Thread 33607203

Has anyone here actually been able to go from complete social retard to being charismatic? If so, how.

>>33607203 (OP)
You kinda have to be built a certain way. I don't know if it's even possible if you're built all wrong. I suppose it can take as much if not more time than what takes a regular schoolboy to develop himself into an adult.

But if you're kept back by the stress of working, surviving, dealing with the less forgiving attitudes of adults, etc, and you're aiming to penetrate in groups people are high alert of, you'll simply have a hard time.

Or if you were raised a teetotaller, religious, extreme politics/activism, that's gonna take even more effort to build over. I honestly wouldn't know where to start.

>>33607203 (OP)
put yourself out there
practice
fuck up
practice more
fuck up again
practice more

>>33607203 (OP)
to be honest surrounding yourself with funny/charismatic people really helped me. seeing how confident and witty they were helped me grow as a person. and also being drunk helps with confidence

>>33607203 (OP)
>If so, how.
Rizz 'em with the 'tism

>>33607203 (OP)
Yes
Years of university parties and alcohol
Which is basically social lube for this:
>>33607385

>>33607203 (OP)
Sertraline. If i had an autistic girlfriend, i would just fuck off from society and normie tought.

>>33607203 (OP)
Maybe the girl is mentally healthy and just doesn't like niggers.

>>33607203 (OP)
Work retail. I learned how to talk to people by working retail.

>>33607203 (OP)
You are really hard stuck in your delusional make-believe perspective. This is all on you, not me

>>33607203 (OP)
no that’s not really possible unless you are not some hidden gen late bloomer who always had the potential to begin with

past age of 25 fate is basically sealed since your brain is fully developed and starts slowly declining until the moment you die

>>33608565
I used to work at costco and I'm still socially retarded.

>>33608586
this is not true and you're a fatalistic faggot

>>33607385
>how do you learn guitar
just practice
Well, of course. That's how it is with any skill. But I'm asking for the specifics.

>>33609542
this is true and you’re mad that someone decided to speak the truth for once instead of the usual
>it’s never too late just get out there
bullshit normie advice
perhaps because you yourself want it to be not true but deep down know that it is

>>33607203 (OP)
No

>>33609536
Welcome to Costco, I love you.

>>33610254
thanks man.

>>33607203 (OP)
I wasn't a complete social retard when I started in March, but I was uh.. indoors, not taking showers, not cleaning my house, for a couple of months.

Way I turned it around is I went to meetups from meetup.com , started with hiking (which includes day trips and cool activities), then moved to boardgame meetups, then D&D, did a language eve, then gained confidence enough to start social events like meaningful conversation evenings, bar meetups just to talk, dinner with strangers, picnics with strangers, probably more things that I already forgot about by now.

So I was basically pushing myself out of fear, facing it all on my own, being extremely miserable BEFORE each event but being extremely happy during&after each event, overall improved significantly. Was very not talkative and awkward at the beginning, became a social butterfly by the end. Topped it all off with a multi-day trip with my hiking group.

Now I'm dancing Bachata and Salsa and I joined a choir because I decided I want to have 1) consistent hobbies, and 2) in my own area instead of far away.

So yeah.. Gradually through these meetups I met people I vibed with, and they became my friends. Friends is a very loose term, for me it was really hard to call someone a friend cuz I feel like no one cares enough to be truly a friend, so I just changed the meaning. Friend is someone who I meet once in a while and get to experience something I otherwise wouldn't have experienced if I didn't know them. They sometimes give me their time. It's not necessarily that I can rely on them emotionally, unfortunately. But, friends vary, and some ARE emotionally rewarding. I even made about 3 or 4 girl friends. But no romantics. Every time I expected something - it made the experience worse.

Yeah, you're welcome, these are my real experiences from March this year till July. In Aug I relapsed HARD and became potato again, now recuperating.

After every meetup there's a crashout due to loneliness. But keep, going.

