Thread 149961620

All of you filthy degenerates are never going to Heaven!

>>149961620 (OP)
Unless proven otherwise onscreen this ship is canon to me.

>>149961620 (OP)
>All of you filthy degenerates are never going to Heaven!
No shit sherlock

>>149961620 (OP)
Said no angel ever that hasn't fallen

Lute did nothing wrong. Demons are bad

>>149961680
she should be exterminating the hellborn or atleast the overlords instead of targeting random powerless sinners

>>149961690
Vaggie doesn't want to kill a hell born kid
>Killing hell born is okay but a kid that's where I draw the line!
Meanwhile Loona killed a baby in the pilot

>>149961690
This would be a good point against the Exorcists, too bad the show doesn’t ever bring it up.

why are we discussing this ugly ass show? seriously

>>149961794
>pepe on /co/
Go back.

>>149961877
>What is Boy's Club?

lute? more like fluke

>>149961620 (OP)
Please, step on me angel mommy! The demonesses are too nice and refuse to bully me, they want to redeem me but I just want to be punished.

Who wants to read about angels falling prey to human cock?

>>149961620 (OP)
>adhere to a specific set of guidelines laid out by a single man in a relativley tiny localized area of the entire planet to a small subset of our entire species, of which has only existed for less than 1/1000ths of a percent of the entire history of reality itself, or you WILL be punished for all eternity in a place of fire and pain, forever
>no it doesn't matter if you never even heard this one dude's name before, stop asking already
>also give us money and no gays
Your God is too small

>>149962397
*Raises hand*

>>149962420
Coal post
Gem webm

>>149962397
Well, Adam was a human, angels definitely love human cock.

>>149961620 (OP)

I think i would be the one from all of us to redeem our way to heaven

>>149961742
Vivzie being a fucking hypocrite, simple as, My Brother in Christ

>>149962462
>>149962522
Ao3.org/works/61849258/chapters/158144404

>>149962320
>dangertits
>flatter chest than Angel Dust
Heaven is disappointing.

>>149962806
lilith is vivzie self insert, far more than charlie...it makes sense the more viv likes a character, the more sexy it gets.

>>149963678
She needs to give more love to heaven in season two. Corruption of angels > redemption of demons

>>149961742
"ow"

>>149963978
Go to hell
Gay paradise
Me

>>149961620 (OP)
god would forgive me for gooning to pokemon and lolis, r-right?

>>149964091
>gooning to pokemon
Personally I never understood that. But then again I stopped following after third edition. I heard there's a meme about a rabbit.

>>149961620 (OP)
yes I fucking will, he forgives everyone that asks him.

>>149963694
I'd rather see God showing up, to just decide to throw Holy Nukes in each ring as a Godly Massive Middle Finger toward his wayward sons and daughters for always screwing everything he tries to do for the Good of Humanity and the Safety of the Heavenly realm, also he should look like Arnold in Conan the Barbarian

>>149964129
This one?

>>149961620 (OP)
Why doesn't heaven use guns? I don't qant to be that guy, but using a weapon that you have to get in striking distance seems like a tactical disadvantage. Why isn't this more of an issue?

>>149961690
Hellborn should be pitied by Heaven, they are the real innocent souls having been born in Hell and never got to experience the Light of God, it’s literally not their fault.

>>149964403
They're on a trial run in Japanese Heaven

>>149964406
It's kind of funny, so sinners go to hell as punishment. Hellborn, technically could never do nothing wrong and still exist in the same plane.

>>149961680
This

>>149961620 (OP)
You need to die

>>149961620 (OP)
True for all 4channers

>>149961690
I wonder there is a sect of exorcist who do target overlord

>>149961642
Delusional cuntscum

>>149964463
Yes, we call that Catholicism. Keep up, anon.

I think Adam would love Panty Anarchy

>>149964867
Maybe, and they might hook up, but I also think Adam wouldn't be able to satisfy her. It'd be like comparing a professional boxer from the 1900s to a pro boxer today.

>>149964988
Adam does seem like the kind of guy to sit back, and let the girls do all the work.

>>149965015
He lets the girl bounce on it while he watches family guy funny moments on his phone

>>149965015
>>149965190
>Panty and Adam hook up
>She is pissed about having to do all the work, says he's shit in bed
>His Dickmaster™ ego is bruised, gets her and her sister kicked out of Heaven so she can't go spreading it around
it all makes sense

>>149965190
>Uh
>Uh
>Uh, sir pls can you at least skip to another video. This is the fith time you watch all Meg abuse video

>>149965250
>Ugh fine
>*Puts on american dad steve singing comps*

>>149961620 (OP)
Lute def fucks Adam don't she

>>149962420
The more ot doesn't make sense, the more the Reformed Prpts believe there is proof that they are "heavenbound"

>>149964229

In old threads there was this idea of God being a Boomer and the other angels being his Jocks and Chads sons, while Lucifer being considered the Theatre Kid of the family.

Being feared and respected by all the sinners and hellspawn, while to Big G he was just his rebellious child going through a phase that moved down to live in the basement.

>see this
Wat do?

>>149965841
Have her smoke pot

>>149965515
>be me
>God
>been running Heaven since forever
>kids these days don’t even pray, just vibe check me on TikTok
>sip Monster™ Ultra Paradise bc coffee doesn’t hit anymore
>white can, because I’m not a savage
>remember when little Lu' was still my good boy theater kid
>wouldn’t shut up about “dad look at my monologue”
>clapped every time
>thought he was edgy cause he wore eyeliner once
>fast forward couple eternities
>Lucy starts a whole rebellion cause “dAd yOu DoN’t uNdErStAnD mY vIbE”
>ok.jpg
>thought it was cute
>next thing I know, he’s down in Hell cosplaying Hot Topic CEO, all his friends are down there singing about trauma and depression
>meanwhile my angels up here want union breaks and pronoun pins on halos after they met with some hellsluts
>they don’t even know the Ten Commandments by heart
>tfw Heaven HR won’t stop emailing me about Adam's "insensitive extermination remarks"
>my own Son hangs out with sinners more than me
>boys will be boys
>I just wanted to vibe with my golden oldies playlist and watch mortals invent bread again
>honestly miss the good old days, back when floods solved everything

>>149961680
always by nature

>>149961620 (OP)
What if Lute was (you)r guardian angel?

>>149967085
She'd be very aggressive and threaten to cut my nuts off if I jack off again

>>149967085
I would be the goodest boy ever so I can get into heaven and exterminate the sinners with her. Although she would be angry and mad she was assigned to a nerdy loser like me and throw me into dangerous situations involving handholding, kissing and soaking.

>>149965515
Definitely better times

>>149961620 (OP)
imagine Lute kicking you in the balls ha ha

>>149966004
>white can, because I’m not a savage
Dunno why this made me laugh so hard

>>149966004
Boomer God is funny, I want to see him interact with other gods.

>>149966004
oh my god
it will suck ass that we'll never get a god like this on the show

>>149965841
why has nobody ever made a pathogen to exterminate en masse all sinners? making life in Hell an impossibility.
or make hell into a factory for infinite energy with everything sentient and sapient the fuel for it?
I can go on and on for final solutions.

>>149962757
>innocent /co/ posters
the doll needs to be in a jar

Kill demons. Behead demons. Roundhouse kick a demon into the concrete. Slam dunk a hellborn baby into a trash can. Crucify filthy sinners. Defecate in a demon's food. Launch demons into the sun. Stir fry demons in a wok. Toss demons into an active volcano. Urinate in a demon's gas tank. Judo throw demons into a wood chipper. Twist demons heads off. Report demons to the IRS. Karate chop demons in half. Curb stomp pregnant hellborn sinners. Trap demons in quicksand. Crush demons in the trash compactor. Liquefy demons in a vat of acid. Eat demons. Dissect demons. Exterminate demons in the gas chambers. Stomp demon skulls with angelic boots. Cremate demons in the oven. Lobotomize demons. Mandatory abortions for hellborn. Grind hellborn fetuses in the garbage disposal. Drown demons in fried chicken grease. Vaporize demons with a ray gun. Kick elderly hellborn down the stairs. Feed demons to alligators. Slice demons with katanas.
TOTAL DEMON DEATHHH!

>>149961620 (OP)
Did Adam know she loved him?

>>149961620 (OP)
That's fine. As long as my wife and kids make it.

>>149961620 (OP)
Lute rimjobs!

>>149967201
>Lute's assigned human is a weak loser
>He's faithful but he's a wimp
>Decides to help him get his shit together
>Appears to him in a dream
>Shoves him to the ground and tells him he's going to get his shit together if she's his guardian Angel
>He wakes up and immediately goes to the gym
>Lute watches whilst hovering above him with a smirk of approval

>>149969640
What does angel ass taste like?

>>149970273
It tastes heavenly.

