Thread 81785977

Millport crocodile rock edition

Kin yi tell me how dae a get there x

Nae aggro
Nae fighting x

l sleepy x

>>81786262
Just woke up

Called in sick, no waging for me today

thinking about Crossmong's mammy

>>81786349
No pay for you then my lad

>>81786418
Indeed that's how it works de lad

For me it's look east

>>81786464
I still get paid when I call in sick

up at 6am to drop the gf off at work
long day of lazing around and napping for me de lxds

rave tonight, told myself i cant have any more mcat but i've got half a gram sitting in me drawer would be a waste not to wahey

>>81786536
Why turn up at all then

>>81786550
I can't relax properly without drugs. I get incredibly restless, bored and irritated if I don't have any tasks to do.

>>81786553
After two days you need a doctor's note

Anal king

All kicking off again, PoLICE everywhere

Not looking forward to telling your work mates how you spent your birthday at home alone posting on 4chan. Fat man child.

>>81786716
>man child
Says the person posting on 4chan

Another day, another dolly

>>81786757
How has that never been posted, what brilliant simplicity.

>>81786765
I posted it but on a different board

Hope we have another chill thread day. Yesterday was lovely.

I not that sleepy anymore. Nd its rly bright + sunny outside. However,I sleep now neway.... for my mental health. Good night friends
>>81786349
Xx

>>81786807
I'm really tired atm

>>81786812
Get yourself a sleep mask crossy. I always put one on if I happen to wake up 5ish in summer. Can't stand the brightness me.

Another pointless day in my empty life. Cringe.

>I'm having a bad, bad binge
>If you take it personal that's so cringe
>Ugh, despicable minge

Got the AC started already, hot today, but it's cooling off fast in my room. Down to 20 degrees already.

>>81786934
>AC on
Bloody hell arent you posh one.

>>81786529
Looks a little bit like David Icke

>>81786934
Never getting an AC me. Not a yank am I. I will sit here and complain about the heat like a proper British lad is supposed to.

2.5 hours to go til it's over for 2.5 days

>>81786954
Damn right lad. Imagine running into your neighbour when taking the bins out and you go 'phwoarrr hot day innit' and he goes 'nah mate, been chilling under me AC'. You'd deck the cunt. That's not an exchange that's ever meant to happen in the UK.

>>81786977
Sweating your bollocks off in summer is part and parcel of living in Britain. It's as much part of our cultural heritage as beans on toast.

>>81786977
Definitely nonce vibes to seriously install AC in this country

>>81786909
>Another pointless day

Big AC pipe hanging out my window. Couldn't give a fuck me. It's cold x

>>81786998
You need a hard drive pipe checking your computer for dodgy images

Sick to bastard death of it all, sat here staring at my PC till its time to go to the Slots and the Gym

Going to shave my legs/bollocks

In bed, playing with my penis, tired

Seething, lost a charger. Where could it have possibly went. Did someone move it. Was it put in the bin by accident. So annoyed.

Been listening to cowboy songs recently. The guy who sung Big Iron? Marty Robbins made other bangers as well.
https://youtu.be/aYHScoVXxBM?si=EIIRYQ3qy80cz9jK

>finally match on Bumble
>set up a date
>goes well
>second date
>she invites me back to hers
>getinthere.gif
>walk through the door
>cool as anything
>she's got AC
>do a 360 spin and walk straight out again

>>81787060
we've had the same thought in life
getting them pits shaved too no smelly armpits for me

Did one leg and then my shaver stopped working

day 1 of that nofap, can already feel the energy radiating around my bollocks

thanks a lot phillips. shite oneblade

Why do people do this? She had 9/10 tits

nevermind its started up again

>>81787158
thought about getting wax strips lately, on boots it has them listed under women's but I'm sure you can get men's ones too

>>81787176
I use one of those for my beard, used to use the 3mm trimmer but I've lost the clip on, now I just go to 1mm and let it grow

Already 27 down here, garn be a grim few days ahead

>>81787194
No AC?

>>81787194
>tfw live on the east coast where its 17/19

>>81787177
Many reasons you'll never be able to fathom from your boxroom

SSEASIDE GAMING LIVE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qlh5xy-XBhQ

20th not looking too good either

>>81787200
Of course not lad, do you think i'm some soft cunt or what.

>>81787216
We should establish /britfeel/-land on that island in the top left corner of Scotland. Kick out the locals and just NEET it out there in 14 degree weather.

Ooooh it lush apparently marks electric bike is coming today. Wonder how he managed to find 600 pound for one?

>>81787214
Might get Road to the Masters meself. It might be for me.

>>81787223
The outer hebridies? Trump's mum was born there

already a river of green forming on feel street

>>81787216
No need for AC for our DVDlad and crossy sitting nice and cool in 20 degrees it lush

Eating hot food today was a mistake. Soaked in sweat. Might get some ice pops.

>>81787246
Corr give us a lick of your armpits then

Isn't hot food/drink supposed to technically cool you down or some shit?

>>81787263
Wut
I mean that's obviously wrong but you can also just test it. Never had coffee or something when it's hot? Compared to doing the same in the winter. It definitely does not cool you down.
Source: trust me bro.

>>81787274
something to do with sweat idk im not a fucking nerd.

