Ever since me and my ex girlfriend of 3+ years broke up, my life has gone entirely downhill. I’m extremely depressed and unmotivated, to the point where I have basically given up on life entirely. I feel so dejected, unmotivated and sad that I legitimately do not care about the future I was building anymore. I am (was) in school for fire fighting, and I really wanted creative writing in hopes to become a writer one day. All of this basically went out the door after I lost her. I’ve taken up drinking and smoking weed/cigs/vapes again, partially due to cope, partially due to addiction, and partially due to the hopes that I’ll just get cancer and die. I want to state outright that her leaving me isn’t the only reason why I’ve given up, but it’s more of “the straw that broke the camels back”.

The worst part is, she’s doing absolutely great. She’s following her dreams of being a theatre actress, she has tons of new friends, a new boyfriend, and is genuinely doing so much better than me in life. Meanwhile I’m withering away with no desire or motivation to do anything with my life now that she’s gone. It hurts even more cause when we dated, she was extremely lazy and did nothing but smoke weed all day and do nothing with her life. I tired repeatedly to encourage her to get her life together, which eventually led to us breaking up. Now that we broke up, she’s doing great for herself. It hurts me so much that she finally improved her life after we broke up. I’ve tried to replace her; and all my dates have failed. The best I got was a situationship that lasted a month before she ghosted me and started dating another guy. I feel so miserable, alone and unmotivated. I just want my old life back.

Lately I’ve been struggling with the feeling that I’m not man enough to go anywhere in life. I’m a much more introverted person compared to its other people my age, and lately it’s been making me feel like I’m not good enough. I have horrible luck with women, I have no friends, and I’m pretty sure I’m unironically autistic. All of the things listed has crushed my self esteem a lot.

I was in school to get my EMT certification so I can pursue fire fighting as a career path, but part of me feels like I’m not “man” enough or good enough to pursue that kind of career. Fire fighters are known to be “Chads” and I feel like I don’t have the personality to properly be one. I want to help people and make my life mean something, but at the same time I feel like all my flaws and imperfections are holding me back from doing anything good with my life. I’ve only had 2 relationships my entire life, and one of them ended with her cheating on me. Ever since then my life has just gone to shit horribly, and killed my self esteem even more.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like people view me as a pussy no matter where I go. I had to quit my restaurant job because my managers hated me and cut my hours drastically, and instead of confronting them I just stopped showing up. It feels like I’m a super easy person to disrespect and I don’t know what I do wrong, if it’s my voice, how I look, etc.

I’ve just been losing alot of motivation to do anything with my life at this point. I feel like people don’t respect/like me. I’m probably never going to get another girlfriend again, and I’ll more than likely just end up dying alone with no family. Even when I try to act more “manly” and assertive, it comes off more as a pathetic little kid trying to puff himself up to look bigger and scarier then he really is.

Does anyone have any advice?

I’ve been feeling like I’m not “man” enough lately. I’m more of a soft spoken and timid kind of guy, and it makes me feel like a bit of a pussy. I’ve had a couple girlfriends, but for the most part I’m pretty unsuccessful with women, and I think it’s due to my shyness/being more introverted than most men my age.

These feelings have been causing me alot of self doubt lately. I’m in school for my EMT license, with plans to finish paramedic school and become a fire fighter in the future. However, I’ve been feeling like I’m not “man enough” and too much of a pussy to have a “manly” job like that, mainly due to my lack of success with girls, as well as my timid nature. I’m having serious self doubts if I’m meant for this career path. I want to help people and do good during my time on earth, but I constantly feel like I’m not good enough, and I’m afraid if I do end up doing fire fighting, I’ll be fired or ridiculed by my partners for being too soft and too much of a pussy.

I’m not sure what to do anymore. I’ve been feeling really depressed because I just don’t like myself very much, for the reasons I’ve listed (shy, introverted, lack of success with women, etc). I just want to give up, but my family is really proud of me for choosing this career path, and I don’t want to let them down.

Does anyone have any advice for my situation?

Title. My life has gone completely to shit in the past few years. I developed severe OCD, my bipolar disorder got worse, my only girlfriend I ever had cheated on me and left me, I’ve had zero luck with any other girl, I have no friends, the ONE date I finally got went nowhere and she lost all interest in me after seeing me in person (despite being super into me over text), etc.

I’m so exhausted from the constant loneliness, intrusive thoughts, mood swings, compulsive rituals, etc and I just want it all to end. I’m not trying to trauma dump but I have nobody to talk to. I take like 5 antidepressant/anti psychotic pills every day and it dosent really help.

I’ve completely given up on working towards my future. I started smoking and drinking again, I’m about to quit my job by stop showing up completely, and I’m debating just dropping out of school. I bought a bottle of sodium nitrite that supposedly makes your death relatively quick and painless besides throwing up, but I’m deathly afraid, but I know it’s my only option.

What do I do? How do I grow the balls to just finish it?

How do I cope with the fact that I’ll never have a loving, loyal girlfriend

Title. I’ve been talking to a girl for about a month, and she was obviously interested in me. We planned many dates out, talked on call, sent Instagram reels to each other, etc.

We went on our first date on Monday, and it went well. She broke the touch barrier with me, and even hinted that we should go to the beach together in the future. However, at the end of the night I gave her a hug after walking her to her car, and I tried to hold her hand but she pulled away. She texted me when she got home saying she got home safe, and we talked a little more the next few days. However after I suggested another date, she told me she would rather be friends.

I’m genuinely confused, as she did try to touch my hand earlier in the date, and she broke the touch barrier by grabbing my arm a few times, but she seemed to lose interest by the end of the date.

I’m not sure where I went wrong, but is there any way of saving this? I genuinely really liked this girl a lot, and I think I messed up by not looking my best during the date (mainly I had a mustache, but I decided to shave it after since I figured that may have been a reason she didn’t seem interested in me anymore)

I’m thinking of giving her a week and maybe reaching out to her again and explaining I was a bit distracted during our date and may have not given off a good first impression, and asking if she would like to try again. Thoughts? I would do anything to get another chance with her again.