Can you imagine being a Metal Gear fan, let alone a Kojima fan?

>>714619231 (OP)
at least he wasn't named "little boy"

hey man I saw the orc memes too
didnt feel to make a thread about it tho

>>714619231 (OP)
Fatman is an IRL bomb.

>>714619231 (OP)
kino

literally the coolest shit ever

>>714619231 (OP)
Yeah, I replayed MGS3 a few days ago and I liked it even more than I expected.

>>714619231 (OP)
he paints his nails btw.

>>714619231 (OP)
Do they ever detail his weight? Could be lanky with a rigid bomb suit. Raiden was able to drag his body off of the final bomb pretty easily.

>>714619439
He's an artist

>>714619231 (OP)
>Twitter user feels attacked over a fat joke
so it's a day that ends in "-y"

>>714619231 (OP)
He has beautiful hands.

>>714619231 (OP)
well duh how are you supposed to drink from the glass with a bomb suit collar in the way?

>>714619231 (OP)
Better character than anyone in DS1-2. Laugh and grow fat.

>>714619461
Look at those fucking bulldog cheeks man that dude is definitely in the 300+ range

>>714619439
Him and Razorfist, why the fuck are anti-Kojima fags so fruity?

>>714619231 (OP)
don't like this prick's tone.

>>714619571
Razor takes it up the ass

>>714619231 (OP)
He was obviously a strongman underneath the outfit. Seek help.

>I'm here in the ruins of Orc City

>man who pays for Twitter mad that no one takes his novella seriously

>>714619571
>both fags
>both failed writers

For real though, Fatman is my favorite lesser villain in the series.

>>714619564
He just mewed a lot

LAUGH AND GROW FAT

>>714619682
>orc wars
keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

>>714619231 (OP)
fatman is the best character in 2

>>714619231 (OP)
You will never roller-blade around.

>>714619231 (OP)
>make something cool
>chuds get mad
Why are they like this?

>>714619580
just wait until you read his books

>>714619682
>its ruin was overseen by the architect of its very destruction

>>714619862
Genuinely might be one of the worst sentences I've ever read.

>>714619796
even when i was little i was afraid of snapping my ankles with rollerblades

>twitter engagement
>comes here to post his garbo

i just what it to stop

>>714619231 (OP)
>whenever someone glazes Kojima, remember he once made something cool
Okay? I'm sorry am I meant to prefer something more "grounded" and "realistic" as if written by Neil Druckmann because a fat man called Fatman because he likes bombs and who rolls around in rollerblades while sipping wine and magdumping his Glock isn't le serious enough? God do I fucking hate Twittards

>>714619682
no idea who douglas is

>>714619682
>>714619848
>wars in orc land are called orc wars
>wars in elf land are called elf wars
so, what does this guy call the wars in africa

Reminder that Dead Cells also had a chinese kung fu member literally called "Chinaman", sadly his appearance in-game was cut from the final game.

Kojima truly is unfathomably based.

>>714619571
He meant Fatman you fucking retard

>>714620051
african wars?

>>714620051
N

Fat Man is one of the only good things about MGS2 though.

>>714619231 (OP)
>you will never be fat
>you will never rollerblade around
>you will never plant bombs
life is suffering

>>714619378
Played it when I was 10
Metal Gear Sigint made me uncomfortable

>>714619231 (OP)
>bomb disposal suit
>fat man
>japanese creator
Do they not see it?

>>714619682
i'm the elvish king but with jews instead of orcs

>>714620229
2/3 of these seem relatively easy to achieve
i dunno about the planting bombs one but the other two seem entirely in the realm of capability

Fortune was so much worse that I can't believe people get mad about Fatman
>oh no I am so sad I cannot le die
>*attaches magical device that reflects bullets to her outfit*

>>714619231 (OP)
Japs have never been particularly creative when it comes to naming things.

>I'VE KEELED MAH SOUL

>>714619513
He's a performance artist

>>714619231 (OP)
kino overload

>>714619231 (OP)
Ok, he's a nip. It sounds cool to them.

>>714620229
ay look its fat die man
bravo koji kondo

>>714620520
>Japs have never been particularly creative
didn't need any more words than that bro

Gamers
>Consumes the dumbest manchild media ever

Also gamers
>IS THAT A HECKING FAT GUY ON ROLLERBLADES??
>AIIIEEEEEE THIS IS TOO SILLY
>IM BEING REMINDED VIDEO GAMES ARE DUMB
>SAVE ME NIGGERDRUCKMANN

>>714619231 (OP)
same voice actor btw

He isn't wearing roller blades, he is wearing inline hockey skates. Fatman being a NHL prospect is part of Kojimas deep lore.

>>714619682
The hottest normie meme of the past day or so, and it's some twitterfag author trying to dunk on a 60 year old westaboo. What a time to be yearning for sweet release from this wretched planet.

For me, it's Running Man

This is nothing new. Kojima gets away with shit that, when other companies do it, sends /v/ into a frothing rage
>half the characters are fags or do fag shit/humor
>his projects are filled hollywood actors
>hour long cutscenes and exposition dumps
>cut out a portion of mgs5 to sell a glorified demo for 30 dollars
>wrote death stranding with anti-trump themes in mind. I mean trump sucks, but /v/ flips the fuck out when ea or ubisoft do the same thing.

>glazes
all the new slang really sucks to be honest

>>714620454
It wasn't the device, she really had powers

>>714619231 (OP)
>Twitterfag doesn't blastmaxx

>>714620454
>*attaches magical device that reflects bullets to her outfit*
She didn't know she had the bullet deflecting gadget on herself.

>>714619231 (OP)
I'm sure if you watch enough anime or japanese movies you'll figure out he stole this exact character from another author. Just like The Boss, Outer Heaven, Les Enfants Terrible, Eva, Revolver Ocelot, Liquid Snake, etc.

>>714620834
It's not very good

>>714619862
read more shit good god

>>714619231 (OP)
le creative dad is too smart for you

>>714619940
read more shit good god

>>714620229
You could do all those things

>>714620825
I'm a Hot Coldman guy myself.

>>714620978
>>714621079
what am i supposed to feel about this weird ass double post

>>714620832
DS1 lets you make your bridges hat red and the white lettering makes it look a bit familiar

>>714619231 (OP)

>>714619231 (OP)
I am a kojima fan, yes
I also hate Fatman, but not the name

>>714619231 (OP)
Maybe Kojima was right and we judged him wrong

>>714621079
pretentiously saccharine slop, but that show was for children

>>714621079
gorilla warfare tier post

>>714619231 (OP)
You have no taste for media if you don't know that Fatman is fucking kino. He's one of the most memorable bosses still talked about today from a game from nearly a quarter century ago that you probably haven't played in 20~ years
>Bald fat fuck
>New Yorker accent
>drinks wine from a straw
>Skates around on rollerblades
>If you get too close to him he just tackles into you and a cartoon sound effect plays
>Kojimbo gives one of the most ridilious bosses in the series one of the absolute hardest themes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvYrg2JGwSQ

>>714619231 (OP)
Kojima doesn't know a lot of english, and when you don't know the language, those word combinations don't sound weird to you.
I don't know japanese, but if I name a character "DragonMan", it would be something like Ryujin in japanese, which doesn't sound bad to me, but perhaps it sounds weird, stupid, badly translated, for a native japanese.

>>714621578
>Ryujin in japanese, which doesn't sound bad to me, but perhaps it sounds weird, stupid, badly translated, for a native japanese
Well, the bad guy of Yakuza 2 is called Ryuji Goda, The Dragon of Kansai

>>714621578
his name are not that stupid. look at Gattaca. Vincent(To conquer) Freeman. A lot of namesi nwesterns media are extremely 'stupid' for the sake of MUH SYMBOLISM.

>>714621578
>Kojima doesn't know a lot of english
Kojima knows plenty of english, he's just bad at speaking it

he also thinks being subtle is for cowards

>>714619231 (OP)
>Retarded twitternigger thinks the guy wearing a heavily padded flak jacket is somehow filling the entire outline
>Retarded twitternigger thinks the seven foot tall cancer survivor is morbidly obese because he doesn't know what we dropped on Japan in WWII

>>714621578
>Ryujin in japanese, which doesn't sound bad to me, but perhaps it sounds weird, stupid, badly translated, for a native japanese.
You'd actually be surprised at how many characters in Japanese media have this type of name. Many protagonists in Japanese vidya, anime, manga, have extremely exotic names because lots of it is a form of escapism to contrast to brutal homogenized culture of daily Japanese life. It's the same reason why they often dress very colorfully and fancy with colored hair.

>>714621578
>when you don't know the language, those word combinations don't sound weird to you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_Man

>he stole the apperance and name of Snake with little to no change

What a genius!

>>714619231 (OP)
Kino

>>714619682
>the ground soaked in a knuckle's depth of blood and ash.
>not the blood and ash of war soaked the land, far too much for the earth to swallow
shoot this idiot.