For me its an ice cold Pepsi Max and an ice sneed

Stroking my smooth shaved legs

>>81787263
It makes you feel cooler but it warms you up

>>81787285
Well it's wrong. But it IS the sort of thing someone scared of sunlight would say.

>>81787299
Let me subscribe to your onlyfans!

Another glaucoma appointment today, turns out this clinic I have been attending can not do the procedure I need, so they are referring me to another hospital, where I get to start the process all over again. Almost arguing with the hot optician lass as she was saying I need to go to hospital for medication if I keep having these attacks, but when I asked for meds from them she kept saying "oh meds won't get rid of the glaucoma". Took 15 min of me repeating "but I can get meds from hospital but not from you?". Anyway, I have the meds now, but back to square 1 regarding appointments and treatment. Well, I think I know what treatment I'll have, a fucking laser burning a hole into muh eye. Awesome.

Plan of attack? Get high, chill out, take a pregab. And as always, that starts with a choon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clpc5gUblWo

Just think of all the women out there feeling uncomfortable in this heat with sweaty armpits and sweaty fannies. It not rite.

>>81787345
lots of sweaty flip flopped feet going *slap slap slap* as they stomp around their local supermarkets

MILFs in flowy dresses showing a bit of ankle.
Corr, give me that over a barely covered sloot any day, desu.

Helper's World well and truly over. It's an end of an era. The new Seethocracy will be taking over.

>>81787365
Trip on sean no one else cares about you pal

>>81787242
Don't know how accurate that is my phone is saying it's to reach 25 degrees in a few hours. Already sitting in my underwear.

>>81787343
>meds don't get rid of glaucoma
No shit ya stupid bitch. Fuck the lot of 'em. They're always fucking you about.

>>81787367
spent ages looking for this thinking it was toni de vit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rW8dg7drXA

>>81787438
At least I have meds now, so not exactly back to square 1. Wish I would have taken the pregab last night, as I was stressing a bit this morn, and getting would up by my mums dog. My mum felt bad as she was meant to take me, but had stomach issues, and think me getting annoyed made her think I was getting annoyed at her.
>>81787456
Choon. I enjoy a (not that really) ye olde choon, desu.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ9rhV3odCI

>Dexter: Resurrection
KINO

>>81787489
*getting wound up

11.18 already and no seething, no dollies, no personality drama. Curious isn't it.

https://youtu.be/WSKyASxPChk

>In 2016, she released a single, "Humdrum Drivel"

>>81787497
2 forums I post on have also noticed the lack of drivel today

>>81787497
Was it really HHL this whole time? Lmao, big if true.

finished my work for the day already corr

>>81787520
and on the weather forum

>>81787522
ngl, he been most posters tonight x

>>81787527
Don't let your boss find out, they'll find something for you to do.

>>81787541
cuurse I won't mate, very easy to do when you mainly wfh

Worst part about the heat is not the heat itself but the fact people can't cope with the heat and start getting ratty and angry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1EOD9pADlQ
>>81787547
I bet that's why most people enjoy the wfh life, nobody monitoring what you're doing, looking for activities to "keep you busy".

>>81787552
Just imagine how ratty and angry he was right under the equator

>>81787216
Hopefully August won't be too bad considering we've had all the insanely hot weather this month.

Need to shave but I know it's going to be all sweaty and barely come off

>>81787493
Fucking Hell didn't know they were doing another sequel series. I'll watch it even if it's shite. I'm too invested in the Dexterverse at this point.

>>81787581
If using an electronic razor, could you use a towel to keep wiping the sweat off?

>>81787574
>Hopefully August won't be too bad
Anon...I

>>81787581
I've just finished shaving my legs and bollocks

Some great arse shots on the Wet Leg full performance on the BBC IPlayer

>>81787614
I told you this a few weeks ago when it was on. Did you listen to me then? HUH!?
I'm all for Rhian's new look I'd love to fuck her non-binrary arse.

I went to school and I got the big D

>>81787614
>he's looking at other women

>>81787618
>>81787614
Prefer Bob Vylan chants

Been eating too much. The glory days of ice cream must end. We cutting it right down. I'll miss my whole milk. I'll miss me haagen dazs. We on that fruit and semi-skimmed milk grind.

My favourite Wet Leg songs are Wet Dream, Angelica and Supermarket. Chaise Longue is good but you can't pick that it's cheating. New album out today so get in have to give it a listen.

>>81787641
https://youtu.be/AzUHNjKMeV4?t=777

Check this one, she has a beautiful voice

While we're on the topic I hate this cunt "noah kahan". Kept hearing that awful dirge about covid on a plane and just found out its some annoying twat called that

>>81787647
Don't tell me what to check I'm a bigger fan than you I've seen them live.

>>81787618
How the fuck did picrel happen in the space of 2 years

>>81787655
I wouldn't say i'm a fan, I'm not a fan of any music act in particular. I just want Rhian to peg me and also lick her armpits. I'm not a music fandom sort of person.

>>81787641
I can have chaisse lounge as a favourite.
CPR is good. I also like too late now.
https://youtu.be/Ianu7PBhJck?si=RnxJ8-zwEaUgW7D4&t=700

>>81787658
Either crack or Ozempic.

>>81787647
>Check this one

All of this talk, and nobody mentions how adorable hester is.
Baka.

Would people watch slots/arcade/seafront tour videos?

