Thread 716431568

mario lost so link could win

This feels like the video game equivalent of when a Korean talent agency tries to do damage control.

BOWSER CHADS I CAN’T BELIEVE WE FUCKING WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>716431638
https://www.gamesradar.com/games/super-mario/like-link-and-zelda-nintendo-insists-mario-and-peach-are-just-good-friends-and-anything-else-is-just-mushroom-kingdom-gossip-so-i-guess-30-years-of-kissing-means-nothing-to-you/

>>716431568 (OP)
Nintendo realized how hot Peach was and how many people bust nuts so her so they shafted Mario so otakus wouldn’t sperg out about her fucking a fat midget

>>716431568 (OP)
>This is what happens when you let Treehouse think they write canon lore
Grim. Next thing you know they'll be saying Daisy is a tranny and that Peach is actually lesbian.

>>716431568 (OP)
Well duh. Mario and Pauline are a couple. Peach and Bowser have been fucking for decades.

>>716431568 (OP)
Mario needs to stop simping for this bimbo. The correct choice was RIGHT THERE

>>716431741
This article came out before TotK

>nothing said about Luigi and Daisy
What did Nintendo mean by this?

>>716431568 (OP)
We all know why they aren't a couple.

>>716431568 (OP)
Makes me feel kind of bad for the Princess honestly. Mario has plenty of options but for her it's pretty much either her Plumber hero or her Turtle stalker.

Haven't they been saying that for a while?
Also it doesn't really matter much, Mario is so basic that you can just make the characters act however. Bowser doesn't act the same between like half the series and people don't care.

>mario confirmed to being a non committal friend with benefits rather than being tied down to a foid

based, what a chad

You retards are literally woman-brained for obsessing over shit like this. A man wouldn't care about this gossip shit about the supposed love lives of fictional characters.

>>716431568 (OP)
they were kind of in purgatory. I never once thought of them as boyfriend girfriend but peach was of course never allowed to have a prince either. It's like mario is a knight in service of a celibate queen.

>>716432283
Maybe not your average fictional characters, but Mario is one of the most important fictional characters in history.

>>716432482
No, he really isn't.

>>716432482
>>716432854
To movie bob, he is.

>>716432886
Who?

>>716431946
Duh. If Adult Pauline kept her personality as Kid Pauline, on top of her putting on a city-wide celebration to win over Mario, on top of Peach rejecting him, then Mario was an idiot for not staying with Pauline to begin with.

But of course, changing the status-quo is not something the Mario games should ever attempt.

he should stop saving her then

>>716431568 (OP)
More like /v/chuds celebrate. Mario's one of us.
Incel Mario arc soon

>>716431568 (OP)
>>716431741
no wonder nintendo fans overlap with ntr fans

>>716431568 (OP)
did anyone think they were a couple? when did they ever do anything romantic together?

So Peach canonically now just casually gets impregnated and delivers Mario's children? Kinda based ngl

>>716431568 (OP)
Bowserbros stay winning

>>716431568 (OP)
he won btw.

>>716432881
Nigga this isn't even a Stellar Blade thread and this shit shows up?

>>716433167
she kissed Mario on the nose once and he went wahoo

>>716431568 (OP)
Can someone explain why would a company from the nation that has been in a population crisis for decades would go out of their way to claim that the "definitely fucking" characters in their kids' games are merely friends and nothing more?
I have a feeling that might influence kids not to pursue any relationships and therefore help the crisis.

>peach is now canonically single
>free for pure Otaku fantasies
>everyone losing their shit instead
Make up your minds pathetic losers

>>716431568 (OP)
Bowsered

>>716431638
???
Link's real girlfriend is dead, how could he be winning?

>>716431568 (OP)
That's because Peach is built for BBC (Big Bowser Cock)

>>716433454
Internal Pauline favoritism.

>>716431568 (OP)
Peach did kiss Mario twice, in Mario 64 and Mario Bros DS.

>>716431728
Peach rejected Bowser in Odyssey on-screen, although it was technically in every game since she didn't just stay with him or refuse to be saved like the useless little cocksleeve she is.

