Thread 40920566

QOTT: what are your hobbies?
last thread: >>40883421

>>40915039
>Transitioning is the most humiliating thing ever
>who would want to be this?
ex-repper troon here, it's true, all of it.
but if you're lucky and troon semi-succesfully it is much better than repping
>>40914407
you should share your experience of being AMAB with dysphoria and doing T with people outside of /repgen/ so that other trannies in denial see it and realize that there's no way out
>my sense of self could still change if the physical changes make me chad
you do realize that there's a lot of reppers who are successful as men yet the tranny thoughts never leave, right?
>>40919575
please be honest about your situation with your wife, she deserves a partner who isn't cursed by trannybrain
I see so many married reppers on reddit talk about their relationships falling aprt, it's horrible

transitioning is giga humiliating but when i think about repressing and how looking in the mirror would send the worst stabbing dread through me im glad it isnt that bad anymore. fuck all normies

>>40920566 (OP)
take your HRT, retards

>>40920566 (OP)
qott: not really doing anything interesting as of late, mostly gaming and reading. really into sports because I'm malebrained
>>40920616
idk if I'm just stupid but looking in the mirror doesn't make me feel that bad all things considered. I do avoid it when possible but it's not that dramatic. like it's not going to get better but my shit feels mild enough I can probably just continue to tank it
>>40920629
no <3

>>40920629
pinkpillers should crowdfund my ffs if they want me to take my pills so bad

Billion and be a public person
Than maybe troon out

>>40920629
Too expensive for me

>>40920566 (OP)
>what are your hobbies?
I like music playing guitar etc. I use it as an escape from myself it doesnt always work but it usually does. Think i can rep to the grave if i just keep listening to music and playing it. Atm really trying to knuckle down on the music theory so I really understand what Im doing...

>>40920566 (OP)
WoW

realistically my options are social suicide or suicide suicide

>>40920966
from my experience, social suicide is easier to do than a suicide suicide
>t. repper who couldn't off himself and eventually decided to troom

>>40920998
difficult to get the other perspective though, so who can say for sure

>>40920998
both are still scary

>>40920566 (OP)
>QOTT: what are your hobbies?
drinking and dreaming

I just want a body that isn't disgusting to be in

>old ugly virgin with crimson chin and humanized shrek face
>ocassionally fantasize about finding a cabin in the middle of nowhere where I can dress up and have a (patient and understanding) dom fuck my brains out for a week straight
I'M BECOMING A SUSAN'S PALACE BOOMERHON FUUUUUUUU

I dont know why people only do dating through apps. It's so easy to just talk to someone in public and strike up a conversation or just open a conversation with someone you meet out in the wild. I mean not everyone you meet is single or whatever but it's so easy you may as well do it

>>40920566 (OP)
>what are your hobbies?
doomscrolling and sometimes videogames

fucken shit... woke up all bubbly and happy expressive n shiet but at work saw reflection at mirror with hair tied and got down... drunk on disinfectant again as out of rc stimms. prolly will drink lavender oil again. fuuuu... what to do? again grow boobers from lavender oil? hard. to resist... didnt drank for like a year... fuck... maternal grandapa ded. paternals distant... cant get it out of brains... reeee.... sis will/would get it... not strong enough to handle...maube it will work, grandma is demented, and... mom maybe willnunderstand but need to fllee ...

playing with my hrt+being fat gyno

>>40921614
>It's so easy
amazing

babydollanon I miss you so much

>>40920566 (OP)
programming when I need something? mostly 8 just consoom media/lit. I'd entertain baking if I had that space but as it is I just make simple sourdough loafs

I tried to smash my estrogen vial yesterday and I couldn't do it. How can I destroy my HRT and go back to repressing?

Being a tranny is too humiliating for me 2bh

>>40920606
Nah she knows I have the trannybrain, and I've even said I might have to do something about it. Based on her dating history of I left her shed find another one.

reppers dating cis women feels like the ultimate self harm

>>40922693
good thing im g*y.

im thinking of suicide basically all of my waking hours

bought makeup to hide my beard shadow, and clip on bangs to hide my brow bone, looks pretty good, tested this all out with AI before I committed. Gonna practice with makeup, and buy clothes to take pictures of myself before I'm too old to pull it off anymore... hopefully I can get someone to jerk off to me.

repper bf who doesn't care about my trans phase breasts....

>>40922811
how big are they?

>>40922815
b cups I think
I do bind though

>>40920566 (OP)
>what are your hobbies?
drawing, gaming, making tiktoks, watching anime, building gunpla models
(i didn't draw this)

>>40922907
>making tiktoks

>>40922907
autism?

