>>82174968
>Making a non dumbsounding bassline is kinda hard
honestly true. i made 2 songs in the past and making a decent bassline was so damn hard. they all sounded weird. i guess i should start playing bass too...
>it would be better if I focused more on getting better at guitar
yeah that's fair. you can always come back to it once you've mastered guitar anyways! i kinda wanna do that. assuming i live that long
>Sometimes I make pure piano pieces
ohh!! can i listen? i love piano. it's actually my favourite instrument despite me playing guitar. so whenever i hear a song with guitars and piano together its like, "hell yeah"
>>82175022
>You will be fucked with until the end of time
man thats messed up. and with the suicides too. has it happened while you were in training too?
>what higher calling could there be?
uhmmmm making space mcdonalds?
>I wish I could live to see it
you and me both anon, space is fascinating! i could spend all day reading books about it and looking at images of planets and black holes. it's so close yet so far...
>>82175238
>It was not my intention, sorry
oh dont worry about it anon! i like reading rants
>but its something to consider
hm, i see. honestly i dont even want to think about what might happen to my brain in the future.
>potentially not being unwell
i guess you have a point, but im naive enough to think that i can still manage to live somewhat happily even without them.
>moments of clarity
hm, yeah i guess thinking about it it has happened to me too. very rarely though. might happen when i dissociate a lot...
>i feel more like sticking at it
man that would be awesome. i see what you mean. hm, i never really drank much and i also hate it, i basically only do it when i cant take reality anymore (and it's usually just a beer or two) but yeah, ill trust you on this one anon.
>some are just forced into this position
thats what i fear mostly. having to rely on pills to work seems dreadful to me.
>>82175343
i like talking with anons!

>>82098816
wandering aimlessly outside feels awful for me, but to combat that i make up reasons to go out. like sitting under a tree in a quiet place. go look at some ducks. check if that graffiti i liked is still there. perhaps you can make up your own reasons too anon. a reason for going outside could be your own happiness, but i know its easier said than done

>>82088675
>Another pizza and dried mango
pizzars are awesome. which topping? i didnt eat much today. a peach. i love peaches
>You'll get through it, I'm sure!
i know, but then it's just gonna come back and i have to get through it again. and again, and again, and again, and again...
>I'd like to go to an onsen.
oh i'd love to try one too. they seem so relaxing. i'd also love to check out those temples in the middle of the mountains and try all the cool tech they got
>>82089043
>I think patterns do emerge with these kinds of things
care to elaborate?
>I have trouble remembering things sometimes
you and me both anon. chopping someone's arm off sounds very metal, i approve. the machine gods are pleased

>>82055767
>maybe you could mail him again to see why he stopped
i already did and received no answer
>how long does the other take?
usually they answer in a day or two. though they've told me it might take longer sometimes so i don't worry.
>but i dont know if i can be that rude to someone...
...but anon, if it happens it means they were rude to you first. besides, you're not being rude, you're just protecting yourself from a mean person! you got this.
>i wanted to log in today but got to nervous again
humu its okay. good luck tomorrow! also, if you need to practice with your anxiety, we can play a few matches together, no pressure! i am pretty proud of the fact that i literally never get angry, so, you're safe. and i also suck so you can laugh at me too.
>takes the pressure from both of you with a mind like this
indeed, i've kinda noticed how everyone nowdays seems so pressured into becoming friends or get into a relationship in a matter of weeks or days. i really dont like that and i think it takes time for someone to become a friend and even more time for something closer. at least its how it works for me. things are too fast for me...
>>82055788
>At least it wasn't that bad, I assume.
it didnt flood anything other than my soul with sorrow. hm, very poetic. perhaps i will make a poetry out of this. did you like the one i wrote the last time?
>>82055672
>Boomers and teens everywhere...
do zoomers/gen alpha in your town also dress horribly or is it just here?

gonna go to sleep now, big day tomorrow. thanks for talking with me anons!

