Thread 24618150

Vampiric edition

Previous: >>24602974

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.
(And maybe double-space your WIPs to allow edits if you want 'em.)

Simple guides on writing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme: https://youtu.be/0sXw_vTwdVg?si=c1ZS9K_uDEvBvGHt

https://rentry.co/hobointro

I've completely nixed the first chapter and started with landing, I added more of the following chapter to compensate so if you look at this before you can skip down to about halfway for the new section

context; true story travelogue social insight thing aiming to be ~60-90k words and be less about any particular story and more about the over arching culture of it all

>>24618150 (OP)
Jesus christ I guess this faggot managed to be funny only two or three times in his entire career

>>24618188
This is right up my alley. Reminds me of Down and Out in Paris and London. My only constructive feedback would be to take a page from Orwell's book and not worry too much about maintaining a perfectly accurate account of events. Fictionalize as much as you see fit—I'm talking making up dialogue, inventing scenarios, exaggerating descriptions, etc.
If you wrote a full version of this I'd read it.

>>24618211
I'd lose 99% of my interest in a travelogue if I knew it were fictionalized
terrible advice. do not do this

>>24618211
checked, thanks for the words, for this particular pseudo biographical novel I wanted to keep it as accurate as possible because of the old truth stranger than fiction etc shit but also because a lot of crazy shit happens that I don't want to lessen the impact of by making other shit up. At most I restructure the timing of certain smaller events to better flow but they still fit between the larger events


there are many things omitted that don't seem to have a place in the story as well that are like 'oh really dude? All that happened and you also stepped on a fucking nail? lmao'

Would anyone be interested in doing a 500 word flash fiction "competition" with critiquing but no voting ?

thinking about that time someone shilled an advice map-making world building video and their advice was make your map wrong on purpose
so retarded
its a fantasy genre
maps can be good, its part of the fantasy

as a reader, it is my duty to support gestating writers. many fail in this.

>>24618253
Maybe. But I'd dunk on you fools so hard I'd break the backboard. Not in critique but in prose. That's like my exact niche.

>>24618280
A saint among scoundrels.

Still seeking alpha/beta readers. Here's the description for more enticement. TL;DR: it's a satirical horror-drama about a literary vampire. 85K words long. Just knowing where you got bored and stopped reading would be enough.
productionblues@proton.me
p.s. In case it doesn't go without saying I'll give my feedback on your WIP.

>>24618322
This sounds hilarious

>>24618219
I bet you watched Fargo and got impressed by that "true story"

>>24618325
It made me laugh making it. You can read it if you promise not to hold back on feedback.

>>24618199
You have no humor in your soul.

>>24618259
I was trying to make maps but for a computer project. I never got best at it I'd imagine, but I did get a few okay maps. But I'm no artist.

>>24618326
Fargo was funny.

>>24618335
>It made me laugh making it. You can read it if you promise not to hold back on feedback.
I've made chapters as humorous as I could. I do imagine "the crew" critiquing me and roasting me for it.

>>24618417
Watch Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter next.

>>24618424
Getting talked about enough to get roasted sounds like a dream come true. Most anons have to make up and spam their own trollposts *cough* *cough* F Gardner *cough* *cough*

>>24618335
I want to read it, but anon, I have to read 11 more books by the end of the month for uni so I'm swamped as is. Would you be okay with it being slow time? I'm pretty fried

>>24618395
The cow tools story is an excellent lesson in literary analysis. That two simple words plus a silly cartoon could stir up such emotion in people is fascinating.

>>24618435
If it's not so good that you blow all your time reading and rereading it and end up flunking out of school, I'll give you your money back.

why is it that when it comes to writing for uni longer is always better?
if I barely hit the word limit I always get a B but if I max out the word limit they give me an A
doesnt matter what I say really, just the count that matters

>>24618464
Read Bullshit Jobs by Graber. They're training you to pump out useless garbage so you can work a job where you must do nothing of value. Keep in mind that the stuff you write for school is written for someone paid to read what you wrote. Meanwhile, in the real world, you'll want to write stuff people will not only want to read but might even want to pay for the right to. Lots of us have a hard time unlearning what we were taught about writing in school.

>>24618488
>Graber
*David Rolfe Graeber, gone too soon

>>24618441
Comedy gold

>>24618322
well written and hilarious, certainly intriguing. it goes without saying that beta reading will be an unpaid job ?

>>24618503
I solemnly swear that you will, regardless of your income, beg to give me money after reading my work.
Don't worry. I shall politely refuse your money until the book is published, at which point it will be sold to you at a fair price in any quantity you please.

>>24618464
Repition is a rhetorical device. By layering the position you're stating, you foster greater engagement. The subjective weight of any statement increases relative to the length at which it's discussed, under conventional circumstance. From a structural standpoint, the tactful and consistent placement of certain ideas can help a reader decipher with less context, and so the work becomes more engaging when subject to graded criteria. You can repeat yourself in order to prove a point. By repeating yourself you demonstrate clarity and conviction for the idea with greater gravity. A skillful implementation of repetition will elevate a piece through intention. Repetition is a rhetorical device; when you're good enough at it, you dont need to say anything at all.

>>24618543
this paragraph was to repetitive, please see me after class

>>24618623
who is repetitive and why are we writing posts to him? you get an F-

>>24618543
>bro if you just repeat yourself then they have to agree with you
stuff the uncreative actually believe

>>24618543
Eloquence is a rhetorical advice. You're confusing repetition with verbosity. university done destroyed your mind.

>>24618623
>>24618657
>the joke
>your head
You guys are funny, lighten up.

>>24618662
Fun fact: I write dense subtext heavy minimalist flash fiction. Who woulda thunk.

>>24618662
I'll give you some rhetorical advice: shut up

>>24618669
>I write dense subtext heavy minimalist flash fiction
proofs?

>>24618682
Son of a bitch, you come into MY house, suck MY dick?

>>24618683
Sure. Do you want to give me a prompt and a character limit or do you want to see an old prompt? I'd prefer around 150 words for brevity's sake. If you want to give me a prompt, pick a tone or changing tone, a style, a subject, imagery to include, and any additional constraints. Be creative, I've obviously practiced doing a bunch, but so no "write a 150 word palindrome" or what have you.

>>24618741
let's see your best old prompt anon

>>24618741
*posts some retarded shit into chatgpt*

heh, check it out, owned...

>>24618753
My best are going in my yet-to-be-published book. But it was exactly 150 words, no letter E, I needed to talk about a forgotten lullaby, and a rusted key. The form was a dialogue using second person with tone changing from invoking to accepting. I also have a rather good short story for children that was exactly 400 words, used an explicit line, no direct exposition, mythical tone, and something else But I'm using those in my book, like I said. So, have this one. I lost the exact prompt, wish I saved it, but it was something like exactly 100 words about overlooking a crumbling city using first person. The tone had to go from observational to resigned. I think the specific images were a highway but I forget what else. Exactly 6 sentences. It's about a gargoyle, but that was my choice. I write insanely fast too but that's not the point.

I’ve sat until rain weathered my copper green, overlooking the city. It seems its time will come sooner than later: the cracks and the ooze that bubbles; the dull reflection in the moist eyes of the citizens; and the crashing waves eating the highway. I never thought it would be like this. My cathedral was grand, but it sits fractured, apart from even god’s grace. If I could shake off the rust and grime to spread my wings, I would fly high and see the sun. As I sit, I’m left wondering, did I ever even try to see it?

>>24618794
It's perfectly capable, but its simply description and arbitrary musings and I can't find the subtext. But I'm an idiot. I hit my head very hard on my eleventh birthday in a skateboarding accident. I was concussed for a week. I still have a bump.

