Thread 507171608

You are at home when suddenly you hear someone knocking on your door.

You look outside and see this man.

What do you do?

>>507171608 (OP)
>racks glock

He is kinda hot.

Tell him about the benefits of BBC

>>507171608 (OP)
>Average tinder date

Grab the Crisco. Say "Come in!" in a sweet voice. hehehehe

>>507171608 (OP)
as you were..

>>507171608 (OP)
>>507171790
>>507171815
Idk but picrel is what I did at the shooting range the other day

>>507171608 (OP)
Ask if he can help clean me up because i shit myself.

>>507171608 (OP)
Turn 360 degrees and walk away

>>507171608 (OP)
>come on in officer, doors open

>>507171608 (OP)
I never answer my door.

>>507172027
Would be kino AF if Trump would address the nation in a Cobra Commander suit and scream "MAGA" and hiss at the end!

I'm 36 years old, they don't even want me at this point unless they're out of zoomers to throw into the meat grinder.

Have fun dying for Israel you dumb kids LMAO

>>507171608 (OP)
Woah. Israel needs me??

>>507172173
WWII draft was up to 60 in some countries.

Tell him he should kill his commanding officer for committing treason by sending Americans to die for Israel and then shoot himself in the head as well

>>507171969

BBC? Big Bacterial Claws? Gross Anon

I WILL NEVER FACKING FIGHT FOR JEWS

I WILL POOP AND PEE MY PANTS TO AVOID IT

NO PUSSY NO WORK

NO PUSSY NO WAR

>>507171815

Not supporting your Lbgt / Faggot and / or Judeo "Conservative" mating seasons Anon

>>507171608 (OP)
if he's zion don approved 70% of muttland would gladly go out and meet him

>>507171790
If they barge in, going full Donny Devito

>>507171608 (OP)

Lmao, Fafo, lazy glownigger bait thread

>>507171608 (OP)
Dump a mag of real fucking NATO about knee level, then release the claymore roombas.

>>507171608 (OP)
Tell him his facial hair is not to the the standard and to shave that shit right now

>>507172173
sure ya it's just a mistake

>>507171608 (OP)
I have nothing in my life so I've seriously considered joining the military. But after recent events, that ain't it chief.

Are they going to kick the door in? That is what criminals do. Criminals who kick the door in are at risk

>>507171608 (OP)
I'd tell him that if he wanted to larp as a zogbot that he should wear the correct camo.

>>507171608 (OP)
Breath a sigh of relief, because he's there for my asshole neighbor in the apartment across from me.

sorry buddy, i got flat feet

>>507171608 (OP)
Nothing, he's knocking on the neighbor's door

>>507171608 (OP)
Immediately yell at him for violating ar 670-1 and tell him to do push-ups.

>>507171608 (OP)
>You are at home when suddenly you hear someone knocking on your door.
>You look outside and see this man.
Uh, no I don't? Don't you guys get unsolicited knocks? Is your spam digital only? Unless I'm waiting for someone (I'm not, dad has the keys), in which case they call me instead if knocking, because of unsolicited spam knocks.

Hide in my bathroom because I'm a draft dodging, faggot zoomer.

>>507171608 (OP)
I thank him for picking me up on our way to work

>>507171608 (OP)
Doors unlocked bro, do come in.

>>507171608 (OP)
I'll fight for jews, but i'm not fighting for China.

Can't wait for the Webms of dead US zoomies

>>507171608 (OP)
I go kill sandniggers for the glory of greater Israel.

>>507171608 (OP)
>get back in the super soldier nephilim clone chud terra needs you or whatever seig heil

>>507171608 (OP)
attempted kidnapping self defense situation

>>507171608 (OP)
"Sorry, man, the zoomer guys are in that unit over there. I aged out of the draft last year."

Get on my knees after putting on my mom's night gown and sone lipstick, answer the door with a "hellllloo sailor~! Let me help you with that." and suck his dick like a real man, slobbering all over that juicy slab of man meat. After he had an orgasm I'd run away into the woods and hide in a tunnel until WW3 ended, like bugs bunny did. Also this isn't gay if it's to survive.

>>507172931
Kicking in my door would be the last thing a person would do in their life, because they would be dead.

>>507172084
bro is that a bolt action 50 cal 12 gauge shotgun with leather armrests?

>>507173882
controlled by gamma light
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW2Kg-p5uFo

>>507174024
a man actually typed this out and clicked post

>>507173927
I urge everyone to mentally prepare for such a situation.

This involves coming to grips with your own mortality, which was completely lost by boomers.

But Gen X, Millenial, and Zoomers. We can digest this idea. If you can take at-least 2 of them out, you have now exited the game with positive KDR.

>>507174024
BASED and the only REAL answer itt.