>>40923184
well yes
>>40923137
one of em got 2mill views

>>40923270
>2mill views
lewd

>>40922488
Throw in trash
>>40922693
I dont really agree.

>>40923328
ugh i wasn't whoring myself out it was a video that was basically showing how gross an internet personality is.

anyone else get really stressed out driving? i'd probably break down sobbing in the middle of the road if i were on estrogen

life is about disappointment guys. everyone has to come to terms with it not just us. we build up our lives in our heads in our 20s and then get crushed in our 30s. better to wake up sooner rather than later before we become one of those chainsmoking alcoholic dudes who live in their car

>>40923470
Yeah I despise driving.

tranny fatigue

i wonder how many reppers are living happily with kids and a wife despite their dysphoria

>>40923396
nah I bet you were dancing

>>40920566 (OP)
i find crochet hard, i can do a row or even a magic ring but when it gets to the next row and having to count and change the technique i cant do it and end up unravelling it
but doing endless chains is satisfying

my personality and hobbies are feminine for a man but super masculine for a woman. another one of the many reasons it would be retarded to transition.

being a tranny is just a fun thing to do in your 20s but when you are older you just have to buckle down and give up on silly dreams and get to work or you'll be homeless

>>40920566 (OP)
qott: none :(

>>40923959
this
t.trans from 24-28, detrans after

>>40923959
really? being troon never would be fun. you need to worknig your 30s too and there is this terribly awkward shit with your family knowing and reacting to whole thing. shitshow unless your born in commiepornia to libtard parents with libtard grandparents. i cannot imagine trooning where i live and even i i manahe somehow in future i would still boymode when meeting mom... whole thing is terrible but likely is only xhance on acheiving somethimg akin to happiness in this life. you gotta be autistic to not be bugged by shame.

>>40923700
>reppers
>happy
literally zero

>>40923959
A youngshit troon with perfect genetics, upbringing, social support can achieve 60% of the well-being of the average cis person.

Being a tranny fucking blows for any age, race, etc

>>40924288
im fairly happy, at least happier than i was for the last few years.

>>40924292
counterpoint: goonings good

>>40923700
you aren't a repper at that point

>>40924292
more like 100%

Men's shirts that make my shoulders look bigger make me miserable. Fuck this shit senpai.

Reppers are just old crusty crossdressers ir transvestites too scared of hrt cause they are men

>>40924333
TRVKE

>>40924236
I come from the most liberal family, in the most liberal city ever, and still rep because I've never shown or embraced even a little bit of femininity. I don't think they'd even believe me.

have you ever considered becoming a drag queen? i think about it sometimes.

>>40924356
flamers are annoying...

>>40922907
I wish I looked like this but I’m 2000% male

>>40924319
Copius Maximum.

>>40924442
you know i'm right and you're coping

>>40924463
Even a perfect cis passing troon is still a mentally ill troon. They will never have the life of a normal person.

I would rather be a homeless guy with a missing leg than a troon.

>>40924473
most troons live decent lives and even more so if they pass.

>>40924480
>most troons live decent lives

>>40924497
there would be a lot more acking if this wasn't the case

as a repper seeing the pendulum swing towards bigotry reminds me I dodged a bullet

>>40924509
Is this when I'm supposed to look at the camera with a face of incredulity?

>>40924533
idk i'm not a good representative for trannyism, i just know youngshits actually have it good and any denial of this is wrong

>>40924331
fix to it is 80s big hair
>>40924356
lol no. od i could do this i could go full on troon.
>>40924349
yoir family doesnt sound like true libs, like they probably unwillingly enforced male socialization in subtle yet powerful ways. not even in direct ways, exposing you to male targeted media or speaking about other males with approval or disapproval depending on their actionsin context of gender conformity....

>>40924356
there would be no point, clothes and makeup are the least important part to me. I wouldn't even wanna dress super flamboyantly if I was a woman or passing tranny, it's tacky

Some of you could be women today but choose to be men
It’s your choice

what guns does repgen carry in self-defense

>>40925228
could be corpse of a "woman" (decaying to male skeleton) maybe (sui because bully), buried in suit under male name or homeless or detrooner...

>>40925747
so basically the more white you are the more pro-trans you are?

>>40925697
Gotta get the license soon

>>40925697
there is exactly one person I'd ever shoot so not going to buy a gun for my own safety
>>40925228
positive affirmations

babydollanon I love you

coco loco poppin thioco
its skyrim girl larping on codeine time again
what the fuck i am doing with my life?