>>24618827
Well, the gargoyle part was the subtext. I never really say it, though I think I imply it clearly. There's also a parallel of crumbling religious icons with the bleak crumbling city. That entropy is even beyond god, and the gargoyle (man) can never rise above it (entropy) even if he dreams of the sun (freedom) because his form cannot allow it (mortality). But any more and I'm mostly jerking myself off, and my book is actually almost exclusively subtext. Here's another one, yadda yadda a prompt, under 50 words or something. Who knows.

What is a spider?
Eight legs. Fangs.

I have a spider inside me;
when I lie it grows.

My mother softly whispers
"I love you."

The writhing spider whispers
"Lie to her."

At this point
I'm a web.

>realize all books are slop and classics are just slop but layered with human misery porn
Love story? Make sure said romance fails miserably
Family story? Make sure there's an Alcoholic abusive element to it
Action fantasy story? Make sure the MC fails repeatedly and doubts himself
Is that the secret?

>>24618872
Anon I give you this sincere-post. Your heart has closed and your mind has liquified. The slop you see around you is in truth within yourself. You are the slop. Through heroic effort you can reconstitute yourself into a solid. Once this is done you will find that books of impossible brilliance have been written. The levels will continue to reveal themselves to you. You need to find a psychic jackhammer the break through the shit film that encases your heart. You need to be brave enough to feel again. I don't love you.

>>24618794
>>24618850
I hate it

>>24618876
Film isn't a crystalized solid state but a layer of thickened liquid that coats, it cannot be "broken" into. It tears, it rips, it separates, but not broken.

Knowing that, nobody should take advice from someone as illiterate as you.

>>24618923
I don't see pedants as people man

>>24618943
as you shouldn't. there's a reason demons are depicted as sophists

>almost done with outline
>head hurts

>>24618872
Unironically take the isekai pill and liberated yourself from this false paradigm.

Advice: always end your works with "Enchanté, my nigga".
It will filter out all the bad publishers and keep only the good ones.

>>24619192
>no hard R
pussy ass NIGGER

>>24619086
liberate, I should say, but sometimes the joy of freedom can cause you to make mistakes. Fret not!

>>24619214
>nigga
>NIGGER
you ever look up the history of this word? wild stuff

Give it to me straight: How do I make it? I don't care what has to be done no matter how evil or relentless. Just give me a 95% chance of making it.

>>24619422
Write, write , write, write, until some dumbass gives you a shot

>>24619422
>Write abject gobblygook
>Burn yourself to death beneath the lincoln monument.
>enjoy flood of new readers

>>24619399
Ever look up the hard R? Bitch.

>>24618150 (OP)
Has anyone here ever gotten anything published? It seems like a process. I penned a chapter book for my kids and they think it's worth pursuing it with a publisher because I have about 200 more ideas that can be written out in 5000-7000 words for a target audience of 6-9 year olds.
But where do I start? A literary agent? DIY on Amazon?
If i make it big, just tell them you knew Dr. Crudman when he was nobody.

>>24619746
You can do both. I'll try an agent first, but children's books are flooded with AI slop and since the writing is so simple its easy to produce by jeets.

41,000 words in on my 400,000-word epic. Progress is pretty tricky because the subject matter is bumming me out. But I know I have to continue. I think I can help people, and so I'll keep going.

How's my blurb

>Based on the true story of Saint Olga of Kiev.
>Daughter. Wife. Princess. Queen. Empress. Murderer. Saint.
>Jilted by her fiancee, Princess Victoria plans to win him back, but God had a different plan. She returns home to find another suitor, Prince Harold, offer his hand in marriage.

Torn between the one she loves and the one that loves her, Victoria makes a choice, only to have her husband and father be murdered by the other. Alone and widowed, she turns towards Christ and Constainople. With God, Heaven, and hate inside her heart, she returns to Novgorod seeking vengeance against the man who dared to challenge a woman protected by the grace of Heaven itself.


Any suggestions would be welcomed.

>>24619802
>FemMC.
Delete it. It's shit.

>>24619802
>Torn between the one she loves and the one that loves her, Victoria makes a choice, only to have her husband and father be murdered by the other.
Confusing sentence. No clue who murders who. Is her husband the same person as her father?

>Try to write dark poetry
>Images like this keep flashing in my head
Am I just too irony poisoned?

I am pioneering the New Insincerity genre

>>24620093
Dark poetry isnt necessarily edgy. Sometimes it's letting the quiet part linger. Sometimes it's writing something true that sounds like a joke; that's my style.

>>24620764
new insincerity is over already we're back to *r4nd0mness*

>>24620857
wasnt there a meme about randomness?
*holds up sp0rk*

>>24620865
r4nd0mness is over. we're now at post-r4nd0mness
*holds up quran*

>>24620764
Books where the narrator openly neggs the reader?

Write a story about this image.

Is it possible for a pirate to have morals?

My nigga GL is funny as a mf.

>>24620896
Lolita. The whole book is the narrator and nabo pissing on your head and skullfucking your entire literary tradition.

>>24621075
They call it doggy style; a primal copulation position. Face down ass up as they say, a certified classic. A simian knows little in the machinations of man or dog, but as the flash illuminated the night, and the sheen of the night vision lens shimmered like the eye of a great predator, the male monkey's intuitive gyrations abruptly and momentarily ceased, much to the relief of his begrudging companion. This monkey would not nut this night, and moments later, would a cigarette in the rain.

>>24621121
>would smoke a cigarette
Damn...

>>24621093
of course
all pirates lived by a (moral) code

>>24621140
So they’re inherently good people?

>>24621159
lots of 'bad' people have a moral code
good and bad are arbitrary

>>24621163
Oh, you’re one of moral relativist faggots.

>>24621167
my iq has 3 digits so yes

>>24621075
pap. pap. pap. pap. richie's shanks papped agaisn't binky's backside. felt good to pap binky the way the big ones sometimes papped him. this was the first night he her all to himself. richie was stone last in the troops social ladder so he had to take binky the first to two times by force and she howled and scratched him. this time he's lured her with a banana and stuck her hand's in sticky rubber resin and papped away to his little beating heart's content. the night was warm and he smelt spice and sex as he papped his little pink fruit into little binky's flower. he papped her and that papping was good and right and familiar to him in a faraway way and when he was close to the point of points a bright light flashed and he spewed from both ends and ran into the forest to jump from the highest tree and end this horrible life.

>>24621159
You arent good just because you have morals, you are consistent in application. Maybe even just.

>>24621167
Goodness is relative to the subject. Lion's gotta eat. Morality is relative to the concept. You probably shouldn't kill lambs, but you might have to. Evil is objective. The coyote who kills all the chickens and eats none not only kills, which is morally dubious, but denies the chicken its telos, a delicious snack, so it is evil, even if the coyote's morality allows it.

How badly did I fuck up by making a character before a plot?

Saw this sentence.

>Chinese and Indian destruction of the environment are just one of the things that plague this planet including male infant genital mutilation.

I thought it was funny and interesting. What are your thoughts on it?

To me the first thing I noticed was "including male infant genital mutilation" looks misplaced, and that's what makes it funny, and it's probably intentional. Then I wondered what actually is wrong with the grammar.

Then I thought of a minor thing, that "are" should probably be "is". I asked AI about this, and about the sentence in general. It seems I was right about are and is, and that actually turned into something interesting too.

But my main interest is the last part of the sentence. AI didn't give a satisfactory response about that.

I don't know much about grammar but I think maybe the reason it's wrong is because the subject of this sentence is "destruction of the environment".

Then you have an adjectival phrase or modifying phrase or whatever: "Chinese and Indian"

This part: "are (is) just one of the things that plague this planet" is also kind of a modifier of the subject, or rather the predicate. Again, I'm learning.

