Thread 42397993

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=Aces High 9=

* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjawqStxLy0 *

>Your alarm clock blares and makes you pry your eyelids apart. You feel your pupils contract in the morning light.
>Today was the day, no putting it off any longer. You had to talk to Spitfire if the Wonderbolts were going to stand a chance this season.
>You reach over and shut off the clock, ending the alarm right before you had to hear Soarin' start singing.
>He must never know that you bought his shitty album.
>You stumble out of bed and make your way to your kitchen, deciding that a healthy breakfast of eggs and bacon was the best way to start what could potentially be a painful and annoying day.
>The eggs cook in one pan as the bacon fries on another and you wake up more.
>Eggs were easy enough to get when you had first arrived here, but decent meat might as well be like trying to find the Holy Grail for all the difficulty involved.
>A protein high diet wasn't easy in a land of herbivores. You had to get the meat delivered from the more carnivorous kingdoms after you had started making a name for yourself and had some money in your pocket.
>You had even gotten to the point now where ponies didn't look at you with masked nausea anymore.
>Another perk of fame.
>While you ate, you thought, there wasn't much else you could do in a condo on you lived in.
>Spitfire and you had never been at odds or anything over the course of your tenure as a 'Bolt, but she had also never grandstanded and gotten your head smashed open.
>You sigh. You suppose that you couldn't -totally- blame her for that, it's not like she did it intentionally.
>But still it pissed you off.
>You rub your head behind your ears. It was still a bit sore, but it'd do.

>>42397998
>You keep thinking as you eat.
>Hmmm...Spitfire was nothing if not proud of her accomplishments as a Wonderbolt, and anyone could see that she took her job seriously. She ate, slept, sweat, and lived the Wonderbolts since she took over as captain.
>That pride and that devotion to the team might be your in...
“As good a plan as any...” you say to yourself.
>You clean your damn dishes, you weren't an animal, and make your way into your shower.
>A quick rinse and a brushing of the pearly whites later and you threw on some clothes, pants and a bomber jacket, and got ready to head out.
>Your eyes linger on your pack, set up on it's maintenance stand in the corner for a few moments before you shrug and decide to leave it.
>You weren't bolted to the damn thing, you could go for a walk now and then. And besides, Spitfire was staying at her place in Canterlot during the season.
>Heh. “Bolted”. You were funny sometimes.
>You locked up and started down the road that would take you into the city proper from your residence at The Heights.
>Along the way on the path, you see a young gold colored pegasus practicing his loop de loops in his family's front yard.
“Practicing hard, Thunderstrike?”
>Thunderstrike was your neighbor's kid, and a fan, so you always tried to put on a smile.

>>42397999
>You see his youthful grin grow a mile wide when he sees you and lands. “You bet Mister Anonymous! I'm getting to where I don't even get rutting dizzy when I go upside down no more!”
“Thunder, who in Tartarus taught you to talk like that?”
>The boy's face scrunches. “My uncle, why?”
>Some people...
“Nevermind, seeya 'round, kid.”
>Thunder takes off and flutters next to your head excitedly as you walk past his fence. “Oh! Oh! Are you gonna go talk to the rest of the Wonderbolts!?” he asks.
“Not all of them, but one in particular.”
>You glance over and see the expectation in his eyes.
“The Boss Lady.”
>Thunder gasps. “Spitfire! She's so cool, all the kids at school say that my coat looks like hers!”
>You chuckle as you come to the turn.
“Not far off, kid.”
>You wave back at him as you walk away.
>Thunder waves back. “Don't crash, Mister Anonymous!”
>You turn back and chew on your teeth.
>Cute kid. Really.

>>42398003
>You leave your neighborhood and cut through the center streets of Canterlot on your way to Spitfire's.
>”NEIGHborhood”. You were on a roll today.
>Spitfire lived on the opposite end of the city from you, really close to the Royal Raceway and stunt stadium. She said she liked to live there so she could wake up each morning to watch the sun catch the stadium bleachers.
>Meaning she liked to not have to walk far to train, if you had to wager a guess.
>You knock Shave and a Haircut onto her door and wait for the intercom to buzz.
>”Captain Spitfire's residence, do you have an appointment?” a voice asks.
“It's Anonymous. Can you tell Spitfire I'm here and need to talk to her about something?” you ask holding the button down.
>”Do you have an appointment?” she asks again.
“I'm her race partner, I don't need an appointment. Let me in, please.”
>You could hear the mare on the other end grumble as she buzzed the door onto Spitfire's property and let you in.
>Deal with it lady, there's a pecking order to this stuff.
>The door lets you into a small courtyard in front of Spitfire's white-stoned home with a small pond in front of it.
>The last time you had been to Spitfire's house had ended with you eight sheets to the wind and going home with a model friend of Spit's so your memory on the layout was a bit strained.
>You head into the house and call out.
“Spits? It's Anon. You got a minute?”
>...
>Silence.
>You begin searching your way through some of the rooms in the house, finding a bathroom, two closets, a weight room, and the office of who you assume to be the lady who buzzed you in.
>You don't stay there long, lectures suck.
>Eventually you hear the laughter and cheers of your captain coming through an open window. You peer out and see her flying through some trees in her backyard, seemingly racing some bluejays.
“As if there could be any other place...”
>You mumble to yourself before heading downstairs and towards the race-pony.

>>42398006
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yxthhkub89c

>You walk out onto Spitfire's back porch and stand by her music player near the picnic tables while she clears a tree pulling a turn that would pull your arm out of it's socket.
>Spitefire shoots past a birdhouse and screeches in the air to a halt, pumping her hooves in the air.
>”Aw yeah! Who da bes? I'm da bes! Spitfire's da bes!” she boasts.
“Congrats boss, you beat some birds.”
>Spitfire looks down at you and smiles. “Anny! My favorite monkey.” she flies down and lands in front of you, switching off the music player. “And you know that birds are only one half cat from being some of our best competition. How's the head?” she asks, a bit of concern touching her eyes.
“A bit sore, thanks for asking.”
>She reaches up faster than you can react and rubs the top a bit. “Aw, shoulda known that a spill wouldn't take out the best rookie I've seen in a while.”
>Jesus that was fast. You were in shock at how fast Spitfire could move, let alone race. Her entire body seemed like one lightning bolt ready to strike.
>Did she just say “best rookie”?
>”So what can I do for ya, Rook?”
>You re-muss your hair and rub the back of your neck. This was the hard part...
“Right, I'll come out and say it. The team is getting murdered in these races and if we don't do something, we're gonna get knocked out or someone's gonna get hurt. I've been working on some moves with Soarin' up at the Academy but we can't get them to work.”
>Spitfire grabs an apple and chews as you talk.
“The technicians put us together for a reason, Spits. I don't know what that reason might be but I trust those eggheads up there. I'm asking you to level with me and help me maybe get these co-op moves down so we can actually stand a chance in these upcoming races.”
>Spitfire swallows as you brace.
“Sure, when do you wanna go?”
>Whoawaitwhat.

That last dialogue line should be green
>>42398009

>You cock an eyebrow.
“Wait, that easy?”
>Spitfire tosses her apple core over her shoulder for the birds. “Uh, yeah? It's for the team, right?”
“Uhh...yeah.”
>Spitfire mimics your dope face and snickers. “Then of course I'll help you pull it off, dumb dumb. Gives me something to do here besides work the garden.”
“You got a garden?”
>Spitfire extends a hoof off to the side and directs your view to a well tended and lush garden of fruits, vegetables, and flowers off to the side of the backyard, away from prying eyes and possibly parting guests.
>”Sorta a hobby of mine.”
“I can...tell.”
>You swallow a lump in your throat.
“You're taking this way cooler than I expected, did you hit your head or something?”
>Spitfire rolls her eyes. “Pssssh. You talking about out there in the public? Come on Anny, you been in this game long enough to know what parts of the act the crowd eats up.”
“Act?”
>Spitfire shoots up a few feet into the air and spreads her forelegs out. “It's all for them, Anny! We'rre entertainers, our job is to keep the masses entertained as much as we can for as long as we can. And responsible racers with gardens aint what sells tabloids.”

>>42398010
>You stand staring.
“You're telling me that you've been putting on an -act- all these years?”
>Spitfire lands and rubs her chin. “Maybe not an act so much as...hyperbole.”
>She elbows your ribs. “Ol' Captain Jack's as good a friend of mine as he is anyone elses.”
>Hyperbole may be the biggest word you've ever heard Spitfire say.
>You blink a few times.
“Uh...yeah, I think I get it.”
>You sort of did, anyway.
“So...how about this Sunday? You and me up at the academy? We'll work some drills out.”
>Spitfire winks. “After the weekend block party? It's a date, Anny. You sticking around? I was thinking of throwing a kegger tonight. Gotta give the people what they want, eh?”
“Thanks Spitfire, but I gotta rain check. Working on the pack and don't wanna push the head injury, you know?”
>Spitfire nods and smirks. “If you change your mind and want me to break out the safety helmet, stop by and lemme know. Till then, seeya Sunday, Anny!” Spitfire says as she takes off and flies into the second story window of her home, electronic music thrumming out shortly afterward.
>Yeah...
“Seeeee you Sunday, boss.”
>You head back inside and let yourself out, heading home after the weirdest but most productive and oddly fulfilling meeting you've had with Spitfire in a long time.

=Aces High 10=

-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehJAm6ACO5M -

>You and Spitfire fly just above the clouds over Equestria on your way to the Wonderbolts Academy.
>It's a few hours long flight and the two of you had been talking the entire time, it was actually kind of fun, Spitfire had a ton of questions about Earth and was way cooler than you gave her credit for when she was in her off hours.
>”So they all raced usin' the thing you use?” she asks.
“Kinda, it was more these...well, they were these big engines that were connected to pods behind them with cables, and they raced through the desert with them. When I saw it, I thought it looked like they were trying to drive a rocket with their feet and no eyes.”
>Spitfire laughs a single sharp laugh. “You guys got some weird movies over there, Anny!”
“And I didn't even tell you about the Midichlorians...”
>”The what in the who now?”
>You chuckle and shake your head. “Something I try every day to forget about. I think I see the academy.”
>Since the last time you'd been at the Academy, the fall semester had started for new recruits. Dozens of fliers fly around the outside of the grounds, either in new classes and learning the ropes or taking tours with eager parents before they send their child off to school.
>Wait till they see the mess hall food...
“Do we want to make an entrance or are we gonna be subtle about this?” you ask your wingman.
>Spitfire “tch”'s “What do you think, Anny?” she says before shooting off towards the densest cluster of fliers. You follow right after.
>”Hey there!” “Nice ta meetcha!” “It only gets cooler from here, kids!”
“Hi, nice to meet you.” “You can call my Anonymous.” “Welcome to the Wonderbolts Academy!”
>Public relations never stopped for a Wonderbolt, even in transit to places.
>Once you got past the masses, you both bee-lined to the elite locker rooms.

>>42398017
>You had flown in in your flight jacket but for aerial maneuvers training, it behooved you to switch to your flight suit.
>You were the only one in the locker room at this hour considering it was the start of the semester and you can only assume that Spitfire was in the same situation over on the mares side judging by the fact that she left the service door open to keep shooting the shit.
>”So was that spill in Zebrica the worst injury you ever had on the job?” her disembodied voice asks.
“No. And thanks for that, by the way.”
>”I said I was sorry...” she says meekly.
>She did at that, and you'd been in a good enough mood since finding this common ground with Spitfire that you were willing to let it slide.
“My worst injury? Thaaaaat's a toughy...”
>You think back through your career of bumps and bruises.
“Well there was this one time when I was training with 'Dash that I ran into a water tower face first.”
>You can practically hear Spitfire wince. “Not looking where you were going?”
“I was gloating because I was ahead of her, found out I was only ahead because she veered to avoid it three seconds later.”
>”So -that's- why you're such a boyscout, eh?”
“I'm sure it's something to do with it.”
>You begin squeezing your torso into the suit.

>>42398018
>”Rainbow Dash...you mean the Element of Loyalty?” Spitfire asks.
“Very same one.”
>”I've seen her up here, she broke a few academy records when she showed.”
“I'm aware, I've seen the plaques.”
>Talk about awkward sightings.
>”What's the deal with you two?”
>You sigh as you get your arms in.
“It's not a new story. We both went out for the team, I got in, she didn't, she didn't take it well and broke up with me.”
>”That blows. You ever try and patch it up?”
“Would if she'd talk to me.”
>Spitfire whistles and you hear her slap her goggles on. “That sucks Anny, royally. Remind me one day to tell you some of my shit breakup stories.”
>You zip up and put your own goggles on, tugging at your control gloves.
“Let's worry about that after we get these moves down. Are you ready?”
>”I've been ready since you made me apologize again. Let's go!”

>>42398020
>You pull up hard and clench your fists to get some boost from your pack, coming up right in front of Spitfire's face and requiring her to flap back.
>”Whoa! Easy Anny!” she calls out, clearly annoyed.
“Sorry! I was trying to catch that slipstream you made!”
>Spitfire's shoulders slump a bit. “-I- was trying to go for your contrails.”
>You drag your palm down your face.
“Goddamit.”
>Spitfire sighs and flaps up to where you're hovering. “Come on, let's land and see what the techies gotta say.”
“Got it, on your left.”
>You fall in behind Spitfire as she flies over to where Bunsen Burner is messing with his instruments.
>”Gimme some good news, man.”
>Bunsen Burner taps his anemometer and writes some things down. “You and Anonymous were going an average of 80% your normal speed!” he announces.
>Spitfire releases an utterly disgusted sigh and sits on the bench nearby.
“Hey, at least it's better than Soarin', that was barely over half.”
>”Two thirds!” Bunsen announces.
“What he said.”
>Spitfire sighs and rests her head on her hooves still. “Two thirds or 99%, it's not our best, and that's what we need for the next race.”
>You sit down next to her.
“Who's our next race against?”
>”Buncha punk-ass dragons who cobbled together and made a crew. They may not be the smartest, but -damned- if dragons aren't fast.”
“Mmm...is it gonna be that bad, you think?”
>Bunsen pushes his glasses up. “A margin of error is natural in these early stages!”
>”We need to pull something out of our asses if we're gonna pull off a win against those speedsters.” she laments.
>Spitfire waves her hoof. “Anny and I are gonna take five, Bunny. Go get yourself something to eat.”
>Bunsen nods and trots off. As soon as he's out of sight, Spitfire rolls off the bench and lays flat on her back on the ground.

>>42398023
“Uhh...”
>You sit down on the grass next to her.
“Are you okay?”
>”If you could race anywhere, where'd you wanna go?”
>You blink a few times while that goes through your head.
“Hello non sequiter fairy, how are you?”
>”I mean it, anywhere in the world.” Spitfire says, looking at you through the bottoms of her eyes.
>You lean back a bit.
“Well...I've always liked the water, so maybe someplace near that?”
>”Like a beach or somethin'?”
>You shake your head.
“Not like a beach, like -over- the water. Something about riding over all that blue as fast as I can is cool.”
>Spitfire nods. “I'd wanna race through a volcano.”
>You cock an eyebrow.
“Are you serious?”
>”Hell yeah!” Spitfire says, pointing up at the clouds. “You know how much of my life has been spent lookin' down at those big wads of marshmallow? Lemme see a course where everything's goin' to Tatarus at least -once- before I kick it.”
“Racing like that'll make you kick it a bit sooner than expected, boss.”
>Spitfire smirks. “Pffft. Come on Anny, you know Wonderbolts don't die.”
>You wish you could have her level of confidence. You knew you were good, but Spitfire had a way of being confident enough to make everyone around her follow suit, you just couldn't help it.”
“Oh I didn't know immortality came with this gig.”
>”Only if you're one of the aces, Anny. 'Bolts haven't lost an ace of ours in five hundred years.” she says, rather proud of herself.
>Yeah...

