Thread 33544304

Ever since me and my ex girlfriend of 3+ years broke up, my life has gone entirely downhill. I’m extremely depressed and unmotivated, to the point where I have basically given up on life entirely. I feel so dejected, unmotivated and sad that I legitimately do not care about the future I was building anymore. I am (was) in school for fire fighting, and I really wanted creative writing in hopes to become a writer one day. All of this basically went out the door after I lost her. I’ve taken up drinking and smoking weed/cigs/vapes again, partially due to cope, partially due to addiction, and partially due to the hopes that I’ll just get cancer and die. I want to state outright that her leaving me isn’t the only reason why I’ve given up, but it’s more of “the straw that broke the camels back”.

The worst part is, she’s doing absolutely great. She’s following her dreams of being a theatre actress, she has tons of new friends, a new boyfriend, and is genuinely doing so much better than me in life. Meanwhile I’m withering away with no desire or motivation to do anything with my life now that she’s gone. It hurts even more cause when we dated, she was extremely lazy and did nothing but smoke weed all day and do nothing with her life. I tired repeatedly to encourage her to get her life together, which eventually led to us breaking up. Now that we broke up, she’s doing great for herself. It hurts me so much that she finally improved her life after we broke up. I’ve tried to replace her; and all my dates have failed. The best I got was a situationship that lasted a month before she ghosted me and started dating another guy. I feel so miserable, alone and unmotivated. I just want my old life back.

Bump I really need advice

>She has ...
And how do you know that? Stop fucking following her. Human brains are made to forget things over time. Unless memories appear again, in which case the brain stores them in archive mode even longer.

>>33544304 (OP)
How long ago did you break up? What did you do after you broke up? Did you have to move out? Are you still in contact? Why/how do you know so much about what she's up to? Do you have family/friends or was she your entire support network?

>>33544567
We broke up a year ago. No we don’t talk. I just stalk her Instagram sometimes and she posts hella pics and videos of her acting in theatre and hanging out with her new boyfriend and friends. She was my entire support network

>>33544594
I’ve been trying dating apps to replace her and I’ve just been failing miserable. Most I got was a short situationship

>>33544594
Okay, so as I suspected, you're literally doing the worst thing you could possibly do. It's no surprise you feel so shitty when you're stalking her instagram.

She did the correct thing and moved on. With a year of hindsight, it should be obvious to you now what's going on and why she's doing so much better than you are. She improved her life while you regressed. She took up better habits, found a bf who was a positive influence, most likely has friends and a support network. Meanwhile you isolated yourself, took up bad habits, and now stalk her social media.

>She was my entire support network
This is your biggest problem of all. I completely understand what you're going through because I went through it too. But it is a lesson to be learned. You cannot isolate yourself from others. It makes humans crazy. We are supposed to have a tribe. You made your ex your tribe and now she's gone. Don't you see how foolish this is?

Stop looking at her social media now. Just fucking stop. Delete instagram. You're addicted to making yourself feel like shit. Every time you look there, you're going to feel like a pile of garbage. It might be different if you still had a chance at getting back together, but you don't, at least right now. And that's because you aren't relationship material. I'm not trying to be mean to you, I'm trying to make you face reality so you can get better. No one should date a person who's acting like you are. That doesn't mean you're inherently trash, what it does mean is that you're mired in bad habits at the moment and need to change drastically.

Do you not have family/old friends you can reach back out to and try to rebuild a relationship with? You're really going to need people who positively encourage you. You should also go to a professional (therapist, psychologist, etc.) they can really help you out. You need a wide network. Learn this lesson now.

>>33544598
Even if you date, which it's questionable if you should, you should mostly be looking for connection and friendship, and you should say that, and take it slow. Your brain is still bonded to your ex, and that's mostly your fault because of your damaging instagram stalking activities that are telling your monkey brain she's still an important part of your life since you're seeing her face every single day. So it'll take some time to "replace" her. Don't rush it, take it slow, don't expect a deep passionate connection.

Finally, going back to the instagram thing, what you need to realize is that people upload the highlights of their lives there. It doesn't necessarily reflect reality. I personally am friends with one couple, the gf uploads constantly and if you just looked at their insta, you'd think they had the perfect lives. In reality, her bf is pretty emotionally abusive and has cheated on her multiple times, and they've broken up multiple times over that and other issues, she's cheated back, they fight a lot, etc. She's my gf's friend and she's come over crying in the middle of the night because of shit he's done. Do you think she uploads any of that to instagram? Nope, only when they went out to eat or whatever the fuck. So I hope you understand what I'm getting at. Now stop fucking torturing yourself.