The part "including male infant genital mutilation" is obviously meant to modify "things that plague this planet", but the way the sentence is structured it doesn't make sense. Anyway I have to run now, but if anyone wants to discuss this please do. I'll check back later.

>>24621527
Do you mean you made this retarded third world sentence? If you can't deconstruct what was so bad about it that you've decided to use chatgpt to break it down to you, fuck

honestly man, read more

>>24621541
Not an argument. Say something enlightening or say nothing at all.

>>24621527
tard

>>24621549
holy shit man really? You've watched a bunch of stoic western media and now this is your fucking attitude? Spoon feed you like a little baby with how you're being a stupid bitch or say nothing at all? For fucks sake dude if you wrote that god awful sentence just hang it up for a while and read more. It's wrong for a multitude of reasons and all I'm going to do is rewrite your retarded sentence for you


Like infant genital mutilation, destruction of the environment by China and India is one of the many things that plague this planet.

pop that into your ai and smoke it, dipshit

>the entire climax relies on the bond between the MC and FL
>I'm not certain about it in the outline
I'm so close...

>>24622227
A creative and well-written political piece

>>24622299
Donald was some kind of fucking freak. Some kind of loser. You couldn’t quite pin down exactly what was wrong with him, but it was glaringly obvious something was wrong with him. Once he started talking, he wouldn’t stop, and who knows where it would take him. Everything he said flowed like hot soup that burned your tongue when it entered your mouth, and you couldn’t process his voice without your head throbbing in pain. Despite all this, he had his charm and his bravado, there was something altogether more “real” about his presence. You knew that when he spoke you were in for something horrible, and that made it more genuine than what most people had to say.
It seemed every five minutes he would sigh, and every thirty minutes he would smoke a cigarette. The cigarette was the high point of his day. A break from the total monotony of his routine of eating, sleeping, and wasting away in his chair. The cigarette gave him a break. A few seconds of living, where he was slowly dying. The modest gift of poisoning himself that brought his mind so much comfort. It was regular that after he did anything he would smoke a cigarette. Made some food? Smoke a cigarette. Used the bathroom? Smoke a cigarette. Watched an episode on television? Smoke a cigarette. Usually his day would consist of distracting himself from the thought of smoking a cigarette until the time came around to smoke and it felt like a real upset. The flavor, the lightheadedness, knowing it was irresponsible and dangerous, it felt like a pact between him and death, more pleasantry for a shorter life and he loved every moment of it.
Donald considered himself an idiot. Despite being quite intelligent, he never used his mind for anything and clung to the drink instead. So naturally he considered himself a dull witted beast and acted like one.

>>24622410
Yeah, yeah, we get it, orange man bad. Please limit excerpts to one post.

>>24622426
if the shoe fits....

>>24622227
clean but bland
fine contemporaryslop

>>24621527
Bump

>>24622227
I actually really dig the prose style.

Guys i think i just broke my brain.

Im writing 3 poor teen sisters as my main characters and 2 of them resent the fuck out of eachother, and writing it, I made it so that they constantly insult and belittle eachother, but over time, im starting to think that this isn't really how girls would give eachother shit, and that im writing them like how boys talk shit at eachother and make fun of eachother and now Im worried that people can tell im a dude writing these characters and will shit on it.

Is there anything I can do to fix this or what works for you when accurately writing girls?
Please no sexism, it's not helpful.

>>24622716
My novel has a heavy focus on teenage girls too, and I just use a mix of my own observations on teenage girls, how I’ve seen them behave both IRL and in media about teenage girls, and then I just add dimension to them so they’re not teen movie stereotypes.

I think the big thing to remember is that many of them are quite clique-oriented. In teen girl culture, you’re either part of the “in” group, or you’re an outsider, and the girls who are actually strong enough to not cave to that peer pressure tend to be more intelligent and thoughtful people overall.

>>24622716
Who cares if people can tell you’re a dude, you’re writing something that feels natural to you, keep going.

>>24622806
im going to be presenting this to a mostly female group, is why I care and why this is worrying me

>>24622816
>>24622716
Realism: what you need to understand is that girls, just like boys, are incredibly varied with how they act. Women like saying that "no woman would do that" but they're full of shit. As a guy it's hard to imagine that everyone doesn't hate getting kicked in the nuts, yet there are guys who seek that out. Women have the game kind of freakish variety. Chances are that there are teenage girls that acted exactly like you described them in your story.

That being said,
The problem: readers have an expectation of what characters (people) are like. Some of them will not like it if those expectations aren't met. If characters go against too many established tropes then that causes friction for the reader.

In the case of teenage girls the expectation readers have is that girls are more passive aggressive and catty towards each other. Less direct insults, although those happen, and more veiled insults, talking about them behind their back, getting them into trouble etc.

>>24622716
>>24622816
this is like a christcuck absolutist writing stories about substance-abuse to the local anonymous alcoholics, an absolutely suicidal move with nothing to gain

>>24623108
To be fair, most adults seem to be completely clueless about kids and teenagers. It's like somebody wiped all their memories of being that old. They make judgements based entirely on what they think teenagers are like externally to them, rather than what they remember teenagers being like when they were teens. In other words, adult women are as clueless about what teenage girls are really like as men.

>>24622716
>what works for you when accurately writing girls?
1. Talk to women
2. Listen to women
3. ???
4. Write women

>>24623507
>>24622716
writing women is easy, just write a male and then remove all accountability

Posted a while ago. Updated version of plan. Does anyone have any advice on running two plots side by side but at different times? The prologue is vital to the story, but I want it to go side by side with the central plot. I'm just not sure how it would work

I was looking for some kind of online forum for writers, so I tried a few Discord servers but they were all either super dead with hardly anyone posting in any channel at all, or were overwhelmed by "here's part 17 of my harry potter fanfic" kind of trash. Are there any places that aren't shit? Doesn't have to be Discord, anything will do as long as people are actually frequenting it and it's "serious".

>>24623637
it's either this or truelit pal. i know. i was horrified too.

Write a story about this image

>>24623883
'That one!'
Mark slapped two dollars on the counter and pointed to the sticker he wanted under the glass. It had a picture of a troll carrying a sack on a stick and the words 'Please don't feed the bums' underneath. The kid behind the counter slid open the door and retrieved a sticker from the stack.
'Good Choice, maaaan' the kid said, slowly setting the sticker on the counter. 'Anything else, man?'
'Nah, I'm good.' said Mark. He grabbed the sticker and walked out onto the street where his red Jeep Laredo sat. It was covered in stickers he had collected over the years, he'd once been pulled over for having too many blocking his rear view. He peeled the sticker off the plastic backing and let the trash fly into the wind. Underneath a sticker that said 'JESUS SAVES, HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!' and right above one that said 'Coexist' in religious symbols was the perfect spot. Mark carefully pasted the sticker into its new home.

Across the street some gay shit was happening.

>>24623944
beautiful non

>>24623960
yeah but I'm already upset with it, finding a million things that I could have done better or restructured if I thought about it for more than a second. Underneath should have said beneath etc

>>24623637
Immersion ink, but i ended up leaving it recently. I found myself way too much at odds with some people there. It has the same overall problems writing/author spaces have where its the same questions asked for eternity, day in and out, and I had 2 people tell me off when I made a point about giving advice and it's just really easy to have mob mentality when your opinion on something is against the norm. Its not a totally terrible place per se, just don't get too involved in its author channel specifically

>>24623991
It's a tattoo parlour ? Can't find jackshit online.

