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Thread 12474631

47 posts 52 images /s4s/
Anonymous No.12474631 >>12475243 >>12475784 >>12477986
Snek Court
On the docket today: Yuji Sssssakai in sssssuing Captain Pee for defamation for alleging that he eats sssssshit. Will the plaintiff come forward and pressssssent their case?
Sssssnek Court is now in sessssssion!
lol
Anonymous No.12474638
Thisssss will be an interesssssting case

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again
Anonymous No.12474639
lol
Anonymous No.12474640
Your honor, exhibit one:
ASS
Anonymous No.12475238
lole
Moloko No.12475243
>>12474631 (OP)
Great televissssssion drama
Anonymous No.12475251 >>12475768
do u have a ssssshed of evidence?
Anonymous No.12475768
>>12475251
exssssssibit A: the offending publication >>12473347
Captain Pee of the Federation Starship Ree No.12475784
>>12474631 (OP)
I'm filing a motion for the court to dismiss this case.
The very evidence being levied against me itself contains
my refutation of any defamation alleged.

As you can all clearly see, Yuji does indeed eat shit.
Declaring what is to be true is not defamation.
To set such a precedent would plunge our very society
into a darkness where truth is treated as crime and the
actions of those who seek to despoil and rot our countries
from within, and from without, are left with free reign to
commit atrocity and convince the people of absurdity with
no recourse for the victims. To silence the truth and deny
objective observation is to create and enforce a false consensus
that would damn us all to death and destruction and silence, on
false pretenses, and dissenting voices yearning for justice, law,
and order.

This isn't about Yuji and his fecal fixations.
This is about freedom of speech, freedom of the press, and the
future of the United Federation of Planets and of /s4s/.

I'd like to submit the following picrelated to the courts to further
emphasize, once again, that Yuji does indeed eat shit.
Anonymous No.12475811 >>12475816 >>12476464
Your honor, Yuji is clearly eating chocolate, not actual shit.
Captain Pee of the Federation Starship Ree No.12475815
I would like to also submit a document obtained via discovery
created this very day by the plaintif
that clearly shows his signature and includes selfies
not only of him eating shit
but also engaging in shit related activities
I would ask the court to pay special notice to the answers he filled in
T U R D S
This clearly spells turds and proves not only his fecal fixation
but also a complete disregard for the norms and rules of society
Captain Pee of the Federation Starship Ree No.12475816
>>12475811
This evidence, gathered by Starfleet Intelligence, begs to differ.
Dr. Pee of Area 51 (no relation) No.12475826 >>12475835
Captain Pee is innocent. In fact, I have managed to secure evidence,
both written and otherwise, that not only confirms Captain Pee's testimony,
but also reveals a much darker series of events.
The accusations against Captain Pee are outrageous, especially with
consideration that Yuji is a wanted criminal in several systems
and in Federation space! The very evidence presented by Yuji shows him firing upon
a Federation starship after Kidnapping a member of the Catarian royal guard, Sir Whiskers.
Sir Whiskers of Cataria No.12475829 >>12475835
Your honor, if I may..
I am Sir Whiskers of Cataria, first of my name, and royal Knight, and Duke of the Nippy hills of Nippyland.
As you can see, I am very fluffy and cute, your honor.
I was kidnapped *points at Yuji* by this fece demon!
I personally witnessed him devour a great deal of fecal matter, far more than his stick figure body could naturally retain.
Were it not for the efforts of the Captain Pee and the Federation, I'd surely be dead right now.
This assault upon captain Pee is a travesty, your honor.
I ask, on behalf of my people and all those of the Federation that you dismiss this trial and hold Yuji accountable for making a mockery of the law.
Captain Pee of the Federation Starship Ree No.12475835
>>12475826
>>12475829
You guys... =*)
Anonymous No.12475838 >>12475841 >>12475854
President Spikeman will pardon Yuji for any crimes he is convicted of.
Captain Pee of the Federation Starship Ree No.12475841
>>12475838
What happens in Spikeman space is beyond the authority of s4s or the Federation.
However know this, if that demon sets foot in our space again, he will be held accountable.
He may have escaped justice today, but we will remain forever vigilent.
I will remain forever vigilent.
Captain Pee of the Federation Starship Ree No.12475854
>>12475838
Yuji Sakai No.12475878 >>12475897
Damn you, Captain Pee!
You blew up my fucking spaceship
Now I have to take the bus
https://voca.ro/16N0TEk4BhSR
Anonymous No.12475897
>>12475878
Anonymous No.12475905 >>12475959
This is some convincing evidence. Will Yuji Sakai please come forward to refute this or is he giving up?
Captain Pee of the Federation Starship Ree No.12475959 >>12475972
>>12475905
Not only does this trial exonerate me
It proves Yuji's guilt in a myriad of crimes
and his collaboration with an enemy of s4s and the federation
*taps comm badge*
take him away, boys
This trial is over.
Captain Pee of the Federation Starship Ree No.12475972
>>12475959
son of a bitch!
Captain Pee of the Federation Starship Ree No.12475977 >>12476082
Captain Pee of the Federation Starship Ree No.12476082
>>12475977
I'll check my own dubs. It's fine.
Anonymous No.12476458
I'd like to introduce into evidence the following ssssssstatement:
As we all are Yuji Sssssssakai, the exemplary products and the conssssssequences thereof ssshould befall all of those currently presssssent in this court
Dub Destroyer No.12476464 >>12477248
>>12475811
dubs confirm Yuji is not eating sh*t also Yuji does nottd look like an alien he looks like an anime character (Yuji Sakai)
Anonymous No.12476466 >>12477054
this will definitely make into the papers

Your fortune: Average Luck
Anonymous No.12477054
>>12476466
dubs of newsworthiness
Captain Pee of the Starship Ree No.12477248
>>12476464
Not on my watch, Yuji
The attemps of the Shitbox Consortium to assimilate s4s and the United Federation of Frogs will fail.
Starfleet stands at the ready.
The Bury Brigade remains strong.
The knights of Cataria are ever faithful.

