Thread 81764948

I am a stuck up, timid, neurotic overthinking person. I am super inhibited, vain and selfhating. I came to the realisation that im just not a fun guy to be around. How can i change that, learn to accept myself and simply be?

>>81764948 (OP)
>How can i change that, learn to accept myself and simply be?
Go on Grindr and get TOPPED

>>81765132
i wish i was gay, but i feel only aroused by biological women

>>81764948 (OP)
Excercise. It makes you feel better after a while, and you don't dwell on nonsense as much.

>>81764948 (OP)
same. I'm also extremely narcissistic and honestly kinda cruel

>>81764948 (OP)
just talk to people more. It is a skill like any other the more you do it the better you get

>>81766276
i do, im pretty build and was boxing for 4 years, but it didint change a single thing about my mindset
>>81767388
>>81767477
checkem
i suppose i need to get more exposure, but when im out in public i think everyone laughs about me or thinks of me as lesser, i cant look strangers in the eye. Im mostly out when im under the influence of drugs

>>81767553
You need a mindset shift, no one is going to give you a second look in public, get over yourself. Then you need to feel some kind of pride as a man, have a set of values and stick to them, try out hobbies and make new friends. I only got a girlfriend because a guy I know in boxing, set me up with this girl from his work. Finally, be the person the kind of woman you're interested in, deserves. The things my girl says to me that really make me proud of myself, is that she likes that I'm the only not after her body (hard because shes literally a fucking model), and she appreciates that I compliment her as a person. So identify behaviors and mindsets that would attract the women you want, and then live them out. It won't feel natural at first, but then the actions become the norm, and that causes a mindset shift. Praying for you bubba, it'll be okay

do shadow work. Meditate, reflect on your life, your biggest fears and insecurities. If you are that anxious around people there's probably some delusion preventing you to be fully present in the moment. Find out where it comes from and try to make peace with with your inner critic. There's nothing that can fix you but yourself. So be brave, face your demons and try to not kill yourself in the process. See it as an exercise to get to know yourself fully, so you don't always fall back into the same loops of negative overthinking

>>81767824
thanks for taking your time to respond with a thought out answer. The problem is not only on a romantic level, but on a platonic level too. The problem is, that i grew up very lonely in my formative years, i learned to spent time for myself but im now so far removed from my peers that i just cant connect. I dont have that certain it. I can fake smalltalk when necessary, but the facade starts to crumble as soon as someone digs deeper. I wish i could find a girl to be alone together with. But these girls are hard to find ( because they make mostly solitary stff too) and dont appreciate strangers coming unto them
>>81768270
ive done enough selfreflecting in my life, i tried so often to overcome my personality, i think i have to go the other direction and dumb myself down, maybe i will pick up drinking. But as it is right now it cant go on, but i still appreciate you for answering me

Bumping this effort thread

>>81769069
thanks for the humble bumb, are you in a similar situation anon

>>81765164
This. Gays don't know how good they have it.

>>81768384
>Don't "pick up" drinking as if that would ever solve a problem. Be a man, figure your shit out. No worthwhile woman would want to be with a guy who gives up and recedes into drunkeness. As for your platonic and romantic relationship struggles, Jim Carrey said "Solitude is dangerous. Its very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how calm and peaceful it is. Its like you dont want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy." So I say, you have to treat it like a muscle, if you've never worked out, then doing anything at all is hard, but you have to push through the discomfort again and again, until you're where you want to be. You have to be willing to go out to a coffee shop, and just wave at strangers and make chitchat in line. And then maybe move to some kind of exercise class like boxing or yoga, and make some friends in a new hobby. Then you move to seeing attractive women, and you ask for their number. This is the exact layout I followed. It took me a while to figure out, I always felt socially lacking behind my peers, but now at 20, I'm the happiest I've ever been, I have the strongest bonds with my close friends and I've got my first girlfriend. I'm serious when I say everything will be okay, and I am praying for you bubba

>>81769432
aight, Chat gpt anon i will take your advice, i think im rather starting with opiates again, no drinking for me

How often do you smile? It's important to do that. Laugh.

>>81769475
Dont take my advice then, die alone and a slave to your vices. I'll be aryanmaxxing my swedish queen :)

>>81764948 (OP)
I have basically the same problem - once I became aware of how much of my introversion was caused by a constant stream of self-judging thoughts and constantly judging others it was kind of shocking to me. The two things are very closely connected, how you think about other people is how you think about yourself.

Books that really helped me to realize how neurotic the stream of negative thoughts in my head were, and how to let go of them were The Untethered Soul and The Power of Now. I recommend reading them if you don't mind books that are a bit spiritual/esoteric.