>>716433656
Least gay blackedtranny.

>>716433624
I wonder if he canonically ate out her sushi coochie

>>716431568 (OP)
bowers bros we are so back

>>716433707
Wrong. It's encouraging getting a wife and having a kid with a realistic figure. Peach is too much of a fancy fairy tale, so all she can be is a sex fantasy. The japs have gone fucking insane and they think they can socially engineer shit through crap like this.

>>716433748
>Manlet shitalian fan seething
Lol, you lost

>>716433732
Nsmb ds was so good

>NINTENDO SAYS YOU SHOULD LOCK UP YOUR PENIS IN A CAGE
>RESETERA TROONS POSTING ON /V/: YAAASSSSSS

>>716431728
>>716433253
>>716433790
Bowserbros will never win until Nintendo reveals who he fucked to make Jr.

how is this news

>>716433454
They didn't.
This is just shit based off of shitty NoA localizations.

>>716433454
why would they say "yes they are fucking" like why care in the first place is what i'm wondering

if it's supposed to be for children then that shouldn't even be brought up

>>716434047
This proves that the Mario and Peach leaked sex tape was a hoax.

>Koopa kids (no relation)
>Baby Bowser (no relation)

>>716434205
the world has gone mad and adults ARE children now, in excess majority

>>716431568 (OP)
what about Luigi and Daisy? did she make a statue of them together as a sign of strong friendship

>>716431946
I wish I could believe this but eveeybosy in the Mushroom Kingdom does this as a victory pose.

>>716431568 (OP)
so mario and link are just canon cuck simps now? DK is an asexual pedophile too then if nutendo makes a statement about him

>>716432854
>>716432283
K

>>716431946
>implying he didn't fuck both
no knight has ever rescued a princess from a castle because only because it was the right thing to do

>>716431568 (OP)
>All according to keikaku.

Yeah, because if you think Pauline, the canonically ex-gf of Mario was completely unrelated, you can think it again.

>>716434297
They're just really good friends.

>>716431568 (OP)
Mario got cucked
Meanwhile sonic is pushing gay tranny shit
What went wrong

>>716431638
non canon
Tingle won

>>716434536
>Meanwhile sonic is pushing gay tranny shit
really?

>What went wrong
social media

>>716434314
But Mario is in a relationship with Pauline.

>>716434727
the fact that he got together with anyone is mindblowing to me, you'd think they'd keep him an incel

>>716434727
Weraing denim is genetic?

>>716434335
>pedo
he has candy kong, fake fan.

>>716434832
>Weraing denim is genetic?
it's called chekov's gun anon

>>716431568 (OP)
Lol mario is the biggest simp in the game doing all that hard work and peach cant slide him some pussy

How does this help bring Japan's birthrate up again?

>>716434832
By cartoon logic, yes.
The offspring of two characters can literally look like those two characters merged together.

>>716434727
Mario lore fags are mentally ill

Micky and Mini are just dating but that sure as hell doesn't stop anyone from making them married. Same with Mario and Peach, some things just transcend the canon.

>>716433942
He was mpregged and birthed Jr.

>>716435002
Well, let's see.
If Super Mario has a daughter with Mayor Pauline, then perhaps the people of Japan will be more motivated to marry and reproduce, because their favorite video game character married and reproduced?

>>716431568 (OP)
https://files.catbox.moe/8ezk00.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1Nks_C0vpI
What's next? Peach was trans all along?

>>716435002
This news has completely demolished Japan's birthrate.
Now all Japanese women are only interested in giant spiked turtle dragons.

>>716431568 (OP)
Did they asked Miyamoto?
or a random post of a random branch is considered canon now?

>>716433942
If I remember correctly Miyamoto is Jr.'s mother.

>>716435929
That was meant to be a joke.

>>716435220
Mickey and Minnie are married in Kingdom Hearts and only in KH. I honestly can't think of any other continuity where they are married.