>>714619231 (OP)
dont forget the part where stillman said he built an atomic bomb at age 10.

>>714621472
It's the general Dead Cell theme thoughbeit, the Vamp and Harrier fights also use it.

Anyone orcpunching their shit rn to orcbrat porn?

>>714619231 (OP)

>>714621876
He's right

>>714622328

>>714622320
Same with Fortune yeah I know. It still plays during his fight and the contrast is hilarious.

>>714622069
What is Plisken was Snake, imagine how much better things could have gone on big shell, how many lives could have been saved.

>>714619231 (OP)
and it was the coolest shit ever. Yell Dead Cell is also one of the best boss themes too. Suck my cock post modern joyless millennial/zoomer faggots

>>714619231 (OP)
This is the epitome of that "literal coolest thing ever and guy points and says 'this thing sucks actually'" picture I don't have saved anywhere

>>714619231 (OP)
Metal Gear Fatman

>>714622979

I don't see the problem with having eccentric characters.

Dead Cell seemed half objectively inferior to every other boss unit in the series. I think like two of them died before the mission and they were carried primarily by Vamp. Vamp's abilities seem broken, but he got CQC'd by Old Snake.

Foxhound seemed overall well-rounded with the best overall lineup.
B&B's tech made them physically overwhelming, but their mental instability limited their potential.
Cobra Unit is mostly just a group of eccentrics. The Fear in particularly was kind of a loser, and The Fury's superpower was owning a jetpack and a flamethrower.

/v/ - twitter reposts.
There is no original content left on this board.

>>714622979

>>714619231 (OP)
>>714619439
He also uses a Glock sideways during the bossfight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dfhf8LrZMI&list=RD-dfhf8LrZMI&start_radio=1

>>714623747
lol

>>714623530
Its really an Ouroboros situation. Ever since Elon introduced the paid bluecheck the whole site is a content farm of stolen reposts and screencaps to farm engagement for ad revenue.
Every single day if you are on /v/ and you see a thread that gets a lot of replies I gurrantee you will see one of the big "Greentext, Shitpost, 4chan" based Twitter accounts screencap and post it and get 10000+ likes within a day.

>>714619682
Did Orc City have cute Orc girls?

>>714620051
African wars.

>>714619231 (OP)
>fat joke and bomb joke
based kojimbo

>shaped like an egg
>named Eggman
>"I am the Walrus, Sonic!"
Bravo, Kojimbo.

>>714623994
The most hype boss song ever made

Kojimas writing was tailor made for Americans

>>714624142
it's all jeets chinks and third worlders. It makes threads gay as fuck since it's all stupid ass:
>Why did x do y? was he stupid?
>Retarded recollection of events, what was his problem?
The issue isn't even those threads, it's the newfag retards who go in there and feed them the replies they are looking for. Honest to God Hiromoot needs to make twittercap images a bannable offense

>>714619231 (OP)
nowadays he'd be called fat thinman

the elvish king elved elvishly: "how much more must my elves elf, how elven? how much more elf must we elf, he elfed.

>>714619231 (OP)
I thought MGS games were meant to be funny?

>>714619231 (OP)
>no fun allowed

>>714619231 (OP)
Probably the hardest boss for me on Extreme

>>714619682
i have never seen "knuckle deep" used for anything not porn

>>714619682
ORCS could be here, thought the elvish king

>>714619231 (OP)
>This was considered morbidly obese in 2001

>>714624653
If MGS2 ever gets remade, they might make him bigger.

>>714619316
The background is rather interesting. They studied a plutonium bomb that functioned the same as Little boy called "Thin man", but the rail system used for that would have made the bomb unfeasibly long. So instead they made a round bomb that initiated the nuclear blast with shaped explosives. Round, therefore "fat".

>>714619682
I went to gay quarter of Orc City and everyone knew OP

>>714619231 (OP)
LAUGH

&

G
R
O
W

F A T

>>714624653
We didn't make the corn syrup swap yet

>>714619231 (OP)
>bomb user named Fatman
>Supernatural luck (fake) lady named Fortune
>Faggot named Vamp
the crazy part is that people think these AREN'T good codenames, like what the fuck do you think codenames are supposed to be? Shakespeare references?

>>714619682
Holy kino

>>714625076
>solid snake
>soliDUS snake
>raiden
What did Kojimbo means by this?

>>714624643
Kek'd

>>714619231 (OP)
he is a bomb expert
fatman is the name of the bomb they droped on japan

makes perfect sense

>>714619439
Why is painting your nails as a dude so common nowadays

Pure, unfiltered KINO that kojima could never even hope to recreate.

>>714619669

>>714625303
It means your branded.

>>714625287
He also built a nuke when he was a little boy.

>>714619231 (OP)
Ya, Metal Gear Solid 1, good game.
Metal Gear Solid 2? Dog shit.

Death Stranding 1? Good game.
Death Stranding 2? Dog shit.

Notice the pattern yet? Good, then the third game will be amazing and then the rest dog shit, as long as its not more Death Stranding, that garbage is dead.

>>714620825
Why did he do pe.

>>714625780
They all dope, he just got caught

>>714619231 (OP)
i fucking hate tourists to the mgs series

>>714625303
Because cracked nails feel bad.

>doesn't understand japanese storytelling and humour
>posts about it anyway
Classic

>>714625987
>t. Lives in MGS series

>>714619231 (OP)
These post modern writer faggots should also be replaced with AI holy fuck
PROMPT PROMPT PROMPT PROMTP PROMPT
BE HOMELESS BE HOMELESS BE HOMELESS

>>714625171
>solidus
>what did kojimbo meanS
Pedro, you need to crack open both a chemistry AND English textbook retard

>>714623747
>>714623405
Thanks guys. That's it.

>>714619231 (OP)

>>714619231 (OP)
Back when he was based and the balance between exposition and cool shit wasn't fucked up. Why? Because half of the exposition dump was about mechs and cool military shit. And because the characters were colorful and coming at me right through the screen. I guess there's some of that in DS but it's drowned with 261894 bunker guys and horrendous delivery ( lol ) speech telling me everything about everything leaving now space for the mystery and imagination work of the player.
I LOVE codecs in mgs1-2-3-4. Even the plane sequences in 4.

Death stranding dialogues and emails put me to SLEEP.
Still love Sam THO

>someome tweets shit about japanese games
>they're a complete literary failure in their own endeavours
every fucking time. first borderlands writers, now Orc City cuck

>>714625423
It's litrpg slop isn't it?

>>714620051
bushkrieg is a pretty cool name if you were to ask me. its just german bascially

>>714619669
>Orcs used to live here, hence the name. Why couldn't they come up with a more unique name? In a way they did. There are no other "Orc Cities". Certainly there are cities with orcs in them, but none of them are THE Orc City. *wipes hair* In fact there is no Orc... City anymore, as this one was destroyed ages ago, in the aftermath of Orc Wars.

>>714626354
Truthnuke
At least mgs is backed up by gameplay that can be fun at times, death stranding is a boring snooze fest in literally every aspect, including gameplay

>>714625303
Gen z is all about gender fluidity or some shit. It’s just a thinly veiled excuse to do some crazy fashion trends. Every generation has some bs excuse to dress weird or do gay out of the ordinary shit to feel different

I CAN'T BELIEVE KOJIMA IS A HECKIN UNWHOLESOME FATPHOBE!!

>>714620229
That's not blood it's actually wine. Also fatman tanked the explosion.

>>714621079
that last bit sounds like a chatbot wrote a shitpost lol

>>714626354
>I LOVE codecs in mgs1-2-3-4. Even the plane sequences in 4.
You don't actually like the games for their stories and presentation, you're just a fanboy.
Liking MGS4's HOURS of meandering dialogue is a sign of terminal fanboyism.

>>714619231 (OP)
>you made a shitty character in the past? that means ALL your characters are shit now. them's the rules

>>714622069
the basic storyline is similar as well if you were to compare it, just the windowdressing is changed and metal gear keeps up with cool shit to not get boring. escape peters out towards the middle end for me. the escape on the street is still cool though with the mines.

>>714626672
Good thing Fatman was not a shitty character
Laugh and grow fat!

>>714619231 (OP)
This is when Kojima had soul and wasn't leeching off of b-list Hollywood stars.

>>714625171
you cant spell solidus without U.S. :)

>>714626497
It's different. It's a build your own fun game in which you can ruin everything by using the tools at your disposal. It's not going all the way out of fear of leaving casuals in the dust.
The last mission of DS asking you to move your ass from the west side to the east side of the country with environmental threats everywhere? That was fun, especially playing offline without shit laying around. Game needed to be twice as hard because in its current state you have to create your own challenges.

Kojima is Bollywood tier but /v/ isnt ready to admit its tsun for Indian media

>>714626593
Being a fanboy for mgs4 after going through mgs1-2-3 by discovering them when they were fresh is a logical development. In retrospect mgs4 is broken having giant chapters barely counting as gameplay but I enjoyed it still. Because it was holding up using the legacy of mgs1-2-3 as support beams.