>>33544304 (OP)
This happens to people sometimes.

I'm sorry OP. Don't blame yourself, even if your ex is doing well, everyone has times in their life where stuff like this happens.

Can you think of one small, simple thing that's bugging you a lot that you can fix? Even if it's something dumb like "fuck this pile of papers I'm throwing it out" or "I'm gonna clean the toilet."

It's okay to mute her on socials or not hang out with her for a while if it's making you feel weird.

Are you still in school but like, not doing well or what? Can you talk to the people there and get back in the program?

(also want to die, but this is my advice bc being a firefighter sounds based.)

>>33544304 (OP)
>everything men do is for pussy
There are so many people on the on self improvement train the past two decades it's unreal, and I'm not talking about gym because many of them don't even hit the gym but instead do other activities, I'm talking about making money, being social, doing activities, hobbies, just keeping busy in general and making their life as interesting as possible to attract pussy. They are doing all that for pussy, constantly chasing a better looking pussy, younger, fresher, etc. until eventually they find one they are satisfied with so they can fertilize it but even then many of them continue to chase pussy on the side. Some of these boomers are 70+ and still chase pussy, that's right many divorced boomers have girlfriends, just look at that tremendous Eastwood faggot who found a new pussy at 70 or 80 and married for the 6th time. Not to mention famous chads like Julio Iglesias who had thousands of pussies throughout his life.
All that self-improvement, customs, social mores, hobbies, cultural events and other activities people do is to attract pussy so they can breed the next generation of goyim cattle and feel desired, loved and appreciated by their pussy and progeny.

>>33544304 (OP)
>>33544594
going through the exact same thing, gf of 5 years, moved countries for her, still in the same country, broke up a year ago because she cheated on me, I decided to stop being a pussy and started going out to meetups, and the difference between me and you is that I don't stalk her in any social media what so ever.

Now I do dancing, joined a choir and we're starting next week, and I'm also going to join an acting group.

This is what I realized in my time being a piece of shit turd that doesn't do anything and just is sad about being alone:

My life = good life
If my life good = people want part in good life
good people come into my life =/= let go of everything that makes my life good (aka friends, hobbies, outside support network)

continue make good life, plus good people (gf) who is now part of my life, now I have good life. good life.

>>33544304 (OP)
You should have stopped following her and blocked her. Never compete with women, they don't need to work hard to get anything in life, they have inherent value.

>>33544598
I'm this guy >>33545982

It's also quite funny to me how I had the exact saame experience, I went into a 2.5 month long situation ship with an extremely beautiful girl who I travelled twice to see in Poland, her body was amazing and being with her physically was great, but she was shlicking with dudes online the entire time we were "together", so I let her go and realized I was exploited and lied to in my time of need and vulnerability.

I deleted all dating apps because 10 months on 6 different apps didn't get me a single match
now I've sworn off these and I'm doing dancing and singing, and about to do acting.
These are female-majority activities, they are expressive and social and require human interaction. So.... This is my life, this is what I will do. I won't be scared anymore.
I advise the same to you because we're much the same, my entire support network was my ex, when she left she even took the shared pet who died a week later. And I can't go to Christmas/Easter with her family anymore or see them as often. So yeah man. Sucks. Same situation, but I did something about it and so can you

>>33544304 (OP)
I won't read a wall-of-text that gives all indications (what with the sad pepe and all) of being one long laundry list of woes. Get to the point next time.

>>33544304 (OP)
You have 2 options
>make your life miserable
or
>work to make it better

Right now it seems like you're trying your hardest to make your life as miserable as possible. Stop looking at her socials, stop thinking about her, stop smoking, stop distracting yourself with "situationships," stop all of the shit that you know is bad for you. Do it one at a time if you have to but start by quitting the stalking.

Bump

>>33544304 (OP)
Another fakecel complaining about being able to pull kys

>>33544304 (OP)
When you hit rock bottom you only have two options: stay there or claw your way up. Not only have you stayed there, but you've also made it your new permanent home.
I underwent the same thing. She was my reason and my life. What you can do is live for yourself, hang out with the boys, do something about your nicotine addiction/alcoholism, read up the chad life-affirming philosophers like Nietzsche, make fun of life-denying antinatalist fags like >>33545907, push the rock up the hill, etc etc. What you have to realise is that the world stretches before you, filled with adventure and ripe for conquering.
>Suppose that we said yes to a single moment, then we have not only said yes to ourselves, but to the whole of existence. For nothing stands alone, either in ourselves or in things; and if our soul did but once vibrate and resound with a chord of happiness, then all of eternity was necessary to bring forth this one occurrence—and in this single moment when we said yes, all of eternity was embraced, redeemed, justified and affirmed.

