Thread 214241980

Why didn't he just divorce?

>google.com
>can you hide bodies inside a females rectum?

>>214242142
kek

Realistically speaking, how could he have gotten away with this? Chris was in a no win situation.

>>214242142
>That blurred picture

>>214242240
Should have not talked to the cops. If they insisted, lawyered up.

>>214242240
Family vacation to nearest active volcano. Shannanan was so into social media it would have been easy to get her and the kids to back up over the lip so you could get them all in the picture. "Say cheese, you goddamn monsters!"

>>214242240
https://youtu.be/pXEQLInTtTg?si=nczEaS8IVn-faj39

>>214242240
it was simply bad timing, the earth and the moon would have been much closer if he had waited another couple of weeks so he could have easily disposed of the bodies

>>214241980 (OP)
>I hope she didn't murder herself... and those kids, yeah

>>214242395
The moon and volcanos had nothing to do with the assisted suicides. Chris was just really into craters and other puckered orafices.

Does anyone have the WoW pasta?

>*bweheh..
>I can't even SLEEP!
>ppff BLAHHAHAHA

what the fuck was he thinking? ive never seen someone so clueless on how to get away with murder who actually tried to get away with it. he literally couldn't have fumbled harder.

>>214241980 (OP)
what with chris' and killing their families.
>chris benoit
>this chris
>Christopher Vaughn

>>214242352
i don't get, he seems like he's completely off the mark for me so it's not funny, it's just made up. do americans find this comedy to be incisive and hitting the mark?
>white women don't yell
>white women tell you they'll fuck your friend philip when you go to work
neither of these are things that accurately depict white women behavior. just seems like made-up nigger shucking and jiving, especially the white women don't yell part.

>>214242779
Shanaan arranging phrases containing "I am.." and "I am ME" actually invited demons into their house, one latched itself onto Chris b/c he is easily swayed and always follows orders

>>214242088
he would have to pay alimony and lose the house

>>214242240
don't be a retard for starters

>>214241980 (OP)
>I jsut want those dead kids to bum rush me and give me a big hug, I can see it now, as they return alive and totally not dead

>>214242321
if you don't talk you are going to look guilty af

>>214242240
Just divorce the bitch and take your anal slut with you to another state or country

A part that I dont see discussed enough is when the police and Shannan's friend first entered his house, he confidentially came out of their bed room with her wedding ring and made mention of the kids blankie.. As if the cops and her friend were going to see that and go, "Ahh gotcha, she left with the kids.. Alright have a nice day now we'll be in touch."

All we can think of is maybe she went out jogging with those kids and somebody snatched her.

>>214242992
she left her weding ring that means she's leaving officer!

>>214242952
True, but the spouse is always #1 suspect already and the lawyer prevents them from getting additional evidence.

>>214242879
>map of germany
wtf is this shit?

>>214242142
lmao

>>214242879
i remember girls i knew trying to explain dream boards/mood boards to me, about ten years ago. i was a total simp at the time but i still remember that i completely failed to pretend to be interested because the whole notion was so lame and boring. my brain was literally falling asleep listening to their descriptions and i just mumbled and my mind drifted and i couldn't participate in the conversation.

>>214242779
>what the fuck was he thinking?
he wasn't
probably some sorta stressed induced senility which wpuld also explain some of his more catatonic mannerisms

>>214242142
>>214242255
good thread

>>214243111
>stressed induced senility
shit, is this really a thing? i don't want to fall victim to it. maybe i should quit my job.

>>214243147
Yeah, stressful events are considered the major trigger for Senile Squalor Syndrome(Diogenes Syndrome), but theres also a fuckton of other factors and the brain be wack yo

>>214242827
Did you know that when a comedian says something like "this is a true story" or "this just happened to me the other day" and then go into an anecdote, that they didnt actually experience what they are saying they did, but instead attempting to make people laugh by relaying a fantastical story?

>>214243173
woah, that looks like total kino to me. i must definitely be at risk of contracting it. i need to watch out for myself and avoid stress

>>214241980 (OP)
>I just really, really miss those kids
>God I miss them so much
>Really missing those kids right now
>Really want those kids back ASAP

The foreshadowing here was a little heavy handed...

>>214243283
is the joke here that white women not yelling is a fantastical story? i admit i didn't catch that, but i guess if the humor here was meant to be absurd and not observational and incisive, then it might work.
though to be honest i don't think he meant for his joke to be fantastical and absurd and he actually thought it was observational humor, and you're most likely a niggerloving cocksucker

>>214242879
Have you guys seen what has been reported to be Chris's "Nightmare Board"? It is mostly Metallica lyrics scratched into a sheet of diamond plate with a steak knife, but the interesting part is the back side of the board. It has wrist straps and fingerpainted in dried bbq sauce is the simple phrase "NO MORE". It was his shield against his horrible reality.

>>214243362
>wow, is that a skull there on the TV? heh, that's scary...
>makes me think of death...
>anyway...

