Thread 82836993

>be you
>stupid woman
>"I can't stand how men only chase my body, I want a man who likes me for my personality!"
>man gets to know you and likes your personality
>man says he wants to be more than friends
>"OMG you're ruining our friendship! I can't believe you just became friends with me to date me!"

No one will ever convince me to trust women man. They are all fucking retarded and evil.

>>82836993 (OP)
>No one will ever convince me to trust women man.
wat?

>>82837077
I will admit that I should have used a comma lol

>>82836993 (OP)
I hate women so fucking much bros
ORIGINAL 1

i don't have this problem because i'm not retarded and i can tell when a guy has nothing in common with me and just thinks i'm cute but:
interacting with a woman a few times in a social environment, becoming acquaintances, and then asking her out is VERY different from larping as a close platonic friend only to ask her out after a period of months, or worse, years. it's weak, cringe, and rarely works anyways. i wouldn't do that to a guy

>>82836993 (OP)
sounds like you a:

> money problem
> looks problem
> status problem

why are you trying to get women when you are a broke loser with no prospects?

you know what to do

>>82837692
>larping as a close platonic friend
Men arent like women, who know they will never like a man within 3 seconds of looking at him. Becoming a close platonic friend often reveals one's true qualities, which can lead to romantic attraction over time. Of course you wouldn't understand that.

>>82836993 (OP)
Holy fuck you just reminded me of a nightcore cover of a song from 10 years ago by saying "more than friends"

>https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MA9ERLFjh6g&list=RDMA9ERLFjh6g&start_radio=1&pp=ygUbbW9yZSB0aGFuIGZyaWVuZHMgbmlnaHRjb3JloAcB

>>82837737
dude, if she likes you for you, she wouldn't care about any of that

>>82837692
Hey yeah, been meaning to ask a woman's opinion on this
I hooked up with this girl, but I don't know where i fucked up or whatever but now she's into me
She keeps texting me and shit, she's cute and all but i'm not ready yet
How do I break it to her?

>>82837742
wrong. both men and women can tell if they'll like someone within 5 hours of talking to them. all of my long lasting friendships? we immediately got along. most people can't hide their shitty qualities or incompatible lifestyles if you talk to them in depth when you first meet them. waiting around for someone you don't really like to magically show you that they're actually smart and interesting and similar to you is literal retard behavior.

>>82837756
this is cope

all relationships/friendship are transactional

> she likes you for you
does not exist
you are not seeing the real world

>>82837756
just tell her you don't want her. why do you care? she's not entitled to a relationship with you and she will move on quickly unless you are some super unique guy which i seriously doubt

>>82837773
You're just a sociopath

>>82837778
>super unique guy
you don't know me like that yet

just tell her huh? better to rip the band-aid and all

>>82837779
>tell truth that could save many anons from bad situations instead of lying
>umm akshually you're a sociopath
many such cases

>>82837783
yeah i don't see what the big deal is, if she's willing to hook up then she probably isn't going to kill herself over you not sticking around
>you don't know me like that
what's so unique about you anon

>>82837692
But what if I want a very slow burn friends to inseparable lovers type of romance you soulless retard

I have no clue where the idea that women are the "romantic" gender came from. They're so fucking boring and awful at it. Kill yourself.

>>82837774
I've seen both worlds anon
I grew up an ugly fat weirdo, I know what it's like to not be liked and accepted
But as I got older, I got fit and became decently-attractive and I "mask" my weirdo side

>>82837785
I only became truly attracted to the only gf I ever had after a year of friendship. I wasnt attracted to her at first. Being around her made me realize how good of a human being she was, she was very shy at first and avoided speaking to me and always looked miserable, but slowly getting to know her through hanging out with her and mutual friends made me see a different side of her I could have never known about while being her "acquaintance". The fact that you judge people solely by their first impression proves you're a sociopath

>>82837802
>what's so unique about you anon
We gotta talk off site if you wanna find out, anon ;)

>>82837813
if you found her attractive at first you would have immediately worked to get to know her trve personality, that's literally what guys do. even if you show them your true personality, and it's not a good one, they fantasize that you're actually different from what you present as deep down.
>>82837808
you can easily have that while acknowledging initial attraction to each other and saving the physical/romantic stuff for later
it's called the MARSHMALLOW TEST
i wouldn't expect a generic gacha poster to understand anyways

>>82837847
>while acknowledging initial attraction to each other
What, like looking her in the eyes and always being happy when around her? Something which every guy who has a crush on a girl does naturally? Do you need it spelled out beyond that?
>gacha
It's just a reaction image you fucking tourist

