Thread 33559171

The thread to get things off your chest

>>33559171 (OP)
Wrong OP image, woops

I've stopped enjoying my free time, the only time I have my hopes, the only time I have dreams is when I'm at work, surrounded by people who like me and force me to improve, who push me to be someone I want to be.
When I'm off work I'm haunted by her face, I'm haunted by my old actions towards her, I need to put the childish things away, I want to tear my computer apart, run away from it all, really just get my head in order.

I need to fight, I want to fight, for something new, for something that really means forever.

>>33559171 (OP)
Took too many edibles last night and the woods was calling my name, couldn't go there though because I lost my hiking boots. After that I just stared at the sky as I melted into it. Best drug experience in a while

All I wanted to do was marry her, why can't I let her go? I want the pain to stop but I can't seem to let it go

>>33559342
Did you even talk about marriage with her or only after the breakup

>>33559358
I proposed to her, she said yes. She changed a lot, would play my heart like the fiddle, what was love became resentment, she threw every insult she could at me and I psychologised them, instead of putting my foot down I folded, I left and I seemingly have regretted it every single day since.

>>33559342
How long ago was it, how did it end, what have you done in the meantime?

>>33559171 (OP)
I have a "girlfriend" right now and she only visits me and weekends. We have sex, your obligatory cuddling, sex again and we go out eating/fun activities/etc. Her jobs restricts her somewhat from visiting me during the week, but she may or may not lose her job in the coming months and she rejects the idea of moving in to me. I hate it, he doesn't want kids and she likes out weekend "arrangements" since she can concentrate on herself during the week. I want more, and since I can't get it from her, I am planning on leaving her...

I'm 24, have career success where I am almost a decade younger than my peers. At the company that is my dream job. Have a house.
And yet, I am still unhappy.
A mentor said I needed to find something not career related, which I may have but idk. It doesn't feel like it fills the void.
Maybe this is a byproduct of fucking up my day job a bit here and there.

>>33559386
Damn sounds like she just wanted you to prove your love but you got fed up and miss her. Have you considered tail between the legs begging for her back

>>33559418
did u tell her about ur feelings upfront?

>>33559418
I did this with my bf for like 7 months before we just couldn't take it anymore (weekends only because 3 hour drive), he got a new job and moved over to be with me. She weekend-zoned you, dude, I think you are right to leave her right now before you get more attached and your feelings are hurt. Nobody is in the wrong but I'm sorry I think if she really loved you she would want to compromise somehow. Good luck

>>33559455
After sometime, I told her that I like her very much and I would love the idea of moving in together.
>>33559472
>Nobody is in the wrong but I'm sorry I think if she really loved you she would want to compromise somehow. Good luck
We're having a 2 week vacation trip coming up, and after that I am going to leave her. I couldn't bring it up before that because we really wanted this vacation, planned and booked beforehand. Don't get me wrong, we really have fun together, but as you said, she doesn't even try to find a middle ground. And everytime she leaves, I am growing a bit colder.

>>33559410
3 years ago? 6 years I knew her, dated for 3 of those, it ended after I left because it was just a whirlwind of pain - she implied I was a bum (which was true) who couldn't provide the healthcare she needed, she started avoiding me, claimed I used her just for sex, withdrew sex from me, told me to use porn rather than look at her, claimed everyone was out to rape her, compared me to someone who groomed her, but then asking me to come see her, it was painful and all I remember is that it got too overwhelming so I left. I felt like I was being pushed off a cliff.
Life wise I've picked myself up a lot, I got fit again, massive change of career, already on the most money I've ever been on, about to be on even more, finally got a lot of things boxed off with the intention of doing even more. I'm hopeful and happy for the future, I just wish I could have someone to love as much as I loved her.
>>33559440
Yeah, a few times I don't think she wants me whatsoever. As I said I wish I could have told her to shut up and really put my foot down, it's something I know now but I didn't back then as I just loved her so much, I was too soft I think.

>>33559502
Wait, that's actually sad though. The two week vacation gives me a different perspective on this, as a woman. I would NEVER go on a vacation that long with a guy I wasn't serious about. That sucks that she views you that seriously but it isn't enough for you. Maybe consider a come to Jesus talk before pulling out the rug from under her? Like no joking, just laying shit out plainly

>>33559502
>After sometime, I told her that I like her very much and I would love the idea of moving in together.

That’s a start but it doesn’t really say ‘this is so important to me that I’m thinking of leaving you if we don’t move our relationship forward’. She may not know how important it is to you because you have a good time when you are together.
You should go on vacation then have a serious conversation without going into it with the intent to break up if you do want this to work.

My therapist thinks there is a better than likely chance I'm on the autistic spectrum, and could possibly have some form of asperger's. It does explain a lot of what a bloody wreck I was a kid, but I can't believe no one around me considered it a possibility. I guess it was because my family was full of high achieving extroverts who thought I was lazy/stupid/etc.

>>33559522
Look, I really love her, and I would even look after her even if she became unemployed. I’ve always presented her with the idea of "moving in together" in a more or less humorous way, but I always encountered a defensive reaction about it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want kids right now, but I would very much like to live together with her and share my days with her. Even that seems impossible to her. And she always tells me to be "content with what I have." It pains me

I'm 32 and feel like I should have felt when I was 20. I'm open to new things, not so bitter, waaay less shy, less judgemental and just ready to face defeat and embarrassment. I wish it hadn't taken me so fucking long to get here.

>>33559585
U seem kinda bitter that ur not 20

>>33559580
I wonder if the threat of losing you would be the kick in the ass she needs. Good luck, anon. Hope you guys still have a fun vacation.

>>33559512
That's rough anon, I went through something similar. It sounds like your ex had a lot of mental disorders and traumas. That isn't your fault. I think you made the right move by leaving her, and you've definitely made the right moves post-breakup.

Are there things you could have done better? Of course. But listen, it isn't your job to fix her problems and never was. That's how a lot of us get when we're in relationships with mentally ill people - we take on the burden of fixing them, and as the relationship progresses, we put up with more and more abuse. You did the right thing by breakup up when it got too bad. Some people refuse to leave and just get ground down into nothing. That's pretty much what happened to me, personally. And I viewed the relationship's collapse as entirely my fault, because I had taken on all the responsibility. Even her own mother, whom I talked to multiple times after the breakup for various reasons, told me I was too hard on myself and that her daughter had problems no one could fix. And I still didn't believe it for a long time.

The thing about emotionally turbulent relationships is, they leave a huge indent in your brain. It's because your brain is responding to extreme stimuli. My ex used to scream and threaten to kill herself out of nowhere, for example. And overreact to all sorts of random things. I started muting myself to not set her off which led to self-erasure. I'm glad it didn't get as far for you.

But point being, of course you still think about her. The relationship engraved important synapses because it felt it was a matter of survival. That doesn't just go away, even if we wish it would. Wishing doesn't change physical reality. And of course you'll even miss her and miss what connection you had. That's all completely normal. I feel the exact same shit, even if it's annoying.

Watching this channel helped me a lot after my breakup, maybe it could give you some insight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XaOZJzh-2E

>>33559609
I fear that she may not get the idea at all. And if she doesn't, I still want a nice vacation with her. I don't hate her, but our fundamental understanding of a partnership differs too much. Either this vacation will open up new possibilities, or it will end up as a nice "ending".

Thanks for listening, Anon.

>>33559545
Same dude! My family just thought I was a weirdo because I was into really niche crap and rearranged stuff. They didn’t believe me when I said that I probably have it, but I knew it from the start that I had it.

>>33559171 (OP)
>>33559176
Nope they were still mean biches

>>33559652
I think what hurts the most is how pure that love felt with her, friends I've talked to since who knew her have said similar that she probably was crazy the entire time, with her traumas and mental issues only showing her "true" colours when she unravelled in front of me over those last few months we were together.

I seemingly have this duty bound on my heart to her though, I loved her, I proposed to her because I wanted to wake up beside her every day until I died and it's hard to part with that. For me at least it has been.

I hate that I still love her as the woman I loved rather than the woman I left. Ironically I dated a woman with BPD after her and it's as you described, I muted myself, I felt like I was talking to a minefield every day I would have this knowing stress in the back of my head that it had to come to an end.

And when it did... It was simple and clean, like a weight had been lifted but I saw who she was clearly and my mind hasn't changed on her... It bothers me that I can see with such clarity on all these other women I've been with, but not my Ex-fiance even when I can say to you Anon, she was awful to me in the end, my heart still wishes she was mine, wished I could have protected her, had children with her.

It's stupid, I hope I get over this terrible affliction soon and for good.

>>33559850
I'm sure what you had in the beginning of the relationship was real. I doubt she "showed her true colors" or anything like that. Lots of people will say that, they've said it to me as well. But in reality, women are very emotionally turbulent creatures. I don't doubt that she loved you when you thought she did. But things changed. You're romanticizing the past, and again, part of that is simply the impression she's made in your brain. And it's most likely permanent, just like anything that happened to you as a kid, especially if it was emotionally intense, and especially if it happened over and over - your brain remembers it forever on some level. You can cope with it through exercises and train yourself out of it as best you can, but it will always be there somewhat. You're going to remember your ex for the rest of your life. But what you can do is stop romanticizing the past. You can look at what you had as an example of what you want for a future relationship - you know what you want to have. All we can do is learn from the past and try to consciously understand why we feel the way we do.

As for why this didn't happen with the other chick, I think the answer is just simply that you were not over your previous ex. The fact that you still think about her and not the more recent girl is pretty telling.

>>33559917
Yeah, I didn't mean it like it was a lay and wait trap for me, we did love each other for a very long time, still have pictures of us and from our eyes alone you can see the pools of love we had for each other, it was pure, it was sweet. So for her to shift as she did it hurt a lot, still does clearly.

I know I want a woman like her again, I love verbal wit, I love play, I love a chase and our dynamic was second to none, a woman who can make me smile like that I would love nothing more than it.

And you're right but I mean it that the relationships before her and the one after I've taken off any rose tint and see them for what they were, the people they were, the lessons I've needed to take, with my Ex-fiance I seem to have rose tint welded to my face no matter how hard I try to move forward and through my mind returns to her.

I am trying, I need to do better

it's over.

Idk what happened. My ex that I was still cool with, or so I thought, unfollowed me the other day and I don’t know why. I unfollowed back obviously. But literally had a pleasant enough back and forth weeks ago, no interactions in between. I wish she had done it earlier, I wasn’t trying to get back with her. Just so random.

I've been a people manager for the last 4 years and I'm incredibly tired of dealing with the social degeneracy, the unobtainable goals, and the shitty people in general. I'm tired of the dating scene and half my check going to bills and rent.

Today I jerked off with a vr headset and a point of clarity hit me. What if I ditched all this human management, ditched my well paying but stressful job for something simpler, and just lived at my parents house fapping to vr porn and playing vidya while watching anime.

I'd die a forever alone virgin but I wouldn't have to deal with the burdens of dating, burdens of management, the burdens of owning a house, the burdens of starting a family, or the burdens of my future.

>>33560291
To add on to this thought I feel like my adult life is compromised entirely of making other people/corporation's lives easier just for no one to ever return the favor to me
I don't know if this is what it means to be a man or if this is the end goal of a consumerist society

its not over yet. even with a lot of it i cant change, i can still compensate elsewhere and otherwise. i will keep clawing. its gotten me somewhere at least. not what i want, but i will keep clawing.

