how are you feeling today anon? have you cooked anything recently? just two more days and then its the weekend! you got this.

>>81931275 (OP)
>how are you feeling today anon
Depressed, but like in a comfortable way where I know things will get better
>have you cooked anything recently
My diet is just protein bars nd stuff, I have very little appetite since yesterday

>>81931275 (OP)
>how are you feeling today anon?
i have a headache and im torturing myself with miserable anime
>have you cooked anything recently?
i made some broccoli cheese soup and bread, its okayish tasting. what about you anon? how are you feeling?

>>81931275 (OP)
>how are you feeling today anon
not great, but once college starts up again soon things will get better since i'll be seeing people more
>have you cooked anything recently
no I've been saying I should learn to make stuff forever, but my diet consists of stuff like applesauce, granola bars or clementines, leftovers, or eating out. Once I get my own place I'll start making my own meals

>>81931275 (OP)
>>81931394
Thank you for asking anon :)

>>81931275 (OP)
>how are you feeling today anon?
Death
>have you cooked anything recently?
Lost count when I last ate. Cooked? I haven't done that in many years.

>>81931317
>in a comfortable way where I know things will get better
hmm, i get it. hopefully this feeling turns into motivation or something a bit better than sadness
>My diet is just protein bars nd stuff
why just protein bars? is it hard for you to find the will to cook things anon? i know it is for me.
>>81931331
>with miserable anime
well, better than drugs i guess! what anime?
>i made some broccoli cheese soup and bread
augh broccoli... actually i think i've yet to try a dish that has them in it i think. was it hard to make?
>what about you anon?
in terms of cooking, today i made a pasta with tuna the right way. with spices, herbs, proper saute'-ing and all that. was really really good and i was happy with the result! usually i just throw the tuna into a bowl with the pasta and call it a day.
>how are you feeling?
im feeling okay today. last 3 or so days were horrible and i dont think i've felt that bad in a long time. i hope they dont happen again any time soon.
>>81931394
>but once college starts up again soon
hope u have fun then anon. may i ask what you're studying?
>applesauce, granola bars or clementines, leftovers
average college student diet i see... dont wait until you get your own place if you can. as long as there's a kitchen and tools, try to make something! even if its simple.
>Thank you for asking
you're very welcome!
>>81931435
>Death
i am very acquainted with that, i hope it'll pass soon anone.
>Lost count when I last ate
thats no good. you oughta go and eat something. even if its just a slice of bread. please?
>I haven't done that in many years.
is it because you dont like it, or because you lack the will to do so?

>>81931592
>well, better than drugs i guess! what anime?
i suppose lol, im watching higurashi right now
>augh broccoli... actually i think i've yet to try a dish that has them in it i think. was it hard to make?
its a simple diner food where im from, so its easy to cook. you can barely taste the broccoli from the cheese broth... i also put cayenne in it, so it masks it further with heat
>in terms of cooking, today i made a pasta with tuna the right way. with spices, herbs, proper saute'-ing and all that. was really really good and i was happy with the result! usually i just throw the tuna into a bowl with the pasta and call it a day.
that sounds nice!!, canned tuna or like, uncanned? i make tuna onirgi sometimes and thats about all the tuna i consume
>im feeling okay today. last 3 or so days were horrible and i dont think i've felt that bad in a long time. i hope they dont happen again any time soon.
oh... im sry, i can relate, this week has been one of my worst. im glad youre feeling ok tho, i hope life starts looking upward for you!!

>>81931592
>hopefully this feeling turns into motivation or something a bit better than sadness
I lost the only person I talk to regularly online, and it's like a weight off my shoulders. it might take a week or 2 to recover, but it's for the best
>why just protein bars? is it hard for you to find the will to cook things anon
adhd meds completely kill my cravings. not going to cook or eat out when food doesn't feel rewarding

I don't want the weekend to come ! I want to die !