>>149970273
Angel food cake and gold

How big is Lilith?

>>149970312
>>149970315
Well, that isn't so bad

>>149970273
Lute GIVING rimjobs

What do you think Lilith's voice should sound like?

>>149970544
Who is another expensive celebrity Viv likes?

>>149970401
Lilith is an inch or two shorter than Adam in the opening sequence. And Adam is a giant.

>>149961620 (OP)
Cool

>>149966004
>Apparently the requierements to get into heaven were not clear enough.
>Even when I tried to be as concise as possible and leave only 10 commandments
>Even then, the idea of "try not to be an asshole" should be obvious enough.
>But apparently not... Them kids just ain't right
>Redemption this, Damnation that
>"It's unfair", or "not unfair enough".
>I just wanna fish some Leviathans and have a nice grill on the week-End Times
>For Me Sake!

>>149970610
Sweet.

>>149970610

Checks out, they don't make them like they used to I tell you.

>>149969524
Probably did at the very end when he realized she was the only one that would actually cry for him

>>149961620 (OP)
Probably not, but my version of heaven would be very different. Like I’m into cbt so I don’t think that’s Christian heaven.

>>149961642
I know this is bait but you just know Lute would be anti-tranny as fuck

>>149970539
revolting. perish.

>>149971784
Silly, in this scenario Lute is forced to give new arrivals in Heaven rimjobs to "purify" them

>>149961690
Heaven in this franchise operates on Rule of Stupid.

The only divine characters who understand what the demons are doing to corrupt humans are the Cherubs and conveniently the Cherubs are the ones that got kicked out of Heaven because they accidentally killed an EVIL human in the middle of fighting against demons. Heaven being stupid is simply annoying. It's not even funny.

And its going to be sad when we see Lute get killed off. It will be a miracle if Lute survives Season 2. Because I already hate Emily and Sera who in Season 2 according to the leaks are saying sinners are innocent.

>>149971913
they'll kneel at her altar and speak in tongues to her immaculate lower halo, and anyone with thoughts like yours will be cast into the pit

>>149971973
this makes me sad in a way, so much potential and yet it was wasted.

>>149972003
Think what bothers me more is that other series like Gaslight District continue the same trend that Heaven is both evil and stupid.

>>149971901
Everyone on earth becomes Christian but the white race goes extinct or everyone on earth becomes atheist but the white race is the only race left; what do you choose?

>>149971973
>>149972067

I'm not bothered by the "The heaven/church is actually the bad guys". What rolls my eyes is the trope:
>Want my characters to win but I don't know how to write smart and cunning characters.
>Let's make the bad guys do stupid shit instead.

Classic hack writing.

>>149972143
>what do you choose?
I choose none of the above. God created all races he will preserve all, after all is said and done this world will be reborn while the wicked are destroyed

>>149962420
I think a hazbin/helluva crossover with venture bros would be interesting

>>149972143
>whites will forever be remembered as the ones who spread Christ to all corners of the world and be revered until the end.
>Giving all souls a chance at eternity.
>Also no more white leftist women to make us look bad.
Pretty good trade in my opinion.

>>149972187
This

If Heaven is so stupid and bad then why does everybody want to get redemption and ascend? Checkmate, sinners.

>>149961877
shut up tourist.

>>149962420
Gem post
Gem webm

>>149970539
This is canon but only for Adam

>>149971973
Was this deleted because of the "Emily and Sera..." thing?

>>149972407
Everybody like who?

The humans we don't see anywhere in this show?
The sinners that think such an idea is absolute Bullshit?

That's one of the biggest holes in the whole script.

>Aw gee, heaven is constantly culling off our people and pretty much have demostrated how much they hate us.
>Oh I know! I'll try to rehab these fucks so they can be accepted into the place where the people that hate us and constantly kill us live.

>>149972264

>Praise White God!

>>149970049
and thats how the doomslayer was born.

>>149973108
revolting, drop dead

>>149970539
Angels were made to receive rimjobs. It's in the Bible.

>“And it came to pass, when the children of men had multiplied, that in those days were born unto them beautiful and comely daughters. And the angels, the children of heaven, saw and lusted after them, and said to one another: ‘Come, let us choose us wives from among the children of men and beget us children.’”
>“And they took unto themselves wives, and each chose one for himself, and they began to go in unto them and to defile themselves with them. And they taught them charms and enchantments, and the cutting of roots, and made them acquainted with plants. And they became pregnant, and they bare great giants…”
>And Azazel taught men to make swords, knives, shields, and breastplates, and made known to them the metals of the earth and the art of working them, and bracelets, and ornaments, and the use of antimony, and the beautifying of the eyelids, and all kinds of costly stones, and coloring tinctures. And there arose much godlessness, and they committed fornication, and they were led astray, and became corrupt in all their ways.”

>>149976452
are we truly ready to have the book of enoch conversation? ngl I am static you brought it up and the implications

>>149976483
Oh, we can get even deeper, if you want - what do you think about Alphabet of Ben-Sira? Zohar’s cosmic erotica, uniting Shekhinah and Tiferet? Cosmic sex of creation, divine energy flowing like semen into the world? And of course, the classic Testament of Solomon, it should come with warning to not try it at home, but it's easy way to get your own Charlie, for curious anons.

>>149976732
interesting, for spicing things up a little how about adding the kolbrin while at it?

Open the door, anon.

>>149977269

>You can't force me without a warrant bitch! I have rights!!

>this is your heartless villainess
Say something nice about her.

>>149962420
Read all of this in Moarch's voice. Thanks for the laugh, anon.

>>149968807
But what about the Imps, Succubi, Infestors, Hellhounds, Baphomets and the Goetia?

>>149968807
Because outside of Adam and the exorcists, Heaven is full of wimps.

>>149964867
She'd chew him up

I love Lucifer, he's such a slut.

If in the upcoming seasons it turns out that one of Adam's sons is actually Lucifer's, I will be very upset.
i bet that it will be Cain

>>149980618
I sqear this show is like isn't "paradise lost" the coolest book ever.

>>149978428
She's cute and passionate and I like that she's smitten with Adam on a non-superficial level. She deserves First Man dick.

>>149976452
I always found it funny the angel who taught mankind how to forge weapons and go to war also taught them about makeup and jewelry, like waging war and being pretty are equally evil.

>>149981374
What do I have to do in life to get a cute angel providing me with Monster supply in the afterlife?

>>149980618
Imagine if they do this, but also show Adam was the better man who stepped up and still loved Cain as his own whole Lucifer didn’t give a fuck about his bastard.
I simply refuse to believe Adam was bad from the start, he had to have been good in some way to get into Heaven in the first place.

>>149978716
what about them? they are just a bonus.
>>149979823
I noticed...can't wait to see Heaven turn into the hood of the afterlife.

>>149981669
Earn your spot in Heaven.

>>149980618
what I want is cain ruining everyone's life as punishment for what happened with adam and being the worst of lucifer.
for example he coul roofie and get vaggie pregnant, mirroring how lucifer cucked adam.

>>149962420
Because the idea that you die and go to heaven or hell is made up fiction. There are 4 chambers for souls, the main ones described in new testament are abrahams bosom and the one next to it. 2 Esdras clarifies this is Paradise, the same paradise jesus spoke of on the cross is underground. And if you feel you were dealt unjustly you can make your case to 'see the light of life' as told in Job 33. So really you think youre being clever but youre just as biblically illiterate as the people spreading the heaven/hell lie. No one is currently burning and wont be until judgement day where the death is instant, not eternal torment.

>>149981965
What do you mean, earn? Don't humans that don't sin get a spot automatically? Especially if they have big dicks.

>>149982266
Just don't be an awful person. It's not hard, even Adam did it.

>>149970621
based

This TV man is sexy.

Anyone know some fics with Charlie/Adam being the ship? I like the idea of Adam getting back at Lucifer and Lilith by holding hands with their daughter.

>>149982720
Adam was literally the first one in line, he got in by default.

>>149962420
Due to the time of Moses, all of humanity did know God. By the time of Abraham they willingly turned away from God to worship false idols. Those tribes of people chose to turn away, they chose hell. Faith in God was not invented 3K BC by Abraham. It was there from the very start.

Can someone make a fic of Vox and Velvette?

>>149964463
That is sort of the whole point behind original sin. All of humanity is bound for hell as the default anon. That has been the belief since the beginning of the church.

ENTER

>>149971901
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Jesus_of_Nazareth_(Earth-616)

>>149984752
C-christbros.. OUR RESPONSE?!

>>149983377
What about the Hindus? Or the Chinese? The goddam Sumerians? What about the actual, measurable BILLIONS of years that preceded the very existence of our planet, much less life itself?

>>149984752
>Marvel adapted bible stories in the 1950s
Huh you learn something new every day. Seems pretty respectable compared to turning him into a funko pop.

