>Ghoul Town

I'm a 19yo dude living in a studio apartment that my parents have graciously paid the rent for in addition to my college tuition, which is insanely high due to the fact that I have to pay out-of-state fees (moved two states away just to attend after getting a pretty nice couple of scholarships). They aren't the most financially stable people so me even needing their help makes me feel like an absolute leech.
Here's the issue: I can't find a job anywhere even though I have a decent amount of experience from being a major workaholic in high school. This past freshman year has been a non stop torture for me academically for reasons I can't even begin to rationalize, with my motivation to do my coursework extremely high yet the second i sit down to do any of it I can't even bring myself to touch my fucking keyboard. I will block out entire days to make myself do my coursework, but end up wasting every hour. I feel genuine physical pain bringing myself to do even the most menial of tasks. My GPA has fucking tanked over the last 10 months, I have lost all of my scholarships, I'm on academic probation and basically on my way to losing any hope of continuing my academic career.
I was never like this before I came here. I have gained 20 pounds, I have a non-existent social life, I feel my soul shatter every week when I have to call my dad for money. My mental has deteriorated beyond what I thought was ever possible for myself; There is literally not one moment of my life that hasn't been shrouded in an ominous dread of my future and intense stress. What the hell am I supposed to do to fix any of this? Or am I done for, and the only last route for me is to sell everything I have and live on the beach in my car sucking cock for gas money.

I went 15+ years without hitting a single critter while driving. Tonight, a raccoon suicided under my car, then while driving down the same road, I hit an owl (someone had already hit him, but I couldn't swerve due to oncoming traffic)

Can any /x/ schizos chime in with what the fuck is going on? Is it the full moon? That shit ruined probably the rest of my summer and I have absolutely horrible

>Leave parents at 19
>Ponder on what it would be like if I stayed there
>27 in cut throat money sucking world
>Most of my income is spent on jew bills
>Work is like a agonizing task to survive even
>Need to study (cons: diversity brainwashing, debt)
>Cheese the gov to give me free money for looking for work when I leave or switch
>Milk, Bread and Smokes is a financial risk
>Single after failed relations an lack of more stable income and interesting hobby and travel potential for females
>Heavily addicted/dying from nicotine and caffeine
>Start exercising, almost die coughing, write a book, not even noticed
>Starve and withdraw from smokes to save money and live healthier life
>Not a single f is given

>>509589676
Meds haven't been white in centuries
The same fate awaits us

>testolina mentre dormo dice perché 1 e non 2 volte a settimana?