>>42398026
“...Any of them going up against dragons?”
>Spitfire frowns. “One or two, but they came out alright.”
“I dunno. Aren't dragons to proud to lose? Won't they torch half the countryside if we beat them?”
>Spitfire's smile returns quickly to her face and she slicks back her mane. “Well then the RAF will just have to take care of it.”
>You frown, unamused.
“Spit's, we're the head of the RAF.”
>”Exactly! And 'Bolt Aces can't die, we're golden!” she says.
>You sigh and shake your head.
“Maybe I'm overthinking it...”
>”Would it be the first time?”
“Heeeeell no.”
>Spitfire lightly punches your arm. “Then lighten up, dude! We got the best job in the kingdom and we're the best there is at what we do! We'll figure something out.”
>You look at her in disbelief. “Something'll just...come to us?”
>Spitfire sits up and taps your forehead. “Anny, we're not the best because we're the fastest or the ones with the biggest wings or the ones who put rockets on our backs, we're the best because of our instincts.”
>She smirks. “And there isn't a place or time out instincts are most pure than in the middle of a race!”
>You...guess that made sense.
“I guess that makes sense.”
>Spitfire pumps her hoof. “Right on! Now follow me, let's see if we can slipstream this time!”
>With that, Spitfire shoots up into the air.
“Right behind you, boss.”
>You ignite your pack and take after her, seeing if these instincts could pull something off for the two of you before these dragons pummeled your team.

Two today because I've been up to my eyeballs playing Abiotic Factor and got my rhythm thrown off, I think.

>Go to being Anonymous in Equestria
>But it's not at all like your Isekai aminey shows
>They're waiting for you already infact
>Aware of the anomaly that sometimes sends humans and other species to their world
>Already have a segregated town for all humans, built away from ponies
>That's where you have to live as one of the Anonymouseses in Equestria
>Ponies being super big on harmony and friendship would just assume that all humans would want to live together and get along
Bro that would suck...

>>42398064
>>Ponies being super big on harmony and friendship would just assume that all humans would want to live together and get along
that's sounds like a recipe for
>Day World War in Equestria

>>42398064
Isn't that just /mlp/ or would we have to deal with normies.

>>42398202
>Isn't that just /mlp/?
Yeah, like he said, it would suck.

Do you think I'd be hanging around here if I had actual ponies and dragons and stuff to hang around with?

>>42398064
Every schlub who'd end up in Equestria would be a social retard, so it makes sense to keep us apart.

>>42398439
>”Welcome to the Gay Bathhouse”

>>42398605
Kek

>>42398100
What happens if a bunch of normies are their and they try to lane up Equestria like earth?

>>42398064
Depends on who comes with me

>>42398028
Thanks family

>Be anon
>Go to horse land
>No beds because horses can sleep standing up

>>42399731
>Anon and his dad/co-worker/landlord/roommate in Equestria
HILARITY AND HIJINKS ENSUE IN THIS BRAND NEW BUDDY COMEDY

>>42400522
>the medical ponies that had been assigned to observe you and watch for any problems your alien physiology might have are concerned
>during a series of routine questions, you mentioned difficulty with sleeping without a proper bed your size you could stretch out on
>their confusion turned to worry when some probing revealed that you didn't sleep upright to any degree at all, not even kneeling
>they won't come out and say it, but they fear you've suffered neurological damage since arriving

>>42400522
But the series has beds from the start. It would only be unusual in the size of the thing.

>EXCLUSIVE: Twilight Sparkle commissions bed large enough for a dozen ponies!
>What other than an alicorn could need such a bed?
>Has all this "Tuna" speculation been true? Will we see the returned princess reveal a relationship with Celestia's prize student?

>>42400954
All for show

>>42400724
>they won't come out and say it, but they fear you've suffered neurological damage since arriving

>"I mean kinda but that's a whole other thing."

>>42400954
The big bed is for her students, teacher always lets them sleep there

>>42401520
Average anon is?

>>42397993 (OP)
nursie

>>42397993 (OP)
I suppose you’ll just have to cut off my testicles then

>>42402271
>”Nurse, get the comically tiny scissors.”

>Be anon in Horselandia
>Horses have no bathroom and will just shit wherever

>>42400550
Standard sperg anon and his boomer dad who’s good at socializing has a comedic appeal

>>42403128
Your fetish is rejected for being terrible

>>42403755
t. Never been around horses.
Disgusting animals.

>>42403128
Fun fact: it's very easy to housetrain a horse, people who've done it say it was even easier than with their dogs

>>42400550
>>42403731
>"Whoa, hey, ain't dis dat cartoon show for little girls? How da hell'd we get here?"
"Uh... I dunno, pops. Whaddya askin' me for?"
>You tried to contain your spaghettii
>"Are you one o' dem gays? I seen dat pony shirt you thought you was hidin'. So, what, when dat bus hit my car you brung us here wit da power o' gayness? Wit your fairy magic, tinkerbell?"
"Come on, I ain't gay! I swear!"
>"Izzat right? Den how come I never seen you even talk to a girl, huh? Your mother worries about you! Three years in college and you ain't got a girlfriend! You too busy watchin' cartoons?"
>the answer was yes, but you couldn't tell him that!

>>42404520
Why are they from jersey

>>42404876
Why aren't you?
I dunno, I thought of Archie Bunker for some reason and then he just started talking like that

>>42404882
>Why aren't you?
Fortune I don't deserve.

>>42405038
TBF there are jeetpones, but it should be obvious that they are foreign to most of Equestria

>>42405361
His coat is the color of poo

>[Deleted]
brb gonna post the milkmare

Yesterday's match is still on my mind. Are there any greens with this guy instead of Anon? He's the more lore accurate version of Anon anyways.

>>42405622
What was it?

>>42406019
Who??

>>42406303
Check the archives

>>42406703
I’m out of house

>>42406653
>Rape

>>42405649
When?

>>42408234
Milk o clock

>>42407782
Do not ship anon with ocs

>>42409026
>ocs

>>42409048
Where is this sluts hat

>>42409048
Fucking WHO????

>>42409576
You need to update your marecyclopedia

=Aces High 11=

>Apalcalacia was a temperate city.
>Located outside Equestria’s official boarders at the southern tip of the the Tramplevanian Alps where the land met the water, it had –just- the right mix of mountain cold and waterfront humidity to make it feel like icicles were forming in your nostrils when you took a deep breath.
>So perfect weather to be bracing wind chill in, obviously.
>The event coordinators need to have their heads examined. At least they were able to get you heat trapping flight suits.
>You pull your suit off your lower back and let it slap back, re-adjusting to a more comfortable position.
“Fancy, I think my suit’s too small.”
>Fancypants doesn’t turn to face you as he draws notes on the whiteboard with the race’s route on it. “Every suit was custom made to your measurements, Anonymous. Unless you’ve put on weight since the last time we did that, it should fit perfectly.”
>Smart ass…
“I also think the paint might be still wet on these…”
>You’d caught some yellow on your hands.
>Fancypants sets his marker down and turns around. “Yes, these were a bit of a rush job. Please, sit.”
>You and the rest of the team sit down, you’ve got Soarin’ and Spitfire on your flanks.
>”Good morning team, I hope you all slept well on the way over here.” Fancy starts with a smile.
>”We slept like foals.” Spitfire says. She winks to Fancy afterwards. “I checked.”
>”Creeeeeepy…” Fire Streak teases.
>Fancy chuckles and waves a hoof. “Well, voyeurism aside, let’s go over today’s race…”

>>42409980
>”We’re all ears, Fancy.” Soarin’ says.
>Fancypants levitates up a photo. In the photo are six young-ish looking, you could never tell with them, dragonlings, all posing to look tough. “This is our opponent, The Desolators.”
“How grandiose…”
>”Indeed. They say they hail from the uncharted north, near the landmass closest to the Hooviet Union. They caught the eye of a recruiter up there and…well, he brought them down here.”
>”But why did they even –come-?” Misty asks. “As far as I remember, dragons value their privacy highly.”
>Spitfire chimes in. “Those kids? It’s the three G’s. Glory, then gold, then girls. Dragons’re competitive by nature, I’m amazed it’s taken this long to see a few of ‘em in the league.”
>”Spitfire is correct.” Fancy says.
“Right…what’s the plan then, Fancy?”
>Fancypants levitates a pointer up and highlights the starting position and starts tracing it along the generally simple path, no big worries save a few dead end turns. “The race is a three lap race through the mountains and outer-lying cave systems. Each tag team will have their times added together and averaged and the best time wins.” Fancy shoot Spitfire a look. “So stay together.”
>Spitfire rubs the back of her head while Fancy continues. “You’ll be allowed one pit-stop for either refuel or rehydration where the clock will be stopped each, but after that they’ll keep the clocks running, so use it wisely.”
“Anything else, boss?”
>Fancypant’s face goes grim. “Yes…dragons are a violent and competitive race and the watcher balloons won’t be able to see you everywhere. Don’t expect them to play entirely fair when pry eyes are blocked.”
>Greeeeeaaaat…

>>42409984
>A quick huddle for luck and you’re out the door into the stadium.
>”AND HERE THEY ARE, YOUR WONDERBOLTS!” the announcer screams.
>You engage press mode and wave to the gathered crowd. The stadium was built especially for this race tour and was packed full of spectators.
>”It’s like the Equestria Games out here…” Fleetfoot says.
>”Easy Fleets, just be cool.” Spitfire responds.
>You wave and cheer and throw a few winks to some of the mares in the audience.
>The dragons in the center of the field were doing the same, but with far more gusto. They’d single out spectators to high five and egg entire sections on for more, they were eating this praise up.
“Looks like you were right about these kids, Spits.” you say.
>”Go around the world as much as I have Anny, and you learn a few things.”
>The teams take their positions at the starting line as the announcer tells the six lap, one pit-stop rule to the audience.
>Next to your team, The Desolators scoff and jeer. “Check it out, man. The ponies got a pink monkey to help them.”
>The other one snickers. “So lame…”
“Hey.”
>They both look over to you over the backs of the others.
“When you two are done sucking on my exhaust trails, tell your mom’s if they can mail me back my clothes. I think I left them on the floors of their caves.”
>Next to you, Soarin winces in mock pain at the burn. The dragons however, gnash their teeth.
>”Why I oughta-“
>The countdown clock chimes on with a “Ding!” and signals the last ten seconds before the race starts.
>A hush of anticipation falls over the stadium.
>”On your marks…” the announcer says.

>>42409993
-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azCq5qQodU8 -
>Your muscles tense as the light counts down.
>In a flash, it turns green.
>”GO!” the announcer shouts.
>And you do, you and the other racers leap off your starting positions to the roar of the crowd like bullets coming out of a gun.
>You clench your fists and throw your arms back, accelerating with the pack and watching for the openings to present themselves.
>Right…there!
>One of the dragons at the front of the pack was going high.
“Spitfire! Low ball on the right!”
>You arc your body down and to the right and dip altitude until you’re practically skimming the ground.
>”Nice eye, Anny!” Spitfire shouts, joining you in your descent.
>You gradually pull closer to the boy, riding his slipstream while avoiding the gusts of wind from his wings. If you can get a bit closer, you-
>Another wing, an orange feathered one, flaps in your peripheral vision.
“Gah!”
>Your reprise in turn almost causes Spitfire to spin out and worse, alerts the dragon. He looks down at you, then up at the press balloon watching the race, then scoffs and rolls out of your path.
>Shit, there went that.
>”Pull it back together, Anny! We still got this!” Spitfire shouts while pulling away from you.
>Good going Anonymous.
>”In there Anny, let’s go!”
>The pack of you rounds the bend sharp and then rockets down the track to the next bend in the opposite direction. First leg of the race was twists and turns until you reached-
>The dragon directly in front of you rounded the corner and went splat against a pillared outcropping of rocks from the side of the canyon wall.
>Until you reached Pigsticker Pass.
>”Break, Anny!”
>You and Spitfire break formation and weave through the rocky outcroppings. Grunts of pain and swears of frustration behind you indicate that the trap caught a few of your opponents.
“Looks like that race in Zebrica came in handy after all!” you shout, the two of you pulling ahead.

>>42409997
>You dance through the rocks and close in on the dragon in the lead as he clears the obstacle. The boy looks back on you as he enters into the section of the valley with those rocky outcroppings reaching over the lip and casting everything below them into shadow.
>As well as blocking the view of the balloons.
>The dragon whistles and pulls ahead just as someone roars behind you. Another dragon, a purple one, flies up and starts clawing at your underside.
>You bring your arms up to cover your face instinctively.
“Gah-! Wha- Little fucker!”
>You feel yourself slowing down trying to fend him off until you both get bapped by a yellow wing.
>”Back off, squirt!” Spitfire shouts.
>The dragon shakes his head, stunned, and gives you just enough time to kick him in the jaw to send him spiraling back.
>As you recover, two more dragons speed ahead of you.
“Dammit!”
>”Let’s kick it into high gear, Annie!” Spitfire shouts, rocketing after them.

>>42410018
>The remainder of the first lap took you through two more locals, a cave full of fruit bats and a currently dormant geyser field.
>Through both paths, the young dragons remained far ahead of you.
>Spitfire grits her teeth ahead of you and begins reeling the teens in, you clench your fists and do your best to keep up with her.
>The dragons cross the starting line in quick succession, you and Spitfire right behind them.
>You risk a look back to glance at your times on the scoreboard. Whatever it said, all you saw was “Not fast enough”.
“Spits! Go low in the canyon! We’ll dodge the rocks and let them deal with the big ones!”
>Spitfire gestures the affirmative with her hoof and cuts around the bend. The dragons ahead of you are already weaving through the rocks as you and Spitfire rapidly drop altitude.
>At the bottom of the canyon there were less rocky outcroppings, but space was tight. Right at home for a pair of stunt fliers.
>Your gamble pays off, you and Spitfire have to slow down less to avoid collisions than the dragons and you escape the forest of rocks within spitting distance of them.
>”Ha! We got ‘em now!” Spitfire exclaims as the five of you shoot into the fruitbat cave.
>Confectionary bats stream out of the deeper portions of the cave in droves, necessitating some quick maneuvering.

>>42410020
>The lead red dragon signaled for one of his wingmen to fly off. The young dragon arced out of his path and shot back towards you, grabbing and snapping off a stalactite on his way as a makeshift club.
>”Shit!”
“Split on my mark and get ahead of me!”
>The dragon comes closer and closer, raising his weapon high to strike as more bats fly out.
“Now!” you shout once he’s a few feet away.
>Spitfire pulls to the side hard and gets out of the way while you curve and bend your body to direct yourself how you want.
>You arc your nose over the incoming dragon like a dolphin leaping out of the water. The dragon swings and hits empty air as fruitbats swarm around him.
>You rotate yourself around and lift your legs to your chest, you’d only ever done this trick once.
>The dragon looks at you in surprise as you clench your fists, fingers in, and send a massive gout of exhaust flame and heat towards him.
>You rocket forward as the drake tries to pat the fire on him out, the fruitbats around him now avoiding their unfortunately singed brethren and the spinning ball of fire in their midst.
>”Haha! Nice one, Anny!” Spitfire shouts as you gain on her.
“It was a trick Soarin’ thought up.” You say.
>”Come on, two more to go!” Spitfire says before beating her wings and going ahead.
>You enter into the geyser field and notice the puddles rippling as the ground shakes.
“Oh hell, that can’t be good…”
>”Eyes up Anny! Deal with that later! We’re gaining on ‘em!”
>You weren’t entirely sure, but you zipped after Spitfire anyway.