>>149984877
You know what she needs
https://youtu.be/c50qJiiB-O0
https://youtu.be/My8EdxW8-o8
A nice soup made with love

>>149978530
I read it in Orpheus' voice given that he's someone who doesn't believe in God

Premarital sex with Lute.

>>149985500
Lute would put you in a chastity belt until marriage.

>>149985500
Lute is made for Adam

>>149985500
God's loop hole
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus

>>149985541
they even had the same eyes and vibed well...makes you wonder if she would have made a better mother for humanity than eve and even lilith.

>>149985652
Well she at least wouldn't have eaten the fruit and probably would have choked the snake out

>>149985652
>Humanity but all Nephilim
God would've smashed the hard reset button

>>149984877
My friend..

>>149985696
>God would've smashed the hard reset button
that faggot didn't even care when lilith and lucifer did it, he may as well gifted them hell for fucking over adam and humanity as a whole.
perhaps if lute just inhabited the body of a human or became human just for that then we might had been alright though, still fuck that guy for even allowing that shit fly by.

>>149984752
This is much weirder and less edgelord atheist than I would have thought.

>>149985722
That's a bootleg, bro. That doesn't count

>>149985884
Abrahamic religion in cape comics has always been weird because they also establish other religions exists as well but God is still above them all

>>149985696
makes you wonder how many times he pressed that button due to adam either straight up abstaining or killing eve seconds after being kicked out of eden

>>149982987
hmmm, there is wings of ashes
https://archiveofourown dot org/works/53977513
and god says feelings are for pussies
https://archiveofourown dot org/works/56513131/chapters/143623399
to name a few

>>149985921
He probably thought of resetting when Sodom and Gamora were a thing but the angels convinced him to just do the two cities and leave the rest

>>149976732
>Oh, we can get even deeper, if you want - what do you think about Alphabet of Ben-Sira?

>Karaite shitpost making fun of Rabbinic Jews
>Talking sperm
>Donkeys pissing and shitting in the water they drink
>God has to stop Adam from fucking animals
>Somehow becomes a Rabbinic document

Its an amazing text.


>Zohar’s cosmic erotica, uniting Shekhinah and Tiferet? Cosmic sex of creation, divine energy flowing like semen into the world?

A lot of mystical exegesis on creation are weirdly horny, and the Zohar is mild by comparison with its world sustaining brother sister incest. Christian Gnostic and Manichean texts like the Paraphrase of Shem read like some of the most depraved hentai in existence.


>And of course, the classic Testament of Solomon, it should come with warning to not try it at home, but it's easy way to get your own Charlie, for curious anons.

Doesn't tell you how to initially summon a demon just how to thwart them. And I doubt anyone would want to waifu Enepsigos. You're thinking of the Key of Solomon which doesn't even have any female demons in it. Even though Paimon was probably a chick before the Latin redactor got his hands on it.

>>149985913
That's accurate based on how you view things, certain stories in the Bible heavily imply other gods exist in some form but God is above them all/the only true one.

>>149986019
>>God has to stop Adam from fucking animals
God saw Adam take one look at horse lips and knew he himself had to put a stop to that.

>>149961742
Holy shit this fucking animation, is the rest of the show like this too.

>>149986081
No
That's just the pilot from 6 years ago
The actual show is smoother

>>149986096
That's from the pilot, brother.

My guardian Angel is cool! Lute!

>>149985885
>t. copium
>goalposts moving
In character for Christkeks tho

Lute needs hugs.

>>149986670
>g-g-goalposts!!!
Keep yapping and I'll make (you) into a funko pop

>>149987224
Indeed she does
Poor girl

>>149987224
>>149987347
>demoted
>disabled
>the only person who ever cared about her is dead
>the elder angel who greenlit her life's mission abandoned the cause
>the rest of the kingdom now is more sympathetic to the enemy than their kingdom's troops
>the person whose one job is to make sure everyone is happy can't even be arsed to give her a half-hearted "I'm sorry for your loss"

>>149984874
They all knew God when building the tower of babel. There was a time when all peoples on the Earth knew God. Anyone who does not know him now turned away from him.

>>149987351
Happiness of human souls that reached the Heaven - nobody in Heaven cares about feelings of angels, it mortals' job to make your angel happy.

>>149987627
>it mortals' job to make your angel happy
Her mortal got stabbed.

>>149961620 (OP)
I love Lute. I would never go for it though out of respect for Adam. Unless my Adam tulpa gives the green light.

>>149987690
Was he her first, or what? Mortals have expiration date, time to get a new one.

>>149985652
>Adam...
>Adam..?
>ADAM!
>...
>Why is it always due to the women in my life?
>*Dies.*

>>149987627
>It's mortals job to make their angels happy.
>Is that why Emily won't leave You alone?
>She wants to be happy?
>As you lie there, pretending to be asleep, feeling her eyes bore into you as she stands in the shadow of the corner, this thought crosses your mind.
>Is this how it is?

>>149987814
>Mortals have expiration date
They literally have eternal life promised to them if they're good retard

>>149987814
Loser option for disloyal whores. She's about to make Adam's death everyone else's problem as it should be.

Rooting for Lute. Burn em all, Dangertits.

>>149981718
>I simply refuse to believe Adam was bad from the start, he had to have been good in some way to get into Heaven in the first place.
All the people that he mistreated on camera are from hell except Lucifer and vaggie
He treated his subordinates like it's his personal Halo CE lobby and sought approval from sera. He's only "evil" towards the protagonists
>>149985541
>>149987347
>>149987351
>Lute is made for Adam
>Because sera demanded so
>So she can control him and send him against any problem
>But also to avoid seeing him descent into madness or depression, losing him forever
>Neither lute nor Adam know this
>And now that he's gone, she's deemed unnecessary

>>149989015
Yeah it's notable that Adam is far, far nicer to his subordinates than any of the Overlords in hell. He doesn't threaten them and as far as we can tell they follow him out of free will. Instead he hypes them up and offers prizes for good performance. You couldn't picture, say, Vox swearing vengeance for one of his little lackeys but Adam's fucking pissed when he finds that headless exorcist. Adam probably could mistreat his subordinates if he really wanted to because he has a free pass to be a bit of a cunt, he could probably get away with groping them or pressuring them for sex, but he explicitly doesn't do that and seeks hookups from the general population without a power dynamic swung in his favor.

>>149988589
I hope the bitch who draw that gets railed Ned Beatty in Deliverance, fucking disrespectful fedora tipping retard

>>149961620 (OP)
Lute, your almightily creator Vivzieblart's version of Heaven seems easy as fuck to get into as long as you arent scum of the earth lol. Its a very weenie hut juniors version of biblical canon

>>149989227
You good Anon?

>>149989074
It's funny how they couldn't commit to making a strawman like Adam genuinely bad because it would make them actually uncomfortable. He's a jackass but only really to denizens of Hell, and his beliefs about Hell and sinners aren't unfounded since his whole family got fucked up from the introduction of sin by Lucifer before anything else really had a chance to happen. Then the responsibility of reverse engineering some kind of moral system fell solely onto him, a guy who was just thrust into the world and given dominion without guidance while having his life toyed with by superpowered, supernatural beings. Shit's fucked and Lucifer is NOT a good guy to anyone who can think deeper than the surface of their personalities.

>>149970621
All European Pagan religions are just a bastardized version of worshiping God. They all deviate from the religion of the first Indo-Europeans which revered the almighty Sky Father of the Heavens which created everything. Zeus, Odin, or whatever other wised patriarch cheif god you can think off from Ireland to Russia is the same fucking shit when you look at the base concept. I mean just look at Germanic paganism, if you ignore it being a violent bloodletting cult of warmongers who practice human sacrifice it shares many concepts with Christianity. Such as Valhalla and Hel (Heaven and Hell), Valkyries are very similar to Angels and literally take warriors to Heaven/Valhalla. Odin/Woden hanging himself on the world tree and stabbing himself on his own spear, basically killing himself to obtain forbidden knowledge draws parallels to both Christ's sacrifice but also the forbidden fruit. Odin did not do what he did to save humanity or anything noble, he did it for his own selfish reasons to gain more knowledge, much like Adam and Eve did with the tree's fruit in the garden. Also the word serpent that coils the world tree and the lucifer in snake form hanging around the tree of the forbidden fruit is another parallel. The point is there are frankly too many similarities to make it a coincidence in my opinion. Even though they aren't indo-european, whatever those ancient jews were smoking was the grounds for a return to less heathen-y worship. Which got perfected with Christ. Why God chose the Levant to start propagating a return to proper worship of him, I don't know. Honestly all this boils down to some people being pissy the tales of the Bible mainly took place in the Levant and Middle East, and not Northern Europe. In the alternate reality where God put his focus on Northern Europe and Christ was born in Denmark or something, so many larpagans would be dickridding the religion so damn much. It's just the Hebrew origins that gives some people the ick.