>>33607203 (OP)
As a white person, I always hate when some clueless retard invites a nigger to our parties

>>33607203 (OP)
Just do what Goku does

>>33607203 (OP)
Alcohol

>>33608565
I used to work in retail for 4 years when I was 19-22. I like to think I became less autistic through customer service but I got friend zoned by 3 girl coworkers and I really don't feel like I have improved socially at all and i'm 32 now. I have had a great full-time IT job for a few years now but socially I am a fucking retard still. Every time I try to force myself out there and talk to random people to build confidence the noise in my head tells "no, what the fuck are you going to say to them?"
I really want this suffering to end

>>33611419
it will never end you just have to find a smart way to deal with pain thats it.
by smart i dont mean drugs or alcohol

>>33610871
>friends

there is a word made for that verbal struggle you have right there it is called acquaintance

I have. You got to be happy being alone first before you can do it. Being happy being alone does not mean depressively playing your hentai games at 3am while eatting junk food, depressed you'll never be the chad talking to those girls in those games. What it is is actually building your life making the most of it, not living in envy everytime. Most of all it is about having a fucking heart. Biggest take away from it is not to go through your life finding bullshit in things, even to yourself. As, you do that you will be miserable.

>>33608586
>past age of 25 fate is basically sealed since your brain is fully developed and starts slowly declining until the moment you die
lmao brain plasticity has absolutely zero to do with making friends

barely literate morons that never make it to 100 IQ at the prime of their twenties make friends and get married

>>33611419
>but I got friend zoned by 3 girl coworkers and I
>asking out coworkers

>>33611510
One of my coworkers have huge wide hips. I'd love to bang that

>>33611458
I appreciate the interjection but actually they wouldn't be acquaintances anymore because I met them personally, 1 on 1, several times, one of them I've even met about 30 times, but I still feel like he doesn't care that much. It looks like no one can really satisfy my definition of friend because my definition of friend was more like, a gf. What a gf would provide.
So I would call them friends at this point, I just changed my own definition of what friend is.

>>33607203 (OP)
>If so, how.
when I was a teen OP was me. But then I got really into "pick up artist" stuff then because I wanted to improve. I had success with it. Not because of the psychological manipulation of others- but for myself if I could put it that way.
>to being charismatic
one of the games to help you change then was to have a goal to talk to around 25 strangers in a public setting. This was to train you to get over your social anxiety and realize people are open to conversation given the correct circumstances and situation. It didn't matter if they were more attractive or wealthier than you. At the end of the day, everyone has their self-conscious negative aspect of themselves in their mind- you just had to remind them of it to level the playing field a bit. Eventually the game would have changed to 50 strangers, then to 100, then to 200 and so forth in a span of about a month. This made me less afraid to talk to beautiful women. Eventually, was even able to poke fun at muscular/threatening men just by making them look silly in front of attractive women. If you are socially adjusted, you could have conversations with five women at a time and able to keep their attention. Would amaze my friends when a group of three attractive girls would walk past me in a night club and I was able to converse with them and get their contact info like it was nothing.
>just practice
that's pretty much it

>>33611016
WoW meetups arent parties

>>33607477
this. you learn from experience.

I kinda slip into the insecure version of myself, but I stop giving a fuck about what people think of me and be my crazy conversational self, im going to keep doing it until I get a proper GF

>>33609557
Do what Anon said and start random convos with girls (bonus if hot) and groups of people, trying to befriend them, grab attention with gimmicks like big hats and stuff like that

>>33607203 (OP)
Yes. Process:

>Either go build a bankroll, or get right with yourself on how you feel about cash
you don't need to flash your money, and don't waste too much of it throwing it at new people, but you need to be knowing in your heart and emotionally feeling
>if either of us wants taquitos and tequila shots, I don't give a fuck, either it's a hard no or an instant yes for reasons independent of resources
>but I lack for nothing I want.
because that lack of fear and "don't give a fuck" is immediately apparent in your every reaction on a date. She's watching how you think about money and resources, and interactions that pattern match to 'poor' are a turnoff. You don't even fucking need the money, it's all how you carry yourself.

>go do shit
just meet people and do things, nothing happens on your computer that's ever gonna get you laid. I'm out in oregon so I used to go to a local rec center any time they held events or the local park was doing anything or had any public music, which it sometimes did. any time I saw something i found funny or a person I'd want to interact with, I'd do it. midsommar? hell yeah I'm gonna tell the hippie chick I like her cow nose thing with prongs on its prongs and ask her if it hurt when they put it in, then smoke up with her on her blanket while her dachsund licks my ear. shitty local band? hell yeah i'm gonna get blasted on modelos and ask the fishmonger on a unicycle if he'd be down to teach a drunken idiot for a few minutes about fish and unicycles, now I fish with him sometimes. you have a smartphone in your pocket, take some pics doing cool shit, now you've got a cool dating profile too. ez

>stop being a retard
you do this by example, watch dating shows to learn. recent good one was better late than single, they took a bunch of korean incels, gave them glow-up makeovers and training for dates, and then they do weird, low-status social retard things that ruin everything. choose to not be retarded like them or the losers.

