>finally caught a big cockroach in my room with a paper tissue
>decided to kill it via slowly pressing down with my finger through the tissue
>can feel the roach's exoskeleton slowly gets crushed as it desperately tries to escape
>eventually its abdomen just kinda bursted with a small pop sound and the poor thing is just thrashing around like some type of guy with its guts out while gushing weird intestine juices all over the tissue paper
>just kept on squishing until the thing is actually dead and its limbs are just moving out of the leftover neuron signals
>kinda get a boner as i flushed the thing into the toilet, not because of the actual act of violence but the thoughts of me being in control of something's life and able to just take it away in an instant
.......am I mentally ill or just freaky? Fyi I am repulsed by sicko shit like Gore or Fluffy/Yukkuri abuse, and I actually love small animals(not bugs) and wish the best of luck for them.