>>214242142
Literally, literally…. I know this guy was completely right about everything but what the fuck? Why was he such a bootlicking coplover? Why did he have it out for Chris so badly? He had no idea what was going on, and was gaslighting police into thinking his neighbor MURDERED HIS FAMILY which he did and the neighbor was totally right but principally this fat fucking neighbor is in the wrong. Keep your mouth shut wtf? Imagine if Chris didn’t do it but went away anyway because of that red hat fuck.

>>214243362
All praise to The Most High- the wicked shan’t prevail!

>>214243533
You think having a sixth sense that some monster killed 2 innocent children and his wife is some personal vendetta? You seem way to empathetic to Chris- I’ve always suspected a lot of the users on here admire Chris and want to do what he did but get away with it and this post cements it

>>214243533
Wait a sec I'm confused. Was Shannan's friend that was supposed to go to her appointment with her the Limp Bizkit neighbor's wife?

>>214242142
>>214242255
lol

>>214242779
or perhaps getting caught was part of his plan.

>>214243303
>I helped MAKE those kids
the most robotic line possible

>>214243584
Shannan mentioned the appointment to Nikole as Nikole was driving her home from the airport. Then the next morning Nikole calls the doctor's first thing when Shannan is missing and immediately discovers Shannan is very likely dead, a moment in which Chris parallels Light Yagami doxxing himself as being in a particular region of Japan

>>214243581
I’m not having sympathy for Chris you midwit, this is a hangup about principles. Even IF the dude was right about Chris he’s still in the wrong for gaslighting police against his neighbor when he didn’t know which way was up one way or the other. He was just like, “The girls are gone, I think it was Chris, Mr. Police, fuck him.” Just fucking bizarre and wrong. This guy coming after Chris so vehemently with nothing to go on and even the police are defending Chris at this point in the documentary is just as wild to me as the oily fetus on screen.
Why did red hat neighbor do it? Explain it to me.

>>214243362
Kino mise en scene

>Shannan is not answering her phone in the morning
>Better call the police immediatly

What was up with Shannan's friend? I think she called cops without even calling Chris first, has she always suspected him?

How do you think his mistress lives with herself knowing children died because of how good her butthole is?

>>214243710
I heard he did it all for the nookie.

>>214243706
>>214243710
I meant was Nicole this guys wife
>>214242142

>>214243744
Shananananananan couldn't spend for than 5 minutes off social media so it was massively out of character for her

Why yes officer, I'd love a polygraph test

>>214242142
Why does a grown man with a family and house still dress like he's 15?

that's Nate Trinastich, he's completely separate from the Watts and Nikole, he's just some chud with security cams

>>214243779
>>214243744
Wasn't it a pregnancy appointment because she was having a bit of complications? No woman would no call no show that

>>214242879
>new apple laptop rose gold

I’m Putting on the Tubi Chris doc right now. Kino tome.

>>214243813
I see, because wasn't his fuckin mongoloid lookin son present when Nikole first called the police?

>>214243744
iirc the friend was always leery about chris

>>214242088
He did. Got two abortions, too.

>>214243813
>Nate Tryingtosnitch
I fucking hate that guy even though he was completely right….

>>214243533
Most people don't have such an irrational hate of police that they'll help a man who murdered two children. That's actual nigger behavior.

>>214243847
that was Nikole's son, the low plains shlub is merely a common phenotype in America

>>214243533
you must go back

>>214243887
>they'll help a man who murdered two children
You disingenuously ignored my point. Yeah the guy HAPPENED to be right and it all HAPPENED to work out because they caught him, but for all the wrong reasons. The neighbor didn’t witness any murderers, at that point the girls were missing and the guy is frothing at the mouth telling police it was totally Chris. That’s just fucking insane to me.

>>214243919
ahhahahahahahaha

>>214243068
She was a gsg chud.

>>214243710
Well buddy he was Chris’s neighbor and had a clear rapport with Shanan- guys like Chris don’t just murder people they show signs well beforehand and the neighbor is clearly astute and had him pegged because any man with a family of his own is always taking notice of his surroundings particularly the men in his neighborhood to gauge if they’re threats or not- the way Chris was acting and how the story didn’t add up was a dead giveaway to what was most likely previously established abnormal behaviour

Why wouldn’t he tell the cops he’s suspicious of a guy who might have MURDERED HIS FAMILY? He’s thinking about his own wife and kids and the rest of the neighborhood- you don’t want that dude around if you have a hunch-

>>214243921
what does soi milk have to do with that post? are you a triggered cop? I don’t get it

>>214243700
as a person who's cousin is a lawyer and forensic police officer, legally speaking, this would have gotten Chris free 100%, it's totally bulletproof. we're lucky we got to him in time before he could finalize his plan

>>214243111
chris was extremely meek. arguing with his wife about his affair, and the topic of separation, probably fried his brain and he just went with a vague idea of ridding himself of the problem

>>214243919
>>214243931
Wait then why the fuck is Nikole's mongo son just enter the neighbors house like it's no big deal?

