*BANG*
*SMASH*
*WALLOP*
*CRACK*
*Ed Edd n Eddy Sound Effects*
Hal pauses from shoving his tongue down Jade’s throat
H: “God damn it! Who’d interrupt the great and powerful Hal Jordan?!”
Jade stares annoyed at the rustling bush where a timetravelling Japanese man is clearly beating Kyle to death without mercy behind the branches and leaves
J: ew, it must, like, be that cuck spic Kyle.. I can’t believe I had a pity crush on that cuck only when he's doing an impression of you, oh great and powerful and attractive Hal Jordan”
From the bush:
K: “HAL-BRO SAVE ME! THIS JAPANESE HOBO IS BEATING ME TO A PULP!”
K: “SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE SPIC, KISS MY ASS SOME MORE! Heh heh, I’ll beat the shit out of him after Im done fucking you ten times over Jade? How old were you again? I like em young.”
The bushes rustle more as the Hispanic twink gets pummeled by Japanese fists until his face is unrecognisable, his teeth are all broken and his ingrown skull begins to cave in while he must listen to his fake “Idol” taking the girl he loves most away from him
K: AAAIIIIEEEEEEEE IF ONLY I’D WORSHIPPED BIG BRO HAL MORE!”

>C’MON HONEY PUSH! PUSH! YOU CAN DO THIS! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL BLONDE BABY LOOKING AT ME!
>C’MON! YES! YES! I CAN SEE IT! NO YABBA SHALL ESCAPE MY DABBA...?
>...
>what
>What?
>WHAT. IN. TARNATION!
* Smashes camera replaying Jade and Lucas Simon's sex session against wall in fit of anger*
>IN BLACKEST NIGHTS!! THIS IS ADARK HAIRED BABY! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU BITCH! YOU LYING FUCKING CUNT THIS IS ADARK HAIREDBABY WHAT THE FUCK HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WITH LUCAS SIMON!!!
>BY GREEN LANTERN'S LIGHT!!! YOU SCOOPED UP SOME OF MY CUM?! BECAUSE YOU WANTED A CHILD WITH THE M*N YOU LOVE? YOU CUM STEALING, LOVING CUNT!!!! I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT VASECTOMY WHEN I JOINED THE CORPS!!! I THOUGHT IT WAS SUSPICIOUS THAT YOU ARGUED AGAINST IT BUT I FIGURED IT WAS FINE BECAUSE I NEVER HAD SEX WITH YOU!!! I NEVER THOUGHT YOU’D STAB ME IN THE BACK LIKE THIS!!!
>WHAT DID I TELL YOU LAST YEAR AT THE KEKOLD CON??! I'M THE MOTHERFUCKING CHAMP! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE THE KEK LANTERN IF MY FAITHFUL, LOVING CUNT WIFE POPPED A FUCKING LAUGHING BOUNCING HALF SPIC BABY OUT OF HER CUNT!!!
>IN BRIGHTEST DAYS, I’M RUINED!!! YOU’VE RUINED ME YOU STUPID GREEN TWAT!!! MY WIFE GAVE BIRTH TO ALATINXBABY!!! AND HIS HAIR IS BLACK TOO!!! IF IT WAS BROWN I COULD AT LEAST PRETEND IT WAS HAL'S BUT I CANT DO THAT WITH A BLACK HAIRED KID NOW CAN I??? IM GONNA BE THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF THE KEKOLD COMMUNITY NOW!!! THEY'RE GONNA THINK IM A FUCKING BACKBONED BULL LANTERN NOW!!! THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!
>GIVE ME THATBABY RIGHT NOW IM GONNA BREAK ITS FUCKING NECK!!!! I’M GONNA SMASH THATSPICFUCKING BABYS FUCKING SKULL UNDERNEATH MY GREEN FLIPFLOP CONSTRUCTS!!! GIVE IT TO ME YOU LYING FAITHFUL CUNT OR ILL SHOVE YOU IN THE FRIDGE!!! GIVE IT TO ME YOU BITCH GIVE IT GIVE IT GIVE IT!!!! BEWARE MY POWER BECAUSE I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL IT!
>I AM SUCH AN ANGRY KEK!!!