>>40925747
isn't UK transphobic af now?

>>40924581
>fix to it is 80s big hair
I naturally have really poofy wavy hair but I can't grow it long enough to do what you're suggesting while repping.

>>40926270
why not? dress code?

I'm not going to transition because my main kink is hung trannies masturbating but I'm cursed with an average sized penis

>>40926290
Every time I grow my hair out people accuse me of trying to look like a woman.

>>40926361
Just say youre a metalhead

tfw long hair, past my nipples, but never get misgendered

>>40925697
Can't legally own guns anymore.

>>40926444
How am I supposed to retort with that in reply to urban fauna yelling at me out of their car windows while zipping by past the speed limit?
>Yo you tryin to look like a bitch!?
>N-no I I like Metallica...
>They're already a mile down the road.

>>40926489
>Yo you tryin to look like a bitch!?
>Yes.
>They're already a mile down the road.

I wish I had friends to go to metal gigs with to get a metalhead bf

>>40926516
Sure but I'm both very shy and scared of what someone who is NOT in a car but has that impression (that I'm a woman or a tranny) might do.

>>40926567
dude nobody will care, I've been painting my nails the past few months and the only comments I've got are a handful of compliments. and this is just your hair which is even more excusable
or just wear it up whenever you're out of the house. I promise nobody will give a shit

>>40926604
I live in a really conservative area though.

Why does God hate us? Can anyone clue me in to the source of the divine hatred?

>>40926761
god isn't real

>>40926761
Some religions believed that being a tranny was a sign of being blessed or touched by the gods. Perhaps it's less that Yahweh hates you and more that Inanna loves you.

>>40926761
Which god?

>>40926361
stop giving a fuck... i even wear skinny jeans and move kinda like tweaked faggot. whatever.

ngl I was a flaming faggot boymoder for years and no one really said anything
>tfw several cute guys hit on me then but I didn't process it
rip

>>40925747
this map is either insanely outdated or just using shit data

>>40926761
>>40926932

against my better judgment I created a folder on my computer called "pictures that give me gender dysphoria." I feel like this is a bad idea but I like looking at these pictures for some reason. does anyone else do this?

>>40927205
i am kinda beliving in schizo gnostic misandrist thingy... might be brainrot or magical thinking low tier schizo thing....

this longing has some spiritual, supernatural divine quality to me... pire and sacred on a way... heavenly call...

>>40927237
opposite, I look at the angle fraud perfect lighting ones and cry

>>40927286
IRL photos don't give me dysphoria, it's all drawings. I think part of why I'll never transition is because human beings just will never be as beautiful as the art I look at and that includes myself.
I'm also too lazy to shave my arm and leg hair.

>>40920566 (OP)
Drinking

>>40926934
The minute I stop giving a fuck is the minute I troon out, the line between me just giving in is that thin.

>>40926761
He doesn't and anyone that told you he does is possessed by satan

>>40920566 (OP)
Singing. Part of why i rep

>>40926761
if god is real, it would love everyone that wasn't a bigot or a murderer

>>40927318
touch grass instead of gooning

>>40927318
so you'd only transition to be a 2d anime girl os what i'm hearing

im not even trans literally just a man with some kind of fetish. i hate you all please dont leave me

>>40927728
Nah its cool man I get it

>>40926775
He does have favorites THOUGH. I mean look at the world.

>>40927728
Same. But also I hate the idea of even having a male name in online contexts and I don't think I can really relate to most men or women either. I feel like I'm just disembodied nothing, an alien.

i don't want to be a woman, i want to be an ethereal spirit that looks like a woman, but has none of the downsides of being physically female. i want to be a ghost in general honestly, i hate having a fleshy body.
what causes this?

i cant even watch porn anymore, i get almost the same horrible feeling watching it that i do when i see gore. sex and death its all the same thing

>>40928276
Severe and prolonged disassociation born of having GD but not doing anything about it for too long.

>>40928322
This is what happens when you let them feed you puberty blockers throughout your teenage years instead of HRT. Product of stupid doctors who think compromising with GD by putting the decision off until later is possible, because the idea of the sufferer having free will is too scary.

>>40928346
>GD
What is that?

>>40928363
Gender dysphoria, the entire reason you're here.

>>40928370
>the entire reason you're here.
Yeah

>>40928276
because we cant accept that in one way we have personalities and deep emotions and can percieve things like beauty and we want those things for ourselves and on the other hand we are smelly animals that are going to eat and shit and age and die. you want all the beautiful things to last forever and all the bad to go away, including the fact that you have to be an imperfect mortal person.