>>214243928
>where'd those kids go
>Chris is standing there with two kid sized oil drums
Damn I wonder how he figured it out

>>214243008
I’ean… they were just nice as can be

..i’ean

>>214243940
IF IF the neighbor had more to go on sure. But he didn’t. He was standing with the cops and when Chris went into the other room he was like BRO HES GUILTY HES LIKE, BEING NERVOUS HE DID IT. If the guy had said “these last few weeks I’ve seen some strange occurances and fights at this house and abusive behavior by Chris, FINE, but he was just like HE DID IT BECAUSE… HE DID. I’ll never not be mad at that guy who was completely fucking right and sussed that weirdo out immediately, it was just bullshit.

>>214242779
he lucked out being in one of the few cities without an active volcano nearby
i blame neglegent city planning

>>214243940

Killing your two daughters who think you are their hero, and desire nothing in the world from you other than to know you love them over some beat up Colorado granola bitch.

>>214243928
Holy shit just shut the fuck up you autistic cunt

>>214242888
And that is somehow worse than losing your freedom and liberties until death? Chris didn't really think this through did he

>>214243986
I don't really get the confusion. Nikole showed up, her son came along with her for some unknown reason. Her son was the one to mention that the middle-aged broseph had security cameras and that's how he became involved. I don't really know the fucking rules for how that works trespassing wise? Can the police just invite whoever the fuck they want into your house?

Also YouTube comments will say that the son was there so that Chris wouldn't kill Nikole... which might be true but can't help but laugh at the image of Chris strangling the little nugget lmao

>>214244086
>freedom
>liberty
What is this 1890?

>>214244086
t. single

>>214242879
>I AM ME
Lol

>>214243928
>yes he was right but you should stonewall the police and do your best to aid the child murderer!
I bet you leap to the defense of every nigger in handcuffs. Online of course.

>>214244099
also sorry for the unnecessary swears

>>214244070
>stop talking about the show we’re talking about
no

>>214244099
I dunno they must all be extremely close because I grew up in the subburbs and was best friends with the kid next door and even then I wouldn't just enter there house without knocking to check shit out like this

>>214244127
He wasn’t a child muderer at that point, he was a neighbor with his family missing. What you’re saying doesn’t make sense. They didn’t know he killed the family until he confesses.

that kino 3 hour lie detector test vid where she basically just says "yeah you lied"

>>214243940
>current wife: social media obsessed karen
>secret mistress: going hiking outdoors

She's cute, ngl. Completely mogs Shannon

>>214244086
>And that is somehow worse than [the exact same shit]?

>>214242142
Come on.

>>214243362
>>214243008
What is with you zoomers and wanting to make identical fucking threads and replies for years.

The forciest of forced memes. “Am I doing 4chan now” you sure are little zoomer maybe you’ll be a big boy one day.

>>214244219
Almost justifies the murder of the wife.

>>214244178
>you don't know that I had anything to do with this
>now, please help me drag these bags to my truck

>Bitch thought I was joking when I said till death do us part
based, divorce is a sin

>oh thank god, this will give us something to go on
part 2 was all the paranormal stuff
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-LJBzVfNZ0

>>214243798
polygraphs don't work and are not admisible in court

>>214244174
Nikole was Shanann's best friend, and even if she weren't, are you just going to stand outside and tell the police you're going to wait there? if a pregnant woman is missing who really cares about social sensibilities

>>214243068
he just wanted the Sudetenland, is all.

>>214244178
Bro they had just watched security footage of him loading lots of suspicious shit into his truck before dawn and nobody else coming or going the entire day. You'd be retarded not to strongly suspect Chris at that point no matter whether he'd given you reason to distrust him in the past. It's crazy that Chris didn't immediately jump in his truck and make a break for it the moment that cops left him alone after that.

>>214244253
it's very pathetic that you take pride in using this website

>>214243940
>be stuck with psycho wife that MBPs your children
>none have any respect for you
>meet pretty young woman who lets you mine her dirt tunnel for ore and wants to go hiking with you
Option A: murder family, go to prison, lose girlfriend
Option B: leave wife, move to mexico with girlfriend, live on a beach and coat your penis in her faecal glue every day

>>214244320
theres no fuckin way theyd be able to get any sort of baseline from him to actually conduct one
like, even if his family was just missing, that'd be more than enough stress to make doing one pointless

>>214244052
Dude I just answered the question with objective logic and reasoning and you’re still scrambling to make chris a victim- in just going to assume you don’t have women or children you genuinely care about or if you do you wish to do harm to them like Chris- or your just autistic.

Either way Chris got caught because of his own evil and stupidity and nothing will change that

>>214244204
She's gorgeous...

>>214244360
Chris is a retard and the girlfriend got all hot and bothered by the idea of him murdering his family for her. She was in the vicinity of the house that night.

>>214244368
>even if his family was just missing, that'd be more than enough stress to make doing one pointless
correcto

>>214244196
According to google polygraph tests are reliable so I don't get why they used one in the first place.

these threads will never get old, how long have they been going on ? like two years already, always 100+ replies too

>>214244401
are you saying she remote controlled the murder with her anus?
if so, could she be doing the same to this thread, right now?

>>214244424
To con him into confessing

>>214244428
Look at her face. She knew exactly what she was doing.

>>214244435
ate some chicken nuggets the other day, something I almost never do, and these threads popped into my head and I started laughing while walking down the street.