I love you niggas. Out of all the boards that I browse, this is the one that affects me the most. If I were to ask for advice anywhere else, be it with my family or reddit, I would be given a sugar coated answer that I feel doesn't reflect reality. Not saying that I always trust you guys but your takes on my questions are usually insightful and help me come to resolution.

>>33560668
I love you too nigga.

last time i was as lonely as i am now was when i was 13/14.
both caused by the a very similar situation too, i only just realized this after writing out this post.
if i was able to get over it before then surely i'll be able to again this time around, i just hope it happens sooner than later. i did some stupid things to myself back then when i was going through this and even though i have matured, my mind will never full block out doing those things again.

>>33560668
I love you

>>33559171 (OP)
>>33558179
I'm sorry to tell you, but it sounds like he was planning to commit suicide...

Feeling sad, Gonna masturbate

God, I'm so sorry. I do nothing but disappoint you and everybody else. I wish I was better, but I can't be. I'm sorry.

>>33559171 (OP)
It's been less than two months since you cut me off completely, just under four since we last saw each other. I still cling to the hope that you'll forgive me. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I told you losing you would shatter me, sometimes I wonder if you truly ever loved me. I know we'd both say hurtful things while drinking but we'd always make up by the end of the night or the next day at the latest. You know I would never do what I did if I wasn't completely out of my mind. I'm so sorry.

>>33561067
God is not disappointed in you, he loves you and wants the best for you. You disappoint yourself (Which is an often good feeling to have, that is the sign of a repentant heart).

>>33561067
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEmNbGnDT3I

The keyboard on my phone is tiny. I make typos all the time and it pisses me off to no end. I cant figure put to make them just slightly bigger

>>33561360
My favorite is when autocorrect changes my words against my will to the wrong words

More minor vent than what I usually whine about but I hate that I can't be arsed to play vidya.... I wanna play games but my brain won't let me. It's like "oh this looks cool I gotta play through it" and then I NEVER FINISH IT beyond the first few minutes fml. Can't even get addicted to gaming what is wrong with me!!!!!!

DAMN IT, MY MOM'S BOYFRIEND HAS THE FUCKING WORDS ISRAEL TATTOOED ON HIS ARM.

>>33561367
That too, it'll even do it to correct spellings.

>>33559171 (OP)
No fuck you bitch balloon thats always being a fake nice person

Next year is gonna suteki desu ne

>>33559171 (OP)
I HATE BEING SCARED OF EVERYTHING!!!! WHY CAN'T I JUST GO DANCING AND SINGING WITHOUT BEING SCARED BEFORE HAND?? FUCKING HELP ME!! THIS IS GOOD FOR ME AND I ENJOY IT, THEN WHY IS FEAR SO PREVALENT IN ALL OF THIS?!??

Damn, I’m perpetuating the same thing she did to me. I have to stop being a pussy.

I'm scared to meet my friend again

Fantasizing about killing myself so people will feel bad for me and be sympathetic.

I was watching some porn the other day, guy getting a footjob in a park, decently hot, girl had a summer dress on, the fountain was pretty cool looking with an early 20th century aesthetic. But he was wearing a fucking Pokemon shirt with Pikachu and the gen 1 starters on. I'm unreasonably angry about that for some reason. He got some cum on it too.

For context I work in an assembly line in a factory.
So I got in trouble with HR last month. Main issues were being late, talking about video games during work hours, getting distracted and making mistakes. I admit that I don't get along with the person who complained to HR.

Earlier this year, my manager already gave me a positive performance with a pay raise. After the HR meeting, they told me that they were going to move me somewhere else and asked me to train ppl for my replacement. So that's what I've been doing for the past month.

Then last week I read an announcement on a computer that "(my name) will be removed from (department I work in)." Lately there's hasn't been much work to do since the company hired a lot of new people. The managers weren't clear on where they were going relocate me to. I'm afraid there might be good chance that I might be fired or at least forced to resign.

To prepare for that, I am looking at job postings and updated my resume. I'm also afraid that I might not be able to find a job for months, because of how shitty the job market is right now.

One promising place says "able to obtain security clearance," which means that the business would get the process started for me. It will include listing all the jobs you had, schools, family, addresses lived at, debt, drugs, mental health issues, criminal convictions and more. Plus it will have an interview with an investigator testing how honest you are. The whole process makes me nervous, but the pay is decent around $21/hr.

>>33559171 (OP)
Once when I was a teenager I had a super vivid dream where I was making out with my twin sister. It was extremely hot and I still think about it sometimes.

I don't know why you don't want to be friends. We fucked for a little over a year. We talked every single day. I'm left with a hole in my heart over what wasn't even a formal relationship. I would have given you space. You didn't need to cut off all contact and I don't fully understand why you wanted to.

I thought when this was over we could keep things the way they were minus the sex. That's what I always thought friends with benefits was about. It's confusing. It makes me feel like I did something wrong.

It was never going to progress, you had your own family and a petty ex-husband. We both knew that, at least I think you did. Maybe you expected a different answer when you said I'd have to meet your parents. But I want kids of my own one day, and that's something I want to start from zero. I pray that didn't hurt you.

I never thought I'd feel as defeated as I do now over this. All I can do now is hope you remember me long enough down the line where we could be friends for real. For now all I can do is cry clutching the bottle opener you bought me.

I just don't develop the Stockholm syndrome, I know it's weird nowadays and may even make me look like a sociopath

What a surprise, you ask how I feel and then your reaction is to be a miserable bitch and spin everything around the other way. This is why I never bother. You're a self-centred piece of shit who only pretends to care. You moan about your feelings being invalidated only to fo the same thing to me.

The stupid thing is, you're the depressed one who gets in foul moods over the tiniest fucking things, not me.

I'm sick of it anyway. You can go jump of a fucking cliff for all I care. Oh, and you're fucking deaf. Go for a hearing test.

>>33562679
Your first mistake was trying to understand me

>>33562502
I still want to be friends but you havn't made me feel like you want to - you have made me feel opposite, actually. I have so much love for you, that it makes me sad. I miss what was and you so much that I cry when I think of you.
Honestly, I still want you around and next to me.. something weird is what the little one has said and it put me on full protect mode. I am not saying anything wrong was done - I know nothing. But I trusted you more than anyone in my life. I wish you could rest your head on my chest.. we were so much more than sex.

You're literally nothing compared to me, I could make a bigger tulpa than you in a day

>>33562716
You really believe this too.

>>33562729
I could actually replace you with a better version of you, but you're not worth so much effort to prove a point

>>33562743
What's up with you? Why are you being hostile?

>>33562747
I have had enough of the "I may abuse you but you will miss me when I'm gone"

>>33562754
>I may abuse you
When did I abuse you? You got Foxbro.
>but you will miss me when I'm gone
That doesn't matter to me.

>>33562757
I'm quoting you

>>33562762
I never said that so no you're not. I quoted a song.

>>33562765
You think some made up loopholes matter to me, you need to get a grip

>>33562767
What are you even saying? You literally said you want nothing from me.

>>33562771
But I don't get nothing from you I get less than nothing

>>33562774
You never told me what you want. So what am I supposed to give?

I've told you 10 times that I want you to be nice and don't post anonymously

>>33562778
You want to filter me?

>>33562782
Not necessarily, but I want a choice

>>33562784
I'll just go to a thread you're not in, how about that?

>>33562788
I gave you a thread where I'm not there, more than once

>>33562793
It's cool, I'll find one.

>>33562795
I don't believe you, but would be nice

>>33562800
Okay.

I suggest looking on /lit/

>>33561677
Many such cases, you're playing the victim, stop it and stop blaming her.

>Queercoded
>Sad boy aesthetics
>Neurodivergence
>Slop this slop that
What the fuck does all of this even mean? When did people start speaking like this all of a sudden? I'll look back at a game or show I liked as a teen and now everyone is saying this sort of crap and ruining the atmosphere around it, I end up just keeping it to myself and avoiding all discussions. Have I been in a coma for the past five years or did the online world collectively go insane? Why does liking a certain fictional character from 20+ years ago immediately give me multiple labels now? It's as if enjoying something too much, or too little, immediately others you. What I enjoy doesn't define who I am you faggots.

>go to the website of my local purveyor of supplements
>search 'anxiety'
>first result is a sponsored position for period pain relief pills
help, i'm being bullied

I have always loved antagonising others and playing the villain. Last night I dreamt that an old school friend tried to speak to me when we were in the same hotel while I avoided her and when she caught me I started monologuing and gloating like a cartoon villain. I woke up feeling like I’d had fun and wanted to go back to that dream. Genuinely don’t understand why I am like this. It’s been this way for as long as I’ve remembered and my behaviour has left me a friendless outcast. I can’t fit in if I tried, I find any conversation when I’m trying to be amicable needlessly boring and the only time I enjoy being around people is when I’m acting like this. I’m almost 21 man I need to grow out of this.

Holy shit I'm ugly I hate the way I look its so gay

When is my shave face era damnit is it time

>>33562958
That sucks you have like, grown man opposition defiance disorder. I think you need to think back on your childhood and try to remember times when you needed attention and how your caregivers reacted. Did you only receive punishments and not a lot of wholesome engagement? There's something inside you that doesn't feel safe being yourself

>>33563104
I honestly don’t know. I had a pretty normal upbringing, married parents, siblings, not rich but not poor either. My mum has some kind of anger issues and OCD and she’d get mad over little things and scream a lot but it was never that bad. Worst she did was berate me for like an hour for being a bit of a loser when I was 15 and break my toy when I was little. But she was harder on me than the rest of my siblings because I acted up even when I was too young to have been affected by her behaviour. I just think I have some kind of mental illness or disorder.

I will always miss their song

I’ve been really going through it over multiple family deaths and family health crises and my own anxiety, depression, and general state in life and ended up crashing out last week over women in the dating market, I’d download hinge only to insult all my matches every day and delete it when my ability to send messages ran out.

He knows this was his own fault. Strangely it makes it all a little easier

>>33563409
Yea all my fault, good job, you're trying so hard and nobody appreciates it

>>33563177
>focusing on the mother and not the father
Your first mistake
Dig deeper

>>33563419
His grief has still not been resolved. Strangers are witnesses to it

We are reaching for a standard that can never be reached and you know it. You know, deep down, that these things you ask of me are unattainable. It has never *been* attainable, all we do is fiddle with the same shit over and over until we run out of time and have to put out what we have which is always perfectly fucking fine anyways.
This is busywork and could be delegated to AI, honestly. I don't care if AI takes my job, I want it to at this rate. I'm leaving within the next couple months anyway.

How are you supposed to get a job, if every job requires experience?

>>33563455
Applying anyway and temp agency

>>33563449
You want me to prove you wrong but I don't care enough. You will go with my plan whether you like it or not because you don't have nothing else to do, you will reach the standard even if it takes you forever

>>33563422
My dad is fine. Really mellow and rarely got mad.