You guys ended up arguing about religion. I wonder when someone is gonna start reporting the other to shut down the debate. Usually its the guy who started it.

>>149989795
Cant a man ramble about his schizophrenic Sky Father theory in peace Pomni?

>>149989227
Take it easy, it's just a drawing

>>149988887
>Adam from the After-Afterlife.

>>149989074
Remember, he's only really nasty with Vaggie because oh, I don't know, she betrayed all of Heaven. Yeah, maybe Lute over reacted a bit when she took out her eye and lobbed off her arm, but Lute let a Cannibal Child go. A cannibal. That kids been down there since the 1900s, he's not like one of the denizens that's an actual child. That child has consumed his fellow man for decades. She should have put him down.

>>149990704
I liked it better when vaggie wasn't an angel.

say...how will charlie react if instead of an invasion, adam just played the long game and began sending charlie the corpses of every single sinner she redeemed?

>>149990944
Charlie would have a mental breakdown.

>>149990891
I liked it better when she was a moth sinner. Shit was cute. However it in is, we got what we got.
I wish we could get to see Adam from Super Heaven chilling with Moses and Jesus cheering on Lute.

>>149989689
TRVTH NVKE but unironically

>>149991181
I think her being an angel added a bit to her character since she doesn't have a lot to begin with

>>149989340
It says a lot about the sinners in the show. Just try to do good, it's not like you'll get sent to Viv's Hell for skipping sunday school or being gay. But they can't even do that no wonder Adam and Lute don't want them around the innocent souls in Heaven.

>>149989594
I would expect Adam to be nicer to sinners, because he is not only the original dickmaster, but also the original sinner. He needs to take responsibility from dooming me by snacking on forbidden fruits. I accept cute angel gfs as apology.

>>149987814
>Was he her first
yes
literally THE first

>>149992376
He didn't take the apple first, he had it after his wife, and she was consumed by evil for her sin. It's entirely possible that Adam once held some measure of pity, maybe even sadness for those who sank below the earth - but after thousands of years, what can you do? Humanity doesn't change. It wars, rapes, pillages, kills, destroys the cradle that nurtured it. At some point, he's gonna stop caring.

>>149968807
>make hell into a factory for infinite energy
My man never made it to nekravol

>>149981974
>for example he coul roofie and get vaggie pregnant, mirroring how lucifer cucked adam.
And Cain makes Charlie raise the bastard baby

>>149992477
>In the beginning, Adam was like Charlie.
>He begged for his children to be redeemed, his grandchildren, his great grandchildren.
>But as the generations wore on, and it was shown that they do not follow the teachings of God, and maybe simple writhe in their own sin, he begins to feel disconnected from humanity.
>Even those who manage to ascend to heaven by being a good person, he does not feel all too happy for them.
>He begins to see them as just being lucky. When you live in a world like the 21st century, with every sin at your fingertips, you just have to become lucky, he guesses.
>Then, there's Charlie.
>Lucifers spawn.
>The Anti Christ.
>The Daughter you could've had.
>She's bright eyed, big hearted.
>She has a program to redeem sinners.
>Bah. She wastes her own time.
>The Angels know how humans can redeem themselves before death, that's fine.
>But sinners?
>They've already had their chance, so they never bothered to find out. Even so, their souls are corrupted. Putrid.
>They never would fit in in heaven.

>>149992517
What energy could Heaven possibly need from the sinners of Evil in the Hazbinverse? They don't need Hell.
Manufacture a holy nuke from the ghost of Little Boy and Fat Man, and be done with it.

>>149992550
You could always make your own heaven, with blackjack and hookers.

>>149992550
adam biggest power move would have been to kill eve or straight abstain.
not making humanity at all, that one move would have actually done what no one could and thats forcing god hand.
if god makes a new adam and eve/lilith, he'll indirectly tell everyone he made a mistake and if he forces adam to reproduce...what will that say about god?

>>149992669
That's Demiurge talk.

Post goofball Emily and Charlie.

>>149992624
that would be interesting...making a whole new space particularly for and by winners.
a cyberworld and the last place they could run away from after Heaven slowly becomes a ghetto.

>>149992697
You called?

>>149992697
ugh fine.

>>149992578
>holy nuke
Armaments 2:9

>>149992734
Sorry Anon Emily prefers human men.
Perhaps a little too much.

>>149992578
>What energy could Heaven possibly need from the sinners of Evil in the Hazbinverse?
Not heaven, earth

>>149992822
What energy could hell produce that earth could use?

>>149992669
Hey, show Charlie doesn't have boobs.

>>149993052
All that fire can be used to make steam, if nothing else

>>149993107
But I like demons with booba!

>>149993165
We have demons with booba and her name is Verosika!

>>149993107
>>149993165

>>149989227
Hope you die.

>>149992376
>also the original sinner
Demonstrably incorrect. If anything he's managing the absolute shitshow Lucifer made of humanity by keeping the afterlife for the good ones safe from the bad ones while Lucifer does fuckall. Even Charlie's idea will only work on the small percentage of sinners who are more ambiguously reprehensible. Unless some asspull redeems the vast majority of sinners, they're just constantly going to be a threat necessitating culling. The only way to "redeem" humanity outside of an asspull is for Charlie to lean into being the Antichrist and take over Hell and Earth, revoking the free will that allows people to be scumbags. That probably wouldn't go over well with Heaven either.

>>149989689
Holy shit I never thought of that before

>>149993202
>In today's episode: Charlie gets baby fever after watching Uncle Cain's kid.

>>149993384
>Unless some asspull redeems the vast majority of sinners
Isn't this Jesus' job?

>>149989689
Isn't it funny how Europe and the Near East have very similar manners of Gods, but going further out you get weirder and weirder shit, like the Gods of Ancient China or Mesoamerican Gods?
And then there's the idea that the Aztecs encountered Jesus and were awaiting his return

>>149993477
Jesus provides the means of getting to Heaven, but you can still choose not to use those means. That's the whole free will thing that lets so many people still get sent to Hell in the first place. Hedonism and selfishness is naturally more appealing than temperance and kindness. That's why Charlie needs to take over and enforce it as law.

>>149993477
Pretty much yeah
As long as one repents and accepts Jesus Christ as their lord and savior then they are redeemed of any sin no matter how heinous

>>149993561
But if you enforce it, where is the free will to become good? Kindness needs to be a choice.

>>149993570
You do have to truly repent though

>>149993590
Bible don’t say nothing about full repent just that you have to repent

Ain't it odd that Dante's fanfiction is widely accepted as factual?

>>149993681
It still stands as the most interesting version of hell

>>149993622
>full repent
That's what repenting is

>>149993695
Fair enough.

>>149993702
Yet you phrased it like there was a difference

>>149993589
When Charlie takes over there will be no more need for things like "choice". You will be kind. Or else.

>>149993750
Because there's a difference between paying lip service and actually having a change in heart, the former isn't repenting the latter is

What would a human Charlie look like?

>>149993837
a blue-eyed aryan woman!

>>149972833
Seething

>>149993772
>Wave bye-bye to naughty thoughts,
>to your tempers and your greed…
>You don’t need that heavy will,
>Just my love is all you need!
>No more lies, no more pain,
>No more chaos in your brain
>Just be happy, just be kind,
>Leave your wicked self behind!

>So dance and sing and cheer with me,
>in my perfect family!
>No more dark, no more night,
>just eternal candy-light!
>You’ll be good, you’ll be mine,
>till the end of sweetest time!
>Smile forever, laugh and play,
>in my happy, happy way!

>>149993772
Kindness without sincerity is a window dressing, at best. You'd just be dressing up apathy with fancy bows

>>149993916
Emily?

>>149993784
Then say that instead of using repent as a umbrella term

>>149994114
It's really not that hard to understand unless you're an idiot

>>149994045
I dig this.

>>149994045
>>149993772

>Charlie somehow takes over hell
>becomes a totalitarian dictator
>massive remodeling of hell to make it more cute and saccharine
>morality police on every block
>rules like 'hugs must be reciprocated'
>and 'not sharing your feelings is withholding information,'
>TVs everywhere where she gives public announcements
>her smiling face randomly interrupting the highly censored tv programs
>"Just remember its never ok to be mean to other people. That makes them sad."
>"And when you make someone else sad."
>her face darkens for a split second
>"That makes me angry. And we don't want that do we?"

>>149994217
It's like if Fluffy and Uranus ran the juvie hall from Phineas and Ferb Get Busted.

Lute eating Adam's ass like a good dog.

>>149994410
>Charlie eats Adam's donkey, his prized ass.
>He is distraught.

>>149994217
>Terrified Vox is under her thumb.
>Velvette is trying to make the best of the situation by making a line of happy, safe, and modest outfits.
>Val makes Rate G Movies, for all ages. It drives him insane and hurts inside.
>Alastor is all onboard, and he often sings with Charlie and charms her on his radio, much to Vaggies hate.