>>714627017
Kind of agree
If they made bollywood without brown people it might be OK, it's the people that are the problem

>>714625423
>that ridiculously saturated half orc that looks like a photo of an average 18 year old with a green photoshop overlay and drawn 1-dollar halloween fang prostethic
>generic black dragon and statue and epic action pose
>"age of adventures"
This legitimately looks like what would happen if you gave a 15 year old that likes to write fanfiction the means to publish his own fantasy book, and he'd come up with such an EPIC high fantasy story

>>714625171
>>solid snake
>>soliDUS snake
>SolidUS is the US President
It's really that simple. It's so dumb it's clever.
Literary and Chemist fags will tell you its because the word Solidus is Latin for Solid and was the name of the gold coins that Roman soldiers were paid thus being the origin of the word soldier and in Chemistry Solidus is the temperature in between liquid and solid because Solidus was a perfect clone witha perfect mix of Big Boss's dominant and recessive genes in between both Solid Snake and Liquid Snake but that's dumb and obviously made up.

>>714619231 (OP)
MGS2 needs Fat Man. Hes the key to all of it.

>>714621876
>he also thinks being subtle is for cowards
Having read books by Japanese authors I can sort of understand how he might have decided that.

>>714624824
the plutonium gun bomb also literally didn't and couldn't ever work because the enjoined sphere would blow itself to pieces before ever hitting supercritical mass, it almost sunk the entire Manhattan Project as they used more or less all the budget & viable fissile material and if you believe certain schizos effectively did kill it until we stole a shitload of uranium hexafluoride used for gas centrifuge enrichment, a bunch of infrared photofuses as in an implosion bomb and a German expert in their use from a U-boat on its way to Japan plus looting the homework of the main German bomb project under SS auspices- concealed under the irrelevant budget of the Reichspost- with German nuclear scientists that supposedly missed the bare sphere mass for the bomb by an order of magnitude suddenly getting it right more or less instantly and independently under pre-Paperclip US captivity

this is generally sourced from the same persons ringing alarm bells about nazi UFOs ala Joseph Farrel, but the failed US/stolen kraut bomb narrative is pretty cohesive if you either accept or ignore the appended wunderwaffle Weird WW2 autism. Bonus with a belated and far too late Jap test up in Manchuria/far North Korea being a motivator for the Korean War as both alliances try to vaccuum up every bit of atomic intelligence they can.

>>714625076
i never got why he was called vamp

>>714625303
are they?

>>714619682
>TAKE ME DOWN TO THE BURNED ORC CITY
>WHERE THE ASH AND BLOOD MAKE THE GROUND ALL GRITTY
>OOHHHHHH ELVES BUUUURRNNED IT DOOOWWWWWNNNN

>>714621138
Hot Coldman did nothing wrong.
He just wanted to end the cold war and prove that nukes were stupid.

>>714621079
>watched thousands of hours of peak cinema and still has shit taste

>>714619682
>The savage cries of its defenders now silent and still as its ruin was overseen by the architect of its very destruction.

>>714624432
I'm gonna elf myelf off to this notelve ears ohh fuck forgive me elven elves!
I"M ELFING

>>714619231 (OP)
Sounds fun, what's the problem exactly?

>>714619682
i definitely wrote essays like this in high school

>try to shit talk someone
>all of twitter mocks everything you ever wrote
oof, madone

>>714619231 (OP)
>glazes
Is this the new slang term that got trendy? I’ve seen it around a bunch lately.

>>714620051

>>714628329
> Coldman's big idea - "Humans are incapable of destroying themselves?" Turns out he never knew what humans are capable of.

>>714621079
>Wings
Fuckin Quagmire over here.

>>714619682
Can any /lit/ fags give me an autistic breakdown of what makes this “bad” writing? I’m trying to into writing but I don’t fully understand the intricacies of the hobby, if that makes sense. I read, but I don’t know the “rules” of what makes something shitty writing.

>>714628840
>oh no people invent new slang
it just means someone is being a dickrider or a kiss ass, but it can also be used for things instead of just people

>>714620163
Agreed. The stillman fatman arc was actually really kino compared to vamp and fortunes arcs.

>>714619231 (OP)
Kino
Unironically Bravo Kojima, it was the best boss fight in the game

>>714628678
>talk shit
>get hit
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME

>>714629237
>it was the best boss fight in the game
Based Fatman appreciator. I think its one of the most fun boss fights in the series

>>714619231 (OP)
Fat Man…SOVL

>>714621079
>gets mocked
>unironically replies with the navy seals copy pasta

>>714629357
I'm biased because I played mgs1 when I was much younger, but psycho mantis is my pick, although it really only stays true for the first time

>>714620839
That's fucking stupid

>>714629017
>The Orc city
>The Orc Wars
>the elvish king
These are placeholder type names. They revoke any potential attempts at getting the reader invested almost instantly and come across as comical because nobody says "The Human City" or "The Human War".
>The ground soaked in a knuckle's depth of blood and ash.
This really isn't that much of an issue, but consider that this is the second line of the work. The SECOND LINE of your work.
>as its ruin was overseen by the architect of its very destruction.
"The Department of Redundancy Department" is something to always keep in mind when writing. Redundant language like that just makes your work sound retarded, though if I had to put it another way it sounds "chewy". It's a very odd way to describe it, but when I read lines like that, I hang onto them and swirl them around in my head for a time.

It really feels like a work written by someone who envisions their ideal reader as being the type of person to skim over text that isn't dialogue, where description and prose is ancillary to everything else.
Really the big issue is that this tells you nothing about the work itself. It's a generic fantasy setting with orcs and elves I suppose, and there is (or was) a war, but why should I care that much? You don't need your leads here, or any characters at all, but nothing that is written here gets across anything other than
>fantasy races
>fantasy war
>fantasy racism
All of which are the most generic and played out ideas in the fantasy genre.

>>714619682
The funniest part of this guy's writing is that he has a whole glossary of fantasy slurs with shit like "Orcbrat" and "Orcbitch" but the slur for elves is "Spear Ear".
Like the term Knife Ear has been around forever and that's the part where decided he had to be different.

>>714629017
>The Orc city smoldered, burned down in the wake of battle.
Why would it just be called 'Orc city' instead of having an actual name? It's just lazy. You don't need to say 'burned' if you already said 'smoldered.'
>The ground soaked in a knuckle's depth of blood and ash.
Knuckle's depth? Who says that? It's oddly specific, which implies that it should be taken literally. However, it doesn't make sense if you take it literally since that would mean the ground of a city would be covered in like an inch of blood
>The savage cries of its defenders now silent and still as its ruin was overseen by the architect of its very destruction
You don't need to say 'silent' and 'still'. 'Silent' already covers it, 'Still' is repetitive, like his first sentence. And why do you need to say that it was overseen by the architect who destroyed it? Of course it was. Whoever destroyed the city is the 'architect of destruction' by default lol
>The Orc wars were finally over.
Just lazy and boring exposition.
>"There is nothing more reviled than the orc," said the elvish king.
This is probably the least bad sentence, but it's still pretty bad. Imagine if after a war a leader just randomly said "Yeah I hate those guys." Imagine of Aragorn had just randomly said this after winning the last big battle

>>714627346
That’s what happened with Eragon. A middle schooler rewrote Star Wars but changed Jedi to dragons and it got published.

>>714624643
LMAO!

Hot Coldman

>>714629950
>>714629783
Thanks, bros. Appreciate the breakdown.

>>714619682
Straight elf attacked for refusing to twerk in Orc City.

>>714626593
>Liking MGS4's HOURS of meandering dialogue is a sign of terminal fanboyism.
Being an obnoxious faggot is the ultimate sign of fanboyism aka (YOU)

>>714630150
Dude, nobody liked MGS4.

>>714619682
TAKE ME DOWN TO THE BURNING ORC CITY
WHERE THE CORPSES ARE GREEN AND THE WRITING IS SHITTY

>>714621079
Wings was a good show.

>>714630204
>Best... Game... Ever...
It says right there that the game itself was liked and had plenty of great parts, it was just the story that really turned people away.
MGO2 was also kino, as has been said by everyone and their grandma.

>>714630204
I still remember literally tearing up when Otacon said that despite already at that point in the story having tons of grievances with the game.