>>40928295
Same exact feelings as you.

>>40928322
imagine being trotted out like a eunuch by your mother, look at how much she is enjoying herself. she castrated her son. what would freud say about this?

>>40928405
>what would freud say about this?
You tell me smart ass

>>40928405
Imagine being a child of basic trad parents. They force you to marry, join the army, make children with bad genetics and no money. Just because the local church and government told them to. And imagine the consequences. Sounds like ultimate cuckery. So I just envy picreal because he have family that allow him to experiment with her own body how she wants.

>>40928404
Its like when people have sex its the same thing as when someone dies. People losing their personalities, seeing eachother as objects and being dumb animals, except for fun. And I'm not above it, I've wanted it too. But sometimes when I hear my friends talk about sex I see that shallow, animal side of them and I feel sick because theres no escaping that we're all sexual beings and objectify eachother constantly

Fucked by life because you exist in a body that will one day die and rot. lol

I hate my invulnerable parents, it's unreal. I don't even have the opportunity to shoot in blacked porn to humiliate them.

>>40928654
Yea, you're not wrong. I think it's even worse when you have people here who also believe these roles should be so strict that they decide every facet of a person's life. Stuff that ends up being not just play or a game or a joke, but reflects a genuine kind of hatred that people are supposed to just handwave away. And it's from both ends too, really.

>>40928834
Yeah ive known girls who talk about how they want a boyfriend who acts like a psychopath and is 6' tall and dominant etc etc and they want to be a bimbo and I just want to ask them why they are doing this to themselves but I unfortunately get it. I'm just so sick of fantasy and its everywhere you look in beauty ads and in porn and the secret desires of all your friends and its just a dead end. at least it seems to be for me.

>>40928813
You should sign up for femout bro, they'll take anyone

>>40928959
I'm not even trans lol

it's not fair

And I can't really relate to men either

next month i turn 27 and it's stressing me out

>>40920629
What's in it for you?

>>40928346
Nobody should be feeding HRT to anybody.

>>40929672
Sorry lady but all anti-trans ideology has been flensed out of me by the cruel march of crushing gender dysphoria. No longer will I rant about how it's all bad and nobody should do it, and I have accepted that I should've done it.

>>40929710
The LGBT community is fucked and tainted, I want nothing to do with it.

>>40929728
Okay, don't have anything to do with it. Being a tranny doesn't mandate that you do.

how is my skull this huge i look so disgusting

Smoked weed and now these thoughts of me as a woman are coming back to the surface

>>40929210
So become trans then? Whats the big deal. Its all a show about nothing

i feel like im going insane... its like a.migraine onky mental no physical pain... i can feel.how i am trappes in this body no escape.... i have to deal with 50 more years of this can i do it i can feel my jaw im not even touching it i can just feel.how large it is how large my browridge is... oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god

>>40930180
just stop thinking about it!

problem solved

there is this girl i know who has been fucking with my head for years, i think any girl could have done it but it happens to be her. i hate it because the way she makes me feel makes me feel like a man. i guess its the feeling of wanting someone you cant have, and also envying her for being able to do that to you, for being effortlessly seductive and completely unattainable, i hate myself for feeling this way

Even the gay men see each other is so fucked up.

I've been dreaming almost every single day about magically turning into a girl for almost a decade now

>>40930237
listened to music for two hours and i feel a bit better... the fact dysphoria comes and goes helps, it means i always know relief if only a little is coming soon...

if all straight cis women knew about reddit hons claiming agp is not a thing since all women are also horny about being women there would be a ton more transphobia

some of you people are way too demanding. I just want to be an average woman my own age with a kind of ugly bf that's maybe a little dumb and insensitive sometimes, but makes me laugh and gives great cuddles and does his best to be a good man

>>40930556
never really goes away once it clicks. for me repping too hard while getting sober (cringe i know i had hindu phase) caused it, backfired as i binged hard at gender bender fiction... read and daydreamed all day and halfnight... at peak brainrot i checked in mirror every morning if havent i started turning into girl lol... i did some wacky meditations and even prayers to Loki to cause it...

>>40930797
very fembrained lol

>>40930805
at first it was like blessing an relief easing depression and filling void but it was so intense allday that i started questioning as i realized that even tough its "forced" i really want it, and would be rather a girl... forced being excuse... scary scary implications... dismissed it at first... been hell since...