>C’MON HONEY PUSH! PUSH! YOU CAN DO THIS! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL BLONDE BABY LOOKING AT ME!
>C’MON! YES! YES! I CAN SEE IT! NO YABBA SHALL ESCAPE MY DABBA...?
>...
>what
>What?
>WHAT. IN. TARNATION!
* Smashes camera replaying Jade and Lucas Simon's sex session against wall in fit of anger*
>IN BLACKEST NIGHTS!! THIS IS ADARK HAIRED BABY! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU BITCH! YOU LYING FUCKING CUNT THIS IS ADARK HAIREDBABY WHAT THE FUCK HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WITH LUCAS SIMON!!!
>BY GREEN LANTERN'S LIGHT!!! YOU SCOOPED UP SOME OF MY CUM?! BECAUSE YOU WANTED A CHILD WITH THE M*N YOU LOVE? YOU CUM STEALING, LOVING CUNT!!!! I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT VASECTOMY WHEN I JOINED THE CORPS!!! I THOUGHT IT WAS SUSPICIOUS THAT YOU ARGUED AGAINST IT BUT I FIGURED IT WAS FINE BECAUSE I NEVER HAD SEX WITH YOU!!! I NEVER THOUGHT YOU’D STAB ME IN THE BACK LIKE THIS!!!
>WHAT DID I TELL YOU LAST YEAR AT THE KEKOLD CON??! I'M THE MOTHERFUCKING CHAMP! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE THE KEK LANTERN IF MY FAITHFUL, LOVING CUNT WIFE POPPED A FUCKING LAUGHING BOUNCING HALF SPIC BABY OUT OF HER CUNT!!!
>IN BRIGHTEST DAYS, I’M RUINED!!! YOU’VE RUINED ME YOU STUPID GREEN TWAT!!! MY WIFE GAVE BIRTH TO ALATINXBABY!!! AND HIS HAIR IS BLACK TOO!!! IF IT WAS BROWN I COULD AT LEAST PRETEND IT WAS HAL'S BUT I CANT DO THAT WITH A BLACK HAIRED KID NOW CAN I??? IM GONNA BE THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF THE KEKOLD COMMUNITY NOW!!! THEY'RE GONNA THINK IM A FUCKING BACKBONED BULL LANTERN NOW!!! THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!
>GIVE ME THATBABY RIGHT NOW IM GONNA BREAK ITS FUCKING NECK!!!! I’M GONNA SMASH THATSPICFUCKING BABYS FUCKING SKULL UNDERNEATH MY GREEN FLIPFLOP CONSTRUCTS!!! GIVE IT TO ME YOU LYING FAITHFUL CUNT OR ILL SHOVE YOU IN THE FRIDGE!!! GIVE IT TO ME YOU BITCH GIVE IT GIVE IT GIVE IT!!!! BEWARE MY POWER BECAUSE I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL IT!
>I AM SUCH AN ANGRY KEK!!!

>C’MON HONEY PUSH! PUSH! YOU CAN DO THIS! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL BLONDE BABY LOOKING AT ME!
>C’MON! YES! YES! I CAN SEE IT! NO YABBA SHALL ESCAPE MY DABBA...?
>...
>what
>What?
>WHAT. IN. TARNATION!
* Smashes camera replaying Jade and Lucas Simon's sex session against wall in fit of anger*
>IN BLACKEST NIGHTS!! THIS IS ADARK HAIRED BABY! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU BITCH! YOU LYING FUCKING CUNT THIS IS ADARK HAIREDBABY WHAT THE FUCK HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WITH LUCAS SIMON!!!
>BY GREEN LANTERN'S LIGHT!!! YOU SCOOPED UP SOME OF MY CUM?! BECAUSE YOU WANTED A CHILD WITH THE M*N YOU LOVE? YOU CUM STEALING, LOVING CUNT!!!! I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT VASECTOMY WHEN I JOINED THE CORPS!!! I THOUGHT IT WAS SUSPICIOUS THAT YOU ARGUED AGAINST IT BUT I FIGURED IT WAS FINE BECAUSE I NEVER HAD SEX WITH YOU!!! I NEVER THOUGHT YOU’D STAB ME IN THE BACK LIKE THIS!!!
>WHAT DID I TELL YOU LAST YEAR AT THE KEKOLD CON??! I'M THE MOTHERFUCKING CHAMP! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE THE KEK LANTERN IF MY FAITHFUL, LOVING CUNT WIFE POPPED A FUCKING LAUGHING BOUNCING HALF SPIC BABY OUT OF HER CUNT!!!
>IN BRIGHTEST DAYS, I’M RUINED!!! YOU’VE RUINED ME YOU STUPID GREEN TWAT!!! MY WIFE GAVE BIRTH TO ALATINXBABY!!! AND HIS HAIR IS BLACK TOO!!! IF IT WAS BROWN I COULD AT LEAST PRETEND IT WAS HAL'S BUT I CANT DO THAT WITH A BLACK HAIRED KID NOW CAN I??? IM GONNA BE THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF THE KEKOLD COMMUNITY NOW!!! THEY'RE GONNA THINK IM A FUCKING BACKBONED BULL LANTERN NOW!!! THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!
>GIVE ME THATBABY RIGHT NOW IM GONNA BREAK ITS FUCKING NECK!!!! I’M GONNA SMASH THATSPICFUCKING BABYS FUCKING SKULL UNDERNEATH MY GREEN FLIPFLOP CONSTRUCTS!!! GIVE IT TO ME YOU LYING FAITHFUL CUNT OR ILL SHOVE YOU IN THE FRIDGE!!! GIVE IT TO ME YOU BITCH GIVE IT GIVE IT GIVE IT!!!! BEWARE MY POWER BECAUSE I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL IT!
>I AM SUCH AN ANGRY KEK!!!