family.
I think you won't appreciate how fucked up and worthy of sympathy and understanding that really is until you're out of that boiling pot for a while. So let me stress: cut yourself 10 times more slack than you think you should. You likely lack a frame of reference right now. No matter how poorly you think you are managing, trust me, it is admirable.
>It's part of my reason for wanting to be alone
I understand, it is a natural consequence but it will get in your way a great deal when times finally get better, and even now it can hurt and stall you. That is why I push in the ways I do.
>I'm done trying to be anything anymore.
That's okay. You have done more than enough for others, been more than enough for others, you need breathing room.