>>714629017
>the orc city smouldered, burned down in the wake of battle
Just saying "the orc city" already lets me know I'm about to read something so utterly generic that that it isn't worth the paper it is printed on. The whole paragraph is simply gesturing at genre tropes. It's ok to restate things for clarity but the second half of the first sentence is mostly redundant. The city is smouldering, we know it is burning, the only extra information added is that it was because of a battle which is info we get again a second later. Not everyone has to be hemmingway but a weak open.
>the ground soaked in a kunckle's depth of blood and ash
Awful. It doesn't make any literal sense and as a figure of speech it is extremely awkward. Who measures things by knuckle depth? The elves standing there looking? Blood soaks in to the ground it doesn't sit on top so what this sentence is saying is if I stick my finger in to the ground after I go past 1 knuckle the soil will be dry. Really fucking weird thing to say for the sake of trying to create a powerful image, falls completely flat because it is so outlandish.
>the savage cries of its defenders now silent and still as its ruin was overseen by the architect of its very destruction
An awfully constructed sentence all round. The sentence reads like it is about to be a homeric simile comparing the cries to something else but it isn't that at all. "Overseen by the architect of its very destruction" is the sort of thing you might get away with saying at the end of an elaborate plot, but it sounds odd to describe someone who apparently just butchered a city like he's Machiavelli, it comes across as an attempt to jazz up a boring sentence but just makes it a weird one instead of a good one.
>the orc wars were finally over
I think the main problem is how transparently the things are being named for the benefit of the reader.
>"There is nothing more reviled than an orc" said the elvish king
Speaking apparently to us.

>>714630407
>misses the remaining 70% of the image that is just making fun of the game
>is so new he doesn't remember how Kojima was called a hack who can't write primarily because of MGS4

>>714619231 (OP)
I don't get it. What exactly about this character is supposed to make me angry?

>/v/: literature criticism

>>714619231 (OP)
>character that sucks blood is called Vamp, not because he sucks blood, but because he is bisexual.
>The blood sucking is a separate, coincidental thing.

>>714630407
MGO2 was gay but only because of the players being whiny faggots who would DDOS the game if they lost in battles and would bitch because you didn't do their gay box popping shit, M870 custom goes chk chk. Also killed that bitch SSSniperwolf a few times.

>>714628017
Because he's bisexual. Literally.

>>714630549
I have seen that image millions of times, I know everything it says and quote it, that why I specified the game itself, and separated the story

>>714628017
because he sucked.

>>714619682
me when i know what words mean

>guys i'm not mad
>I'm gonna post a meme with a picture of a spartan warrior with a chinese dude quote to show how not mad I am

>>714619231 (OP)
I think people mislabel Kojima as this egotistical "self proclaimed genius" when hes never said that about himself and doesn't intend to hit with a "too deep for you" perception as much as people think and just makes things he thinks are cool or engaging or interesting.

>>714630648
Never personally experienced DDOS'ing, do remember having fun in /v/ lobbies

>>714619231 (OP)
>glazes
Why can't zoomers just speak English?

>>714622328
>Spear Ear
haha what the fuck? knife-ear works just fine

>Die-hardman
>Deadmam
>Amelie
Fucking kojimbo

>>714630854
Genius, no. He merely had one of his characters proclaim "Kojima is God!" in Peace Walker.

>>714631017
>zoomers
Same to you.

I didn't read the thread but wtf does "glazes" mean in this context? They're putting egg on Kojima?

>>714630854
Anyone have that tweet or some such where they translated Kojima claiming he invented the camera

>>714631303
Propping up, putting on a pedestal, praising, etc

>>714631303
"glazing" him in their cum; they're masturbating to how great Kojima is

>>714619231 (OP)
hes named after the real life bomb you ugly trog

>>714629017
>The Orc city
>The Orc Wars
>the elvish king
if these things aren't important, why are we bothering to read about them? if they are important, why don't they have real names?
>smoldered, burned down in the wake of battle
>its ruin was overseen by the architect of its very destruction
saying the same shit twice in a row is stupid and retarded, except in certain cases like "saying the same shit twice is stupid and retarded"
>"there is nothing more reviled than the Orc," said the elvish king
the excerpt's snipped before we can get any more elaboration, but I think this is one of those cases where the writer really should have used a different word for "said", and with the specific phrase "There is nothing more reviled than the Orc," I think a "muttered" would be a huge step up in characterizing the elvish king without altering the word count at all.

>>714631303
It's zoomer mutt speak for whatever they're worshipping that week.

>>714630836
If you're gonna dish it out, you gotta be able to take it.
Especially if you're a fantasy author who's imagination can only stretch as far as "The Orc City."

>>714630584
Games have writing in them. Usually.
Of course I'm of the opinion that writing for games should be approached and understood differently to writing for novels.
Also kojima is indeed a bad writer but he is writing about interesting things. Which is more than can be said for the moron in the OP.

>>714629976
The Inheritance quadrilogy was kino. John A. Cucklas couldn't hope to do as much world building as Christopher Paolini. Paolini was such a fantasy nerd that he even made a functional in-universe language Tolkein style.

>>714630836
That quote suggests he was attempting to enslave kojima fans desu

>>714631303
Glazing is nigger speak metaphor for sucking off, as in when a girl is giving you head her throat and saliva is “glazing” your dick with phlegm and whatnot while she’s choking on it.

>>714619682
Orc is capitalized and elvish isn't, so who really lost the Orc Wars?

>>714619316
Also the Fatman bossfight plays like Bomberman.

"ORCS could be here" he thought. "I’ve never been in this city before. There could be ORCS anywhere"

I thought lefties equated orcs with blacks. What's John trying to imply with all this orc writing??

>>714630812
Do Americans really?

>>714629017
The only thing that I liked was the knuckle part, but replace it with hand

>>714632065
Based on the cover in the thread which looks fake and gay but whatever the hero is presumably an orc and the elves are the baddies.

>>714619231 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YHwCw73Nrs
LA LI LU LE LO patinadora!

HUehueheuheuehueheu

>>714631303
ass kissing. sucking up. pretty sure the vulgar implication is the same as those, and the image it's meant to invoke is the person glazing the one they're praising with their saliva from how much they're kissing ass, or sucking them off.

>>714630812

>>714632180
>Comments are turned off
I love environmental storytelling

This guy is the 4Chan Item Shop BGM equivalent of writing, holy shit.

>>714632353
That's very odd for some random ass ancient commercial

>>714630150
Uh oh, someone sounds cranky. Maybe you should put on an MGS4 cutscene and take a nap.

>>714628017
Because he's a vampire? He has nanomachines that make him immortal but he also has literal devil magic from when he was impaled by a cross

>>714621186
>I don't give a fuck about what cunts on the chiral network are doing!

>>714619231 (OP)
What is the point of video games if you can't experience shit like this?

>>714632843
>Vamp really did have vampire powers
>Fortune really did have luck powers
>Fatman really did have fat powers

>>714619682
>Creative writing is my passion

>>714632374
someone PLEASE post the vocaroo I need to experience it again

>>714632937
The best part about MGS2 is that all of Raiden's villains actually have superpowers instead of being eccentric frauds like FOXHOUND and the Cobra unit. Kinda establishes that Raiden really is that guy.

>>714619231 (OP)
SONTAR HA
SONTAR HA
SONTAR HA

>>714632915
Post-modern retards think every thing has to be 3deep5me or has to be realistic because they have no other way to understand mediums.

>>714625750
What did you dislike about the sequels?

>>714633156
You do realize you're describing MGS fans to a T right?

>>714633118
You don't even need Dead Cell to prove that, he's a fresh recruit trained on VRChat who took on multiple MP Rays on his own.

>>714629017
Not a /lit/ fag and I don't read too often but from what I can tell, you know how people hype up books as "films in your head"?
You're not actually supposed to write books like you're a film director in mind

>>714633016
Sadly I'm staring to like it
https://youtube.com/watch?v=VR9oZZcdYNU

>>714633118
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZWoZEs0q1k

>>714633118
>Psycho Mantis
>eccentric fraud
>The Sorrow
>eccentric fraud
>Colonel Volgin
>eccentric fraud

None of these were cyborgs or nanomachines.

>>714633289
Fuck man I never thought someone could top the Crazy Bus theme

>>714633361
Those guys are the exceptions though. Volgin is up there with Armstrong as one of the strongest guys in the series.

>>714631871
Kojima haters really can't decide if they want to shit on him cause he is making muh moviegames or because his games are too video gamey and not realistic and "sophisticated" enough like muh artistic western movies

>>714633361
Sniper Wolf was naturally that good of a shot
Revolver Ocelot was naturally that good of a shot
Decoy Octopus was that good at disguise
Raven was naturally that strong (Could hold a plane's Vulcan gatling like a LMG and keep the recoil down well enough to shoot it

>>714633612
I hate them because they are hilariously overwritten and while the mechanics are solid the writing takes up so much more time.

Tell me the master collection/PC ports
I only played the PS3 collection and I know they cut some stuff like skateboarding and Snake vs Monkey. Was any of it added back to the new collections or is there a way to add it myself?

>>714633665
No
Just emulate it like anyone else with a brain

>>714619231 (OP)
based Jet Set Radio boss

>>714619682
tried to rewrite this
>King Quercus looked upon what had once been the city of Krawveld.
>Nothing remained of the orcish capital but rubble and ash. The screams of its army had long since given way to silence, and even the flames had become embers, snuffed out under the boots of the advancing elvish troops.
>King Quercus looked upon all this, and for the first time in three years, he smiled.
please critique, i'm not a writer

>>714619682
Most of the jokes about this were pretty lame but there were a few good ones.

