Thread 42522017

>"Spike! Where have you been? I was sorting out books on shelves from F to H, and I really was hoping you will help me out."
>"Well, I didn't ask you beforehand, cause I thought it was obvious you should give me a hand!"
>"After all, it was you who put "Hazardous aspects of teleportation magic, volume two" next to "Ethereal navigation manual", wasn't it?
>"Yeah, you put it there, because you were sooo in hurry to visit Rarity."
>"No, I couldn't just put the book where it belongs! I had to check that every other books on those shelves were ordered!"
>"And since I already started, there is no reason not to sort other shelves. Come on, we have a lot of work to do."
>"What? You need to go somewhere again? Going to Rarity again I suppose, huh?"
>"Very well! Sometimes I wonder what is the point of having you as my "Number One Assistant" when said assistant isn't around when I need him"
>"No, I cannot join you, I have a dozen of bookcases to sort out. Sure, say hello to Rarity for me."
>door creaks
>"Sigh"

>>42522017 (OP)
Hey Twilight, can I borrow a book?
I was chatting with Rarity the other day about books an-

>>42522022
>POV: You are a street shitting Jeet from India and you found the Portal to Equestria in the Ganges river

Why is twilight trying to guilt trip spike? is she jealous of rarity?

>>42522138
Spike is like a stress toy for your emotions. You can say whatever you like to him. It's fine. He can take it. He's a big boy.

>>42522147
You sound like a massive faggot


>>42522171
mindbroken

>>42522017 (OP)
Stop pushing twispike.
Stop sucking cocks as well.
Spike is the worst character in the show and deserves nothing.
He's a kid so your obsession makes you a pedo.

>>42522017 (OP)
>the fucks a hand?

>>42522321
>implying Spike despite having hands himself, wouldn't know what a hand is

>>42522017 (OP)
>>42522321
>>42522597
Spike was born into and grew up in a pony-dominated society, so despite having hands he probably wouldn't see it like that. For this reason as well, and bevause she is a pony herself, it would make more sense for Twilight to say "lend me a hoof" instead.
This is also part of the reason why humans are such a draw for mares. Having hands lends itself to the "exotic exciting foreigner" archetype.

>>42522017 (OP)
I wish I had a henchmare I could call my Number One Assassin. Wait what was the question again?

>>42522017 (OP)
>"Sorry, darling, it seems that Spiky-Wiky is my assistant now. But don't be so upset, I am sure you know where to find another magic dragon! And frankly speaking, considering what Spike told about your rather irrational behavior lately, I will take a better care of him. At least until your temper settles down. Ciao!"

>>42523005
Twilight takes care of Spike while taking advantage of him, Rarity only takes advantage of him

>>42522027
>Portal to Equestria in the Ganges river

Why Twilight is so rude?

>>42522024
giraffeshine...

>>42522017 (OP)
The reason autists fall in love with ponies is because they don’t have the toxic femininity of real women. Ie shit like this.

>>42522022
Quick switch to Cozy Glow so she can attacked Twilight for you to make your escape!

>>42523796
pinkie is a qt

>>42522017 (OP)
You sort all your books alphabetically by title instead of arranging them into sections by subject matter and then alphabetically by author's last name? Are... are you for real? Is this some kind of joke?

It's not funny. I'm not laughing.

Twispike ftw

>ywn teach Twilight the merge sort algorithm and explain its properties to her and then use the time you saved to fuck like rabbits

>>42524006
True

>>42524542
They would never.

>>42524621
Quite the opposite, they regularly have role-playing sex sessions during which Spike pretends to be Shining Armor and Twilight pretends to be Rarity. They are so used to this, that their fantasies started to affect their perception of reality tonthe point that they see chemistry between real Shining Armor and real Rarity. Like, during gatherings with friends, Twily can let a remark like: "Damn, Rarity really gives my brother "fuck me" eyes, " and then everyone is like "What the fuuuck"

>>42524177
To be fair, that is how they were arranged when Twilight just arrived in Ponyville. In second episode Pinkie helps Twilight to find book about Elements of Harmony by checking E section.

>>42522017 (OP)
>"Oh, Spike, you're back. I finished sorting the bookshelves. No thanks to you."
>"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure she DID thank you. Don't know why ... anyway, you'd better be ready to help me move these volumes to the reference section tomorrow."
>"*Somepony* thought it was a good idea to stick the entire Encyclopedia Celestia in between "Shortstack's Guide to 7-Layer Wedding Cakes" and "Sugar Swirl's Sweet Souffles."
>"No, I don't see what's so funny about there being 14 volumes on the Princess's culinary history, and I bet they COULD all fit on-"
>"Oh, hardy har. Whatever, just get some rest so we can work tomorrow."
>"You're going out with her again?"
>"Gee, Casanova, leave some for the rest of us."
>"Spike, you know I have work to do here in the library. Real work! It's not like I can get around like-"
>"She said WHAT about me?"
>"Y-you know better than to tell jokes like that, Spike. Now get up to bed already."
>"Just go!"
>door creaks
>"Sigh"

>>42524841
Not sure what underlying point this greentext supposed to convey.

>>42525133
Rara wants a 3-way and Twilight doesn't know how to feel about it.

>>42524542
This artist makes some of the most deranged shit

>>42525390
Russian girls tend to be like that

>>42525452
Ooooh Russian? That explains SO much. At least it's not smudgeproof, that shit is absurd.

>>42525390
>This artist makes some of the most deranged shit
Such as?

>>42525907
diapers, blood, futa

>>42525907
Abuse, gore, rape, murder. That kind of stuff.