>>24623998
Immersive ink, phone autocorrect kept fucking with it

>join writing contest
>be one of the 23 finalists
>don't make it into the top 10 who actually win a prize
GOT SO FAR
AND TRIED SO HARD
BUT IN THE END
IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER

Apparently people here hate grammar. Where do I go for grammar discussion?
>/lit/ catalog
>search: grammar
>only hit is this thread

>>24618464
there’s a bias on Reddit for longer posts
this happened on the not-left-leaning subreddits as well
I guess the longer something goes on the more likely it is that there’s going to be something worth upvoting
also
for your university stuff
maybe when you have a lot to say your output tends to be better
if you’re struggling your ideas are probably not as good or well-thought-out
I sneeded at my 7th grade teacher who made us write half a page for every question but she was right to, in a sense — if you can write a lot about a thing, you almost certainly know more about it

>>24624188
Latin nerds are often grammar nerds >>24607199

>>24624221
Yeah I'm active there recently but you're supposed to discuss Latin, Greek, other classical languages and possibly "general grammar" but not English grammar there.

>>24624018
oh, it's discord. i've never used it before. will it alter my genes to try ?

>>24624257
At worse you'll realize you're out of tune and out of touch even amongst writers and thusly crawl up the mountain to your hermit cave and slave away alone. Forums wise there's royal road and scribblehub but these are more for webnovels

>>24624278
then i'll stick to this menagerie of idiots and degenerates and pseudo-pseuds i'm thinking

How much figurative gasoline would I pour on myself if the antagonistic religious faction in my fantasy story was based on Islam or Judaism instead of Catholicism?

>>24624318
probably none if you don’t get famous
you probably won’t get famous

>>24623991
I was in a discord that was pretty good
In order to join you had to post an example of your writing
kept a lot of the rabble out who don't write

I HATE THE SUMMER HEAT
I HATE THE SUMMER HEAT
I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF

>>24624318
readers won't notice if you abstract it enough and don't lay it on so thick as to metaphorically have your text screaming HEY THESE ARE FUCKING KIKES (e.g. don't just reuse jew rituals/traditions or directly quote from the talmud)

Be the change you want to be. Post your excerpts and have it shat on.

>>24624489
I've already posted a call to read and shit on not just an excerpt but the whole thing.

>>24624318
>judaism
some people online will get mad at you while others will become huge fans
>islam
you will get beheaded

>>24624188
What could you possibly have to discuss about grammar? Couldn't you have a much richer conversation about it with an LLM?

does anyone else leak precum when they write romance

>>24623546
I understood that reference

>>24625078
If by leak precum you mean suffer explosive orgasms then yes

>>24618150 (OP)
>sit down to do some writing
>so dyslexic that I have to reach for my phone and dictate words to get correct spelling
>only manege about 300 words before I get too frustrated to keep going
>MFW

>>24625250
Text to speech ??? Could you record you talking to a tape recorder and hire a writer ? I get dyslexia when I'm at work but never when I'm reading

300 words is literally nothing. Just switch to voice recordings and type it out later.

>>24618150 (OP)
Probably impossible due to this being a political charged world, but how do you write a compelling gay male main character that attracts even straight male readers?

>>24625250
just get a dictation software
if dictation was good enough to write paradise lost, it's good enough for you

Never ever
It's never over
Find the will and someone will
Get over it
You're over now

>>24625056
Wing, we've read your works. You need to go off to reddit now and advertise there.

>>24625437
Text to speech is good for texting family and posting on 4chan. If i try to use it for serious writing, it becomes a distraction as I have to focus on a intermediary.
>Could you record you talking to a tape recorder and hire a writer ?
lamo I have almost no money. I always knew I was never going to walk up to somebody and say, "will you work for me, even though my subhuman retard and broke?"
>300 words is literally nothing.
In my defense, I was writing xenofection about a mythology invented by cats with nothing better to do than to shit post on the internet all day. Every sentence is harder than it would be if I were writing human characters or a Touhou finfic or something.
>>24625490
>just get a dictation software
I do use it. It's futo voice typing piped into my computer's with KDE Connect. I would sooner go to an American poo-poo pee-pee rape dungeon for stabbing a dude in the throat then go back to using Windows and Dragon Naturally Speaking.
>if dictation was good enough to write paradise lost, it's good enough for you
Milton was going blind. He had an excuse.

>>24625565
Also, here's the xenofection I was writing. I'm not sure of cat characters should meow things rather than saying them like a normal character. This is the end of chapter one of a bigger story.
>When Monorail Cat's doors opened, Happy Cat found himself in front of Ah-Nom, the god of food. He was sitting still, ears flat and tall thumping on the ground. "Plez stop pryings 4 cheez burger. It annoying." he meowed.
>"I can haz cheez buger?" Happy Cat meowed.
>"NO! You go gets your own cheez buger!" the god of food hissed back. He pawed a crumpled pice of paper towards Happy Cat who instinctively started batting it around. "Dis iz teh list of where to get teh ingredidents 4 your cheez buger." Happy Cat stoped playing with the paper ball. He did not like the idea of having to work for food. Whale he wanted to protest, he saw that Ah-Nom had arched his back, puffing up his long coat of orange fur. It was then that Happy Cat realized that working for he's cheeseburger was better then getting clawed in the face by a god. He picked up the paper ball in he's mouth and went back into Monorail Cat. After hitting it with he's paw the ball uncrumpled and found it was indeed a list of ingredients and where to find them. The first item was the bun, listed as a bagel form a city called Mew York. He looked out the window as Monorail Cat departed and watched the disgruntled god of food walked away. It was then Happy Cat knew he's quest for a cheeseburger had begun!

The cats will speak in broken grammar and bad spelling because I think it's too funny. I plan to have interludes in between chapters where the cats have their conversations on a 4chan-like message board, where they act about as smart and stupid as you'd imagine.

Have you ever been reading a book and tried to imagine yourself writing it
And then realize it's so over?

Are there skyscrapers/office buildings with a parking garage built in or are parking garages always a separate building?

Hey everyone,

I'm currently writing a story about a paraplegic who befriends a harpy (has wings, but no arms). I'm wondering which general would be the best audience for this.

https://pastebin.com/1qyD1n34

If anyone reads it, I'm also interested in critiques based on lucidity and understanding, because these were two things I hadn't focused on until now.

>>24625698
none

Been working on this for awhile. It’s probably bad, but I wanted to share it. And yeah, I know wolves can’t get leprosy, it just seemed like a good disease to have. Part one of a religious fable.
https://pastebin.com/cdSqj60w

>I'm >24625698
>>24625758

Why do you say that––oh wait, I linked the wrong one! My apologies. You can find the updated one here:

jerdarious.org/ww1

>>24625471
Write a compelling character no one will care if he’s gay. Straight dudes love Freddie Mercury he’s compelling as could be. Like what are you talking about man. Is he gonna be taking dick and day dreaming about gangbangs? Don’t write that part.

>>24625250
this post itself is already 37 words. Just do 10 4chan posts and you'll already be at 370 words. How long could that really take?

>>24625698
this seems schizophrenic, but maybe my reading comprehension is just poor

55k words into my new project. I made it across the big slump that always hits between 30-40k where everything feels senseless and futile. I'm starting to find joy in writing the story and look forward to it each day. I thought I'd already lost that feeling for life, but it's still there. Hold onto your soul, anon, it's more precious than any money or fame and you won't realize that until it's gone!

>>24626006
What's it about?

>>24626100
How power intimidates and isolates and isn't a solution to everything, like the weak want to believe.

>>24626146
its far better than the alternative

i want to build a website for my writing but the free design sites ive tried are too hard and annoying :( what do you guys use?

>>24625625
parking garage is built into the ground floors and extends a few floors underground

>>24626231
Normally I just spend years writing in secret and then never share it out of anxiety and then die and all of my work is deleted by whichever of my zoomgroid nephews inherits my computer factory resets it so he can mine etherium with it.