>>81787658
It's a persona and the look for the new album as Hester takes a step back into the shadows.
>>81787676
I was only messing with you anyway. Would prefer to peg her with my cock though.

>>81787693
People plural? Perhaps, I definitely would.

Maybe formal videos aren't for you, and the cheap and cheerful stuff would get you hits

>>81787688
I'm sorry I like Hester but I'm not attracted to her at all. Very masculine face and witch nose.

>>81787590
i enjoyed the prequel desu

>>81787641
they are absolutely shite lad

>>81787722
Fair enough we don't all like the same music. That's alright with me lid.

>>81787637
Get back on that cum slurping

Wonder what music Ruthmong listens to.

Seething mong boy has woken up, a bit late mind

I like me Peter Hitchens but I'm learning he was wrong about
>fat doesn't make you fat, it's the sugar that will do that
In fact, too much fat actually will make you fat and sugar is good for you. Can't go too wrong with moderation. It sad because fat in foods = lush.

>>81787744
He has a lot of odd takes, hes too dogmatic sometimes for his own good. Become Scrutonpilled as well

>>81787754
That pic is going to be you in 30 years

skip forward to 1min, for an absolute choon

https://soundcloud.com/taylorchra/kept-a-secret

>>81787754
I generally trust when R Pete is obsessed with something, he's usually right. Maybe not all the time though. I never read any Roger Scruton but he seemed decent.

I've read the abolition of Britain and basically everything in that he's spot on, on.

He is of course the most blackpilled man out there, and I doubt he actually is a christian by belief, just acknowledges the benefits it's brought to society.

>>81787768
Literally torture to my ears

This is a tune

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifBM3SY3G-s

>>81787780
>Philip Schofield - Life's What You Make It

>>81787796
Suprised no one ever mentioned that before. I bought it just before his scandel, had I waited a few weeks I could have probably gotten it in Oxfam.

I've never read it

>>81787782
Not my thing, desu, but thanks for sharing.
I;ve only heard this enigma song in the past.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6H30Pz42f-E

Who is this now? Booklad?

>>81787816
Don't think I've even heard that one before, I am quite a big fan of Enimga, this is by far their most famous, contains a nice bit of Latin too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F9DxYhqmKw

>>81787820
>Who is this now? Booklad?
Can you elaborate

>>81787828
I'll have a listen.
I don't speak or understand latin.
My favourite forren songs are
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_EJNjbc58k
&
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjCp5SGH3Bk

>>81787836
Just a noticeable amount of literature chatter and talk of buying books. Similar to DVDLad.

my recent reads

>>81787869
I've been making a few posts about books yeah. DVDlad is my physical media ally

>>81787874
>Heart of Darkness

>>81787874
>>81787877
Good on you lads. I shamefully admit I haven't read a book cover-to-cover for at least 9-10 years. The last one I remember reading in full was Candide by Voltaire.

>>81787898
>I haven't read a book cover-to-cover for at least 9-10 years

someone said i disappeared after my "le autism gimmick" was "called out"
it was literally midnight why would i be on my computer
i hate when some low iq anon tries to police me

>>81787898
Are you taking the piss? I posted about reading this the other week. Good novel. Very farcical from what I remember.

bit of sossy mashers for lunch if that's alright with you?

>>81787898
I studied literature at university but since I graduated I really swing in and out of the habit. will not read anything for a few months and then read two books within a few weeks. I've found the summer and hot weather has been really good for getting me out to the park and reading, sometimes with a couple of beers and a few ciggies x

>>81787914
gagged just from looking at it
i hate mashed potatoes and everything on that plate looks like its made of plastic

>>81787904
You really can't take any banter and you seem to just insult people whenever anything is said. Calling people low IQ is very rude when you're seemingly low IQ yourself as an adult who plays Roblox.

>>81787904
kek that was me, glad it wound you up x

>>81787921
that wasnt banter its just some freak trying to police me who has no knowledge

>>81787928
Any plans for today then? Get out in the sun and get yourself a tan.

>>81787921
spot on, really
>>81787928
it was banter. now fuck off out the thread again please x

Incelwalk has been cancelled. It's too fucking hot I'd be drenched in sweat after 5 minutes. Should've bought some gym clothes, at least it would have AC in there

>>81787908
No genuinely that's the last one I read in full and it's a long time ago, but I still have the book and actually bring it on holidays with me just to read a few pages to help me sleep.
>>81787917
Motivation to read is situational isn't it. I like the 'idea' of cozying up under a blanket in winter with a cuppa and a book.

>>81787884
Great nightclub. Loved chilling with the kids of Khmer Rouge executioners.

>>81787364
something very sexual about a woman in a nice summer dress
maybe its the thought of hiking it up and bending her over

Can't get past the fucking debt collectors in this game even with the Good Bill Payer buff. You can only change your name so many times and eventually they find you - losing all your idums this late in the game causes Mark to then get the sad, lonely, bored and depressed status effects - only way to cure those then is to drink alcohol and you need so much you eventually get the 'Yellow Mark' ending which is fucking disturbing.

>>81787693
i would watch arcade and seafront vids

Just been offered a job with the Federal Reserve in Washington DC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFCIgSfpalY

chuckled at this comment

It's too fucking hot lads I hate the summer so much

>>81787974
wonder what kind of brainlet sub room temperature iq you have to have to look at an image like this and think "yes those are words and numbers" and then post it on the internet

white man picking my food slop up, he shall get a tip

>>81788006
based. always support fellow whites.