>>149994423
Charlie vored his beloved mule

>>149989594
Adam was never supposed to be a hatesink misogyny strawman. Lute would have girlbossed out and secretly never liked him if that was the case.

>>149992817
Emily SWEEP

>>149994511
Let's see Fatfuck Fred draw that.
>Her mouth unhinges like a snake and she consumes his donkey. Adam is in the background reaching out to it as she just swallows it in whole.

>>149994523
>>149992817
i demand that drawfag make more emily

>>149994524
1. Excuse me for not knowing who "Fat Fuck Fred" is
2. Seconding this

>>149994602
Fatfuck Fred is a dude that comes in and draws sometimes. A really good artist but a lot of his stuff involves the characters getting fat.
Or Millie and Moxxie's kid, Mickey.

>>149994723
That was Adam in the moments we never saw them on screen.

>demonanon having a relationship with Stella
How would it go?

>>149994410
>Lute being really eager when rimming Adam, knowing she's his slut and he'll cum all over her face

>Adam: PC
>Lute: PC
>Sera: Atari
>Emily: Xbox
>Charlie: Wii
>Vaggie: GameCube
>Lucifer: Duckstation

>>149994217
>While it appears the overall atmosphere and environment of Hell has improved.
>There are rumors, rumors that have reached Heaven even DHORKs.
>While Charlie does indeed want to redeem sinners and some hellborn.
>She came to the realization that some individuals are beyond redemption.
>but Why wait for the exterminators to come down.
>Her closest friends are too scared to raise concerns over this.
>Husk was first and only one to do so, he was gone for a while.
>When he resurfaced, his tail was shorter and his fur seemed rough but his attitude seemed cheery he even proclaimed he was now a teetotaler.
>but the hint of fear in his eyes were a dead giveaway to those who knew him.

>>149994523
I love this cute goofball

>>149994919
>Vaggie is treated like a princess.
>Emily, when she visits, is exposed to nothing but fun and games.

Emily's feet on my face

>>149994824
>Emily: Xbox
Emily playing Modern Warfare circa 2009 sounds out of character for her
but Imagining her sayin slurs is too funny not to pass up

>>149994919
I wouldn't mind happy hell. If I was a lost case and cannot possible achieve redemption by myself, I would be happy to get any help I can.

>>149995021
I said Xbox - the OG Xbox.
>Fusion Frenzy
>Blinx the Timesweeper
>Halo(But she can't get through 343 guilty spark, the flood are too scary).

>>149989689
There are also Hellenic and Germanic myth of the Titans and Jotun and their war against the Olymipians and Aesir. In both cases the pantheon of Gods defeated them and established a new world order. This can be interpreted as being similar to the Pre-Flood Humans and Nephilim being succeeded by the Children of Noah with their post flood world. Pre-Flood Humans and Nephilim were pretty damn huge and were also major asslholes by the time the flood happened.

>>149995186
>Emily playing Halo
That sound better
>"Hey Husk this Arby guy sounds like you"

Am I degenerate if I just want a cute angel wife?

>>149995255
No, you sound fine Anon

I just want a happy bird wife

>>149995218
>Husk: "He sounds nothing like me!"
>Arby dies, making that characteristic Arbiter yell.
>Husk, fed up, makes the same noise and walks away.

I can fix her.

>>149995454
Why?

Do angels fart?

>>149993052
The sort that can boil water

>>149993487
Well the pagan religions of the Indo-Europeans and the Semitic (and other middle eastern) pagan religions are likely so similar because they're all under the same sphere of cultural and ethnic influence. Some of the earliest Indo-European civilizations during the Bronze Age that migrated and settled their kingdoms were the ones who did it in the middle east and straight up bordered Mesopotamia and the Levant such as the Hittites, Armenians, and Persians. You can argue that they influenced the religions of the Semitic people and/or vice versa over the centuries.

>>149995646
Makes me wonder, where do those non-middle eastern pagans go in the Helluvaverse? Has Charlie had to contend with native americans?

>>149989689
Besed fellow PIE autist. Its my schizo headcanon that the Jews stole and retconned the idea that they were the first people to worship God in order for it to fit their egotistical "God's Choosen People" narrative they use to justify everything. All of Christ's actions were primarly to undo that while forgiving humanity of their sins, its why the Jews hate him so much. He ruined the concept that worshipping God is a special privilege that only Jews can do, and everyone else cant cause they're "lesser" to them. If I ever met Vivziepop irl I would tell her this just cause it'd be funny, even tho im 99% sure she'll tell me to fuck off and call me a nazi. Maybe I can spin it to be a Pro-Palestine thing and 5d chess redpill her.

I wish to contribute to the religious discussion but my knowledge is very limited. Please enjoy this greentext instead.

>>149996303
Thanks Anon, was really funny to read.

>>149996750
Nice!

>>149994045
>>149994217
>Charlie's efforts to reform sinners turns hell into the torture dimension most people know it as
>turns into a singing and dancing dictator
CIGARS ARE EVIL YOU WON'T MISS EM

>>149997122
>Charlie's efforts to reform sinners turns hell into the torture dimension most people know it as
https://youtu.be/xM-wU2Uynkk
https://youtu.be/lL6NUBk_j6M
https://youtu.be/W_psBWr5k_s
>Charlie used to sing with a soft, cheery and gleeful tone worthy of a classic Disney movie
>but Ever since her take over her singing is different. It's angry, guttural and loud

>>149997122
>Be me
>Can't sing
>Every time someone breaks into song, everyone in a 30ft radius must sing along
>Or be ticketed
>My savings are almost gone

>>149996303
>Demonic Squidward's toenail scene.

>>149995646

Both Afroasiatic and PIE are Nostratic languages spread by nomads.

>You can argue that they influenced the religions of the Semitic people and/or vice versa over the centuries.

Very much. Though it's more Semitic influencing IE than the other way around. The best evidence we have of 'pre semitic influence' beliefs are vedic religion, the narts, and roman descriptions of Germans and Celts. These had greater focus on the underworld, metaphorical cannibalism, and ecstatic states than semitic religions. With the head male deity being an old pater familias sky father instead of a young aggressive storm god.

>>149996134

>Rene Girard rolling in his grave

Christianity is a major break from Judaism but it's even less similar to IE religions that weren't rejections of IE paganism (Buddhism, Zoroastrianism). The concern for the poor, weak, widow, and focus on forgiveness is almost absent in the Greek, Roman, Vedic and Norse world but had precedents in both the Old Testament, and Egyptian and Mesopotamian texts on the duties of the state.
The reason Christianity spread so fast was because they offered the social services the Jews did for each other to people outside the group. Services that weren't provided by the Roman state whatsoever even for citizens.

>>149961620 (OP)
She deserves more power

>>149997570
She needs to hit Charlie with the Makankosappō

>>149997610
nah, too fancy...let her just go broly on her ass.

>>149997618
Yep, Ashkenazi, Sephardic, and whatever other Jews that are around now have zero relation to ancient Hebrews. They're all just a buncha mixed race dopes that look more like the people of the nations they live in. They only preserved their "jewishness" due to their religion, tight knit connections to each other, and the draconian laws of their faith. There is a reason why we sometimes call Jews Khazars, cause most european jews find their origins the the Turkic Khaganate of Khazaria, which was one of the rare few jewish nations. After the Khazars fell to other turks that were pagan, the many jews living their spread across europe and the middle east. Of course there was already a jewish diaspora before that cause jews were found in many major cities in the ancient european world, but the Khazars provided an ever bigger influx during the medieval age. its been over 2000 years since the Romans sacked Jerusalem and caused the majority of jews to flee the Levant. The ones that stayed would eventually become christian and assimlate into Greaco-Roman culture until the Muslims came and murdered rape it all to replace them with Arabs. Point is the modern Jews are probably the greatest and most longstanding larpers of human history. What does this have to do with Hazbin Hotel? Well I think it'd make an interesting topic to talk about when on a date with an angel girl.

>>149997804
huh...point taken, though anyone would kill to have that conversation with an angel.

>>149994045
>>149994919
>>149996750
You know this is making me think that Charlie’s hell would actually have a lake of fire. Sinners would be submerged and the fire would scorch their thoughts, burning away all of their evil but also damaging their personality until they were pure enough to meet Charlie’s standards. Then they’d be sent to reeducation to fill in the gaps and reintroduced to the population shortly after

>>149962320
Lute is so fucking hot bros I NEEEEEEED HER

>>149997844
Ngl I feel like any Hazbin Hotel character would actually be intrested in listening to Proto-Indo European religion schziobabble it'd probably be Lute. Adam gives off Joe Rogan vibes, He buys a lot of surface level and medium tier consperiacy theories but the real schizophrenic stuff is to much for his mind to get. Lute seems more Woke to that kinda stuff

>>149997610
A mouth beam goes better

>>149997910
>Sinners are "Cleansed" in the Lake of Fire, supposively containing an essence of God's holy wrath that keeps the pool ignited.
>However, this holy essence has been tainted by Charlie and Lucifer when they constructed the lake, and its abilities are greatly exaggerated and distorted.
>Sinner who emerge from this literal baptism by fire are not who they once were. They're almost partially lobotomized.
>Their hard edges sanded off, making them boring.
>Safe.
>"Happy", as Charlie puts it.
>She and Lucifer don't see any problems with this.
>Lute and Adam are horrified.