>>24626251
ye thats what ive been doing desu

anyone else here to get lowkey touched by their uncles when they were a kid ? i've always thought it added to my creative ammunition stockpile, but lately it's made me feel all my expressions and productions are somewhat corrupted. as if such base things are catching.

900 words done so far today. 47,000 words down, 353,000 to go

>>24626259
I wasn't diddled but I think this way about my formative years and how bitter and joyless I can be. I disallow myself pleasures.

>>24626380
brother this quantification of expression will kill you. why do you have this unholy goal ? why are you measuring the work in numbers ? what are you trying to say with your story ?

>>24626386
I think the quantification is fine, it's like a little progress bar. My narrative is grand, multi-generational, spanning and tragic. And there's enough differing voices in there that it doesn't get dry. I'm having fun and feel satisfaction when I add another % to the meter. I have posted before on here (to my own dismay) some excerpts. It's not just one story; it's a narrative, which is why it needs a high word count.

Upon the advice of another non I joined the "Immersive Ink" discord channel. It was my first time using discord. I felt uneasy. Like I'd walked into the wrong room in a building where some abstract meeting was taking place. The channel had a writing challenge going on, in which the goal was to write a twenty-thousand word story in twenty-four hours. The obsession with word count uber alles is incomprehensible to me. Stories need to get shorter, not longer. We must improve not in verbosity but in eloquence and exactitude. We must do the most with as little as possible. I acknowledge that is just my opinion. Think I'll stay here instead.

>>24626432
Isn't Immersive Ink for web novelists? I heard someone talking about it on /wng/ (I also don't use discord myself).
About word count, the thing is that the web scene is full of long and even fulller of dropped stories, so getting to at least novel lenght in a month is a must.

>>24626432
>Stories need to get shorter, not longer.

>>24626231
I have a neocities i have a creative writing page for. Other than sites like RR/SH of course

Hi does this read alright?
It's okay if it comes off as a bit amateurish as it's written from the perspective of a character writing to an authoritative figure, detailing events he thinks important leading up to an incident.
That being said it still has to read well and hold interest. Would you continue reading, is what I'm asking?
Thanks

https://pastebin.com/KPTCH1ty

>>24626440
I suppose I hoped that between the ten-thousandth tale of an orphaned paraplegic who, with aid from her quirky friends and tom-boy love interest, succeed in overthrowing the tyrannic literary representation of the author's poor fucking dad, that there would be some literary fiction, or at least some subversion of the common trope. I'm not as elitist as this makes it sound. It suppose I thought, let me try.

>>24626457
For me it stuttered at the stand before it began to flow. Particularly in the second sentence — using "speak" where I believe you should use "talk" (far more of a noun) — as well as with the inclusion of words I feel are superfluous: "somewhat", "also", "really". I think cut the half-hearted language and let it run as a psychological piece. I understand the unsure language may relay the narrator's lack of confidence, but I believe that can be done through dialogue or action rather than the narrative run. I can't help wonder which Camps Bay this is.

>>24626432

>“Every herd is a refuge for giftlessness . . . Only the solitary seek the truth, and they break with those who don’t love it sufficiently.”

>>24626432
>I deliberately entered a discord centered on a genre I don't like and now I'm mad how could this be happening to me

reminder that many of muh classics are long as fuck and overwrought because they too were serialized at the time

>>24626484
Camps Bay, Cape Town South Africa.
Thanks for the notes. It seems like too much effort man, think I'm going to quit this project for a while and tackle it again at a later date.

>>24626588
Noways — I grew up in the Rondebosch. Have mixed feelings about the city when I go back, but still think it's the most (naturally) beautiful in the world. For what it's worth I really liked the angle of the story. Hope you keep going, even if you do take a break.

>>24625925
>How long could that really take?
Longer than it should. It doesn't help that I want to publish my work episodically on Substack. LanguageTool seems to help a lot, but it should not be such a big problem for someone whose only language is English.
>>24625927
It's not just you; I have no idea what is happening in Anon's poem. Stories about disabilities always seem to piss me off anyway.
>>24625584
I'd still like an answer on whether my cat characters can "meow" dialogue or should "say" it like normal characters.

>>24626680
That's cool, I stay near Rondebosch. The story is somewhat of a criticism of the city, at least one aspect of the story. I applied some of your suggested edits and it does read cleaner. It's just a matter of getting into the habit of using less embellishments when describing things. I gotta practice that.

>writing fanfic
>hyperfixate
>wrote literally 12,000 words in one day
>writing novel
>mill around staring at blank screen getting frustrated
fuck

>>24619802
it's pretty sloppy and confusing, you could reduce the wordcount by 30% and simultaneously clarify it, most of this is meaningless fluff and platitude. it's also confusing whether this is historical or historical fantasy or historical magical realism. set it down for a week and come back to it.

>>24618322
sounds fascinating

>>24625550
Who the hell is Wing?

>>24626768
Thanks again if that's you who just reached out

>>24626457
>It's okay if it comes off as a bit amateurish
This is an excuse. Don't use it.
>Later he would prove to be the cause of an instance of terrible embarrassment to me.
Too wordy.
>*Later he would embarrass me terribly.
>why I'm dotting down this
*jotting down
>Would you continue reading
Probably not. Too amateurish.

>>24626432
>Stories need to get shorter, not longer.
silly zoomer

>>24625796
>I know wolves can’t get leprosy
They also can't talk, so don't worry about it. This is really neat anon, it put a smile on my face like a fairy tale. What's the moral lesson supposed to be? Always help out a dying talking wolf?

>>24626432
>Stories need to get shorter, not longer.
Anon spent .01 seconds on Discord and his brain is already this fried

>>24624464
Good advice, however, I refuse.

>>24625698
I got down to the second "stanza." It reminds me of the meme where the hack "poet" takes a regular prose story and arbitrarily splits it into shorter lines with no understanding of verse, rhythm, stressing, etc. I can only imagine you posted it here because you got laughed out of the poetry general.

I posted an opening excerpt a few days ago, but here's the completed opening. It's a meta-subplot inside a larger story. I won't explain too much about the in context, but as for the story at large, just that the guy writing it is struggling with porn addiction, and he's picked up this little girl (who's going to help him get over it eventually). Anyway, he's trying to write a comic book after a long hiatus.

I said before, and I'll say again, it's pretty experimental, so let me know what you think. Deffo not my usual style. Let me know what you think!

https://rentry.co/k7ripmnh

>>24627091
how young is this "little girl", non, and how exactly does she "help him get over it" ?

>>24618219
Evidently you've never run across "Molvania: A Land Untouched By Modern Dentistry".

>>24627091
I was skimming by the time I got to the "7 years prior" timeskip and by that point I wasn't invested enough to care to decipher whatever was going on.

>>24621093
Privateers commit acts of piracy in the name of some authority. Does that count?

>>24621395
Why would that be a fuck-up? There's nothing wrong with fiction being character-driven. In fact, you can make up your fiction in any order you want. There are no rules only what works for you. You may be a "lawful plotter".

>>24621395
>staring writing anything at all
You fucked up bad bro, the bucket crab army ain't gonna like this

>>24627094
Well it's going to be him realising that some things are allowed to be innocent. He's not going to pedo her, he's just going to learn and heal

>>24627127
I was banned from a /lit/ discord one time because I wrote too much.

>>24627147
the commend the proximity to the perverse. i trust you will approach the subject with endless subtlety. good luck with the work anon, keep writing. i am a crab you can stand upon to reach the rim.

>>24627165
>i am a crab you can stand upon to reach the rim.
(NTA) *stomps on your head and jumps out of the bucket before anon has a chance to*
Ha ha! Freedom!

>>24627173
i'm happy you are out the bucket anon.

>anon gets eaten by a big ass seagull

>>24627184
The big ass seagull represents a big ass publisher. Later losers!