>>81787693
People watch absolute mongs "reviewing" slop pizza for 10 minutes and somehow pretend it's good and engaging content.

>>81788006
I've had an Arab once say to me "Thank god they sent a white driver"

>>81788025
>always support fellow whites.

>lovely day isn't it?
No, no it fucking isn't.

32c outside, a nice cool 25c inside and it feels cooler than that
havent had to resort to the wet t shirt and sitting infront of a fan this year

>>81788040
Was in there briefly on Tuesday night for a swift pint. Great pub.

Got two more Hong Wong films on the way.
>knockabout (1979)
>dreadnaught (1981)
Both starring Yuen Biao. It lush.

>>81788054
Wet t-shirt sounds like that would make you ill. Probably a boomer granny myth, but y'know.

>>81787992
You going to move there or commute daily?

>>81788062
worked for me when it was like 38c a few years ago, was miserable in the heat until i tried that

>>81788054
Shippy used to do wet teeshirt competitions in Slough. That was before he became the Qa'im obviously.

>>81787917
Random question and a longshot - you use a Bob Dylan profile picture on anything perchance?

>>81787096
He was bad ass.

>>81787096
Also, honest.

Did somebody say Cowboy Songs?
https://youtu.be/LXCwlO2jnYU?si=ANApK1sBf03V6eTj

>>81788145
You killed the thread dickhead.

got me gig tonight, local, doors from 18:45 but will go from 19:00 to around 9 or 10 then go the tesco that shuts at 11 so I dont have to in the morning. Depending on how sweaty the venue is it might be sooner but it only cost me a fiver so whatever

Member when I was nu here and some lad told me /britfeel/ radio was country and western so I never watched it because I don't like C&W. Well, jokes on you, mate, you did me a favour.

>>81788242
I think that was me, lollers lad. Sorry.
I thought the radio was fun, had a good laugh listening to it.

>>81788082
>That was before he became the Qa'im obviously.

>>81788241
A few beers and a few tunes and home early. Sounds lush. Jelly you live so close to live music. Enjoy anon.

>>81788250
By the time I watched it was just Moni and some forin talking about racism, and trans rights. I have a faint recollection of an older one? It was just all lads having banter, SHOUT and other lads I don't know much about.

I know I've had a fair few shit days and weeks lately, but I have no doubt god is looking after me. Oh aye x

What did helperlad get banned for?

>>81788319
Posted a selfie of himself at Flamingo land

>>81788313
God doesn't like people don't procreate

Still here on his vpn keeping himself relevant deary me

Low intelligence posters and vague godcopes. Name a more iconic duo.

>>81788335
Blad's cock and Eva's arsehole.

garn shops now, it friday

>>81788335
>vague godcopes

>>81788307
There were 2 radio's, 1 loved to slag us lot off, the other was moni, ebin, shout, shut in, and a lad called cracky chan fan, it was fun, some sperging out and arguing, lots of fun though mainly. Oh and zoomerfag (will) became a regular. Yeah it was good fun, really good, IMO.

>>81788331
God loves everyone, but yes, he does want people to procreate.

>>81788350
Just a pattern I have noticed. This sort of secular person who invokes god randomly when it suits them but otherwise doesn't bother.

Britain is maybe just a few years from putting disabled people in camps.

A nice steady 22c here de lads. Not a cloud in the sky. Sitting in the garden with a book driving a poof juice (smirnoff ice)

>>81788358
What are you then, some evangelic fundamnetalist or an atheist?

Wanked to blacked porn on /gif/ again fml

>>81788359
Fuck up soft lad. If there's as many disabled as they say we'll rise up and take over.

>>81788361
You might even say I'm drinking it and not driving it.

>>81788355
>he does want people to procreate
So why don't you?

>>81788365
What the fuck we gonna do? Wheelchair cavalry charging into battle with spoons?

>>81788363
Like most people, I don't really know. I just don't pretend otherwise.

Wish I was in Shetland right now

>>81788371
Do what professor X would do.

>>81788371
A lot of alcohoics and drug addicts on bennies who will just go mental and riot the fuck. I'd be alright with shoving them cunts into camps to be honest. You're not disabled if it's self inflicted. Born with Autism? Fair enough. Self inflicted obesity or alcoholism? Fuck off away to the death camp.

Another appointmentham-on-the-naze, is it not

>>81788375
People in Shetland are cliquey as fuck.
Nice place but some of the people really suck.

>>81788361
>A nice steady 22c here de lads
already 31c here, probably a few more degrees to go too

>>81788375
If it's anything like that Shetland show it looks grim and dreary as fuck.

Ever been tempted to suck off a guy?

>>81788384
Appointmentington for quoth de lid?

>>81788088
I don't I'm afraid

>>81788370
we've been through this cdot

I was right about the humidity, its not as humid today and this is a nice dry and pleasant heat rather than the suffocating sticky bollocks we had before.

>>81788404
Like thousands of times.
>>81788407
Yeah no worries dude, just thought you were someone I knew.

>>81788404
Yeah I'd have no issue sucking off or handjob a shaven femboy. I'd probably fuck them up the arse too but only with a condom and if they've had an enema. Wouldn't get fucked up the arse myself, I'm not gay.