>>82837859
>tourist
i've been using this site since i was pre double digits, there are SEVERAL renditions of the 3D women are not important meme. it is natural to assume that you are a fan of the version that you choose to use.
>>82837859
literally just say that you think she's cute and that you like her and then drag it out if she reciprocates but you want to dip your toes in slowly.
>looking her in the eyes
people look each other in the eyes when they interact, that's just polite. is chewing with your mouth closed also a flirting tactic to you? i'm happy around my professors but i don't want to date them

>>82837899>literally just say that you think she's cute and that you like her and then drag it out if she reciprocates but you want to dip your toes in slowly.
You know what? This is reasonable advice. And if she's interested then yeah, she would reciprocate. But what pisses me off is that you act like a guy is evil for being too awkward to be this straightforward, or wanting to get to know her better first, or even being bluepilled and thinking women don't like being complimented on their looks. There's a number of reasons, most stupid, but some reasonable, why a guy would take his time.
>larping as a close platonic friend only to ask her out after a period of months, or worse, years. it's weak, cringe, and rarely works anyways
And you know what? I never understood this part of female psychology, at all. Why wouldn't you want to date your close platonic friends? You have shit in common, you clearly like each other's personalities. And you've been around each other long enough that both of you are very comfortable around the other. Why the fuck would you want to stay as just friends?

Seriously, why are women so obsessed with a guy immediately asking them out? They act like it's some massive betrayal for a guy friend to tell her she likes her. And they're so priveledged it's a common situation for them. You don't even understand what it's like to not be desired because you're so used to it, so you not only take it for granted, you're repulsed by it. I just don't get it. I hate these gender roles so fucking much.

>>82838208
i don't think someone is evil for being too awkward, i am explicitly referring to guys who KNOW that the woman in question isn't interested in them and think that they can make her become interested by trying to appeal to her and acting nonthreatening instead of just admitting that they want her, which rarely even works unless the woman is extra mentally ill and vulnerable.
>why wouldn't you want to date your close platonic friends
ok, here's an example of something that can and does happen
>meet guy
>kinda like him, it's obvious that he thinks i'm cute, flirt sometimes
>then he randomly admits something crazy like having a dead ex girlfriend or a coke addiction or something
>instantly lose all attraction
>start airing my own dirty laundry so that he loses any romantic feelings for me that might have existed and understands that i'm not interested
>then we just become normal friends and vent to each other about stuff you wouldn't tell a potential lover
that is literally how male/female friendships work. you give each other the ick until you can just shoot the shit together like old buddies. and if no ick happens, then you probably end up dating early on. you still have mutual interests but you don't like each other romantically. this also works better if there isn't extreme physical attraction.
>it's a common situation
not for me, only had that happen once in highschool because i was a dumb kid and chose to be nice to someone who was retarded and didn't know how to take hints nor blatant rejections.

>>82838347
>ok, here's an example of something that can and does happen
That's a reasonable scenario. I don't think you're in the wrong there at all and I would feel the exact same way in your position. But I just don't think it happens that often. Most people aren't coke addicts or have some massive red flags like that. In my experience, the people you guys are rejecting and shitting on are socially awkward guys. I wouldn't even mind extrovert social butterflies doing it, but when it's fellow autists twisting that dagger even deeper, it just hurts. And considering that I'm that socially awkward guy constantly being rejected, I feel like I'm allowed to hate you for it as long as I acknowledge my bias.
>only had that happen once in highschool because i was a dumb kid and chose to be nice to someone who was retarded and didn't know how to take hints nor blatant rejections.
And what was his red flag? Why did you reject him? I think I can guess that no, that kid did not have a coke addiction or something insane. He was just socially awkward. And you guys are literal demons when it comes to socially awkward guys. Nothing else even matters besides that.

>>82838446
>most people aren't coke addicts
dude. i live in west LA. if it isn't coke, it's molly or pot.
most people i have met do have some crazy red flags. if you act okay with everything, then people will quickly reveal their true colors. but a red flag could also be something more subtle, such as a few too many exes, an inability to think critically, or a victim complex.
>why did you reject him
LMAO
>i already had a boyfriend at the time, which he knew
>he was fat and had horrible taste in everything, just imagine the most generic american retard who listens to nu metal and thinks that they're cool and hip for just finding about anime
>he tried very hard to be funny, but was not
>he showed me porn on his phone
>he had 0 future goals and was proud of this
>when i rejected him for the third time, he pulled out a pocket knife, slashed my wrist, and was promptly expelled from our school
he was NOT socially awkward, just dumb, ugly, and loud. fun fact: this incident unironically caused me to become more racist, which ended up being a net positive
also sidenote but if you think that most people don't have massive red flags then you seriously have not interacted with enough people.