>>33563455
If they can't find someone with experience they just liquidate the workplace

>>33563538
Doesn't sound like a strong role model for his son

>>33559171 (OP)
I often think about beating my brother to a pulp, or just short of killing him
He's always talking to me condescendingly and he's really inconsiderate and he's fucking annoying and really just an awful person and abusive and disrespectful to our mom
It's not that I actually want to kill him, but these thoughts just come naturally and I don't want to hate him but I don't see any way of dealing with these emotions and thoughts
He's bigger than me, so I'd have to use a baseball bat or some kind of weapon
I think if I went through with it, then maybe I'd finally be at peace

You're more like our daughter, lol, goodnight

God I fucking miss her
I went retarded or something, I have no ability or will to connect to other people now

>>33563662
I’m not a man so he didn’t have to be strong. He’s a great dad and he did a good job with my brother. I don’t think it’s a parental thing, I’ve always been like this but can’t find any disorder or illness that matches with how I act.

She was never mine. We were never together. Why am I feeling like this so long after, just seeing a picture of her together with this guy?
Why can't I treat her like she's nothing to me?

It’s all so demoralizing
I pine after a girl who won’t show any consistency at all because I’m stubborn to a fault. I put in all the effort to maintain friendships and never receive any in return, even from some of my closest friends. I try to get out there and do all this cool shit to live my life but can’t escape the need for recognition and it falls on uncaring deaf ears anyway. I’m just the same fucking forgettable everyman I was in highschool that I am post grad.
I could probably count on one hand the number of people who aren’t my immediate family that even know when my birthday is.
I don't understand why I keep going but i do anyway

>>33563873
It's like that for a lot of us.
Only my mom and my sister remember my birthday. I have had a birthday celebration once in decades. Even though I'm supposed to pretend that people in my environment should have their parties and all of that, not just reminders.
The person I loved the most stopped talking to me on her birthday. No reason given.

I get this twinge of pain when I remember my Ex at 16 had her driving license and I'm now 26, almost 27 and without mine (Yookay)

I feel like the entirety of my personality is a contruct that I wear because "it works". I feel like it's emply, and I almost want to get away from it. If I could teleport into a house of my own and start living without the shackles of my current life I could come to know myself better.

Me: -hands flowers- Hi there *crush's name* I love you!
Crush: -opens door-
Crush's fiancee: "Nigga what you doing with this gay ass shit. Haha, you ain't ever gonna get her cause you'll never love her like I do BITCH! Hahahahaha!
Me: -cries a little-

>>33564015
Why do I feel this way? Why do I almost feel oppressed by mental constructs?

Getting sober and realizing I could have changed a million things but if she was never really willing to open up about even minor stuff how was it ever going to work. No wonder I was so insecure and agitated all the time.

>>33563870
Kek your whole comment is so much. Typical doormat neglected daughter

Have you all ever felt like you were degradingly leftovers to women instead of the dessert or the main dish?

In 6 days it will have been longer without her than it was with her
Not even close to being able to move on yet

I miss being cute, it was cool. I wish I could be the person inside I am now but outside like I was.

>>33564168
I wish I could predict conversations

In recent years I've seen a surge in low quality content here, ranging from chronic schizoposting being unchecked to bad faith posters ragebaiting incorrect responses to rile people up. I think the worst example in recent history was multiple replies responding to a post, saying that obtaining work references from a former employer should never be done, because it's a "conflict of interest."

Just really bummed out by the state of decay in the community here, though I fully acknowledge it's like that on every board too.

>>33564168
I don't. I used to get groped and raped all the time because I was cute. Men are rotten to the their very core, they are subhumans. I like being 50-60 lbs overweight, looked down by men and women. Dumped by friends that don't want a fat friend. I now know how awful people were then and how evil they are now.

>>33564185
It's 4chan... it has always been known as hosting the very worst people on the planet. Be honest.

>>33564190
... but I made a friend that is a model/acts and she is encouraging me to get into film. She wants all women to feel happy and content about themselves. That's a good person.

>>33564138
I think women are now finally treating men the way they've always been treated. 4chan is the product of that.

>>33564196
People could get legitimate information upon sifting through the bullshit. Believe it or not, most boards did not have the same quality as /b/ does on a Friday night at 10:30pm est. At least within the past few years, we typically could get a decent quality thread with half baked replies on relationships, but nowadays that's a rarity in itself.

>4chan
>worst people
Not by a long shot

You keep blaming me and women and you keep digging your own grave. You will be exposed and buried in the end if you do not stop. I have many highly influential friends. This isn't a larp, it's the truth. Somewhere deep inside of you, you know that.

>>33564214
Racists that dehumanize everyone that isn't a white male is piece of fucking garbage. If you don't think so, you're subhuman, like them.

>>33564226
Oh and pedophiles too. This is pedo central.

>>33564226
>>33564232
Thank you for proving my point on low thread quality.

>>33564235
Do you want me to find you some threads to actually prove my point or are you just a low quality pedo racist that agrees with them?

>>33564226
The fucks wrong with white people? While true there are arrogant prickish white people, not all of us go around with pinky fingers acting all asshole elite. I vowed to never make excuses because of what black people go through, and I'm serious.

>>33564243
I've been on 4chan for about 10 years now... I do know how it was then and how it is now. There was actually more child porn on here 10 years ago. It has always been shit.

>>33564246
>The fucks wrong with white people?

Nothing wrong with white people. Did I say there was, you low IQ racist spawn of Satan?

>>33564185
It's reverse psychology

>>33564190
I just like being cute for me. You should try to not be fat for personal reasons.
>>33564176
I did not expect you to say that

>>33564265
Why don't you think you're cute now? I guess you let other people tell you what cute is. I think I'm cute but I know society hates anyone who is overweight.

>>33564265
>You should try to not be fat for personal reasons.

Oh and I try to be fat for personal reason. Again, why do you think you aren't cute?

>>33564271
>>33564288
I swear even if you're alone and doing it for yourself it just feels nice to cultivate your body as best you can without being judgemental towards it. I'm just getting older but I take care of myself as best I can without being neurotic. I'm considering hair transplants but I feel like we're literally 5-10 years away from effectively a "cure" so not sure if it's a waste of money. I look alright, I'm in great shape, but I'm just not the most cute I've ever been.

>>33564318
I work out all the time, I'm not sure why you think I don't. That's weird. I'm sure I could easily kick your ass as I lift more than most males at the gym.

I think what most men don't understand is women aren't as shallow as men but we're really excellent at detecting bad character. It's like an 6th sense all women have. We can see what you're all about and that's likely why women don't like you.

I miss you so much

I never met a soul like yours. I won’t find anyone as uniquely sweet, kind hearted yet stubborn, someone so talented and funny. I never clicked as much as I did with anyone else in my life yet I just threw that away. I’m sorry. I wish I could’ve been the man for you. I wish I could take back time and change everything and do everything differently and I hate my past self more than anything for failing so badly on that.

You deserve better and I hope your current boyfriend is treating you right. You deserve the world. I hope he is giving it to you.

>>33564341
Being overweight is unhealthy regardless of working out or not. Daily walks and stretching are basically all you need. Consider calorie fasting 20 hours a day; it's helped me with a lot of things. I've started to do some other random exercises before bed tho. I also practice juggling, Japanese, Math, and piano before bed. I'm trying to work in other things into my schedule as I finish up my to do list and get more free time.

>>33563964
I get that it’s a common sentiment especially here
I’m so so so fuckin tired of being alone. I just want her to commit instead of this will we won't we bullshit that makes it all so much harder to justify putting up with

I seemingly have a massive thing for girls from the South of the US, women who look similar look to Haley Williams is a surefire way to my heart.

anyone got any uti remedies?

I'm beginning to think /adv/ is fake and controlled.

When you start a real thread it gets 1 response, no answers, and then dies, but literal chatgtp and larp threads live for weeks.

When you post real replies in any thread, it gets pruned prematurely, but when you meme and shitpost they let it stay, and no advice happens.

Even /gioyc/ has fucking schizophrenics make it incomprehensible to read.

Dead internet theory is real.

>>33564459
drink lots of water
>>33564495
those threads are bait for a majority of users' issues

After Friday the bigger things should be figured out for payments which is good.

i hate how afraid i am of interacting with people i can barely speak to people if its not work related ive been in college for like maybe 3 weeks now i and i still havent made any connections, not even surface level and i just freeze when i try talking to anyone even other guys

Hey Marina.
Been a while, like a long while. I know you never think about me, kinda like someone who murdered someone's parents doesn't give a fuck about their children many years later, doesn't even know their names.
Been the opposite for me, but that's on me.
I came to the realization that for every bit of good you had in my life, there's something not so good. I've ignored a few people telling me you were not worth it or that I might have been fucked with a bit, that's what falling for you did. Kept trying to get away from you while we were still in... whatever terms we were, but it never worked. And then you had something awful happen and I've been awkwardly there, but I've been there. Maybe I didn't have the words, maybe I couldn't have helped (no one could, to be quite honest), but fuck, I've been there. If the same happens to me, and it's bound to, sooner than I thought, you won't be there. I can guarantee it, not even a fake word. It's something I'll have to take.
Today I've seen a new picture of you with whoever this ugly motherfucker is and I decided, you look kinda fucking evil to me. You look like you'd probably fuck my life up if we really met again. Maybe it's best I stop thinking about that slim chance that I lost not that long ago to have a reunion, but also about you entirely. My miserable life does not need this shit. And you will never read this.

>>33564377
Actually that is very untrue. I am healthier than people that don't work out. Scientific facts, look it up if you want, there are studies. I used to fast until I got health problems (women shouldn't fast for long periods of time, regularly, due to hormones). I eat mostly vegetables, nuts, fish, eggs, some berries.

I've been working out 2-5 times a week for 1 hour a session for a year. I go to the gym.

>>33559171 (OP)
Do blue lives still matter, or are we defunding? idk which one is easier to control by tugging at emotions. FAWK im soo bad at this.

>>33559171 (OP)
My wife is balding, doesn’t want to have kids with me and we just got married in June. Unfortunately she just got over endometriosis and had surgery to take it out in March. It’s been a lot, I get it. We’ve been together for 8 years and she’s an amazing woman but I just think we are not compatible sexually, physically, biologically and emotionally. The fucked up thing is that I am madly in love with someone else and she’s also madly in love with me but we have a ten year difference and she’s settling for a beta cuck to provide for her and her children. Such is life

>>33564459
cranberry juice is proven to work. Sip small amounts every 1/2 hour.

>>33564440
Why do people feel the need to announce who they find attractive? Or that they're horny, etc. I'm genuinely curious. Why? Do you think she is going to pop through your screen to give you a blowjob?

>>33564812
Imagine pretending this is about love and not lust. No one is going to ease you're shitty conscience here because you aren't attracted to your wife because you're a disgusting pervert that chases young women and has no honor whatsoever. You're the villain in every story out there.

>>33564760
Fasting 20 hours a day is good, I think. I define healthy as healthspan not athletic performance. I am still under the impression that any amount of overweight at all will have negative effects on anyone past 65.

Men destroy their children by watching porn and chasing young tail. It's pathetic. DON'T GET MARRIED if you just want to chase younger women.

>>33564834
You can be under the impression but it's not factual information. A person who works out and is overweight is healthier than someone that doesn't work out. There are studies.