>>81788373
fair enough lad, but me, I do believe in god.

>>81788428
>with a condom

>>81788404
I have had a number of encounters with some charming Brazilian women who were born as biological males and sold their company for a period of time on birchplace. During the course of us spending time together as two consenting adults, I have performed fellatio on their not insubstantial members, always to the point of 'completion'.

Does that count?

shippy can't procreate because no woman voluntarily wants to carry his neanderthal seed

>>81788428
NTA but, nice bait faggot.

29 in Nottingham currently

>>81788430
It's not for me to try and read people's minds, it's a flaw I have that I do this. That being said I still think I'm right about lots of supposed online Christians, they don't really believe anything and they invoke belief very selectively. Idk you though so not saying that applies to you.

>>81788440
You've never had sex lad. I'm not trying to virgin shame, I'm just saying you don't have a clue what you're talking about

>>81788441
Not bait at all. I'm not gay, I'm bi with a 60 percent leaning towards women. Not super attracted to men unless they have feminine qualities.

You might think we live in a multicultural democracy that is accepting of both legal and illegal immigration at scales hitherto unprecedented in human history. But... have you considered that it's actually a fascist state with concentration camps?

https://www.lrb.co.uk/podcasts-and-videos/podcasts/the-lrb-podcast/is-this-fascism

Truly groundbreaking analysis from the contemporary left.

>>81788448
I have a sprog. You get handjobs from 50 ye old bored nigerian women.

>is thing le gay?
yawwnnnnnn

>>81788467
>a fascist state with concentration camps?
I fucking wish

>>81788470
What would you like to talk about? Post some interesting content x

>>81788472
You'd be one of the first mongs gassed lickle lad.

>>81788469
>I have a sprog.
oh sorry, I thought I was talking to cdot, nevermind.

Besides, if you really were sexually active, you'd know how the game works, you'd know full well people even uglier, more retarded and with worse social skills than me shag all the time

Imagine guzzling down a cold frothy pint of Shippy's neanderthal seed in a beer garden on a sunny day. Or gathering round the christmas tree with your family on christmas eve, everyone enjoying a warming cup of Shippy's neanderthal seed.

>>81788427
no worries my leed. I do often think I sometimes give away too much info in here but thankfully no one has recognised me yet

>>81788483
>people even uglier, more retarded and with worse social skills than me shag all the time
Yet you don't. Why?

>>81788481
>Productive member of society
>Loyal to the cause
I think I'd do pretty well personally.

>>81788494
Doesn't matter. On account of you posting here you'll be considered undesirable and thrown into the oven like a frozen pizza.

>alkies
>druggies
>spastics
>criminals
>womfy britfeel lids
all into the gas chambers, it not fair

My Neanderthal ancestry is slightly lower than average

>>81788499
>and thrown into the oven like a frozen pizza.

Thrown into the oven like a frozen pizza handed over to a minimum wage african nurse because the lad who bought it with his taxpayer pittance isn't allowed to cook it himself!

I tried to give a normie thing a go, and didn't enjoy it. Frens talking about bird box, make it sound interesting. I put it on, starts out with blindfolded people, having to use ropes to navigte a path, then jumps in a boat, starts rowing away with no issues. Part of the film, they are driving with blacked out (painted over) windows (can't look at le heck bad thing or it sends you mad), oh we don't need to see, we have sat nav, just follow sat nav, everything's ok.
Sacked it off within 15 min, what a load of shite.

>>81788531
Bird box wasn't popular because it was good - even normies with terrible taste didn't like it as a piece of entertainment (much less art). It was popular because it birthed a retarded tiktok BIRD BOX CHALLENGE viral content thing where people would try and do things blindfolded like commute to work and shit.

Saw three fat white women with coffee coloured kids in Sainsbury's today. Three

Woggles the mindshire

Nigerian immigrants wipe my arse. Oh aye. Give me a Guinness while you're at it Wakanda Npoobu you cunt.

might try a left handed wank later on, mix things up a bit

>>81788545
I'm basically permanently left handed now, not sure why but it's a lot better

>>81788539
I actually remember kind of liking it to be honest but I watched it a few years after it was popular.

I am so fucking depressed at the thought that so many millions of people my age, otherwise generally like me, across the country are either having sex right now or will at some point this very day have sex. But it doesn't end, it's every day. Every single day they're having sex. Young men like me are getting pussy. They're having fun sexual adventures with equally young, good looking women and they're genuinely enjoying it all. There's no double-edged sword where they miss out on some profound other thing in exchange for sex, no they literally just have great lives and have sex as well. It drives me fucking mad.

I look out at the people in the street and I'm surrounded by young, attractive, scantily clad women. I want them. I need them. I crave their bodies. I want to have sex so fucking bad. I want a young, attractive, scantily clad woman to DESIRE me and it will NEVER happen.

I am so fucking frustrated but every time I voice my grievances I am rebuked. I am told to deal with it. I am told to 'just go get laid' etc. Do they think I haven't tried? I am frustrated because I tried and FAILED to get laid every single time. I am in hell. I am being tortured. Nothing makes anything feel better. Every night I pray that I don't wake up just to avoid another day or torment.

>>81788542
>Woggles the mindshire
Sexual reproduction isn't that complicated, lad.

