Marner to Vegas

allergy medicine helps you fall asleep

>>149529905 (OP)

>>149529905 (OP)
bud1
mitch1

>>149529905 (OP)
you can play craps in vegas

>laffs

bud + 1 = trb

>>149529924
not mitch1 you fucking tard. Mitch Marner to Vegas

>>149529916
weed chocolate is a good, more natural solution

>>149529935
both happened

remember this?

>>149529948
I can't do drugs because I have a job that matters

the fortress is bubblin tonight

>>149529967
Thank You For Your Service

I bought this huge plastic bottle of shitty olive oil because it was on sale, expecting similar moves from my GM tomorrow

>>149529964
this caused some mighty bubblin' for trb

>>149529964
I do
:)

>>149529992
shit's doubled in price since 2020

>>149529905 (OP)
marner will put up 90-100 point regular seasons, then disappear in the second round of the playoffs. what were the knights thinking?

Imagine paying any of your D a cent over 7M

imagine not winning a cup in over 50 years

>>149529964
1993

oh my he's havin another melty

>>149529964
WTF is 34 doing????

>>149530009
maybe mcdavid will carry him

>58 years

Will Farrel is this many years old
>also Nicole Kidman and Vin Diesel

>>149530071
how were they doing at 46

kidman's a really funny name if you think about it

bubbles are risin'

>>149530081
it's an English name that means "young deer"

Tarasenko will thrive in Minnesota. Way better situation than the dead wings

>>149530100
Has there ever been a bogged active nhl player?

Thoughts? Had no idea it was half kush. I love Kush

how will the overdrive boys take the news

>>149530149
Bro like 5 huge signings happened during the show today it was crazy

Get a job, Hippy!

>>149530169
i forgot it wasn't a real holiday today and missed it

I don't care if teams benefit from lower taxes
I don't care if teams abuse LTIR

>>149530219
They upload the audio version dont they

>>149530121
they said that about his last 8 different team

>>149530030
>imagine not winning a cup in over 50 years
I don't have to I'm not Canadian

I download podcasts and skim the AI-generated transcripts for key phrases

>>149529905 (OP)
Why did my kitties sign Marchand until he is 44 years old

Ever notice how the drummer from Nirvana looks just like the singer from the Foo Fighters? Blows my mind. But not more than the fact that people still think the NHL isn't run by the vegas casino cabal.

I installed a bidet and now when I'm taking my daily Marner I angle my asshole so that the intense jet of water shoots right into my asshole, filling my colon with water, which I then violently shit/fart out of my ass like a small enema, so I'm confident when going out into the world that my ass is ENTIRELY clean of any Marner residue, inside and out.

Fucking disgusting to think people just use dry paper and call it a day.

what do you think it'd be like to watch a hockey game with shannon?

>>149530269
why not

>>149530256
you can rewatch the whole 3 hours on youtube

>>149530270
Bro I have that same feeling when I see Velvet Revolver's guitarist and the one from Guns n Roses. You would think they're related!

>>149530284
florida, florida, colorado, nevada, florida, florida
gary is evil

the nhl is run by a caballero named Gary

>>149530169
>government warning that prolonged cannabis consumption literally fucks up your brain and makes you retarded
I've smoked pretty much every single day for the last 18 years.

>>149530272
I'd like to watch a game with Shannon, Gary, Jen, Larry, Bud, TRB, and Randy. Everybody liquored, everybody cheeched.

marchand will be a panther until he is 43....or until gary forces an expansion team to trade for his LTIR'd contract to help them hit the (((cap floor)))

>>149530307
>1993

>>149529905 (OP)
It's real.

>>149530318
Yes. That is what they are getting at.

>>149530318
So have I. I've read about it. It's just some people claim that brains arent fully developed until 25 years old so you shouldnt do "drugs" until that age. But it's debatable And also weed can trigger psychosis or shcizophrenia in some people but they tend to have the underlying genetics for it anyways.

>>149529928
underrated

>>149530332
if they trade his contract to another team,does the player have to pay the state taxes of the new contract holder? That could suck.

Fuck me what a terrible thread

>>149530307
Just give it up already anon. Why would anyone want to play for a team that never wins and where the media makes shit up to stir locker room drama?

>>149530271
Marner implies dry hair.

>>149530269
>he thinks he'll play all 6 years
he's gonna die from alcohol poisoning after their 4th stanley cup win

>>149530318
Thanks for confirming what we already know

>>149530368
They pay their 41 of their home arena's state and then wherever the other 41 games are, so yes. I know this because I have a Phd in kicking ass and taking names.

>>149530320
tonight it's the club world cup for me, watch the sissies complain about the heat and thunderstorms lmao

>>149530408
F

>>149530376
toronto is the hockey mecca

why isnt copey posting about the knights newest player? his silence is deafening.

>>149530408
Hmm, at least this is more believable than some player suddenly getting a rash from equipment he wore for 30+ years and one of the (((O6))) teams got free cap out of the whole deal.