>>214244457
Perhaps. She may have sucked the soul out of some poor anon with her vise-like colon. He's now doomed to roam this board for an eternity, running cover for the murders.

>>214243747
As she is a woman, she's probably getting wet (in the ass) whenever she thinks about it.

Unfriendly reminder that r*ddit has a whole sub dedicated to hating shanan

>>214244428
tits the size of her head, buttocks each the size of two tits.
he had no chance of escape.

>>214244498
now we know who makes these threads. a colon-controlled coomer

>>214242088
He would be effectively in the same situation he is in now except with having to pay constant child support on 2 kids while upkeeping his former wifes quality of life regardless of how he himself is doing while still outright losing at least half of the value of anything they own and no chance of getting the kids himself

>>214243940
>Why wouldn’t he tell the cops he’s suspicious of a guy who might have MURDERED HIS FAMILY?
if you watch the rest of the body cam footage, the officer tells chris to wait outside and then the neighbor basically goes "yeah he fucking did that shit, he's a weird guy"

>>214244539
>pay a bit of money to never get nugget assaulted by your worthless spawn again
Worth every penny

>>214243940
>any man with a family of his own is always taking notice of his surroundings particularly the men in his neighborhood to gauge if they’re threats or not
these words were typed by an incel with no family

>>214244539
>He would be effectively in the same situation he is in now
His finances would be fucked but he could at least be a free man and be boning his girlfriend instead of his cellmate.

>>214244582
yeah, the amount of normalcy bias people have is amazing

>>214244539
>no chance of getting the kids himself
After watching the documentary I think it's clear he didn't love the kids that much to begin with.

How's he doing in prison? I heard he was having the time of his life

>>214244628
Indeed

>>214244628
He's a full on booty warrior with the small group that won't just straight up murder him

>>214244656
Is sex between inmates actually banned? Why? Isn't that kind of homophobic? Specially if they consent.

>>214244685
it's a lie to try to discredit him.
he's visited by his girlfriend every other day and he lays a gas pipeline directly into her deposit every time.
one guard said:
>it sounds like a paramedic trying to resuscitate a whoopee cushion, and smells like the river ganges. it went on for 45 minutes last time

>>214243700
I read this in Santa's voice. I’m sold

I know they have Internet in prison, I wonder if Chris watches the YouTube documentaries about him?

>>214242240
Like another anon said, lawyer the fuck up and say nothing to anyone.

no body no evidence no conviction

all he had to do is bury them in the desert somewhere and he'd be clear
yeah everyone would know he did it but he'd be free

>>214244539
this. I don't blame him for what he did
>>214244608
it was still worthy. He killed that emasculating, nagging and hypocritical bitch. He did the whole world a favor

>>214243864
*3

>>214245029
He had to lawyer up immediately and say nothing. He would've been grilled but if he held up, he would've gotten away with it.

>>214242879
she deserved it

>>214242779
>what the fuck was he thinking?
Nothing. He's an 85 IQ borderline retard who got so far in life by following standard behavior scripts he got from other people or media, once he got himself into a situation that required a measure of actual intelligence it all came crashing down.

It really was stupid to put them there at his work site. Wasn't he in Colorado? Maybe drop em in the river? A nearby lake?

>>214245029
the volcano plan was genius actually

is anal sex with women really that good that makes you kill your own kids?

>>214245106
KEK

>>214241980 (OP)
Chris Watts honestly had no choice. Put yourself in his shoes. his girlfriend would literally spread her big brown poop hole and get it nice and stretched out so he could lube his weiner up with her butt cream and she would plop it down on that weiner and ride it till it made a fart vacuum in her butt cavity that literally would suck the sperm juice from his balls. He was so ass drunk after that he killed his family with his smelly poop wiener in his pants

>>214245168
yes. but only if she has a really big dick and you suck it for a while first to have a taste for it

>>214243362
What did God mean by this?

>>214245168
Ironically if he had just followed his rectal dreams he wouldn't have kids to kill...

>>214243362
what did God mean by this

>>214242240
Just withdraw as much cash as you can and flee to south east Asia

>>214245123
a volcano perhaps

>>214245270
humiliation ritual

10/10 Chris thread. Worthy of my rarest Chris.

>>214245302
Exactly

>>214245344
>the bum maker
What did he mean by this?

>>214245344
post more rare watts

>>214245344
sliced bread

>>214242240
Shannann was a psycho, if Chris didn't kill the girls and wasn't retarded he could've made the self-defense case work. Once the jury saw her social media posts there was no way they would convict him

>>214245349
Why do women say incredibly cruel shit and then act shocked when their husbands want to kill them?

Chris and his family are retarded

>>214245349
Kids could probably tell daddy was a psychopath, sadly mom couldn't.

>>214245355
CECE WAS A BUM

>>214245438
They're self-absorbed creatures and usually get away with it.

Chris! What is best in life??

This shit was sad but I just watched the Abducted in Plain Sight where the dumbass mormon parents let the pedo sleep with their daughter.
Mormons are retarded.

Also Chris was a low iq brute who worked oil field and let his wife do the finances because he was too stupid to math.
Never let your woman handle the finances.