>>81931275 (OP)
*Sucking Hu Tao anons massive cock*

>>81931592
>may i ask what you're studying?
I'm an english major, I really want to make a career out of making making music but if that doesn't work being a writier seems like a fine fallback. i'd like to review albums and stuff in newspapers and columns.
>try to make something!
but it's soooooo muccccccccccch workkkkkkk lmao. i'll probably give it a go eventually, i think i'd know what to do it's just a matter of motivating myself

>>81931275 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h38jdBAdmsg
onion borger

>>81931592
>i hope it'll pass soon anone
It will depending on what happens on Friday, or get far worse. We shall see
>you oughta go and eat something. even if its just a slice of bread. please?
I can't keep anything down sadly, so I am trying to drink juice or things with some calories at least.
>is it because you dont like it, or because you lack the will to do so?
I lost the ability to, being directly over a stove with the smell of cooking food makes me feel ill. I can only handle it in small doses, like hibachi places and the like. I am unable to be near a stove or oven long enough to make proper meals.

I ate Oats with chocolate 2day!

>>81931275 (OP)
>have you cooked anything recently?
i started bowlmaxxing and its great you should try it very fast and easy and healthy and tasty

>>81931638
>higurashi
ooh thats a good one. i liked it a lot.
>you can barely taste the broccoli
maybe thats a good thing... cheese broth sounds interesting. i've heard about vegetable and meat but, how would you make cheese broth? do you just leave cheese to melt into hot water?
>cayenne
you mean the pepper? do you like spicy foods anon?
>canned tuna or like, uncanned?
oh it was canned, im not good enough to filet a tuna myself. hopefully ill learn some day though.
>onigiri
ohhh i so wanna try making those too someday. do you just put tuna in them or something else too?
>hope life starts looking upward for you!!
haha... thank you anon. sorry your week has been awful too. i hope we can both be happier someday. did something happen that made your week bad or was it just that way?
>>81931699
>I lost the only person I talk to regularly online
sorry to hear that anon, but if you feel like its a weight off you then maybe its better this way. hope u can get over them soon and maybe find someone else better.
>when food doesn't feel rewarding
i see. there's a saying here, "appetite comes with eating" (it sounds better in my language i swear) but basically, it means that even if you're not hungry you should try to eat anyway because eating is gonna make you want to eat more. perhaps you could order a pizza or something you really cant say no to.
>>81931778
the weekend is coming whether you like it or not anon, so, since its coming anyway, lets at least try to enjoy it! death is coming too, dont worry, there's no need to rush it. do something you love, eat something you like, before its all gone.
>>81931853
>career out of making making music
i hope you can make it! i love music so much. do you play an instrument? or would you like to be a singer/lyricist? being a writer seems comfy too.
>so much work
i know, but i can guarantee you its all worth it. and then you can come back and tell me what you made!
>>81931940
what the hell did you do to those poor bread slices anon.

>>81931998
>It will depending on what happens on Friday
hmm, okay. i won't pry about details, unless you want to share. i pray everything goes well.
>I can't keep anything down sadly
that sucks. do you have some kind of stomach problem? juice is always good. my fav drink and very underrated! which juice is your favourite?
>I lost the ability to
oh im sorry anon, that must be awful. hm, maybe a face mask could help weaken the smells? but i get if that its not really ideal having to wear it in the kitchen or whenever you eat out.
>>81932065
very nutritious. last time i tried to make something with oats it came out disgusting. never again
>>81932088
i agree that bowlmaxxing is a nice practice along with meal preps. what do you usually put in your bowl anon?

>>81932098
I want to get plap plap plapped by you

>>81932098
>what the hell did you do to those poor bread slices anon.
toasted it with fresh garlic, olive oil, and thyme. what's wrong with the bread?

