Jerry! You gotta try this offset guitars! They’re the future, Jerry!
Look at this thing curves, angles, the body’s all… shifted!
It doesn’t even sit right when you play it, you gotta lean into it like a motorcycle!
The Strat? Too square. The Les Paul? Too heavy.
But the offset ohh, it’s dangerous! You strap this on and suddenly you’re in a surf band, a shoegaze band, an avant-garde noise collective!
And the switches, Jerry, the switches!
Nobody even knows what they do!
You flip one and suddenly you’ve got tone from Mars!
Flip another now it’s like you’re underwater!
It’s not a guitar, Jerry it’s a science experiment!