Also my doctors (naturopath or MD) told me not to fast. I was told not to fast more than 14-16 hours. I'll take their word over a random anon's word.

edging so fucking hard today

A large-scale, 12-year study, the European Prospective Investigation into Cancer and Nutrition (EPIC) study, found that physical inactivity was responsible for more than twice as many deaths as general obesity in Europe [1]. The study, which analyzed data from over 334,000 individuals, revealed that even a modest amount of daily physical activity, such as a 20-minute brisk walk, could reduce the risk of early death by 16% to 30% for inactive individuals [1]. This benefit was observed across all weight categories, including normal weight, overweight, and obese individuals, indicating that the greatest risk of early death was consistently found in those classified as inactive.

I am so angry right now.

Angry at birds.

caught myself inspecting suicide paraphernalia in the store the other day. i have a pretty good idea how i'd go about doing it when it comes down to it. i'm a stupid coward unworthy of life and that fact is embedded in my genes.

>>33564770
They matter very much but no cops should ever protect another crooked cop.

>>33564949
It's okay, you exist to make good people feel better about themselves and other good people. You are here on earth, so obviously it's meant to be.

A song for you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_0Wn73AnC8&list=RDO_0Wn73AnC8&start_radio=1

>>33564958
no thanks

>>33564871
Nah it's like literally up there with smoking for the worst things you can do to age worse. It causes inflammation and generally implies you spend basically 0% of your time in autophagy.

>>33564871
14-16 hours isn't so far from 20, but 14-16 hours means you are only in autophagy for basically 0 minutes a day. Doctors just tell women that because their is stigma around telling women to lose weight.

there*

>>33564990
I'm not going to argue with someone who denies scientific evidence. Are you even a high school graduate?

ot Exercising Is Worse for You Than Being Obese. [Smithsonian Magazine]
Lack of exercise — not diet — linked to rise in obesity, Stanford study finds. [Stanford Medicine News Center]
Why sitting too much is bad for us. [NHS.uk]
Physical Activity. [Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health - Nutrition Source]
Systematic review of sedentary behaviour and health indicators in school-aged children and youth. [International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity]

>>33565001
No, Doctors are educated, unlike you. Next time you have a broken bone, be sure to go to the homeless people on the street that you get advice from, to fix you up.

I feel shitty about this but... I was thinking of maybe trying to make friends with people and push through my avoidant tendencies (Going to warn people first btw, and I'll let them leave with no complaints). But those don't feel like the only thing in the way, I feel kind of dissatisfied talking to a lot of people and like there's no real connection. But I'm avoidant because I'm boring and stupid- if someone WAS enjoyable to be around, they'd probably be dissatisfied with me. I feel so stupid for having a double standard like this. But interaction just for the sake of interaction doesn't feel like what I'm looking for, I keep feeling like I want something "more" even if I myself lack it.
...Hopefully I can find a cool, smart person who feels like yapping at me while I mostly listen. That kinda feels like the only solution.

>>33565017
I'm pretty sure being fat makes you age worse and fasting is good for you if you are getting your nutritional needs. If you want to contribute toward social security and then die shortly into retirement to fund my retirement, feel free.

Basically going on frequent brisk walks and do 10-30 minutes of physically rigorous activity a day seems to be about what you need. But iunno. I'm open to more but I feel like people just make cults about going to the gym. Everyone wants to make a religion out of their hobbies. I'm no different. Learn a language on duolingo.

>>33564814
Thanks man.

I wish I could just turn off my body's "triggers" and be able to live without the risk of crying and being shaky or nervous at any given moment.

>>33565046
OBVIOUSLY but my point is you're superficial, why aren't you lecturing the people here who don't exercise since it is PROVEN to be worse for your health than 50 extra lbs (maybe 30 due to my muscle mass). I know why. It's because you're superficial. Just know you can never ever complain about women thinking you're fugly because of your hairline.

>>33565182
ofc... just make sure you always look up advice on here, yourself... I have seen studies on it.

>>33565073
>33564897

Oh and because you're a psychopath - I hope you die from being unloved due to being fugly on the outside and inside.

>>33565027
be a man and dont befriend others until you solve your own issues first,

>>33564871
"Pissing yourself is better than throwing up" is how I see this.

>>33565046

Here you go, fucktard. I'm surprised you got old enough to be balding... you're so fucking dumb.

https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/lack-of-exercise-responsible-for-twice-as-many-deaths-as-obesity

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2019/12/fast-or-not-fast

Therefore, when women undergo prolonged fasts or fasts that result in cutting calories too aggressively, their kisspeptin levels can plummet — leading to a number of negative downstream hormonal effects, including loss of ovulation and monthly menstrual cycle

>>33565269
https://zoe.com/learn/intermittent-fasting-for-women?srsltid=AfmBOopbJsFTmgwWkj4FizkuakfBShUnOyaOibWOmsGoL6c7YcyPk7Ff

>>33565268
That's because you're dumb af and have no ability to reason.

>>33565046
Being fat isn't good for you but fasting 20h a day seems way too excessive if you aren't actively trying to lose weight.

>>33565282
My doctors told me not to fast. That it causes gallstones and other metabolic/hormonal issues.

I also like to be bigger. I feel more powerful and people leave me alone. I only attract the kindest people now. It's like a asshole deterrent and rape/groping deterrent.

I was trying not to drink but I'm about to drink
I need a break
All day every day lately is just managing anxiety and despair and this is the only thing that instantly numbs it
I'm so tired of constant exercise and breathing techniques and shitty little grounding practices just to get a 10% reduction at best

>>33565227
Me too anon

>>33565298
Stay safe and be mindful. And I think I see where you're coming from? My highest weight was just barely overweight so not the same but I wasn't harassed at the time, like I was at my lower weight that I'm reaching now. Then again, creeps are gonna creep regardless of what you wear and what you look like. Don't blame yourself, blame the predators after you.

>>33565331
>Then again, creeps are gonna creep regardless of what you wear and what you look like

Fair point, I got my butt slapped/groped when I was even bigger than I am now by a specialist, in the hospital. I use to turn heads anywhere I went... I'd date guys based on their personality, not looks, then other guys would actually say 'WHAT IS SHE DOING WItH HIM!?"

I just hate people now, even the ugly ones are assholes. Fatter but healthy is ideal for me.

There’s something I need to do that was cause a bit of thinking and 15 minutes of my time and I’ve been putting it off for months. I keep saying oh I’ll do it today, then in the afternoon, then evening and then tomorrow and the cycle repeats. It would only serve to benefit me but when I get ready to do it I find a way to distract myself. I can’t get rid of the distractions because it’s something I need to type out on my phone/PC. It won’t take long at all and will only benefit me. I have never procrastinated like this before. How do I get my ass in gear.

>>33565368
Ooh don't get me started in double standards holy shit. All depending on things like gender people don't take you seriously. This is the minority but I was molested by a girl once and people would make the most bs excuses for her. And then I got groped for half a second by some old man and then they're like "oh you're so brave I'd be so scared etc etc" when the latter messed me up way more.... it socks cause you realize what happened to you was bad, than you seek support expecting people to care but then they brush it off and you get bitch slapped by reality oof.

>>33565500
Fuck I meant *former

Im so fucking tired of girls I talk to me to talk to me for a week and lose interest. I've tired different girls of different levels of attractiveness. I don't know how to talk unless it's talking shit, or being overly nice. Both kind of fucking suck to be like. I tried to mix the both, but at the same time It just feels fake. I wish I could just walk up and not be awkward, or like im invading someone's space when I attempt to talk to them, or them walking away after a few minutes

>>33565500
>This is the minority but I was molested by a girl once and people would make the most bs excuses for her.

Who did you tell & what did they say? How old were you both when it happened? How did she molest you?

> And then I got groped for half a second by some old man and then they're like "oh you're so brave I'd be so scared etc etc"

How old were you when it happened? 1/2 a second?

>when the latter messed me up way more

You're trying to former messed you up? The girl who molested you hurt you more than the old man molesting you?

Are you f or m? Do you hate women, have an axe to grind about how evil women are? Are you gay? Just tryna help.

>>33565604
say the*

>>33565507
ok

>>33565604
I told friends, who reacted weirdly. The adults were as supportive as they could be, even asking me if I wanted to press charges. Never got around to it. We were 11 in 6th grade.
The old man incident happened at 13 on the bus and it was short enough that I questioned if it even was inappropriate touching or an accident. He pushed his fingers onto the crevice of my crotch.
Yeah the former was worse? It went on for longer and me repressing it till it was too late to do anything didn't help. I think my friend group's reaction affected my feelings towards it now. It was just.. a bad time in my life. I was looking at porn, fictional or real or in fanfic, was possibly being groomed online but I'm not sure, realized I was trans which was awful because I had to be closeted. I was pretty depressed and thinking of suicide a lot.
My dysphoria didn't manifest until later so I guess it was girl on girl at the time. And no? I don't hate women? I like men quite a bit but I'm not a gay male. Me hating my assailant doesn't mean I hate all women, where did you get that from. She just happened to be female and it wouldn't have changed much if it were a guy. In fact it made things worse cause It wasn't taken as seriously by my mom.

americans have it easy. at the slight inconvenience, they can just buy a gun and end themselves.

>>33565674
Forgot about that 3rd question, she met me for the first time, offered to play a game, took me to the edge of the school field, and pushed herself onto me while groping me all over. She was playing cop and I was meant to be the criminal under arrest. I distinctly remember her commenting on the noises I made while it happened.

I'm sleepy.

>>33565674
>We were 11 in 6th grade.

I hate to tell you but almost all kids do this. You can't press charges against a kid. lol

It's kinda weird that you're so upset by child's play, it's called playing doctor. Why didn't you push her off and tell your mom? This is obvious bullshit... and no, I don't feel sorry for you. You're making excuses for an old man touching you (illegal) and upset over child's play (legal and normal). Do you have a low IQ maybe?

I don't see how I'll ever want anyone else but her

Fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god

>accidentally nap for 4 hours
>3 hours later it is now 4 hours until I have to go to work
>not tired enough yet to go to bed
I'm so fucked lol

>>33565710
Are you stupid. Do I need to spell out "I hate the man who assaulted me too" for you to know that I don't approve of it. Incredible.
You weren't there when it happened. Looking back on my memories it is very obvious that it was malicious, seeing as she would call people names, touch others, and even stalk her crush.
They said I could do it if I wanted to. The most I could do was get it on her permanent record because I REPRESSED the memory until later and was TOO LATE to do anything substantial. As much as I wish I could, I couldn't control whatever my brain did to bury it in the mean time. And I caved in to tell my mom because she forced me to talk about it. I do not like her. I do not like having to sit and hear her lectures about how I was supposedly lying because I "couldn't forget such a thing" blah blah blah. You sound just like her. Perhaps you're the one with low iq.

>>33565674
>girl on girl at the time. And no? I don't hate women? I like men quite a bit but I'm not a gay male.

If you were born male (penis/xy), you were a boy and are a man now.

>>33565742
I don't think this was your intention with this but that was very affirming for my transmasc ass. Thanks!

>>33565682
Noises? Maybe she was raped by a cop.

>>33565746
You're a repulsive piece of trash, and you're one reason why this place is such shit

Fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god

>>33565746
You're welcome. I think reality/truth is the most important thing out there. I refuse to lie.

>>33565749
Maybe, maybe not. Not like you or me will ever know. Regardless, I don't owe her forgiveness for doing that to me.