>>81931275 (OP)
>how are you feeling today anon?
heh i thought things are going to get better but recently is so lethargic and depressing. I try to do something, be it draw, respond to a post, play a game, whatever and my hand just slips and i stop. I just look for a bit and do something else. This is exactly what almost drove me to suicide a couple of years back.
>have you cooked anything recently?
Don't remember when i made something for myself. But i guess some sausage snacks count?
>just two more days and then its the weekend! you got this.
I don't have a job. I would get one and i think i have potentially profitable talents but i just don't have any power left to apply for positions and even less to keep one. Hiring season is over anyways....

well i don't really work i get my income from government money printing

>>81932105
>very nutritious. last time i tried to make something with oats it came out disgusting. never again
u can't rly go wrong with oats. What made it disgusting? Have u tried instant oats?

>>81932105
>what do you usually put in your bowl
sushi rice, cucumber, tomato, avocado, carrot, mango, spinach, corn salad, arugula, mung sprouts, edamame, meat/fish and leetl bit onions sauce or teriyaki

>>81932098
>ooh thats a good one. i liked it a lot.
ah, ya its good. it isnt as miserable as id like tho, perhaps a good thing tho, im gonna watch grave of the fireflies soon n heard that should be a rough watch
>how would you make cheese broth?
cream, thickening agent like flour, and water or a broth base like chicken broth. its kind of like making nacho cheese if youve done that before
>you mean the pepper? do you like spicy foods anon
yes n yes
>oh it was canned, im not good enough to filet a tuna myself. hopefully ill learn some day though.
o i see, same lol. i wouldnt trust myself to cut fish well
>ohhh i so wanna try making those too someday. do you just put tuna in them or something else too?
theyre easy and well worth making!! i make the canned tuna less chunky, and then add mayo. that becomes the filling in the middle. ive come to like them more than sandwiches
>i hope we can both be happier someday
hopefully, ya:)
>did something happen that made your week bad or was it just that way?
ive had an off and on headache for days now, ive put up blackout curtains cus even sunlight hurts sometimes. i also got news about someone ik being put in hospice. which is always a miserable feeling. wish i was going instead sometimes

>>81932105 #
>what do you usually put in your bowl
sushi rice, cucumber, tomato, avocado, carrot, mango, spinach, corn salad, arugula, wakame, mung sprouts, edamame, meat/fish and leetl bit onions sauce or teriyaki

>>81932105
>hmm, okay. i won't pry about details, unless you want to share. i pray everything goes well.
I am just going to ask a friend to tell another friend something on my behalf, which I hope leads to us talking again.
>that sucks. do you have some kind of stomach problem?
Psychological. Depression bad enough my body just refuses food.
>maybe a face mask could help weaken the smells? but i get if that its not really ideal having to wear it in the kitchen or whenever you eat out.
Eating out it isn't an issue since I am removed from being directly over the cooking space where the smell is most potent. Maybe a mask could help, yeah. It really isn't an issue though, I can more than afford to have nice food delivered daily. It's only something I wish I could do.

>>81932098
> i hope you can make it!
thank you anon. means a lot. i'm certainly gonna try!
>do you play an instrument?
I've played piano on and off since I was about 5 or so. I've gotten really into drumming recently, but my main thing currently is production. I use FL studio to make electronic dance stuff, and I've already got a little bit of traction on SoundCloud even though I've only been producing music for about 4 months now, which is really cool. But to answer your question, piano, drums, and FL studio production.
>being a writer seems comfy too
yeah that's the fallback, and it's not a bad one. My main passion is music though, but I've always liked writing to an extent too so combining the two to write album reviews and stuff made sense

>>81932105
WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME PIN ME DOWN AND MAN HANDLE ME