>>714619231 (OP)
>Whenever someone glazes Hideo Kojima, remember
>KINO
This faggot makes no sense.

>>714619682
It's peak

Is there a Fatman mod for BRC?

>>714634053
>actually characterizes the elven king
you're actually more of a writer than the published author you're rewriting the words of.

>>714630854
Remember that time he personally saw to getting that Agnes Kaku interview censored and taken off the internet because it hurt his feelings? Guy's a narcissistic hack.

>>714634053
>ruins the mystique of Orc city by giving it a name
>no mention of Orc Wars
>tries to establish the elf king through proper characterization instead of saying "There is nothing more reviled than the orc"
Thank god you're not a writier anon But you should give it a try sometime. It's fun and you're good

>>714634053
>Nothing remained of the orcish capital but blood and ash. The screams of its army had long since given way to silence, the flames now embers, snuffed out under the boots of elvan troops.
>The war was over.
>A lone elf looked on, wickedly grinning,(...)

Here's my edit trying to keep more in line with the book. I don't necessarily think you need to toss around names immediately, just not use shit like "Orc city" or "elvish king".

>>714632065
I wish that was me.

I replayed MGS3 a couple weeks ago and it has some really retarded shit:
>"The three major powers of World War 2: USA, Russia and China"

>>714619848
>>714622328
Why the fuck does he keep capitalizing the word "orcs"? Why doesn't he capitalize the word "elves", then?

>>714619682
Do the Orc city, and the elvish king get actual names later in the story?

>>714619231 (OP)
mgs2 is based because it is a polished well made game with a lot of replayability and interesting boss fights
i dont really care about the plot or lore, although the the fact that the patriot AI insists on creating "context" is actually quite interesting, the more you explore the occult

>>714634903
>the vast majority of fighting and dying is done in china and russia
>the usa is bankrolling the entire allied powers
yeah whats your problem?

>>714635059
That is their actual name

>>714635059
>Orc city
Orctopia
>elvish king
Elfdolf

>>714633657
>overwritten
What the fuck does that even mean
The stories of his games always give you cool characters, interesting lore and goals
They are great stories designed for video games, to get you pumped up for bossfights or specific levels and moments. You tards are comparing their ""sophistication"" to straightforward book/movie scripts that were not made to complement gameplay, like what TloU has, which is like watching a regular movie/tv show just with random action scenes constantly interrupting it

>>714631637
>fantasyslop is good if I read it as a child!
You're the exact kind of midwit that would enjoy Cucklas' book.

>>714620096
Go easy on him, he's a MGS fan.

>>714635158
Oh so the jews were also a major power because they did a lot of dying?

>>714635176
Yes, I paid five dollars for the book

>>714635373
meant for >>714635059

>>714619231 (OP)
Holy shit, so he's named after the atom bomb thingy from the movie Openheimer?
I knew Kojima is a movie fan but I didn't expect him to like obscure movies.

>>714619231 (OP)
Someone who has a twitter account get this faggot cancelled by accusing him of cultural insensitivity or w/e, because he's ignorant of the greater significance of the name "Fat Man" in Japanese history.

I don't have a horse in this race, I just hate twitter retards and want to see their pot stirred.

>>714629017
Others have already commented on the orc city thing, but I want to add that there is a mismatch of registers, the rest of the excerpt is written in this magniloquent and grave tone (well it tries to be anyway) but then he uses "knuckle's depth" which sounds like something a carpenter or a construction work might say to eyeball a measurement.

>>714629976
To be fair, Star Wars was intentionally written to be a generic fantasy story IN SPACE

>>714619231 (OP)
Fat Man was not his name, it was his codename.
He just wanted to blow shit up big time. Hated his mentor because he was a wimp. Pretty based in my opinion.

>>714620059
mgs2's development is pretty cool to study
it was one of the last games that ever got a real budget and workable timeline
ever since, game dev teams basically get raped by their corporate publishers to overpromise and underdeliver on zero budget

>>714634439
all I know is that her wizard of oz dorothy line was cringe and was thankfully cut.

>>714635925
>mgs2's development is pretty cool to study
Any recommendations for this?
It's such a weird game.

>>714629950
>Imagine if after a war a leader just randomly said "Yeah I hate those guys."
The German city smouldered, bombed down in the wake of battle. The ground soaked in a sauerkraut jar's depth of blood and ash. The savage cries of its defenders now silent and still as its ruin was overseen by the very architect of its destruction.
The German wars were finally over.
"There is nothing more reviled than a German," Said the Soviet General Secretary.

>Want to get into writing
>All of my friends tell me that I write stories like a lab report
It's over for me, bros...

>>714636152
Unironically read more. If sterile prose is your problem then seek out works known for a style you aspire too.

>>714619682
This reminds me of when my novice writefag friends come to me for feedback and thoughts, Jesus Christ. It's the type of bad that you don't even know where to begin with, like you're just overwhelmed with shit.

>>714636280
>too
Fucking kill me

>>714636280
That's the thing, I love reading. I'm currently going through GK Chesterton's works, and that guy is very engaging. I've already read a lot of the classics, i.e. Crime and Punishment or Moby Dick or the first half of Don Quixote.

>>714636152
Post a paragraph

>>714636383
It happens two me, too. I swear, using 4chan just causes your grammatical skills to decay.

>>714631804
>>714634918
>book about fantasy racism against (capitalized) Orcs by (uncapitalized) elves
You know how wokeoids capitalize Black and not white? He directly copied that into his slop.

>>714636128
bro theres a documentary lol

>>714619231 (OP)
he killed my 100% dogtags run i tried back then. i just couldnt get to the bombs fast enough since they were complete random spots on the hardest difficulty. fuck him.

>>714636152
Read more as the other Anon said (I thought it was a meme too), and try to think of "your paragraph" like a director might use his camera: what are you specifically drawing the reader's attention to, and why is it important? Think about crafting visual images for your readers to imagine, that really helped me in making scenes that feel exciting, cool, and generally have "oomph."

>>714619682
>The orc city smouldered in the wake of battle. Ash now covered its ruins. The savage cries of its defenders still ringed in the elven soldiers ears as their waded through their blood and remains.
>The orc wars were finally over
>"ORCS could be here" sentenced the elvish king, admiring the destruction he had wrought.
>"I HATE ORCS" he said.

How's this for a rewrite

>>714636416
Something I wrote in 2019.
>But at the moment, the thing he remembered most was the small beauty mark she had beneath her left eye. It was in the same location as it always had been, but thing in front of him was not the coworker he had admired for years. Her face seemed slightly askew - slightly stretched - as if the skull beneath was not right for the new flesh placed upon it. Green eyes stared at him from across the containment cell while unseen mouths panted and groaned. The thing that was not his coworker continued to smile at him.

Since we're /lit/ here, how's your story going, anon?

>>714636698
HIRE THIS MAN

>>714636698
with an elvish chariot, you can go anywhere

>>714636660
I always feel like I'm rushing through scenes too much. It's fun to read prose, but writing it sometimes feels like filler. It obviously isn't, but I assume the issue is that I already have a mental image of what is happening, which I need to get better at transcribing for the audience.

>>714628301
/v/ the musical 2025

>>714636460
shut the fuck up weird ass loser

>>714636446
4chan is probably one of the better sites for grammar. Youtube is a ESL/Retard wasteland. Twitter is zoomer and e-nigger central. 4chinz shits on ESLs so it usually gets the retards to sort their shit out.

>>714620938
Which was retarded. Snake jobbing to her too after saying he'll figure something out was not fun to watch either

>>714636716
I vill continue worldbuilding in my head instead of writing a cohesive plot.

>>714636716
Keeps getting larger and larger. Mainly just focusing on dialogue and mapping out the general story at the moment.

>>714636698
>as their waded
Also, lol

>>714619316
the retard that tweeted this has no historical understanding of nuclear war or even the basic familiarity with metal gear as a series, of course he doesn't know that.

>>714620946
Who is the boss? Make sure the supposed plagiarized oc is a woman too.

>>714636989
Me too, man.
All I do is write outlines instead of starting that terrifying Chapter 1.

>>714637060
Autocorrect + lack of sleep

>>714620059
He was going to be a Vietnamese kung fu master called chinaman

>>714636716
I realized that the theme I started with doesn't really fit with how the plot has developed in my head.
Also, ten more fantasies that are just my self-insert going on adventures with my ideal woman have popped up in my head.

Don’t forget that he killed a nigger fraud

>>714636709
NTA, but I can see what they mean: your voice very much tends to default into "X is Y" type simple sentences, and you are "telling" rather than showing. The point of the paragraph it to show that this woman isn't the same as before (zombified or something), but it repeats this fact over and over again (It was in the same location as it always had been, but thing in front of him was not the coworker he had admired for years; as if the skull beneath was not right for the new flesh placed upon it; The thing that was not his coworker). There is no visceral reaction from the character as he sees the shambling, smiling face of undeath that was once his friend, and it is very much just "telling me what I'm seeing" paragraph rather than anything kinetic that flows naturally into the next paragraph.