Remember not to wear sun screen, you will get cancer from the chemicals
Also don't drink too much water you might over hydrate and get water poisoning

>>81788353
Wait....Zeus and another lad with a squeaky voice?

>>81788566
>Remember not to wear sun screen

>>81788566
water intoxication is a real thing and its fucking horrendous

>>81788572
Yeah Zeus and Hostlad.

Nothing stopping me having sex with any girl I want. I'll simply claim her pussy as mine.

>>81788561
Tell me a bit about yourself and what you've done to improve yourself. Most of the people you're describing will have decent jobs that get them out of the house all day, they'll have active hobbies like playing sports, they'll have strong social lives where they meet a lot of people and spend years practicing their social skills, they put a lot of effort into their appearance and style. You got all of those boxes ticked off or nah?

>>81788545
Tfw right handed but can only stroke willyberg with left hand
Whatever happened there
>>81788566
It can imbalance electrolytes plus many people ignore how much water they get from food. You actually can drink too much water.

Which one should I go for today /britfeel/?

>>81788539
Ah, so it is something retards (not autistic, just utterly stupid people) enjoy.
>>81788572
Yep, that's them.

>>81788597
I'd never buy one because I find the idea of a disembodied vagina pretty grim, but I am curious about how it feels and how it compares to the real thing.

>>81788562
Think you missed the point of my post entirely. Nevermind lad.

>>81788597
Not a single white fleshlight. This must me Zimlad's personal collection.

Oxfordshire now the hottest at 31.4c

>heatwave
>women naked on the streets
>shorts so short you can see their bare ass
>try to avoid staring
>teenage lolis with their asses out left and right
>no bras
Wtf, I can't deal with it.. it's as if they want me to stare right there.

>>81788616
You need nofap

>>81788622
I am in nofap and it's difficult. You go on the high street for a coffee and it's sex capital.

>>81788609
I think it's the light more than anything, Arbs

>>81788630
Just look away

>>81788616
>it's as if they want me to stare right there.
they do

>>81788631
Put your glasses on. They're clearly brown

Garn go out in the sun and read my book now

>>81788592
What would you like to know? I'm 22, white british, 5'10", not ripped but lean. I dress in perfectly fine clothes, mostly uniqlo stuff, not like some retarded hypebeast. I keep my hair trimmed short and I keep clean-shaven. I have a generic office job that pays a little under 30k. Hobbies aren't really a thing for me like that; I read a lot and go running. I have a small circle of friends that I see semi-regularly, though it doesn't have any girls in it. I try socialising alone and with my group of friends. I try dating apps. I've tried asking around at work. Nothing works. Nothing happens. Sex just exists as something that other people get.

>>81788641
But then I am creepy for being a DILF without kids.

Have to bird box challenge my entire fucking life because the second I leave the house there are teenage girls wearing cut-off shorts

22% of our electricity being imported.

That's with record Solar production

Few more hours and wages can enjoy the sunny weekend

>>81788653
Don't bother. That guy you are replying to will just shift the goalposts.

>>81788616
Yeah and all these teenage girls with their tummies out, no bras so their nipples are out too. Fuck sake.

>>81788665
not me lid, im in tomorrow at 6am because i dont give a fuck anymore

>>81788667
The jiggle physics are pure drugs.

>>81788667
Just buy a fleshlight and you'll be set mate

>>81788663
Okay but really mate, what's a few british people being a bit cold, living in the dark or paying a few more quid on their energy bills compared to saving the world?

garn soapland tonight

Is the company that makes fleshlights trying some gay attempt at viral marketing or something? Feels like it's just been mentioned endlessly the past couple dozen threads.

>>81788666
I don't need to "shift" anything. The lad knows he isn't hitting goal. I'm just trying to figure out what he's doing wrong so he can start scoring a few.
>>81788653
I'll be honest lad. And please don't take this as an insult, because I really am trying to help. You sound quite boring. Girls your age want to be with someone exciting. Someone with a bit of edge to them. Not a quiet lad who just reads a lot, has a generic job, looks generic, and goes running. I'm not saying you have to be a maniac, but you sound like you're coming off as really dull at the moment. An exciting, active hobby would do a lot for you. Something like snowboarding.

>>81788698
Have you got one too?

>>81788579
>>81788598
Thank you, lads. I will try and find the old shows if they are on YouTube.
>>81788665
I will be leaving for the beach in 30 mins to have a BBQ and try my kite I fixed. Hope you will have a nice day.

>>81788653
alright 10 stone lifter

>>81788732
Factor up lad

Looks like a good time to be honest. Might get myself one.

>>81788653
None of that shit really matters anon

You need a personality, or a shit load of money kek

>>81788722
I mentioned snowboarding because it's a situation where I've specifically seen guys who are a bit weedy end up getting Chad-like results with girls, just because they are good at it.

>>81788597
>black ones are not pink on the inside
damn

>>81788722
I mean I've heard of fake it til you make it but this is just laughable stuff.
>just snowboard bro
Lol. When you laugh at these awful suggestions, he'll no doubt come back with some smug status-signalling and imply that you're a crab bucketer.

>>81788741
>Factor up lad
Bit of lard is all you need. Proper sunning yourself up the British way!

>>81788597
Stick your benis in the 1st one and just go down the line until you spaff

>>81788595

>Tfw right handed but can only stroke willyberg with left hand

I also do this. Right hand is a total stranger in that department.