>>33565764
It's the mentally ill... be kind. I won't play into their delusions though. I have no idea if its female or male, don't care but I won't lie and pretend a male is a female. I'm less bothered by delusional girls that think they're men.

>>33565766
I never said you had to forgive anyone. Its a kid though... she didn't know any better. You do though.... assuming you're an adult. You don't really act like one. I do suggest you get some therapy.

Is it weird that I like Doug Walker more now that I'm older? I feel like it's supposed to be the other way around

I think your sister killed Michael because she was jealous that he liked me. I really do.

>>33559171 (OP)
>i'm fucked up with math

I'm in 8th grade, and this year I started studying algebra. Was never good at math; I passed the previous two grades within millimeters of retaking them.

Well, today I received my grades, and in the math test I got D+.

Fucking Arabs.

>>33565788
Only when you hate math do you remember who gave it to you

>>33565755
Is it a transman that hates women? ie. a female?

I get so confused these days and I can't take any of it seriously.

>>33565806
When did I say I hate women? Point me to it. Because whatever I did, I never had that intention.

>>33565781
Children aren't innocent angels who don't do wrong. Quite the opposite. They will test boundaries as they grow up to see whatever they can get away with. Doesn't mean we excuse that. It means we discipline them and give them consequences for their actions. I did whatever I could with what my stupid brain gave me. I can't be arsed to get revenge or whatever anymore. I would be getting therapy if it were that easy. It's a bit odd that what was some normal fun day to her was one of the worst events to happen to me that still has me cry and shake over it. Can't control what my body does.

>>33565815
Are you in 8th grade.

I got that from you hating the female child but not the old male, I see that here all the time. People pretending they were raped by girls and couldn't do anything about it. Sometimes they go through great lengths to pretend that girl or woman raping them somehow dibiliated them so they couldn't overpower her. I'm not saying that's every case, that they're aren't legit cases (teachers with school boys for example - abuse of power) but most are made up bullshit to get revenge on women (mostly because they're really ugly/assholish and women reject them).

>>33565776
"Its"? Is that some bdsm fetish of yours? Never asked to be a part of it. Keep it to yourself. You lot are quite hypocritical obsessing over genitals more than us. Reality is stranger than fiction!

>>33565838
>dibiliated
debilitated*

>>33565833
Children do wrong because there are evil adults. I'm sorry you're trans, you had a child play roughly with you (lol sorry but lol).

I think your issues stem deeper than this and this was just a trigger.

>>33565844
No one cares about your weird delusional sexual fantasies of being the opposite sex... it's all about SEX. I really don't know what you are so it is appropriate.

>>33565838
I didn't think i need to specify my feelings so heavily. My apologies, I do know you guys can't read between the lines or come to conclusions without specifications. But to be clear: yes I do hate the man for touching me as I was minding my own business as a kid on the bus. I am angrier about the girl situation because it was more "traumatic" for me. But that doesn't mean I forgive the man. 2 things can be true at the same time. I don't forgive the other man I met online for sending me hentai doujin when he likely knew my age, either. This isn't about what gender is or isn't better. I don't care about gender wars.

>>33565806
It's a blue haired cunt with a cunt that thinks children playing cops and robbers is a crime
Meanwhile the j**wrats that fucked this planet up kidnap children off the street and literally rape them, assault them with objects, drain their blood, crucify them, and cut up their remains. Let this "transmasc" cunt compare that to being carressed by strangers in a culture where she's encouraged to wear yoga pants and twerk

Fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god fuck god

>>33565866
okay, I don't read between the lines at all, that's speculation... but just so you know... you have no real problems. Trust me.

>>33565855
Were you that anon replying to me who was sexually harassed? If you were, I could've said the same about your situations if I were someone else. But I won't. Because I won't blame victims or act like they're overreacting to something like that happening. Im sorry you feel the need to do that to others though.

Should I respond to my ex? He’s messaged me regularly for the last month but I haven’t responded.

>>33565882
You're not a victim. The victim is the person that has an assault on her permanent record because she wanted to play with someone her age

>>33565880
you're denser than a black hole and some smartass who thinks they know the ins and outs of someone based on a few messages. That's so odd. Didn't know you were omnipotent and observing me since birth, since you clearly seem to know so much about me lawl

>>33565868
Yeah, I actually agree with you. I'm a female, the real kind... I've seen a lot of crap in this world - more than most. These trans kids are self-centered perverts - it's all about sex. I don't feel sorry for people like that. Get over it.

That said, I'm fine with blue hair, tatts, piercings. I don't think that's a part of anything.

>>33565904
I don't see it as some kink. Being Trans sucks a lot and I'd rather have been some cis girl or boy instead. Projection is crazy like that though

>>33565899
LMAO

>>33565882
That's an adult, in a position of authority.

>>33565914
People say that but it's literally your identity of sex that you're focusing on. No one cares. You're self-centred and need to be sent to a war zone (as a boy you can be conscripted).

>>33565902
Okay, you're sooo right, I'm sooo dumb... what are you problems... did you just get bombed in Ukraine? Please tell me.

>>33565922
Biological sex is not the same as the act of intercourse.

>>33565930
Only when it doesn't get you special privileges, of course

>>33565928
Being molested as a kid? Being physically abused at an early age and called names? Being chased around and not left alone by a boy as an elementary schooler? Having to lie to cps? Feeling depressed? Being groomed online? Wanting to kill myself? Sorry I'm not some human shield with DID starving in gaza so I could earn the sympathy of some retard anon.

Me: oh look a matress tag it says don't rip though
Hipster NT Who lives in irony: OH LOOK ZACH I'M NOT GONNA BE YOU SO I AM GONNA RIP THE TAG OFF AND SHOVE IT UP MY ASS!

>>33565949

Been there, done all that plus much much more. Those are nothing burgers. Why did you lie to cps

>>33565949
>Sorry I'm not some human shield with DID starving in gaza so I could earn the sympathy of some retard anon.
You're this instead, you pile of human refuse

>>33565269
I've never met a woman who fastes ascetically. They always faste aesthetically. You don't seem to understand you can still eat too many calories in a day even fasting 20 hours a day.
>>33565228
>>33565269
why so angry
>>33565282
You can still gain weight fasting 20hours a day. It's about having 20 hours where you are only drinking water and such. It's not about losing weight, but also fasting 20hours a day makes it easier to control weight. I'm like 20 years ahead on this. Everyone is gonna call me crazy but this will be common sense soon.

>>33565949
>starving in gaza

They're not starving btw. That's bullshit. They're all fat. One just posted a birthday party meal for his kids - LOTS of food.

It's called autophagy. Nobody seems to look it up no matter how many times I say it. I guess I have to wait for Johnny Harris or Jon Oliver to make a video about it, or maybe it will go viral on social media.

>>33565964
I'm sure they are. You're a lot fatter, and soon you'll be fixed in the same manner

>>33565963

You've never met me.

I'm not angry, I have little patience for dumb dumbs that deny science.

NTA but what do you even care? Why are you soooo persistent? Even against science? Against my doctor's orders? You must be narcissistic. That's all I can think of. I'm not going to repeat myself if you're too stupid to get it. It's frustrating dealing with dumb people.

>>33565959
People like you who play trauma olympics are pretty insufferable. So you've been through the most trauma as a kid? Do you want a medal for your outstanding achievement? Does it feel good to feel like you can be an asshole to people who haven't been through as much as you? Okay then.. odd hill to die on.

>>33565992
Autophagy. You're never in autophagy. Your cells are old and cancery.

>>33565973
I'm actually not a lot fatter and what exactly do you mean that I will be fixed in the same manner?

>>33565994
Prove it.

>>33565996
I mean you don't deserve to live on this planet any more than a human shield does. And the ones that are killing them will kill you when they're done with them
Only difference is you will deserve it while they don't

Also someone insulting me over and over because of my opinions is like a big asshole. A big angry asshole. Go through the messages. I never insulted you til now. You're angry and an asshole. I honestly suspect you are trolling me or mentally ill.

>>33565996
And yes, you are a lot fatter. You're an ugly fucking tub of lard and you look like a fucking pig

>>33565998
You're a troll. It's weird you do this with your time.

I work in a giant retail building. Recently caught on to some of my associates clocking each other in along with possibly other departments involved. I don’t have camera access so all I could do is report loss prevention. Just waiting for them to get picked up and fired immediately. I get an award of $200 per associate involved, I honestly never reported someone for something like this.

For those who might bitch to me about muh corporate stooge, it’s not your money blah blah blah. It’s more they’ve been lying straight to my face saying they’re running late cause they had to take their brother to the hospital or whatever. Then I check the clock in and they were on time. So now I don’t even believe them when they say they’re going to the bathroom.

>>33566002
Real as fuck they need some serious therapy. Just cause they have trauma doesn't give them the right to be shitty to others, it doesn't make you innocent. Excusing sexual assault.... bottom of the barrel scum. I'm surprised people are being patient with them, being the way they are!

>>33565993
No, I just think kids messing around at 11 years old is a ridiculous thing to ruin your life and become trans over. You want pity... okay... Im so sorry a child hurt you so bad by playing cops and robbers. What else do you want from me? From us?

I certainly don't want pity. That's for weak people that want to cry over their problems endlessly without getting on with their lives.

>>33566009
Okay I'm a troll because I challenge you and you don't like that? Prove what you said. Simple.

>>33566020
Lol you people are such losers. Truly.

>>33566031
Look up autophagy. Accept it is real or not. Go have tests done on yourself before and after fasting 20 hours a day.

>>33566025
What a weirdo. What a creep. Sexual assault is just a game to you. Get more help.

>>33566043
Do you come here just to try and make people angry? Oh well.

>>33566045
Are you angry that you're not being accepted as a victim? Were you going for gold before the normal woman joined your victim olympics?

>>33566044
I know what autophagy is. I took university level sciences. I will stick to what my doctors said thanks. I'm a person that believes in biological reality and science.... but you do you. Keep talking to the tranmac lunatic, it will jerk you off here. Bye

>>33566065
I don't think anything you say is true at all desu

>>33566063
lol

I'm not normal but that was very funny regardless.

>>33566070
Well, you can look up the scientific peer reviewed articles I listed and take it up with the scientists if you just don't believe them. I go by facts, not fiction.

>>33566063
I am by others. You just have a problem with that for some reason. I'd rather not try as hard as you but you thought children molesting others is just some fun playtime event when it objectively isn't. I know what happened to me. You don't.

>>33566072
No woman is normal. You're not special either

>>33566086
So what you're saying is you're just gonna look for another schmuck to play victim with because it's not working here

>>33566093
No, real women are angels. Men are all born without the ability to create life. We are Goddesses, you're antichrists.

>>33566084
You can find papers suggesting pretty much anything is true. Also people that are fasting to lose weight are unhealthy which is why most people faste. You're supposed to faste and then eat a days worth of calories in 4 hours.

>>33566102
>create life.
Don't flatter yourself, you black bitch. If you created life, you wouldn't lose a pint of blood every month
You lose that blood because it was allocated to a potential life by its creator who isn't you. Otherwise you should just keep your blood and toss out the egg

>>33566086
OMG I am soooooo sorry you got molested by a 11 year old demon child! You're sooooo right, it's soooo wrong, basically as wrong as murdering people and harvesting their organs. So sorry you will NEVER be normal because a child playing a cop took that from you. You should find her and rape her and then KILL HER! Would that make you feel better?

