Thread 127465878

>>127465878 (OP)

Long ago, in the crispy skies above Mount Gravy, Bono, the sunglasses-clad God of KFC, ruled with a greasy fist over the Golden Bucket of Eternal Chicken. This bucket was no mere vessel—it was said to contain the original 11 herbs and secrets of the universe, passed down by the Colonel himself in a flaming drumstick dream.

But trouble brewed in the indie heavens.

Radiohead, the glitchy titans of emotional dissonance, had grown hungry. Led by the cryptic warlock Thom Yorke, they cast lo-fi spells to steal tenders from Bono’s sacred supply, whispering lyrics like curses: "Everything in its right place… even your chicken."

>>127465885
Coldplay wasn't far behind. Chris Martin, wielding his piano like a battering ram, led a band of pastel crusaders to batter the Bucket—literally—with the beat of "Viva La Fried-a." They believed fried chicken was too mainstream for the gods and deserved to be reimagined as kale.

Furious, Bono descended from his Zinger chariot and called forth the mighty Waffle Wars of the Side Dishes, summoning coleslaw cyclones and biscuit meteors. The arena? The Flaming Drive-Thru of Olympus, guarded by statues of The Colonel weeping gravy tears.

But just as Bono struck Coldplay down with the power of a Double Down, a voice echoed through the steam.

Jim Morrison emerged from the mist of deep fryer oil, wearing a flame-broiled crown.

>>127465893
"You never saw the signs," he said, licking a suspiciously char-grilled Whopper. "I’ve always been with Burger King."

Bono's sunglasses cracked.

"But Jim," he gasped, "you sang about breaking on through..."

"Yeah," Jim smirked. "Breaking through to the flame-broiled side."

Suddenly, a black van labeled J.S.C. screeched across the clouds—Jewish Section of the CIA. Out stepped agents with gefilte grenades and espionage onions. Jim handed them a thumb drive shaped like a pickle.

"The Bucket is compromised," he whispered.

>>127465901
Betrayed, battered, but still crispy at heart, Bono fled to a hidden bunker beneath a shuttered Long John Silver’s, vowing to return one day… with Popcorn Chicken vengeance.

The End…?

Or is it just the beginning of the Fast Food Pantheon War?

>>127465878 (OP)
next time use drop shadow and stroke so the text stands out.

>>127466287
COA

>>127466287
Hello, hello