>>214244428
Was she involved?

>>214245518
All he wanted was to pump oil and fuck ass.

>>214245468
they were the psychopaths assaulting a defenseless man after a long hard day of work he did to provide for them

>>214245518
>Never let your woman handle the finances.
It's pretty clear that she was ~80 IQ too. They were both retards.

>>214245468
I honestly don't think he's a psychopath. He's just retarded.

>>214245546
Exactly

>>214245552
He dismembered his little girls and threw them in an oil tank. He was absolutely a psycho.

>>214245552
Murdering your own children goes quite far beyond being retarded, not saying he isn't a fucking idiot as well, he is for sure.

>>214245544
Where did it say his gf let him fuck her in the bootyhole

>>214245552
Nah, you don't murder your own kids and then put them in oil tanks if you aren't a psychopath

>>214242088
too much hassle

>>214245494
To crush your wife and children, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of Cece.

>>214241980 (OP)
killed his family for anal sex

>>214245599
>Murdering your own abusers
fixed
we don’t victim blame here

>>214245349
>this time I'm really gonna do it

Why does this case fascinate /tv/ so much

>>214245591
>>214245599
>>214245626
Fair points, I have changed my mind.

>>214245552
This. Most people in his situation would do the same thing, if they weren't smart enough to realize the consequences

>>214245552
he let his kid sit in the car watching him stuff the other kid into a drum

>>214245693
It's too bad women are attracted to evil men because they're confident and exciting, especially when the children are the ones who pay the price.

>>214244253
My threads are doing iron man numbers and you're jealous.

>>214245668
it’s a miscarriage of justice

>3 free trials

they didn't tell him?

>Afraid of being lonely all your life so you get married to have a family
>Family because a massive pain in your ass and your either forced to stay silent until you die or leave them and lose most of your possessions

Fuck, the duality of man in this modern world is terrible

>>214245717
How did they know?

>>214241980 (OP)
So who really did it? It was ghosts, right? Maybe demons

>>214245680
lmfao

>>214242779
It was probably a spur of moment raged-induced violence. When you're in that state, you act on pure instinct don't really think. Some people are more vulnerable to it.

>>214245674
Where is this from?

>>214245784
Ghosts are still haunting him

>>214242088
He wasn't going to have those kids growing up without a father

>>214242463
I am curious now, seconding that request

>>214245811
I can get that with his wife but he methodically and patiently killed his children.

>>214245784
Chris is taking the fall for a demon, probably in exchange for freeing Shanaan's soul from Hell

>a couple where both partners are 80iq with absolutely no financial sense and 2 kids can live in a fucking McMansion in the Colorado suburbs on 1 income in America
how the fuck do people even manage to be poor in this country

>>214245806
stop hahaha

>>214245811
Plus he built up hate towards his wife for so long and never showed any of it. He always acted like everything was fine but deep down I bet he was raging.

>>214243647
Or perhaps he was thinking why would you shoot your wife and children before throwing them off a volcano.

>>214245673
If you're sufficiently dull then you don't ever reach the state of sonder. Other people in your life are just cardboard cutouts that exist when you interact with them. Like when very young children are shocked to learn their teachers don't sleep at the school. Chris may not have had the mental capacity to think of other people as actually being people, like many retards.

>>214245806
him leaving the dog alive proves it was a self defense situation

>>214245717
>someone's thrivin

>>214245813
https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/5219206-Christopher-Watts-REDACTED-FINAL/
Essential reading for every Christorian

>>214245221
>look at the heckin TV ad, God was interfering with le satellite waves to send a sign!
>but didn't interfere when the literal babies were getting choked to death hours prior

If your God exists he's the ultimate troll

>>214245892
>Brown bikini
jesus christ

>>214245422
>The last thing on earth is for you to hurt (some would call this forgetting a word, but I call it "foreshadowing")
>You deserve the world
>I don't like when you hurt
>It hurts me
>I can't and won't lose you without fighting for "us"
>I will always fight for our marriage and you
>This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through
>You are worth it
I can't fathom how women write shit like this and they don't see it as constantly making small jabs. I thought they were supposed to be the socially clever ones?
>raised by controlling mommy
>wife uses reverse psychology
>calls you a fucking tool
>handincookiejar.png
>break down immediately
>reveal your side babe and her awesome Baja Butthole Blast
See Shannan almost had it, the fatal error was pussy-footing around the affair instead of directly engaging. It gives a stupid person like Chris the belief he had an out, so he pushed on to the very last moment, and once his monkey brain had 0.1 seconds to realize he actually had zero control, he fucking snapped

>>214245745
how about a
>what happens here?
caption?

What is this expression trying to convey?

>>214245892
I’m bout to kill my wife and two retarded kids bros

What is his estimated IQ?

>>214245855
They were leveraged up to their fuckin eyeballs and Chris worked a very demanding job for like 80 hours a week. Shannon (I will not type out her fake ass non-name) might have brought a little to the table with her pyramid scheme but it's safe to say after taxes they were making it work in about 90k USD a year. Which is to say, they owned nothing.