>>82838549
>most people don't have massive red flags then you seriously have not interacted with enough people.
True, I've become very withdrawn lately. Never had much interactions with other people that became deep enough to see red flags anyway. I think part of the problem is that you're in West LA though... Not exactly the paragon of morals, anon.

>>why did you reject him
>LMAO
>>i already had a boyfriend at the time, which he knew
>>he was fat and had horrible taste in everything, just imagine the most generic american retard who listens to nu metal and thinks that they're cool and hip for just finding about anime
>>he tried very hard to be funny, but was not
>>he showed me porn on his phone
>>he had 0 future goals and was proud of this
>>when i rejected him for the third time, he pulled out a pocket knife, slashed my wrist, and was promptly expelled from our school
Fair enough, this is all very reasonable. I'd do the exact same if I were you. I think the fact that you kept being friends with him anyway was too kind, but you already know that. Sorry for being argumentative, I just assume the worst by default, bad habit.

I'm not gonna lie, there's this really cute girl at my job (warehouse work). We're casual friends, don't know too much about each other but pretty sure she likes being around me, we've spent a few lunch breaks together and chat when we see each other. It's been 2 months though, and I'm a retard so I haven't dropped any obvious hints that I'm into her. Would I be a creep to ask her out? Is this the scenario of "platonic friend you want nothing romantic with asks you out and it's creepy"? What would you do in my position?

>>82836993 (OP)
Do you ever imagine a world where women weren't programmed to look down on men since birth?

>>82838655
other places have other problems with less stuff to do, but i'd like to relocate to the east coast after i graduate. not that nyc is exactly moral, but it's more my scene. anyways, not sure if you're still browsing, but here's my advice:
>would i be a creep
absolutely not, as you said, you're casual friends and don't know much about each other. the creep factor only emerges when you intentionally get someone to divulge personal details in the hopes of using the information to get close to them while acting unassuming. i would generally not recommend mixing work with romance, but i kinda get the impression that there aren't a ton of opportunities for meeting people near you. it sounds like the job is somewhat disposable (although i can't be sure), but i'd still be absolutely sure that she won't complain to your boss if she ends up being offended somehow. so here are my questions:
>what does she talk about when you chat? does she have any signs of being crazy such as dyed hair, tattoos, piercings, excessive makeup etc?
>is she significantly younger or older than you?
>is she the same race as you?
these all matter for whether or not it's a good idea to ask her out, since workplace situations can be tricky

>>82838806
Hey, still here! I really appreciate you helping me anon. I'm a complete autist so I'm really nervous about it, but I'm basically forcing myself to go through with it no matter what and see what happens. Would appreciate any advice from your perspective.
>>what does she talk about when you chat? does she have any signs of being crazy such as dyed hair, tattoos, piercings, excessive makeup etc?
We've mostly talked about work and our families (basic details) and things around us. Sometimes it's just banter and nothing in particular. I honestly don't even know what her hobbies are, I really gotta escalate and get to slightly deeper conversations but my already shit social skills drop even more when I'm around her. I think I'm at least decent at small talk, but it feels impossible when nervous.
The biggest mental sign is that she has an eyebrow piercing, and I think she's had dyed hair but it's worn out, I can't tell. I think it's a small thing. She seems normal, but I don't know. And even if she was insane, she's worth the risk tbqh
>>is she significantly younger or older than you?
I'm 21, she's 20.
>>is she the same race as you?
I'm white, she's middle eastern (but grew up in my country, UK, so I don't think there's a cultural divide)

>>82838849
>eyebrow piercing
oh no no no
even if it does work you WILL be hit with a rape accusation at some point. however, if this doesn't bother you (or you just don't believe me), i think that you should go for it. second gen MENA people are super easy if you're white, especially the hyper-westernized ones who get eyebrow piercings. they're usually self hating and mentally ill but it doesn't seem like you mind too much ;) with the way that you've described her, i would guess that she not only receives a lot of attention but also welcomes it. this is something to keep in mind if you don't want to end up on what zoomers call... the roster. the horror! honestly, you sounded pretty obnoxious at first, and it does seem like you have a slight tendency to make assumptions. however, as our discussion continued, i feel as though you dropped that. being able to have a reasonable conversation about something that you feel strongly about is a positive quality. i don't think that your behavior and social skills would be a problem, so i guess it all depends on whether or not she finds you physically attractive or if she's even available right now since she could have a boyfriend or something. i think that you should ask her for coffee... or tea, since you live in the UK.

