Thread 83037202

>be me
>spend a few years as a NEET
>eventually get fed up, start getting fit, looking for a real career
>finally get my shit together, making money, no longer fat.
>still completely empty inside

My outlook is so bleak bros.
All this shit is pointless if I'm completely fucking alone. I just work and come home now.

Forget real relationships, I cant even find a whore to fuck, Im so alone. I know some faggot is going to tell me to just pay for sex but thats a last resort once I reach prime wizardhood

I just can't meet women naturally I only see them in passing. I work with a bunch of women but they're married or old and married. When they talk about there partners it makes me sad, I always knew I'd be alone or never married but I least thought I'd have girlfriends every now and then. But I'm just a chud incel who can't even fellow femcels or incel chuds to respond to me because everyone is so "lonely" or "wants to be obsessed over" but they never add you back.

>>83037808
Same. I interact with my female coworkers sporadically and dating apps are a bust.
I have no options.

>>83037999
Dating apps are scams we're not retards so I won't go into how or why plus we all pretty much have the same experience.

My interactions with my female coworkers are for about 5 minutes before we have to start boarding. For the rest of 3 hours I sit alone in a room with 5-17 dogs cleaning up their piss and shit and entertaining and comforting/petting them.

While waiting for the bus at the train station today I almost stepped onto the tracks for an upcoming train nobody was around and I felt such a pull... But that insticnt of self preservation or fear of death always kicks in and here we are. Just hoping and praying for the day that that I can just ignore that feeling and give in. Technology advancements and AI scare me and I'm not tech savvy so everything becoming digital frustrates me. The news gives me hope for apocalypse but I know that if there would be an actual apocalypse I would just to die because I'm a retard who can't do anything or be killed by a main character Chad.
My outlook is beyond bleak. I am not having a good time. I believe in God but I don't believe prayer does anything I don't believe in a interventionist God. Just one who watches his fantasy play out like a cuck and this cuck hates me.

same thing happened to me. now neet again at 32. will probably be dead before 40. Despite the fact I'm in serious athletic shape now.

My theory is that if you miss essential milestones and go off track from the normie routes in life at all, at any period, for more than like a few months, maybe a year or two max, you'll never re enter the stream of being a "normal" person. This is what I've found, even when I got my life together I was just emulating what I thought I should do, there was zero authentic drive behind it. And you then face the crushing realisation that it wasn't actually circumstances that were making you like this, something fundamental inside your core snapped a long time ago that can't be repaired, whether it was trauma, mental illness etc.

You can't put humpty dumpty back together again

>>83038237
Beautifully said. I feel the same way wholeheartedly. I'm living in the corrupted timeline. When I die, I'll be reincarnated into the corrected timeline. In this one, I've learned everything too late. Life is 99% misery, loneliness and depression, and 1% happiness at absolute most. I'm so excited for the next timeline which will include fulfilling relationships and financial freedom. I'll escape the rat race on my early 20s and spend the rest of my life enjoying women, friends, experiences. It's the only thing I look forward to anymore. In this timeline, there is no God, or Jesus, or Holy Spirit. But in the corrected timeline, I can hear and feel Jesus. He exists and blesses me. In this timeline, Jesus is nowhere to be found. No God whatsoever, I've never heard or felt God even once in my 34 years.

This is how I cope. The highest cope imaginable: accepting that I'm in the corrupted timeline. Accepting that "God" invented a tick that gave me Lyme Disease at age 6 which ruined my life forever. That tiny insect got to live 24 additional hours from sucking my blood, in exchange for utterly ruining my 70 year of life I would have been able to live. THIS IS HOW I KNOW THERE'S NO GOD OR JESUS OR HEAVEN. WHY WOULD "GOD" INVENT TICKS???

>>83038237
I think this is part of it but its also the fact that if you're not a normie these milestones were probably never gonna happen in the first place.

When you're not a normie you're on an entire different track.

>>83038381
yeah I agree with that essentially. I was a weirdo autistic daydreaming outcast my entire life, but I guess school and forced socialisation of school masked that. I could even blend in pretty well and had friends in school who liked me well enough.
But it was around the last year of high school to when it ended that I realised something was seriously wrong with me. All my friends were developing into functional adults who could do all this shit I couldn't without barely even thinking about it. Getting jobs, gfs, wider social circle.
As soon as school ended I was completely lost. I had no desire to study anything or get a career. and had spent all my formative adolescent years on 4chan, getting stoned, playing vidya and occasionally getting drunk with friends who kind of just tolerated me.

I really don't even know if there's any alternative where I turned out like a regular person in any regard

same thing happened to me. i spend 20 years drinking, smoking weed and playing wow.
i finally got my shit together. become sober and finally got a job. worked for 1 year and noticed this is just unbearable way of living. maybe i got 200e more on working than just on welfare.
thank god i live in nordic country where it easy to go back neeting. now i just somehow need to find purpose what to do next 30-40 years

>>83038237
Beautifully said anon, that moved me. I feel the exact same. I got /fit/, I went back to college and suffered until I got a job. It doesn't matter. I can't "work" my way to being someone that normies don't sniff out as an outsider within seconds from the years of subtle social behaviours, countenance and confidence I missed out on. And I didn't become this in my mid 20s when I neeted, I was like this as a teenager.

>>83037202 (OP)
>empty inside
Don't worry, most normies are. You'll do fine. Continue to normify yourself.

If you confuse gratification with happiness you will suffer your entire life. Your own existence IS happiness, dissolve your mental bonds, bathe in bliss.