Thread 513545574

Why are more women refusing to take their man's name? Out of all the couples I know most women kept their name, some hyphenated it, and some even had the man take her name.

Matrilineal Marriage is very real
>Ian Kane Jomha (né Washburn
>In March 2020, many of iDubbbz's fans took to social media after his girlfriend, Anisa Jomha, announced her OnlyFans on Twitter.[8] Responding to the remarks of fans accusing him of being a "simp", he stated, "I love my girlfriend, and I'm totally fine with it. It doesn't affect me. If you are upset by me admitting this, then I suggest you go idolize someone else."[8] In April 2021, iDubbbz and Jomha announced their engagement.[9] They married on June 28, 2021,[23] and he took her surname.[24][25]

>>513545574 (OP)
Out of all the couples I knew or know, the only cases of a woman keeping the name were turbolefties I only knew from college and am a little surprised got married. Even most college lefties I knew changed their name. If your experience is different, you must live in a shithole like California.

If a woman doesn't want to change her last name to yours, then you shouldn't consider marrying her at all. Even if she agrees to change her name after initially expecting not to. She is not a woman worth marrying and will not take the marriage seriously. You will have an independent girlfriend who has direct access to your finances, not a wife.

>>513545815
I think eventually even those lefties run away from their past, they look at a suited man in the mirror and see a guy who was eating ass and doing blow just ten years ago, and they move and live hurriedly away from all that they believed in

100% prenup. The marriage will end in divorce within 2 years.

Nice and easy red flag

>>513545574 (OP)
Why is he even considering this if they dont want kids? This is stupid.

>>513545574 (OP)
Whores.

>>513545667
say NIGGER

>>513545574 (OP)
because jews.

>>513545574 (OP)
From the pov of a man marriage is and outdated tradition that doesnt benefit him in any way. If a woman wants to marry but refuses the tradition of taking her husband's name it reveals that she's only interested in advantages that marriage brings to her and this rules her out as a suitable wife candidate.

>>513545574 (OP)
Because of work, your name is your brand and the average woman is working on her second masters degree.

>>513545574 (OP)
now that I (almost) went through this process - if your girl isn't down with the name change, that's your red flag right there. DONT DO IT. Just date or whatever and accept that it isn't going to last. Also, always get a pre-nup. Always

>>513545574 (OP)
>traditional
>unity
Doesn't want children...

Bitches be like: "when i get married i will keep my own name girl power!"

Me be like: "you mean your father's name?"

>>513545574 (OP)
if a woman refuses to take your last name, she is declaring that your relationship is temporary and looks forward to spending your money on trivial things she intends to fill her next apartment with.

>>513545574 (OP)

>Not having children

Then why is he marrying this bitch?

>>513546118
good luck finding a judge who doesnt throw it out. just dont marry that bitch

Was engaged and when the name thing came up she gave similar arguments that its just a stupid tradition and when I pointed out that the ceremony was a stupid tradition and that we could go to the court house and take care of this whole thing in a hour she got really angry. Was honestly the straw that broke the camels back in the relationship.

>>513545574 (OP)
what an evil cunt. hope she dies before she manages to kidnap a kid and enslave the father for mockingly named "child support'

>>513546659
>if a woman refuses to take your last name, she is declaring that your relationship is temporary and looks forward to spending your money on trivial things
like a sex change for your son

It’s just another one of these little meaningless symbolic ways that they can seize for themselves a feeling of powerfulness at the cost of the very fabric of civilization itself.

Also, they plan to divorce their husbands and don’t want to have to change their names again.

>>513545574 (OP)
>we dont want kids
then theres no reason to get married, chief

>>513545975
>She is not a woman worth marrying and will not take the marriage seriously.
right. its like if someone gets saved but refuses to be called a Christian, except the holy Name has been dragged through the mud by pro-divorce masters of divinity for so long that thats actually reasonable

>>513545574 (OP)
No fucking clue. Men don't get a goddamn thing out of marriage anymore. Weddings are VERY apparently just "princess parties" these days.
If she refuses to take the guy' last name, he has all the other duties of marriage (of which women have none, of course, because "emotional labor is ick") AND ALSO has to have every guy give him the "damn im sorry bro" look every time they find out his wife kept her last name.
So basically I dont see it as purely a name issue. The name thing is literally the ONLY thing about a modern marriage to spare a man's dignity, so if she won't do even that it shows that she has absolutely no empathy for you and never, ever bothers to think about things from your perspective. It is what it is.

>>513546337
>From the pov of a man marriage is and outdated tradition
so it seems
so it seems

The comments are revealing.

