>parents are thin, great metabolism, can eat 1 million calories and still wont gain weight
>me, metabolism non-existent, fat, they fed me shit food growing up and now even eating under 800cals daily my body wont lose weight

thanks to pcos my body is cursed to be fat and disgusting. i want to die. thin women are so beautiful i can never be like that because i didn't inherit my parents genetics and instead got a fucking disease that makes it impossible to lose anything without starving

i ate 600cals last 2 days AND I GAINED??? IM NOT MISCALCULATING IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF

i want to lose weight cause being a fat woman is disgusting and i hate having big arms and a fat face and a big back but:

>$2k worth of clothes already in my size, some are impossible to buy now
>arms already covered in flab because i lost 35kg and it never recovered (its been almost 4 years)

i want to die for being fat but idfk

>eat ~1200 cals every day for 3 years
>typical meals are 800cals
>1 meal
>some months intense exercise, walking lots of kilometres every day, situps, weight lifting
>some months no or little exercise
>take meds to kill hunger and lose weight
>drink energy drinks to kill hunger
>junk food only two times a month for those 3 years
>still cant fucking lose weight
>only took inducing diarrhoea for 12 weeks to lose 4 kilograms after 3 years

what the fuck is wrong with my fucking body oh my fucking god

i know i have medical conditions that fuck with weight loss (pcos mainly) but i basically need to starve to see results. i had an ED before this where i didn't eat shit for 2 months and only lost 5 fucking kilograms