>>42410024
>You and Spitfire try to gain on the drakes, but they reach the lap finish line ahead of you.
>The two of them land at their tented area and begin throwing back gems by the fistful.
>Damn…this –could- be your chance but with how they’ve been flying…
“Spits! Pit stop! Let’s go!”
>Spitfire looks back to you with gritted teeth. “Are you nuts!? Now’s our chance!”
“Spits just listen to me! We gotta land and talk! Now!”
>Spitfire groans and peels off towards your pit area, you follow.
>”It appears both teams leaders are taking their one allotted time out.” The announcer says.
>Once you get on the ground, you wave your pack techs over to start refueling you.
>Spitfire trots over, using the time to shake her wings out. “What’s up, Anonymous? What’s so important that we had to stop the race?”
>You kneel down to her level and talk bluntly.
“You and me need to do our team dynamic thing. Now.”
>Spitfire cocks an eyebrow. “Aint this not the most opportune time to be experimenting?”
“It’s either that or we lose the race, Spitfire. Our times aren’t good enough to beat theirs unless we pull off some miracle.”
>Spitfire bits her lip and looks up at the scoreboard. Behind her, the dragon team takes off again.
>”Crap, I hate it when you eggheads are right.”
>Your techs pat your shoulder. “All good, sir!” You ignore them.
“We need to do this now. You take lead and I’ll follow, we’ll try a slipstream okay?”
>Spitfire nods. “Let’s hit it!”

>>42410032
>You and Spitfire run down the track and shoot off into the air. You organize yourself so that you’re right behind her, riding through the air that she breaks a her powerful wings carry her forward.
>”How do you wanna play this!?” she shouts back.
“Get me close! I got a plan!”
>The two of you zip through the rock outcroppings and through the fruitbat cave with little trouble.
>Although you –did- smell roasted fruit on the way.
>Once you clear the cave, your worst fears are realized. The geyser fields are erupting.
>White hot bursts of steam and water shoot up dozens of feet into the air right in your flightpath.
>Enough to cook you in this fancy suit if you weren’t careful.
>”I see them! They’re about a third of the way through the field!”
“Get us close!”
>Spitfire grits her teeth and squints her eyes as she picks up the pace.
>She hazards a glance down. “We got rumbling, Anny! Follow my instructions if you don’t wanna get cooked!”
“On your six!”
>Spitfire continues forward for a bit befor-“RIGHT!” Spitfire rolls to the right, leaving you a fraction of a second to roll with her and keep your slipstream.
>”LEFT!”
>You both roll left.
>”Sideways!”
>Whu-You have a split second to react as Spitfire flies on her side and slips between two jets of water that shoot up. She rights herself. “This is your opening, Anny! I don’t have it in me with this turn up ahead!”
>You nod. “On your left!”

>>42410036
>You ride the slipstream Spitfire’s been making for just a bit longer before you gun your engines and pull ahead.
>The dragons ahead of you soar side by side as the watch out for any geysers.
“HEY!”
>Their ears both perk up.
“Snot nosed kids!”
>The two of them look back at you and scowl and you swear your hands are bleeding with how hard you’re pushing it. How can dragons be so –fast-?
“You know only one of you can win, right?”
>The two’s eyes go wide and they look at each other blinking.
>Come on you two idiots, you can’t keep this up forever.
>”…I’m winning!” one says, shooting forward.
>”Like hell you are!” the other shouts, grabbing the firsts tail and yanking back.
>Bullseye!
>You race under the two drakes as they squabble in the air and fall behind, Spitfire shoots past them as well from behind a geyser.
>”Ha! Nice going, Anny!”
“Pick it up before they catch on!”
>Spitfire pulls ahead of you as you enter into the final straightaway to the finish line.
>”And crossing the finish line in first and second place is the all-star duo of the Wonderbolts, Spitfire and Anonymous! Their times together almost guarantee a much needed win for this team.”
>You both cross the finish line to the roar of the crowd and the equally loud roar of Fancypants ringing in a win. Your times go up on the board and get averaged out.
“Hah…nice.” You say landing and skidding to a stop.
>Spitfire lands next to you panting, you’re out of breath yourself. “Hah…hah…”
“See…? Toldja it’d work…”

See you some time later this week!

>>42410418
How about take a shower you stinky pete.

>>42410787
he is enticed by what he didn't even know he could do with her

>>42411108
Eat brownies

>>42411554
At least there’s no risk to the fetus

>>42405622
Cute bug

Random idea for a clop green.
>Anon is an everage guy in Equestria, generally well liked and seen in a good light.
>He's helpful, polite, and doesn't like causing trouble.
>One day, through a freak accident, Anon and a mare switch bodies.
(Could be any mare, but probably Twilight or because of Twilight's magic)
>This is when shit hits the fan because it turns out humans have a way higher libido than cute and cuddly ponies do.
>The mare was not prepared for this.
>Anon's baseline horniness, which is easily ignored by him, feels like estrus times ten for the mare, and she immediately feels compelled to indulge in this new desire.
>Anon, in the mares body barely avoids getting raped, (or doesn't) but that doesn't stop the pony in Anon's body.
>Now the mare is on a >rape spree across Ponyville in Anon's body, and no mare is safe.

>>42410038
>two hours later, the dragons are still fighting

>>42413394
They're a primitive and violent race.

>>42413713
I got that joke

>>42412952
I am POSITIVE there are a dozen stories like that back from the olden days. It’s a basic plot everyone already thought of

>>42412952
see >>42414175
I personally remember a FR story where Twilight didn't believe Anon about his dire situation

>>42414175
Yeah there’s your answer >>42412952

>>42414792
That anon looks like he’s 10

>>42415183
It's his shapely hips.

>>42414209
How old was it?

>>42412021
It's an uncomfortable topic that eating too much of a specific thing during pregnancy can pigeonhole a foal's range of potential cutie marks.

>>42415930
4 years
https://ponepaste.org/5973

which two ponies would you like to be in a cuddle sandwich with anon

>>42417376
Cute rascal anon, hopefully Copper Top manages to groom him into a respectable citizen.
>>42417266
~unf~

>>42417376
AMONG US??????

Anybody remember the name of that one green where anon is surviving in the badlands, and some guard pony on an investigation in a desert town to the north gets transported to the area he is in by some magic tornado?

>>42418156
https://ponepaste.org/3967
Parks and Wilderness?

>writing story little by little
>drafting anon/twilight scenes
>constant urge to make things go in the lewd direction due to my own overwhelming urge to have sex with twilight

>>42418884
Jerk off then write it

>>42418392
That was it, thank you <3

>>42418884
I second >>42418990

>>42417868
XD

>>42420208
TWENTY PERCENT
PERCENT
PERCENT
PERCENT
PERCENT
PERCENT

>>42416256
If you want to prove the idea has been done before, you'll have to do better than that.
All that had was the bodyswap.
It did not have Twilight going on a sex rampage in Anon's body, plus it was the opposite in, instead of Anon being the horny one, it's about all the ponies being horny for Anon.
Terrible example. Try again.

>>42420356
Kek

>>42420757
More fetish content needs to be critiqued like this

>>42422398
Who’s Big Guy?

>>42417376
Could actually be a cool green where Kid!Anon ends up in Manehatten Equestria and becomes a bit of a trouble maker.
This is because he's been separated from his family and he also feels isolated as the only human who a lot of other foals think is weird and adults are weary of.
As a result, Anon acts up and gets into mischief all the time, partly because of discontent of his situation, and partially for attention.
Copper Top, being a pony, and thus naturally more compassionate than your run-of-the-mill Earth police officer, cares more about helping others rather than punishment.
That is to say, she knows Anon isn't actually a bad kid, sympathizing with what he must be going through, and so doesn't want to arrest him or put anything on his permanent record.
She's met real criminals and lowlifes, and she can tell Anon isn't one even if he tries to act like it.
Instead, she tries to guide him onto a better path and just be there for him.
This might even eventually lead to her adopting him.
Could be a very wholesome story.

>>42422740
>Ehh, lemme check..
>UHHH HEY- HEY, SHUT UP! Pipe down..
>UHHH is there a Bigai Foru? Ah cripes-,SOMEPONY CHECK THE MARES ROOM FOR A BIGAI FORU.

>>42412952
For some reason, I envision this ending like Small Potatoes, that one X-Files episode where a shapeshifter took over Mulder's life, and then bitched to Mulder about how he was squandering all his good looks and potential.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuIQd4OIM0Y

Fast.

=Aces High 12=

>The Albatross: Race day plus one.
>Day you and Spitfire pretty much saved the team plus one.
>You’re standing in the kitchen buttering some bread. The ceremonies back in Alpalcia wrapped up late last night and Fancy had you flying home before the sun rose up. He probably wanted to do the press circuit to capitalize on your win.
>You reach down to the silver medal around your neck and thumb it. You’d won a lot of medals in your time on the team, but this one felt special. Like it had the most weight.
>And what’s a silver medal without the gold?
>You hear the clopping of hooves and someone singing form the door. “The roof! The roof! The team is on fire!”
>”We don’t need no water let the mother bucker-“
>”Spitfire, I swear to Celestia, if you don’t stop singing then all my interviews over this will be on how I’m shocked you won with the pudge in your belly” Soarin says, walking in the other door.
>Spitfire sticks her head in the front door and glares.
“Burn.” You say chuckling.
>Spitfire walks into the kitchen, a gold medal on her neck. “Yeah yeah, laugh it up, Bigwings.”
“Don’t be mad, Spitfire. Soarin’ can’t control the size of his wings.”
>Spitfire puts her hoof on her forehead and swoons. “Oh dear Soarin’, perhaps one day you’ll have matching medals like ours.”
>Spitfire leans in to you and you instinctively kneel down and mirror her, holding up your medals and giving your best photo-op face for Soarin’.
>”Nice, Anny.”
“It felt right.”
>Soarin’ rolls his eyes. “How you two went from how you were before to now, I’ll never know.”
>”We totally did it.” Spitfire says.
>Silence fills the kitchen.
“…”
>Spitfire elbows you in the gut. “Anny, that’s your cue.”
“You gotta give me some warning before you pull shit like that.”
>Now it’s Spitfire’s turn to roll her eyes. “Uhg.”

>>42423811
>A few hours later after a hearty noon-breakfast, Fancy comes over the intercoms. “Mares and gentlecolts, we are twenty minutes out of Canterlot docks, please gather your belongings so that you can jump ship before we safely dock like you always do.”
>He was a good boss, cheeky.
>You throw your away bag over your shoulder and zip up your flight jacket, heading towards the deck. The rest of the team had already assembled on the deck before you, all conversing as you got closer to the city.
“How’s the view?” you ask, walking over
>”Bright.” Soarin’ says squinting. “Weather controllers must’ve cleared the sky of every bit of shade there is today.”
“It’s not that bad, stop complaining.”
>You look over the side of the deck as you pass over the rivers and fields just outside the side.
“You wanna get together tonight? Hang out?”
>Soarin’ winces. “Sorry, can’t. I have plans tonight.”
“Another night in re-arranging your stamp collection?”
>”I’ll have you know that I have a date tonight.” Soarin’ says matter-of-factly.
“What’s his name?”
>”I saw that coming, buck you.” Soarin’ says.
>You begin to chuckle and Soarin’ joins in. It’s all good, and it’s all in fun.

>>42423817
“Who with?”
>”That Prench model.” Saorin says, wiggling his eyebrows.
“It might help to learn her name first, Cassanova…”
>”You know Soar likes to live dangerously, Anny.” Spitfire says, trotting up behind the two of you. “What’s more dangerous than a pissed off Prenchmare?”
>”An irritated teammate who’s gonna toss you over the edge?”
>Spitfire shakes her hooves. “Oooooooo…spooky.”
>Soarin’ rolls his eyes. “And on that note, I’m out. Sorry we can’t hang out, Anonymous. Maybe another time.”
“Another time, Soar.”
>”Another time what?” Spitfire asks.
“Huh? Oh, I asked him if he wanted to hang out.”
>”You got the afternoon free?”
“After I hang up my medal? Yeah.”
>Spitfire tugs at her strap and secures her saddlebags. “Lead the way.”
“Wait, you’re coming?”
>”Well it’s only fair if you went to my house. Come on, let’s hit it!”
>You shrug and tug at your belt strap before hopping over the edge of the deck.

>>42423818
>You open the door to your place and usher Spitfire inside.
“Welcome to the casa, don’t worry about wiping your hooves.”
>”Never do!” Spitfire says heading inside.
“I can tell. Lemme toss these somewhere and I’ll get you a drink or something.”
>You head down the hallway towards your room, Spitfire calls from the living room. “You got Captain?”
“I got beer.” You call back as you throw your bag on your bed.
>“S’it -good- beer?” she asks.
>You walk back into the living room. “It’s beer.”
>”Hell, I’ll take it.” Spitfire says.
>You grab two bottles out of your fridge and hand her one, both of you cracking it open at the same time.
>Spitfire raises hers. “To first place wins.”
“I’ll drink to that, boss.”
>You throw back your drink, but Spitfire holds. “Ya know you don’t have to call me that when we’re off duty.”
“You’re the boss, boss.”
>She punches you in the shoulder with her hoof and you snigger.
>”Ass.”
“That hurt my feelings, now we’re both in the wrong.”
>Spitfire leans back and sips her beer, shaking her head. “Guess we’re even then…” She looks around the room. At your tv, your shelves of books or pictures or medals, a few statues of races past “Nice place you got here, Anny.”
“You think? Soarin’ said it was too cramped.”
>”The open sky’d be too cramped for bigwings.”
>You snicker again.
“Can I get you anything else? I can start an early dinner, if you’d like.”
>Spitfire titters. “Ooohhh~ wining and dining me eh? Whatcha making?”
“Pasta I guess?”
>Spitfire sets her drink down and kicks back on the couch. “I like mine with cheese on it, chef.”
>You adopt a Prench, snooty accent.
“Qui, right away Madame.”
>Now…where did you put your apron?
>”And put some dang music on, will ya!”

>>42423820
-Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wHU5ocfFsA –

>You spin your fork in your pasta and gather as much of it up before plopping it in your mouth and leaning over your coffee table.
>Spitfire sits next to you and does similar, looking at the splayed out parts.
>Tubes and screws and bolts and plates sat spread all over your coffee table. Spitfire and you had tossed back a few and she’d convinced you to crack open your pack to show her how it works.
>”What’s this bit?” she asks you.
“That’s the controller. See, it’s hooked up to this radio receiver that picks up the signal from my gloves, that’s how I control the pack.”
>Spitfire nods. “Ahuh…keep going.”
“The controller measures the output from the main battery which stores electricity, it feeds through the actuators and powers the thrusters which are the result of ionized Bloodstone.”
>”And that makes the fire?”
“Sort of. Bloodstone releases a lot of energy when you run a current through it, but I have to replace the caps every so often.”
>Spitfire sips her drink and giggles. “Radical…this is one hell of a backpack, Anny. Who built it?”
“I had it when I came here, but an egghead friend of mine in Ponyville helped me fix it up just right.”

>”That was when you were trying to get into the team, yeah?”
“Aw, you know me so well, boss. Yeah, that was before I joined up.”
>Spitfire nods slowly, taking in what you said and sipping. “Time flies, huh? I remember when you joined up?”
>That catches your interest.
“Wait, really?”
>”Hell yeah! Big hairless monkey with a rocket on his back passes the entrance exams and wins some races? How -couldn’t- I remember?”
>You rub the back of your head.
“Honestly, the exams and trials were so grueling that I don’t remember too terribly much about then…just that I was happy to get in.”
>Spitfire cocks and eyebrow and smirks a devious smirk while sloshing her drink. “So…you didn’t hear about Blaze showboating?”
“Uh…no?”
>Spitfire adjusts her seating. “Settle in, rook. It’s time for a story.”

>>42423825
>Evening passes into night when the princesses change the sky and Spitfire continues on.
>”And then Soar goes WHAM! RIGHT INTO THE PRINCESSES BOX!”
>You lose it.
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ooohhh…that sounds like classic Soarin’…”
>”Guy always pays too much attention to the cheerleaders, one of these days it’s gonna bite him in the ass harder than that.”
“Ending up with your ass on top of Princess Luna’s head isn’t the hardest it gets?”
>”If there’s one guy who can top that, it’s gonna be Soarin’.”
“Here here.” You say, downing some of your beer.
>Spitfire looks out your windows and notices the hour. “Sheeeeiiiit…it’s late, my housekeeper’s gonna think I’m dead or something.”
“Is that a common occurrence?”
>Spitfire hops off the couch and shakes out her legs. “I’ve lost three damn housekeepers to them thinking I’m dead and bailing, I am not losing another one!”
>You begin gathering the refuse of your get together and taking it to the kitchen.
“Well good luck out there, I had fun tonight.”
>You return to the living room to find Spitfire smiling back at you. “Yeah…had a good time here Anny, even learned some stuff. Stay cool, eh?”
“Cool as ice, boss.”
>”And stop callin’ me that! Damn!”
>Spitfire chuckles and heads out onto your porch before leaping into the air and flying away.

