Thread 42438167

I'll bake us here some muffins, my cutie mark I did not choose.
My name at birth was Ditzy but ponies call me Derpy Hooves.
I've gathered mail information to enact my plans some day.
I've hardly any bits to spare though I work these jobs all day.

Watch as I throw an anvil at her
Trixie's enslavement not OK?
Pinkimina's "cupcakes" will be better,
Wait till Derpy gets her way!

Moving crew. Do you know this Dinky Doo? sometimes mama must deliver letters to the mare on the moon.
Make some bubbles, toss your troubles. Muffin loving, bullies chuffing. Bit coin making, mean word taking. Ditzy Doo-ing, Derpy hooving. Stormcloud bouncing, debts recounting.

Ditzy if you're hearing this it means I'm now far gone, please take care of our child and accept it and move on.
I've gotten the info now to make that stallion pay, he thought he could just up and leave when I told him there's no way.

Watch as I throw an anvil at her
Trixie's enslavement not OK?
God help this Derped pony urgently
I know he'll come home some day
I know he'll come home some day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5Z1Dkt0qTo

I have to say while getting the piano video link I noticed there's more than one highly viewed video of "Pinkie's Brew with slurs removed" do zoomers REALLY? This is worse than when I saw another video where Derpy saying "retard" was bleeped. I mean, do they REALLY? I have to say I loved Derpy, I was watching various places.

I wanna pound Derpy's fat retarded ass
Muffin stuffed ass, crossed eyed scrunched face.

This isn't really related but I was watching a youtube channel that I like, and suddenly they had a section where the two guys who make the videos started reading fan letters. And each letter the fan said what age they were or grade, it was all 9 year olds and grade schoolers, and I just started crying unironically. I'm going to be 30, it's over, I'm so sad....
Anyway back to talking about sex with MLP characters, a show for adults. I was writing a fanfic, I haven't written a proper fanfic in so long because it's a waste of time and I hate everyone who will end up reading it, FamFiction is just a huge waste of low IQ idiots, but I wanted to make a fanfiction about Derpy but I need the name of her Special Somepony.
I was thinking of Long Lance, a unicron with a spear cutie mark. He needs to be wealthy enough to have his own home which he has Derpy live in. Then he also needs to leave her. Being part of the Equestrian guard he could have excuses to accomplish that. Or he could be an artist, having a decorative flower cutie mark or oragami, or a mallet and chisle and be a sculpter, which is why he loves Derpy's perfectly sculped bubble flank. Maybe he has a european accent, you are so beautiful Derpy, but he only loves her for her body which anyone but Derpy would be able to see.
We have some ideas here for My Little Pony, Hasbro will probably steal them because they're so bad.

>>42438167 (OP)
Derpy is a derp

>>42438167 (OP)
Yes, I love Derp. Thanks for this. Derp is good.

Derpy is the only young mare with a child. I don't know why they put Dinky Doo into the show. In the Cutie Pox episode or whatever it was they put a smaller pony with derped eyes, was that a joke about Derpy having a sister maybe at first. But Derpy being a retard who gets taken advantage of by a stallion is funny to me. And her being tricked and easily persuaded into all sorts of things. Same reason she'd be so great with Trixie, well you can put that in there to.

>>42441910
>Derpy being a retard who gets taken advantage of by a stallion
>And her being tricked and easily persuaded into all sorts of things
Why is this so hot

>>42441929
Becaues you're a degenerate sadistic thug just like your father and 90% of this fandom that loves to corrupt everything it touches. You will never be a true virgin, you're as far away from a virgin as possible. No unicorn would come to you.

>>42441935
Zip it tranny

I wonder if it's fun to bounce on stormclouds. Derpy's smile after being struck by lightening only makes me think she likes it and bounces on the clouds so that she does get shocked because she likes the feeling, really why else choose a stormcloud. It's actually a common pegasi addiction, they call it "shocking" or "thunder strucking" and Derpy being the little retard that she is just gets into it, or maybe that's even why she's retarded from doing it so much kind of like how druggies get all messed up, that would explain why she sometimes doesn't have derped eyes early on. But that's all kind of stupid obviously I like her being born derped. Rainbow doesn't even help Derpy while she' bouncing on the stormcloud, she just knows Derpy is a lost cause like when you see drug addicts it's just "well, what can I do." You keep getting your moments of fleeting pleasure Derpy. It's so sad, I can't believe MLP has such a dark secret canon lore to everything.
Kind of like how Two Best Sisters made me think of Celestia and Luna a certain way for a while, Derpy's character to me now is just the UFP version. "Stand still while I murder you a bunch." "Ah dammit I got sand in my vagina again!" "My ass has super natural powers! Behold!" Even though I'm into domination 100%, Derpy has the only muffin-fed flank I want on my face, just for a moment. I was doing the opening sex scene with her and her special somepony and I always feel like I have to explain every emotion, how mares feel pleasure from making their mates happy and stallions have a selfish sinister pleasure. Because everyone must have the same lust-type as me. OH! You know what, Rainbow talks about how Ditzy flew west to get the south birds or whatever, which by the way I need to rewatch that, did she say west? because west was the Everfree forest and border of Equestrian in the original canon, maybe that proves it wasn't. But the point is maybe when Derpy goes off and gets lost that's when she meets her special somepony Long Lance who is on some guard outpost and OH I can already see the whole scene.

One thing I wish was that there was more types of clouds and weather for her to mess up with. the sky and clouds really cant' do much. Lightening, hail. Okay. Maybe somehow she ends up getting raining brimestone, flaming hail on Ponyville. Got some ideas for MLP, Hasbro will steal them because they're so bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs92C0Kalp8
That's another thing is to decide how Dinky is like. Because she's not a baby, she looks the same age as the CMC. Dinky doesn't have a cutie mark she should join the cutie mark crusaders. And then she can invite them over to her house with Derpy. "Your mom's pretty young ain't she, she's as old as mah sister." Dang Derpy just has such nice foalbearing hips, what a sexy sexy mare. Also Derpy is still trying to get Dinky to transition away from her teat milk. Also I think the Amethyst situation is terrible, the fact Derpy has to give up her child to some other mare who just screams at bread all day. Derpy is a perfectly capable mother. These are all important plot points.

>>42441952
What did you just call me?
Here's proof that I am not a tranny:

https://picshost.pics/image.php?id=HL7LCA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCLe9SIus5Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GH56t7a4-tw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zqlVJNsI4o

There was a parody of Cupcakes song sung by Derpy about Muffins, but I don't know where it is, wait yes I do, it's deleted like everything in the fandom deleted and then "would you like to spend an hour looking for it?" ...no, not really.

>>42442069
The person who made the original muffins video randomly uploaded a sequel a few years ago. it has no views but the change in age is so funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tcR19y7GPM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqfSAH91304