I don't get the forms and gestures. I have hard time copying the proportions. I think problem must be my mental tunnel vision, which is very narrow. what to do?

I want to get 3d forms and gestures well. When i observe I am unable to get clear gesutres with 3d feels that are appealing.
What to do?

https://youtu.be/ehz-lF3UwqQ

Damn everytime I see kjg vids on my feed I feel like I made a wrong life choice.
I lived near where Kim jung gi teached when I was in high school and univ, and I chose to learn economy... I went to nice univ, but had to drop out later because of mental illness to become a neet.
I wanted to learn art but I thought I would suffer from being jobless and learning econ would be better.
But now I as i dropped out I am a neet. If I learned art even if I dropped out I would have developed a good skill (from learning from king kjg for 3 or 5 years) and would be doing what I liked.
Don't be like me and choose the right choice. maybe AI will replace us so meanwhile doing what you want might be a better thing.

How can I improve my drawings?

I want my 3d forms to be better, and gestrues to be better. But I don't know any methods for it.