>>82837406
Some people are retarded and have 0 capacity to interpolate, they can only grasp things if theyre concretely laid out in rigid format. The gist of a thing escapes them

>>82838964
>oh no no no
Believe me, that's my reaction too. But the crush is big enough that I'm ignoring it.
>it does seem like you have a slight tendency to make assumptions
You have to be fair to me, calling a guy friend "close" but then seeing him as cringe or pathetic for asking you out hits on my biggest insecurities. I've had a small number of female friends I get crushes on, and it's always lead to a rejection. And it really hurts because I always think we're compatible and I always think we like being around each other enough for me to escalate, but they're never actually interested and then the friendship ends, and I bet in their minds they feel betrayed or creeped out too. And it would at least soften the blow if I knew exactly why they're rejecting me, I'm not perfect and I'd be willing to work on myself.
To me, a guy asking a girl out is not betrayal at all, I actually can't think of a bigger compliment - that he thinks you're sincerely compatible and thinks of you as a great woman - as long as he's not just being controlled by his dick (which, to be fair, a lot of guys are)
>being able to have a reasonable conversation about something that you feel strongly about is a positive quality.
You're too kind, you were the reasonable one here. You're very articulate, when you put your thoughts into a concrete situation using a green text, I couldn't even keep being biased about it. You made your perspective clear and I can see from it, so I can't keep being unreasonable even if that would be my normal reaction. "If I was in your shoes, I would feel/do the exact same" is my only reaction
>i think that you should ask her for coffee...
I had a different plan for a first date. I was gonna ask her to walk around a local mall and maybe go to an arcade, and I'll get us some food. Is that too much? Coffee feels too generic to me, and there's nothing to do but talk so my social skills will get put to the test too much if I don't have an actual activity planned.

>>82838964
>>82839126
Also, while I'm asking for advice, I'm not too attached to the job but I have such massive trauma from making women uncomfortable that I think having a pre-planned a line for when she rejects me to hopefully leave on good terms and not make her report me to HR would be a good idea. What would you say in my position? Do you think "I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable, have a nice day" and going away would be fine?

I sincerely thank you for your help, I'm quite nervous about it but I'll ask her some time next week. Talking with you has helped me out quite a bit mentally. Thanks! If you see a thread venting about being rejected around that time, it's probably me since this is my comfort place currently

>whole thread is a retarded woman proving OPs point for him.

Me and my gf were platonic friends and coworkers for an entire year before we started dating out of convenience.
We already liked each other as friends and saw each other every day, why not start fucking too?

The woman ITT (and any woman) is severely mentally ill if they think there is anything wrong with asking out a female friend, your lover SHOULD be a close friend to you.

>>82839126
>calling a guy friend close
well i've never actually had a close guy friend that tried anything with me, that's just a common scenario i'm aware of. the guy from the story i told was just a student who didn't even communicate with me outside of school. i have a very straightforward personality so i don't think that those types of guys would ever even get close to me. i also think that some women just need to develop stronger boundaries and make it very clear to their male friends that they aren't interested, for the sake of everyone involved. some men won't listen but the normal ones will. that's kind of off topic, though.
>maybe go to an arcade
ok, this honestly sounds really fun to me, i love arcades and i think that games have become too indoors in the last 10 years or so. i think it's a great idea, but some people can feel awkward in an arcade because it's a public place where everyone can watch you fail. i know that's how i felt learning how to play ddr... i always had to bring someone with me so that i wouldn't feel cornered. so maybe ensure that she isn't the self conscious type, although many girls like being brought out of their comfort zone. i think it's a great (and almost retro) date idea.
>>82839136
>would that be fine
yes, as long as you don't sound like you're guilt tripping her or expecting something. personally, i would say "sorry if you felt uncomfortable, have a nice day" instead of assuming that she feels uncomfortable, which could seem pushy or malicious. i would smile while i say it and use a very casual tone.
>thanks
no problem, best of luck
>if you see a thread
kek i'll keep an eye out

>>82839279
i don't think that asking out a female friend is wrong, i think that befriending someone for the purpose of dating them and not making your interest clear is shady. it's just not something that i would do.

>>82839325
>make it very clear to their male friends that they aren't interested
What do you think the most common reasons a woman wouldn't be interested are though?

>>82839409
>they don't find you externally attractive
>they do but they don't find you internally attractive
>they do but then you say or do something that seems normal to you but is in reality a huge turnoff
>they just don't want to date at the moment for whatever reason
>they are interested but feel like they can't act on it due to social or familial pressure