>>716431883
According to the french translation of the game...
>Peach is her mom
>Luigi is her father
He'd be banging his niece if he did that.
>>716431741
>Zelda and link not a couple...
Correct. They desperately WANT to be a couple, but she is Royalty who must have an arranged marriage.
Unsure if they ever hook up or are just stuck pining over each other.
>Peach and Mario
>Kissing
Bitch kisses him on the cheek.
Mario sunshine hints are confusion that Peach is Bowser Jrs mom which Peach doesn't deny meaning most likely Bowser and Peach have fucked.
Maybe we need to come to the realization that Peach will have sex with dudes transactionally or for funsies and is kinda a slut.

>spend 40 years rescuing this harlot from the grasps of a parasocial toad
>save her in odyssey just to get rejected and left on the moon with said toad
>nintendo come out years later and say that peach doesn't love you
Mario bros ...

>>716431568 (OP)
Half the toad council has to give guidance on the exact wording of peach needing a specific plumber to lay pipe every night. They can't call it a relationship to save face.

Daisy is the clear winner here. She doesn't give a fuck what her country thinks and bagged Luigi.

>>716436896
what is daisy princess of?

>>716431568 (OP)
So? He's too busy fucking Goombella anyway.

Mario is for Bowsette anyway

>>716431946
didn't mario canonically date pauline

>>716436579
I always thought a FireEmblem game from Bowsers POV that explained why Bowser keeps kidnapping peach would be amazing. I actually had the outline for a story.
>The Mushroom Kingdoms Neighbors are under attack by a Magical interdimensional enemy using magic to do horrible things to neighbor realms.
>However, it is not blind existential aggression, they have built some strategic alliances, use the excuse of them not asking to be brought to this realm let alone and subject to kings and queens who do not represent them, and that their regicides are just. It's a half truth, they seek resources too, but this is the justification.
>The Mushroom kingdom can see the Trajectory of these attacks and their resources of gold and rare fungus and see they are next and in secret try and build an alliance against the new nation who takes down kingdoms
>They appeal to the neutral Koopa Kingdom
>Koopa kingdom has strong units, but lacks in certain resources. Originally tell the Mushroom Kingdom "They don't want anything of ours, if their people appear in our borders we allow free passage back to their nations and we have no qualms. Fight your own battles"
>However a very young princess peach begins crying, saying how wrong it is to let her and her people be slaughtered like dogs, and a very young, handsome bowser hears these pleas and asks his father to perhaps reconsider
>Bowser has yet to "battle harden" yet. So his scales, spikes shell, etc. Have not yet developed.
>The king reconsiders, offers an exchange of protection for a Marraige between Mushroom Kingdom and Koopa kingdom.
>Peach is excited by this as Bowser is attractive and only slightly older. Bowser is not attracted to Peach as she is still a child, but realizes the importance arranged marriage alliances and that she will eventually grow up.
So what does this new agreement to fight a nonthreat on behalf of their neighbors cost Bowser? Everything.
>Mom and dad are assasinated.
>War ruins him mentally
Pt1

>>716431741
He IS italian.

>>716436727
The peach thing is just a political theater.
Sometimes literally, like SMB3

>>716431568 (OP)
>/v/chuds on SUICIDE WATCH
I've seen plenty of people here insist they arent a couple either

>>716438273
Pt2
>This war takes much longer than anticipated. They were stronger than previously thought and Mushroom Kingdom is stingy with any support.
Bowser and Peachy become close However, and as she becomes a shapely woman he begins to get feelings for her and they both look forward to the marriage.
>The war having gone on too long, they change tactics and go offensive.
>sadly, the only way to stop this interdimensional nation from growing, is genocide.
>Genocide is seem as a universal evil in all realms. After all a baby cannot help who they were born to. However the existence of their people in this realm is attracting more people to their world.
>And going offensive cause Bowser to finally become battle hardered. His spiked shell long claws and tough scaled skin may not be beautiful, but it is deadly.
>he does this for her. He does this for her kingdom. He is becoming the worse monster so that she may avoid suffering.
>Once the genocide campaign is over, Mushroom Kingdom renigs on their promise
>Peach is no longer attracted to the ugly monster and refuses go marry him
>They use excuses such as "there could have been another way"
So now Bowser, having lost his parents to this war his family didn't have to fight and never wanted, having lost his beauty to violent war, having his innocence stolen by the battle field, and having lost the love of someone he initially didn't want that he grew to love but who grew to hate him for reciprocating her love, decides he is going to get what he is owed.
>Invades Mushroom kingdom
>But minimizes casualties with limited occupations and focuses on kidnapping the princess above all else.
I always thought this would make for an incredible game. Explains why Bowser keeps kidnapping the same bitch, explains peaches weird not full hate but definitely doesn't like Bowser relationship, explains the different realms, explains why Koopa Kingdom doesn't just go scorched earth invasion on Mushroom Kingdom...

