i don't have any friends, or family, or anything at all. i don't even have online friends. i have nothing to look forward to in my day to day life. i'm just stuck inside my tiny communist apartment mindlessly browsing the internet in an attempt to numb myself day after day until i pass out. i don't enjoy anime and vidya anymore, or anything that used to make me happy, really. everything i do feels so worthless because i'm doing it all alone. i have no one to share anything with. i have no happy memories of my past. i have 0 life experience at my age. i've got no future. i just don't know what to do anymore. i feel scared and anxious just by existing every single day. i wish i had the courage to off myself right now in this second. i'll probably do it on my birthday because i can't handle another birthday alone like this. the thought of christmas and new years is dreadful as well. i wish euthanasia was legal here or something.

>>81808138
no, my parents divorced when i was a kid and left me in the care of my grandparents. when my grandparents passed, they left me with an apartment and enough money to live comfortably for as long as i need to. technically, i should be content with this life, but everything feels worthless when you're completely alone. i don't even have online friends. i just wanna make memories with people and have fun experiences but i can't because i'm stuck here aaaaa

>>81743762
thank you for the genuine and considerate answer
>Go outside and work out.
i've been working out every single day for the past 4 years, often for 2+ hours at a time. it feels great in the moment and i feel euphoric for a little bit once i'm done, but then the feelings of emptiness, loneliness and alienation come back every time. i'm starting to lose my drive to do it because it feels worthless anyway. as for going outside, i have nowhere to go. i live in a small Romanian village that i know like the back of my hand because i grew up here. i wish i could go to conventions, arcades or any place that is actually fun, but there's just nothing here. it's a literal wasteland filled with people over thrice my age.
>delete all of your social media
i've never used social media in my life other than discord. i used discord in hopes of making online friends that could fill the void and make me less lonely, but now i realize that's a waste too because they always abandoned me in the end as soon as they were actually able to do irl stuff with other people (something which i could never provide them with) and i haven't even opened it since
>start doing literally anything that you like or have liked before
i don't enjoy anything anymore. i could play any vidya or watch any anime and in the world or do anything else at all, but nothing would fill the void of what i actually want: fun real life experiences with people and happy memories i can look back on forever
>Then you think of SOME sort of way you could make money.
no one wants to hire me because i'm diagnosed autistic and had a suicide attempt when i was 17 which shows up in my records forever. and that's a social death sentences here apparently. all my psychs ghosted me too because god forbid they deal with actual mentail illness.
>You work towards that and reward yourself with something good after a hard day of work
am running out of words so i'll type more in a bit