>>149530284
>>149530307
When Colorado won in '22 this general was celebrating and declaring the sunbelt to be BTFO. You don't get to pretend Denver is in the sunbelt now

>>149530434
it's sunbelt and should be nvked

Gary desu

>>149530368
They pay taxes to each location that they play a game in. So 41 games are paid taxes to your state, then the remaining 41 games are paid to each individual team's state. So say you're in LA you pay California for 45, NY 3, Florida 2, etc. and if you're Canadian you have to also pay your Federal taxes at a higher rate than your American teammates

>>149530434
shut up, faggot. it's never really been about the sun belt, it's been about failing markets and gary's methods to reviving them and selling more jerseys.

We love our kitties!

>laffs

>>149530450
>Tampa
>Colorado
>Vegas
>failing markets
?

>>149530449
only state/provincial income taxes vary heavily, federal income taxes for the highest income bracket in canada and the usa is roughly similar.

>>149530449
>you're Canadian you have to also pay your Federal taxes at a higher rate than your American teammates
kwab, just so manjeet sharbabkakadan, and his 170 roommates, can get their curry and rice for the weekend thanks to the CWB.

>>149530449
yeah, for a player who actually plays, but these ltir contracts are for non-performing players. niggas never step foot in that state

>>149530453

>>149530423
No it isn't. I've been to Toronto so many times man, barely anyone gives a fuck about the Leafs and NHL. Maybe it might have changed since the last time I was there, but you would see more Raptors gear than any other team. You could say Ontario is, sure I believe that, but not in Toronto itself

>city is a mile high
>claims their city can't be Sunbelt cause muh mountain majesty and shieet
closer to the sun than Sunrise, technically

>>149530449
But what about Gary's tax policy?

>>149530464
>>Tampa
No cups since pre-cap lockout. congrats on not knowing puck
>Colorado
picrel
>Vegas
Oh, they paid $500M for the luxury not to fail. But yeah, ignore the panthers, you fucking faggot.

>not paying your Gary Taxes

>>149530485
>>city is a mile high
not by prominence

>>149530471
>manjeet sharbabkakadan, and his 170 roommates
kek

>>149530434
That didn’t happen

>>149530477

dangle just said the knights lost the trade.

>>149530522
how is he wrong?

>>149530522

>>149530408
we will miss him

>>149530522
This is cope

>>149530493
Based Gary making all you Indians seethe for all of your existence

>Salmon Arm Silverbacks play in Salmon Arm, BC
>City isn't situated on a gigantic arm of a salmon
>Furthermore, salmon don't have arms

>>149529905 (OP)
Something about Marner looks less bust-like than usual here. Is it the colour of his jersey?

He did it.. he actually fucking did it. He joined a real team.
I can't believe this

How’s Tavares feeling about his extension after seeing Marchand’s?

how bad will the laff seethe be when they get a first round exit again the the knights win another cup

>>149530522
what was the return they had to send just so gary didn't have to embarrass himself by penalizing his beloved golden showers for clearly tampering?

>>149530554
its on the salmon arm of the shuswap lake, genius.

>>149529964
I did not watch the fake Bettman cup. Olympics and Stan Lee are the only champions which matter

Alright this isn’t funny anymore who shit my pants

At this point we might as well call ourselves a Canadian team because we will never get out of the first round

>>149530570
He’s happy

>>149530554
And the gorillas?

>>149530599
it would be better if they played the knights in the finals and lost in game 7, at home, in overtime, to a marner goal

>>149530500
being bad =/= failing market
>> ignore the panthers, you fucking faggot.
I didn't list them because they actually were a failing market

>>149530608
Olympics are cringe and don't count until they let Russia back in. The only thing that matters is the Stan Lee

>>149530554
>Medicine Hat
>Punkeydoodles Corners
>Dildo, Newfoundland
>Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!
You're a funny people and I love your Nation for that, lad

>>149530613
that was me, sorry sir

good thing those fans threw their marner jerseys on the ice so now they dont have to take them down to the dump

>>149530590
And he's still paying more taxes.

can we still call it taking a marner if he's actually good on a non-shit team?

>>149529905 (OP)
When I was about 9 or so, I went as the wrestler Goldust for halloween. It was the late-90s, I was a big wrestlefag at that time and he reminded me of my favorite Wrestler, Sting, but I went as Sting the year before, so I had to do something different. Anyways, my Grandma knitted together a goldust outfit, made of cloth, not leather like he does in real life, and it looked terrible. Yet, it looked way less gay than this faggot looks in a golden showers' jersey.

>>149530599
If the Knights do a back to back, it'll be another Larry Murphy/Phil Kessel moment to them. They'll be in shamble for another summer, maybe more.

>>149530643
lots of silliness 'round these parts!

just died to steam in white knuckle

>>149530631
>being bad =/= failing market
Yes, it does. Being bad means less fans, means less jersey and ticket sales, means less revenue...and for gary, that is the biggest loss. You've been owned and proven wrong on the same topic three times now. You will not be getting a fourth. Goodbye.

>>149530678

>>149530617
>only a decade without a cup
You will NEVER be a Canadian team.

>>149530712
>Being bad means less fans, means less jersey and ticket sales, means less revenue
Press D to doubt

>>149530678
not reading all that
summarize in 1 word for me

>>149530678
did you bring the sign?