>>42423828
>Soarin accidentally gives Luna the Batman.

>>42407782
either anon is short, or his legs can decompress to be smaller

>>42424709
Or the mare could just be standing on higher surface relative to what Anon standing on

>>42424800
Wut

>>42424948
This would be nice but no one will do it because no one can give Cadence a character

>>42424229
Need horse to help me sleep

>>42424800
Obongo face

>>42424488
the hwhat.

>>42424948
What's wrong with his face

>>42424948
Man, I wish we got a proper green for this concept.

>>42426987
Be the change you wish to see in the world.

>>42426987
>It's over Anonkun! I have the high ground!
>You underestimare my power!
>Don't fly it!

>>42427129
>My leg!

>>42426987
Listen to >>42427101

>>42424800
I don’t know what this is

>>42428200
New zoomer meme

>>42427101
To be clear, the idea I'd like to see is Anon being adopted by Shining and Cadence and becoming the little brother to Flurry, who develops a brother complex towards Anon, not necessarily sexual, but unhealthy.

>>42428892
>not necessarily sexual, but unhealth
Suuuuuuuuuuure

>>42425487
>>42428200
Deltatroon Chapter 4 + Paddle Pop Anon

>>42428892
I couldn't specifically name you one, but I've seen a couple with that general idea. The issue was that they were simply short, or got propellered early.

=Aces High 13=

>You look into your tall mirror in your room at your back. You’re in a nice pair of pants and a coat jacket as you stand there, modeling for yourself.
>Hmmm…nah, that looks stupid, she’d yell at you for that. Back into the closet you go.
>It’d been a few days back in Canterlot since your last race, mandated team R&R so you didn’t burn out on the road, and tonight you were headed to the club.
>Spitfire had flown by early morning while you were getting your paper to tell you that she’d convinced the owner of Maisonette 9 to let the Wonderbolts in for free if you’d agree to keep his business cards on deck of the Albatross to get consumed during Spitfire’s keggers. He thought that’d be good for business.
>Spitfire said she’d work it out late.
>So like that, your evening was decided. Not like you cared, you didn’t have much else you planned to do except maybe hang out with Soarin’ or see a movie, and the rest of the team would already be there.
>You’d shat, showered and shaved and all that was left to do was find an outfit to wear.
>Which turned out easier said than done since it seemed your entire wardrobe of “clubbing clothes” had been out of season.
>No wonder you’d had a hard time getting laid recently.

>You settle on a short collared shirt and tie that was as close to “business casual” as you could muster when someone at the door knocks Shave and a Haircut.
>You walk out of your room downstairs and quickly open the door.
“We don’t want any.”
>You try to shut the door, but the pony on the other side. “Good, more for me.”
>Spitfire pushes her way through the door wearing what can only be described as biker shorts, pink tank top, glow in the dark ankle bands, and a headband with the team symbol on it pushing her mane up.
>You can’t help but release a single laugh.
“Nice get-up, did you get it from an old man in a time machine, by chance?”
>”Har har. I like this outfit! A friend of mine from my graduating class got me into this stuff way back when.”
>That raises an even bigger question.
“You graduated?”
>She elbows your waist. “Momma Spitfire didn’t raise no dropout. You ready?”
>You grab your keys off your table and straight your tie.
“Ready, let’s not keep the public waiting.”

>>42430355
this needs more farts in it

>>42430355
>You and Spitfire walk to the club sticking to Canterlot’s backstreets until you reach Downtown.
>The line at Maisonette 9 was usually long, but tonight it was out the door, around the corner, and back along the street a block down.
“Damn…that’s nuts.”
>”Yeah, knew it’d be crowded, that’s why I scored us the free entry.”
“What’s the occasion?”
>”Ah, I think Neon Lights is playing tonight.”
>Neon Lights…the DJ who wore the leather jacket.
“You know him?”
>”Know he’s got a small dick.”
>Ha. There’s one for the gossip rags.
>”Hey! Spitfire! Anon!” you both hear.
>You turn towards the club and see Fleetfoot waving at you with the rest of the team, all fabulously dressed.
>At the same time you notice a change in Spitfire…she inhales sharply and her features become sharper and her eyes light up from the calm burn they had to a raging inferno, her calm and serene smile becoming a cocky grin. “Hey hey hey! Who’s ready to get CUH-RAZY tonight!?” she cries, fluttering over to the team.
>You follow along pondering what you just saw, taking your place next to Soarin’ in his navy blue blazer jacket and tie.
“Hey Soar.”
>”Hey Anon.”
“You look like a jiggalo.”
>”You look like a math teacher.”
>Good old Soarin’.

>>42430358
It already has the biggest fart in it. You, the reader
>>42430369
>Spitfire grabs you and Soarin’s wrists and pulls you along. “Soarin I wanna see you actually dancing tonight! None of that lone wolf wallflower crap! And Anny! I –gotta- get you to try this drink called the Celtic Kick? It will knock you on your ASS!”
>You flash a look to Soarin’ in universal-bro-nonspeak-language saying “Where the hell did she get all that energy?”
>It’s apparently not-so-universal as Soarin’ nods towards the opening act poster.
>God dammit Soarin.
>Spitfire clusters the entire team up near the bouncer, a Diamond Dog, and flashes him her award winning smile.
>”Heya! I’m Spitfire, but you prolly knew that. I got an arrangement with the management here that says I can get in? These guys are with me. I know, I know, they look super lame, but I promise I’ll rub off on ‘em and make ‘em shine like a diamond in there! You guys’ll pull in peeps just from us, I swear!”
>The bouncer looks at Spitfire, then you, then the line, then Spitfire again.
>Then he chuckles and lifts the velvet rope.
>”Enjoy time at Marrionette.” He says with a toothy smile.

>>42430372
-Music: https://youtu.be/_7uDB0mOwpA?list=RD_7uDB0mOwpA -
>The club is a hive of pounding beats and writhing bodies on the dance floor. Ponies crowd around tables sipping drinks and talking amongst themselves. Above the dance floor in a private booth, Neon Lights plied his trade on the turntables and made the entire club dance to his tune.
>A few of the attendees looked your way and talked amongst themselves, you offer them a two finger salute.
>Never off-duty entirely.
>”Let’s find us a table and get us some dranks!” Spitfire exclaims.
>Before anyone can utter a word otherwise, she spreads her wings and ushers you all to a bigger table.
“Whoa! Whoa! Easy!”
>You take your seat in the booth and Spitfire grabs Fire Streak.
>”Streak! Dance with me!”
>”Uhhh.” Was all eh got out before Spitfire pulled him onto the floor.
>Soarin’ sighs. “Poor little idiot. Waiter! Let’s get some shots over here!”
“Shots? Again? You know how this ends, Soarin.”
>Soarin and you always ended up trying to out drink one another when you got shots.
>And Soarin always ended up under the table.
>”Everyone trips up sometimes, Anonymous.” He says.
>You roll your eyes and grab one of the glasses from the waitress as she walks over. You tilt your head back and down the liquid inside in a single gulp, letting it burn the back of your throat slightly and placing the glass upside down on the table.
“One.”

>>42430379
>Soarin and the waitress look on in disbelief, Misty rolls her eyes and Fleetfoot pulls down her shades.
“I’m bigger than you Soar, it gets to me less.”
>You also had a bit more fat on you than Soarin’, but you don’t let him know that.
>”Hey hey! What’s going on here?” comes a voice.
>You turn your head to see Spitfire trotting up to the table already.
“What happened to Fire?”
>Spitfire shrugs. “Said he had to pee, figure I had some time to kill while he sat down. What’s going on?”
>Fleetfoot chuckles. “Anonymous and Soarin’ were about to go drink for drink.”
>Spitfire cocks an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Waitress! More drinks!”
>Huh? Wait.
“What?”
>Spitfire gets a cocky grin as you begin to lose yours. “I know how these always turn out! And it’s a captain’s job to help everypony on her team!”
>Spitfire grabs Soarin’s drink and downs it the same way you did, slamming it on the table. “So how’s two against one sound?”
>You should say no.
>But-
“Game on, “chief.”

>>42430386
-Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3cE9iXIx9c -
>Fourteen shots later, you were drunk.
>That was probably bad, but you didn’t care.
>Because you were drunk.
>You were also dancing.
>Spitfire was in front of you strutting her stuff after your drinking contest.
>You could see some rose in her cheeks and you -knew- how fucked up you were.
>Soarin’ was laying down on the bench at the booth, he tapped out.
>Pussy.
>You and Spitfire were moving pretty well together, you found.
>The bigger part of your brain being too sloshed to work probably helped.
>Maybe that’s why you were thinking in such short sentences?
>You dunno.
>Either way, Spitfire spins on her hindlegs into you and you instinctively dip her.
“’Ey I think we’re getting’ the hang of this!” you shout over the music.
>”What!?” she responds.
>You lean closer.
“I SAID I THINK WE’RE DOING GOOD!”
>”WHAT!?”
>Fuckin’…
“YOU DANCE GOOD!”
>That got the basic gist across.

>>42430391
>”Phst yeah! I know!” Spitfire says.
>As you right your partner, she looks over her shoulder and gets excited.
>Walking across the dance floor is a pony wearing a blazer coat and several glowsticks
>”Dude! Dude. Dude? Wait here, I’ll be back in a flsa-back quick!”
“Haha what?”
>Spitfire wriggles out of your hands and goes over to the stallion.
>You see them talking, but don’t hear anything.
>But you see Spitfire get handed a small vial before she trots up to you.
>”Heeey Anny, j’ou wanna-“
>You’re already waving your hands.
“Whoawhoawhoa Spitsh, it’s tour season, we can’t get high off club shit on tour season!”
>Spitfire pshaws. “Pshaw! Anny’snot drugs! It’s boooooze! Delicious booze all the way from Atilian…supposed to have on HELL of a kick! You want some?”
>Oh…
“So it’s not drugs?”
>Spitfire shakes her head. “Nahuh.”
>Hmm…this was probably not the best ide-
>Why are you taking the bottle and throwing your head back.
>Spitfire giggles so hard she snorts, but you’re busy.
>Having the best. Idea. Ever.
“Spits…spits let’s get…we need a bathtub. NOW.”

-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tsM_uY_fKw -

>>42429302
Gay.

>>42430379
*Door opening sound*

>>42430548
yes, it is Gay.

>>42429267
What, I'm serious.
Not everything needs to be about sex. I could see Flurry being overprotective of Anon because he's so weak.
He has no magic, after all, and as a result, has no pony strength or durability. Like all the wacky cartoon stuff you see has a basis in magic, like when Twilight has all that stuff fall on her.
Ponies, even pegasi and unicorns are really durable, but Anon can die simply from falling down a couple stairs.
Maybe Flurry accidently hurt Anon seriously when they were young by doing something she thought was no big deal, like levitating him into the air eight or ten feet and dropping him, and he broke a leg, so now she has both guilt and the knowledge of how fragile her little brother really is.

>>42431032
So write it then

>>42420208
This took me a minute

>>42430975
Has the Undertale fandom taken our autism king crown from us?

>>42433162
lol no
we are still considered the "worst" part of Internet culture (just try to poni poni on normalfag platforms)

>>42433217
I've seen the shit in /utg/, they're worse than us.

>>42433577
Do they cum in jars? Do they engineer eatable-for-humans hay? Do they make significant contributions to the development of AI just because they want one fanfic to become reality?
/utg/ is just a circlejerk of avatarfags that, when new chapter of Deltarune is released, turns into a shitposting thread for two months. I've seen it with Ch1, Ch2 and recent release of Ch3-4: their level of autism doesn't even allow them to fap to anatomic correctness

>>42433663
I mean I wouldn't put it past them.

>Sir? Sir, excuse me, but there are young ears in the vicinity, you want to lay off all those 'darns' and 'dangs'?
Equestria, is predictably so, very TV-G tier.

>>42434074
Can Twilight give him a bleep spell?

>>42434317
She could but due to Anon's ornery attitude she just cast a spell that cuts off to a different scene when he's about to utter an obscenity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=portEJGiook

>>42434317
When a [BLEEP] censorship spell is cast on an a man, it's his civic duty to twist his speech in such a manner it's all getting bleeped out, to the increasing horror of bystander and caster alike.

>>42434630
Why? They can’t hear the words

>>42434630
If anything that’s just be annoying

>>42434630
The bleeps make it funnier

>>42434630
>Now go home and get your shinebox, Anonymous
>"YOU PURPLE MADAF-"

>>42436512
I don't speak mumbly wop.

>>42434320
Speed running the series I see

>>42437281
And that's why I choose Poni brand margarine.

>>42435238
He changes what he says to get around the spell.
Instead of:
>"I'm going to BLEEP you in the BLEEP!"
He says something like:
>"I'm gonna fill your exit hole with my love-pudding!"
And it just gets weirder from there.

>Anonymous In Equestria
>(This thread has been edited for tv)

>>42438111
>ATTENTION EQUESTRIAN WORKERS

>>42438111
MARES, SON

>>42438111
S

>>42438111
Keyed

>>42439761
Ha! Hey Rob! What're the odds, brother?

>>42439889
>"Same odds as you coming in here with someone besides yourself every week, anon!"

=Aces High 14=

>The first thing you feel when you pry open your eyes is unimaginable pain behind them.
>You cough, sputter, and grown as you reach over your head to slam your pillow on top of it before pawing at your end table to turn off the damn alarm clock.
“Muuuhhhgg…”
>How much did you drink last night?
>Why are your feet wet?
>Why does your entire body hurt?
>As more of your senses wake up, you hear the shower running.
>Why was the shower fucking running?
“GUUUUUHHHHH…”
>You push yourself off your bed and turn over, rubbing your head to get the cobwebs out.
“Please don’t tell me I left the fucking shower on last ni-“
>Whatever else you were going to say doesn’t come out as you watch someone trot out of your bathroom.
>Someone you knew, too.
>You find you can do nothing but sit and watch as Spitfire drags her hooves out of your bathroom and along the floor of your room.
>She slogs her way across the room and opens the door to your closet before stepping inside.
>A few silent moments pass as the two of you take stock of what just happened before Spitfire opens the door again.
>”That…is not my closet.”
“Very astute, Spits…”
>”…”
“…Spits?”
>”Yeah Anny?”
“Why are you walking out of my shower and into my closet?”
>Spitfire kicks at the carpet a bit. “Uhhh…thought it was my place…your bath is in the same place as mine from my bed.”
“Ah…”
>That still didn’t explain why she-
>”Anny, can I ask you a question to?”
“Huh? Sure Spits.”
>”How come you’re naked?”