>>33607477
Not OP but all my friends are charismatic chads and i'm still a boring faggot

>>33614895
I don't think that's how normal people develop their social skills

>>33608586
>since your brain is fully developed and starts slowly declining
Age 25 being full development is a pop science myth

Practice
>fuck up
Practice
>fuck up
Practice
>slightly fuck up
Practice
>fuck up
Practice
>fuck up only a little
Keep practicing, I honestly would have never imagined I would be the most out going person in my class this year. Also just be kind to everyone but don’t get treaded on.

Also drinking in social gatherings helped me realize I can be outgoing. Now I do it without alcohol.

Okay, okay, 4chan. You obviously don't know antecedants and metaphors. Alright. I fucking get it!

>>33611539
Says you.

>>33607203 (OP)
realise you are a retard, develop confidence and aura to get away with being a retard, then find the right people..
only required skill is spot when people dont want to talk to you for whatever reason, thats it

>>33611533
>tired pickup artist advice
>it worked
lmao

>>33615156
Then why are they friends with you

>>33617322
They're the kind of friends that I'd never make today, but it just works out cause we've known each other for so long.

>>33608586
>unless you are not some hidden gen late bloomer who always had the potential to begin with
Isn't that the premise of the thread to begin with though?
>how do I unlock the hidden potential I never lived up to and become cool and charismatic?
>no not like that!!

>>33611419
>the noise in my head tells "no, what the fuck are you going to say to them?"
That inner voice in your head works for you, not the other way around. So train it to say something else.

>>33614895
>grab attention with gimmicks like big hats and stuff like that
Talking to people is fine and exactly what he should do.
Attention whoring gimmicks like WACKY!/le quirky hats and so forth are not and are pure cringe.

>>33607203 (OP)
talking to women makes me feel retarded, because they pretend they are a genius and you are a peasant wasting their time but they actually have nothing important or significant to do besides watch tiktok and Netflix.

>>33607203 (OP)
I probably was never a
>complete social retard
by 4chan standards, but I went from being noticeably bad and unwilling to put myself in those situations, to being good at telling stories, entertaining people and even sometimes being the life of the party.

things that helped
>retail job where I had to help and counsel a lot
>eventually finding a job I love where I occasionally meet new people who are happy to meet me
>becoming fit and confident in my body, and optimizing my general appearance
>alcohol & party drugs (not as a crutch, but as a way to discover other ways to behave and other facets of my personality. a single dose of mdma changed me for the better) which I dont use anymore
>newfound success with women thanks to all the above

this was a ~15 year long process

>>33614895
>big hats and stuff like that
What the fuck does that mean? That just makes you look stupid “hey everyone look at this sombrero I have on!”

>>33607203 (OP)
I grew up in a neighborhood full of tough guys who loved fighting and drinking/drugs
My older siblings were cool and had lots of friends
They would fuck with me constantly and I turned into a meek and subdued kid
My parents were one of the few who weren't druggies themselves, and made sure I come in when the streetlights came on
I was the youngest
So I was bullied and as a result had zero self confidence and no friends
Then came high school
No one from my hood went to this school because it was a vocational school that taught trades so you had to be somewhat smart
My freshmen year was starting out to be the worst year of my life because now I had to deal with "inner city youths" literally beating the shit out of any and all they see as weak
So I decided to make friends no matter what
I got in with some degenerate people but they just drank and smoked some pot
I just went with it and went to every party every gathering hung out with everyone I could
I eventually took up the guitar which helped a lot with making friends and talking with people
This was a very long time ago but I found a smoking hot broad to marry and had 3 kids so I think I did allright
Just like anything you have to want it

>>33607203 (OP)
Guy looks dusty

Bump

>>33611539
How would you know the person is black at a wow party

>>33621321
He thought his joke was clever because he is black

>>33621321
>How would you know the person is black at a wow party
What?