>>81788561
Just get an escort

>But that won't cure my loneliness

Ok, report back after you've shagged one

>>81788704
from what he has described, there will be plenty of similarly generic women who would want to shag a guy like that. his standards are probably just too high.

>>81788742
i've got that one, just drying it out at the mo

Bored, he sits in his care home spamming his usual generals from his VPN

>>81788704
Fair enough, but what do you think a non-boring person is? I can hold conversations about interesting things just fine, whereas the average 'lad' in a club getting laid every night can't talk about anything other than The Footie, cawadoody or where his next puff is coming from. There are plenty of people more boring than me who have no trouble getting laid. Something tells me that snowboarding, even if we had the environment to do it, wouldn't get me laid.

>>81788735
If you're referencing someone I'm sorry mate I don't know who.

>>81788743
But that's also just not true. Again, plenty of sad soppy useless and broke wankers out there getting pussy all the time, just not me.

>>81788769
It's not so much loneliness, it's more the desire to be desired. I want to be wanted. An escort would cure my sexual frustration (for a few hours at least before it simply comes back and I'm back at square one), but I know that she wouldn't be fucking me if I wasn't paying so it's not really her wanting me.

Not judging you all cuz I honestly don't care at all. But sex toys seem like an extra effort when you can just have a wank and be done with it.

I have the Riley Steele pussy, Stoya arse and a generic mouth fleshlight. I would definitely recommend them. The only annoying part is washing and drying them.

>>81788798
Garn get that Kenzie reeves one

>>81788787
>plenty of sad soppy useless and broke wankers out there getting pussy all the time, just not me.

yes lad, they are making the girls laugh, taking about things they are interested in, or just have that chad energy or something


Im in the same boat as you lid, but instead of getting all annoyed about it i just ignore it , its clearly not meant for me and i clearly cannot be arsed to put in the effort

>>81788813
I usually go for ones I like the look of the labia more than anything.

>>81788748
I get where you're coming from but snowboarding isn't exactly accessible. he'd have better luck getting into bouldering, which gets you a nice physique, you can do alone, but which also has a nice social aspect to it. completely normal to ask a fit asian girl at the wall her advice on how to complete a route.

Reminder that there's loser drug addicts out there who can still fuck girls regularly.

You either get it, or you don't. Self improvement is a cope in this context, unless you're after gold diggers.

>>81788787
Women can smell your lack of sexual experience. Getting an escort will make you slightly more attractive

>>81788653
Women! What can you say? Who made 'em? God must have been a fuckin' genius. The hair... They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls, just wanted to go to sleep forever? Or lips... and when they touched, yours were like... that first swallow of wine... after you just crossed the desert. Tits! Hoo-ah! Big ones, little ones, nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights. Mmm. Legs. I don't care if they're Greek columns, or secondhand Steinways. What's between 'em... passport to heaven. I need a drink.
Yes, Anon, there's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pussy.

give up desire for women
embrace being a pussyfree loser
join the bnwo

>>81788834
The drug addicts get pussy from other drug addicts. Even easier if you're a drug dealer.

>>81788834
yeah and the girls will be ugly as sin and either fat as fuck or skinny as a rake from drugs

>>81788802
So how do you explain the men who are objectively lower quality than me in virtually every way getting laid regularly? I'm not claiming to be some gigachad ultra-wealthy astronaut cowboy. But fuck me am I really not good enough for ANY sex whatsoever? I've shot my shot at some pretty fucking low tier women just to try and I get rejected every single time.

>>81788816
I can make girls laugh, making them laugh is easy desu. As for talking about things they're interested in, of course you think across my entire life I've never engaged a girl in conversation about something she's interested in? Come on mate, this is basic stuff that I do all the time. The problem is it never goes anywhere.

>>81788842
Not true.

>>81788844
Whatever mate. Yeah I'd like some pussy, sorry that's seemingly an absurd notion for a 22 year old man to express.

>>81788757
Like I say lad, >>81788748
>>81788772
Just because a woman is generic doesn't mean she's looking for another generic guy. In fact a woman who has a boring life is even more likely to want an exciting guy.
>>81788787
For girls, exciting doesn't necessarily mean being an interesting conversationalist. That's important later on, but early attraction is more about vibe, charisma and confidence. Girls your age want a guy who feels exciting, a little unpredictable, and confident in his own skin. You should try to go places you've not been, try new scenes, or pick up something a bit daring. Boxing classes, martial arts, rock climbing would all be good.

You should also change up your style. Get a more fashion forward haircut, clothes that are a bit more attention grabbing. Make some subtle shifts that make you seem more confident and interesting.

>>81788834
>Self improvement is a cope in this context

>>81788868
>Boxing classes, martial arts, rock climbing
So that he can do what exactly? Hang out with other men?

second thoughts about the gig given how fucking hot it has all of a sudden gotten, nah ill go anyway i wont be a sad cunt but hmm

going rock climbing and meeting nubs

>>81788868
starting to understand why you cant get your dick in a wet hole lad

>>81788885
go on mate x

>>81788882
you've clearly never been to a bouldering wall. it's wall to wall pussy

Going hiking and meeting edgbaston

went outside for 3 whole minutes to hang the washing up and was sweating

>>81788891
When I was 22 I was in a relationship with a girl well out of my league, and I still am. I'm exactly the person this lad should be listening to.