>>507171608 (OP)
penetrate with my bibisi o algo

>>507174024
so true actually
this anon is a survivor and a trve patriot

>>507174246
He's just faggot with a will to survive, using the only tools at his disposal.

What type of American are you?

/s

I love pretending that there's even the remotest possibility of a draft so that I can preen like I'm a fucking badass rebel for sitting around while nothing happens.

>>507171790
a rifle round will punch thru the door, wall, any armor they have and even their stupid fucking cars out front. why would you use a damned pistol when you've the home field advantage and know the entire layout of everything around your area?

>>507172173
lol average age of the draft will be 40. theyre gonna send the middle aged people before the young. get ready bud

Saturn is manipulating you to arrest me, I'm sorry.

>>507172173
Are you white? they'll draft you. If your white and don't join the fight against them when it starts, it can be safely assumed you are their supporter and anything done to you is morally justified and the correct course of action.

>but I wanna stay neutral
lol
lmao

>>507174871
COPE
see you in iran nigga

>>507171815
your one of the khazarian pechenegs these types here against our policy

Better watch the vids of the old soldiers talking about what they had to do. It's going to be important.

>>507171608 (OP)
Jokes on you fucko, I am too fat to be useful. Close the door on your way out.

>>507171608 (OP)
>Shalom, goyim
>Oh, sorry sir. We didn't know. Have a nice day.

I told you before. I'm retired.

>>507174253
Anon, you know drones are a thing now right? They send in a force handing off their stupid little SUV's like the jews taught them to while rolling thru a city, just visualize that drone coming in. We've enough ukraine footage, you should know what that image is going to be like.

>aim for 2
fuck that.

>>507171608 (OP)
Just don’t answer lmao

>>507171608 (OP)
Sergeant come back with your CO. I want him to explain why you keep bothering the brigade commander

>>507174090
its a ptrd anti tank rifle

>>507174090
retard

>>507171608 (OP)
Ask him if I can help round up zoomers and if I'm allowed to beat them if they resist

>>507172224
i'm a 39 year old 350 lb heavy smoker. what are my odds for dying for israel?

>>507171608 (OP)
Tell them I’m busy eating pho and to fuck off

>>507171608 (OP)
I would wear him down by using Jehovah's Witnesses tactics and don`t stop rambling about "all the exiting things that are written " until he caves and decides to leave.
Then i would get the fuck out of Dodge

>>507175361
You can peel potatoes and clean the latrine after I take a fat, bowl clogging dump

>>507171815
This. I'd invite him in and seduce him with my twinkish ways,

>>507171608 (OP)
I would open the door and ask him why he wants an overweight, myopic, asthmatic thirty year-old shitposter.

>>507176182
How can you be overweight at 30?
Dam bro. You're wasting the best years of your life

I'm over 40 and have hemophilia. They did not want me in my prime, they don't need me now. There are plenty of zoomies out there.

>>507175462
Yeah I don't know how to deal with drones, and no one actually does.
I have Ideas based on shit i learned in physics, but it's not a immediately deployable product. I.E. I'm not going to be sitting with my microwave, plugged into my solar panel, with my fish tank light remote and expect serious results. it's not automated and i'd need an array of sensors and a bunch of other shit for it to make a damn. I'm not doing it. I can think of better ways to extend my effort than creating an above ground anti drone bunker.

>>507171608 (OP)

Open door wearing a soiled diaper

>>507171608 (OP)
STOP KNOCKING ON MY CARDBOARD HOUSE OR IT TOPPLE OV-

FUCKING HELL YOU DESTROYED MY HOME.

>>507176353
I know, but I'm working on it. I only have to lose twenty pounds.

>>507171608 (OP)
chat him up and reminisce about my time in service

>>507176099
>AAAAAAA my lumbago
>faint

>>507171608 (OP)
tannerite roomba go boom

>>507172173
Lol same, I tried to join the guard like 15 years ago and because I have a screw in my foot they wouldn’t let me join. Tough luck, can’t be drafted I guess

>>507176440
its not their drones I am talking about. We are not the ones who have to defend everything. We are not the ones who have to roll in on easily tracked routes from their emplaced fobs and bases.

>>507176035
pretty good

>>507171608 (OP)
Hi, Eglin.

I would move around behind him and strike him in the back of the head with a blunt instrument along with his battle faggot.
I would drag them both inside and hogtie both.
I would move their vehicle several blocks away and walk back.
I would wait for them to regain consciousness after identifying the senior.
I would pretend to interrogate the senior.
Every time he hesitated to answer, or was evasive, or just pissed me off, I would do something horrific to his junior.
I would film the entire ordeal.
I would not touch the senior, just ask questions I'm interested in the answers to.
When the junior finally succumbs, I would dig a hole.
I would dumb the senior, still alive, still hogtied, into the hole, face up.
I would dumb the corpse of the junior on top of him.
I would place a lid over the hole with a pipe to provide air flow.
I would likely integrate a quiet solar powered fan to maintain airflow.
I would bury the senior alive under corpse of his junior.
I would release bits of video in such a fashion as to suggest they are both recoverable.
When caught, I would do everything in my power to make the ensuing court case into a giant circus.
While the prosecution struggles to make a murder case without bodies, I would leak their grave location online.
Next to the motor would be a SSD drive connected to a camera.
In order to convict me, the footage of the senior's final moments would have to be introduced into the public record.
I will make his children watch their father die in the worst way possible.

