Thread 81697254

July 3rd Clockmaxxing edition

Pick up my meds
Go for haitcut
Do some cardio

drink some orange juice

1 litre bottle
400 ml vodka
300 orange juice
300 sprite

fucking health tonic

>>81697292
Youll do none of these things

Boring friendless tub of lardmaxxing

Me and Shippy are the anal kings, we fuck every arse in England

have a great day while i wage slave britfeel

>>81697412
I'll do all 3

Another day closer to the ofcom ban

>>81697705
Post proof or I wont believe you

Wage slaving begins in 2 mins lads

Walked 3 miles 2 days ago and since then my legs feel like they're ready to cramp constantly if I stand still. My body has started falling apart this year.

im addicted to codeine because of crossy

>>81697936
im addicted to crossy (but only if he looks cute)

>>81697890
Me? Had to pull a sickie because I'm hungover af

>>81697947
Reckon he looks like a hairy ape desu

>>81697292
I really struggle to find a decent barber. I have one but it's very far from me

>>81697947
You missed the photo a few days ago, huh?

>>81698003
its 50/50 whether I look shit or not, not sure what to ask for now mind, my hair is naturally curly so if I go short back/sides its the zoomercut naturally

>>81697947
hes a 32 year old drug addicted glaswegian crossdresser, the odds on him looking good are 100/1

>>81698033
I ask for short back and sides, but the boundary between the top and sides varies wildly between barbers

>Ask for short back and sides
>Get this

>>81698044
Not sure where this crossdressing bit comes from. Maybe he's worn his mum's knickers once or twice but I don't think it's a regular thing

>>81698055
he's talked quite openly about it before. it'll be in the lorechives. I would look it up but I'm just about to head to toil.

>>81698055
he wears tights and knickers when he wanks

So many games, so little time.

>>81698016
he's insisted that wasnt him eh

Garn for a McDonalds trekkie brekkie before picking up my meds oh aye

>>81698098
Morning my nigga

Going out this early means I'll be outside during peak UV hours, will need sunglasses, a hat and to keep another load of SPF to renew after 2 hours.

garn office now, we have AC there

its not even hot now lads get a grip

>>81698136
our office doesn't have AC and is in a basement kek. the building is absolutely beautiful but old as hell. going to be sweltering in there today.

cockmaxxing rn me

>>81698132
>and to keep another load of SPF to renew after 2 hours.

>>81698191
two solid finger length layers to begin with and a couple of pea sized layers to renew for me

>>81698201
You'll need it by the looks of things

>>81698210
>UV:7

Not tricking me big sun

Market day today. No UV for me as it's all indoors.

>>81698191
love that kind of stat that they've just made up or inflated the importance so they can shell you loads of shit you dont need that much of

>>81698253
I always read the smallprint on these claims and it's always some tiny sample size

>>81698166
Where do you work de lad?

>>81698253
It's probably true though most people are ignorant towards sun protection

Actually boomerbrained if you've convinced yourself that you need to slather yourself with grease every time you go outside for 5 minutes. Up there with "5 a day" and "8 glasses of water per day". Sorry Ebin but it had to be said.

Phoned the Samaritans once
No one picked up

>>81698336
It's the opposite unfortunately, boomerbrained to think sun protection isn't necessary

>>81698336
Ebin has incredibly pale skin though, it's different for him.

>>81698346
Wrong.
>B-but I look young!
Yeah couldn't be a myriad of other factors causing this. It MUST be my sunslop just because okay! Use your intuition.

Every dermatologist will tell you sunscreen is important yet a couple of smelly incels here think they know better

>>81698358
>(((dermatologist)))

>>81698358
>Delegating your thinking to the vague idea of "the dermatologists" (whoever they are) instead of experience and first principles.
Gonna be a no from me. This place may be full of incels, but don't pretend like you aren't complete normies in everything else.

Almost as if people's skin tone adapted over millenia to the latitude they were at, and tanning provides an additional temporary boost during summer

>>81698355
Explain the pics of truck drivers who have tons more wrinkles and sun damage on the window facing side of their face

>>81698371
Noooo you see. We wouldn't have survived without Nivea. AD and BC are so archaic. It's actually AN and BN. We're in 50BN right now.
>>81698380
It's not an argument.

>>81698358
doctors will promote smoking cigarettes to you, yet a bunch of puritanical Christians thought they knew better

Liverpool player died in car accident, mental

>>81698371
Do you also think we shouldnt brush our teeth?

>>81698403
hardly mental is it? Senna died in a car crash and he knew his way around automobiles

>>81698408
Do you always make false analogies when losing arguments?

>>81698380
Never known a real life example of someone having one side of their face wrinkly

>>81698409
I think it's mental desu

>>81698418
fair enough tbqhwylad. Scousers should milk it for the next 20 years like 'illsbru

Surely if UV was so bad, humans would never have lost their melaninated skin as they moved northwards

>>81698408
It's up to you if you want to have bad breath.