>>42440778
>Indeed you look down on yourself past your bare upper torso and at the blanket you were half under, the soft silk rubbing up on your lower half –far- too softly for you to be wearing PJ’s.
“Gah! Shit.”
>You instinctively pull the blanket up over your chest, getting a chuckle from Spitfire.
“Oh, that’s funny huh? Your teammate getting so embarrassed?”
>She chuckles once or twice more. “Hehe…yeah?”
>You roll your eyes and look around your bedroom.
>Your clothes from last night were, luckily, still here, just spread all over. Some were on the floor, others over chairs, your pants were hanging from the ceiling fan and your socks seemed to be stuffed in your change jar.
“How in-“
>”No idea…” Spitfire says as the two of you look at the fan.
“Well there’s certainly one possibility…but…”
>You look around the room again.
>Spread amongst your clothes and things in various states of knocked over were more than a few liquor bottles. Celtic Kicks, Stalliongrad Reds, Blitz Blasters.
“Oooohhh boy…”
>You risk a peek under your covers again to che-you, no boxers.
>Spitfire giggles while you pokerface. “I think he’s getting it.”
“Last night.”
>”Ahuh.”
“You and me.”
>”No one else here.”
“Did we…?”
>Spitfire nods and smiles her weary smile. “Kiiiinda looks that way, huh. Got any feather in your mouth?”
>You absentmindedly pick at your teeth for any feathers before you catch yourself.
>Dude, you fucked your boss.
“Oooooohhhh…”

>>42440781
>You remain pokerfaced for a few moments as your process the information =.
>You’d fucked your team captain.
>”Yello? Earth to Anny? You okay in there?”
>You shake your head back to reality.
“Uh…yeah, sorry.”
>Spitfire laughs. “Thought I lost you for a minute there. I figured I was good but not literally mind-blowing.”
“Oh haaaaar har. Cut the cheese out.”
>”If that’s cheese, I don’t want to live in a world that aint” she defends.
>You strike back.
“That line was so cheesy that I could take it to Prance, slap it on a silver platter, and get applauded by the King for my culinary expertise.”
>”Oooohhh.” Spitfire says wincing. “Harsh burn.”
“Call a medic.”
>Spitfire chuckles again. “Still…wasn’t expecting this! Don’t even remember how I got here which is saying something with how much –I- drink.”
“Alchy.”
>”Damn straight.”
>You laugh once and rub the back of your head, going into thought.
>Spitfire senses your concern and comes around to your side of the bed. “Anny? S’up?”
“Huh? Oh just…wondering if this was allowed.”

>>42440785
>Spitfire hops up onto the bed and sits down. “Whatcha mean?”
“I mean are there like…rules against fraternization among teammates?”
>You and Spitfire quiet down as you both mentally recite the Wonderbolts handbook looking for the appropriate passage.
>Getting into the Wonderbolts were a lot like getting your license back home. You studied hard and became an undisputed –master- for the entrance exam...buuuut there was a knowledge dropoff once you didn’t need to know it anymore.
>”I don’t…think there’s a rule that says we –can’t-…” Spitfire says.
“How comforting to know that I –might- not get kicked off the team.” You chide.
>”He who dares”, Anny.”
>Cheeky shit.
“So…what exactly do we do not?”
>”Well normally this is where you make me breakfast…”
“You know what I mean.”
>Spitfire sighs and shrugs. “I dunno man…this hasn’t really happened before.”
>A group of specimens at the height of their physical prowess stretching back generations that were forced together to forge the bonds of friendship and sportsman comradery never resulted in any of them bumping uglies?
>Yeah, you believe that.

>>42440790
“…Hey, I got a question?”
>”I got an answer.”
>You’d laugh, but-
“Why me?”
>”Huh?” Spitfire asks, eyebrow arched.
“You heard me, why me? I mean, it’s not like the numbers of beautiful people is particularly lacking in our social circle.”
>”Is this one of those “I’m a weird alien” things?”
>Words used aside, you see some truth in them.
“Mmmmmaybe? I mean, I’ve been around the block a few times here but I’ve found ponies are a bit turned off by…”
>”What, the hands? The weird head? The silly ears?” Spitfire teases.
>You toss a wet sock at her.
“I was going to say feet, jackass.”
>”Seriously? They’re weirded by feet?”
“No hooves is weird, apparently.”
>Spitfire rolls her eyes. “Friggen racists…”
>She shuffles a bit. “You asked why? I ask “Why not?”. You’re my friend, you’re my teammate, and hell, right now you’re my partner. “ Spitfire turns to you. “Plus you scratch my head so good.”
>Ponies may be weirded by feet, but hands speak for themselves.

>>42440791
>Spitfire shrugs again, this time more relaxed. “So why not? You’re a part of my life, you make me feel good, and you were right there. Them’s all the checked boxes I need.”
“Huh…so circumstance is enough, eh?”
>”Only live once, Anon.”
>She’s right about that.
>…Fuck it.
“Do this again sometime?”
>Spitfire turns around and arches her eyebrow. “Did you just ask to fuck me?”
“Nooo, I asked if you wanted to let circumstance steer us again in the future.” You say with a smirk.
>Spitfire catches your meaning and smirks back. “We’ll see if you get lucky, cowboy.”
>You chuckle and rub your head.
“I’m terrible at making breakfast but did you wanna head out? Fit in some practice drills and then maybe grab some lunch?”
>”Uhg! Some guys! Throw ‘em a pity fuck and then they think they can ask you out! I’d love to, where’s my goggles?”
>You reach behind your alarm clock and toss Spitfire her goggles as you swing your legs out of your bed.
“Get my pants?”
>You catch your pants being thrown at you behind your head and slip them on.
>The two of you help one another get changed and set up in record time before you step out onto your patio as it’s lit brightly by the noon sun.
>”One hell of a thing to see with a hangover…” Spitfire says.
“Yeah…let’s get closer.”
>You kick your engines and shoot into the sky, Spitfire right on your tail.

>>42440794
It'd be funny if they go ahead with things and then only realize later on that nothing happened that night, but they'd drunkenly tried to practice their flying syncro and ended up like that. I also keep halfway expecting pony Sinclair to show up.

>>42440366
Hahaha! Oh Rob, you got a million of em', bud!
You kidder, you!

>>42441294
Anyone who flies drunk doesn’t make it to 20, let alone the wonderbolts

>>42441433
>”Not as many solo shows as you’ve had!”

>>42441294
Consider my expectations subverted

>>42397993 (OP)
so when is someone gonna convert the pastebin links to ponebin already? same for other threads, i feel like it wouldnt even take a couple hours to knock it out

>>42441433
Rob truly is an honorary white

>>42442859
Whoa, hey now, slow down already... Let's not say something we'll regret, yeah?

>>42442881
The good ones

>>42439761
What’s playing at the Ponyville kinoplex right now?

>>42442881
Anything for Rob

>>42443736
Equs.

>>42441294
Pony who?

>>42442086
Just go with Rob anon

>>42444792
Get you some history.

>>42445189
Oh that guy, that was actually where I got the idea from

>>42445220
Ah, Sinclair was the sleazy actor from Germany.

>>42445238
All actors are sleazy

>>42443736
90 minutes of fart noises

>>42445189
How does he keep his hat on.

=Aces High 15=

“Ahg, dammit.”
>You hold your face under the water streaming from the showerhead and wash the errant soap out of your eyes, rubbing away any it doesn’t get.
>Behind you, out of sight, Soarin’ washes himself off as well.
>Streak had long come and gone so it was just the two of you trying not to be awkward around each other.
>It wasn’t the fact that you were two guys standing naked in a shower while water washed over your toned, Olympian bodies, you’d been on the team long enough that any discomfort about that had long since passed.
>This awkwardness was because you’d been dodging Soarin’s inquisitive stares after Spitfire smacked your ass at the end of practice today.
>Ever since that night, you’d kept things on the DL as best as you could, but today was the first team practice you and Spitfire had had since sleeping together.
>You hadn’t talked over with Spitfire at all about even if you –should- tell the rest of the team so you’d kept your mouth shut.
>But it was getting harder to do that.
>”So…Anonymous.” Soarin says.
“Yeah Soar?”
>Keep it casual.

>>42447632
>”Good practice today.”
“You think? I thought I was a bit sloppy on my turns.”
>”Nah, you were good. You and Spitfire both.”
“Yeah, she told me she’d been practicing.”
>You scrub harder.
>”…You and Spitfire seemed like you were really pushing it.”
>Fuckingshit.
“Yeah, well, she’s lead flyer. I go where she says.”
>”Mmm. You two been getting extra practice in after hours?”
>Shit, does he know?
“Uhhh…yeah, we talked that night at the club and hit up the track the next day, worked on some new moves.”
>”Yeah I’ll bet.”
“What’s that mean?”
>”I dunno. You tell me?”
>Shitshit.
>You reach forward and turn off the water, grabbing your towel and walking back to your locker.
“Nothing to really tell, Soarin.”
>Soarin follows soon after and the two of you change into your street clothes.
>This was good. If you could just keep him in the dark until you could talk to Spitfire, you could sort this out.
>You and Soarin walk from the lockers out to the common area and-
>”-nd you’d think that because he’s so much different than a pony, it’d be all weird, right? But no way! It was sorta like one of those weird clams from the…market…” Spitfire is in the process of saying as she slowly turns to look at the two of you, her hooves several inches apart from one another.
>You’d say something, but your mouth doesn’t work. Luckily Soarin’ covers for you.
>”Nothing to tell”, huh Anon?”

>>42447635
“Oh Christ, here we go.” You get out.
>”Wait wait wait wait.” Misty says, rubbing her head. “You’re telling me you two are RUTTING?”
>Spitfire holds up a hoof. ”Rutted, Misty! Singular. Only the one time…so far~.” She says with a wink.
>”Damn Anon, I didn’t know you had that kinda play.”
>You rub your forehead.
“Yeah, sure, thanks Streaker.”
>Why does he sound so sur-damn-prised?
>”Oh sure he is! Get him to tell you about the Prench model, why dontcha?” Spitfire says.
>Fleetfoot simply reclines in her chair and chuckles. “Lifestyles of of the rich and famous, eh Anonmous?”
“Yeahsuresomethinglikethat.”
>Soarin walks past you to the rest of the team. “Fancy is going to freak when he finds out.”
“He’s not –going- to find out if I can help it.”
>This makes Spitfire whirl around in her seat to face you, eyebrow cocked. “Why not?”
>You point at Soain’.
“Because, like he said, he’ll freak? Probably.”
>”Two of his star racers are doing it, this is either a PR blessing or a performance nightmare.” Soarin’ adds.
>Spitfire crosses her legs and turns her nose up at you. “You’re just ashamed of me, hmph!”
“Oh don’t be a diva.”
>”I’m not! You hurt my womanly feelings.”
“Both of them?”
>”Low blow.”
“You were spilling info about my dong, I can go as low as I want.”
>Fleetfoot guffaws in her chair. “Listen to you two! You sound like my parents.”
>Spirfit smirks. “I bet he aint even buy a ring yet.”
>Fire Streak stands up and grabs his bag. “Anyone care to continue this informative and hilarious line of thought at Five ‘Quines?”
>”I’m down for some burgers and fries.”
>”Same.”
>”Count me in!”
>You walk past the team towards the door to the balcony.
“I’ll catch up.”
>Times like this, you needed some air.

>>42447637
>You push out the glass door onto the balcony of the training center and take a deep breath. You drink rich the scent of the city before you, the clouds, even the trees on the mountain before you release it all in an explosive sigh.
“Gooooood dammit.”
>”I dunno about your human or whatever god, but I’m willing to bet they can’t help you here.”
>You look over your shoulder, Soarin walks out the door and joins you on the balcony.
“Hey…” you say with a sigh.
>”Hey.”
>A long silence passes between you both.
>”So the team captain, huh? Are you gonna move up to Fancy next or try and work your way through the team.”
“Oh come on, Soar.”
>He walks over to the railing next to you and rests his head in his hoof, whimsically playing with his other hoof. “Because I just don’t think I can be with someone like that without getting to know them, you know?”
“Uhg, look, I get it, you’re irritated at me.”
>Soarin looks over at you.
>“Irritated? Me? That my best friend and oldest friend are screwing and one was going to keep it a secret from me? That’s just silly, Anon.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sorry. Can you blame me?”
>”Could. Won’t. That’d make me an asshole.”
“Yeah it would.”

>>42447638
>”And ethics aside, you have enough assholes to worry about.”
“Ethics? What ethics?”
>”Ethics like it Spits likes you then she might go easy on you, dunderhead. She’s supposed to be an impartial figure.”
“Yeah yeah…” you nod.
>”I’m just saying it’s a slippery slope, Anon. You gotta be careful in this line of work. More than a few ‘Bolts in the past have been done in by their sex life.”
>You drag your hand down your face.
“I’ve barely even thought about the worst part…”
>”That being?”
“What if Dash finds out?”
>Soarin’ winces for his friend. “She’d…be pissed.” He says.
“She’d be REALLY pissed because on top of breaking up with her and stealing her dream job, I’m railing her idol.”
>”What is even her deal? That’s not normal behavior.”
“She hates losing. A lot.”
>Like a LOT a lot.

>>42447639
>Someone tapping on the window behind the both of you draws your attention away.
>Spitfire leans out of the balcony door. “Hey, are you two gonna hurry up and kiss already? Because if not I can take my bits and go stuff them down somepony else’s pants.”
>Soarin’ immediately gets into form.
>”Ho no, I graduated college, I don’t have to do that no more.”
>”B-but my money! It’s good!”
>”Take it elsewhere, harlot!” Soarin’ teases.
>Spitfire chuckles and holds the door open. “But for serious, come on guys! We’re all gonna go get some grub and it’s not a team without you two.”
>”Sure you want a third, fourth, fifth, and sixth wheel on your daaaaaaate~?”
>Spitfire cradles Soarin’s jaw. “Oh Soarin’ the Borein’, you’ll always be my number…seven? Yeah. Number seven guy.”
>Soarin’ chuckles and walks past Spitfire leaving just you and Spitfire.
>”Sup, loverboy? You two get your real talk taken care of? Jokin’ aside, looked sorta heavy.”
>Do you tell her about the ethics violations? Do you tell her about your concerns? Do you tell her that Rainbow Dash will be at at least once of the the upcoming races and to cut back on the ass slaps so she doesn’t see?
>Nope.
“It’s nothing worth worrying about, not with a race on the horizon. We gotta work on our technical skills of we’re gonna beat those fuckers.”
>Spitfire laughs after a brief silence and heads in. “HA! We’ll floor ‘em, Anny.”
>You throw your bag over your shoulder and follow the rest of your team on autopilot, lost in thought.
>Concerns aside, the best thing you could do right now is focus on the team and your job in it, you reckon.
>For as long as you can, anyway.

>>42428892
Mayer not that change

>>42442436
Did u rike it

>>42438631
PLAYED HOOFBALL YOU KNOW

>>42449362
>HEE HEE! The memes, Jack!
>"Yeah? How 'bout full of *squee*? Is that a meme?"

>>42449530
Something’s gotta be done about your kids, Pinkie!

>>42449765
>Alright thanks for joining us on Maury, we've got a great show today and it starts with one mare..starts with one mom.
>-AND HOW INATTENTIVE SHE IS WITH HER KIDS! BRING OUT PINKIE PIE!
>"HEE HEE! YALL DON'T KNOW ME, HO! YEAAAH SHUT UP *BLEEP*!"
>Pinkie, there's..you know, giving kids there space and freedom..and then there's willfully handing them a stick of dynamite and some matches.
>"Haha! Yeah I get that a lot, Maury, but you know, all that rigid discipline and strict upbringing stuff just makes you dysfunctional and unhappy for the sake of being functional!..Trust me, you should see my sisters."
>Interesting. Stay tuned for more Maury! When we come back, we speak to the father, Anonymous!

>>42449785
>”We did a DNA test…”

>>42449530
Time travel, you say?

>>42450655
SHES GONNA TAKE YOU BACK TO THE PAST

>>42451172
AHH *SQUEE* ACTION 52!
>*SQUEE* THE CHEETAHMARES
>HOLY *SQUEE* THESE GAMES WERE WORSE THAN A *SQUEE* ROOT CANAL WITH A FLAMING SPORK PERFORMED VIA MY *SQUEE* RECTUM!

>>42451574
>"WHY"
>"ARE"
>"THERE"
>"NO"
>"CONTINUES"

Hey jitterbugs, did ya hear the all the jive?
>What's the news, friend?
Pone-o-graph's, by gadfrey! They're the bees knees!
>Hey, that's a swell model! That white coat and blue mane are real spiffy, too! Hon', put a record on!
>[Confused Vinyl blink]
Slice of PiE (but set in the 1920's)

>>42452215
Where’s the moonshine

>>42450088
>”Gummi…you ARE the father!”