>>507176902
>We are not the ones who have to defend everything.
Yes, unfortunately we are, that's why we are here.

>>507171608 (OP)
Even in Ukraine they don't grab people straight from their homes

>>507178480
they do.

>>507172084
Nice 75 sq ft closet apartment. Maybe turn that barrel to your mouth

>>507174141
Working the machine
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GNth4yhlffU&pp=ygUUZW1waXJlIGFudHMgZ29yaWxsYXo%3D

>>507171608 (OP)
This man is lost, I drive him to the border so he can draft Americans

You weak seppos won’t do shit wit ‘muh gunz’
You will fight for your jewish overloads on the orders from your commander in chief

A big sexy bear at my door?
My prayers have been answered

>>507171608 (OP)
give my pastor's letter informing him im a conscientious objector

>>507171608 (OP)
Dammit, this will be the largest NATO operation, it'll probably last a couple decades and a couple hundreds of thousands of young white men.

>>507171608 (OP)
Be pumped up because he is knocking in my neighbors door.

>>507176035
350lbs is avg weight of someone your age. In the high elevation areas of Tehran i'd suggest bringing an oxygen tank.

>>507171608 (OP)
>put diaper on
>shit mad hard
>piss mad hard
>grab backpack
>open door in only a backpack and a full diaper
SIR YES SIR AT YOUR SERVICE
>shit more

Sup, nigga? We going to whack some fuckers? Let's saddle up and ride that dee-oh-double gee-why.

>>507176035
Don't worry, running 5 miles at 5am will take the pounds off you real quick

>open the door
>no sorry sir I am schizophrenic and I see people and hear voices daily. I also am very paranoid and need medication
>oh ok sir, have a great day!

I'm not dying for Israel, I've been a psych ward and can't be drafted. I even tried to join the Navy when I was younger to be an Astronomer in DC. I told the recruiter I was schizo, and he just laughed and said no, I can't join any branch of the military. I'm not even registered for the draft anymore. Sucks for you guys, but I am insane, but I'll live.

Three ropes in the morning.
My traitorous life, 79 years old.
My neck, it snapped
To the swing of gallows

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H4LU-wwa-0

>>507172084
your bed is up against your front door?

>>507176140
this
>make love, not war, soldier

>>507171608 (OP)
Nothing, because he's knocking on the door across from mine.

>>507171608 (OP)
I’m commissioning.

>>507171608 (OP)
-puts hat on
'how can I help you soldier?'

hey


help me out with this globalist
https://banned.video/watch?id=684b792f79316d4c41369f8e
>>507171608 (OP)

>>507171608 (OP)
>2000 YEARS OF GAY SEX ON DEMAND MONKEY NIGGER!
>*hits monkey nigger with club*
>ugghhh w-what the fuck…
>EVER HEARD OF ABNER LOUIMA MONKEY NIGGER?!
>what?
>*pull monkey niggers pants down*
>*sodomize him with broomstick*
>TODAY IS THE DAY MONKEY NIGGER HOPE YOU LIKE RECTAL BLEEDING AHAHAHAHA!
>AAAAAAHHHHH FUCK, MY ASS STOP AHHHHH!
I don’t know man.

You won't do shit

>>507171608 (OP)
>GET OFF MY PORCH, MILITARY NIGGER!
>*nigger leaves because I said nigger*

>>507171608 (OP)
I know sign language so I'd pretend to be Deaf and not answer the door.

>>507171608 (OP)
>You are at home when suddenly you hear someone knocking on your door.
go away, faggot.. I'm playing vidya

>>507175361
That's not the point. The point is mass human sacrifice. They will paint another country/alliance as the aggressor and "your" government as the "defenders of justice" in reality this is just a false dichotomy. There are two opposing sides of a modern conflict, the conscripters and the conscripted.

>>507185724
You don't really think this will work, do you?

>>507171608 (OP)
Make him a cup of coffee and then show him my medical records that prove I am very much medically ineligible. Then wish him luck drafting my annoying neighbors

>>507185810
It's ludicrous.

>>507171608 (OP)
Pull him inside and give him the cock he so desires.

>>507171790
>*jams*

>>507185810
drill sgt's exist because people want to be there inside the military complex, what happens if they are forced to drill people that not only want to be there but also hate it and everyone inside? calling them niggers and fags is going to be their lightest problem.