>>149530642
how dare you talk about finlands gold medal like that

>>149530653
Plumbers seeing an uptick in clogged toilets due to jerseys being flushed

>>149530728
Calm down Raj, we are as Canadian as the captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs

>>149530712
So Toronto has been a failing market since 1967?

>>149530736
Marner

>>149530700
>Come-by-Chance
>Blow Me Down
>Eyebrow
>Crotch Lake
>Vulcan
>Stoner

"Dickshooter is the name of a trailmarker and also of at least three features in Owyhee County, Idaho: a ridge, a reservoir, and a creek. These are in close proximity to each other in the southwestern corner of the state, in a wilderness area approximately 24 miles northwest of Riddle."

>>149530764
raped

>>149530752
and the captain of the maple leafs is as ______ as the ______

>>149530758
No, they are already good goys who show up to every game and already buy the jerseys. Why the fuck would gary put his business mind on that? It's a successful market in his mind.

>>149530741
Man wrestling used to be so based. I just can't believe how far it has fallen all so Linda McMahon wanted to be a politician

>>149530764
kek

>>149530773
Hi, Mitch Ryan
>image unrelated

you guys have a place named dildo island lol

>>149530782
>libtards: why do you guys make EVERYTHING about politics!?!?!?!
>also libtards: this HAS to be motivated by politics!
Thank god for hockey, because otherwise you'd be a sad, lonely man with no one to talk to.

>>149530617
The Kings will finally win a playoff series in 2035

>>149530778
So being bad doesn't mean less fans, less jersey and ticket sales, and less revenue

>>149530805
I'm a big fan of Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump.

why doesnt gary live in gary indiana?

>>149530823
being bad and in the south does. retard. why do you think gary gave the kings two cups a decade ago? they were losing traction against LA's dozen other teams. Two cups, they sell some more jerseys, they get some nig on their team to appease their cucked governor and now they are in gary's shadow realm of first round exits. In a few years, they'll get another SCF appearance, sell more jerseys and then around and around we go.

>>149530843
I bet he could buy the whole town, but I bet he couldn't afford to rebuild it
just guessing

>>149530843
he prefers to live in Gary, Iran, in the offseason at least

>>149530798
Man, I miss Mitch Hedberg. Great stand up comedian.

>>149530271
I want a fancy japanese toilet

>>149530870
whole lotta gary's out there in the wide world

>>149530836
for me, it's Forget

>>149530408
F

>>149530857
Colorado isn't in the south

Can't wait Marner is back in Toronto.

>>149530870
>>149530890

>>149530906
it is. deal with it softpusy. you're wrong.

>>149530906
it's south of me that's all that matters

>>149530678
your grandma must really love you

>>149530920
Not at all

>>149530890
>Gary Iran
That slimy little turncoat bastard.

>>149530930
She does. I've lived a very loved and happy life.

>>149530890
whoa gary owns his own militia with an airforce??

>>149530269
he's elite

motherfuckin' Garys everywhere

>>149529922

>>149530960
You're lucky. I should really call my grandma more often

>>149530169
Popeye eats spinach and gains muscle and test
You smoke spinach flavoured dope and turn into a lazy cuçk.

>>149530820
Buddy IDK what the fuck conclusions you're jumping to here (guaranteed I'm more conservative than your stupid ass), but it has been well documented that WWE going to a more family friendly programming was because Linda McMahon wanted to get into politics and being a conservative, that's the route she and Vince thought would be better for optics versus Hot Lesbian Action, Bra and Thong matches, or Divas Mud Wrestling.

>Thank god for hockey, because otherwise you'd be a sad, lonely man with no one to talk to

sounds like projection buddy. It's ok one day you'll grow up and get out of the bottom tax bracket

>>149530890
Gary City has a Gary Store

Is pic related the proof of tampering?

>>149530999
>>>/pw/

>>149530914
>Noooo why did the heckin' zoomer move to a different hockey entertainment corporation than the one I back financially?!

>>149531051
hertl bros, not feeling good about now

>>149531044
finally -_-
>I can buy and take home a Gary of my own
I'm getting a custom Gary with all the accessories

there is nothing more cringe than when a stadium starts singing along to country roads, all the small things, or your love tbqhwyf

>>149530734
do you think shannon wears hockey jerseys on during sex?

This was my favorite part...
>dead mom
>utah is the home of the hockey south pacific AHHHKAKAKAKEEEKEEEKEEKEE
>is your mom dead
>goes to disney
>goes to buffalo
>MORE CRINGE
>is your mom still dead
>meghan best pick never taken swede
>kangs finally get a pick
>GARY ALERT
>shamless ads
>flames won, maybe
Let's do it again!

>>149531084
He probably can't get hard without one on

>>149531094
My favourite part was when connie cooked

>>149531084
If Mr. Brightside comes on, I sing.

so are we still calling him marnerjeet?

>>149531081
raped

>>149531086
no, because he likes to have his nipples pinched

>>149531121

>>149530877
Cold water bidets are like $40 on Amazon and a 5 year old could install one.

is marner even good?

how do you dry off your butt hole after its been sprayed with cold water?

>>149531126

hang it out on the line

>>149531084
>your love
That song is about a dude fucking another chick while his girl is on vacation...

