Only 3 posts tonight.
>>41505804
>I really want permission to cry
First of all, even if I am late to the party, permission granted.
>Keep calling suicide hotlines, telling them all the shit that happened to me then crying
I understand, you have been through a lot I wager. Crying should never drive people away. It is not your fault if it did.
>I used not to be able to cry for 14 years
That is unfortunately not uncommon, I am glad you made progress there, strange as it sounds.
>But what's even the point.
Processing, moving on, catharsis. It is an important biological function. The more you let yourself feel and process the less you will dissociate.
It takes time,
>I feel like the few connections I have could just collapse in any moment.
What makes you feel this way?
I read your response to anon too and wanna say that it's absolutely disgusting some shitter disturbed you. And I agree, I can't emphasize enough how great you are doing, in spite of everything. That is laudable! It's something to be proud of. It's great you have a therapist on hand as well! Tell me, do you have people you are out to?
You also mentioned manmoding, what are the circumstances surrounding your transition?
>>41507016
Awesome, Anon! I'm happy for you. I'm glad you keep us posted, yk?
>>41507814
Rural area with no student city nearby? Or flatout fucked country?
>>41518915
I'm doing alright, and I hope the video is helpful! The weekend helps.
>>41520162
Something you might wanna talk about, Anon?
4chan Search
4 results for "388bc72810dbdb35dd4da3e09cc2ecc3"
>>40652145
spiraly thoughts?
>>40652519
>oh I did it now what
One useful thought might be "USE IT OR LOSE IT".. Though I find your approach to motivation much more compelling, really!
>I could just own how fucking weird I am more openly.
It definitely is a lifesaver for me, and it is a liberty I would love everyone to have.
>>40655582
>i can levitate birds but nobody cares...
That sounds so familiar but I can't put my finger on it.. 'sup, Anon?
>>40655732
One thing that I don't mention often ITT is that I am very physical. I would hug each and every one of you without hesitation.
>>40658564
I'm super happy for you, Junko! As so often I would start with making a list and get an overview if you dunno where to start. I will gladly hold your hand best I can.
spiraly thoughts?
>>40652519
>oh I did it now what
One useful thought might be "USE IT OR LOSE IT".. Though I find your approach to motivation much more compelling, really!
>I could just own how fucking weird I am more openly.
It definitely is a lifesaver for me, and it is a liberty I would love everyone to have.
>>40655582
>i can levitate birds but nobody cares...
That sounds so familiar but I can't put my finger on it.. 'sup, Anon?
>>40655732
One thing that I don't mention often ITT is that I am very physical. I would hug each and every one of you without hesitation.
>>40658564
I'm super happy for you, Junko! As so often I would start with making a list and get an overview if you dunno where to start. I will gladly hold your hand best I can.
>>40410321
>The laws feel specially constructed to avoid giving me in particular any benefits.
I mean you don't need me to tell you that's alarming, but Christ. Yours is one of those cases where we are basically talking about the core issue being an urgent need to escape a shitty environment with limited resources at your disposal.
>Unfortunately my experience is too consistent to believe that.
I fully understand, it is one of those things that must be experienced to be believed. It genuinely sucks.
>There isn't anywhere I can go that I haven't tried.
>Plus I'm almost certain I lost the place I was talking about completely now.
Let's broaden the scope a little. What's your letter, by the way? Are there any lgbt orgs in your country you might be able to contact? There are also some slightly more sensitive questions I may need to ask to not waste your time. I would fully understand if you are not comfortable sharing specifics about your circumstances here (like what kind of disability you have and what general part of the world you are from), in which case I would have to be more generic. You are in a really, really tough situation, and you clearly want to get out of it. I know there is not ultra much I can do on my own but encourage and suggest.. but I hope feeling heard and engaged with at the very least helps a tiny bit.
>>40410999
I look forward to hearing about it but your rest comes first!
>>40412716
In spite of how grating and exhausting things are, I want to tell you you are fighting the rep demons admirably.
>Gl! I am shamelessly avoiding that personally.
Make one asap if you can help it. Got cavities, two small ones. Gonna be taken care of soon but I am honestly shocked the problem is not much, much worse.
