>>512632656
A black Habsburg!

>Be me
>Little bicurious
>Try using a dildo for the first time the other night
>holyfuckthathurts.png
>Later I found out I was using the wrong lube or something
>Be the next day
>Go to take my morning duce
>Take a fat dump
>feelsgoodman
>look down
>Blood everywhere
oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck
>Start panicking and trying to figure out if I should call an ambulance
>Look down again
>There's toilet paper in there
>Mfw I haven't wiped yet
>Mfw my sister is on her period
>Mfw she has a terrible habit of not flushing

She seriously needs to stop doing that. Girl almost had me paying thousands of dollars to admit I'm a faggot and have a stranger anally probe me just to find out I'm completely fine.

>>22906963
I sure do hope Jessi Slaughter is doing alright, although, I just went to look at her wikipedia page. What the fuck was going on?

>>508155229
Don't listen to >>508155526, there's a secret sniper guarding every stop sign at every intersection. Don't stop, and you'll die!