>>149531157
There's this thing created about 1100 years ago called paper

>>149531151
Yeah. He's absolutely filthy good in the regular season, but crumbles under pressure. Fortunately absolutely no one gives a fuck about Vegas so he won't feel any pressure and will be able to perform phenomenonally well in the playoffs. Knights will win the cup in the next two years, just to maximize Laff suffering. Marner might even make a run at the Conn Smythe.

>>149529930
IT WAS OUR TURN

i'm just glad the old fart is gone and they can actually start building a young core properly

gary's webpage still hasn't acknowledged the marner trade yet

T H A N K

Y O U

G A R Y

>>149530408
Back just in time for the yoffs

Miracle of modern medicine

HAIL GARY

>>149531252
>no honey mustard
BOOOOOOOO Gary BOOOOOOOO

For me, it's Mitchell Marner

>NMC kicks in July 1st
Time is truly running out for my Nuckies to save themselves from a decade of darkness.

>>149531248
(((health reasons))), yeah all 8.8 million of them...

>>149531314
I'll be honest, a lot of the time I forget that the Canucks even exist.

update: pet plant outside in the sun collecting photons

>>149531314
it's k, bains is the next naslund

>>149531355
Neat

>>149531334
Understandable if you're out East as the Canucks play pretty late into the night out there.

It’s hotter than 2 rats fucking in a wool sock in the middle of August

I never knew that my Nuckies had Celebrini's younger brother in the system??

>>149531393
well, it's the end of June, so... get a calendar and an ice water, I guess

>>149531405
More like twinkabrini

Laffs should sign Josh Bailey to make up for not getting bennett or ekblad or marchand

>>149531405
Anime hijabi :)

>>149531393
agreed, this is bullshit. maybe we do need canada

>>149530999
reddit spacing

>>149529753
I accept your concession

>>149531444
checked

Just took a yuge marner in the Philadelphia

>>149531436
i hope that him and buttazzoni make the team

>>149531463
Are Philly cheesesteaks actually good?

It's weird to imagine you are real people

>>149531495
I find my existence unbelievable as well
>image is unrelated

>>149531143
I'll look into it

>>149531393
>>149531495

>>149531495
it's weird to imagine trb writing trb is gay on his wall but he did it

>>149531538
I thought that guy was an oily boy

>>149531525
what trb looks like irl

>>149531495
a /hoc/ irl meetup would be so much fun

>>149531551
no that was a 45 soon to be 46 year old man (you) who wrote that after doxing some guy from edmonton

>>149531493
Yeah

>>149531355
based :3

>>149531574
My b I wasn't paying attention.

>>149531393
I hate summer so fucking much

>>
>a /hoc/ irl meetup would be so much fun

>>149531613
bud would rape you again

>>149531616
happy pride month

I thought the Leafs were going to sign him as a short term Marnerstein replacement.

>>149531613
51°28'02.3"N 112°42'34.2"W
meet me here at the equinox

>>149531645
patty kane is so washed up he's heading to the >laffs

>>149530344
KEK
CORE FOUR
TWO MORE PLAYOFFS
HOLY SNEED

STOP TALKING ABOUT FUCKING MY ASS, MITCH

no one here wants to talk about gay sex with you, you fucking faggoty pervert, go away

>>149531645
why is kane so obsessed with detroit

I grew up playing hockey. Played AAA goaltending all my life but I wasn’t good enough. I was good, but not enough. I would have sacrificed years of my life to play for the Maple Leafs. I would’ve worn that crest with pride. You could pay me anything and I’d wear it with a smile. It would’ve been my life’s crowning achievement to don the blue and white and even have a sniff at bringing the Stanley cup back to the city that raised me, gave me a good life, and provided me with so many opportunities I likely would not have had elsewhere.

Seeing the true colours of Marner is upsetting. He didn’t take a hometown discount, he never took the accountability he should have, he tried to milk this club for all he could. He doesn’t understand how lucky he is, being good enough to play in the NHL. Some of us try and try but hard work doesn’t always pay off.

I hope he’s remembered as a selfish selfish player. It was always about him. Not about the team. Not about the city. He wanted to be the number one here and when he wasn’t, he cried and moaned.

I’d go as far as saying I don’t want to see him dress in red and white and don the red maple leaf either. By Marner. I hope you bring your crap attitude to Vegas with you.

>>149531668
I've always wanted to see the world's largest dinosaur

GARY BELT WILL WIN NEXT YEAR AGAIN

>>149531691
And now you can :3

>>149531712
Watch out for that T Rex right behind ya buddy.

>>149531668
Neat

>>149531683
Gonna leave a huge Tavares in the toilet later tonight.

>>149531645
>Toronto didn't even get the consolation old man Patrick Kane
Free agency is effectively over before it even started. let's take a look at Toronto's spoils:
+Nicolas Roy
-Mitch Marner
+Stephen Lorentz extension

That's it.

welp. time to hit the gym. see you ladyboy's all tomorrow!

>>149531712
Let's go to the happy belly bar and grill afterwards :3

>>149531680
no law against raping women there

>rags

>>149531679
whatever you say, pal

>>149531683
Marchand extension embarrassed Tavares

>>149531683
Gary should get on his knees and beg BabCOCK to become a NHL coach again. He was 100% in the right.