>>716436579
>"official" translation
may as well cite fanfiction

>>716431568 (OP)
The grifters are getting a lot of milage out of putting words into Nintendos mouth.

>>716433732
>Peach rejected Bowser in Odyssey on-screen, although it was technically in every game
But she did consider it, anon. She actually fucking considered it.

>>716433942
>mama? i’m your… mama?
Shouldn’t that be evidence enough of something previously happening?

>>716434832
“Genes” is pronounced “jeans” for a reason, anon.

why do these threads still get replies? theres been like 50 of them today.

>>716438009
Yeah, which means they canonically fucked too.
>Bowser fucked Miyamoto since he's Bowser Jr's mom
>Mario and Pauline FUCKED
>Cranky Kong and DK Sr. got laid
Everyone else are virgins

Japs love shipping cartoons with realistic women. Amy and Peach stood no chance. Madonna and Pauline? They won btw.

>>716440214
Hiro needs site engagement.

>>716432854
there's probably not a single person who doesn't know mario. he's that famous

Marinebros, we won.

>>716440667
Well, I mean, Pauline is clearly inspired by Jessica Rabbit

>>716431568 (OP)
>let's make our brand icon character a cuck
Why?

Nintendo fans? More like NTR fans

why is romance between a White man and a White woman all but verboten in media now?

>>716431728
it was always canon

>>716445687
white pussy belongs to bbc(big bowser cock)

>>716443312
nope

>>716432109
yea, he gets the benefit of saving her, while bowser uses her like a fleshlight

>>716445885
so why did dk crash out and began kidnapping her after bananza?
super weird he developed feelings for pauline despite knowing her since she was a kid

>>716445885
They're just good friends.

>>716445749
>>716445828
>>716445938
kys you mexican faggot

>>716446163
>so why did dk crash out and began kidnapping her after bananza?
did he kidnap her? we already know mario is an unreliable narrator

>>716446269
im american

It really flies in the face of what this video was about.

https://youtu.be/SszfZ3n52nY

>>716446518
now that's a classic, but for me it's https://youtu.be/2afkGHk24Zk?si=5y4MTJRP8g7JELW2

>>716433115
finally someone said it

>>716446374
A donkey born in a horse stable does not make for a horse

>>716443312
ah thats the stuff

>>716431568 (OP)
NINTENDO FANS = KEKOLDS
NINTENDO FANS = KEKOLDS
NINTENDO FANS = KEKOLDS

>>716431568 (OP)
They are just doing idol shit with peach so lonely virgins in Japan wont kill themselves

No shit,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mO26RQkfID8

>JP writer: these characters are close to each other
>NA troonslator: these characters are great friends
>urinalists: (HOT SCOOP) Nintendo confirms Mario never had sex
Kill everyone involved and everyone in this thread (including me)

>>716431568 (OP)
so...she's available
>:)

>>716431937
Daisy pegs Luigi on the regular. We've known this for half a decade

NOOOOOOOOO WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY JUST LET ME SEE MARIO FUCK PEACH LET HIM WIN ONCE

Mario and Peach aren't a thing? That means she's still on the market

>>716449961
>g-glorious nippon would never make my hero a cuck!
kekaroo

Reminder that actual heterosexual women prefer Peach being with Bowser

>>716450156
who are you quoting

>>716432109
how come peach makes me want to BE her?