>>24627228
>he doesn't know

>>24625471
Louis de Pointe du Lac, Albus Dumbledore, Abraham Lincoln, Achilles and Frodo all appeal to straight readers. The important thing is to make them more than JUST gay (or more broadly, any character should be more than just their demographic). Note how each has their own distinct personality that drives events and is expressed in both their words and actions.

half the keys on my keyboard are broken. this includes the enter key, the backs_ace, the letter after o, quotation marks, question marks, a_ostro_hes, colons, semi-colons, and the number zero. I might have to return to handwritten.

>>24625471
Ephraim from red rising

>>24627274
You can replace your keyboard, you know.

>>24626588
South Africa has some great writers

>>24619802
>Daughter. Wife.
Who isn't?

Nathan, post an update. I miss u

>>24627111
Fair enough. That's enough as criticism as I'll ever get, I suppose. Was the format too jarring? Or was the writing just dull?

>>24627165
Thank you, kindly crab anon. I will pass down my own arm once I'm out to help others.

Is gatekeeping bad?

>>24627392
Both terms are far too broad for the question to have meaning.

>>24627314
its a la¶to¶

>>24626913
Sure, thanks I'll win you over next time ok?

>>24627329
Damn, I didn't know. I think I only read Wilbur Smith.

>>24627421
Yes, and you can replace a laptop's keyboard.

>>24627421
You can also plug a regular USB keyboard into your laptop. Seriously, do you have any problem-solving skills whatsoever?! Or is this just some dumbass trolling?

>>24627449
>is this just some dumbass trolling?
Yeᴾ, ᴾrobably. Why else make such ᴾiss-ᴾoor ᴾosts?

>>24627449
dont need that letter to tell you to go fuck yourself
>>24627486
not me. no question marks remember

>2 excerpts posted in the last 2 days
>3 replies or fewer
>1 reply of feedback each
Wew this place is stone cold ever since the webnovel guys left.

>>24627513
the first reply has over 40 views but only one person has said anything about it lol

>>24627513
stop moping, post an except, I'll give you my thoughts, I'll be kind but honest.

>>24627513
>>24627529
i'm going to sleep, but post something anyways. i'll look it at tomorrow morning. i promise.

>>24627522
If you're talking about the travelogue, how would you even comment on that? Anon said it's just recording a bunch of things that happened to him. It's not about story, it's not about character, it's not about arc, it's not about dialogue.

>>24627513
I came back a coupel weeks ago and gave out 3 effort crits
two I'm pretty sure were directed to a resident retard who proceeded to have a melty for the rest of the day. the other was a newfag with an ego

>>24627585
It's very clearly a cultural insight story and not a simple tourist log, regardless, there's a lot of things that could be said. You don't need 90 pages of a books background to give critique on the prose, how it flows etc

>>24626231
>>>/g/wdg/
ask in the web development general (when it pops back up) how to git gud
if you want to get started without them have a look at https://portal.mozz.us/gemini/gemini.circumlunar.space/users/adiabatic/words/computing/internet/nice-personal-website/ and the links on it

>>24627493
So you just want to cry and whine, and not do something simple to solve your problem, like plug in a USB keyboard? Check.

>>24626231
I use one of the free design sites. My site looks like shit

>>24627585
Counterpoint: It actually still is about all that stuff (it's all storytelling)

>>24627513
I've been coming to /lit/ since its inception and no good writing has ever been posted here. If anything, this board is used as a dumping ground for tourists who arent even interested in literature.
>huh, who will read the first and only draft of my uninspired crap? I know! /lit/! They'll read anything, probably!

And I dont mind critiquing crap. I do it all the time. But there's zero point in offering advice to the non-readers, first-time-writers on /lit/. I critique stuff to help cultivate a literary clique of like-minded individuals. People I can hang out with. People who care about the things I care about. You critique the writing here and the writer disappears forever. Maybe they never write again. Because like I said they're tourists who dont read and have never written anything in their life before. And they're certainly never going to reciprocate, never read your stuff in return. Even if they did, what advice could they possibly give? It would be like asking your mom to read your manifesto. Unfortunately, being an anonymous website where every post is equal only ends up causing a glout of crap.

In my writers group the majority of regulars are awful writers. Their stuff is top cringe. Like holy shit. Grimdark anime cliches galore, melodramatic silliouquies, awful dialog. Genuinely unbearable. I know these people have nothing useful to say about my work. But there are two or three writers who are actually talented, and their advice is worth its weight in gold. Now here in an Anonymous board you have no idea who is critiquing your stuff. It could be a pronoun queen, someone whose major literary inspiration is Attack on fucking Titan, a crab in a bucket, or an actual good writer. You just dont know. And as much as I like the Anonymous format of this website, it just doesnt work for workshopping.

>>24627893
I've received good feedback and given good feedback, begetting fruitful discussion
even caught an anon implementing my advice in his subsequent excerpts and complimenting his progress
ALL writing groups are 90% functionally illiterate retards. atleast here if someone outs themselves as the annoying kind you can just drop the reply chain. other places, giving critique earns you a petty bitch who will always act like a woman scorned whenever you're around
/wg/ has its upsides for feedback. main downsides being that it's inconsistent, and depends on good posters being present and feeling in the mold, and that you can't vet retards by familiarity. not a big deal if you can sightread the signifiers of dumbasses and non-readers

>>24627893
this mfer really gatekeeping writing by saying you have to digest everyone's stale shit and give commentary on it like bro do you think the greats ran around reading other unaccomplished people who aren't their personal friends like some sort of school teacher?

You want the random pronoun queen whose major literary inspiration was attack on titan because those are more representative of the bulk. Who wants to inspire some retard writer tortured artist? Real artists try to wake the dead, try to make the unfeeling feel. Guaranteed everything you think is good is shit huffed by only the most up their ass writers? Who the fuck writes for writers? Reevaluate yourself

>>24627893
board is called /lit/

not /writers/

imagine if musicians who wanted to make solo music hung around in discord servers together with other musicians who also had no interest in making music with other musicians, critiquing each other's shit like 'uhhh but did you listen to everyone else's shit first before you posted this song?' like first of all who the fuck cares what other musicians think, you need the opinions of people who listen to music not the ones who write it

>>24627961
>who the fuck cares what other musicians think
This is one of those things that sounds cool to say but is ultimately meaningless. Who cares? I do, obviously. If I didn't care, I wouldn't write. I want people to read my stuff and take something from it. I don't care if they disagree with me or have qualms about the stylistic choices, but I do care about it being enjoyable enough to be readable, I do care about it being at least as interesting as 900 words or so can be, I care about the point itself coming through in the text enough that people can agree or disagree with me. You think musicians don't get around and play together? You think Van Halen never said to Brian May 'oh yeah that's good but try this maybe?' I care, and if you didn't care, you wouldn't have posted.

Revisiting your own writing after a few months sure is humbling, isn't it...

>>24627980
Yes I do care on one hand because writers are the only ones who have the capacity to explain why they don't like something, on the other hand I know artists, I know writers (they're usually insufferable faggots like you acknowledge) and I know that often it doesn't matter how good you are at playing art - rather, it's who you associate with and how you push yourself to be recognized by normal people. What does getting recognized by the angst ridden crabs in a bucket do for you? Fluff your ego?

I know a guy who travels the world playing music on the street in rich tourist areas, he's got like 3 albums on bandcamp and his youtube videos have approximately 3-500 views each. He's not famous, not even a little, but he still travels the world doing nothing but playing music because that's his passion. He doesn't make the music for people who write music or for some big agency to pick him up, he does it because he likes it.


Of course we can get together like musicians and critique each other but it's like saying you refuse to listen to anyone on open mic night who hasn't been there for weeks. If something reads, it reads.

