>>511031081
The fluorescent hum of the Gateway 2000 tower was the only sound in Bartholomew “Barty” Butterfield’s meticulously organized den. Outside, the suburban birds chirped their insipid morning tunes, but inside, Barty was on the hunt. Not for squirrels, though he had a particularly effective squirrel-chasing spray bottle for those rogue nut-hoarders. No, Barty was hunting truth.
His fingers, slightly arthritic but surprisingly nimble from years of aggressive solitaire, danced across the beige keyboard. Each click of the mouse, a relic from a simpler time, was a decisive blow against the forces of… well, he wasn’t entirely sure what forces, but he knew they were out there. Lurking. Probably in Davos.
"They thought they could get away with it," Barty muttered, his voice a gravelly rumble that could only come from decades of shouting at television news anchors. He squinted at the glowing monitor, a bulky CRT that hummed with the effort of displaying his latest conquest: a grainy JPEG of what appeared to be a slightly out-of-focus dog wearing a tin foil hat. Proof.
His current mission, code-named "Operation: Geriatric Gamer," involved deep dives into the treacherous waters of online forums, where the true patriots (and surprisingly few actual veterans, despite the avatars) gathered to share their findings. Just yesterday, he’d uncovered a shocking revelation about the secret ingredient in artisanal sourdough bread (it involved fluoride, naturally). Today, he was on the trail of something even bigger: the global cabal of cannibalistic elites.
Barty adjusted his bifocals, the slight tremor in his hand a testament to the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He typed furiously, his internal monologue a breathless stream of consciousness. They eat babies. I saw it on a meme. A very credible meme. From a guy named 'TruthSeeker69' who had a really cool eagle avatar. He wouldn't lie. He couldn't.
7/22/2025, 5:37:48 AM
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