>>149531774
I'm your pal, buddie

>>149531748
why didn't you go earlier with me?

44 year old brad marchand will help the thrashers win round 1 of the playoffs against the leafs

>>149531562
You backed out of our last one at the Spike

>>149531725
Holy fug, you just saved my life
>>149531751
:)

>canada day
>FOLD

Huomenta but the opposite

Leafs vs Knights final.
Knights win game 7 on an OT goal by Marner.

Bet the farm.

>>149531835
>going out of your way to treat others pooly is le based

>>149531836
Night, pookie -_-

>>149531783
It probably embarrassed Gary more

>taking this sad POS seriously anymore

>>149531837
Not on the >laffs to get past the Marchand led kitties

>>149531851

About to drop a Marner from my Vegass

>>149531903
Very nice...

>>149531562
I'd sit in the corner and laugh at how fat and cringe most of you are in real life

>>149531903
I took my Marner of the day a couple of hours ago. A real spray painting Marner.

>My blooOOOOOOOOOd flows harshly

>>149531937
I'd rather be fat, cringe, and having fun with my /hoc/ friends than be the "cool" loner in the corner.

GARY BELT!!!

>>149531937
you'd sit to get the weight off your legs be honest

>>149531835
>Elbows up cuckolds

>>149532001
Kek

>>149531851
>going out of your way to treat others pooly is le based
you're right, it's not
that's why we're forcing your gay country to stop doing it

>>149531851
LOL FUCKING FAGGOT ASS CANADIAN IS BUTTHURT

>>149531937
Me in the other corner with the lexapro stare

>>149531947
that's the only good song on the album

>>149531947
I wonder if Phil became a Kraken fan.
>>149532151
First 3 mog the rest of the album.

>Everyday I thank god I'm not Canadian or else I'd have to hear every year about the meme called 1993

>>149531953
>I'd rather be fat, cringe, and having fun with my /hoc/ friends than be the "cool" loner in the corner.
Nah fuck that I'd rather be cool

Dang a fren just got banned

>>149532292
in this hypothetical you've traveled across the country to sit by yourself. that's not cool at all

Make sure to stock up on snacks and booze for Free Agent Frenzy tomorrow! I hope to see you all there.

>>149532416

ngl lots of pressure to stop mcfaggot twice, as a fan lol
1993

>>149531044
this is where they buy the ref pucks jsyk

>>149532376
I ain't sitting by myself I'm sitting with all the other cool guys. It's something you non-cool people would never understand

What do You view him as?

>>149532520
Where does Gary buy his magnets?? They have to be custom-made, but who makes them?

>>149532562
I view him as someone who escaped an abusive relationship

>>149532562
a floater

>>149532542
>tfw wasn't invited to the cool table at the /hoc/ cookout.

>>149532416
Are there usually a bunch of trade right away?

>>149532516
I hope he goes to some Sunbelt team so he can help make sure the meme lives on forever

>>149532542
Hey, I'm a cool guy AND I love hanging out
>let's order pizza and watch a movie about hockey

>>149532614
>it's just like high school all over again

>>149532562
>PLAN THE PARADE!
>nothing happens
>SEND HIM TO VEGAS
lol

>>149532614

>>149532635
>He picks D3 Mighty Ducks

Get the fuck out and never speak to me or my fellow cools again

>>149532416
I'm bringing my 2 liter bottle of shitty olive oil!

>>149531683
you're not wrong, but the same could be said about 90% of players. They are loyal to the $$$$, which is somewhat understandable considering most of the clubs treat them like cattle anyway.

>>149532706
Your team passed on him

>>149532683
Actually, I was thinking about flipping a coin for Slap Shot vs. Goon
>fuck Emilio Estevez

>>149532731

i'm loyal to bud and bud alone

>>149532361
He's the american flag with whom you only post about /hoc/ e-celebrities who I shall not name because giving them attention kills /hoc/. Also lmao yeah McDavid is out, giving 10.5M to Bouchard is insane
>>149532578
Same, laffs fanbase and media is cancerous as fuck. They act all uppity despite having 4 cups from the 60s, three of those had a league with 6 teams, the final cup win was with 12 teams lmao

>>149532745
we know you are, Mitch

>>149532745

>>149532762
you're scared of bud

>>149532742
how many middle finger photos do you have lmao

>>149532777

>>149532738
>>149532683
Yeah fuck that, we're watching D2.

>>149532756
No, Pekka, 1967 was the last year with 6 teams. They never won anything or went to the finals at all ever since they went to 12 nad more.

>>149532782

>>149532731
How many Calder playoff MVPs does Wolf have?

