I am trying so hard to kick the porn habit. but the weekend rolls around and I feel sort of vindicated in using it. Its weird. Like "Oh, I survived another hard week at work, I deserve to use porn now." I hate this addiction so much and I feel disgusted every time I use porn. I am trying to heal myself because I want to be able to have a normal sex life and normal sexual attraction and normal romantic life. I can't do any of that currently. I guess what I struggle with most is that I don't really know what is normal. Like what is a normal sexual appetite for a 29 year old male? I also don't want to stop masturbating but want to only cut the porn. The nofap stuff says to cut porn and masturbating but stopping masturbation seems retarded. Especially if you don't have another outlet. What do you guys think? I also reach some weird bargaining point before I break down. Like right now, I want to watch porn so badly but know that I shouldn't.

When I get up to go to work in the morning, its so fucking difficult for me. I can wake up and get myself to work but as soon as I sit at my desk, my body pretty much shuts down. I zone out at my desk and when I stand up I feel almost drunk. I thought maybe it had something to do with me being bored at work but I definitely have work to do etc. Its not until about 3 hours after I get to work that I feel better. Even then the groggy feeling sort of creeps back in and I have to fend it off. My eyes get heavy and roll around in my head. I can still hear and such but I feel like I am dreaming while awake at my desk somehow. I will sort of oscillate between that state and awake. What I have noticed is that loud sounds or abrupt things will jolt me awake and alert me and I will feel fine for awhile. Like if a door slams, it will snap me out of that haze for a good while.

What can I do to help myself? I hate this feeling so much. I hate it. I just want to wake up refreshed in the morning. I actually can't remember the last time I woke up and actually felt good.

>>714908242
I wish the aiming wasn't so aids. Thats what really gets me. I am also really bugged out that certain guns are basically "meme" tier OR have a very very specific niche that they are used in. Like both LMG's(my favorite kind of gun in shooters) are both meme tier basically.