>>40930556
Watching Sailor Moon and Cardcaptor Sakura as a kid gave me ideas like that. And yeah that shit has never gone away and is still my most persistent fantasy, even though there's usually something else built onto it.

>>40931140
first real trigger was the dragon doctors. few weeks of daydreams too but no freakout for some reason.

I would probably transition and be a transbian if they didn't all seem like the worst parts of gay male culture

>>40931753
you can just ignore them and find people like yourself

>>40931770
I would be the only one

>>40931963
there's a ton of self hating transbians out there

>>40932002
and they're all in one big polycule

The hatred of the self is the beginning of Wisdom.

If I had a girlfriend who liked feminizing me and making me pretty and dressing me up I would be complete

beign a girl and getting big and chucnky........

>>40932306
what's he thinking

>>40932570
his synapses firing off and his brain is forming the agp mind virus

>>40932306
girly nose... us male nose reppers know our place

>>40932565
giwtwm

>>40932610
its when soul turned female... forever and ever. nothing will be same again... ecstasy and torment awaits

>>40932917
so true fellow schnozer

i might have mid nose but look dinarid af. armenoid almost. not that bad for passing but might end up looking she-jew if i troon in future. just... no words for this i have

Going to watch solo leveling

wasted my whole 20s feeling like a subhuman and self harming lmaoooo

>>40930797
I mean Loki was the one who did it in Boku Girl so maybe you were onto something

>>40933263
GIWTWM

fuck-off cunt
consistency
consistently convinced you're a xenomorph :D

>>40929961
you were unlucky
so was I

>>40933099
slop alert

>>40932306
As someone with this it’s both a blessing and a curse

>>40933606
Literally how

>>40933315
Why you want to stop me? Lol

>>40934305
I'm just concerned for you, please watch a good anime

>>40934350
that quote makes me want to get into drawing desu

>>40934350
What is the quote

>>40934358
>good anime
Maybe we have just different tastes. Give me example of good anime.

>>40934479
>>40934383
This is actually a big part of my motivation to do art (mostly of women, men turning into women, cross dressing etc)

i could pass so long as nobody looks at my head from the side or at any of me from the neck down

is there a repper discord? please none with groomers preferably.

>>40934780
This but with groomers who push us to do it

>>40920566 (OP)
>qott
i have none
except drinking to feel like a fucked up "human" for a few hours at a time... god i wish there were some meds i could convince someone to give me to give the same feel 24/7

>>40924380
i think you mean based

My knees bend inwards

show us you genetic freak

>>40935654
do they shake when you're getting fucked tho

>>40920566 (OP)
>QOTT: what are your hobbies?
i'm a big fan of photography and have a decent-ish sized record collection, but everything i do still feels fake somehow, like someone else is doing all those things for me

>>40935612
grooming could never work on me if it's over the internet

i wanna be 14 again and have cis girls put makeup on me and say im a pretty girl

>>40936325
I wish that had happened to me, I would at least have some nice memories to look back on

>>40936226
it would only work on me if they told me how to flee my cuntry and get a job and housing and guaranrlted stay... no way im troonin in here... too much pussy, not enough autism... even then wouod boymode when meeting mom

>>40920566 (OP)
repping makes me a husk with no personality or unique traits, my life consists of 0 hobbies or personal relationships i serve no value or meaning

>>40936692
I don't think that's unusual. I realized we're all just meant to be objects. Both men and women alike expect you to be a soulless husk. And no one is really that deep after all.

>>40934479
Literally me.

>>40936843
im barely anything i actually have no personality nothing i cant be a human

Does anyone else have obsessive-compulsive behavior? I swear my thoughts about transitioning are related to this in some way.
A few years ago I had calluses in my thumbs from pressing it against my fridge door just to make sure it was closed, and I couldn't sleep unless I triple checked every door that faced the outside to make sure they were locked. I can't use gas-powered stoves because I my mind screams that I'm going to fuck something up and explode my entire house when I turn it on. I can't follow routines that have times on them (for example, writing "wake up at 5am") because if I miss it for even a minute my entire day is ruined and I can't stop ruminating about it.
Is this proof I'm just a mentally ill man that got the tranny virus stuck in his brain?