>>81932106
>>81932348
you're going to horny jail
>>81932142
uhm, its a bit burnt don't you think?
>>81932151
>and my hand just slips and i stop
i know the feeling. i get how hard it is to do even just the most mundane task sometimes. but it's okay, it doesnt last forever. keep trying!
>But i guess some sausage snacks count?
sure do. though you should try to be a bit more ambitious! maybe go with a pasta next time hm?
>i just don't have any power left to apply for positions
it is what it is anon. its not like the job market is amazing right now anyway. i dont blame you for not wanting to participate. though, i think you should try your best to put your free time into something, i think it will help you feel a bit better. i know its hard to start and even harder to be constant, but please give it a try! it can be anything. and keep drawing! i think drawing is awesome
>>81932171
based fuck the government
>>81932181
i made some mix with oats and yogurt and cocoa and it was foul
>>81932229
>isnt as miserable as id like
maybe you haven't got far enough into it, cause it does get quite miserable trust me. lmk what you think about the other anime once you've seen it!
>kind of like making nacho cheese
hm hm, i see. seems doable enough. a lot of cheese sauces are similarly made too
>yes
im also a huge fan!
>wouldnt trust myself to cut fish
knives invoke certain thoughts in me that should only remain deep down in my head
>like them more than sandwiches
they're certainly more nutritious too. i will try to make them! are you able to make the right shape too? im kinda bad with my hands...
>someone ik being put in hospice
oh, im sorry to hear that anon. i hope they can be happy until the end. but dont you dare end up in one any time soon! also, have you tried taking some medicines for the headache?
>>81932239
those sound like you can make some nice combinations. i put rice, chicken, carrot, cucumbers, almonds and teriyaki sauce.

>>81932246
>which I hope leads to us talking again.
i see. im guessing you cant do it yourself for reasons, but i think its always better to say things honestly and face to face. i hope things end up going alright for you anon.
>Depression bad enough my body just refuses food.
ah thats awful. hope you manage to find a solution.
>It's only something I wish I could do.
well, i dont want to downplay your problems anon, but you said it yourself a mask might help. so now, its just a matter of motivation to do it. gather your strength and give it a shot!
>>81932336
>I've played piano on and off since I was about 5 or so
oh wow! piano is such an awesome instrument! can you play a lot of songs?
>drumming
god i wish i could also play drums.
>production
i've also tried making a few breakcore songs with FL Studio though i think im better off just playing guitar... can you share a song you made? i'd love to listen!
>so combining the two to write album reviews and stuff made sense
yeah, its a good idea. have you tried writing reviews yet?

>>81931275 (OP)
>how are you feeling today anon?
very very tired, feel like a pack of orangutans came up and beat the shit out of me with hammers while I was asleep. maybe helps the fact that my bed is a block of concrete
>have you cooked anything recently
yeah, some fried rice

thanks for asking anon

>>81932446
>maybe you haven't got far enough into it, cause it does get quite miserable trust me
maybe, its all been mostly gore so far... ig its a little sad, cus theyre a cute friend group n all, but i got more impact from other horror anime like shiki. and found more pain in renmei. idk
>lmk what you think about the other anime once you've seen it!
alr!
>im also a huge fan
nice, weird how good spice feels, when it hurts so much physically
>knives invoke certain thoughts in me that should only remain deep down in my head
hm, i understand. im too much of a wimp to ever do anything with one, i feel more worry when im taking medicine. downing a whole bottle of pills is always tempting
>they're certainly more nutritious too. i will try to make them! are you able to make the right shape too? im kinda bad with my hands...
i have some onigiri moulds, very useful for getting the shape right and less messy!!
>oh, im sorry to hear that anon. i hope they can be happy until the end. but dont you dare end up in one any time soon! also,
ty, ya. theyre very religious, so im hoping it comforts them enough to make it easier on them.
>but dont you dare end up in one any time soon
haha, if i was terminal id prob take it as my sign to leave sooner rather than later and depart on my own terms, how ive always wanted to
>have you tried taking some medicines for the headache?
yup, otc stuff has been useless unfortunately:(

>>81932446
>uhm, its a bit burnt don't you think?
it's not burnt, it's just the very outside is crispy, it's oil :(

FINE. have some mac and cheese then.