Btw lying to cops is an actuaal crime

>>33566115
You really must hate your mother. What did she do to you, besides giving birth to an angry thing?

>>33566105
Okay find peer reviewed papers that eating other humans is actually healthy for you. I don't think you get how science works.

>>33566122
Is cps cops?

>>33566101
I'm saying you're a psychotic bitch who thinks anyone with an easier life than you has zero struggles. If you're that medical anon smart enough to list articles for your cause, I'd assume you'd be smart enough to know that children molested by other children can also be traumatized by it. I can acknowledge that people with easier lives than me fight their own battles, and I can ty my best to support them because it's hard to deal with. I tried being nice to you, told you to be well, and you still feel the need to lash out at me. You are clearly more hurt than me. I see that. I hope you can get proper therapy for whatever is causing you to treat other human beings like this. You can complain about me insulting you all you want, but you've been doing it so much more than me. I really tried but this issue of yours runs deep.

>>33566124
You really are a woman. You sidestepped my very direct rebuttal and went straight into my personal relationships
2 can play at that game. Are you calling yourself a goddess to compensate for no guy wanting you?

>>33566138
It's still perjury and filing false reports. But maybe you should learn that abbreviations get capitalized, when you're not busy playing victim

>>33566143
See you're not very smart making assumptions like that. Plenty of guys want me. In fact one just offered to pay my way to Germany.

>>33566139
Eat shit. I'm in no mood for your fucking novels

>>33566150
nta angry misogynist. I'm leaving - you have issues that can't be resolved. Did your mom rape you? Beat you?

It's been 1.5 years since I deleted instagram and blocked J on everything and stopped talking to her for good. But I accidentally found J's letterboxd account from my friend G who is her best friend, since J liked one of G's reviews. I just spent an hour combing through all of her reviews and accounts she follows and they are all female except for one guy who is a huge movie buff and he seems really cool and also follows her back. and J has liked ALL of his reviews since she got letterboxd like two months ago. I almost redownloaded instagram so that I could look up who this guy is and then I realized how obsessive and jealous I am, and so now I am just sitting here in my apartment alone staring at the wall and then I typed this post.

I want her in my life again so badly but I know that I will want to kill myself even more as soon as/if she ever even mentions him once, and I don't even know what I would do if she started DATING him, especially because she told me four years ago that she is ""aromantic""

>>33566139
>If you're that medical anon smart enough to list articles for your cause

He's not. That's me. At any rate, I'd side with him over you even though I think they are delusional. At least they aren't a misogynistic psychopath.

>>33566159
Most people aren't as brainrotted as that woman is, if it brings you any comfort lol. If social workers can recognize I'm struggling to process trauma, why should I put her word above that. Whatever. I would be mad but I not because I can tell she's unwell and needs to act like I'm stealing her Valor by being taken advantage of. (^_^")

>>33566159
I'll tell you when you tell me what's wrong with your mother

>>33566170
Throwing "misogynist" at me again? You're like insufferable liberals who call anyone they disagree with nazis. I don't hate all women or all men. I know that the world isn't black and white, but it's clear you don't.

Also, I genuinely understand your misery molested anon. I'm sorry I was so mean, I need to remember that I was like you once in life. Suffering for a long time because of my past (molested by an adult, cults, programming, being beat up by my boyfriend, hateful narc mom, military pawn,bullied etc etc), living there. I'm honestly trying to help you but I know it's not what you want to hear. If you think your problems are the worst, you can't break free of them. Best of luck on your journey, even if you hate me. xx

I hate my life

>>33566180
A lot. She is a horrible person. I loved my dad, he passed but he also knew what she was.

>>33566195
I'm not a liberal but I hate neo-nazis (many here) I actually helped get Danielle Smith elected.

I had no appetite to eat when things wre normal. Now my house was robbed and destroyed by vandal methheads, and I have to force feed myself
I haven't eaten a meal in 2 days. I don't want to eat

>>33566206
I don't think they're the worst, quit putting words in my mouth. And i don't hate you even if you act like I'm faking going through assault because I know you are clearly losing your grip on reality or whatever. Im not going to choose to hit you with trying same excuses others pulled on me because i can be above being some petty asshole like you Go, who tries to give people a taste of their own medicine. Again. Go get help. You clearly need it.

Message got scrambled up as I typed but point still stands. I hope you can someday have some shame for doing this to other people. It's fucked up of you, plain and simple. I can't tell if you are being passive aggressive or not.

Others are probably wondering if I will become cold. It feels like I'm working for nothing
I'm alone in the world. Always have been. Guess that's whats most dangerous for the system. Maybe thats why im being tracked by the feds. Dumbass cop told my neighbor and told him to stay away from me

>>33566206
Oh and I was raped multiple times, groped, laughed at/mocked by my brother and his friends. Everyone was jealous of me, my friend kissed my boyfriend, another pulled down my shirt in public... just a slice of my life but I don't want pity. I know it's not good for me. I don't need it because I'm stronger than anyone here. I really am. That is mine. That's what I have in life for my misery.

>>33566248
See this is why I don't bother with little freaks like you. That's what you are. A freak. My pity is wasted on you. Go get some friends to trauma dump on, you freak of fucking nature.

>>33566232

See this is why I don't bother with little freaks like you. That's what you are. A freak. My pity is wasted on you. Go get some friends to trauma dump on, you freak of fucking nature. Waste of life.

Why must we feel
Why cant I just let go of everything
Why hope is so bitter. Its so much easier to live without hope
Also Im horny. Fuck.

I'm sad but I can't cry. I haven't felt sad like this in many years

>>33566248
https://youtu.be/uuwfgXD8qV8

I want to throw up but I have nothing to throw up

I want to be dead

>>33566248
>I dont want pity, I am stronger than you
>look at how much worse my life is than yours. Your problems are not real because of this. I am very confident in myself so much so I need to one-up you

I could use a hug, but death is easier to wish for

I don't want to keep going but I have to

I might never find a wife because I don't know what it's like to live with others. I don't want to

>>33566302
You've got this man you'll make through whatever you got going on.

>>33566291
I am stronger than you by far. If you think getting wrestled and groped by another kid is soooo bad, then you are beyond fucked in the head. There is no hope for you. That testosterone is working wonders on you. You're a psychopath and yes a trans freak of nature. No other way to put it. You're mentally unwell.

Again, your problems aren't worthy of an ounce of thought. It's funny that you thought they were. And no, my life is great because I'm not a whiny self-centered cunt like you are. I hope that helps! :-)

Others look up to me. Now I'm losing my footing and I will see their other face when I'm weak

I hate women so fucking much

>>33566337
Why would you hate women? That's not normal.

I'm strong and smart and handsome. You'd think I'm tooting my own horn, and with that youd see why I can be intimidating
Only when life is punching me in the gut do women take an interest in me. But when I'm getting wailed on by life, last thing I need is an estrogen bag

>>33566349
Shut up you stupid whore. My dick works and you know it's the center of your puny little world
Not to mention I hate women philosophically and not personally

>>33566358
Why is life punching you in the stomach?

Schizos will be schizos. Keep coping luv xx sorry that you are so much stronger than me. I'm sure you are very much okay with how insane you are xx

>>33566364
>My dick works

lol you just admitted your dick doesn't work. Why would you think I want your impotent dick? That's odd.

I have a lover, in Germany. He is all I want.

>>33566369
Because I spend all my energy protecting my chin
Because life fights you until you fight back or die
Because I was basically abandoned as a kid and spat out into the world
Because I have to learn everything the hard way like my far ancestors, because the near ones failed at their job

>>33566370
lmao you're so fucked in the head pervert tranny.

>>33566383
That's pretty much every adult though...

>>33566375
Saying my dick works means it doesn't work? Say some more stupid shit to me you loose-pussoed diseased coon whore, and I will show you how the fuck it's done

And maybe your lover is in Germany because he hasn't seen your fat rolls or smelled your vaginal odors

>>33566390
I guess

>>33566384
You are not better than me. You are not worse than me. I am not better than you. I am not worse than you. The day you accept this will be the day you stop being delusional and up your ass. I'm glad I am not as miserable as you apparently are, and I am glad I have people who care about me, because it means I am more sane and grounded in reality than you are. Again, cope and seethe. You are clearly very strong and a total tough guy. So tough. Have fun with that. (' v -) ~

>>33566396
Lol... yeah, obviously you have to assert that because it doesn't work.

He knows my size, he loves my intelligence. "loose-pussoed" - is that your new misogynistic word of the day, you fucking pedophile rapist? My vag smells like cookies, they even wrote a song about it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bp-KeVBNz0A&list=RDBp-KeVBNz0A&start_radio=1

I hope it's you wanting to kill yourself. Please do! :-)

>>33566407
I'm better than you in many ways. For one thing, I'm not a delusional tranny. I'm not coping and seething. You can stop replying now :-)

I am tough though... you aren't, you're as weak as they come.

https://youtu.be/k7R2uVZYebE

>>33566411
>My vag smells like cookies,
So you admit your pussy is loose AND smells like a rotten fish dinner from last week

Too bad for you, you have nothing else to offer

Anyway, thanks for making me forget my recent disaster. I will now upload some shit about wimmons

>>33566426
No, you said something about a stinky pussy, I told you they wrote a song about my pussy smelling/tasting like cookies. .
Why are you so stupid? lmfao.

My vag is normal sized. It's not like the little babies you rape though as I'm a women. I hope that helps!

>>33566420
Good for you, keep projecting

>>33566443
I'm not a dumb tranny.

Keep replying because you're really not seething :-)

>>33566438
STINKY PUSSY
>STINKY PUSSY
STINKY PUSSY
>STINKY PUSSY
STINKY PUSSY
>STINKY PUSSY

>>33566444
>>33566435


How can you not understand that women hate you because of your awful character and personality? Your shitty balding looks are just another negative.

STINKY PUSSY
>STINKY PUSSY
FAT WHORE
>FAT WHORE
STINKY PUSSY
>STINKY PUSSY
FAT WHORE
>FAT WHORE

>>33566454
I know you've never even seen a pussy. lmfao

You're gay... just say it. It's obvious.

>>33566463
>he luvs muh intellogence, muthafucka
>>literally can't read English

YOU'RE GAY YOU'RE GAY YOU'RE GAY YOU'RE GAY YOU'RE GAY YOU'RE GAY

You're unlovable You're unlovable You're unlovable You're unlovable You're unlovable You're unlovable

You will never get laid

You will never get laid
You will never get laid
You will never get laid
You will never get laid

You're an ape and I am soooo glad I got you and you're seething this much. Please kill yourself. I know that was you. lmfao

>>33566468
I know you've never had a man say he loves you, and you never will. They just use your pussy and move on when you get boring. You'll get old and alone, fat, wrinkly, and even more stinky-pussy... and your only insult will be "lol ur gay"

>>33566473
Sorry, are you ESL?

Yeah, he loves me. I've been talking to him for 10+ years now. He is gentle and a beautiful person.

I need to get off my ass and play video games!!!! Why can't my brain let me do That!!!!