>>716431568 (OP)
Mario shouldn't have broken up with Pauline. Now he's an incel forever chasing unattainable royal pussy.

>>716431568 (OP)
They didnt say that

>Mario is an incel
>Sonic refuses to fuck Amy, and keeps chasing after human/humanoid girls
>Crash gets his girlfriend removed and gets an ugly girl boss version of her
Platformer bros...

>>716431568 (OP)
Why are companies so averse to showing cartoon characters in happy relationships? I don't get it.

>>716450494
And Pauline became a bombshell major/popular singer. Mario should have never chased after that shroombunny.

>>716447915
I'm white bro

>>716431568 (OP)
We ALL know Mario is after Bowser's cloaca & monstercock. He ain't rescuing Peach game after game after game for nothing!

Based

LUIGI WON!
DK WON!!
SONIC WON!!!

>>716451252
Imagine Bowser’s hulking throbbing spiked girth penetrating… stretching… sliding in and out Peach’s delicate, quivering pink pussy…

Why are tendies into NTR shit? Weirdos

>>716434297
>Luigi didn't invite her to the hotel in luigi's mansion 3
luigi x daisy is one-sided at best

>>716445828
>>716431728
YABBA DABBA DOO

>>716431568 (OP)
Bowser x Peach confirmed

>>716431568 (OP)
>BRUH TWO CHARACTERS FROM A NON-STORY BASED FRANCHISE AREN'T FUCKING!
Genuinely
Truly
Honestly
Who the fuck CARES?

>>716451057
STOP! THIS IS BAD BECAUSE IT'S KEK SHIT
Even though Mario and Peach are not a couple thus it cannot be cuck shit
BUT IT IS KEK SHIT

>>716450226
A retard politico. So, (You)

>>716456216
It’s just shitposting for shits and giggles. There isn’t even sex in the Mario universe since babies literally come from storks.

>>716433285
one of the best protagonist and i don't even play this game (yet)

KEKio gets this shit for saving the universe while CHADigi plaps his brown tomboy in his mansion. SAD!

>>716456278
I still think most people that aren’t mentally ill freaks don’t really like seeing a beautiful sweet girl getting fucked by a giant turtle monster

So its canon then?

>>716451057
>>716457037
I like this artist's art, despite being such a weird dyke

>>716431568 (OP)
I feel bad for Peach. Getting friendzoned like that.

Haha pathetic little bitch

Did people forget that Peach is already engaged to Haru?

Guys?
The license plate on this taxi reads "2025-ND", indicating that Donkey Kong Bananza might take place in the future.

>>716457037
>>716455386
YABBA

>>716457134
Peach is built for Nonny's pumpies~

>>716431568 (OP)
Mario if he's a cuck

Not even the hero of his own movie

Hope he livestreams his unlifeing

>>716434205
he doesn't mean it literally, he means confirm they are in a relation ship, the same way Mario and Pauline were confirmed to be in a relationship. but also stop being a faggot space jam did it and no one cared.

>>716434727
paulinefag, mario will still be considered a cuck regardless.

>>716431568 (OP)
Non-canon movie

>>716437251
Trvke!

>>716457370
The evidence just keeps piling up

>>716444774
How?

>>716431568 (OP)
No shit, did people not play any Mario games?

>>716431568 (OP)
>>716436727
The whole point of the damsel in distress trope is to teach young men that getting a gf is hard WORK and that you will have to protect women... but if you step up women will appreciate your efforts.
The fact that Mario tries his best and sacrifices for Peach but receives nothing in return is far more realistic in modern times. Good change, set boys expectations early. In fact, Peach should start resenting and shaming Mario, too.

>>716434335
I know this is hard for you to understand, but no one is fucking anyone in Nintendo games

>>716457927
>no one is fucking anyone in Nintendo g-

>>716434916
he went after pauline multiple times after candy was introduced.

>>716431568 (OP)
just realized every single japanese protag in video games and anime gets cucked by their own fanbase even if the canon material pairs them appropriately like naruto and hinata. why can't japan write a convincing male heterosexual hero so the fans don't perceive them as cucks like link and mario? or did nintendo always subtly brainwashing young men into being simps and cucks and we were all too stupid to notice until now?