>>42452215
>”Hey mate how about those damn Zebras?”

>>42453934
No creature who has the zoomies would be sitting still.

=Aces High 16=


>Race Day.
>The team locker room.
>Suited up, strapped in, pre-race bathroom break done, the team was bouncing off the walls on adrenaline as the seconds towards race time ticked down.
>”Who’s ready!?” Spitfire shouts.
>”We’re ready!” you all repeat.
>”Who’s like us!?”
>”Damn few!” the five of your chorus.
>Spitfire nods. “Damn straight, and they’re all dead.”
>These times for a team were important, confidence could make or break you on the racetrack.
>A door at the back opens up, momentarily letting in the cheer of the crowd in the stands as Fancypants slips in.
>”Okay ponies, we are less than three minutes out! Are we ready?”
>Spitfire salutes to Fancy as he approaches. “Locked, stocked, and ready to rock, boss-man!”
>Fancy puts a hoof to his earpiece before nodding. “Good…good. Huddle in, team.”
>The six of you mass around Fancy who removes his mic and looks you each in the eye.
>”Now, look, I don’t think I need to tell all of you our need to impress out there.”
>The team nods all around, Fancy continues.
>”Our last races…haven’t shown our best. So let’s go out there and show them why –we- are Equestria’s premier flying team, eh?”
>The race partners around you grin and nod, playfully nudging their partners.
>”It’s all or nothing here, team. We need this win or else…” Fancy goes silent for a moment. “Let’s not thing of “elses”.”
>Crap.

>>42454571
>Fancy breaks the huddle and heads back outside. You feel your stomach clench up.
>Spitfire looks over her shoulder at you, sensing your trepidation
>”Why the long face buuuuuuuuuddy?” she asks.
>You chuckle once, dryly.
“Oh, you know, fate of the team, fate of decades of legacy riding on my shoulders, no biggy.”
>Spitfire rolls her eyes and goes “Pfffffft.”
>”Who cares what a bunch of old or dead pegusai think? It’s not like they’ll get on our ass if we screw this up, which we won’t, because we’re AWESOME.”
>You knew that talk, you’d known that talk before things became what they were, and you knew Spitfire was trying to misdirect you from your anxiety.
>Surprisingly, it was working.
>You laugh at her bravado.
>”Hey. Hey. Anny. Who’s like us?”
“Yes, yes, I get it.”
>”Good! I hate repeating myself. Now you gonna help me trash these losers or am I gonna have to show you up again?”
>You grab your goggles and snap them on as you make your way to the door, the others already heading out.
“Last one out hit the lights!” you tease as you slide out of the lock room into the stadium.

>>42454573
>As the team walks out into the roaring field of the stadium, the announcer begins to speak.
>”Ladies and gentlemen, mares and stallions, fillies and colts of all ages! Welcome to the New Saddle Sporting Arena! BuiltbytheRichCorporation.” He says, adding the last part in a single syllable.
>”Entering onto the field now, the one! The only! Equestria’s Premier stunt flying team! The Woooooooonderboooooooolts!”
>Spitfire shoots into the air and waves to the crowd, soaking in the adoration while the rest of you get to start positions.
>”And from Stalliongrad, our second team, born of over a hundred years of service, protecting the Trussian region from dangerous weather! The Valkyries!”
>The Trussian regional anthem, a throaty chorus of chants fills the stadium as the team flies out from their area and takes positions facing the opposite direction from your team.
>”The Valkyries are in their element today, folks! Because the draw for today’s race is weather prevention! Each team will have to stop a trio of radical and weird weather phenomenon! All to meet at the final big blowout finish! First to return to the stadium with all four weather patterns complete is the winner!”
>”Are the teams ready?”
>Fancypants and the Valkyrie leader both give their individual ready check.
>”Racers?”
>All of you raise a hoof/fist to the air, the signal that you were each prepared as much as you could be.
>”Then on your marks…”
>The stadium falls silent.
>”Get set!...”
>You tense your body, releasing the stored up energy right as a trio of cannons fire.
>”GO!” the announcer cries.

>>42454575
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It2jlKdeJI4

>The crack of a gunshot echoes like thunder, but barely had the molecules of air even begun to vibrate than they were drowned out by the breaking of the sound barrier.
>By the time the bullet leaves the barrel you’re confident that to the observers you and your fellow racers are mere specks on the horizon, gone with a speed that no arrangement of words may accurately describe.
>The howl of the wind whipping past you mixes with the roar of turbines to create a kind of chorus, a super sonic choir that you like to imagine heralds your coming victory.
>Dozens of leagues in the distance rages a terrible blizzard, its fury only barely contained by the course handlers. It looms on the horizon as an impenetrable mass of grey and black, inevitable and implacable.
>Suddenly your earpiece crackles to life, It’s Fancy.
>”Anon! You and Spitfire are headed towards the blizzard course.”
“What’s in store for us there, boss?”
>”One moment…” you hear him say among the sounds of flipping through a book. “Ah, the flag course! Anon, you and Spitfire will be racing against the enemy team to find a single flag amidst the snow and win. First team to return to the stadium with their flag is the victor!”
“Copy that!”

>>42454576
>You cast a quick sideways glance at Spitfire, her expression unreadable with her eyes so concealed by the glare upon her goggles. For a moment you wonder if she’s in any way anxious or scared.
>A slight turn of her head banishes the glare from her goggles and for a brief moment you make eye contact with her. In that fraction of a second you feel that unspoken connection with her again and any doubts you may have felt about this race are immediately quelled.
>It won’t be long until the real action begins and you savor these brief moments of calm before the coming storm, a stupid grin coming to your face as you recognize the unintentional pun.
>With a deep breath to calm yourself, you angle your goggles so that the glare catches her eye, any vocal communication being completely out of the picture at your current speed.
>A shift of her head and a nod lets you know you have her attention.
>She nods once towards the clouds, and then again down beneath where the storm rages.

>>42454577
>The barest of movement, but the message is loud and clear; she’ll take care of the clouds while you search for the flag.
>As clouds black as night fill your vision you angle yourself downwards while Spitfire arcs upwards and disappears into the roiling darkness.
>Likewise you notice the other pair of racers splitting apart in a similar fashion; one heading towards the clouds and one into the storm with you.
“Oh no you don’t…”
>As you decrease your speed in preparation for the storm, you enter a wall of shadow as the sun dips behind the towering mountains of clouds.
>With the glare of the sun gone you’re able to get a look at the terrain you’ll have to be dealing with.
>Rocky crags, sheer cliffs, and wicked peaks populate the terrain, all of it covered in a thick blanket of white that makes its features seem to blend together, something that could prove dangerous while moving at the speed you are.
>Though the time for thinking soon runs out as you hit the wall of white, winds buffeting you from every direction and threatening to tear you from the air and send you hurtling towards the rocks below.
>From outside it seemed far less intimidating, but from inside with the snow whipping all around you seeing even your outstretched hands is a challenge. Finding the flag under such conditions will likely prove near impossible, but that’s where Spitfire comes into play.
>Though as you ponder the task at hand the wind shifts violently, catching you off guard and veering you off course. In reaction you decrease your speed to give yourself some semblance of control, but while you’re busy trying to right yourself you shift your attention too much away from your surroundings.

>>42454579
>For an instant the wind dies and the impenetrable wall of white abates, giving you a clear view of the rocky outcropping you now find yourself on a direct path towards.
>In alarm you swing your legs down and bring them up in front of you so that your back is facing downwards, gunning your engines as you do to try and slow your forward momentum.
>It doesn’t do much, but it’s enough to reduce the collision from fatal to simply painful.
>Even as you collide and pain flares through your body your hands scrabble for purchase on the snow-slicked rock.
>After a gut-churning moment that feels like it stretches minutes, your hand finds a hold and you grab tight for dear life.
>Struggling to slow your breathing, you simply hang there for a few moments trying to regain your bearings. Chancing a glance downwards, you notice a small ledge a half dozen meters down the rock face where the elements had worn a shallow depression in the stone.
>So long as a shift in the wind doesn’t angle the storm directly at it, it could provide sufficient shelter until you can plan out your next move. Continuing on in the present conditions will more likely than not accomplish little other than potentially injuring you and taking you out of the race.
>You release your death grip on the rock as your pack flares to life, slowing your fall and allowing you to land safely on the ledge below.
>So sheltered from the blinding snow you’re afforded a slightly better view of the terrain, and off in the distance a glint of light catches your attention.
>Barely you’re able to make out the other team; one carves a path through the clouds above while the other follows beneath, searching the course in the illumination provided.
>After a moment you lose sight of them, but they return moments later moving in a different direction. The scene repeats itself a few times and you begin to notice a pattern to their movements.
“Hmm, a grid pattern,” you muse.

>>42454582
>Not bad in theory, it allows them to keep up the blistering pace they had coming in and gives them the advantage of covering more ground.
>However the trench carved through the storm is shallow, only as wide as the racer’s body, and the path soon disappears as clouds move in to fill the empty space.
>And at such speeds the chance of spotting such a small object are slim, one would need to be nearly skimming the ground to make it possible. Though in such hazardous terrain the only way for the other team to maintain their breakneck speed is to search from a higher altitude.
>This puts you at ease, only a stroke of pure luck would allow them to pull a victory out of this. All that’s left for you to do is wait for Spitfire to make her move.
>She doesn’t leave you waiting for long. Scant seconds later a thundering boom echoes through the storm and a great hole rips open in the clouds above sending light streaming onto the course.
>The storm abates slightly in the wake of the sonic boom, but for that brief instant you’re granted a significantly improved view of your surroundings.
>A small smile comes to your face as you watch the clouds slowly begin to fill in the hole. Her method might not be as graceful as the other team’s, but there’s no doubting the effectiveness.
>Another boom cracks the skies and another hole opens up further away even as the first one fills in. This time, rather than admiring your partner’s work, you begin scouring the terrain from your vantage point alert for any sign of your objective.

>>42454584
>Out of the corner of your eye you catch sight of your partner as she dives in and out of the clouds, her movements timed perfectly so that each time she enters with sufficient speed to break the sound barrier. It appears for all the world that the clouds flee at her barest touch as though fearful of her.
>Seconds tick by like minutes, Spitfire ripping open holes in the storm all across the sky in a display that at any other time would fill you with awe were you not so consumed by the task at hand.
>After a time something nearby catches your eye, a glint of reflected sunlight. For a moment you think to dismiss it as ice, but just then Spitfire parts the clouds directly above you, driving away the blinding white of the storm and illuminating the area.
>There it is again, that same gleam, but this time you see it for what it is. Not shine of ice, but of a meter long steel rod topped with a triangle of scarlet cloth.
>Your eyes widen as you see the flag, and for a moment you can’t help but laugh. This whole time you’d been scant meters from it without ever knowing.
>As the hole in the sky begins to close, you notice to your dismay a path being carved through the clouds directly towards your position, Spitfire’s methods having inadvertently given them sight of it as well.
>Without another moment’s hesitation you bring your pack to life and leap from the ledge and out into the open air.

>>42454585
>Your opponents remain at a higher altitude, keeping away from the hazardous peaks of the course and maintaining their blistering speed. If luck is on your side their attention is too fixed on the flag for them to have noticed you yet.
>The flag is barely a hundred meters from your position so you can afford to move slower and closer to the ground to keep hidden. If the other team spots you it could make the situation difficult, you decide it best to let them think they’re closing with the flag unopposed.
>You fly as fast as you dare through the course, and though you occasionally lose sight of your opponents behind towering rock formations you know they must be moving at least twice your speed as unhindered by the terrain as they are.
>You push yourself ever faster in your single-minded desire to win, zipping by rocks at such speeds that a single misstep, a single inch of displacement could spell your end.
>The journey lasts mere seconds, a bare handful of heartbeats, but to you it feels like an eternity.
>As you emerge from a cluster of rocks you catch sight of the other team and your heart stops. Either they were moving faster than you had assumed or you had been moving too slow, but whatever the reason they’re almost right above the flag and the one in the storm is angling himself downwards to snatch it up.
>With little by way of obstacles between you and the flag you gun your engines, accelerating as fast as the machine will allow, but in the end you know it will not be enough. The other racer is too close and moving too fast.
>But just as all seems lost another boom cracks above you and another hole opens up in the clouds easily twice the size of all before it.

>>42454588
>As high in the air as he is, the other racer is powerless to avoid the shockwave produced by the sonic boom and is sent spiraling through the air like a doll before a hurricane.
>Seizing the moment, you push your pack to the very limits of its structural integrity.
>A millisecond later your fingers close around the flagpole, your momentum tearing it from the earth it was embedded in.
>Almost too late, lost in that split second of euphoria, you notice the sheer cliff face you now find yourself hurtling towards.
>Simultaneously you cut the power to your engines and flip yourself around, angling your feet towards the rock.
>The instant before you hit you reignite your pack’s thrusters, softening the blow as you land on the wall in a crouch.
>For a moment you stand completely horizontally on the wall before you kick off and take to the air once more on wings of fire.
“Haha! Yeah!”
>You wave the flag over your head and get Spitfire’s attention, the two of you blitzing back to the stadium.

>>42454592
>A quick pit stop to douse your face in warm water and drink some cold and you and Spitfire are rocketing back out the northern portcullis of the stadium.
>The trees and forests give way to mountains and you and Spitfire are riding high.
>”That was some bomb-ass flying back there Annie! A bit more like that and we got this in the bag!”
>You nod as you fly.
“Let’s see what we’re-“
>Whatever encouragement you were saying is lost on the wind as you head over a ridge and spy something lighting up the entire area.
>”What…the figaty-fuck is that?”
“It looks like a tornado, Spits…one that’s on fire.”
>Indeed the infernal cyclone stretched from the ground up to a layer of smokey black clouds high in the sky. It whipped around violently pulling trees and rocks into its wall cloud before hungrily searching for more.
>And the worst part? It had a twin a mile or two off to the right of itself doing the same.
>You cue up your headset.
“Fancy, what in the hell is this?”
>A crackling voice cuts through the interference caused by the storm. “That’s the final obstacle, Anonymous. Finish that and get back here and we win.”
>You look at the cyclone and feel a coldness in your gut.
“What in the hell are we supposed to do to it!?”
>”Stop it.” Fancy says before his line is consumed in static.
“Gah!” you shout as you turn off the mic.

>>42454594
>”What’s the sitch?” Spitfire asks.
“Fancy says we’re supposed to –stop- that thing.”
>Spitfire looks over your shoulder with concern. “Well we aint the only ones.
>You turn around in time to see the Valkyrie team soar over the nearby mountaintop and rocket towards the twin tornado.
“Shit! Did you count them!?”
>Spitfire nods. “Ahuh. Four.”
“And no sign of any other ‘bolts…”
>You glance between your twister and the oppositions, you can already see them beginning to circle the base of the funnel to slow it down.
“Any ideas, fearless leader?”
>Spitfire looks at the top of the twister and then at the bottom, doing math in her head before speaking up. “I got one, but it’s risky as hell.”
“Those who dare, win, boss.”
>Like hell were you letting some drunk weather specialists beat a trained racer.
>Spitfire chuckles and points to the top. “We gotta get up and over the rotating clouds and fly straight into the center! The diameter will be smaller in there so if we push ourselves hard, we can do cut through and outpace the Valks!”
“What have we got to lose?” you ask.
>Spitfire begins listing things off like a smartass. ”Well, our roguish good looks, our charming senses of humor, our careers, our lives.”
“Still better than losing a title.”
>”Damn straight! You ready, partner?” she asks as she holds her hoof out.
>You wordlessly bump it and the two of you rocket into the air.