>>507171608 (OP)
Another thread where everybody ruins their dodging chances just because they want to say something funny or try to intimidate the draft officer. If you really want to dodge, then you have to avoid all contact. Obviously the first step is to not immediately present yourself to him, in otherword don't answer the fucking door and just wait for him to go away. He doesn't have the legal authority to do much at this point. The thing with governments actually prosecuting draft dodgers is that they go after the low hanging fruit first. The people who they've identified as obviously making attempts to dodge. People who they've made contact with are lower on the tree than those who they can't even confirm exists. DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR.

In the long term, if you're serious, consider living elsewhere. Move in with a family member or friend or something but don't legally change your address.

>>507177263
Based.

>>507171608 (OP)
I pee, shit, and vomit near the crack under the door so that his boots get filthy and smell like a sewer.

>>507186569
Ehh ya Hooser

Ignore it, say nothing do nothing. Never speak to them, never sign anything, never acknowledge anything if it escalates the answer is "no comment without my lawyer present".

I bet mandatory military service like this and did not the take the vaxx lets make it 3 for 3

Elites cant force you to do anything because of their weird karma shit. They count on you caving in

Accuse that shave chit piece of shit of stolen valor and hand him a flyer for my militia where we will teach him proper military discipline

>"get dressed"
>open door
>what is it sir?

>>507171608 (OP)
Grab my albuterol inhaler, take a puff, and wave him away.

>>507174668
Based

>>507171608 (OP)
You knocked on the wrong door son...

>>507172009
Kek

>>507172084
Do you sleep in your hallway kek

>>507171608 (OP)
Hello good morning I am exempt bye

Just kidding, I'd ignore it and make them figure that out themselves if they were really so inclined. Imagine answering when you aren't even ineligible kek. Shameful display.

>>507177263
Based

>>507171608 (OP)
I'd probably just jump the fence in my backyard.

>>507187839
I can't find that video anymore. But it won't be you who sends you. It'll be your garbage family. I'd suggest killing them and then shuttering the house down if the draft happens and we get a draw cause it'll be beneficial to them to send you. It's a crazy Russian lady saying she proudly sent 4 of her sons off to the war and would just make more. Kill her and never think about going outside unless it's specific duck and run time.

>>507171608 (OP)
kill.him

Love how all these fat out of shape mutts larp as Rambo. No fatty, you're not shooting anything but your own brain if you get drafted

>>507171608 (OP)
But i had breakfast this morning?

>>507189207
im not a tough guy but years of being an incompetent retarded manchild incapable of feeling shame has steeled me for this moment all the same

uwu sowee officer i did a stinky! :3

>>507171608 (OP)
This is just a datamining thread to see which houses need MRAPs sent to their house and which just need a squad of officers. Niggers tongue my anus, I'm landing at tilted towers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0Uh3OJCx3o

>>507171608 (OP)
Go into the roof

>>507171608 (OP)
Jump from the window and run for my life.

>>507172084
bro got the world at war noob cannon

>>507171608 (OP)
>>507187549

>>507171608 (OP)
Be as antisemitic as humanly possible and tell them that you would slaughter everybody around you the moment you get anywhere near a gun. They won't draft you then.

>>507171608 (OP)
>drop pants
>get boner
>open door
can i help you, sir?

>>507174024
Ha ha ha based strategy anon, t-tell me more...

>>507188075
I actually am ineligible, so my garbage family would be irrelevant for once kek. But if there were ever the opportunity for them to fuck me over like that, I'd know to get my ass as far away from them as possible once and for all. It's the people with adequate families and uneventful pasts with them who would do well to remember that even the people closest to you could disappoint you in the most dramatic way at the absolute worst time simply because you were never in a situation to see a true demonstration of their character before. Those Russian guys could have thought they had a perfectly decent mother right up until the moment she tossed them into the meatgrinder.

>>507185579
>There are two opposing sides of a modern conflict, the conscripters and the conscripted

bro is cooking

>>507171608 (OP)
do a 360 and run away

>>507171608 (OP)
Draft officers will be shot
Survivors will be tortured
Their families will be hunted and killed
Jews will be kill on sight.
The jews and the government do not have the ability to enforce a draft, they will run out of all personnel even if a small percentage of the population violently rebuke the draft.
You can't do shit.

>>507175462
How does draft teams going around slaughtering people going to fill the ranks of the military?
They are there to conscript people, killing is working against their goals.
Also as the other anon pointed out a population maintaining a positive KDR against the military will win because the military loses a potential conscript and multiple trained personnel. Deploying drones will just turn more of the country against the government.

>>507189654
They don't need to worry about that, it's keeping the neighbors quiet after the first round of door knocks, followed by hiding their draft officers casualties.