>>149532798
Oh sorry dude, thanks for correcting me

>>149531683
Buddy, I hate to break it to you, but it's just a game. At the end of the he's an employee for a billion dollar company. He doesn't owe you anything and you shouldn't expect anything from these guys. Nobody is holding a gun to your head forcing you to watch the games. The older you get the more you realize just how trivial sports are. They're fun don't get me wrong, but ultimately, you're just a consumer of the product

>>149532788
>laughs nervously

>>149532562
making up an argument between me and a confused syrian refugee about mitch marner

>>149532791
Alright, looks like we'll have to roshambo for it then
> Go ahead and limber yourselves up

>>149532791
This guy definitely sat at the cool table in high school

>>149532838
bud and mitch own ya

>>149532823

>>149532838
>Spoiler: no one wins

>>149532803
He won goalie of the year twice in the WHL and twice in the AHL

That said Šilovs is based as fuck

wheres jen

>>149532852
me when i found out you went to the doctor for a medical shot over memes

>>149532869
You have fun with that, chump... champ

>>149532869
i wonder what trb sr thought when he saw the bill

>>149532858
Sometimes it's just fun to play

>>149532905
he took off the ol' belt and gave him hwhat for

>>149532868
Jen Who?

>>149532801
take THIS

I am Jen

>>149532838
Alright give me your best shot, I'll run circles around you like a 4th line plug around Bouchard

>>149532993
Do people in the Philippines worship Phillip

>>149532993
Oh, good
Here you are, I found your shirt
> No idea how long I've had it, but no one has worn it, guaranteed

petro retired bro's :(

>>149533086
well, where's the twitter screen shoot or whatever?

I just got out of raw/smackdown what did I miss?

>>149533222
checks

why is stevie paying 7 mil for the corpse of patrick kane?

>>149533293
because they canceled free agency early

>>149533293
He has the cap space

>>149533346
shouldnt he use that towards a player that can stick around for more than a season?

>the cap space to purchase absolutely no one

>>149533368
That isn't in the Yzerplan

>>149533370
k'andre miller offer sheet

>>149533368
Why would he do that lol?

>>149530169
Thats right goy smoke your weed and do nothing with your life

We sang happy bird by to Cody Rhodes and jay brought out a cake but he dropped it

>>149533427
Does he golf?

>>149533438

>>149533438
>Spend the afternoon with the boys guilt free. Hang out from 4-7pm with Hayes, Noodles and the O-Dog as they talk Leafs, sports and pretty much everything that catches their attention.
Catching up with my friends on Overdrive is not "nothing".

it took yzerman 14 years to first win the cup. he told detoilet fans they should be willing to wait at least that long for the yzerplan to come together. it's only year 6. don't be in a rush to commit to players who won't be in winning shape when the time comes.

>>149533555
OK, Mr Yzerman, sir

>>149533427
At least he will feel at home in Detroiet

>hes friends with a grown man named noodles

>>149533548
>we're back tomorrow at
>4 pm
>we'll chat then

>>149533620
What about it?

>>149533620
better hockey nickname than just calling him mclenner or some shit like they would now a days

>>149532731
WOAH LE HECKIN MANLET GOALIE WHO DIDN'T MAKE PLAYOFFS

>>149533548
I've tried giving these guys a chance a few times but they see everything through leafs glasses, they aren't funny, they are not insightful and they're soulless as fuck, it feels like what a corporate AI would squeeze out when your prompt is "give me a generic sports podcast with three distinct roles, their main point should be regurtitated opinions of the fans of Toronto Maple Leafs, search the hashtag 'leafs' on X and compile a list with top 5 most replied stories"

takagi

>>149533478
I think all these guys do, plus standing around, wearing nice clothes and looking sad sounds like something he'd like

>grown men's silly ass nicknames

>>149532993

>>149533702
>cantskate can't into dressing room culture

are the leafs better after this trade

>>149533685
Literally the best player to come out of your country in a decade. Show some respect.

>>149533766
Gotta have some results before that

>>149533766
Tkachuk and Eichel won cups.

>>149533723
If you have a nickname outside of high school, that's adorable
>said the guy with a silly online "nickname" on /hoc/

matthews seems too moody to be captain

>>149533802
how does it feel that "the raped bitch" is your nickname?

>>149533741
>trade
if thats what you wanna call it i guess

its more of an ass raping to every leaf fan from a smug shameless jews directive

>>149533881
12m in cap space is worth more than a soft assist merchant.

>>149533881
nic roy sure does have some big skates to fill. some big toilets to clog.

mitch will win a cup now that hes not canadian

>>149533948
Contrary to popular belief amongst American fans of the sport, Canadian hockey players do not actually lose their Canadian citizenship when playing for an American Stanley Cup championship team.

I've been outta the loop for a few days, can someone give me the qrd of the Marner trade shenanigans? I could look it up myself but I dont give a shit about the laffs enough to learn about it, and I trust you idiots more as bastions of truth than the media

>>149533988
wayne gretzy did

>>149533993
marner will now be booed louder than anybody has ever been booed before in the maple leaf arena

>Maccelli to the laffs

I hate it so much when finns are in Toronto, it's almosy in irrational dislike

>>149533993
>the qrd
treliving is a fucking retard

there, you're caught up

>>149533993
strong gurgling of a marner-vegas connection, laffs threatened to file a tampering complaint against vegas, vegas traded them a player for marner's rights and signed him to a $12x4

>>149534024
Why, everyone wanted Marner out? It doesn't make sense to boo him

>>149533993
the leafs blackmailed the veygas lads into trading for marner, all they could muster in return was some guy that works at a mezzanine pizza shop

>>149534052
laffbrains don't know what they want

>>149534052
Laff fans are convinced they'd have Rantanen signed long term if Marner had waived his NMC for a trade to Carolina.