>>716458061
>posts a game from the famicom
Anon, cmon now

>>716458160
>doesn't count
ENTER everyone's favorite family man.

>>716458153
Even in Isekai where the mc has a harem, only a few of them actually are shown to fuck the girls

There's really no winning
>She's either getting plowed by a fat hairy italian midget
or
>She's having bestiality sex with a giant lizard, also it has NTR vibes

Prince Haru would probably be the best option for her, but he's not canon.

>>716436579
>They desperately WANT to be a couple, but she is Royalty who must have an arranged marriage.
Okay, that makes sense for 85% of the games, but come on. Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom? There are no rules, because Zelda is the only royal left. Same with Wind Waker.

>>716431568 (OP)
So they really are trying to bring back this duo... but why?

>>716431568 (OP)
belongs to bowser

>>716457927
XBC2/3

>>716458394
Original pairing always the best, same reason childhood friend love interest is always the best

>>716434335
>asexual pedophile

>>716458527
We legit needs Koopa Queen

>>716436896
>Daisy is the clear winner here. She doesn't give a fuck what her country thinks and bagged Luigi.
this

>>716458527
Is Bowser a good husband?

>>716458698
Tomboy Princess > Bimbo Princess

>>716431568 (OP)
Mario should get with Wendy O

>>716437126
Sarasaland, which is actually multiple kingdoms in itself, thus making it an empire. Thus, Daisy is set to become Empress, meaning Luigi is going to become Emperor if he marries her.

>>716458394
My guess is that Shigeru Miyamoto probably wants everything to come full circle before he gets old and passes away.
He probably wants Mario and Pauline to have a daughter so that the developers can have a blank slate of some sort.
When Miyamoto leaves, he won't be there to make sure the developers don't mess up the characters or the gameplay.

>>716458735
He's already a 10/10 dad, so good chance he'd at least be an alright husband.

You all are such dumb niggers for taking this so seriously. What were you expecting them to say, that mario and peach fuck off camera after every game? This is just how long running franchises with broad appeal work. They never commit to anything

>>716458958
Seems strange that Miyamoto wants people to accept Mario and Pauline, but the movie he supervised retcons that part of Mario.

>>716459060
they said pauline was marios gf, no reason they couldn't do the same for peach.

>>716458735
Of course he is. All that "GRR I'M GONNA FORCE YOU TO BE MINE" shit is mostly just because he's trying to look cool and intimidating. Underneath it all, Bowser really does just want to be sweet to Peach

Luigi is so lucky.....

>>716459060
>What were you expecting them to say, that mario and peach fuck off camera after every game?
It is essential lore to know anon.

>>716431741
>Good news for the Rosalina x Mario shippers

Anyone who "ships" anything is a faggot who should be burned alive.

>>716459190
I think it would be similar to how Rare DK still exists in the theme parks based on DKC Returns and DKC Tropical Freeze.

>>716459447
That is strange too. The current design for DK had to have been planned around the same time they were making that theme park ride. It was the movie producers using the original design that got him excited after all. Miyamoto's brain nowadays really gives me a headache.

New Donkers are made for New Donkers

>>716440045
That same game has
>Jr., I've got something... difficult... to tell you about Princess Peach...
>I know she's not actually my mama.
at the end

>>716458916
>multiple kingdoms in itself, thus making it an empire
Kings and Queens can rule multiple kingdoms without calling themselves emperor or empress, though their multiple kingdoms are usually still called an empire when combined.
So it could still be King Luigi and Queen Daisy regardless(but Emperor and Empress in all but name).