>>24627990
It's actually great if you've worked the story into something good. Meaning you've done some kind of cursory editing. Sometimes I forget the shit I wrote and start reading along like it's something I picked up in the store.

>>24618441
Lol my grandparents had the entire farside anthology collection, used to sit on the toilet for hours as a fat kid shitting out KFC and eating farside on the toilet. Beatle Bailey and Garfield too. I unironically have probably seen every cartoon and comic strip in Far Side, Beetle Bailey and Garfield before I was 14. We didn't have smartphones until highschool so shit-time was actually really cozy with a comic book

Why, yes, I make sure all of my male leads are hung like horses and my female leads have big tits and are easy. There's no sex in my writing, though. :)

I'm either going insane or there's something in my house.

I haven't slept in almost 24 hours: yesterday a fucking garbage truck woke me up in the middle of the night and my useless ass brain decided that it meant no more sleep for me.
I spent the whole day struggling to stay awake, a few hours ago I got in bed but my brain, ever the useless nigger, decided that I don't actually need rest after all!
I slept 3 hours in the past 3 days, PLEASE brain can I get some fucking rest??
I decided to try and get some writing done (what the fuck else am I going to do) but then I started hearing something fucked up... Every noise since like an hour ago also sounds like a footstep.
>apartment creaking
>footstep
>neighbour coughing
>footstep
>car outside
>footstep
loud enough to be heard over the noise but low enough that made me question if it was true.
Surely it's my tired ass backstabbing brain trying to spook me because I deserve to suffer? I put on my shoes to go check outside my door but as I stomped towards it I heard them clearly. It's footsteps alright. Getting louder as I got closer.
I was going to throw the door open but I didn't. I froze. I am standing right next to it, listening.
I swear I can hear breathing over my own. It doesn't sound exactly like mine. It's ragged and raspy, but it only "plays" when I exhale, like a sound effect layered over my own.
I'm typing this on my phone, I don't know what the fuck to do. It's just my brain, right?
There isn't a thing outside my door, it's just my retarded brain trying to scare me, right?
A cat just meowed outside and this time instead of a footstep it sounded like something touching the handle.
There's nothing within reach that I could use as a weapon or to block the door. The only thing I can think of is throwing my weight against it and pray... I only have a few minutes until the garbage truck comes by again.

>>24627961
what kind of retarded opinion is this

I like clumsy characters who are ditzy (both sexes), but I can understand why many people hate them since a lot of writers overdo it. What is the balance for this character trait?

>>24627927
This thread is for writers... at least it's supposed to be

>>24628106
Make this a bit longer and you can post it on r/nosleep

How far are you in your work in progress?

>>24627344
me?

>>24626991
i haven't posted on the that general but i will. thanks for the suggestion

>>24628283
>me?
no

>>24626991

One against uneven footing deserves to grovel on the ground.

Any tips for fictionalizing my biography and opinions? I blogpost on 4chan all day in which I bitch and whine. Some of my posts are okay, because bitching and whining is interesting.

My question is what kind of genre this is? Will people read my rants and complaints?

>>24628143
there should be an obvious reason why these fuckups are still on the team
>>24628355
do better than “this autobiography is fictional because in this, I have a flamethrower”
>because bitching and whining is interesting
it depends
seems easy to confuse “interesting to other people” with “cathartic”

>>24628355
Sounds like "Notes From Underground" by Dostoevsky. I think the genre is called "confessional".

>>24628355
>Will people read my rants and complaints?
it worked for BAP

>>24628283
Was this title inspired by the excellent program Between Two Ferns?

>>24628415
>it depends
I am a scared shitless but I'll post excerpts.

>>24628419
>Confessional
Yeah that's it.
Knausgard became popular for writing My Struggle so maybe there is some market for it. I am not as good of a writer. He polished his shit for decades.

>>24628450
BAP is too romantic but I get what you mean.

Why does AI hate artistic prose?

>>24618872 >>24618876 >>24619086
please elaborate. I've wondered for years if slop was just YA, or just webnovels, or just anything without enough description. I need to know the true nature of slop. It's made me stop writing for want of finding the true nature of cringe, edge, slop, all these terms. Are things just doomed to fall into one of the three categories after 20 years? Darkly Dreaming Dexter, Red Dragon, both successful but criticized for being edgy. Will I just end up being the same inevitably?

>"Comfy"'50,000 word book is already at 50,000 words
>The midway point is probably somewhere between 75,000 and 90,000 words
>The full novel will likely be 160,000 words
>If I wasn't a hack writer, it would probably be 250,000+ easily.
Guess I'm locking in boys.

>>24628564
THE RECIPE FOR SLOP IS ONE PART COWARDICE TO TWO PARTS INSINCERITY. WRITE WITH PURITY OF HEART TEMPERED BY EXACTITUDE OF VISION AND YOU WILL NOT PRODUCE SLOP. ONE CAN DETECT WHEN AN AUTHOR DOES NOT BELIEVE THE WORDS THEY WRITE. FINAL POINT: ABANDON PLACING YOURSELF BENEATH THE TYRANNY OF SUCH TERMS AT "SLOP", "EDGE", ETC. THEY MEAN NOTHING. DO NOT IMBUE THEM WITH POWER ABOVE WHAT YOU WIELD. THE SEVENTY-FIRST AMENDMENT: THOU SHALL NOT MAKE WORDS YOUR TYRANT.

first book
>33k
second book
>60k
third book
>60k
fourth book
>44k
fifth book looking like 50k and the 6th I have no idea.

I cant imagine writing a 160k+ fantasy novel unless I combine some of the books.

Does this sound ok so far?

Ned was put into the care of the state by his parents who decided they wanted to spend their days having loose sex and getting high instead of raising a kid. Throughout his childhood at a federally operated US orphanage he had been inundated with state propaganda about how humanity’s future lies in the stars and all children should grow up to be astronauts or scientists or engineers. Ned attempted exactly this learning as much as he could about physics and chemistry and engineering and rocket science in the hope of one day becoming a leader in the effort to expand civilization into space. However, he would soon find out that his chances of becoming an important rocket scientist were as high as his chances of ever being adopted. Upon reaching adulthood, he found himself competing with many other people for the same positions as him. All studying to be engineers and physicists and astronomers from birth. Despite doing all he could and studying as hard as he could for as long as he could, he couldn’t measure up to the naturally more gifted people and all the desirable roles had been taken up by those talented few… and their friends.

>>24629324
PERFECTLY READABLE, OTHER THAN THE FINAL "NATURALLY MORE GIFTED" WHICH I THINK SHOULD READ "MORE NATURALLY GIFTED". BUT THAT IS SIMPLY PEDANTIC. I LONGED FOR MORE "ANCHORS" IN THE TEXT BEYOND THE BARE EXPOSITORY — WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE ORPHANAGE, A PARTICULAR SMELL, A QUIRK, SOMETHING ONLY SOMEONE WHO WAS THERE WOULD NOW — SOME MARK OF YOU IN THE TEXT. BUT I LIKE IT.

>>24628457
nah, though it came to mind. today I know that "between two X" is a trope, but I still found it intriguing because between two valleys is necessarily a hill, just like the more common "between two hills" is a valley.

>>24628283
Enthralling premise. At all inspired by The Crossing ? I believe it is Cmac's finest book.

>>24628283
>gluten-free
>no preservatives
At least you're honest with your consumer that masticating your work would be the most pleasant consumption method.

>>24629179
Many 160K+ word novel writers are actually writing what should by all rights be a series.

>>24628504
If your prose is so bad that even an LLM can't praise it, the problem might be you

>>24629340
>>24629324
Is this the blurb of the story?