You've got a clear "mind's eye" of the vision you want, but you just need to make it more kinetic and scream "SHIT IS HAPPENING!" to the reader. Make your character shout, make them cry, but make them do something; their wants, needs, and fears should be the beating heart of your story.

>>714636716
One of my friends is an editor who keeps trying to get me to publish shit so I insist on writing only haibun since no one will ever publish me pretending to be a Japanese man from 400 years ago just to spite her for thinking I'm talented.

>>714635153
whats with "creating context"?

>>714627860
it would not be the first time schizobabblers stumbled upon something credible.
the tale of the very first secretary of defenses "spontaneous suicide" (a medical term the coroner needed to invent on the spot) post ww2 is another such story.
I came across it tied to someone babbling about a story regarding nazis in their hollow earth entrance at antartica.

>>714621079
>unironic navy seal copy pasta

Is there ANYTHING more reviled than the orc?

>>714636152
>>714636280
read conan, it has a realy unique forward momentum you feel when reading it,

>>714637193
It happens, don't worry. I've had my fair share of mishaps when it comes to homophones.

>>714634180
kek

>>714637538
The goblin?

>>714636716
I'm 8 chapters deep and what was supposed to be a lighthearted story has veered off into drama that I don't know how to write myself out of.

>>714619231 (OP)

>>714637551
I might as well. I know that Conan's author and Lovecraft were good friends, and I quite like Lovecraft.
>>714637319
Thank you for the critique. I was attempting to make the main character not react yet since he's supposed to be used to something like that happening, only for something else to cause him to snap. There was a lot of repetition right before this paragraph as well in an attempt to hammer in that this should be procedure, but I don't think this was conveyed properly.
I will continue trying to write.

>>714619682
>The orc war was finally over
>"I hate orcs" said the elven king

>>714637538
Gnomes.

>>714637378
if you dont know anything about occultists/masons/jews and high level linguistic-mental hacks, then what i'm about to write will sound like gibberish to you

but basically, one of the highest levels of magic that occultists like jews and masons can use is a form of "re-framing" a given state of affairs. this is known also as neurolinguistic programming. you can see hints of it when the serpent addresses eve in genesis. the serpent says, if she eats the fruit, she will not "surely die". this is a half-truth that re-frames what God told adam and eve previously. because God could have chosen not to cast adam and eve out of the garden of eden and given them limited life spans. but this would have necessitated that God lie to adam and eve, which of course did not happen.

the way that evil actors work in this world, demons and the occultists that follow them, is they will not directly contradict God, or what is patently true. instead, they re-frame what God says, or what is patently true. the goal is to mislead you with half-truths and lies by ommission, which enables you to miscaluclate and lose orientation.

so when the patriots tell raiden that he can try to spill the story, but even if info gets out there, they can create a context where the facts are rendered useless, or have a totally different effect than he would hope-- this is certainly playing with the idea of neurolinguistic programming

>>714619571
Only grifters and two digits IQ subhumans like Kojima.

>>714629017
>knuckle depth
Unless the narrator is a character within the story and we're trying to establish he's the kind of uneducated man to use measurements that relate to the body, then this kind of rough yet specific measurement shouldn't be used. It feels personal and casual rather than objective descriptive. It doesn't suit the rest of the language at all. It also doesn't really make any sense. The blood and ash mixed and created a type of mud an inch deep, or 3-4 inches deep depending on which knuckle we're talking about. How can blood even pool on a city street with that kind of depth? Its a description that is poorly written and scarcely believable. It invites scrutiny and skepticism.

>orc, orc, orc
I don't have any issue with "Orc Wars" really. Wars have been named for its combatants a million times before in fiction and reality. Orc city is awkward. If it had said orcish army camp or even orcish city it might be better but it would still be lazy. We only understand or can imagine what that city may look like because orcs have been portrayed fairly consistently in so many other stories since LoTR. He's leveraging other people's work to tell his own story and paint his own picture. He's trying so hard to be descriptive and prosaic elsewhere but skipping on the details entirely here.

It reads like a list of tropes but without the author recognizing that they're hollow tropes. Like the author has read a bunch of fantasy and watched a bunch of movies and just copied phrases ands story beats but he just doesn't "get it"

>>714638106
Beg more to your retarded audience DSP

NO ONE HEARS A WORD
THEY SAY

>>714619682
>The
>The
>The
>The
>There

Why don't you try rewriting the opening to Douglas's book, huh?!

>>714638616
Most popular word in the English language, solely thanks to this guy.

>>714638697

>>714634053
>>714634818
>>714636698

Laugh and grow fat!

>>714619682
>"ORCS could be here" he thought, "I've never been in this city before. There could be ORCS anywhere." The smoldering ash felt good against his bare chest. "I HATE ORCS" he thought. Elvish drums reverberated the entire battlefield, making it pulsate even as the 9 gold elvish wine circulated through his powerful elven thick veins and washed away his (merited) fear of greenskins after dark. "With orc wars, you can do anything you want" he said to himself, out loud.

>>714623490
The fury exploded into screaming fire ghosts on death. He earned his jetpack flamethrower privileges.

>>714638049
what's the esoteric significance of getting diagnosed with an extremely rare brain tumor, great sage? happened to me this month

>>714619231 (OP)
Imagine being mad about a joke character that also poses an actual threat.

>>714623490
>Cobra Unit is mostly just a group of eccentrics. The Fear in particularly was kind of a loser, and The Fury's superpower was owning a jetpack and a flamethrower.
Shit niggas who haven't yet found an emotion to carry into battle say:

>>714639554
What emotion would Big Boss carry into battle?

>>714639493
adam and eve ate from the fruit of knowledge, so humans from that point have to till the earth for their food, get sick, and die. we are guaranteed nothing in this world, we could die at any moment. we cannot live forever like the angels, it would defeat the purpose of why humans are here in this world. we are here to be tested and then judged at the conclusion of this world. God had an initial design for humans and angels, but this was basically derailed by Satan and the 1/3 of angels who rebelled-- and this state of affairs is the result.

what would you like explained?

>>714638697
>a sanguine haze filled the streets of Orctown, spilling garishly out on to the Orcplain and in to the orcvening sky.
>the city was burning, and only the crackling of its smouldering timbers cried out to orcmourn its dead orchabitants.
>out in the plain, beneath the smoke-dimmed sky, the elfking elfwatched in serene elfsilence. Elflast the orcwars were over.
>"Good"

>>714619231 (OP)
Retard
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_Man

>>714636946
kill yourself fragile zoomer faggot

>Amerimutts don't know Fat Man was a nuclear bomb

>>714619682
>There was a shrill, constant ring in Estdienne's ears. Bodies lay in clumps by the fence, bodies lay strewn out at the doorways and at the great intersections. Bodies—green and weapons clenched tight in their dead hands—lay as far as the eye could see, painting a breadcrumb trail of carnage through the city and up the castle ramparts.
>Backed by the full moon, there lay a flag atop the peak — that flag was his flag, pumping fists and spears beside it; elves cheered and waved their helmets.
>"Salvage what you can, sell it to the campfollowers, and send word home," Estdienne said, cheek rested upon a tired fist, icy blue eyes finally closing for the first time in minutes, "we need enough salt to drown a nation. Just because they're dead doesn't mean our job is done."
Rewrite for fun.

>>714619231 (OP)
I was 12 when I first saw Fat Man in MGS2 and thought his was gay then. Later I got the connection between bombs and the name Fatman I still think he is gay. MSG2 is a really stupid game held up by a few great scenes. His book sounds bad but two things can be bad at the same time.

>>714639730
>The Hunger...
>HMM I WANT SOME MORE

>>714640494
>His book sounds bad but two things can be bad at the same time
Yes but also glass houses.

>>714639836
Why did I laugh so much at this?

>>714639865
>>714640494
I always understood the Fat Man reference, I don't know what the roller blades are for though.

>>714640670
rolling around at the speed of sound

>>714640670
The fatman reference is so on the nose that it harms the character. It is on par with fucking Duke Nukem for subtly.

>>714639836
Forgot the pic.

>>714640670
nukes move really fast

>>714622069
and both are kino
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACXOhRIe-s4

>>714619231 (OP)
Didn't he also have painted nails? Pretty gei boss

>>714640785
Yes, military nicknames are well known for their subtlety and tastefulness.

>>714640613
I tried to make each sentence start relatively normally and then escalate in stupidity before resetting at the start of the next one.

>>714622328
Imagine being a half-halfling halfkin, that must suck.

>>714639836
>the elfking elfwatched in serene elfsilence.

>>714640670
so he could move fast, duh

>>714619513
Fisting is 300 bucks.