>>81932463
>can you play a lot of songs?
ehhh i'd need sheet music, but I think I'm a pretty good sight reader so if I have that I'd say I could play most things. I Thought You Wanted to Dance by Tyler is always fun to play!
>god i wish i could also play drums
they're really fun! as long as you have a baseline understanding of rhythm and ok coordination, you should be able to pick it up really easily. Just remember to wear earplugs or something, they're loud as fuck.
>i think im better off just playing guitar
that's cool that you play the guitar! How long have you been doing that?
>can you share a song you've made?
sure, i'll paste the link to my SoundCloud in here! the link reveals my name but who gives a fuck
https://soundcloud.com/jack-kowalski-465928931

>>81932446
>but it's okay, it doesnt last forever. keep trying!
I've been trying my entire life but only in the last couple of years did i notice how i just don't do anything which really hurt desu.
>maybe go with a pasta next time hm?
I don't know how to cook. Was never taught and i don't like pasta anyways.
>though, i think you should try your best to put your free time into something
Another reason why everything looks so hopeless. I had "free time" for years but never got anything done. Im only became recently a NEET but its still a kick in the balls.
>and keep drawing! i think drawing is awesome
Also never works. I want to but i literately have no idea what to. Learning something without a goal or reason never works. Only that right now its even worse than an average.
I don't see how this will change any time soon. Im just sorta sitting here, both mind and body slowly deteriorating. Been like this since birth. Never experienced "healing" or whatever you call it, just approaching doom at different rates.
I can't even consistently walk straight, people ask me if im drunk when im sober sometimes. Guess i crossed the end of the line before it even began. I don't know how anything could be better.

>>81932463
>im guessing you cant do it yourself for reasons
Yeah, I have no way to talk to them. I'd say it directly if possible.

>>81932446
>you're going to horny jail
Noooooooo

I cooked bread for the first time but I think I messed up and the dough got rotted somehow. I ate the raw dough after being fermented so maybe this rot taste will go away after I bake it?
Anyway, it's cool to knead the bread. I wish I could do the same with an onee-san breasts

>>81932501
>feel like a pack of orangutans came up and beat the shit out of me with hammers while I was asleep
well thats uh, oddly specific... pretty sure your bed being concrete doesnt help either. are you in prison or something?
>yeah, some fried rice
you telling me a shrimp fried this rice?
>thanks for asking anon
thank you for answering!
>>81932549
>its all been mostly gore so far..
uh, do you not consider that a little disturbing at least? i think the first season plays a lot on the shock factor. afterwards when they start explaining things it gets sadder. still a lot of things are subjective anyway
>weird how good spice feels, when it hurts so much physically
i know right! maybe we're secretly masochists or something. god i hope not. i just like the funny taste.
>downing a whole bottle of pills is always tempting
you know, one of the main reasons why i dont want to take meds is because im not sure whether i'd be able to not do that whenever im in the midst of my worst episodes. i've fantasized about overdosing so many times.
>i have some onigiri moulds
hmm but isnt that cheating?? baka. i wonder what the japanese overlords would think about this. (i think they'd say something i cant understand because i dont speak japanese)
>so im hoping it comforts them enough to make it easier
ill send a prayer towards their way then!
>depart on my own terms, how ive always wanted to
thats fair, i'd do it too. i think im going to do it regardless if i have a terminal disease or not honestly.
>has been useless
damn, that sucks. hope it passes soon anone. i got headaches too the last few days because of how much mental anguish i was in.
>>81932560
>it's just the very outside is crispy
ah yes, of course anon. my bad im sure they were delicious
>mac and cheese
that looks very yummy! good job. crazy to think i've never had it yet.