>>716440045
I think Peach would remember giving birth.
>Stork
That would make sex non-canon

IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT
They literally have to say this because their relationship status is reset at the end/beginning of each game and if they were a canon couple they would be flirty in the sports/kart games and in those games they are more like good friends for the sake of keeping neutral character relations or basically the status quo is they are friends who get together and kiss but then its reset they can never be an official couple or it would be Queen Peach and King Mario and thats not what the games are about

>>716458981
>lets his kid constantly put himself in danger getting into retardation that could end up him getting himself killed by a fat plumper
No

>>716460143
its been retconned

>>716460071
>not letting your kid have a bit of fun
okay mr. helicopter parent

>>716460046
>and if they were a canon couple they would be flirty in the sports/kart games and in those games they are more like good friends for the sake of keeping neutral character relations
They must have a shitty relationship if they can't balance romance and friendly competitive rivalry.

every mario game is now a humiliation ritual

>>716450683
Pacman is married

>>716431638
fpbp

movies for kids have romance and appeal for adults

>>716431959
woman only need two, and she will pick the "winner"

>>716431741
>Mario is a cuck
>people freak out
>Link is a cuck
>nobody bats an eye because everyone JUST KNEW
kek

>>716460046
slop poster

>>716431568 (OP)

duh, everyone knows who Bowser's main squeeze is

So, they really going back to Pauline?
Is Peach going to end up with Bowser? Enemies to lovers and beauty and beast tropes?

>>716465937
Pauline is for DK

>>716431568 (OP)
Doesn't this make things weirder? What were they thinking?

>>716466165
DK is basically her older brother or father figure with the reboot.

Major conspiracy: so bowser was married and his wife looked exactly like bowsette but in the past there was a conflict between bowser and the mushroom kingdom and peach got involved in the fight and fought bowsers wife but something bad happened and she died and peach being unable to tell bowser the truth covered it all up and she just plays along when bowser kidnaps her. Source: I made it the fuck up

>>716465937
Damn, Mario left THIS for that snowbunny?

>>716458153
this isn't even about Japan, it's about Nintendo fucking kiddifying their shit even more than it already was and pacifying feminazis mad at the heterosexual tropes inherent in a damsel in distress

>>716457393
Need a princess like this

>>716431568 (OP)
LUIGI WON

>>716431568 (OP)
Peach likes BLC (Big Lizard Cocks) and not tiny italian peckers.

>>716466506
>DK is basically her older brother
And thats how Japan works anon...

If you are Nintendo, how do you promote a game intended for the 8-12 agerange to a group of 20-30 year old men? Pedophilia.

>>716431568 (OP)
that's okay, nintenjeets love to watch

>>716431741
hahahahahahahahah
nintenjeets love to watch peach getting it on with bowser, and zelda getting wrecked by ganondorf

>>716431568 (OP)
This isn't even news to anyone that's played Odyssey.

>>716431568 (OP)
Nah. I don't believe it.

>>716431741
>Link and Zelda are just friends
>TotK confirms Link and Zelda are living in the same house
>That house only has one bed

???

>>716474264
link sleeps on the floor curled up like a dog

A reminder to all that women mostly ship and draw art for peach and mario while trannies mostly ship and draw art for bowser and peach.

>>716476298
do you have any evidence of your schizophrenic claim "sir"?

>>716476616
I dunno, have you gotten over sucking dicks?

All this cuck posting, now remind me again how are the redditors are le cucks but 4chaners are le ebic basedo chuds?
What a fucking shithole.

>>716477052
how am I a cuck because cartoon characters dont have sex, get a fucking grip

>>716477152
Look through the thread retard, half of it is cuckshit filth.

I mean... I know that Peach is a massive slut, but I totally understand that even she doesn't want that tiny greasy italian smegma smelling willy from a dirty and sweaty fat plumber midget

>>716477152
Right…weird that you felt called out.

>>716477052
I actually self-insert as Bowser because he's an incel like me and I'm glad he won and I mean that unironically.

>>716477540
who are you replying to

>>716431568 (OP)
Shit like this is why you have to constantly bully your corporate overlords, the Metroid fanbase learned this with Other M

>>716434574
>Meanwhile sonic is pushing gay tranny shit
the comics. which is now canon.

>>716431568 (OP)
WE WERE WARNED AGES AGO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK21eO-tPDw

>>716431568 (OP)
Of course not. Mario is her knight.