>>81962192
>so I'm never mad if things "go wrong" but are still enjoyable.
yeah! i actually think its a bit more fun if things are less scripted. everything feels a bit more natural that way! hope you manage to make a great campaign for ur players and have fun anon
>>81962233
>um, i just meant losing memories i guess
it was a joke anon, i know what you meant. yknow. we both have memory issues. so i pretended to not remember your and my memory issues. please laugh now thank you
>its somehow more isolating than being alone in a dark room
yeah it honestly feels that way. i think its the worst when you feel alone even while surrounded by other people. i dont think it gets any worse than that
>i make more mistakes and become even more empty-minded
hm, i guess that makes sense. i dunno, i remember when i used to work that awful factory job time felt like it wasnt moving, so it might've been preferable to me. everyday i prayed that a huge plank of wood would fall on my head but unfortunately it never happened.
>have you ever tried writing the memories down too?
thats a good idea actually! maybe i will do that in my journal. thank you! have you tried?
>i hope you dont:(
i hope so too... the idea of getting dementia or something that strips me of my memories is honestly terrifying.
>>81962287
>A waste of time desu but at lease i don't feel worse from it.
time spent having fun is never wasted they say
>At least im a little less tired than usual i think.
still an improvement i guess. is it possible that you're already developing a tolerance?
>sometimes end up hyperfocusing for 10 hours three days in a row
man, i know. i hate when that happens. like it feels great when you're into it but then its like hell. hope u can manage to control it a bit more and keep drawing! good night anon.

>>81932106
>>81932348
you're going to horny jail
>>81932142
uhm, its a bit burnt don't you think?
>>81932151
>and my hand just slips and i stop
i know the feeling. i get how hard it is to do even just the most mundane task sometimes. but it's okay, it doesnt last forever. keep trying!
>But i guess some sausage snacks count?
sure do. though you should try to be a bit more ambitious! maybe go with a pasta next time hm?
>i just don't have any power left to apply for positions
it is what it is anon. its not like the job market is amazing right now anyway. i dont blame you for not wanting to participate. though, i think you should try your best to put your free time into something, i think it will help you feel a bit better. i know its hard to start and even harder to be constant, but please give it a try! it can be anything. and keep drawing! i think drawing is awesome
>>81932171
based fuck the government
>>81932181
i made some mix with oats and yogurt and cocoa and it was foul
>>81932229
>isnt as miserable as id like
maybe you haven't got far enough into it, cause it does get quite miserable trust me. lmk what you think about the other anime once you've seen it!
>kind of like making nacho cheese
hm hm, i see. seems doable enough. a lot of cheese sauces are similarly made too
>yes
im also a huge fan!
>wouldnt trust myself to cut fish
knives invoke certain thoughts in me that should only remain deep down in my head
>like them more than sandwiches
they're certainly more nutritious too. i will try to make them! are you able to make the right shape too? im kinda bad with my hands...
>someone ik being put in hospice
oh, im sorry to hear that anon. i hope they can be happy until the end. but dont you dare end up in one any time soon! also, have you tried taking some medicines for the headache?
>>81932239
those sound like you can make some nice combinations. i put rice, chicken, carrot, cucumbers, almonds and teriyaki sauce.

>>81928673
>People don't want to commit. They want their options open
yeah its honestly so fucking stupid. they treat relationships as a cage where once you're in you cant escape anymore instead of cherishing them and working towards making them a thing to live for. "uh muh you shouldnt be forced to live with the same person forever after some years they get boring, and what if i dont like them anymore??" anyone who thinks this is a retard that is not capable of loving some genuinely. which is the majority of people nowdays regretfully. the current situation in dating makes me question if true love even exists anymore or if its a thing of the past. curse dating apps and i hope who invented them dies a horrible painful death

>>81909876
thanks. i hope i'll feel better by the next time we talk again.
>>81909927
i know that it doesnt make sense, but even if the world ends for us when we die, it doesnt for everyone else. so knowing that im leaving behind nothing but grief doesnt sit right with me i guess. dont think i care that much anymore though.
>>81910109
i dont matter that much. besides apathy is not too bad. beats feeling guilty i guess.
>>81910133
thanks. though its better if you dont get attached.