>>33566478
Lol ok, stinky pussy

>>33566484
You keep telling yourself this because you can't get laid lol

Men have always loved me.

>>33566486
>>33566489

you're a loser is why.

I'm actually extremely happy I made you suicidal and angry :-)

>>33566500
What do i have to do with your stink pussy debate. Leave me out of it the Fuck

I remember that post here about impotence. You have a limp dick... that's the only thing that you thought you had of value but you're wrong. lmfao

No one wants your dick in the first place.

>>33566485
>. I've been talking to him for 10+ years now. He is gentle and a beautiful person.
Lmao. 10+ years. That means so much
>you've been talking to some dude you've never met for 10 years
>he probably thinks you're still young
>youre at least in your mid 30s. Menopause is coming down your street
>after all this time, you're excited about going to le Germany. You'd think he'd have flown you out and pumped and dumped you sooner
>you think he's le sweet and gentle because you haven't seen how he talks or what he eats ( tho you probably eat worse)

>>33566504
You're very unoriginal limp dicked blue-cheese smelling balls. Unwashed boys, like yourself (chris chan types) are waaaaaay worse smelling than any woman. Women wash themselves, men are disgusting pigs.

>>33566493
>Men have always loved me.
Loved your pussy. I'd love your pussy too lmao

>>33566511
He knows my age. He is older than me... doesn't want kids (neither do I, been there done that). He is a beautiful person. Something you will never be no matter how hard you try.

>>33566504
>What do i have to do with your stink pussy debate.
Lmfao I wasn't expecting to laugh tonight

>>33566518
wait... I thought my pussy stank... make up your mind. You like stinky pussy?

>>33566524
>He is a beautiful person.
Compared to you, Frankensteins monster is a beautiful person

>Something you will never be no matter how hard you try.
Ok stinky pussy

>>33566531
A hole is a hole, hole

But thanks for reminding me that yo pussy stank, you stinky pussy skank

>>33566525
You're chris chan in mentality and a out for summer break - 14 years old.. 8th grader that posted here. Makes sense.

>>33566513
damn..... all this because I wanna play vidya.... https://m.youtube.com/shorts/kq-pu5ZtAFE

>>33566535
You're too stupid to even insult people properly.This is just boring now. Just go back to wanting to kill yourself because you're such a loser. Time for bed kiddo. Your mom should be supervising.

>>33566535
You are gay. Just admit it.

You mistook an asshole for a pussy. Boring loser.

>>33566540
OK stinky pussy. I didn't ask for an opinion from grandma tho. Go back to picking cotton

>>33566544
Stinky pussy lmao

I hate my life a little less now
On the other hand, I hate women a little more

>>33566571
I know you think you WON but you're a child, you'll never ever be loved because you're rotten to the core. Ugly inside and out, abusive, low IQ. What I love is you'll celebrate your little immature pussy stinks victory, then crash out and wanna kill yourself soon. Do it. The world is genuinely better off with people that don't hate 1/2 the population.

Your mom clearly molested you as a kid and that's why you hate women. I'm guessing her pussy stank and she was black. Why can't you find a male to fuck? Men will fuck anything, including you. Get fucked, get help or kill yourself. Pick one. That's all the friendly advice I have in me.

>>33566593
No one owes you anything in life entitled child. You are the most immature person I've ever come across and I'm not exaggerating.

>>33566604
I only read the first sentence. Hey, retard, I have a penis. That means I win by default

It's weird that kids these days demand respect when absolutely nothing about them is worthy of respect.

>>33566608
>You are the most immature person I've ever come across and I'm not exaggerating.
Glad to know I made you wet, LaQuisha. I know you can't peel yourself away

>>33566621

Your mom clearly molested you as a kid and that's why you hate women. I'm guessing her pussy stank and she was black. You're damaged goods, no one will ever want you..

To the mistake I made choosing here.
Trapped ruminations inside these walls
Where I ask questions I already know the answers to
Why do I feel sick every time I look at my hands.
Why when I take off I feel free, like there is hope again.
Thoughts of the other path
My dream far away from here
Why I get Butterflies in my stomach thinking of what his kiss feels like running into his arms when I see him for the first time
Far away from here.
In a place where I am free from your voice and looking across the room and seeing you searching for the words to lock me inside.
Walking outside is just as much a prison.
Middle of nowhere

Kids in my community are so crazy. Little vigilantes that just got a pedophile arrested. Next I will inspire them to make all 4chan psychopathic posters here famous! I can't wait for ultimate justice. My wish came true when they hacked this site, got some personal data but that's not enough for me. I want every single pos on here exposed and their face plastered everywhere. It will happen one day, I can already taste it.

>>33566958
You sound like a pick me.

>>33566972
Hey esl. Try reading each sentence again slowly.

Eat shit (^_~) ~
you are not the main character (_)
the world does not revolve around you ((>_<))
There's always someone who has it worse than you (×_×)
You have a victim complex (@_@)
Get over yourself (●v●)

I've spent a lot of time studying and interacting with people here, in hopes to save some people from their ultimate fate, but I can't. I really did try. I am going to recommend, to Trump, that sociopaths and psychopaths either be executed or be put in chains / slavery. They can't be running loose in society. It's not fair for the rest of humanity. I really do think Trump is crazy enough to take my advice. It would, of course, have to include a full reading of their internet history by AI.

I looked at a photo of me then. I was happy. I was pretty. I was hopeful.

I look in the mirror now. I am sad. I am stressed. I am anxious. I am upset. I am mentally distressed. I am tired. I am physically unhealthy. I look ugly. I look fat.

What happened that turned me into what I am now. The people that are physically around me, the place I am and choices I have made home make me look like this, I'll have made me visually worse. When I look at myself I feel that.

How do I escape when I'm constantly surrounded. Being in a room with you is radiation sickness I understand why I've become this way.

I don't want to hear your stupid voice and being next to you makes me feel sick.

I fell for a trans woman and then he detransitioned and ghosted instead of letting me hash out a new gay dynamic with him
I didn't care I'm bi anyway, but it was too much change for him and he left to focus on himself
Shit fucking hurted and it's all too advanced-queer to vent to people unless they're already on 10 layers of lgbtqiax themselves
Like none of yall niggas are gonna get it don't even bother replying with your dumb bullshit

When I look at you I literally feel vomit. I look at my hands and I want to wash your feces off. Every single thing you do, whether it's space, ignoring, criticizing, whatever it's all word vomit to get me to smile and when it doesn't work then you try to convince me that it's all my fault with somehow that I'm a bad person and I'm just like you which is complete dog shit. I'm nothing like you and the worst mistake I've ever made is being in the same room as you. That's all I can think about every time I see you is washing all of this shit off my hands.

>>33567016
>the worst mistake I've ever made is being in the same room as you
I warned you, so actually your worst mistake was not listening to me

Was probably ragebait since you never got the attention you wanted as a kid. Sucks to suck but you should take it all out on yourself instead :-)

>>33567038
The weak should fear the strong

>>33567028
When I look up from my phone at you I only see a mistake. The reason I spend so much time in my phone is to escape from you.

We are not the same. Telling me that you lied and because I fell for it at the time does not change that you are a mistake. It does not change that I don't want to be here.

So I'll smile and act like agree, go along with it just so you give me enough space to message him and free myself from this place.

My inbox is an outbox and that terrifies you.

Nyan nyan nyan nyan nihao nyan gorgeous delicious deculture

All humans on this planet are equal. No one is intrinsically above or below anyone else. I think this is a good lesson to teach people around the world.

>>33567060
>>33567063
ok
>>33567070
You're a catgirl though

When you puff up it's an ick because I see how empty what you say is and who you actually are. Then you run around to convince me that I'm mistaken but you always so who you really are every time and it reinforces the mistake I made.

>>33567073
cats are so cool people with allergies Are missing Out on this incredible species

>>33567082
catgirls are very cool, love them

The worst mistake I've ever made is you. Everything has gotten worse ever since you. There's times you made me think different but that was just a lie. I won't live in your lie anymore

>>33567087
You have to live with your mistake

>>33567098
No, I don't. I don't have to live here with you in the middle of fucking nowhere. I don't have to live in your lies and work arounds to make me stay. The further from you physically the better I feel. I look in the mirror and I see all that's happened since you leading up to right now and what it's done to me. What I had before you. I look in the mirror All I want is to wash my hands of your feces.

>>33567109
Ok, be good when I'm gone

I got my ps2 emulator up and running which is awesome!!!!!! Unfortunately I will probably proceed to never actually play dmc3. I would say I pirate for the love of the game but.. .. . I clearly don't lol.

Being in the same room with you it's a prison and you run around the walls patching up any exits and yelling loud noises to keep me stuck in the middle of the room.

But I see something you don't. A way out of this hell and everything to do with you.

There's something you missed, my escape from your desperation and this pit you've dragged me into, a small crack, a beam of light shines through, The warmth I feel whenever the light catches my eye, A way home.

>>33567114
You think acknowledgment and walking away will make me come back to you because of abandonment issues. It only reinforces your lies It shows exactly what I need to do to leave you and get back home.

Flip. The. Switch.

I looked in the mirror. I need to wash my hands.

Okay

My whole life I've felt guilty for existing. As an adult I am told I'm selfish and cold. I also have a hard time saying no politely. It's the worst of both worlds: I never fight for myself because I feel guilty, but I'm also difficult to talk to so I rarely make friends.

Holy shit you people are really fucked in the head lmfao feces.. you're so fucking stupid lololol

>>33559171 (OP)
>be short femanon with round cheeks and receding jaw
>told my whole life that i look younger than I am
>frequently hit on by male strangers at work

I genuinely believe any man who would like me without my prior interest is a pedophile. Especially if he's a different race from me. I wanna switch to a female majority job but those are rare

>>33567166
Last time I felt like someone knew me for me and accepted me for me, I was happy.

How did I lose that? How did I lose him?

>>33567173
There's only one man I've ever loved and he was short like me. He didn't love me back. But he made me feel so comfortable and he had perfect skin

>>33567129
I'm crying.

>>33566958
ME FR.

We'll keep you happy and slim

>>33567255
I remember being happy, spending the day on the phone, computer with you. The only mistake we made was not seeing each other sooner. Feelings for each other were not lost. I still love you. I just made mistakes and tried to justify them. I remember you. I remember us. If I come home, will you accept me as you said you would? It scares me to take that chance but it scares me even more to have lost you.

To the one I lost years ago
I remember being happy, spending the day on the phone, computer with you. The only mistake we made was not seeing each other sooner. Feelings for each other were not lost. I still love you. I just made mistakes and tried to justify them. I remember you. I remember us. If I come home, will you accept me as you said you would? It scares me to take that chance but it scares me even more to have lost you.

i hate myself so much. i can barely look in the mirror because i feel so sick everytime i do. like this is what i look like and im stuck like this. i hate going outside because i feel like everyones staring at me thinking oh my god what a hideous monster. its so so so exhausting. but im too embarassed to tell anyone i know in real life about this because it sounds so pathetic and they'll probably just lie and tell me i look fine

>>33567396
My mistake hit reply on your post. I deserve more than what you lied and trapped me here with. From what you took for me and continue to try to take for me. To stop me from going to. I'm going home.