You’d have to be crazy to get married in 2025…

>>513545574 (OP)
the only case I have ever heard that remotely makes sense is professor couples where the woman's name is already somewhat established

>>513545574 (OP)
a man’s last name was his fathers last name and his father before him and so on for generations. a woman’s last name is just her fathers last name and her mothers last name is just her fathers last name. also, last names were considered legal TITLES as in a record of who all the wealth and land is supposed to go to upon a a man’s death, titles bore legitimacy. she is literally trying to claim ownership over all this man has without even being willing to bare a legitimate title, feminism is a hell of a drug

>>513547170
>of which women have none, of course, because "emotional labor is ick"
* the expectation of sex is openly illegal, im fact being "married" is proof of intention to commit rape. but actual rape can be excused as a sexual emergency or a cultural misunderstanding
* the expectation of children if possible was removed by the supreme court who ruled that reproduction is between a mans wife and her doctor in legalizing contraception and abortion. the statement that he expects children is proof of intention to commit marital rape

>>513545574 (OP)
>why
Because women have been convinced that their own individuality is the most important thing imaginable.
They have a misconception on what marriage is fundamentally. Marriage is a sacred, lifelong duty that a man and woman enter into where they both sacrifice parts of themselves for their new family, creating something bigger and more beautiful than each of them individually. This requires sacrifices on the man and the woman's part. You lose some sense of individuality but in turn you mold yourself into something new.
Modern women believe that marriage is based SOLELY on what feels good and that's it. This is why divorce is so prevalent. We instilled in the mind of already married women that there's nothing wrong with destroying a family if you're not individually happy, because that hedonism is the only thing that matters in the universe.

>>513545667
jew in greece I’m shocked

>>513545574 (OP)
>we dont want children
holy fuck why get married these insuferable retards

>>513545574 (OP)
>my name
it's her fucking dad's name

>>513545574 (OP)
>traditional marriage
>we don't want children
the guy is a retard in this case, why are you marrying a woman if you're not having children

>>513547528
While I see what you're getting at, it's really the whole concept of the emotional labor idea that frustrates me. Both having sex with your husband and having children are physical activities which have bodily demands. Its -somewhat- understandable for a population of generally lazy and selfish people to abide by expectations which prevent their own exertion.
"Emotional labor" is just an excuse to hate everything men do and say. They always give some bullshit response to that too like "boohoo what do you want a mommy and a therapist to suck your dick??"
But theres a LOT of fucking space between ice queen and therapist theyre encouraging each other to ignore.

>>513546022
In the case of leftist men, sure. Leftist women mostly just go on to become leftist hags though.

>>513545574 (OP)
Before we judge this women, may we know her bfs last name ? I've seen some fucked up names in my life

>>513547783
Also this. What the fuck is the point of getting married and locking yourself into one woman forever if you're never planning on having children? Who the fuck cares if you change your name or not at that point even? You're not making an actual family.
>wants a traditional marriage
>doesn't want children
These are mutually exclusive. Unless you're both infertile, in which case you can still adopt some children.

>>513545574 (OP)
>my name is my identity
this is why hylics keep respawning in samsara

It makes sense in some fields. Nursing, being a doctor. Its a pain in the ass to change everything. Even still I know a lot of nurses who didn't legally change their names but introduce themselves using their husband's name.

>>513547989
"Emotional labor" is an example of women understanding and utilizing language and connotation only insofar as a tool to deceive. They want to use the word "labor", because they understand that way the word "feels", but they can't tie it to anything physically laborious since they're not expected to do anything physically laborious in a relationship anymore. They're not expected to cook, clean, work a demanding job, or even have sex.
So they invented the term "emotional labor" that only applies when they're tired of hearing their husband/boyfriend show any emotion that exceeds their arbitrary limit.
It's much like "emotional abuse". They want to say "abuse" because what is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear "He was abusive"? 99/100 people will immediately think "oh, he beat her ass", but they can't use the word abusive when he didn't actually lay hands on her. So they invented a new term to have the benefits of the connotation of the word, without the actual, real application of it.
tl;dr, women only understand language insofar as to use it as a tool and a weapon to deceive men into getting what they want.

>>513547989
right. suppose your wife gets injured, shes still your wife but the requirement to have sex is less important than her health, but nothing can remove the requirement to be a companion. emotional labor is weaseling out of the most basic function of marriage
> And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
nevertheless, the problem isnt that women, when insulates from having to do anything for anyone else, start trying to weasel out of responsibility to their husbands. the problem is theyre allowed to kidnap the kids, then enslave the man for mockingly named "child support", then because he is enslaved he has a hard time marrying, and everyone calls him a loser and a deadbeat and says she made the right decision

>>513545574 (OP)
>getting married
>but we're not going to have kids
Fucking idiots. The whole point of marriage is to start a family.
>r*ddit thread.
Fuck you, OP, you kike faggot.
下げ

>>513545574 (OP)
Sounds reasonable. She’s a bitch.
My wife took my last name even though it’s Dickbutts. She’s proud to join the Dickbutts family.