>>81932565
>sheet music
the fact that you can read that is already impressive to a lowly guitar player like me...
>you should be able to pick it up really easily
oh im sure i'd be able to play them, its just that, i dont really have a place to do so.
>How long have you been doing that?
about a year now. its fun! and a real workout to your fingers. i mostly play rock and punk songs.
>songs
i quite liked ItShouldBe! sounds like something that would play in a club. (i think, i've never been in one). keep up the great work!
>>81932863
>Was never taught
no better teacher than yourself anon. its okay if you dont want to make pasta, but i still think you should try to cook something anyways. it can be very rewarding.
>for years but never got anything done
i've done it too. been a neet for years and done nothing but waste time. but now you have the awareness of how bad it feels knowing how much time you wasted, and how many things you could've done. so, you've got to try and do something, to make up. you can do it!
>I want to but i literately have no idea what to
best way to do something is just do it. yes, i know it sounds cheesy. yes i know its easier said and done. but thinking gets you nowhere. grab the pan, start drawing random lines, whatever, and hopefully ideas will start to appear. the worst thing you can do when feeling this way, is nothing. so do anything. anything!
>I don't know how anything could be better
i dont think anyone does anon. its okay. you just need to do what you can.
>>81932881
hope your friend gets the message through then.
>>81932896
then be nice next time!
>>81932901
making bread is fun. uhm, im not too sure you shuld be eating raw dough, and also, the rot doesnt go away very easily. depends on the temperature you're baking the bread at. if its high enough, it will kill all the bacteria but it might still ruin the bread.

>>81933128
>the fact that you can read that
yea like with anything it just comes with practice. i've heard people struggle reading two clefs at once, which makes sense.
>i dont really have a place to do so.
fair
> i mostly play rock and punk songs.
very cool, what kind of stuff are you playing currently?
>keep up the great work!
thank you!!!

>>81933308
if you want i could also always send my discord over if you ever want to hear anything I make in the future

>>81931275 (OP)
I just woke up feeling like shit and hve to go to my job

>>81933118
>are you in prison or something?
no i'm not, but i'm alive and poor as shit which is kind of the same thing

>>81933128
>and hopefully ideas will start to appear
nothing does. What is even the point then?
All the creativity was sucked out of me and now all i can do is dream about it being otherwise.
It was a little better not too long ago but that was an exception.

>>81933308
>yea like with anything it just comes with practice
i think i'd sooner learn how to play the solo in tornado of souls rather than read sheet music honestly.
>what kind of stuff are you playing currently?
right now im practicing thank you my twilight by the pillows, along with im not okay by mcr. lot of the time i tend to replay songs i already learnt though.
>discord
i dont like discord but i promise ill keep an eye on your soundcloud! i use it daily anyway.
>>81933373
another day in paradise huh. hope you can get through work anon, best of luck!
>>81933472
>but i'm alive and poor as shit which is kind of the same thing
yeah tell me about it. sucks.
>>81933771
>What is even the point then?
what is the point in doing nothing? what is the point in doing anything? i dont know anon, you can only answer to yourself. i hope these feelings will pass, and you'll be able to draw again. dont let them take away your passions from you.

>>81934024
>i promise i'll keep an eye on your soundcloud!
preciate it! enough 4chan for me today, nice talking to you anon

>>81931275 (OP)
helloI'm the anon that sticks needles in my hand, you've talked before
I'm just here to wish you a good day

>>81932446
>i made some mix with oats and yogurt and cocoa and it was foul
yeah that doesn't sound very good... y not try making normal oats? Nothing can beat some good ol fashioned oats!

>>81934437
was nice talking with you too anon. good luck with your music
>>81934914
hi anon, thank you! glad to see you again. hopefully you dont stick too many needles in your hand. are you doing okay?
>>81935267
they dont really taste good if you dont put anything else in them i think

>>81935440
>are you doing okay?
yes I'm doing okay not great but at least I'm not stressed out often
how have you been doing?

500g pizza dough
proof for 1 hour
stretch dough into rectangle.
serrate into 12 breadsticks. do not stretch them further.
cook for 20 minutes at 175 c (350f)

250-400 ml arrabbiata sauce.
add 0.75 tsp MSG
reduce on medium heat until it's paste

garlic butter
combine 3 tbsp butter with 1 tsp garlic powder (not granules), 1 heaping tsp parsley
1 tsp salt
1 tsp oregano optional, it's quite strong. can also use other italian herbs.

cover completely with pecorino romano and parmesan cheese

>>81933128
>then be nice next time!
Okay can I PLEAAAASE suck your PP, Hu Tao-sama?

>>81931275 (OP)
I'm feeling excellent. I haven't cooked anything in 3 years because that's how long I've been eating raw animal products