>>149970621
/thread

>>149968807
That would never work because all normal souls are capable of sin.

>>149984459
MY FATHER, who art in Heaven.

>>149998680
>Adam is being protected by the authorities due to being groomed on Roblox.

>>149995050
This triggers my fight or flight response.

>>149998321
they are in hell anon...if they are already in the equivalent of a gas chamber, why not simply turn on the zyklon B?

>>149984459
>"Do you know who else brings holy wrath down upon sinners?"
>"MY DAD!"

>>149998239
>Lute and Adam are horrified.

>Charlie's closest friends are horrified especially after what happened to Husk when he got sent there.
>Emily is traumatized, she secretly left Hell without Charlie noticing. She still has nightmares about it. Abel is doing her best to console her.
>Angel Dust and Nifty are trying their best to keep Husk "normal" and try to hopefully bring his old self back (without Charlie finding out)
>Vagatha wants to leave but knows she cant, Charlie constantly has her eyes on her ever since Husk spoke up and Emily left.
>Sir Pent and Cherry haven't been seen but it's unsure if they got sent to the lake or went underground.
>Out of all the sins, Asmodeus and Mammon seem to be the taking the changes in stride but behind closed doors they're in a complete panic state.
>Bee still host parties, just no drugs or alcohol but She and her hellhounds are having serious withdrawals.
>Like Husk, Satan was the first one to oppose but was brought to heel by Lucifer and Charlie but left untouched...mostly.

What would Emily wear on Halloween?

>>149998822
either a nier or mmz cosplay

>>149998822
Emily would probably wear some cute Witch costume, it would just look nice on her

She'll probably wear something sexy for her boyfriend, Anon, when she gets home though

>>149970621
>>149965515
>>149971901
Wojakshitters deserve the rope.

>>149998933
>Emily being extremely sexually repressed from living in Heaven and finally being able to safely and comfortably explore her sexuality with you

>>149999031
>Emily not having a libido until anon accidentally cops a feel, triggering her horniness.

>>149998239
>>149998802
wow
Based

>>149999031
>"You think I was repressing my desires? No I was just bottling them up just for you"
>"You're going to explode like Mount St. Helens boy!"

>>149999075
>Anon is otherwise pretty casual about helping Emily explore her sexuality meanwhile Emily is INSANELY into it
>Anon has sex with Emily one night and a week later she's already trying out new outfits and asking Anon if he wants to try out this new "bondage" thing she saw on the internet

>>149999158
>>149999115
>Emily won't take no for an answer.
>He tries reaching out to Lute, but when she hears Emily's sing-song voice calling out to Anon, she turns around like "You're on you're own."

>>149999158
>"Emily honey I'm glad your happy about our relationship but what happened to sex only for pro-creation and after marriage"
>"My sweet I am your guardian Angel, that's a vow in it of itself as for the pro-creation. Ever since the Nephilim ours eggs have lost spark so to speak"
>"but Don't worry it just means we have plenty more times to try"
>You internally scream with pleasure and terror

I can't even fathom Panty and Stocking interacting with a hellaverse character. They'd just laugh at them for 30 minutes

>>149999365
Honestly Hellverse hell would be there kind of place to be
If scanty and kneesocks are anything to go off of then Hell in P&S world is prim and proper

>>149999365
>>149999397
scanty and kneesocks would ironically land a job in heaven, maybe even redeem and make heaven an actually well ran place through sheer merit and competence.

>>149999436
That's because know to follow the rrrrrrules

>>149998802
If Vaggie ever tries to leave chances are Charlie would become convinced that she did something wrong to upset Vaggie and have both of them undergo a brainwashing treatment to “fix” them
That’s what makes this Charlie scary. She would 100% alter her own mind for her cause and it would probably make her worse

>>149998239
>>149998802
>>149999552
>The Dictator Charlie AU is reborn again

>>149999723
>Prussian Pilot Charlie
I need that pic!
My history autism demands it!

Got it

>>149999474
thank you.

>>149999474
>Everyone in Heaven is rolling their “r”s after 2 weeks.

>>149999474
>Charrrrrlie deserrrrrrves a second chance!
Shes like Sir Pentious with rolling Ss.

>>150000611
Lol.

>>150000704
Alastor likes it.

>>149964403
Because the plot told them to not use guns.

>>149961620 (OP)
I still don't get why they just didn't make her Eve. She fills the same role basically and considering how bastardized Adam, Abel and St. Peter are already, might as well go and make a combat ready Eve while we're at it.

>>149961620 (OP)
Fuck Lute
She's a brute
Fuck Lute
Give her the boot

>>150000777
>those numbers...
because eve is being saved for something special and lute is already way above eve in everything.
besides that bitch is unworthy of heaven for betraying adam in the first place.

I should draw Prussian Charlie...

>>150000922
Then do it

>>150000922
Do it!

>>150000906
It will be funny if that “Eve=Roo” theory turns out to be right.

>>150001000
Theory?
You mean leak?

>That's the tea
>I ain't swiping right
>I'm that hashtag bitch
>all the other tiktok era shit

>>150001062
Eh
It's no different than 80's and 90's slang that was in cartoons where they were trying to make the character sound hip without it being ironic

>>150000922
No
Make her a hitler youth

Imagine blasting Lute's cute pussy with so much cum it crosses the cellular barrier and replaces her blood

>>150001366
You mean this?

>>150001000
I hope not, I was already disappointed vaggie was a fucking angel...eve should be her own entity and a very malignant one at that for pulling that shit with lucifer.

>>149961620 (OP)
FITS OF RAGE! SELFISH AMBITION, DISSENSIONS, FACTIONS, AND ENVY!

DRUNKENNESS, ORGIES, AND THE LIKE!

I WARN YOU AS I DID BEFORE, THAT THOSE WHO LIVE LIKE THIS;

WILL NOT INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD!

>>149964229
I agree with the one exception being that God should look like Arnold from The Magic School Bus instead

>>150001134
It is because this shit was never cool from the start.

>>149964229
All the Sinners are in Pride exclusively.

>>150001062
The existence of Zoomers is a good argument for anti-natalism

>>150001889
>>149964229

Wrong God the Father is Karl Pilkington

>Charlie stares up at the massive round object peering through a hole in existence.
>"But how! How can you blame humans for being so violent if you made them!"
>The Lord Almighty sighs with an expression more suitable to a hound dog than the creator of the universe.
>"Alright listen... I didn't mean that. when I was making the animals and that. I had to make sure the ones that ate meet had a killyness in their brains so they could eat. Humans had bigger brains so it just had more room to grow."
>Charlie pauses shocked by the answer and the fact he used 'Killyness' to describe the innate proclivity towards violence
>"What?"
>God becomes mildly irritated
>"Look. A weasel got a tiny brain, all the killing n' that can't spread far because the rest of it's for breathing. Humans have loads of space
>"So are you saying that evil spreads or..?"
>"No I'm saying I should've given the rest of your brains more to do. That way they wouldn't have time to faff about causing wars instead of making problem proof radiators!"

>>150001937
Nor was slang from that era either

>>150001980
Oh fuck off with the generation wars

>>150001996
Be less retarded and you won't get made fun of

>>150001411
megabased (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

>>149985950
I'm caught up on God Says, I'll give Wings of Ashes a shot. Thanks anon!

>>150002013
Stop generalizing everyone and you won't be seen as retarded

>>150002033
Zoomers really shouldn't be calling anyone else retarded

>>150002071
Faggots like you really shouldn't be posting on this board

>>150002094
Zoomers really shouldn't be calling anyone faggot considering they have 1 in 5 odds of being a faggot statistically

>>150002109
Faggots like you shouldn't be posting on this board considering you have a 1 in 3 odds of realizing you're wasting your time

>>150002149
Yeah zoomers like you are a waste of time

>>150002238
Yeah faggots like you are a waste of time

What if Loona was a dragon?

>>150002280
Is what I'd say if I were retarded

>>150002299
Then your paraphilia would be sated.

>>150002302
Is what you'd say if you were retarded

>>150002353
We don't talk to ourselves here

>>150002302
>>150002353
>>150002375
Am I having a stroke?

>>150002387
We don't talk selves to yours there.