Chris Watts is the reason I'm never getting married ever

>>214245895
wtf is this real

>>214245892
He thought no matter what he does he can't have this bitch because through divorce he will be broke. He took out his frustration on his poor wife and kids. Sick motherfucker. Should have just fucked this dumb hoe until he got bored of her.

>>214245924
Chris used his free will to slay 3 evil demons

>>214245873
Was getting caught part of his plan?

>>214245745
>>214245591
he really did all that for this chick?

>>214245549
where the fuck does this "pretty princess" shit come from, was gen X truly this poisoned by toylines

>>214245943
Pre or post absorbing his family's essential vitae?

>>214245995
He was literally ass drunk

>/tv/ still going on about this guy
it's been 7 years brehs. We need a new lolcow killer to ruminate on surely. every thread is the same posts

>>214245995
Women never mature

>>214245993
This is an unfair characterization of events. Chris did everything right, mathematically there was no other sequence of events that could occur.

>>214245549
Social media killed those kids

>>214241980 (OP)
Legitimately why would you stuff someone into a oil drum alive?

>>214245892
>>214245977
He was going to be broke either way. See >>214245948. Shannan would have been too. A divorce would have no downsides to him especially because he didn't care about his kids either. Any child support payment would be laughably low and he could choose to basically never see them

>>214245993
Nah he is just low IQ, probably around 85.

>>214242879
>Chris to Retire

>>214246026
I do wonder why Chandler Halderson didn't catch on. Shit was 10x as insane and at least twice as memeable.

>>214245552
He isn't a psycho, or at least he didn't start as one. He was a kind weak-willed man who let Shannon boss him around for years, slowly killing his self esteem and empathy. But the door mat guys always seethe deep inside, for him the seething eventually reached a breaking point.

>>214245970
Ethiopian Airlines Flight 961
It got hijacked but the pilot was kept alive, he ultimately took control of the plane while the terrorists were beside him and tried to ditch the plane.
125 / 175 dead, including crew and terrorists

>>214245995
>gen X
They were both Millennials.

>>214245993
He's a big guy

>>214244253
what's up Chris

>>214246045
his marriage must have been stressful as fuck, he looks like he served two terms

>>214242992
>confidentially
oh wow he was doing it secretly, he was coming out of his bedroom secretly?

>>214245369
>Mowing the lawn in flip-flops

He truly was psychotic.

>>214246067
Interesting fact, most died because they inflated their vests inside the plane and drowned. That's why they explicitly tell you to wait.

>>214246102
>waaah why doesn't he read my mind
why are all women like this

>>214246102
Dude just had to fuck his wife. How hard was that. She wasnt ugly.

>>214245717
Knowing what evil he did with those muscles makes my butthole quiver

>>214245855
They were heavily in debt and about to lose the house, though partly it was because his wife invested into some financial scam

>>214245995
another retard blaming the victim

>>214246122
Because they want to be pursued. What's bullshit is when they act like this counts as initiating sex.

Check 'em

>>214246154
loooool

>>214246122
>>214246195
Youre retarded chuds that cant tell when a woman wants your dick.

>>214246130
I think it's because she was clearly wearing the pants in the relationship and he didn't want to be told what to do like a dog

Why is young Chris giving off Bateman vibes?

>>214246130
she was an annoying bitch and made a mockery of him online for a dopamine rush

>>214245393
>>214242240
>Shannann was a psycho, if Chris didn't kill the girls and wasn't retarded he could've made the self-defense case work.
No way. They always look at the spouse first for homicides/missing persons. Chris would have to have a shit ton of knowledge about criminal investigations, a 40 point IQ increase, planned this crime out thoroughly, and had help from other people.

You can't get away with murder these days in the modern surveillance/high-tech/forensics state unless the victim is practically invisible to begin with and poor, AND you're almost a genius.

>>214244325
lol

>>214245168
Listen bud, there's two things in this world any man would kill for.
1. Anal sex
2. A million dollars
Anal works much different from regular sex, the butt cavity creates a space vacuum when you thrust inside it, in laymen terms you create a hands free self sucking force inside the butt hole, this is what makes men Ass Druk.

>>214245651
kek
>>214245668
It’s basically a modern day IRL Lynchian kino. An average mundane couple living in their “idyllic” yet visually depressing neighborhood. An oppressively nagging wife. A dimwitted unassuming husband. Two insatiable screaming children. Nothing out of the ordinary yet underneath hides a dark secret involving pyramid schemes, chicken nuggets, murder, infidelity, sexual perversion and an interest in the distance to the moon. It has equal parts horror and comedy, tragedy and blandness. It also helps that there’s footage from the beginning to the end of the case which makes it easily digestible.

>>214246192
>"why did she pretend she was a princess"
>"SHE DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE, ASSHOLE"

>>214246238
he looks like Joseph Levitt Huwett

>>214243395
You must be German

>>214246228
he was done with that pig and had a new hot piece of ass

>>214245993
>Murder your wife late at evening or during the night
>Her friends calls cops in the morning because Shannan wasn't answering her phone

Chris didn't expect people to start looking for her wife so soon that's why he called daycare and didn't get rid of the phone

>>214245924
>>214245924
>didn't interfere when the literal babies were getting choked to death
It's part of his plan

First response to cuffs, it only took real police 2 days to crack the case, how many minutes would it take for Columbo to speedrun it?