>>33545907
...and?

What do you live for, anon? Your unwarranted smug sense of superiority while jacking off in your basement? Total retardation. Nothing wrong with chasing women, it's great fun. You're just assmad from sour grapes. Pretty much no one regrets having sex with a lot of beautiful women, it's one of the best things life has to offer.

>>33549982
This guy >>33545907
Is a cuck
I saw him posting basically the same thing in another thread. He's one of those holier than thou's who thinks he's "better" than "chasing sex" as if that's not the reason he was put on the planet for and it's a built in happiness mechanism to chase and eventually receive love

>>33544304 (OP)
>I want my old life back
Basically the gist of your plight. Clock only moves forward anon. My advice to you, let that shit go. We all have the same 24 hours. Make the most of yours. If you wanna be a firefighter still than work towards it, but if you wanna get high & numb then spark an owl & down a corona. Life is too short to be frustrated over what isn't. Try and find a reason to smile every day.

Bump

>>33544304 (OP)
I will get flamed into oblivion for posting this but reddit.com/r/breakups and /r/depression and /r/relationships

For your sanity, go read stuff on those 3 boards. The breakups is probably where you should start. You don't have to write, just read. Asking on here is not going to get you the responses you want bro. I just went through a hell of a breakup and it took me months to get over my ex. You have to chemically decouple the dopamine (and other neurochemicals). You're literally going through withdrawals. Its a real thing. You're chemically love bombed out right now and depression has set in. Dopamine and addiction is a real thing. I'm not saying your addicted to your ex, but in a way, love is addiction and dopamine is the happy feel good chemical you get when you're in love and happy with someone. Now they're gone and you don't get your fix...you're fucking miserable. It all starts chemically and works in the brain. Your brain is hurting, not your heart. You can fix this with time and distraction.

>>33549896
bless you, anon!
that's the life affirming spirit this board needs.

>>33544304 (OP)
Breh so the following for yourself
>NoFap (aim for one year)
>NoPorn
>bible study
>hobbies
>school
>work
>cardio
>weights
>good food

>>33545907
Based. Nothing more pathetic than men who simp for literal sluts. You’re handing out bitter pills bruddah

>>33544304 (OP)
good news anon, after a decade or two you will be fine again

>>33550008
>>33549982
>chained to their programming
>chained to their base desires
Nothing you say will ever matter and you can't expect anybody to take you seriously when everything you do is for pussy.

Essentially these are agents of the matrix, willingly or unwillingly, consciously or unconsciously.

>>33559127
okay incel

>>33544304 (OP)
I don't understand what you're so confused about. You made bad choices post-breakup and she made good choices. It's nothing more complicated than that.

Stop making bad choices, dumbass.

>>33544304 (OP)
https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/31240267/#31240470

Hello this is a link to a discord server whose members ruthlessly insulted me and made fun of my adhd please join it and spam around.
Thank you.
https://discord.gg/uwnpJaCb

>>33544304 (OP)
Grow up you fucking pussy. Jesus christ what's wrong with some people. Your cunt of a gf abandoned you, get over it. Find a new one, or don't, women are not that important anyway.

It takes time to get over a breakup especially if it was a shock and you're the one getting dumped. If its recent, then you're gonna feel pretty miserable for a while, months, maybe even a year or so, and thats normal. I often think men are harder hit by a breakup because in the vast majority of cases their gf is their only source of intimacy.

Nevertheless, like any form of grief you tend to learn to live with it and eventually it hurts less over time. One day you'll look back on this and it won't bother you anymore. Grow a thicker skin and develop your game.

In the mean time you need to snap out of this train of thought and try to move on. Take up a new hobby, make new friends. Gym and excercise help too. If your mood still remains persistently low and its continuing to stop you living normally you could consider going to the Doctor and asking if some anti-depressants might help you get over this slump.

I hate to say this but good women don't come along very often and you're much better off focusing on being a better version of yourself. Easier said than done when you are young and have loads of testosterone flowing through you but it gets easier bud particuarly when you learn to master the art of not giving a fuck.

Yeah, sadly that picture pretty much sums it up.

>>33560059
>t. never been in love