Resistance is nice.
Captain Pee of the Starship Ree No.12477278
If people knew what Yuji really is
The Shitbox Consortium would fall overnight.
Private Bury No.12477303
I fought the Shitbox Consortium.
Armies of Yujis, of Ruders
Not so impressive when their guts are spread across the trees
The gore of it reminded me of holiday tinsel
Christmas lights
The smell of a fire and the anticipation of hot cocoa
As I watched them drip from above and splatter on the cold ground
Under the indifferent gods, beneath their silent gaze
Only one word came to my mind
Nice
I releaded my weapon and charged
But there wasn't a ruder left standing. Not a single Yuji remained.
Next time I want to see it in their eyes
My reflection staring back at me as I bonk them with my rifle
I want to know if after all this I have a reflection at all
Or if I've become a soulless angel of death
*sniff*
Smells like ruder guts, enough to make a bury grind her teeth
And spit
But I keep it nice, I swallow the grit
The dirt caked on my face stings with sweat and powder burn
Before I realized it, we were marching to the next ruder hideout
They never saw us coming
I saw my reflection again
And again
And again
Until I couldn't recognize her at all
*sniff* I'm starting to like that smell
It's kind of nice

I stand with Captain Pee.
The Alliance of Bury's, Frogs, and Catarians
Should rise up and invade Shitbox Consortium space
Put a final end to this madness
Enough of the skirmishes
Of show trials
Petty tabloids feasting on the enless sea of Bury corpses
By our pink blood are all free worlds kept safe
It's time to put an end to this
*sniff*
Anonymous No.12477325 >>12477352
Is this the face of a man who eats shit? I don't think so.
Dr. Pee of Area 51 (no relation) No.12477352
>>12477325
These results speak for themselves.
Starfleet Intelligence No.12477454
(((...Transmission Intercepted...)))
(((...Handshake Protocols initiated...)))
(((...Spoofing and Goofing...)))
(((...Decompressing...)))
(((...Decompression Complete...)))
(((...Play Messsage? Y/N...)))
Y
(((...Message Playing...)))
((..,.,,.,(^&%(...Sender;;;President.Spikeman#@@$%))
((..,.,.,.)@&^#(...Reciever``~Judge.Snek$#@%))

Damn you, Judge Snek!
What am I even paying you for?
You promised me that you'd put Captain Pee in chains!
Instead he's made a fool of us all!
I'm so angry
grrr
rawr
This means WAR!

(((...End of Transmission...)))
(((...To Playback Transmission press 1...)))
(((...To Save Transmission, press 3...)))
(((...To Delete Transmission, prepss 7...)))
7
wait shit.. back..
1
1
(((...Message Deleted...)))
FUGG!
Anonymous No.12477971 >>12477975
what is this strange gray thing that Captain Ree has propped up to impersonate Yuji Sakai?
Anonymous No.12477975 >>12478840
>>12477971
That is the true Yuji Sakai
Anonymous No.12477986 >>12477994
>>12474631 (OP)
i don't think anything will happen here as far as ssssnk goes, they have very limited jurisdiction
but then again, who knows what ssssnk will do?
Anonymous No.12477994
>>12477986
This was all a plot by Spikeman to have Captain Pee thrown into some offworld dungeon
Yujis are the pawns of evil
The Shitbox Consortium has already been invaded.
The war has begun.
*ominous music*
Anonymous No.12478308 >>12480195
hissss
Anonymous No.12478840 >>12479619
>>12477975
I dunno that just looks like some meth head you found in a new mexican desert to me
Anonymous No.12479542 >>12479619
Yuji was framed.
Anonymous No.12479566 >>12479619 >>12480701
ORDER IN THE COURT, ORDER IN THE FUCKING COURT.
Anonymous No.12479619
>>12478840
His name is Yuji.
I can neither confirm nor deny his meth usage
though often he's found lurking around Florida.
>>12479542
Wrong. Yuji attempted to frame captain Pee.
Got caught.
Fled the sham trial HE initiated.
Ignited a global thermonuclear war on an alien planet.
The list of his crimes exceeds the character limit of this reply.
>>12479566
checked and reject
you DASTARDLY FIEND OF FOUL FALSEHOODS!
Reveal your forked tongue!
Anonymous No.12480195 >>12480269
>>12478308
captain pee can't even speak for himself, how is he gonna sssspeak for the rest of his life?

yuji is actually a dumber and smaller sized snake, but he's in a position of power over captain pee and so we'll see what
Anonymous No.12480269
>>12480195
i mean, i thought you guys were sssssick of this shit, but the sssssad truth is that most of you ssssuck at ssssshooting and ssssneed and other sssssports.
Anonymous No.12480701
>>12479566
Sssh, don't tell anyone ssssson this, it is the secret ssssoup of my ssssoul, but the plaintiff will have their sssshere and sssscussion sssdismissed, as Captain Pee was merely ssssaying