I think I could have made the world a better place if I had gotten to be a real person
for some reason I feel guilty about how things are now

>>40936854
post art

>>40937012
Yeah but not like what you got going on

>>40937012
ocd feels different. shallow emotionless compulsions. tocd might be this but nearly always there were good reasons to consider it. lure ocd based tocd is rare af. based on feelings, not shallow ones... not obsessive until it became obsessive questioning and freaking the fuck out.

this thread feels a lot lonelier than it used to

>>40937469
it's been brought up a few times how everyone just talks past each other and doesn't really say much comprehensible
>>40937012
i've been getting a bit neurotic as of late but not nearly to that degree. hard to ever say problems are ever totally separate from the mind virus but that seems more separate than like depression and an eating disorder

>>40937522
it's always kinda been like that though

my depressive humour doesn't engender conversation because it's male patterned

>>40937522
>it's been brought up a few times how everyone just talks past each other and doesn't really say much comprehensible
yeah there isn't any actual discussions. its just self pitying attention seeking comments and maybe someone going "yeah true" or "same". As a repper myself i wish you fags weren't so fucking boring.

>>40937562
I just imagine my trans self is doing hobbies, having fun, developing interesting opinions, etc while drinking myself to death sorry

>>40937601
what is stopping you from getting a hobby or developing interesting opinions? i understand why having fun might be hard right now i guess.

>>40937601
yeah true or same

>>40937619
nta but i just dont understand how to, i think im missing something important in making myself human by repressing all the time

>>40937651
so your mind is constantly occupied with fantasies about being a girl and dysphoria? there is no time where your mind wanders to other topics or things you find interesting or enjoyable?

>>40937619
nta but what's the point of having a hobby if you can't feel the fun in it? the entire purpose is gone. that's why we're boring i think
sorry for being dull :(

>>40937684
there is seriously nothing you can do that fills you with even just a little bit satisfaction, joy or lifts your mood?

>>40937543
yea I guess I wasn't sure what your point of comparison was for "used to"
>>40937547
everyone loves to bitch about being malebrained yet none of you will ever talk about sports. curious
>>40937562
ppl here are so self pitying to the point where the qott just got a bunch of "none i'm so boring :(" responses. how are you guys even filling your time? like I could at least talk about the books I'm reading or how fucking awful I am at CS or whatever
>>40937651
>>40937684
surely you guys have emotions outside of being sad b/c not a woman; do the things that make you feel the other emotions more. idk how to explain it to you
if nothing else works go to a baseball game

>>40937676
not even, just dysphoria and and how its over
>>40937740
i barely do, i dont feel anything anymore im not happy i dont talk to anyone personally i could go to a baseball games and i try from time to time new activites but i just feel nothing aside from dysphoria and hopelessness

>>40937740
I am very malebrained though

>>40927205
this guy is legitimately such an ass

>>40937771
if you actually cannot feel any emotions outside of being dysphoric you should take your pills, idk what to tell you then
>>40937772
how's the football team looking for the upcoming season boss. the one I root for dropped the opener but looked pretty good, think they can make a bowl

>>40937732
i mean there is, but 90% of it is just consooming content (anime, vidya, among others) and i can't really call that a "hobby". And even that's rare nowadays, i had to hype myself up for a week to get myself to watch the matrix trilogy recently lol. most of the time i just scroll on social media when i have free time. i wish i could do more stuff, but everything is just so tiring.

>>40937800
im taking my pills i guess im a hrtrepper, and no not a manmoder i refuse to go by sheher anywhere or to anyone online i know i wont pass and i do nothing besides taking my pills

>ran out of translated chapters for the gender bender manga I'm binging again
it's over
now I have to just drink more and lay on my bed for the rest of the afternoon, boring

>>40937853
>taking hrt
>miserable b/c gender
>refuses to attempt to gender self correctly
>no attempt to do anything with current gender
yep this is an impossible problem to solve. unlucky for you i guess
>>40937854
rip
what were you reading? what're you drinking?

>>40937919
its an impossible problem because even if i made an attempt its hopeless, im not saying this for no reason all my measurements are 90%+ male 98%+ female
also i refuse to gender myself "correctly" because i feel like im not fully trans, i have dysphoria yet i dont feel like a woman or as if im stuck in this body i simply wish for another body and soul

>>40937800
Just my hobbies and attraction to others is something only a male could be. Sure I don't really relate to other men, but a real woman is still incapable of thinking and acting the way I do.