>>513545574 (OP)
The only time this makes sense is for established professionals. Not 20-somethings but people getting together later in life who have publishing, medical or research credentials in the public sphere.
As a younger couple, this is almost always going to lead to a divorce later, childfree or with rug rats. Most people still view marriages without a name change as kind of invalid. You might as well just be commonlaw at that point.
>t. been down both those roads

>>513545574 (OP)
A girl I was banging did this and I said "good, only the kids should get my name, you understand they are more important than you"

>>513545574 (OP)
They hate the idea of being owned by a beta bucks

>>513546864
Rules for thee, not for she.
See, she wants to have the power and to feel self-righteous. You being logically and morally consistent ruins that .

>>513545574 (OP)
>traditional marriage
>non-reproductive

Retardation all around.

>>513545574 (OP)
If they're not gonna have kids either way, why then bother with marriage?

>>513545667
Jesus christ. What a giga fucking simp. Also, post her nudes, i wanna see em.

>>513546540
Lawl!

>>513554228
>Also, post her nudes, i wanna see em.
You really don't

Reminds me of the LE TIKTOK DANCE married couple where the guy had to be subjected to the internet and doing "power couple meeting". Then we got an update the dumb bitch "realized" she was a lesbian and divorced the guy after she pretty much cucked him and made him an internet meme undateable for 90 percent of other women.

>>513555116
Wait, quirk chungus is single?

>>513555264
Yeah someone posted about it awhile ago, she divorced him and is now documenting her life as a crazy cat lady.

Even for the guy being a total cuck, I feel bad for that fucker. This guy literally did the cuck "emotionally available" shit in its highest form and this dumb bitch HALFED his ass to go live alone and be unhappy. This was a powerful reminder to me that women have no idea what the fuck they are talking about when it comes to what they want from men and need their "rights" taken away.

>>513555577
Well of course she divorced him, he's pathetic.

>>513545574 (OP)
Daddy issues

>>513554548
Sure i do, let's see em.

>>513555577
That made me lol hard. Imagine doing everything in your power to be the best cuck husband for your crazy ass wife and then she just divorces you anyways! What a friggin comedy life is..

>>513547733
Yes, I'm half jew and I hate over 95% of jews

>>513545667
Is Washburn his...maiden name?

Just make your maiden name your middle name. Problem solved.

>>513545975

This. If she doesn't want your last name it means two things:

>She's a feminist cunt and that already spells problems for the future
>She doesn't respect you, pretty much guaranteeing a divorce

>>513546864
>I pointed out that the ceremony was a stupid tradition and that we could go to the court house and take care of this whole thing in a hour
Based, that's a good retort
Good on you

If she doesn't follow tradition in changing the last name, there is no need to have an expensive wedding

>>513545574 (OP)
>"My logic is that my name is my identity"
That's actually not a reason, justification, or excuse for refusing to take your husband's last name. After all, by getting married, your identity has changed a bit. You're no longer a single, lone, virginal person, you're now part of a union, partnered with somebody else for life, for the explicit purpose of producing offspring. These are two very different identities. Don't Indians have some cultural thing like that married women have the dot painted on their forehead? And in the West we wear wedding rings. The name change is pretty similar, in being a marker for your identity. Single, or married. Solo, or duo.

By this logic, she's saying that she wants to retain her solo identity while also being married. This is a contradiction. It shows a lack of commitment to the union. Her boyfriend shouldn't cite "tradition" as the reason for his desire, he should cite assurance, fidelity, loyalty. Does she want to be on the same team as him, or not? You can't join a team and then say you want to wear the uniform and rep the name of the opposing team. You're either on board, or you're not.

>>513557294
>Imagine doing everything in your power to be the best cuck husband for your crazy ass wife and then she just divorces you anyways!
Probably didn't have dad to tell him women want the opposite of what they say they want.

>>513545574 (OP)
I come a Catholic family and I view not taking your spouse's name as disrespectful. A sign you don't think the relationship will last. I'm not entirely against the hyphenated both names trend.

Also, I suspect that Redditor wants kids, she doesn't and he's hoping to change her mind.

>>513545574 (OP)
>Gay retard doesn't want kids but his wife is even more gay and retarded and it finally caused him to zoom the fuck out and think about what is even happening
This guy's gonna be alright, he's waking up

>>513558299
By that logic he might as well take her name, don't see how you can get around tradition here.

>>513558871
Big sad

>>513545574 (OP)
>We don't want children
That "marriage" has already failed. Combine that with the woman refusing to take the man's name and you wonder why they're even together in the first place.

>>513559201
I don't have anything against tradition. But it's a terrible argument to wield against a modern woman, who has been propagandized to death that "old=bad, new=good".