>>150002395
Still need a version of this with Anon and Husk

>>150000906
I already know but I think it's stupid. From a logical and narrative standpoint, it would just make more sense to make Lute into Eve instead.

But of course, Viv doesn't operate on logic, so....

I still get a good laugh out of how we kinda called exactly how Adam would be portrayed back before the pilot even dropped.

>>150001000
You mean the Rosie is actually Lilith and Lilith is actually Eve theory? I didn't believe it at first either, but it seems pretty true now with the leaks we've seen so far. Not helped either with Charlie's voice actress kind of letting it slip that Charlie has met Lilith already so far... (unless she just means in general, but that seems pretty fucking obvious).

I think another big clue on this is the fact Rosie owns Alastor's soul, even though he's an Overlord. Overlords obviously can't own other Overlords souls (as then that Overlord just becomes yet another owned Sinner), so she is clearly a higher being then.

>>150001717
I honestly think a better twist would be making Lucifer turn out to be the real main villain all along.

>>149961742
Helluva boss is the bad parts and loona is definitely a bad person

>>149964403
>>150000764
99% of heaven never go back to earth and Adam is from literal cave man times

>>150003508
She's me wife

>>150002904
I don't want to fix her. She's perfect as she is.

>>150003979
She just needs a hug

>>150004602
If someone offered her a hug she'd reject it.
If Abel or Emily offered one she would hesitantly accept it half heatedly.
If Adam offered one, she'd happily reciprocate. If it's his mental apparition, she'd breakdown at being unable to feel him.

>>150003426
he kinda is by default, won't surprise me if he without meaning to gets to destroy heaven and his daughters dream.

>>149987351
>"NOTHING IS OVER!"
>"NOTHING!"
>"YOU DON'T JUST TURN IT OFF!"

>>149995050
I'll take Mayberry

>>150005051
I saw another hellborn with a human today.

>>150003351
if we all think carefully about it, the moment eve gave the forbidden fruit a taste...it was over for her and it won't surprise me that every sin committed by humanity is directly tied to her sentence due to her introducing it in the first place and the very source of it...and the whole stuff with cain and abel just made it worse for her as in a way it was her fault.
logically speaking, there is no fucking way that eve would be in heaven or else it would have given charlie proof that sinners can redeem and lute would be fucking different all together.
lute is better than eve in everything and probably the only one worthy to carry humanity.

>>150005093
A man of taste

>>149961620 (OP)
ok, but what if i goon with christian porn comics?

i would been accepted in heaven?

Why are all the angel characters, Emily, Lute and Sera, way more attractive than any of the Demon characters?

>>150005865
Emily is a goofball

>>150005865
They look very kindly, pure, and innocent... Er, well in Lute's case its more the ferocity and violent white girlness

>>150003396
>Overlords obviously can't own other Overlords souls (as then that Overlord just becomes yet another owned Sinner)
Are we sure about that? I mean, obviously Rosie is a different beast from other overlords, but the fact that she can communicate and make deals in the living world and can do something as limit-breaking as making a sinner arbitrarily powerful in comparison to the rest are stronger bits of evidence. We don't fully know how this overlord thing works or whether it's possible to own an overlord who owns other souls for anyone but Rosie. It's probably a situation that only comes up when an overlord is nearing rock bottom anyway and desperate to make a deal.

>>150005928
Emily would make a kind of sweet and nice gf, i like her

>>150005865
They look more like humans and less like creatures. Even Charlie has that weird dog-goat thing going on.

>>150005112
By this logic, Adam would be in Hell too....which is fine by me! Of course, that is with we go by logic, so like I said earlier, isn't applicable here, so...

>>149989689
It should be noted that like other cheif patriach gods that are old bearded men, the Caananite God Yahweh was Storm Warrior God, much like Zeus and Perun. That was what he was before he became the common name used to describe God with a capital G. In some bizzare alternate reality God wouldve taken on the name of Zeus or something.

>>150005865
>Emily
Only one I agree with.
>Sera
Her character is a major turnoff for me, she's pretty much a fascistic dictator.
>Lute
She's a shit character, so hard disagree.

>>150005958
I mean the idea of an Overlord owning other Overlords sounds stupid enough as is even just saying it. Idea is like a Goetia owning other Goetias, a mob boss owning other mob bosses or a king owning other kings. It really only works with Rosie, because she's clearly a different beast.

>>150006033
>calling Lute a shit character while simping for Emily
You might be disabled

>>150006126
Lute actually is shit though. She barely has anything go for her character besides....being a psycho bitch. Adam was more interesting than her and he's gone now. She's not interesting on her own.

>>150006137
Emily has nothing going for her at all, she is the one dimensional Nice Girl. Lute has a tender and passionate side reserved for Adam which ironically is being explored more now that he's dead. Did you watch the Season 2 leak?

>>149964403
They do have guns but they never use it because they think they are invincible

>>149972264
Existence in heaven is an eternity of praising and worshipping god to no end. Also, gonna point out that the overwhelming majority of people will never ever make it to heaven. Your odds of ever having met someone that would make it to heaven is practically zero.

>>149989689
anon is too stupid to realize the jews stole everything from every body else.

Gentle reminder that happiness is mandatory and you haven't performed your daily act of kindness yet.

>>150006055
It'd be more like a king vs a duke or some lower noble. There wouldn't be a special title for it, but it's not a farfetched concept.

>>150006454
I wasnt even refuting that Jesus was a jew in my point but okay

>>150002030
its dark romance but really well written, I credit it as a foundational adam fic that pioneered many tropes that others would use

>>150006732
The Adam POV is just terrible though, it's not Adam at all it's like some self published Amazon Tiktok 'spicy dark romance' protagonist with Adam's name, barely the same character at all

>>150001958
I know, but he doesn't care, I mean, look at Blitzo with his murder company and Stolas with the cult that killed a guy for him but he was disappointed for the cult not having pancakes

It's a punishment for all of them, Asmodeus, because he lets his succubus and incubus enter to hipnotize and rape humans, Beelzebub, because she's sparkledog Kesha that singing awful COTTON CANDY song in every party

Mammon and Leviathan also get the nuke for being into incest and Belphagor for owning Big Pharma

>>150007845
Surely there must be some nice sinners that did nothing worse than jaywalking or being an atheist?

>>150006017
and thats exactly what I am trying to figure out, something doesn't add up at all and maybe we didn't get the entire context...could it be adam was not like how it was described? that he was actually a normal guy that got twisted due to the shit he went through over the years.
something doesn't add up, and I doubt the show will tell us what adam did to reach heaven.

>>150006454
jew =/= biblical hebrew

>>149961620 (OP)
Question.
Why would Adam and the angels know how a soul ascends from Hell? It's hell, the eternal punishment. Why would that be expected of them? How to ride from earth, that's a no brainer. That's like asking a cook why he doesn't know how to cook with sewage.

>>150006017
I mean, Adam and Eve have to spend their sweet time in Hell until Jesus descended and picked them up, but Vivzie didn't consider that, of course

>>150009136
My church has that exact icon

>>150009191
Oh, that's pretty cool

If Lute was your guardian Angel, would praying the guardian Angel prayer empower her?

>>150010264
Guarding angels are generally empowered if you try to communicate with them, prayer or mediation is good, and if you actually listen to them and you "gut feeling". Also gratitude is appraciated by your angie. Lute would be quite simple guardian angel to have, hit gym, lift, eat healthy meals, avoid junk food and inactivity. No fapping, no gay thoughts, your dick is only for girls. But not for some loose girls, slutshaming is encouraged, let bad girls know they will end in hell if they cheat. Don't be angry, silent quiet contempt is enough. Warning bums and hobos is encouraged too, but only once Lute is confident in your cardio, don't make her job more difficult for her by getting into situations you cannot run from. Be humble, your aim isn't to be the best of best at everything, second place is acceptable sometime too. Third is for losers though, don't be a loser. Ask your guardian angel for help, if you don't know how to become a winner. She would take it personally if you didn't become one.

>>150010709
Wrong. Lute imposes these fitness standards on herself but when it comes to men she likes those slob daddies.

>>150004602
>>150004635

>>150011749
I'm very fond of the idea Adam's a big dude because Lute handles his meals.

>>150010709
I need to hit the gym for Lute, right now!

>>150012040
You need to hit McDonald's for Lute

>>150008485
Because it's "supposed" to paint Adam and Heaven in a bad light and make them look like incompetent hypocrites.

ADAM BROS WE NEED A NEW THREAD TO MIGRATE TO...... OR WE'LL FRICKIN' DIE

>>150006608
Wasn't Rosie supposedly a lower ranking Overlord than Alastor though? That kind of fucks things up a bit with it. (Unless she WANTS people to think that....)

Of course alternatively, considering Alastor is just a puppet for Rosie basically, you could argue then he's not a real Overlord but just a puppet Overlord acting on Rosie's behalf.