>>214246267
>he really did all that for this chick?
CHRIS WAS ASS DRUNK YOU INSENSITIVE PIECE OF SHIt

>>214246271
Is the joke here that Germans don't have a culture of negro worship?

>>214246305
If there is a God and he follows the Abrahamic canon closely enough then he basically orchestrated a one way ticket to heaven and eternal bliss for the girls (he could do nothing for Shanan)

>>214244253
>Haglenial complains about shit he did himself 7 years ago

Kill yourself legitimately

>>214245668
I find the Jonbenet case way more interesting to discuss but I don't know what jokes people would have besides it being obviously done by two Puerto Rican men. The Watts case is exactly what you SHOULDN'T do. Casey Anthony was as dumb as Chris but still somehow managed to serve only 10 days in jail lol

>>214246337
Columbio would sympathize and help Chris get away

>>214246354
they’re in hell getting ass blasted by spicy hot nuggets

>>214246254
This guy knows what he's talking about

>>214246395
They're still haunting the house

>>214246300
>kills wife at 6 am
>cops start calling you at 11 am
Kek

>>214242879
>dream boards
These are always so sad. In the time it took to make this, she could've accomplished a lot of those. Most of those sayings don't have any goal, just meaningless phrases. There's probably only 5 goals on the whole board.

>>214246423
what's the vid?

>>214246437
youtube.com/watch?v=pMER3Zf3r-o

>>214246444
>737,100
>What is this number?
Unintentional comedy

>>214246423
also the camera that caught watts loading truck also recorded a shadowy woman entering the house days later but that footage was never released

>>214246254
isnt there shit in there?

>>214246444
Yo that's freaky as hell, my buddy lives like a mile away

>>214246499
that's a man on a mission
a mission to plow ass

>>214246507
There will always be e coli so you can get a uti. If she doesnt eat and cleans out well there will be nearly zero shit. You wont see it but it will still be there.

>>214246444
600k to live in a haunted house filled with nugget throwing ghosts? no thanks

>>214246435
>tfw your four-year-old has realistic planning skills than you

>>214246507
we call that brown matter

>>214246549
what the hell is that hanging? the flag of ISIS?

>>214246444
>estimated $740k
pffft hahah wtf

>>214246577
definitely some dumb bitch flag shanigger bought

>>214246473
big if true

>>214246577
Looks like this but for whatever his local niggerball team is.

>>214246444
I get that it’s 4000sf but how the fuck did this cookie cutter shitbox in the literal middle of nowhere gain nearly 25% of its value in the last 2 years?

>>214243008
>…barrels?

>>214246633
California moving to Idaho and Colorado. Chris probably bought it for 400k or less.

>>214246633
Childless true crime women who want to adopt the ghosts.

>>214245221
God's gotten lazy af in his old age. We're a long way from the burning bush days

>>214246633
You can turn it into a airbnb that women want to visit and stay in the murder house and get soaking wet

>>214245680
This is how AI gets us.

>>214246666
Nice milkers. He gave that up for a side hoe

>>214243533
>gaslighting police into thinking his neighbor MURDERED HIS FAMILY
>which he did
limp bizkit was right
chris was wrong
now he rots in jail forever

>>214244060
Lucked out means getting lucky, Ranjeet
Your statement implies the opposite

I appreciate that English idioms can be hard to get when you're ESL

>>214246710
Chris has learned his lesson about ass succubi, I hope.

>"well, we just need to file some paperwork back at the station, but it's going to take a while, y'know, it's like a barrel of monkeys in there"
>"or a barrel of daughters"
>"what?"
>"what?"

>>214246754
every time he sees a man bend over in the shower he swears he can see Nichol's butthole beckoning him

was it ever explained how come they were rich af
huge mansion
brand new cars
and yet they were brain dead white trash
?

>>214245106
my favourite

>>214246754
I’m afraid the anal incubi have gotten their claws into our boy

>>214246507
Not right now there's not

>>214246731
>Cobra tatoo
>Not a G.I. Joe tattoo

You could tell he was the bad guy

>>214245349
>Bella looking straight into the camera
she didn’t deserve this

>>214246816
Oil field pays well. They usually work 60 to 90 hours a week and most of that is overtime. Can easily clear 100k.

>>214246816
They were in a lot of debt. Despite what you may have been told it is possible to make decent money in the US even if you're a retard. Those types of jobs tend to be difficult and involve a lot of hours though.

Whats this about nuggets? Pls spoon feed me

>>214246902
so he really liked to drill those holes in search for black gold

>>214246058
That case was pretty crazy, but there's not as much footage and the media didn't focus on it much.