>>149534042
>12x4
That's a fucking bargain, 12 years of Marner for 4M. Wow!

You retard, first comes the year, then the amount of money

>>149534024
All part of a master plan to tarnish a reputation he didn't value in the first place
> For all the glitters is not Gold

>>149534037
why the fuck did the leafs hire him after they saw what he did to my flames

>>149534126
retard

>>149534122
Better not show the finnish interview where he said that "I'm just I wasn't shipped to Toront" and laughs

>>149534126
putting the dollar sign in the middle feels weird

>>149534109
its a documented peer reviewed fact that they want penis of all kinds in and around them at all times

>>149534145
but he wore leaf jam-jams when he was a kid :(

>>149534187
link

>TRB and Tagaki faggot spamming /hoc/ all summer with leafs bitching about state taxes, samir and other retarded shit where the NEET's post their apu's and other crap
there, thats the summer

>>149534187
Fyi I dont proofread. Happy that it wasn't Toronto*

>>149533988

>>149534240
yep that is off-season /hoc/

wow that's a lotta shit contracts good thing >my team isn't on there

>>149534240
I hope he gets an internet girlfriend so we never have to read his incoherent BS ever again

>>149534212
i know, sweetie, but Wayne is a greedy self centered cock and you're better off with him, Honey
>find yo'self a better man

>>149534240
Along with occasional quality /mu/sic discussion.

takagi mentioned

>>149534278
makar and hughes will be on the top of that list soon

>>149530590
And yet Toronto fans call Marner a bitch

>>149534149
Gary said "i like the cut of this goys jib" and sent him off to another canadian franchise to ruin. I knew it was going to come to something like this. It was only a matter of time.

>pic
F to m2k's penis
a botched circumcision cut off his head and the man cannot 'arrive' because of it

>>149534278
Never in a million years did I watch Nurse and Bouchard in Bakersfield and think to myself those guys would be two of the top 10 highest paid defensemen in the NHL in a 6 years

>>149530659
Canada Revenue already went after him for unpaid taxes

>>149534309
>F to m2k's penis
The guy who got him to reveal that is a fucking asshole

>>149534236
Finnish podcast/influencer with audio only, it's just gibberish for you. I'll try to find a reel or youtube for you incase there's one

>>149534240
apus are quality and a mainstay in /hoc/ culture

>>149534294
based and flamespilled

>>149534278
Having soulless brown eyes like that is off-putting, it's like watching into the eyes of a fish. There's no soul behind those things. At least that's what we say here.

so whose the top cheese free agent for tomorrow? granlund?

>>149534294
sour skittles are the bomb

>>149534430
1. Ehlers
2. Boeser
3. Granlund

>>149534303
I'm glad someone like you made this post, because it confirms something I've always thought in the back of my mind:

A lot of you have an unreasonable hatred for this guy because he is what you wish you could be when you were younger: a franchise star on your hometown team. That's why at the first sign of him potentially holding out, the hate and vitriol flooded in. "How could he do this, i would never have done it if it was me! How come he gets to live the dream I once had and do something like this".

I can understand why fans were upset at the time (I was), and the criticism that followed (justified), but the unhealthy hate and obsession is something I'll never get. People still think the problem was that Marner was overpaid, as if the difference between winning and losing was a difference of ~1.5 million.

The problem was never even one specific player, per se. It was a collection of the four big contracts in conjunction with a flat cap that objectively affected us the most. Couple that with some misfires (Kadri Trade, Hyman walking) and a bit of poor puck luck, and you have the past half decade of Leaf playoff hockey.

Marner wasn't without fault, nor free of criticism, but he was over hated and mistreated by a lot of vicious, pathetic fans. Hope he wins a cup in Vegas so a portion of you can continue to be miserable.

>>149534278
t. zero cups

>>149534278
wow those penguins sure are fucking stupid paying erik karlsshit that much money haha what a blunder haha
a contract that bad can destroy a team h-haha

>>149534525
Don't lump Stanley Cup winner Seth Jones in with the rest of those losers.

>>149534506
>Boeser
I wonder how much a 50 point player costs these days

He's Burnsville's finest

>>149534240
i come here after days away and see takagi being posted and just laugh
so if you think its just one person you're a retard

>>149534569
He rejected an 8x8 earlier this year apparently.

>>149532819
Yeah asking athletes to take team friendly deals is fucking retarded when you realize the money these teams bring in. And it’s not like management wouldn’t trade you to some shithole like Utah, or that every single team isn’t massively overpaying some busts that are half as good as someone like Marner. Also Matthews swindled the leafs even worse

>>149534554
doughty has 2 cups

>>149534620
if he wants more than that he's cray-cray. that being said, he might just want to go home.