>>81769878
It's not the glass house but what the person does to cope when they're inside it that is often the most harmful

>>81769209
Very similar. I used to binge drink but I started to hate vomiting more than I hated myself. These days I smoke pot but trying to quit. I don't like using drugs to cope anymore.

>>81764948 (OP)
>asking a board full of stuck up, timid, neurotic, overthinking, super inhibited, vain and selfhating people how to not be like that

>>81770278
Who else could possibly have insight on the matter but stuck up, timid, neurotic, overthinking, super inhibited, vain, self hating people?

>>81770359
You are right about the insight part, i guess you can read some interesting thoughts on how to cope better. This anon >>81767824 is right about the mindset shift, easier said than done. For me what helped somewhat was what he said about feeling some kind of pride as a man, if you have some chad ancestor you can try to use him as a role model and look up to him as inspiration, this has helped me a lot during hard moments. But i am not in a position to tell others how to live considering my life is a mess itself, i am just giving my two cents. I wish you all the best anon and hopefully you get over these struggles eventually.

>>81770570
This anon is always right, y'all best listen when a real nigga speakin on faks

>>81769611
brother, if you really typed that all out, then im sorry for suspecting you, but your text just somehow made me think of chat gpt
>>81770570
i wish, i tried to stay principled, but im a weasel and abandon them at the first step of trouble
but maybe i will relaxe more with age, but im cutting down on my general substance use, that may make it a bit better but not sure, drugs were my only cope so far, the years before drugs iwas the same as now but didnt have copes, it was pure hell, but lets see maybe it will workout this time. wish you the best too
>>81770278
i had the hope that some far-gone turboautists float around here, who are already supercontent with themselves and dont have the need to impress anybody and just float through life like a jellyfish through the waves. Im sure they have some good tips

>>81771732
I just read what that guy said and that is in no way anything ChatGPT would put out. The fuck is wrong with you retards today?

Simply be what? if you hate it, change

>>81771944
come on man, i know i was too harsh, but it somehow doesnt read like its origin is normal human text. Maybe like the script of some interview or stuff like that, but not typed out at that moment

>>81771984
simply be, just existing. Going with the flow, being zen whatever you want to name it

>>81771732
Its alright bubba, I know I type in a strange fashion. But it is important you stay principled, especially when its hard, because thats when it means something. My most recent job was at a car dealership, and every manager including the owner begged me to be a salesman. But I said no, even thought they said it could 5x my income. But I stood my ground, every time anyone asked. I said salesman are liars, I've watched my coworkers commit fraud to get a deal done. I will not be a part of it. They all said I had their respect but they didn't understand. Now thats a small thing, but the way you do anything, is the way you do everything. Be a man, be virtuous, earn the life you want. Good luck bubba, good luck thread.

>>81770570
>For me what helped somewhat was what he said about feeling some kind of pride as a man,
Honestly why I want to get into martial arts.

>>81772680
I highly recommend any martial art, even the fag eastern ones. Boxing developed my confidence, body, gave me new friends and a fantastic God fearing mentor. If all goes according to plan, I'll be starting my own training classes soon. I can't recommend learning to get your ass kicked enough.

>>81764948 (OP)
In person or or is that other judgment of you based on your typing style? I have a completely different demeanor in person and typing is not a accurate representation of me in the slightest.

>>81772680
The gym helps kickstart feeling like "da man" but nothing compared to my woman saying she felt safe with me, comfortable discussing sensitive topics and while speaking is one thing, when she grabs your bicep and squeezes, thats a moment I can't forget. Nor when she squeezed my hand watching Brad Pitt fuck in that F1 movie, she got fidgety and leaned in close. Those things, and being able to provide in small ways, like telling her to never worry about paying when shes with me, that is what brings masculine pride. You can do it anon, listen to the other robots, you WILL be manly, you WILL have friends, you WILL get hot (white) gf and you WILL get pussy!

>>81774739
This but (Latina) for me

>>81774762
No dude, they're all crazy. Even the ugly ones. You need a good girl beside you for life. One with a good culture and solid parents. White cultures are the best bet followed by asians (but they're too attached to parents). Robots, we must Aryanmaxx. Not for race, for culture. So ig latinas are okay but only if you colonize the disrespectful and neglectful culture out of her.

>>81774837
In person I will and have before. Girls easily become addicted to my cock as I break them and ruin their pussy. The addiction factor that enforces loyalty plus who I am as a person in love and care seals it for girls. I'm the one who has been pushing them away

>>81774739
I can do it anon, I will listen to the other robots, you WILL be manly, I WILL get hot (white) gf and I WILL get pussy. I already have friends, (You).

>>81772709
on the og op, and martial arts (thaiboxing) was a net postive for me too, i stayed fit, had something to pass my time and the vague socialisation and talking to other people outside of family did good, but my personality stayed exactly the same. My selfesteem is still super low so im kinda envious that it all worked for you so good