>not happy enough with myself to engage with it irl
Babytrans issues, I absolutely get it. Well, as well as I can without experiencing it myself. I hope if nothing else you feel understood in this little space we share.
>The laws feel specially constructed to avoid giving me in particular any benefits.
I mean you don't need me to tell you that's alarming, but Christ. Yours is one of those cases where we are basically talking about the core issue being an urgent need to escape a shitty environment with limited resources at your disposal.
>Unfortunately my experience is too consistent to believe that.
I fully understand, it is one of those things that must be experienced to be believed. It genuinely sucks.
>There isn't anywhere I can go that I haven't tried.
>Plus I'm almost certain I lost the place I was talking about completely now.
Let's broaden the scope a little. What's your letter, by the way? Are there any lgbt orgs in your country you might be able to contact? There are also some slightly more sensitive questions I may need to ask to not waste your time. I would fully understand if you are not comfortable sharing specifics about your circumstances here (like what kind of disability you have and what general part of the world you are from), in which case I would have to be more generic. You are in a really, really tough situation, and you clearly want to get out of it. I know there is not ultra much I can do on my own but encourage and suggest.. but I hope feeling heard and engaged with at the very least helps a tiny bit.
>>40410999
I look forward to hearing about it but your rest comes first!
>>40412716
In spite of how grating and exhausting things are, I want to tell you you are fighting the rep demons admirably.
>Gl! I am shamelessly avoiding that personally.
Make one asap if you can help it. Got cavities, two small ones. Gonna be taken care of soon but I am honestly shocked the problem is not much, much worse.
>not happy enough with myself to engage with it irl
Babytrans issues, I absolutely get it. Well, as well as I can without experiencing it myself. I hope if nothing else you feel understood in this little space we share.
>>40092962
>>40093041
>>40099973
Super proud of you for mustering up the courage, Anon. I want you to know that you are far from alone with these issues, we frequently have peeps like you, and I am sure they feel less alone seeing other people go through the same issues. Shinji anon already has made a good point. You got to understand: something like this is NEVER laziness. Something is wrong. Get yourself checked asap if you can at all help it, we have some resources for ADHD as well (see the howtoadhd channel for example). I wish you ALL the best, and I hope to see you around!
If you are presently insured in Canada, try to get your diagnosis there. Sadly I can't help you with the deets but counseling should at the very least be available for you! I think >>40094671 makes a great point, too. You are not alone in all this as you can see. We're wishing you all the best!
>>40105261
Almost an entire year, Anon! That's a major milestone!
>self hate thoughts are getting stronger and stronger.
It sounds like you are struggling with dysphoria because of boymode, really.
>I wish this life wasn't so cruel to me sorry to be a whiny bitch
You aren't whiny AT ALL. Promise. I am very proud of you, you are doing great, I wanted you to write your honest feelings from day 1 and have always encouraged you to, haven't I? We should talk about ways for you to be out in ways that matter to you. It will help a great deal I think. What is your environment like, out to anyone?
>>40093041
>>40099973
Super proud of you for mustering up the courage, Anon. I want you to know that you are far from alone with these issues, we frequently have peeps like you, and I am sure they feel less alone seeing other people go through the same issues. Shinji anon already has made a good point. You got to understand: something like this is NEVER laziness. Something is wrong. Get yourself checked asap if you can at all help it, we have some resources for ADHD as well (see the howtoadhd channel for example). I wish you ALL the best, and I hope to see you around!
If you are presently insured in Canada, try to get your diagnosis there. Sadly I can't help you with the deets but counseling should at the very least be available for you! I think >>40094671 makes a great point, too. You are not alone in all this as you can see. We're wishing you all the best!
>>40105261
Almost an entire year, Anon! That's a major milestone!
>self hate thoughts are getting stronger and stronger.
It sounds like you are struggling with dysphoria because of boymode, really.
>I wish this life wasn't so cruel to me sorry to be a whiny bitch
You aren't whiny AT ALL. Promise. I am very proud of you, you are doing great, I wanted you to write your honest feelings from day 1 and have always encouraged you to, haven't I? We should talk about ways for you to be out in ways that matter to you. It will help a great deal I think. What is your environment like, out to anyone?