When I see you. When I hear your voice. When you're in the same room as me. All I see is what you did to me and him to trap me here in the middle of fucking nowhere. I need to get it off me. Get you away from me. I can't physically be near you you make me sick

I feel petty and ashamed for feeling this way, but hearing that people who helped set me up to get fired get burned by the person who lied about me is honestly refreshing.

Sometimes I feel like I've lived this before. It doesn't surprise me to see it's the same for you and you feel the same as me.

I'm tired of mentally grabbing all of my shit to leave. I'm tired of everything here and I'm just done with it. However I time it I'm just going to do it all in one movement, grab all my shit leave the ring on the exit counter with note that simply says LIAR. NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN.

Block him on all social. Block his cell. Drive to my parents.

I won't have to process everything that happened ever since him. I cut it out completely and I myself again. I remember who I am and how I feel about everything.

I know that My brain is going to make all of that into this huge thing that's difficult to approach because it is, I fucked up. But if he is as I remember him to be, I know him to be then I just have to ask him. If he will accept me,. All of me including my flaws. And I'll tell him that I accept him all of him including his flaws. I won't give up on him and he won't give up on me

I don't have to read your posts, right?

I won't read them then, you can always (you) me

When I look up from my phone at you I only see a mistake. The reason I spend so much time in my phone is to escape from you.

i fucked up, big time. idk what im going to do now. time is running out and im becoming a bigger failure with each second passing. i dont want to kill myself but i dont see any other option. i just feel like a complete retard and i want this shit to be over already

>>33567465
I relate to you op

>>33567165
Yeah (You) are

>>33566556
Just hate fuck each other lel. Mentally ill tards.

>>33567166
What am I supposed to do with this information? Want me to fuck you and call you a small, little fuck doll and throw you around or what?

>>33567952
She's just complaining, let her.

>>33567955
No I want to fuck her now, I have a stiffy and all.

You disgust me and I want nothing to do with you.

I feel nothing for you.

I don't want to hear your stupid voice and being next to you makes me feel sick.

Every single thing you do, whether it's space, ignoring, criticizing, whatever it's all word vomit to get me to smile and when it doesn't work then you try to convince me that it's all my fault with somehow that I'm a bad person and I'm just like you which is complete dog shit. I'm nothing like you and the worst mistake I've ever made is being in the same room as you. That's all I can think about every time I see you is washing all of this shit off my hands.

No, I don't have to live with my mistake. I don't have to live here with you in the middle of fucking nowhere. I don't have to live in your lies and work arounds to make me stay. The further from you physically the better I feel. I look in the mirror and I see all that's happened since you leading up to right now and what it's done to me. What I had before you. I look in the mirror All I want is to wash my hands of your feces.
Being in the same room with you it's a prison and you run around the walls patching up any exits and yelling loud noises to keep me stuck in the middle of the room.

But I see something you don't. A way out of this hell and everything to do with you.

You will never see me again Colton

>>33567974
Tmi well go ask her if you can fuck

Sometimes, I feel so stressed and worried about my job. It's only 9:30 on a tuesday, and im already terrified I won't get enough work done today. How do I kick this feeling. I was able to complete one task that's been on my plate for a bit, and that did make me feel better. My goal was to get as many items that have been bugging me off my plate and try to focus on those tasks today rather than respond to every new email/issue that comes across my desk today.

>>33568050
Don't pretend that it wasn't you. You have multiple personalities.

None of this is anonymous. That's the part they don't understand. The glory will all be mine soon when they are exposed... name address etc.

I will have no mercy. None. The last hack was just a small preview.

>>33568061
Already have clearly - I need a woman to throw around like a ragdoll again.

When they doxx everyone here, I will be getting the kids to put photos of everyone all around the their city, along with a link to the files of what they write here. It will be glorious, no mercy for the psychopaths.

It's funny that people think they're anonymous. The entire plan of the internet ... why it was designed this way by the US government, is for this exact reason. I have been patient enough.

if i'm being empathetic and compassionate i'll sacrifice myself to keep appeasing her anxiety, but if i'm being objective, i think i'm done with this relationship

I can see why the (; face could be misinterpreted. It was my way of saying “ok I see how u think”. If u think I wanted anything except harsh consequences upon them for this then u are rudely mistaken. There’s a reason why I addressed the royal family regarding the “incident”.

>>33567400

Of course, I miss you everyday, although I am not the one you are probably talking to. I would like you to be the person I am thinking of though.

>>33567400
Yes, I would, but every time I reached out you threw me away, trying to get as far away as possible.

>>33569229
>>33567400
Truth be told, I never stopped loving you, even with all the struggles we had, I find it hard to believe you stopped loving me completely when I seemingly still hold out hope that one day we will see each other again.
It's hard to forget you when your name slips out of my mouth every night before I sleep.

>>33569242
I don't think with the method on how I've been damaged it would have been possible to admit that I loved or love you under these circumstances, even in an anonymous message. You'd have to maybe tell me the last initial of my last name, or my first initial of my middle name to give me a hint that I am not crazy

>>33569242
>>33569229
oh nevermind, u are just deciding to reply to the person I was talking to 1st after clicking my message. I replied to the message because it sounded familiar and I had told someone to go home ages ago I suppose. I assume you are just replying to vent out into the wind

I swear my navel produces the foulest smell in my entire body; I don’t understand how this is possible

Also my tonsils produce stones that smell just like my navel.

Even some of the diarrhea excreted from my butthole doesn’t smell quite this bad

>post in a thread yesterday that I'm never taking any birth control again
>some absolute dullard moron recommends the copper iud
YOU CAN STILL GET PREGNANT ON THAT, YOU FUCKING MORON, AND IT HAS BAD SIDE EFFECTS
Holy fuck some of you people are actually retarded. What part of no birth control ever again don't you understand?

You're kinda cool I guess. I'm so tired that I don't even care anymore, however gotta go, goodnight

>>33569250
Not sure for a middle name but it's an AB for an AL.

>>33569439
The same people who promote therapy here also promote birth control, coincidence?

>>33569640
I thought u were the other person, but this is good since the other person will notice if its them

>>33569655
I doubt it's her, but it's nice to believe even for a moment it could be.

>>33569659
mines a gay dude, no homo ok

>>33569664
I hate just how much she stays in my mind. Even after all this time

>>33569675
I believe there are many shapes of love in the universe which can be stronger than the prerequisites of togetherness people on this planet call a relationship.

If friendship or the love from a mother can be stronger than a relationship, other stronger shapes exist I don't understand yet.

Dear Mr. Sandman,

What the fuck is up with these whack-ass video game dreams, man? What the fuck is your problem

Seriously cut that shit out holy shit

>>33568339
I'm not pretending. I don't have multiple personalities.

>>33569737
To say the least, it felt like our souls bonded to one another. I still feel attached to her, whilst she I'm sure is happier elsewhere.
It's pathetic, it's stupid, I can't tell whether it's stubbornness or duty or some other folly or vanity that keeps me like this.
Every other aspect of my life right now is going well, everything except when I think of her.

>>33569766
I'll give you a clue. I'm on my period.

>>33569789
I looked at a photo of me then. I was happy. I was pretty. I was hopeful.

I look in the mirror now. I am sad. I am stressed. I am anxious. I am upset. I am mentally distressed. I am tired. I am physically unhealthy. I look ugly. I look fat.

What happened that turned me into what I am now. The people that are physically around me, the place I am and choices I have made home make me look like this, I'll have made me visually worse. When I look at myself I feel that.

>>33569789
If I am happy now I wouldn't look like this. I wouldnt feel like this. Everything is shit.

>>33569827
Then you would have come back to me, maybe it's in the back of your mind but I can't afford to wait forever.

Be careful
The demons in this world are aroused
Don't let anyone dangerous attach themselves to you

>>33569850
I will. It's just that it's been years and I need to get out of this hell first.

>>33569853
Too late. I'm getting cutting him out and moving back on with my parents now. So it is getting better.

>>33569853
Too late. I'm cutting him out and moving back on with my parents now. So it is getting better.

it honestly wears me down to wake up at 5.30, work 8 hours, commute an hour, grocery shopping, come home to clean up and cook three meals to have the next day and not getting chewed up by time and space

I don't like how everything sounds like what I'm going through. Almost exactly. I know I made mistakes. I'm doing what I can.

>>33569889
>>33569893
Good move
Watch who you trust until the next full moon
See what cycle occurs

>>33569918
>I'm doing what I can
If you are then you'd actually do something.

>>33569923
I don't know if I should text the guy I lost years ago now or I should get settled here first.

>>33569877
From what I've heard you're happier than you've ever been, hardly a hell - I need to stop fawning for a girl I never end held in my arms

>>33569925
I did. I moved out and am driving to my folks. Giving my dog some water and stretching his legs at a rest stop now and blocking the exs cell and socials. Hes chasing me and won't stop calling/texting.

>>33569975
I know you're not talking about me but I feel mental knowing that I am the chaser in this one specific case.

>>33569951
I am a girl and no it has been hell. Fuck off with your projections. You don't know what I've been through and what it's like to have to have experienced all this trauma from him.

>>33569984
If I just left you, moved out and took my dog then it is you and I told you to never contact me again. I'm blocking you now.

>>33569987
You're not her, I need to stop pretending. I need to put the childish things away.
I loved you more than anyone else in this life, I thought you were my soul mate, you hurt me so much and yet I love you still.
How pathetic of me, I need to find someone who's smile is like the sun and her tongue like honey to my ears.
I just need to start looking again.

>>33569925
What is your initial?

my thing with my gay friend is purely platonic, we never had sex. still though im glad I talked about it anonymously

>>33570016
I'm not you're Ex but honestly I feel concerned enough that enough of what you mentioned fits to me and mine
I know you're not mine, but I can tell you you're making the right decision.

>>33570028
Some of your words make me think that I am who you're talking about. I haven't talked to my person in years, but he is my soulmate and I don't want him to wander. It's not pathetic, it's understandable given the circumstances. He will hear my voice soon.

>>33570038
K

>doing my usual checks to see if I'm still blocked
>suddenly her Snapchat opens to the chat window
>she shows as in my contacts instead of someone to send an invite link to
>close the app to double check
>chat no longer opens but still shows her profile in my contacts
Wonder if she unblocked me for a second and reblocked soon after?

>>33570074
I wish but your initial doesn't match any of my Ex's. I hope he means as much to you as she meant to me.
Can't tell if using this place to get it out of my system is helping or not. I just need to hammer it in that I did propose to her, I did love her, I wanted her more than anyone else, but I never held her, I never kissed her, loving someone who's 5,000 miles away... It was real to me, but it doesn't change the fact that it's all make believe.

>>33570069
Are you a guy or a girl? If a guy did your person move out with her dog?

>>33570074
>K
I was just wondering because I am dealing with dealing with something similar.

>>33570048
There was a time I had my gay friend as my relationship status so others wouldnt approach me

>>33570151
Guy, I think I was just reaching honestly.

>>33570150
He means everything to me but I haven't told him yet. He never proposed to me but I always dreamed he would before I lost him by taking the wrong path. He is my soulmate and that is real. There are things that tell me that like how he is exactly 1,123 miles away from me

>>33570150
If your situation is like mine and she's still in your mind, and you're making posts here for years then it is not make believe, you're hurting because it's real, just like I'm hurting. I hope she contacts you.