>>513559910
Sure, but your logic still isn't sound. If she should change her name because now she's a different person in an union, then she can just counter with so should he.

>>513545574 (OP)
Normally I’d have an opinion, but she doesn’t want children so who gives an absolute FUCK what she wants. Go die in a bauxite mine

>>513545574 (OP)
Lel. My gf wanted to get married "just for fun" and take her name on top of it

>>513546540
I gotta hear the audio with this lmao. Got a link?

Just find a chick with a shitty last name and you're butter baby

>>513560006
This and unironically and 100 percent serious.

I would agree if a woman's last name is rare or carries weight, only if all of her siblings are females. If there are males, then tough luck.

>>513560006
right. the reason she takes his name is that marriage exists on earth to help people understand Christ's love for His believers. as believers take Christ's name calling themselves Christian, so wives take their husbands name. nothing about marriage or anything else in life makes sense if you ignore the Gospel

>>513561266
Kek, yeah, good luck convincing a postmodern globohomo female of that.

>>513545574 (OP)
The reason women traditionally take the man's name is because the Y chromosome is always passed from father to son in a direct chain creating a male line, while X chromosomes are not passed down like this and consequently there is no such thing as a female line.

Imagine you are a woman.
You have XX, one X from your father and one X from your mother.
Your mother also has XX, one X from her father and one X from her mother.
If you got your father's X and your mother's father's X then there is no trace of your mother's mother in you, at least at the level of the sex chromosomes (obviously there will still be a lineage in the other chromosomes).
Consequently there is no guarantee of an unbroken female line that connects you to your mother to her mother etc at the level of the sex chromosomes.
This never happens with the Y. A man's Y is always his father's Y which is always his father's father's Y etc.

The reason patronymic surnames became the norm is because they help us keep track of real genetic phenomena while matronymic surnames are entirely superficial. Evolution acting on culture favored patronymic names because societies with this practice had more information at their disposal than societies that didn't. Remember that people knew about heritability and micro-evolution long before they knew about DNA and macro-evolution. We have been creating artificial species through genetic engineering for millennia, and many common foods today are examples of this. For example cabbage and broccoli have the same wild ancestor, it's just that the former was selectively bred for larger leaves while the latter was selectively bred for larger flowers.

>>513562638
That makes sense.

>>513547733
What?

>>513555116
Here you go

My brother is 6ft tall, presumably 6in dick (I'm shorter and just about so), and an Accountant. He'd gone to the best public school in our state, which is actually known nationwide, trained MMA to get over being a string bean. Went military got out quick. And has a wife. They have a beautiful daughter. Been together since their sophomore year of college she's actually a month older than him so same class.
Wife is asian, mixed white. Wouldn't take his last name. Didn't, and their daughter is now of age where she wants to learn her name. And his wife, who I love truly as a sister in law, now has to explain this name identity crisis to the growing child; I mention it for this reason - my bros wife likes to "assert" that the daughters name could one day be hers. They agreed to use my brothers, like usual, but in convo his wife cant resist this sort of showing of power or of flexing. It's super gay. Like really really lame. You too had enough problems why wouldn't you just TRY and make a real family rather than this pilpul feminist bullshit.
And I cant talk with him about it. Never could. Strongest smartest guy I know I love my brother I love my father drinker and failure that he could be but for fucks sake maybe it really is all the women's fault. I know us. We werent brutalizers or bossy assholes, takers. Idk just wanted to rant, cause this happened to someone that it shouldnt have (but obviously would in some ways)

>>513565196
Lol. What a fucking loser.

>>513545574 (OP)
they dont love their man. i mean what do they want with the name of their fathers, they dont appreciation it anyway

>>513555116
>>513563743
The guy an heroed after this you know, I never see anons posting the end of this story

I wanted my wife to keep her surname because she is actually the only person in the whole world with her name. It is completely unique, at this point in time. And no I'm not telling you what it is, as she would be incredibly easy to find.

>>513545574 (OP)
My EX wife did this shit I should have known then.

>>513548088
>>513547783
Because men think
>I can fix her she will want kids eventually.
And while this is true eventually you will get in a relationship ending fight and get divorced long before they understand that they wanted kids all along.

I wouldn't marry a woman either if she refused to take my last name. The guy is right that marriage creates a new family, and a family shares a name. That being said, they don't want children so I don't know what the point of them getting married at all is. They're not making a family they're just making a legal arrangement to get slightly lower taxes. Also the guy will just get divorce raped at some point.

>>513568720
Yeah, you don't take a fixer-upper and marry them. Marrying them gives them the ability to destroy you financially on a whim, for no reason at all. Taking a chance at improving her is absolutely retarded. If you're going to marry a woman and take that risk (which is what it is now -- a severe financial risk that you have minimal control over), then she needs to be quality marriage material to begin with.