>>150009136
I don't think she knows who St. Peter is besides one Tom & Jerry cartoon, so yeah that checks out.

>>150012091
Can I hit the gym for Sera?

>After hitting the gym for months on end
>You're finally prepared for the ultimate test.
>You lift Emily like a barbell
>"Wee"
>You passed

>>150012027
Gluttony is a sin, Lute would never be into sloppy daddies, she is not some kind of feeder.

>>150013807
As of Season 2 you are incorrect, she's confirmed in love with Adam who's let himself go a lot since Eden. That is her type. Muscle chads are a dime a dozen in Heaven but they aren't doing it for her

>>150013124
>Doing push-ups with Emily sitting on your back cheering you on
>She rewards your new PR with hugs and kisses

>>150013931
Disgusting, how does she dare to corrupt the first man?

>>150009136
If Viv wanted to be cool, she could've made a huge crater from pride to Lucifers domain, where Hell quaked when Jesus descended.

>>150014100
>Jesus
>In Hell
The crater is from Viv slipping on a banana peel.

>Yandere Emily is tired of you being a slobbery, goonerific neet.
>She demands you shape up.
>Imposed horrific nightmares to motivate you.
>First, a shower.
>She cuts your hair and helps you shave that ragged face.
>Second, she takes a magnet to your hard drive. No more porn.
>Rots the soul.
>Lastly, she gets your old resume out, spruces it up, and sends it out on Indeed and LinkedIn.
>Even makes physical copies to slide into stacks of applications in the local area.
>But that's not it.
>All the junk food is tossed.
>To the gym!
>Oh wait. Can't afford it.
>To the park! Lift the rocks there. Follow her instructions, mimic her actions.
>To everyone else, you're just some guy who showed up doing heavy exercise, lifting rocks, and seemingly arguing with no one.
>Emily can only be seen by those she wants to see her. Felt by those she wants to feel her.
>That person is you - and anyone she seems a threat.

>>150013950
>Emily makes you go rucking while she sits in the backpack.
>All you can see is her goofball eyes.

>>149998802

>Tfw some sinners and demons that are specially mentailly ill/blindly faithful enough of this new regime become a mix of a cult to charlie and a specialized force, eager to destroy any recalcitrant or rebellious individual with the same prejudice of an inquisition condeming a heretic.
>All this while laughing, hugging and wearing smiles that would make Alastor jealous.
>Their weapon of choice is the trident.
>These are the guys that toss you into the lake of fire and poke you when you try to get out.

>>150014605
>We Happy Few 2: Helluva Time.

>>150014605
>Much like Satan, Paimon opposed these changes his opposition lasted shorter but his punishment was more brutal
>Charlie even gave him a nickname afterwards Rotisserie.
>Stolas was there to witness it, seeing his father dipped into the lake snapped a hidden core memory he had long forgotten about.
>It reminded him of the stories of Solomon his mother would often read to him as a boy. His family was in danger.
>Stolas couldn't have his daughter be here any longer.
>After a long talk with Blitzo they decided with heavy hearts to sneak both Loona and Octavia out of hell.
>Whether they were caught didn't matter to them, so long as their daughters were safe is what mattered most to them.
>They're just lucky someone helped them smuggle Loona and Octavia out of hell, Sir Pent and Cherry.

Your Guardian Angel seeks to better you by any means necessary, it seems.
Would they offer to possess your body if you're in a fight, so that they can show you what to do?

>>150015545
>Guardian Angel
>Would they offer to possess your body
This sounds like a demonic trick

>>149977269
The hell happened to you?

>>150015029
Honestly if Loona and Octavia make it to Earth, that would be an awesome combination with Vivzie’s original idea of Earth in the Hellaverse having superheroes.
>two Demons, one royal, one of the lowest rank, smuggled out of Hell by loving fathers to escape the Princess’s regime.
>Loona takes a role similar to Spawn/Hellboy while Octavia becomes similar to Raven
Now that’s an origin story

>>150015693
They probably prefer a 'phantasmal hand on yours' kind of thing. Guiding the strikes, not taking over.

Who's more possessive and obsessive, Protective Emily of Lucyfer?

>>150016589
or* God damnit

>>149966004
>God shows up
>Punishes literally everyone iinvolved to such an excessive extent that even the archangel's murder boners wilt
>Drops a cryptic message and refuses to elaborate
>Leaves
That's what I want to see

>>150016589
Lucyfer because she's afraid of getting dumped again.

>>150008485
Because it's a question that should come up if you choose to go down to hell and delete souls to free up space. If God doesn't have a system in place to permanently erase souls in hell, why would you assume that wasn't for a reason?

>>150017279
same, but I want him to do it old school or ww2 veteran american father.
just him showing up dressed with a white tank top and blue jeans alongside a nice pair of black tennis shoes and chill as a cucumber, then as soon as he sees the sheer degeneracy thats been going around while he was out...I want to calmly pull out his wife beater and discipline their asses.

Destroy the hellborn
Smite the sinner

>>150017449
Shit the pants

>>150017449
The sinners are already smiting the hellborn

>>150017482
I'm going to shit in your pants

>>150017509
It's too late, I already stained them

>>149961620 (OP)
She’ll probably fart

How should God look in Hazbin, cause I hate the prototype design.

>>150018269
He should look like Adam because Adam was made in his image.

>>150018338
>Adam looks like God.
>God resembles an older Adam, with a beard, wrinkles, and kind face, like a father.

>>150018269
robert goulet

>>149961620 (OP)
What if Lute was British instead?

>>150018269
Formless.

>>150018269
He should look exactly like John De Lancie just to mess with the Trekkies

>>150001411
You broke the global rule known as “no racism other than /B/ and /POL/“ retard

500 for Emily

>>150014704

Welcome to The [HAPPY] ̶h̶o̶t̶e̶l̶ H E L L
~Happiness is mandatory~

>>150018940
~Melancholy is a sin~

>>150019018
~All hugs must be reciprocated~

>>150019063
~Laughter is the greatest medicine~

>>150019119
~There is no more swearing~

>>150019236

This one is specially funny to me
>One of these smiling fuckers comes to a house at the edge of town
>All smiles, hugs and kindness, while the host are shitting themselves.
>Like that one nazi officer scene from Inglorious bastards.
>Then finally the act is dropped "We have gotten information that a pair of our missing 'friends', Pentious and Cherri, are around here. Do you good citizen know anything about where they might be so we might get them the help they desperately need?"
>The demon sweating doesn't know what to say, but there is no need, a weird noise coming from under the floor is all this smiling fucker needs.

>One very brief fight and the demon is pinned to the wall by a trident, as the wooden planks are being removed.

>The smiling guy removes the last one to reveal... an abandoned hideout.
>And an open tunnel to somewhere else.
>And at the entrance of the tunnel, a small red and pink ball with a sparkling wick on top.

>Still smiling like a madman but clenching his teeth and with his eyes filled with rage, can only say one single word.

>... F-UDGE!

>*BOOM*

>>150019535
Then they all leave, happy, hand in hand, singing >>149994045

>>150015758

Literally Hellboy and Abe kind of duo but with more magic, Love it.

>>150015029

>Heaven sees the reports of Charlie's actions but management takes a very neutral position.
>Eventually God will cut you down and what not.
>Her actions will have consequences.
>Well yes but not like they wanted to believe.

>Tfw one day some very weird tremors started to be felt.
>No one gave it any thought, until some weird silhouettes were witnessed on the mountains at the outskirts, they looked weirdly human, but very... big.
>Apparently Charlie's cousins decided to pay her a visit.

>You guys ever heard the theory of how the nephilim looked like clowns?
>Well apparently it was more correct than what anyone gave it credit for.
>Just like charlie, ghostly pale skin, rosy cheeks and hair of different colors
>Love all the candies, sweets, laughter hugs and all the sappy shit she also likes, while also being completely rutheless and bloodthirsty
>Apparently the only thing that kept them at bay was the constant degeneracy in such an "untasteful" way
>(they love to feed from soul suffering and fear, but not when mixed with pleasure or enjoyement, they don't like their food touching)
>So now with all these changes, it was like rolling out the red carpet for them
>So yeah, they are now here to help their little cousin with the "family business"
>Again Lucifer and Charlie see no problem with this.
>Everyone else both in heaven and hell,(especially those who lived in the times where these mfs still roamed the earth.) are shitting their pants
>Charlie's regime now has it's her own "fists" to assist in enforcing the law, mantaining the peace and assist her followers in hunting rebels
>And they are glad to follow her rules, learn her silly songs and of course, have a small taste from blood or suffering every now and then, surely no one would miss a few hellspawn or siners being eaten or drained from their blood for "resisting arrest"
>Hazbinstein
>New Colossus

>>150020319
I would choose oblivion over this existence.