Thread 82405972

I'm 6'3 and 230 lbs of fat. I've never seriously lifted my entire life. All I have are two 25 lbs dumbbells. whats the strategy to getting ripped and getting femanons to sending me nudes. I am in my 30s.

>>82405972 (OP)
why would you bother with all that when there are billions of nudes from hotter chicks online posted for free

>>82405972 (OP)
read the sticky in /fit/

how many times can you curl the dumbbell? Not a super lifted but id say all you can do with 25lbs dumbbells is like, curl til failure, overhead press til failure, lat raise til failure (probably impossible for you with 25 lbs dumbbells, so just lift as high as you can), rear delt raise til failure (same deal), suitcase squat til failure, sumo deadlift til failure, Rear lunge til failure, chest press til failure, Chest flys (probably impossible for you with 25s), bent over rows, plank rows, then finish it off with squats + front raises.

Do this 3 times a week and you should look pretty decent within 8 months. I'd seriously recomend buying some 10 lbs dumbbells too, mostly for those exercises ive noted you probably cant do with 25s.

>>82405980
getting personalized nudes is a better feeling than actually having sex to me. I couldn't tell you why.

>>82405999
just pay for onlyfans

>>82405972 (OP)
it's too late find a feeder instead

>>82406006
Thats the same as just looking at random nudes though, paying for it doesnt give the same vibes.

>>82405972 (OP)
You sound hot. Post your tall-ass pudgy curvy body right tf now faggot. And you better have puffy areolas and a big around ass too. You shapely-ass manslut.

Pronto pronto, whore

>>82406773
i would if it wouldn't get me jannied.

>>82406814
It won't. That rule has been rescinded. Note the lack of sticky.

Post your plump man ass right now you fucking skyscraperslut. And show hole too

>pull-ups (shoulder width grip) or chin-ups (close grip)
>push-ups (shoulder width)
>bodyweight squats (as deep as possible)
Five sets to failure (meaning as many reps as you physically can), every other day. If you don't have a pull-up bar, get one. Proper one that's installed to the door frame with screws. If you can't do pull-ups, get gymnastics rings and do bodyweight rows until you can perform pull-ups. Report back in two months. The most important thing is consistency and intensity. Don't focus too much on "optimization", fucking around with rep and set schemes, literally just do it. Once you get the ball rolling you can fiddle with the details

>>82405972 (OP)
Ask Satan to help you lose weight to make you into one of the bulls. Although I think its probably too late for you, he makes these type of contracts when theyre 18 with ugly people in exchange for their souls.

>>82407070
why do bodyweight shit if he has 25 lbs dumbbells

>>82405972 (OP)
>whats the strategy to getting ripped and getting femanons to sending me nudes
Stop eating. I'm an inch shorter than you and only weigh 165. You're obese.

>>82407159
well at 165 you're a fucking stick as well, not like you look good either.

>>82407074
Satan is like a magical genie. He is actually the genie from Aladdin, he made that movie and all the other movies too. He can help you lose weight by teleporting stuff around within your body. He studied absolutely everything, he has access to the highest quality weight loss drugs, stuff that humans wont be understanding for awhile im guessing. And he doses them in the exact correct way in the exact right places. He also can do plastic surgery, but its all done using teleportation and its totally painless. He can also actually grow out different parts of your body using the same type of method, to give you a chad jaw or a thicker neck. I dont know what the limits of his abilities are, hes claimed he cant cure cancer, but he can cure stds. He can also fix your speech problems, to make it so girls like what you say to them. Like they actually want to be around you because your words are so perfect. And he can also make a hot girl using this same method, and have you both meet by chance.

>>82407155
He could use them for bulgarian split squats or goblet squats maybe later but for upper body those weights are pretty useless compared to regular push-ups and pull-ups. 25lbs is sufficient for some isolation exercises but those are generally a waste of time and not worth focusing on especially at OP's level

Satan has been hitting me in the head with a hammer and mutilating my genitals every day. He said it helps fix my personality problems, he said girls like men with dumb looking eyes basically. And that this type of torture makes me mentally check out of my body in a way that improves my personality, because he said sex with a hot girl is way too cool. And hes doing this to me by force, im actually trapped in a torture dungeon just like the Bible predicted. The Bible says they release us from the dungeon one day lol. Ive been trapped here for 15 years. Ive had my genitals mutilated over 8000 times.

>>82407164
>not like you look good either.
It's actually a healthy BMI and I have a girlfriend.

>>82405972 (OP)
Start small and progressively overload. Dial in your diet and sleep schedule since those are more important than your exercise schedule.
>>82405991
The sticky is dated and trash.

>>82405972 (OP)
train hard as fuck and eat the right food simple as. I had to quit the gym because I felt like I was having an orgasm while lifting weights and I couldn't handle it

I fear if I lose weight, I'll still be a virgin at the end of it. also ugly loose skin might look worse than the blubber staying intact
Food is pretty much the only thing in life that brings me joy. Why would I give that up?

>>82407155
regardless he's gonna hurt himself or get tendonitis because he's a fat untrained guy in his 30s and you learn real fucking fast that 30 and 13 are not the same in terms of fitness
ask me how i know