>>81916352
>it might still be fixable though.
i can only hope so.
>that's just nature and self preservation
i dont like our nature. i dont like how we're programmed to feel, live, care. i dont want to be that way. i want to be different. i want to show everyone else that you dont have to be a slave to your own nature or your own circumstances. so i guess, in a way i want to be better than everyone else.
>aren't you manufacturing your own suffering anyways?
yes. what else am i to do? i won't achieve anything by just sitting in my own bubble deluding myself that its fine to be this way.
>who asked you for your kidneys? who called you selfish?
no one. just me.
>you don't need to change this in a day, or in a week, or in whatever deadline anyone could put on you
but i do anon, im running out of time and if things keep being the way the are im going to die without even knowing how being loved feels like. maybe not because no one loves me, but because im just unable to feel it
>if only it'd were that easy...
then, if thats too much, all i ask for is to stop wanting to die so much. i want to wake up in the morning and not think "i wish i was dead" but something else. or nothing at all
>>81916548
i did, but i think what i have is just a mixture of severe depression and adhd. perhaps i have some personality issues too but i honestly dont even care. giving labels to my mental issues wont change anything, and im not going to start taking drugs any time soon anyway.

>>81753551
>Ever feel like you were born in the wrong world?
yes. wrong country, wrong year, wrong world. i am not supposed to be here and let alone be alive. i am fundamentally broken in some way and i dont know how to fix myself

>>81479493
i know my words dont matter much, but i genuinely hope you can find some happiness or at least relief from all the pain eventually, anon. like someone else said, if you can, try to put your suffering into a canvas and see what happens.