>>42454598
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8zU8paFops

>Spitfire and you put some distance between you and the tornado before you start your ascent.
>You take your position behind her and clench your fists to maximize your speed. The two of you climb and climb, breaking through the darker clouds and into the white ones forming above.
>You anticipate Spitfire’s intention and cut your thrusters at the apex of your climb, hoping you’re right.
>Tense moments pass with your heart thundering in your ears before you’re vindicated and Spitfire arcs herself backwards and let’s herself fall directly into the tornado like a bullet. You bring your arms to your chest and follow her.
>Past the cloud wall there wasn’t as much debris that could knock your head off, but the winds were doing a decent job of that.
>Gusts of air so fast they could cut you blew past your head and made it difficult to breathe, but you had to soldier on. That being said, the hardest part was the heat.
>Sweltering heat that would make Tartarus itself jealous blasted you from all side and made you regret for not the first time that your uniform was a skintight bodysuit.
>Spitfire flares open her wings and peels out of her freefall, beginning her counter-rotation on the cyclone and once again you flare your jets and follow.

>>42454599
>You fall in behind Spitfire as the two of you give it your all and pull as tight of corners as you can inside the cylinder of wind.
>Around and around and around you go some more as you block out everything except the sight of Spitfire in front of you blazing the trail.
>Through your observations, you notice her wings stuttering occasionally and her teeth gritting as she presses on through squinted eyes.
”She’s pushing herself too hard, she’s gonna black out.” You thought.
>And as her second, that wouldn’t do.
>You clench your fists and peel out from behind spitfire, getting a nice smack of opposing wind in your face as you push ahead alongside her.
>Spitfire peeks out of the corner of her eye and catches you signaling for her to fall back.
“I’ve got this for a bit.” You mouth, the tornado roaring too loud for vocal communication.
>Spitfire acquiesces and falls back, taking position behind you and resting in your slipstream as you angle your knuckles to turn yourself into a blade that cuts through the wind.
>You reach back and flip a red switch on your pack in an instant, the overdrive switch. Your pack rumbles as you release the flow of fuel into the engine and dump it all into the thrusters.
>It was now or never time.
>Spitfire sticks on you as you both carve the tornado up.

>>42454600
>Either an eternity or an instant passes in that tornado, you couldn’t tell, but eventually you open your eyes and notice you can see out of the flaming shell of the twister, it was quieter too.
>Bingo!
>Spitfire knows what you’re thinking before you say it. “Let’s bring it on home, Anny!”
>Spitfire breaks away from behind you and takes position next to you as the two of you continue flying the same pattern you had been, but this time not combatting the wind but creating it.
>You spin and spin and spin some more and create a twister of your own, one that sucks the first up into the sky and throws it into the clouds.
>Up in the sky with the thinner atmosphere and colder temperatures, the fire of the tornado snuffs out; unable to sustain itself any longer.
>Spitfire looks up in awe at the spectacle before she snaps back to reality.
>”Come on Anny, back home! Double time!”
“On your six!”
>Spits pulls a hairpin turn and zips back towards the stadium, you right on her tail.

>>42454603
>The stadium gets comes into view within moments and into earshot moments after that; such was the result when you were hauling as much ass as the two of you were.
>You enter the stadium in a heartbeat and stop in the center of the field, Spitfire flapping her wings and you pulsing your jets and expending the last of your fuel to do so before you stumble to the ground.
>The entire stadium is silent for one brief and shining moment before a loud BANG rouses them to thunderous applause as your sonic boom catches up with you.
>The stadium is almost louder than the tornado as ponies hoot and holler and stomp and chant your names.
>”WON-DER-BOLTS! WON-DER-BOLTS! WON-DER-BOLTS!” they cry.
>You take a knee and the necessary heavy breathes as you go over what you just did.
“Hah…nice race…Spits.”
>Spitfire takes a deep breath and lets it all out before taking off her goggles and winking. “Fancy flyin’ there, Slick.”
>”YOU DID IT!”
>Behind the two of you from your pit comes running Fancypants along with the rest of the team.
>Fancy does what you’d never expected to see form him and throws himself around your neck, hugging you tight.
>”I don’t know how you pulled it off but by Celestia you two did it! You saved the team!”
>Spitfire punches your shoulder lightly. “Couldn’ta done it without him, I’d be dead from exhaustion if it weren’t for him.”
>”This’ll keep us afloat for sure.” Misty says.
>”Not to mention give the rags on the shelves a story to run with.” Comments Soarin.
“Pulling off a win is reward enough.”
>”I got your reward and your story right here, big guy.” Spitfire says.
>If the crowd was loud before, they go absolutely ballistic as Spitfire pulls you away from Fancy Pants and plants one on you for the entire nation to see.
>In your shock, you can see Fancy’s jaw hit the floor and Soarin cover his face and shake his head.
>…Ho boy.

>>42402157
The proper term is mental retardation.

>>42409294
I like this.

>>42455657
Darn tootin

>>42455657
What meme is this

>>42455657
I hope Rat is doing alright.

>>42455657
She looks stressed.

>>42457765
>”Can you introduce me to Kojima?”

>>42457765
“Do you know how famous this Rainbow Dash figure is?”

>>42457457
Being denied oats will do that to a Lyra.

>>42459301
Tell her to get take ou

>>42458678
Kek

>>42412688
Too bad petplay is a disgusting fetish because ponies that act like animals has potential.

=Aces High 17=

>You open the door to your house on a quiet Saturday midday and stick your head out. You look once to the left and once to the right investigating, as well as scanning the nearby treelines for any camera flashes.
“Looks clear…”
>You pull the door the rest of the way open and bend down in your bathrobe to pick up the paper.
>Fancy had intstructed you to keep low since the race, total media blackout, but that didn’t stop you from having to have dodged paparazzi trying to swarm your house like ants to a hill.
>Today seemed, mercifully, quiet. Some noble somewhere must have called someone a zigger or something. However that didn’t mean you were off the hook just yet.
>You reach to flip through the paper for news but there you are, getting prenched by Spitfire on page one, this time from a new angle with a big headline saying “RACEWAY ROMANCE”.
“Aw jeeze…”
>”What’s wrong, mister Anon?”
>You look away from your paper and spy Thunderstrike peddling around the street on his scooter.
“Something…incredibly stupid, kid.”
>”Huh?” he asks, tilting his head in that way kids do.
>You sigh, it’d probably be poor tact to tell this kid about the birds and the bees.
“Nothing, Strike. Just remember that pictures are forever, okay?”
>You turn around and let the boy have his weekend, shutting and locking the door.
>Thunderstrike may be off the hook, but that didn’t mean that someone else wasn’t.
>If it had been this long and the press –still- wasn’t letting off, you and Spitfire needed to chat.
>It luckily wasn’t hard to find her these days, you just had to walk through your house and follow the music.

>>42461040
Music: https://youtu.be/D3-hNMqmKK0?list=RDD3-hNMqmKK0
>You head downstairs from the door to your living room where Spitfire is sprawled out on a mat contorted into some mind boggling position.
>”Anny! Thank Celestia, get me out of this!” she says with her hind hood next to her face.
>You have no choice but to cock your eyebrow as you walk over and flick off the stereo.
“Do I even want to know?”
>”Yoga.”
“You don’t do yoga.”
>”I thought I’d pick it up?”
“…Kaaaaay, why?”
>”Make me more ~flexible~, lover.” She says, batter her eyelids.
>You roll your eyes and kneel down to untangle her.
“Please don’t talk like that, it fills me with dread.”
>Spitfire flops onto the mat as she rights herself and stands. “Pshaw, not if you listen to the lame stream media! We’re hot!”
“Yeah but they don’t need any MORE ammo, do they?”
>Spitfire trots over to table and pours herself a glass of rum.
“Isn’t it a bit early?”
>”It’s happy hour somewhere.”
“Yeah? Where?”
>Spitfire is quiet an blinks a few times in consideration. “Stalliongrad.”
“Stalliongrad?”
>”City of ice, snow, bad smells and vodka? It’s ALWAYS happy hour there.” She says, gulping her drink.
>You sit down on a chair.
“FLAWLESS logic.”
>”I’m a treasure to my kingdom.” She says, putting a disingenuous hoof over her heart and taking another swig.
“Seriously, cut back on that, huh? For me.”
>Spitfire looks at you confused. “Maaaaan, what is with you? You sound like my mom, and step-mom, and step-mom after her.”
>You jerk a thumb towards the bay window and bushes beyond it.
“I just don’t wanna give those vultures out there any more ammo, you know?”
>Spitfire chuckles and takes a swig from the bottle. “They love me for it.”
“Yeah, I worry about that too.”
>”Eh?”

>>42461045
>You gesture to her.
“You, this, all of you. You barely own yourself, it’s all for them.”
>You point outside again.
>”The heck do you mean?” she asks.
“I mean- look. You give more than anyone else on the team and bust your ass to be captain, working your body and mind so we’re the best, right?”
>”Naturally.”
“And off the track you always end up in some rag getting photographed drinking in Appleoosa or posing for some photographer or leaving a club with the entire Trottingham water polo team.”
>Spitfire grins and her eyes sorta glaze over, you wave your hand in front of them.
“Spits?”
>”Huh, sorry?” she says snapping back. “Sorry, I was still on the water polo team…”
>You roll your eyes.
“My point is that you’re giving your entire professional life to the team and your entire personal life to the press.”
>”Yeah, and?”
“And so when was the last time you did something for yourself?”
>Spitfire doesn’t answer immediately.
“When was the last time you did something just because you wanted to and not because it’d get you on the cover of some trashy newspaper or because it’d help the ‘Bolts?”
>Spitfire makes her best cutie patootie face. “I’m here with you, aint I?”
>You drop the paper from this morning on the floor in front of her.
“Spits, you know I love ya to death, but forgive me if I don’t totally believe that stunt at the stadium was just you caught up in the moment.”
>Spitfire sighs and hangs her head, going over and kicking at the paper. “Didn’t even get my good side.”
“Not really a laughing matter, Spits…”
>”Then what –is- it, Anny?” she asks, looking at you with her namesake in her eyes.
>You sigh, this was an unpleasant road so you wanted to avoid as much of it as possible…

>>42461046
“Look, I just mean I’ve seen fliers give themselves this much to the sport and it…didn’t end well.”
>”Like how?”
“Like it became their life and then it…ended for some reason or another and they were lost. What happens if you get a game breaking injury, huh? What happens if you lose a wing to a razor wind?”
>Spitfire recoils slightly. “That’s sorta morbid, Anny. And it aint gonna happen, you know that!”
>That pisses you off a bit.
“Spits, don’t talk to me like I’m some press junkie. I’m your partner and I –know- you’re more intelligent than you let on so cut the bullshit.”
>That long, tense moment hangs in the air for a bit before Spitfire sighs and lowers her head, closing her eyes.
>Shit, now you feel bad…
>You sigh to and wave your hand.
“C’mere…”
>Spitfire trots over and climbs up into your lap, resting her head on the chair arm.
>You scratch her ears.
>”I just never really thought about it, Anny. There was always so much other crap going on like getting in and then winning captain and then keeping us at our best, and it wasn’t always easy.”
>She looks up at you. “You know in our worst year with me as captain, ‘fore you showed up, Fancy made me do our finances? Said it was a cost saving measure because we couldn’t spend the bits!”
>Spitfire a math whiz?
“Not including endorsements, how much would each member’s pay per race be in a double summer season?”
>Spitfire doesn’t even blink. “12,195 bits per racer per race.”
>You’re stunned silent.
“…Wow. I don’t-…Wow.”
>Spitfire elbows you. “What, you said I was smarter than I let on!”
>The two of you laugh.

>>42461048
>Once you both calm down, you point to your pack in the corner.
“Look, point I’m making is, see that? Know what happens if I push that thing too hard?”
>”You don’t race and we rip on you?”
>Oh were it so easy.
“It burns out, blows up on my back, and then I go splat from three thousand feet.”
>Spitfire winces. “No helmet help there…”
“Yeah, so I gotta be anal retentive about keeping it maintained.”
>”So what’s your point?” she asks, rolling onto her back and looking up at you.
“Point is I’m in deeper shit if my partner blows up and THEN I go splat.”
>Spitfire rolls her eyes. “I aint gonna explode…”
“No, but you could totally burn out. That wild child party devil reputation exists for a reason and it’ll sneak up on you if you let it.”
>Spitfire is silent for a long bit as she chews the inside of her cheek.
>”…Know what I think?”
“Hmm?”
>Spitfire rolls off your lap and trots to the stairs. “I think I’m hot as balls and wanna cool off. Pool party time!”
>You faceplam.
“Spits!”
>Spitfire looks back at you and giggles. “But hey…I’ll meet you halfway, huh? If this starts to effect my races, which it TOTALLY won’t, then maybe I’ll listen to ya about this. But you gotta show me some proof, okay?”
>You groan.
“It’s not like I can –make- you listen otherwise.”
>”Damn straight!” she says before winking and blowing a small peck. “Thanks for worrying, handsome.”
>Spitfire heads upstairs and leaves you in your chair with your face in your hand.
>That just meant you’d have to keep an eye out, right?...And make sure that she didn’t blow out during a race.
>You sigh and stand, that pool was sounding good for your Saturday.
“Hey yo, have you seen my black and red flame trunks?” you ask as you climb up the stairs.
>You needed to take a break from the job too once in a while, after all.

>>42408026
Why do horses have no sense of personal space.

>>42461278
look, to what basically is the Goddess-Empress of Ponykind even much lower on the power curve of Big E, customs and standards are just mere suggestions meant to make life easier instead of rigid rules

>>42461308
You do Celestia a disservice comparing her to someone who got blown out by a random priest.

>>42461659
Also Big E is WAY more powerful than that

>>42461052
sptfr

>>42462797
I wrote the story because there wasn’t enough of her

I wonder how much prompting you've have to give an ai model before it could pass a Turing test to write an AiE story.

>>42461308
Don't compare everything to Warhammer, don't make us cringe.

>>42464334
How’s he walking on clouds

>>42464745
Sheer willpower and spite.

But he doesn't have to in this case, the recruits have their wings tied.

>>42464962
I thought pegusi hooves were the magic parts

>>42465226
C-cute…

took the day to make a spruced up story list. matching the stories up between the links, filling in tags, mare of interest names, synopsis's, and making sure links were updated to ponebin and such. if anyone wants to take this and add to it, by all means. not sure how much will power i have to keep going. in the very least, this covers both the Completed List, and Stories by Pony lists
https://ponepaste.org/11293

>>42466503
This is very good work and it’s appreciated, I urge any interested party to save the link and possibly be patient with it because I can almost assure you that I’ll forget by the time we need a new thread

>>42466765
alright, glad it looks good. depending on how im doing tomorrow ill see about adding from the other links as well, but i worked on it for about 6 or 7 hours today so i might take some time to let my brain decompress kek

i have been utterly taken by the incredibly autistic idea of a merc and his heavily damaged Armored Core ending up in Equestria

>>42466802
Go write it

>>42466791
Do what you wish, just keep them locally saved or remind me when we get closer to the end of the thread

>>42467184
no worries, i have it in a notepad file just in case. since the formatting is bare minimum, its easy to just copy paste the thing if needed

>>42466802
>Giant Tirek fighting an AC

=Aces High 18=

>Goddamn these bleachers hurt your ass to sit on.
>You’d chalk it up to being designed for different anatomy but you’d been here years now. Was this what you made your fans sit on?
>You’d talk to Fancy about it.
>Soarin’ was lounging next to you, both of your eyes trained on the sky.
>Spitfire soars above you going through cloud rings and loops, running a simulated obstacle course the techs designed.
>She was pushing herself hard.
>All in prep for the big race.
>The finale to all of this.
>Soarin clears his throat next to you. “So…think she’s ready?”
“Think any of us really are?”
>Soarin shrugs. “Get back to me in a few days…”
“After the race?”
>”I always bet better after the game is done, don’t you?”
>You sigh.
“At least we’ll know the field…”
>”Everyone’s gonna know the field, its bucking Canterlot.”
>THAT had come as a surprise, them holding the race IN Canterlot.
>Streets were being cordoned off and residences notified as the city was turned into one big race track course.
>The Princesses certainly knew how to impress.
“You know anything about this mystery team we’re racing?”
>Soarin’ shrugs. “Not really, I’ve been so focused on us that I haven’t even noticed competition. Apparently they’ve been making waves, though. Haven’t lost a race.”
“Really?”
>”Really really.”
“Great…”
>That stunk. The saying in the circuit went “If you’ve never lost once you’ve never played fair.”
“We’re gonna have to keep our eyes open.”
>”Eagle eyed, not a thing’s getting past me.”
“There’s a spider on your nose.”
>”GAH BUCK.” Soarin’ explains, panicking to get the insect off.
>While he does that, the orange streak in the sky rockets to the ground and lands gracefully with a flap of her wings.
>”Time!”
>You click the watch in your hand.
“Uh…Three-fourty.”