>>81788882
Yes. Men meeting up with other men at private clubs and then having sexual intercourse with each other is a classic pass time of British culture, with a long and rich tradition behind it.

>>81788784
>from his VPN
He can just do that from his phone using mobile data lad.

Everything about me is average and uninteresting why am I not getting women

might see a tranny escort and get fucked in the ass, as a form of life destruction and self harm

Is Sean still banned?

>>81788930
No, and he hasn't been posting in /Brit/ either

>>81788922
>why am I not getting women

>>81788929
What's your advice for him big man? Just stay in a box room forever like you?

29 degrees right now here in Sussex, I'm sitting outside in the shade and it feels alright t b h. Went for a nice cooling cycle down some country lanes earlier.

He's probably in beddingtons

https://desuarchive.org/int/thread/212627013/#212627308

>>81788943
Nta but your advice is solid de lid. Some folks can't wrap their head around it though and NEVER will.

>>81788953
>hangxiety
Kek. Garn start using that phrase

Perfect weather to be quite honest with you all. Gunna crack out the rum in about 10 minutes

>>81788955
I think a lot of people just want to be told it's not their fault and there's nothing they can do to fix it. It gives them an excuse to never ever do anything they're uncomfortable with, which was a bit part of the problem in the first place.

>>81788961
Hope you don't think HHL came up with that phrase himself.

How many times a week do you lads go snowboarding?
I'm currently at four times, but I'm convinced that if I up it to sex or seven, maybe even squeeze a couple eighters in every now and then I can finally get laid like I want to.

>>81788974
Of course not. It's often said in /brit/ when he most likely stole it

https://desuarchive.org/_/search/text/hangxiety

>>81788976
Used to go twice a year when I was younger. Shagged every time. Those ski resorts are a kind of closed ecosystem so you end up talking to a lot of people apres-ski. If you get chatting to a girl who saw you do something cool on your board that day, you're basically already in there.

Prefer shooting cum inside a lassies warm throat than snowboarding.

>>81788989
Hangiety a real thing. I always just walk it off desu

>>81788991
One has often led to the other.

I can stop anytime I want

>>81788950
nice

Its 4x fucking LUSH sitting under a shady tree on a day like this

>wake up
>afternoon smoke
>afternoon coffee (2-3) cups
>take pregabalin

>>81789002
For me it's usually at the same time.

>>81788976
Once a year. Always get chatting to girls there, had a couple ask me to train them and hooked up with one.

>>81788976
I've been 3 times in my life.

>>81788976
Here's a breakdown of an average day for me, lad:
>wake up
>brush teeth
>hit the slopes early
>back for quick breakfast
>slopes again
>home for a shower, check message on phone, prep for lunch
>slopes
>ten minute break
>slopes again
>lunch time
>slopes
>cup of tea
>slopes again
>ten minute break
>slopes one more time
>back home for a quick dinner
>hit the slopes again for a good few hours
>home for a shower
>sometimes head out for a cheeky post-shower session on the slopes

Am I snowboarding enough? I haven't been able to get laid yet.

Surfing is another one that is a complete fanny magnet. If you're lucky enough to live near one of those surf spots like Newquay and you're actually good at surfing (and you don't look like a sausage squeezed into a wet suit) then you'll get some of the easiest pussy on planet earth.

>>81788344
ill admit i laughed

>>81789035
Yeah of course lad. Girls don't like guys who do extreme sports, it's a well known thing. They far prefer lads who whine in their mum's house.

>>81789039
Favourite colour on these lass?

>>81789039
Did you not find it sexy

>>81789039
Afternoon eva6

>>81789017
What is the point of banging a load of coffee to get up if you are just going to get whacked out on drugs?

>>81789060
picrel
>>81789061
not really blad doesnt want something out of his class

>>81789014
Going to go on a 20 mile cycle trail tomorrow morning, it gonna be LUSH

>>81789074
corrrrrr pink like a pretty princess
and you know that you have to be an anal princess before you can become an anal queen x

>>81789060
For me its the green one. And no I'm not a woman

>>81789083
That sounds like you'd just get way more sweaty and overheated than if you didn't.

Imagine being a grown adult and BUYING a butt plug. Even just typing the sentence makes me cringe.
Life isn't porn and porn isn't life you addicts.

Only gone and made a pot noodle for lunch

>>81789083
I did 22 miles yesterday. Tracked it on Strava. Wempted to do another 25 tomorrow.

>>81789092
Better than snowboarding mate. You ironically get way sweatier in snowy sports

Fred for post-400 anxiety lad

>>81789112

>>81789112

>>81789103
Different strokes for different folks lad. I bet you've bought some things in your life others would cringe to even think about.

>>81789103
Ummmm acshully they also have a useful function aside from the aesthetic imagery.

>>81789120
You're fooling nobody, it's just that nobody cares that you're pushing the threads to be before 400 now.

hhl monging out in /int/
https://desuarchive.org/_/search/boards/a.aco.an.c.cgl.co.d.fit.g.his.int.k.m.mlp.mu.q.qa.r9k.tg.trash.vr.wsg/tripcode/%21%2153i4YrndgQA/

>>81788365
shitpants spackers of the world, rise up and take over