>>24628564
Slop = anything I don't like

>>24629324
Sounds autobiographical

>>24629439
A blurb of the beginning.

Mila woke up smelling like last night’s ghost. In her mouth some manifestation of unholy ash. She must have had twenty rollies; she must have had twelve shots. In her belly a lingering sense that something malevolent had occurred. On the wall above her head, a note that reads: “A lie is sweet in the beginning, and bitter in the end.”
In the bathroom mirror her face was a pale distortion. In the corner perched a familiar dark presence. She clapped her hands and felt it leave. As she sat she looked at her phone and saw a parasitical procession of child influencers and household spells and a murdered six-year-old girl. An affirmation from someone she used to know; in the video her face is aglow in the evening light and her voice is brittle: “I live from my highest excitement. I turn my fear into joy.”
A bell. A message from an unsaved number: “mornin still keen for breakfast.”
She showered and new smells came up and were driven away. In the heat was something pure. She drank from the tap until she felt sick and had to stop. She brushed her teeth with violence and spat out black toothpaste and blood. She put on a cotton shirt, double stitched, many shades of violet.

Please give your thoughts & criques.

>>24627990
Actually, while my skill in combining words has improved, rereading stuff from years ago tells me I've had a long-time knack for telling stories.

>>24629472
I like it. Reminds me of the "pretty princess points" wojak memes people were making a ton of ages ago. They used to always include little notes with adages like that one about lies.

>>24627513
>posted a zero-commitment call for beta readers 4 (four) days ago
>only 2 (two) out of the 3 (three) other anons who still post in this general have emailed me

>>24629340
the em dashes aren’t having their heights adjusted for being set among all caps and it’s triggering me

>>24629458
Is that a good thing?

>>24629564
Depends.
>pros
True stories tend to attract increased attention.
Sharing the truth of one's own existence is a brave move and demonstrates great openness (generally a desirable trait for artists).

>cons
Some writers prefer to remain impersonal in their work due to privacy concerns.
If it's not actually autobiographical the plain, stark way you report the event might bore some drama-minded readers.

>>24629417
Thanks! I haven't read that one, though I have blood meridian and suttree. Funnily enough, a wainwright where I was staying at told me that the title was quintessentially western.

>>24629429
Yes, I'd rather have you chewing over it before swallowing it per usual, lest I have to introduce the book with a choking hazard as well.

>>24629760
>wainwright
Are you posting from 1860 ? From within a shamanistic dream terminal ?
+ sometime in the future I highly recommend the Crossing. When your work is done. The first half also features a wolf, and the descriptions of its movements and its vitality are among the most powerful I've ever read.

>>24627513
Not even in the web novel thread have I had a single comment on my works

>>24629821
Nah man ! just live in new mexico. The hotel where No country for old men was shot at is very near where I live (Las Vegas, NM), and there are plenty of people who want to relive the old west like a perpetual renaissance fair :)

thanks for the recommend!

>>24629179
160k novels are generally filled with fluff nobody cares about except self inserters.

>>24629472
Still looking for critique. Sorry to beg.

>>24629505
Thank you, mwah.

>>24629179
The longest book I've written was 180k words and even that was kinda rushed.

>>24629893
I was going to read it but I saw you already got a reply
I only take pity on the needful

>>24629472
Too edgy for me.

>>24629913
That's fair anon.

>>24629921
That's perfectly understandable.

>>24629472
It's sort of interesting, but straying into the style over substance territory. There are lines and word choices that just make no sense, hover apart, and don't carry the narrative. Every sentence being short and punchy may work for a few paragraphs, but feels like it'd get tiresome in a longer text. One tense error. Anyway, it's among the rare excerpts in these threads that seem to have some kind of artistic vision behind it, so props for that.

Next you'll tell me it was AI-generated and I'll never come to these threads again.

>>24629953
i hope the imperfection relates it was human made anon, thank you for your thoughts. i really appreciate it.

(translated with deepseek)
the mythic dream that i remember my dear friend is very vivid. and this is such dream that i might remember for months!
or perhaps it will treasure in my mind with such safekeeping that this dream may substitute one of those uninteresting dull unpleasant unimpressing childhood memory ...the petty memories that always vexes our face! makes us hop if we walk in a footpath or even roll in bed and bite and swallow our pillow till our throat wants to puke cuz of minds own refusal.
oh, but i must describe and paint this dream to my reader's imagination ;unless ofcrs my Fleeting specters have already got past,
lured by some unoriginal clumsily attempted satirical post or perhaps called "meme" that only caught his eye cuz its text was
posted along with a sexy 2d japanese style animated young nymphet figure !

Anyway, you must imagine this:

I found myself under a starry night (the kind van Gogh himself might have painted) Countless crescent moons (few were full yellow!)bathed the sky in an eerie glow,
their light spilling through the stained glass of a towering Germanic Gothic cathedral, where I lay trapped
or perhaps merely resting in solitude.Strange, though I’ve never set foot in such a church, not even once!
(Being pagan-born, I’ve always kept my distance from holy places.) Yet my mind conjured it with such terrifying precision
every vaulted arch, every shadowed pew as if it truly stood in some forgotten European city… or even Vatican itself!
And there I was inside, barely clothed, awaiting some unseen entity. Was I the night’s sacrifice? Or just bait? Who could say?
Then from the rose window it descended. First crawling along the inner walls like a grudge, then gliding toward me a Cupid!! It seized my arms
and plunged an arrow into my flesh. I lashed out, grabbing at air until my fingers finally closed around its ankle.
In a blind rage, I swung it, trying to smash its tiny body against the marble floor! We tumbled in a chaotic brawl, and only then did I notice them
a gallery of unfamiliar faces watching us, some twisted in sorrow, others grinning with delight. Their expressions were grotesque,
as if plucked from some macabre painting. but the walls and everything surrounding me besides the floor, some pre-raphaelite images,
our mute audience were dark as thick as midnight shadow ! My fury at this pitiful Cupid was absurd ;as if we were ancient enemies.
But in truth? I was its prey, fighting desperately to survive.The dream shattered when it shoved me toward the
window—just as I teetered on the edge of the cathedral’s terrace, moments from plummeting into the void without voicing a scream.
And all this… I dreamed on the morning I was to meet my last week's blind date hah!
and oh golly! it was a success! the date was beautiful and made my day when she agreed to meet again that day's tomorrow and everyday.
think i still won from that cupid ,that stupid cupid fool!!

>>24630065
Very lush, passionate, flammable, and messy non. From which language did you translate ?

>added an idea for an element in my outline
>realize later that if I don't handle this element properly I'm going to fuck my story up
oh fuck I'm going to give myself a headache again
this was supposed to be a fun simple story why am I so inept

>ACCEPTING MAIL-IN SUBMISSIONS ONLY!
wtf

I wrote 4k words yesterday

>>24630562
ok but what did you write about

>>24630562
Nice

>>24628274
It's coming along nicely.

>>24628274
50,666 out of 400,000. Just finished the first draft of a little scene towards the end. Although, to be honest, I've been second-guessing myself a lot recently, not that you asked.

>>24630574
tiddies

I've posted multiple excerpts and never had a good response. Recently, I finish a session and just feel deflated, like I've penned another public embarrassment.

>>24630879
>anime poster
>public embarrassment
checks out

>>24630879
post one right now and I'll respond to it

>>24631247
>>24631247
>>24631247
since our time here is short...

>>24631251
>not at the bottom of the catalog
>not even over bump limit
bro...

>>24631255
Yeah, but I'm about to crash. This thread is so dead since some seething pseuds bullied out the webnovel writers, it sometimes goes dead without a replacement.

>>24631258
STFU FAGGOT

I want to follow the bradbury trio but for writing. Has anyone tried it? One short story, one essay and one poem everyday for a year both reading and writing.