>>214245892
the lighting on these photos is terrible lmao

>>214243147
He mentally breaks from something, straw that broke the camels back is an apt saying, kills his wife and kids, and the realization of what hes done is present along with the realization that his stressors are now gone as well. Which would lead him to a more catatonic state where he no longer cares much at all shown by a token attempt at getting away with it

>>214245349
>>214245438
that isn't a normal thing to say. she wasn't normal, the only reason she wasn't picked apart as a villain is because the crime was so bad the media couldn't say anything against her.
she was baron munchausing the children frequent and invasive unnecessary medical procedures. and was training the children to disrespect their father.
it sounds like "narcissistic family" from what I've read very recently, thanks to an anon the other day. she was the narcissist, and warped everyone around her so the focus was all on her. ridiculibg and undermining him for everything, no matter how small. every opportunity to reduce him and inflate herself.
he should have dumped her, taken his girlfriend to a third world tropical country and opened a bar or something like happened in every 80s film. name 12 it didn't happen in.

>>214246940
his kids used to tie chris up after work and torture Chris and humiliate him guantanamo bay style and one of their favorite methods was a mock firing squad where they pelted him with a barrage of chicken nuggets

>>214243584
Nah the dude is just his neighbor who also has a security cam that can see into watts driveway therefor video of watts taking a heavy bag or two into his truck and coming back later without them to then report his kuds not going to school anymore

>>214246940
The Watts children were fed a steady diet of tendies and often would throw them at Chris, increasing his resentment for his life.

>>214242779
It would be pretty hard to get away with killing your wife and kids even if you were a genius
You’re automatically the prime suspect

>>214247065
>>214247147
I see.
Did the tendies make him do it?

>>214243111
>stressed induced senility
Probably dead on here, anon.
>>214243147
Stress is serious shit, can be debilitating. But if you quit your job, you might be even more stressed from lack of income, lack of progress, missed opportunities, etc. Tricky world we live in. Sometimes I wish we were back in hunter-gatherer times, but picking up in your 30s-40s and doing that alone now doesn't seem workable, not by yourself without a real village type community.

>>214246940
chris would show up at work with black eyes, saying that “he fell”
in really the injuries were from repeated projectile chicken nugget blunt force trauma

>>214247201
that and his mistress getting him highly intoxicated on anal

>>214244374
>scrambling to make Chris a victim
you just made this up we’re not talking about Chris, this is a trolley situation kind of

>>214246118
I'd have expected most to have died from hitting the water at 150mph and the plane exploding, as shown in the picture.

>>214247240
This could be evidence on appeal

>>214246130
he was hen-pecked by a deranged narcissistic personality disorder cunt that turned his children against him and constantly mocked him.

>>214245270
>Now try to harm daddy!
Like?? lol

Chris was destined to be a loner or at best a DINK but the only way he could access sex was to settle down... Fucking gynocracy strikes again.

>>214243283
what no everyone assumes they are telling the truth. if they want to tell a funny thing that didn't happen to them they don't frame it as a true story. it sounds like you're a pathological liar and projecting

>>214246761
kek

>>214246337
>ahh there is just one more thing before I go, mister wotz
yes, what is it? I have a rather important meeting with a rectal cavity this afternoon
>well, it's just what you said before -
what was that, come on man, spit it out
>ah yes sorry sir, just that thing you said about how you killed your wife and kids and put them in oil drums and chicken nuggets, didn't it seem odd to you that when you killed your wife and kids and you more or less confessed to it, that they then turned up missing only half an hour later
i don't see what your babbling on about, if I don't fill my mistress' bunghole this afternoon she won't let me sniff her guffs, do you know how much I pay for her fermented goulash protein shakes to ensure those guffs are first rate?
>ah no sir, my wife tends to be the one dealing with the food in my house, I have to admit I'm not much of a cook.
well then that was all quite fascinating but if you don't mind I really must be going
>I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to stay for just a little longer. you see, brilliant though your plan was, you forgot one tiny detail. you forgot to not confess and video the whole thing then live stream it to your neighbour and workplace
i see. well it looks like I'll be missing those goulash guffs afterall; shall we, inspector?
>it's detective, sir.

>>214247240
damn

>>214243971
i'm his couson (happily married so don't be silly boys :)) and i can confirm this is true

>>214247240
free chris
he really had no choice.

>>214247603
hey I don't nothing by it but y'all wanna get sone coffe I need legel adfise.
thanks you

>>214245924
yes and we call him the demiurge good job on finding out for the first time

>>214246816
they werent lol. they were the average american family over-leveraged and up to their eyes in debt all to maintain appearances and treat themselves with a life they think they deserve.

>>214247594
>>214246337

>>214247901
how does an average american family earn 90k a year. do they hand out 1k per iq point in the US?

>>214244338
The neighbor was already gung ho before they looked at the footage. He was like I HAVE FOOTAGE I HAVE FOOTAGE like a weirdo, not knowing what it would show. The girls could have gotten eaten by wolves for al anyone knew.

>>214247330
i guess that's why it's an interesting fact? i don't know i'm not that anon

>>214248109
They make 90k because someone like Chris is probably grossing 95k and his wife is grossing about 30k

>>214244790
I kekd.

>>214247786
no problem

>>214248173
I make about 10k and my iq is nearly double his. I really don't know how I've gone so wrong in life. I didn't even manage a wife or children, so no possibility to kill them either. life's just passed me by.
did I accidently miss the main quest in the beginning of the game?

>>214248245
thanks you for your sarives