>>40937919
>Saikyou no Kurokishi, Sentou Maid ni Tenshoku shimashita
I thought it looked like generic garbage when I first started reading but it actually gets pretty good as it goes on. The fact that the MC used to be a man in her previous life doesn't get completely ignored like it usually does. Seeing her find a new place in the world as a girl while also getting to reflect on the past and reunite with old friends does things to my heart lol. Lots of cute guys rather than the standard yurislop too.
>what're you drinking?
I have like 3 half-empty bottles of shitty white wine I used for cooking and I don't wanna leave my house again so I guess that

>accidentally look down at my body
>get grossed out
>listen to my voice
>get grossed out
>notice how large my body feels when laying down
>get grossed out
>feel the size of my massive man skull
>get grossed out
>type this post with my giant man hands
>get grossed out

fave self-defense guns?

i'm unable to commit suicide because i've already killed myself by not transitioning when i had the chance

>>40938779
focus on self improvement?

Want to transition
Broke bottom
Understand it's impossible in my situation
Life never started

>>40920566 (OP)
qott: the last substantial hobby i had was when i was on a rowing team in high school. since then basically all i do in my free time is waste away playing video games, watching youtube, and browsing the internet. i've hd plenty of hobbies i wish i had the money, confidence, or dedication to get into, but it's all fallen flat

every day is worse than the last. i'm too much of a failure to make anything of myself now. for months, if not several years, i've felt like i've just been going through the motions before i finally gather the will to rope.

>>40939387
I already missed my chance to transition

You're crazy if you don't think gender dysphoria is at least a LITTLE bit like pic related

>>40940499
free him

>>40940477
I do apologize I shoulda cooled down a bit and proofread my post I was a little emotional dealing with a stressful day at work and feeling like isolated and stuff, it's too late to delete my post I regret some parts of it

I think I do need to make just some more diverse friends in general now that I'm living a new life. Feel free to add me

>>40940499
>Hopper was identified following investigations into Marius Gustavson who ran the EunuchMaker website.
>Mr Lee told the court that Hopper had bought three videos from the website for £10 and £35, respectively, showing men willingly having their genitals removed.
goddamn imagine a guy cutting your dick off and then pricing the video at £10. horrifying

>>40940499
It doesn't remotely make me horny, just sad and empty. I'm not even like those people who crossdress then jerk off.

Honestly I think just fucking hate both men and women

>>40941261
based
>>40940499
dude i'm still so stuck on this shit
>“In that fridge there were testicles and chopped-off penises pickled in a jar and kept cold, and people would turn up to buy them,”
>[Gustavson] walked off with what looked [like something] a bit dodgy, we asked and he said: ‘Oh yes, this is someone’s penis, [it belongs to] this nice little twentysomething from Belgium.’
>“But he didn’t come back in with lots of cash. He used the money to buy pizza. It wasn’t a lot.”
like for however bad my brain is at least i'm not going to cut off my dick in a london flat so the guy could sell videos on the cheap and sell it for weed money

>>40941261
i hate myself

>>40940499
repfuel

I want to transition but every day the world gets worse for trans people

in my drunkard days this was my fave. cheap (like 50 cents for half liter 6%abv), low carbonation, bit tequiola aroma and lemonish taste. now i am snorting funny powders and doing morphine or codeine at evenings while playing skyrim.
some songs for sad rep drinking
Bad Boys Blue - You're A Woman
A World Without You
Omega - The Girl With The Pearl's Hair (org. "Gyöngyhajú lány")
Nina - Rhythm Of Love
The Reason Is You
X-Perience - A Neverending Dream
Demis Roussos - My Friend The Wind
Enya - Sail Away

>start seeing girl
>mention I'm a repper
>she encourages me to transition
>I start considering it
>she brings up that I'm a man every chance she gets after that
>I cut her off and just rep instead

Everytime...

>>40941436
i'd take taaka and cut it with water and some of those water flavoring things. probably not a sustainable choice, looking back
you ever do any psychs? i had a bit of 4-ho-met back in the day, never really had one of those mindbending trips people talk about. was nice tho
https://youtu.be/W3QeyNtuz8M?t=24

im not trans im not trans im not fuxking trans im not fucking transgender i am a man i will be a man to my grave i can fucking do this i can repress this curse!!!!!!!!!!!

>>40941477
i tried shrooms, 2ce, dxm, duster, nutmeg, mdma and some canbabinoid that was in herbal blend, likely ab pinaca
>never really had one of those mindbending trips people talk about. was nice tho
same. ego death is just mental masturbation, peoole who talk about it have the biggest egos

>>40937732
not unless I'm drunk, no

Is it possible to continue repping by being a hypermasculine chaser? I think this solution will work and I will have the time of my life

>>40941336
Thanks to women

babydollanon I’m still looking for you

When a ftm takes low dose T, it should be called poondosing

cute twink friend trooned out like a year ago, see them now for first time since, looks competely fucked. Pinkpillers need to stop, it can actually ruin a good twink.