>>42468051
>Here it comes.
>Spitfire takes a deep breath.
>”FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! CELESTIA DAMMIT! SHIT! ASS! FUCKING GODDAMN-“
>Spitfire begins to snort and stomp around on the bleachers.
>”Three-fourty isn’t gonna cut it during the race!”
>She flares her wings again.
>”I’m going back up, see if I can knock this down to two minutes.”
>Whoa wait what?
“Spits, no.”
>Spitfire turns around and glares at you a bit.
>”-What-, Anny?”
“Did you totally forget what we talked about? Let me fill you in, this is that burning out thing I talked about.”
>”It not being horsecrap then doesn’t make it not horsecrap now.”
>What?
“Spits, that’s totally what it means.”
>”Is not!”
“Yes it is! Now chill out and at least take a break first before you dive back into the air, huh?”
>Spitfire snorts. “Oh I’m sorry, I forgot I stopped being captain when Anny was worried about me.”
“It’s not like that Spits, come on.”
>”Yeah? Then what’s it like, Anny. Cuz from here it looks bad.”
>Okay, now you were getting kind of annoyed.
“God forbid I don’t want to see you overcompensate and cost us the race, saw enough of that in Zebrica, thanks.”
>”Oh fer, I didn’t see you!”
“Then you failed a spot check because I think I was closer to your ass then than I’ve been since we got together!”
>”If this is you two talking, then I don’t want to even imagine what your sex is like.”
>The two of your glare at Soarin’ who casually sips his orange soda.

>>42468053
“You messed up.”
>”-Excuse- me?” Spitfire says, riling up and perking her ears.
“You heard me.”
>You point up.
“Up there, basically the entire time, your wings? They were so angled forward that you couldn’t even get the thrust to outrun an old lady, let alone win a race.”
>Harsh but true, if she couldn’t get her angle for her wings right, she’d be dead in the figurative water.
>”Bull! You show me!”
“You’d be able to tell if you were capable of self-review during times like this!”
>You tug at your hair.
“Shit! This is –exactly- what happened with Dash!”
>Spitfire rolls her eyes behind her goggles. “Reeeeal classy Anon, comparing me to your ex.”
“Totally apt in this situation and you fuckin’ know it.”
>Spitfire sits down and crosses her hooves, at least she wasn’t in the air…
>”Oh this I –gotta- hear.”
“What’s to hear?” you start. “This is –clearly- psychological with you hypercompetitive types. How else can you explain a complete and utter lack of ability to notice when you’re at fault for something?”
>”Oh and –you’re- so pure, eh Anny?” Spitfire spits, growing frustrated. “You come into our team and what, think you got the ability to throw a bunch of shit around just because you built a pack?”
>Ow.
>”Need I remind you that the entire REASON we’re here in the first place is because you were too slow to keep up with me in Zebrica!?”
>You’re mad.
>You’re about to go Krakatoa on her when-
>”Whoa whoa WHOA! BREAK IT UP!”

>>42468063
>Soarin’ steps between the two of you and pushes you apart with his hooves.
>”Fuckin’ damn…” he says, chewing on his straw. “I thought my little quips woulda let the steam outa you two, not riled you up more.”
>”Psssht. You oughta know there’s no stopping Anny when he’s on his soapbox, Soar.”
>Now wait just a goddamn min-
>”Spits, blow it out your ass. I saw the same shit angle that he was talking about, I just didn’t say anything. It’s fine if YOU wanna go slow, but some of us don’t have Playcolt centerfolds to fall back on if this goes under.”
“There’s always your music career…” you mumble.
>”Shutup.”
>”Spitfire grits her teeth. “You –would- take his side.”
“THANK you, Soar.”
>Soarin looks over his shoulder at you. “Anon, shut the HELL up. I get that you wanna help but there’s a fine line between helping a partner and being an obnoxious ass about it. Not even gonna mention how you dragged your bullshit with Rainbow Dash into it when it didn’t have a place here.”
>It’s your turn to cross your arms and look away.
>It’s silent for a bit on the bleachers.
>”Look, I get that you two are both too proud to do anything about it on your own, you big fat idiots, but you HAVE to put this shit to bed for all our sakes.”
>Soarin’ gathers his drink and begins to trot off.
>”Or else you’ll BOTH end up burning out.”

>>42468064
>You and Spitfire sit in silence for too long.
>So you do something about it.
“He’s right, you know.”
>”What?”
“That we’re both too proud to smell our own shit.”
>”Oh, so now you admit you shit?”
“Everyone shits, Spits…”
>Spitfire closes her mouth and looks away before sighing. “Yeah…”
>I mean…
“Well I –hope- they do, otherwise-
>”Meant about Soarin, Anon.”
“Oh.”
>Spitfire rises to her hooves. “That Celestia-damned idiot has always had his head on straighter than me, still dunno why I’m the leader and he isn’t.”
“Because leaders need to do more than have their head on straight, they have to inspire the people under them.”
>Spitfire looks into the clouds away from you. “…You think so?”
“I’ll tell you about Batman and Superman one day, it’ll make sense then.”
>Spitfire kicks an invisible pebble off the bleachers and begins to trot down.
>”I’m…gonna crash at my place for tonight…maybe a few nights, get my head on straight.”
>Fuck…
>You can do nothing but nod.

>>42468066
“I’m gonna…go listen to shitty music I liked as a teenager and remind myself of every time I screwed up while my humble pie cooks.”
>Spitfire pauses down the steps and looks back to you. “You don’t burn out either Anny, okay? Please.”
>You cock an eyebrow.
>”I may push it but you can’t be everywhere, keeping every plate spinning, solving every problem. Sometimes…we gotta crash and burn.”
“And what do we do when we can’t do that or else?”
>Spitfire shrugs. “Swallow our medicine and drop the excess baggage off the flight, anything to go faster. I’ll see you later.”
>Spitfire takes to the sky and heads towards the Academy.
>You’re left alone on the bleachers looking up at the clouds.
>Someone once told you that any problem could be solved in some way by going fast enough.
>But it was clear you weren’t going as fast as you could be or should be…not with how things were. The last few races were great but…championships were a whole other level. Not being able to pull it off here meant all that would be for nothing.
>You had to kick it up a notch, take it to the next level.
>You feel your stomach turn to steel in determination.
>…Now how the fuck were you gonna do that?

>>42466802
>Hey Twilight pull my finge-oops.

>>42466802
dew it

>>42466802
wouldn't it be a bit too... out-of-place?

>>42464334
Anon Y. Mous, the cuddle monster

>>42469506
He prefers “cuddle warrior”

>>42469501
it would have to be incredibly reserved when it comes to actual usage of the AC for that exact reason - maybe it should be a NEXT, so there's reason enough to avoid repairing it and powering it on. could be a tale of an augmented freak trying to bury his past and embrace his future
i should probably just go give it a shot at this point

>>42469501
You clearly weren’t around for all the Warhammer and Dark Souls crossovers of yesteryear

>>42470235
better. I was kinda skeptical the mech would become used as some form of sledgehammer against anything that scares ponies or something, but personal drama cooked in the "what defines a human?" sauce flavoured with cybernetics themes someplace so far removed from home? Yea, hit me with that!
>Concept of Gordon Freeman appearing in Equestria from some shenanigans crosses my mind

>>42470698
Mechs can be easy to balance out if you give them limited uses. Like it can turn on three times before it’s out of gas

>Outta the car, greenbean!
HOO! BAD BOYS
WHATCHA WAN'
WHATCHA GONNA' DO

>>42470912
>"You're not the normal ponice."

>>42470698
Gordon just wants to rest.

>>42471247
>"I'LL take it from here."

>>42466802
What's he going to do? Fend off an invasion from the Giant Lands?

>>42471626
Those shoes are the real crime.

>>42471739
They put the 'fun' in functionally retarded footwear, excuse you, and all the ponies will want hoof Crocs now, too.

>>42471741
Still a class a misdemeanor

>>42470912
How’s he use the switch?

>>42470698
Ponies trying to figure out how a giant mech works could be fun

>>42474025
>the first to figure it out is Pinkie Pie

>>42474415
>"Party core!"

>>42474862
>Caramechdansen blares in background

>Somehow, it felt like it had been a very, very long time since you were in the basement of Twilight Sparkle's library, which, in a way, you suppose it had been.
>10 years had passed since you had last been here, 10 years since you left for Equestria's capital, expecting to be gone… only a week?
>A month?
>Not too long, for sure.
>You would return, your research on making your way back to your own universe would resume, and everything would go as planned.
>But of course, as you learned on that fateful day a lifetime ago, nothing goes as planned.

>What exactly had happened, when was the divergence point?
>Thinking back, you suppose it began after Twilight reconciled with her friend Moondancer, now your closest colleague, after a series of coincidences at a book and coffee shop.
>You smiled - it was a fond memory, and suddenly recalling it like this made you very happy.

>Once upon a time, a lifetime ago, you had thought friendship was useless, Twilight was a tool to achieve your ends, her friends were annoyances to be avoided.
>You cloaked yourself in cynicism and misanthropy.
>But, somehow, that violet unicorn had pierced through your cold, hard armor, and all you could think was how glad you were that she had done that.
>For now, for the first time in your life, you had friends, true friends.
>And you suppose that was why your project - discovering a Theory of Everything, Including Magic - had slowly but surely faded into the distant background of your mind.

>You walked over to what was once your desk (and suppose still was, considering how covered with dust it was).
>Left there, among other detritus, was an apparatus of test tube clamps and magnets and wire, a tiny electric motor, powered by a magical battery.
>It was one of your first explorations of the wonders of this world's magic.
>Of course, when you hooked the wires up again, the battery had run dry.

>>42475145
>Somehow, it felt like it had been a very, very long time since you were in the basement of Twilight Sparkle's library, which, in a way, you suppose it had been.
>10 years had passed since you had last been here, 10 years since you left for Equestria's capital, expecting to be gone… only a week?
>A month?
>Not too long, for sure.
>You would return, your research on making your way back to your own universe would resume, and everything would go as planned.
>But of course, as you learned on that fateful day a lifetime ago, nothing goes as planned.

>What exactly had happened, when was the divergence point?
>Thinking back, you suppose it began after Twilight reconciled with her friend Moondancer, now your closest colleague, after a series of coincidences at a book and coffee shop.
>You smiled - it was a fond memory, and suddenly recalling it like this made you very happy.

>Once upon a time, a lifetime ago, you had thought friendship was useless, Twilight was a tool to achieve your ends, her friends were annoyances to be avoided.
>You cloaked yourself in cynicism and misanthropy.
>But, somehow, that violet unicorn had pierced through your cold, hard armor, and all you could think was how glad you were that she had done that.
>For now, for the first time in your life, you had friends, true friends.
>And you suppose that was why your project - discovering a Theory of Everything, Including Magic - had slowly but surely faded into the distant background of your mind.

>You walked over to what was once your desk (and suppose still was, considering how covered with dust it was).
>Left there, among other detritus, was an apparatus of test tube clamps and magnets and wire, a tiny electric motor, powered by a magical battery.
>It was one of your first explorations of the wonders of this world's magic.
>Of course, when you hooked the wires up again, the battery had run dry.

>>42475147
>The experiments began with some promise, after all the engineering had been ironed out, but after the first few tests, a never-ending list of problems began to appear.
>Voltages were too low, focussing magnets and lenses were not calibrated properly, masses of various targets were too high or too low.
>You did not have the conveniences of advanced human society.
>For one, you had to create, from scratch, the techniques and machinery for cooling helium to liquid, which of course produced a few groundbreaking papers authored by your students.
>You of course could have just used Moondancer's design, but reaching the energies to probe the strong and weak nuclear forces required a much more sophisticated machine.
>You almost chuckled thinking about how you thought it would all be so easy, that your titanic intellect would take you all the way to the finish line in no time at all….

>Twilight descends the stairs. "Everything alright?" she asks. "You look pensive."
"Yes, that is exactly how I feel. It has been a long time," you say, setting the motor you were fiddling with down. "I was not here very long, but an important part of my life happened here."
>Twilight sighs. "To an extent I don't even want to talk about it. The person you were back then… it makes me sad to think about, but I'm so proud of how much you've grown."
"Thank you," you say with a nod. "I can never express my deep gratitude for everything you've done, everything you taught me."
>"Just the fact that you're still here is enough for me," Twilight says.
>"When you first got here, all you cared about was getting back to your world. Do you still care about that even?"
"To a certain degree."
>"But do you even think you can anymore?"
>You sigh and say something you rarely say:
"I don't know."

>>42475148
"But, at the same time… if I could, would I leave now? I have a life here. I have… friends here. If I create the technology to leave that all behind, why would I choose that path?"
>"Are you saying you don't even want to anymore?" Twilight asks.
>You shake your head.
"I don't think I do."
>"But you're always talking about how much progress you've made! Every week it seems like you've jumped science forward another 100 years -"
"You'll forgive me one last lie, won't you, Twilight?"
>"What?"
"Perhaps it's not a lie, per se, but it's deception. In truth, I don't think I can ever complete the theory. Every time we run the experiments, it just pushes the threshold farther away. It's like the secret is running away from us, faster and faster. I'll rewrite the equations, fix things here and there, and then we start over again. Ad infinitum."
>Twilight picks up your old journal with her magic and flips through it.
>There's plenty of physics and math in your untidy scrawl, plus some plain English and symbolic logic from when your mind deviated to the questions she posed to you about friendship.
>After a while, there are just blank pages.
>She hands the journal to you.
>"I had a thought, and hopefully I'm wrong about it," Twilight says.
"What is it?"

>>42475150
>"That, maybe, in changing your thoughts on friendship, I somehow blocked you from returning home."
"Don't say such things. That's illogical."
>"Magic isn't necessarily logical. And friendship is -"
"Please don't finish that sentence."
>Twilight smiles. "Is being here bringing out a bit of the old you? Deceptive, sociopathic Anonymous, the great genius who needs no one."
>You sigh.
"Perhaps that is who I was. I regret being that person. If only I could have known what I was missing."
>You kneel down and wrap your arms around Twilight's neck.
"Thank you again. For everything."
>She leans into your shoulder.
>"And thank you, Anonymous, also for everything."
>"C'mon. Pinkie did want to throw you a party to celebrate your tenth anniversary of arriving in Equestria. You promised…."
"That I did," you say. "That I did."
>You take one last look around the basement.
>In the corner, your hazard suit sits in a heap, almost the same as you arrived in it, black with the red stripe down the middle.
>You adjust your red tie, check the cuffs of your black suit for any dust, then climb back up the stairs with Twilight.
>You take one look back from the landing, and then close the door.

>>42475153
https://pastebin.com/G8zMHzxc

According to Pastebin, I first published the (re-written) first chapter of Mad Science 10 years and 16 days ago. I never finished the story. Consider this the ending. I actually thought about writing something like this for a little while, but I only broke through the writer's block tonight. A lot of things have made me reminiscent lately. Anyways, see ya later.

>>42475170
Hey bby, good to see you. Thanks for the green.

>>42475170
>pastebin
would you mind your stuff being reuploaded on ponepaste.org?

>>42475181
You're welcome.

>>42475367
It's already there.
https://ponepaste.org/11297

>>42475367
Read the room bro