>>149534635
It's all about legacy and winning. That's the good players dont really want to go to Canada and prefer a winning culture with no cancerous fans. Imagine being on a strolleywalk with your baby and wife and then suddenly fans jump you

takagi mentioned again

>>149534693
imagine visiting the pumpkin patch with your family and suddenly fans jump you

>>149534635
>Yeah asking athletes to take team friendly deals is fucking retarded when you realize the money these teams bring in
This would be a valid point if the NHL wasn't the only major sports league in NA with a hard salary cap. One player earning significantly more than they "deserve" is enough to cripple a team for their tenure.

looks like gary is foreshadowing the next crosby

>>149534723
poor guy has been through enough

>>149534771
Dubas is a such a numale

>>149534771
>scouting reports that just say he works hard and skates funny

actual wayne simmonds regen

>>149534771
Do these kids realize that if they were white, they wouldn't get this kind of attention from media? I'd feel horrible knowing that my skin is why I'm in the spotlight

>wow so you're black and you skate, how does it feel

>>149534799
The worst is yet to come...

>>149534771
Phrasing it like that is a bit on the nose

>>149534860
I’d start with a hypothetical like, what would it feel like if you weren’t at morning skate?, before something as complex as that.

>>149534860
Probably notice it but realise they gotta continue pretending they are victims for the extra attention and cash.

>>149534837
quintessential

>>149534860
>realize
Your first problem is thinking they have the capability to "realize" things

is canada day a real holiday like russia day

>>149534946
It's the day of the year when I make poutine

>>149534946
It used to be until they allegedly found mass graves of indigenous residential school students (unproved and disputed).

>>149534946
yes, and there's a good hot dog cart i'm going to visit since i have the day off

>>149534946
its kinda like cado day

>>149534946
are canadians smart enough to have a holiday?

>>149535005
no

>>149535005

average iq in the usa in 98

methinks it's time to watch some tsn top 10s and eat bbq pringles

does Carolina exist just to draft russians?

>>149535120
They drafted one good russian in Svetchnikov and they're desperate for a second one

>>149530271
>>149530673
>>149531463
>>149531903
>>149531946
I'm going to nip this in bud now.

Now that Marner has evolved into an absolute based chad, we don't call shits marners anymore.

TYBK and go knights RIP petro

>>149535120
Their main purpose in the league currently is to act as a stepping stone from the 2nd round to the Stanley Cup finals.

>>149535120
They think it's a market inefficiency, at least the guys who are playing in russian juniors, not a horrible idea considering how low the hit rate really is in most of the draft. Also doing this kind of math thing but then saying "I don't fucking know, all of the goalies are 0" is funny to me

>>149534024
Funny how they’re all calling Tavares a hero and vilifying Marner when what Tavares did to the isles was so much worse

>>149535151
*takes a giant marner*
sorry it stinks in here

>>149535120
probably because they have a scout in russia

>>149535153
Don't talk about the Stanley Cup finals. You know nothing about it.

>>149535162
>when what Tavares did to the isles was so much worse
that was islanders mismanagement

>>149535164
we don't say that anymore

Could the next thread be takagi themed?

>>149534240
>I do t like what these posts say so I’m going to assign pejoratives to the anonymous authors like a 10 year old
These threads suck

>>149535162
>stephen is still crying about it

>>149535173
Tavares never made it sound like he wanted to fuck off from the organization

>>149535151
Are you aware that shit smells more in hot temperatures? Pic related, it's the good suburb area of Vegas. Marner's wife is gonna love the latinos harrasing her

>>149535151
I just dropped a solid yet moist Marner in my drawers, grabbed the sumbitch and threw it in a Tom Brady spiral directly into my neighbour's yard

>>149535167
teams from which nations were in the 2025 scf?

>>149535162
They hate mitch marner because he pays his taxes

>>149535167
I know more than you could ever imagine.

>>149535184
When did you wake up and be like "Wow I can't win a Stanley. Guess I'll just become a fucking weeb" ?

fun fact: I'm Steve Dangle's black buddy's pet goldfish babysitters mailman's favourite ice cream shop owner's daughters black boyfriends pitbull breeders coke dealers gambling app runner.

>>149535185
which is exactly why the islanders fucked up in managing their top assest

>>149535200
Sorry bud :(

>>149535189
>>149535192
we don't say that anymore.

>>149535217
So glad they didn't trade him for a bottom 6 player? Marner got dealt for a peanut.

>>149534507
Holy shit I’ve never seen a c=more misinformed and ignorant post. Unless this is John Tavares’s dear John letter #2 then gtfo

NEW
>>149535226
>>149535226
>>149535226

>>149535206
It's a funny idea though that some weeb is acting up in the internet .ea while he has a panic attack at the store because he worries that the cashier has profiled him (she has) for only buying pringles and pepsi max

>>149535228
a bottom 6 players is still more than NOTHING

>>149535206
being a weeb is fun

>>149535173
>tavares repeatedly said he wanted to stay with the islanders
>wouldn’t sign an extension during the season (team mismanagement here as they should have dumped his ass then and there)
>immediately signs with Toronto (yeah no tampering)
>broadcasts how it’s always been his dream blah blah
>also relays how he didn’t want the isles to trade him so Toronto could maximize assets
He literally conspired to fuck over the islanders who was his home for a decade and the fans loved him.

So what happened? Isles get good for three seasons while the laffs lagged. JT is a snake and I’m glad he was embarrassed via captain defrocking and his laughable “totally my idea for team friendliness” extension, compounded by the juicy extension Marchand just got from Florida.

>>149535217
They were operating in good faith and trusted Tavares. Tavares was operating in bad faith. True scum