>>40942268
i think you're just a homo anon

>>40942271
no dude it's made them mentally unstable, there is rage in their eyes, and their hair is like flat and limp now, also has this gauntishly ghoulish look.

>>40942268
I can fix her

need to fondle a twink hrt repper's breasts while enviously complementing how feminine their body is

oh babydollanon

>>40942905
she says she's busy (gooning with me in VC)

I spent a long time away from my computer recently with only my phone and mobile data. I was in a situation where I was surrounded by other people (mostly women) and we all had scheduled meal times, bed times etc and I felt my feelings of agp and dysphoria go away for a while as I was preoccupied by other things. I don't know about you guys but isolating and stewing in my feelings was exacerbating the negatives of agp and dysphoria a lot.

>>40943134
This is very true. Its why I've ended up a very busy and motivated person rather than a bedroom troon, but you cant fill every second of every day

>>40942933
ughhhhh I miss her so much even that kind of trolling makes me feel a little better to imagine hearing from her at all

I haven't spoken to anyone in years really. I don't think I'd want to have a friend unless it was an efriend situation where I was pretending to be a woman

I can just be a somewhat feminine guy. The only person who would need to know I'm agp would be a girlfriend or boyfriend so I'll just be single. My outlet for my agp thoughts will be my fetish-y art and writing.

>>40943175
we can be friends and I will treat you like a woman (bc you are)

Someone make a repgen support group

someone make a repgen suicide cult
the asteroid will take us the next life where we can be women. don't miss your chance

>>40943243
>>40943291
inside of you there are 2 wolves

there needs to be an alcoholics anonymous but for gooning to anime women daily and wishing you were them

>>40943495
my childhood friend actually did troon out and looks like shit lmao

>>40943511
they're happier than you tho

>>40943563
do you guys really think trooning out will make all your problems and sadness go away? if anything it will give you more problems, insecurities and despair than you feel now.

>>40943610
this is exactly my experience. I'm miserable but I was worse attempting to transition. Drug addiction, cutter, constant anxiety in public

>>40943189
>My outlet for my agp thoughts will be my fetish-y art and writing.
like god intended. what do you write?

>>40943616
im sorry to hear that. i wish people didn't talk about transitioning like a miracle drug that cured all ailments and mental problems.

>>40943629
its all on @capricornkiddo on deviantart.

does repgen like guns

My most transphobic friend follows some interesting Instagram pages, and knows some interesting people on discord, and was awfully keen on finding out if im a repper

>>40943855
meaning they're a chaser or intending to murder you?

>>40943903
That's yet to be seen

>>40944046
You're such a weirdo

i think i felt for the first time properly the fear of dying which was a creeping anxiety in my core that froze me in place and made my thinking/vision blurry

i know im a man because i get the urge to shave my head every so often

>>40943291
do want. order of Aprodithe is too wacky and they dont wsnt reppers i guess.
>>40943706
n'roses only

What's the point of trooning when world become more islamic day by day?
I hate all religious but Islm most visible
If you want to tell me they are good guys please fuck off

>>40943243
Where?

>tfw just had a mental breakdown where I smashed my estrogen vial into pieces in the middle of a panic attack

bros im not doing well.

I am unemployed and completely dependent on my parents' money. They are against me transitioning, so I have been repressed for years. Because my parents are very dependent on the opinions of their colleagues and friends.

>>40944728
boogeyman. younger muzzieborns are increasingly secular, especially ones born in west. also burquas are instantpass.

>>40944802
is discord even worth getting? i dont use social media at all except session to comunicate with my drug vendor and fellow druggies.

>>40943134
even when I'm too busy to pay attention to myself at the back of my mind the longing never goes away, nothing seems to ever bring me any deeper fulfillment either

>>40944859
>also burquas are instantpass.
You really doing that? I guess you don't even go out honestly

>>40944830
:( will you be able to get more? those are always the worst
>>40944890
no

>>40944189
I know I'm a man because I'm into feminine or beautiful looking people.

>>40944927
>:( will you be able to get more? those are always the worst

Yes...I have a small amount of income so I immediately ordered another one. This has happened before.

I'm not made for this life

>>40944918
nope... or whatever were these full body bags called?

Even when I'm into men, I don't think I can relate to HSTS trannies at all. What even is my fucking stupid existence.

severance s2 was so terrible...

>>40945046
burqas are the full body ones that have a mesh over the eyes, niqab is the one that has the eyes uncovered

new thread
>>40945501
>>40945501
>>40945501