I was diagnosed with BPD when I was a teenager. First response from everyone around me was to take antipsychotics and antidepressants which I did not like because it made it feel like my brain was in a box and detached from my body.
(The antipsychotics weren't related to the BPD even though I was told to take the same time. I was prescribed them because I told the doctors that I was hearing voices. I found out later in life that it was just my internal monologue But no one around me apparently had that because no one understood what the fuck it was.)

Anyway, Instead of medicines I switched my focus onto spiritual research, meditations, various religions, and so on to try and get a handle on my condition and figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. I've definitely enjoyed what I've learned, and I've realized a lot about myself in turn.
I can definitely agree with the self-destructive tendencies, hyper fixations leading to abandonment, and saying /doing things I wouldn't normally do. Whenever it comes on it feels like.... I guess possession? I'm still in my body but it doesn't feel like me doing it and when I consider my actions after the fact it feels as though I a partition it out to place blame on another version of me as if I'm sharing the controls of this body.
I have tried to be better, I've made a point to make amends with everyone. I've hurt, and I've distanced myself from family and friends to ensure that I don't hurt my loved ones anymore. It's a lonely life, but I'd like to think I'm doing what I'm doing for the greater good. One benefit for sure is that in my solitude I get to spend more time researching magicks and higher levels of consciousness. I like to believe that the answer on how to "fix" myself is on a higher plane of existence than this material realm.

Anyway, love you /x/ been posting here for years and somehow to explaining my situation to all the autists here feels alright

>>41340656
you have to start with dreams and understanding that what you are seeing with a dream you are seeing with your third eye, your minds eye. RV is the same eye. You should master dreams first, understand that they are out of body experiences and have different rules. Things can happen that do not make sense there. 2+2 does not equal 4 there. Touch the walls and feel them. Understand that it is an experience like life.

Then move on to RV.

5070 has 9070XT performance for cheaper on equal image quality when the 5070 is running DLSS4 Transformer Model 'Performance' preset, and the 9070XT is running FSR3 'Quality' preset.

I was right about literally everything, by the way:
https://warosu.org/vt/thread/85824865#p85837930
The full picture may not have been clear back then but I was spot on in my nooticing.

>>41264302
Fake & Gay
Battle for Los Angelos craft was getting fired upon from all angles and still did not go down. So, what is capable of taking this craft down?

Say whatever you say about SoCs they're still my favorite and yes I'm still waiting for Caesar's story quest

>>102675542
I've said it before and I'll say it again. /vt/ is the primordial source of all collective sentiment that emerges out of the communal zeitgeist of vtubing. It is the id, the axiomatic root and the celestial pillar by which all of creation rests upon. It is not that the corpos and chuubas attempt to psy-op the posters here. We are the psy-op that they unknowingly expose themselves to. By our awakened third eye, we turn the machinery of heaven.

>>102604189
This guy keeps implying that you should stand by her even if you're hurt by her announcement.
How fucking pathetic do you have to be to publicly be distraught over her getting married and then continue to slink around her like a beaten, neutered dog?
Be a fucking man and drop the bitch and move on with your life to a vtuber who is single, or just fucking drop vtubing entirely.
If you're going to be one of those buckbroken faggots who suddenly changes their entire worldview to miraculously be okay and support with it whilst simultaneously being a jealous loser you're everything wrong with the vtuber community.
I hope this guy kills himself, at least that way he can be with his wife, and everybody who takes his advice should kill themselves too.
Shes either yours or nobodies

Chances the free 5* Firedan is completely worthless outside of Phainon teams?

>>529824691
>that first team

>>528569783
all me btw