>>714638697
>Their church was the last thing to burn.
>Orcs fled to it as fire consumed the rest of their city. Perhaps the creatures thought their god would protect them. Perhaps they thought we would let superstitious fear stand in the way of justice. They were wrong either way.
>Chains around the door. Torches through the shattered windows. The smoke and screams that soon came signalled our job was done.
>It was a pityable thing, their city. Even before we came to cleanse it. Orcs could not build. They could not govern. They could only fight and die.
Idk there's a lot of ways you can write a genocidal slaughter to open your book

>>714629017
"The orc city" doesn't tell me anything about orcs or the setting, or anything about the general attitude about orcs when it could easily do that better than elf general saying "man I hate those guys"
It could be orc Camelot, Wakanda, could be a bunch of mud huts, could just be fucking Baltimore or Yonkers. Not having names for places is one thing but if the story is meant to be sympathetic without giving anything away you could at least make it something that seems innocuous (village synonyms) or if it's the opposite you can use a more disheartening descriptor, like encampment, caverns, spawning grounds, etc

>>714637123
Nena Heaven from Crying Freeman

>>714638697
>It ain't me
>It ain't me
>I ain't no High Elf's son

>>714641880
The orcs only had ONE city OK!

>>714641828
I really liked it, you have a good voice. Based.

>>714619231 (OP)
Loved MGS my entire life but it's weird playing them now that I'm working in the same war economy Kojima warned me against since I was like 6 when MGS1 came out.

>>714641880
I was picturing Orclahoma City.

>>714620391
Kojimbo loves usa far more than japan.

>>714636716
editing hell. I hate artists who can't finish their works but here I am stuck after 2 years trying to prevent myself becoming a mockery like OP

>>714642045
Thanks, I really like thinking about writing and then not writing.

>>714622328
When i think that RR sucks for their bordeline sexual love for litrpg, and soobversion, i think about shit like this.

>>714642397
There's an audience for everything, it never hurts to put yourself out there

>>714619682
I feel like that could be good writing if the entire thing was just like, unhinged elf racism and the rest of the book is an account of the dwarf wars where they killed all the dwarves.

And the book ends with the line:

"Now that the orcs and dwarves are extinct, there is nothing more reviled than the human," said the elvish king.

TO BE CONTINUED

>>714622328
So much of this is self-explanatory. Just let your audience figure out your world for themselves as the story progresses holy shit I hate stuff like this

>>714632156
this but replace it with elbow

>>714621079
What the fuck did you just say about Kubrick, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Film Directing, I’ve watched over 3,000 films — criterion only, bitch — and I’ve written three screenplays that would make Charlie Kaufman cry. I am trained in arthouse analysis and I’m the top cinephile in the entire Letterboxd elite. You are nothing to me but another pleb with a Marvel Phase Four ranking list.

I will have you know I saw Wings in 2012 at the TCM Festival on nitrate film stock, and that experience alone gave me more emotional range than you’ve displayed in your entire miserable existence. I’ve studied Kurosawa, Kubrick, Tarantino, AND Scorsese — I’ve watched Seven Samurai frame-by-frame while whispering Shakespearean soliloquies for dramatic contrast.

You think you're safe hiding behind your ironic appreciation of The Room? Think again, fucker. As we speak I’m tracking your taste through your half-star review of Barry Lyndon, and your Letterboxd is about to be ratioed into oblivion. You better prepare for a storm of monologues longer than a Paul Thomas Anderson tracking shot. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can drown your credibility with over 700 words on diegetic sound alone.

You think this is a game? I’ve debated film bros in forums so obscure they don’t even show up on Google. I’ve been to midnight screenings of Eraserhead on acid. I’ve clapped at Cannes. You’re in way over your head, kid.

I’m not just a filmmaker — I’m a goddamn cinematic auteur, and you? You're just a jump cut in the timeline of my legacy. Watch your back.

>>714642728
*elfbow

>>714642610
Someone please hire this fucking man

>>714638697
>The last moments of Elfraper the lesser, child heir to the Orcish Empire of Shiddinpissed, were spent in confusion and terror. Cut all too short when his skull was obliterated against the edge of a granite great table. With this, the heir slain, and the fighting males routed, the Orcish wars were over.
As the first bits of the green toddlers hair and skull began to drip onto the floor, good king Cucklir was already sending orders to dispatch hunting parties to intercept any fleeing orcish survivors. Their wrath would be swift and without flourish, pest control of the most mundane order. The ill-skin's deaths set in stone the moment their former king Cumlots the Rancid had set foot on their lands all those years ago, and began raping elves.

>>714619231 (OP)
Why didn't he mention Fat Man being the name of the atom bomb?

>>714619231 (OP)
The first time I played MGS3 was while high with friends. Ocelot was hilarious but when "The Pain" introduced himself it became clear to me that the entire series is just advanced shitposting. Haven't had that much fun in a long time

>>714632937
>>Fatman really did have fat powers
Kek

>>714635337
Fav game.

>>714639836
>Elflast
I love you /v/

>>714642872
The lesser races really do call it an "elbow" to distance their speech from their betters.
Did you know, for example, that they even add sounds to the middle of words to obscure their elvish origin?
For example, while an elf might correctly describe himelf as wealfy, a human would call himSelf wealthy.
Truly pathetic.

>>714642610
Would actually be a pretty funny short story.

ISRAELF JUST BOMBED ORCRAN CHECK CNN

>>714619231 (OP)
That boss fight is fun so who gives a shit. People can shit on Kojima's writing but his gameplay is always good

>>714637120
Its why you don't listen to niggers on twitter

>>714637878
>not react yet since he's supposed to be used to something like that happening
I know this is really late, but if he's supposed to be taking in what he's looking at and trying to come to terms with the idea it's "not his coworker", you could try making the statements a bit snappier.
>X is Y.
>X is Y.
>X is Y.
As opposed to
>X has this look that makes it seem like Y.
It might make the character seem like he's used to this thing and the lab report structure would suit someone who is literally marking down features as his job and/or position. That way when you are lengthening the descriptions it's for when he's more relaxed and not dealing with monsters taking over people he knows.

The orc fag is calling people retards on xwitter...which is just downright weird

>>714644223
Should be calling them orcs, seeing as he reviles them so much

>>714619231 (OP)
bravo kojima

>>714619231 (OP)
Am I supposed to be mad or embarrassed of the kino boss that was Fatman?

>>714641957
doubt

>>714644156
Understood. Thank you for your advice, anon.
I should try rewriting that short story at some point.

>>714624643

>>714644624
Obviously that mainly pertains to that single paragraph but people do think like that at times, so even if you tend to write like a lab report, going forward I think it's about feeling out where it makes sense for your characters to be listing off what they see and when they should be listing off what they feel.

>>714644486
>blonde in a white bodysuit, running a mercenary organization made up of former soldiers who couldn't return to civilian life, has a snake tatoo, wields a FAMAS

>>714619231 (OP)
>brainlets like OP and the fag in the tweet think his name is just a reference to his weight
Unironically, Kojima’s games are too deep for you. Stick to CoD, kiddo. A 100+ IQ is a requirement for enjoying Koji kino.

>>714645194
>running a mercenary organization made up of former soldiers
The boss didn't do that
>FAMAS
The patriot is a modified M16

>>714636946
yeah the other guy is right you should definitely kill yourself immediately

>>714619231 (OP)
>fat guy that is named Fat Man in reference to the nuke
>Vampire who is named Vamp because he's a bisexual slut
No one does it like Kojima

Are there gay bars in orc city? I'm an elven twink and I want a bara orc bf

>>714619682
Where can I find more terrible first pages getting mocked

>>714645912
denying the parallel's over pedantry isn't a counter
>h-he only stole all of these ideas and contextualized them differently, they weren't all present on one character!
get a fucking grip

>his name
Aren't those codenames/nicknames? Why would they dox themselves?

>>714646974
>claims a character is exactly the same as another
>its actually a bunch of surface level similarities

>>714646301
Get the fuck out here, sex tourist. You've done enough to us already

>>714642610
Hang on I'm writing it right now.

>>714619231 (OP)
Yeah? And what has your bitch-ass done? Cope, seethe and Dial 8.

>>714647154
Fat Man, specifically, wants his name out there as much as possible, and doesn't care at all about the Patriots or S3, He wants to go down in history as a famous bomber, taking his former mentor Stillman down with him, and only takes part in the mission to gain notoriety. Them publicizing Fat Man being a member of the terrorists is actually part of the plan, because he's counting on them bringing in Stillman as the only person who knows how to stop him.

>>714624417
>Honest to God Hiromoot needs to make twittercap images a bannable offense
Site owners won't do anything that risks lowering 'user engagement', even if it's low quality shit flinging.

>>714648327
https://pastebin.com/cRL0spF1

>>714619231 (OP)
Why is the word "glaze" suddenly popular among normals? I swear I've seen it ~10 times in the last week, but before that maybe 3 times during my 20 years on 4chan (formerly 4channel (formerly 4chan)).

