i dont own a single legendary

>run 5k
>25.30
>I eat junk food, drink a lot, haven't been exercising regularly
>this is okay
>find out I've actually been running 4.85k because I didn't plan my route
Not good lads I feel like a fake.

I'm a third worlder and I'm visiting for ten days. How do I land a job where I can be sponsored and eventually be a citizen? I want to be an American and I don't want to stay in my crappy country. Any real advice would be appreciated. I am willing to pay the sponsorship money of course.

MAXIMUM ZOG

>congress must decide
>they all vote for war