>>714649857
>"Ahh!" He cried. "What a wretched creature is the Dwarf! How vile and ungainly in proportion
Choked on my own spit

>>714639151
LOL I was waiting for it.

>>714650018
what kind of dumb question is that? there's nothing unique about the word "glaze". it had the same pipeline as any other new slang.

starts somewhere, people who started it use it in other places, it spreads even more, after a few cycles it becomes cool, then finally it reaches people who dont even keep up with slang and it feels like it was just there the whole time. into etymology anon

>>714629017
Honestly just compare it with an actually acclaimed work of fantasy and you'll spot the difference instantly.

>>714649857
Kino. I would make the man part a bit longer to match the pace of the other two genocides.

I am also not a writer.
>>714634053
>>714634640
>King Quercus gazed upon what had once been the great Orc capital.
>Nothing remained of their final refuge but rubble and ash, the screams of its armies long since given way to silence, quelled under the boots of advancing elvish troops.
>After three years of war against these savages, Quercus' stony visage had finally been cracked by a smile.

r8 /8 m8

>>714637385
Forrestal, yeah. Hardline anticommunist, hated the Israelis, in the same UFO narratives he was a blabbermouth about anything any German breakaways were supposedly up to and was saying the quiet parts out loud a handful of years before the mass UFO flyover of Washington D.C in 1952. Gets transparently thrown out a window by proto-CIA glowniggers, gets the Patton treatment because in precisely the same fashion he was implicitly or explicitly going to turn bad goy.

>>714619682
I'll try my hand at this.
>The last bastion of orcish pride was finally on its last embers. The gallant bellows of its champions were silenced hours ago, drowned by the lake of blood that now seeped into every smoldering ruin. Piles of bodies towered over city, eclipsing even the smoldering ruins of the temple spires.
>The king of the elves had already departed, leaving the spoils of war to his generals. No riches in the world could bring him the same satisfaction as another successful campaign.
>"There is nothing more reviled than the Orc."

>>714650797
There's something about the last sentence that feels a bit clunky, but I'm not quite able to put my finger on it.

>>714649857
That's genuinely great OC, anon. Thank you!

>>714650797
>>714651743
"stony visage" is an awful way to describe someone unless their face is actually stone and literally cracked, but from someone else's smile

>>714649857
I saw that last part coming but it was funny all the same. Thanks for the laughs.

>>714630093
more like based cingeman

>>714651670
Pretty decent but you repeated "soldering ruin" twice which sounds clunky

>>714650996
and he only got thrown out because his brother called to say he was coming to get him and retire quietly in the countryside lol.
though from the babble I saw they supposedly were after evidence he had of Truman meeting with members of the Mob.
Evidence that was also in his diary, which the glowniggers took.

>>714619231 (OP)
>Fat-Bombman
Do your rike it ?

>>714639836
wtf I didn't know Corncob McCarthy browsed /v/

>>714652589
I also repeated "last X" twice in the first sentence, but that might make things sound better.
I really ought to proofread stuff more. I've noticed that I sometimes repeat similar phrases in the same sentence/paragraph.

I'm 40 years old and have been observing Kojima since the beginning, yet I still don't understand what makes men suck him off this hard.

>>714652756
He takes shitposts and makes them theatrical

>>714652697
That's the definition of rough draft.
Get the ideas down and outline everything then go back and realize you said the same word 3 times in a sentence.
Then go back 100 more times constantly finding the smallest of "errors".

>>714652756
I am of the opinion that kojima has some interesting ideas for stories but is terrible at doing the actual writing. But gamers are usually so deprived of anything intellectually stimulating that we love kojima for trying and find his alien attempts to understand human interaction endearing.

>>714619682
>"Orcs could be here" muttered the elvish king to himself.

>>714650726
Lost interest after the first paragraph. Literally trying too hard.

>>714642610
>"Ahh!" He cried. before launching yet another ethnic cleansing
Gonna make the fall of Elam look like a fucking joke.

>>714619231 (OP)
twitter hates it when a guy gets a little silly

>>714619439
>he paints his nails btw.
I have a special contempt for complete normie white bois who know they can't be seen as alpha, so they try to win leftist points by hinting they're "queer" by... OMG so brave... painting their names.

One of the funniest vidya Youtubers is Grimbeard but as he's slowly become more and more leftist, he makes an effort to show his painted nails while not showing his face or any other part of himself. He's hinted that he's ugly, and he certainly lives in a hovel, so his progressivism is just plain vanilla envy and bitterness. As is the case for 99.999% of leftists.

>>714623994
i opened this in the background and got a mobile game ad with coin sounds and thought that was the song you posted

>>714650726
>when a shitposter mogs your magnum opus >>714649857

>>714619231 (OP)
it's a fat white narcissistic guy who bombs people while doing stupid, hedonistic shit
if he's criticizing that it's too on the nose, he's a faggot
if he doesn't get it, he's a retarded faggot
regardless, this guy being an author is genuinely a crime and him trying to own the orcposting is sad

>>714619305
They were pretty good.

>>714653417
I love it when Kojimbros perform rorshach tests with anything related to his work, then expound its depth

>>714650502
>>714650743
>>714651881
>>714652185
>>714653381
Thanks bros. The human genocide is a but rushed, I got partway through it and figured no one was going to read it anyway, usually the more elaborate a shitpost I make the less people find it funny, so I did cut it a bit short.

>>714642610
Sounds like elf comic

>>714649857
>He wishes for cleanness but stains himself with gore!
Holy kino

>>714619682
>>714640446
Like rewrite that Prologue quote? I'll give it a shot

>Wavering black columns of soot and ash billowed out of the charred ruin of what was once Angband, the grand capital of the Blackhand orcs, the very earth it stood upon wet and soggy with the blood of its former inhabitants. The cacophony of screams and cries as its last defenders were slain had now given over to a deafening silence.

>And thus ended the War of the Blackhand

>Finrod Felagund, Elf Lord of Nargothrond, grimaced and spat. "Of all mortal races I have I have had the displeasure of dealing with in a thousand years, there are still none more foul than orcs. Even in death, they repulse me. Good riddance." He nodded to his lieutenant, "Have the corpses burned."
No, they're not original names, but I'm not going to come up with original fantasy names for a shitpost.

>>714653565
Still makes for a good prologue regardless. The whole thing could take place in the samsara so they are constantly killing themselves in these wars with only slight variations on who is declared the winner.

>>714653538
this is a surface level read of the character
it quite literally could not be more simplistic without having the fat fuck say nagasucky my dick in the boss battle
i could not give two shits about kojimaslop but acting like the concept doesn't have layers despite being a superficial design is stupid

ive never played MGS have the first few games aged well, is the collection worth getting?

>>714651670
>Piles of bodies towered over city, eclipsing even the smoldering ruins of the temple spires.
How'd they get them up there?

>>714654349
The elves stacked them into big piles to make it the city a bit more organized.

>>714619231 (OP)
Kojima worshipers are massive delusional cunts… however
>>714619682
Fucking hell

>>714654441
Like with ladders or did they have a machine?

>>714642812
i smell ai

>>714654517
They're VERY good at stacking.

>>714654349
With a lot of patience and plenty of jenga practice. You can do the same with buffalo skulls and Persian dongs if you try hard enough.

He's a shartycuck as well

>>714632135
Yes we really Euroanon. We really are this retarded. Focused on DEI and the feels than learning any significant in school.

>>714619231 (OP)
>complains about cool shit Kojima wrote instead of the pseudo intellectual babble
Peak westoid, also lmao Orc City.

>Bump limit
These little writing exercises were fun. Thanks, /v/.

>>714619231 (OP)
>complains about cool shit Kojima wrote instead of the pseudo intellectual babble
Peak westoid retardation, also lmao Orc City.

>>714655086
They're going to rebuild New Orc City.

>>714649857
Someone tweet him the link.

>>714619682
AI writes better than this.

>>714629017
I think it needs to breathe. Give me more than a couple sentences about the Orc city. Show me the silvery flaxen ropes cast over its palisades. Show me the cloud of black smoke over the remains of its council house as the great beams, long rotting, now finally turn to ash. Then introduce the elf directly. Idk man it's hard to write.

>>714624643
with a horse you can go anywhere

>>714620834
it's gay coded like all of gen-z

>>714629017
If you have to ask, don't start writing yourself, like ever.

>>714655332
AI can write very well in the same way that a smart teenager can write a very good 800-word college admissions essay

>>714633289
what was he thinking with this?

>>714633289
>schizo goes out to get some bread

>>714625423
I can't tell if this is a sophisticated piece of satire hidden under layers of irony, or this is a genuine attempt at fantasy by a man with no taste.

>>714654178
Like, was it supposed to be a complete rewrite from scratch, or just trying to redo what the author wrote?

>>714656848
There hasn't been a single take in it in this thread that wasn't an improvement.