>>81698414
Was my first post today laddie

>>81698318
it will be true to some extent but nowhere near as bad as they make out

I'd rather not have accelerated aging, permanent skin damage and a risk of skin cancers

Driving test Monday. Feeling really confident about it. Want to get it behind me and stop worrying about it.

Oh but I can't! They're short-staffed and it's been pushed back a 6 weeks! Amazing! Thank you Britain!! You are the best for helping out young people!!! Everything is fine

>>81698463
probably some boat wog needed a test

Moderation seems to be an odd concept these days. Get 30 minutes of direct sunlight or so, then as long as you don't sunbathe like an absolute gammon mong, you'll be perfectly fine with sunscreen. Hats will help also.

>>81698463
>You are the best for helping out young people
The old people learning to drive are just as fucked as you are

Looking sickly pale like a leukemia patient because I'm terrified of UV, but at least I don't look like my age.

>>81698468
no direct sunlight for me im staying protected in life, vitamin d tablet all the way

>>81698471
Hope they all crash and fucking die

>>81698496
you too then mate

>>81698491
Unnatural tan is just skin damage, embrace your natural skin tone, you can use vitamin C on your face to help x

Is manual driving tedious? Seems kinda annoying having to upshift/downshift constantly rather than just chill and have it done automatically.

>>81698563
it's fine but our country is just stuck in the past, in proper first world countries they all drive automatic

>>81698563
It's definitely better in an automatic.

>>81698563
more control is better

>>81698563
driving is generally tedious. traffic lights are all out of sync, too many morons who drive 10 below or 20 above, people who roll in traffic jams causing a caterpillar effect, people who take a mile to accelerate to 30, and so on

>>81698582
I think it's fun as hell tbqh, but some parts like you say are annoying but that's because of other people more than the actual driving.

there are some 4 way lights near me that change after about 10 seconds with a 30 second gap before the next way goes, you can get stuck there for 10 minutes when there's only a dozen cars in the queue

>>81698582
This anon knows the score

There's no reason to drive when you can take the tram everywhere

>>81698594
yeah it's definitely because of a select number of people, also the traffic lights, i passionately hate traffic lights. dutch traffic lights are great, perfectly synced, timers counting down to when you can go, no pedestrians running across the road at the last second either, so annoying when a set of lights changes after 10 seconds and a pedestrian decides to start crossing as the lights change to green

>>81698607
Driving is fun. Trams are full of smelly mongs. Trams are on schedules. If we lived in a more civilized (White) country, they'd be better

Shippy is a bad driver. That's why he only earns minimum wage.

>>81698623
Not sure driving ability has much to do with salary outside of a racing environment.

>>81698629
what about lorry drivers?

https://www.google.com/maps/@52.9550454,-1.0949137,3a,75y,304.78h,90.93t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sN7tw1pbC3jSQy2DUSLVF_w!2e0!6shttps:%2F%2Fstreetviewpixels-pa.googleapis.com%2Fv1%2Fthumbnail%3Fcb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile%26w%3D900%26h%3D600%26pitch%3D-0.9320793787007489%26panoid%3DN7tw1pbC3jSQy2DUSLVF_w%26yaw%3D304.7759511169859!7i16384!8i8192?entry=ttu&g_ep=EgoyMDI1MDYzMC4wIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D

>ywn go here with Nottinghamanon

Speaking of driving--always thought having a little simrig set-up might be nice, but the boomerbrain part of me thinks investing so much time, money and boxflat space into that is childish, even if I'd probably enjoy it a lot. Not like I can just hop in a Rally car and drive it without killing myself y'know.

>>81698631
I don't think lorry drivers are better drivers. It's a different vehicle with a different license. Liking comparing a motorbike to a quadbike or something

How are we all planning to clockmaxx July 3rd?

>>81698650
Opiates and movies

>>81698601
I'm in that image lad please remove it immediately.

*informs the apus that diogo jota has died*

>>81698657
so you were definitely outside then and not in your boxroom when that satelite was passing overhead?

Need HHL to see this

https://youtu.be/Hbhcb-vfv6w?feature=shared&t=300

Struggling with everything to be quite honest with you lads

>>81698680
ill show it to him later thanks

>>81698684
It not right de lad, it not right

>>81698680
>mike graham
No thanks

HHL is "pussy free"
Not sure what it means still

>>81698684
Something in your life that brings you joy? x

>>81698667
>its not fake
Damn

>>81698700
He doesn't have a vagina

>>81698680
YOU CANT GROW CONCRETE

>>81698712
but you can mix it

hastings is so lovely, love the south coast me i really do

>>81698674
Good point, I'm probably not in it then am I. As you were.

>>81698700
No pets allowed in the care home.

Good day for a bit of this, mates.

>>81698771
bat her? i barely know her!

moring big lasses what's todays drivel what's todays drama who are todays dollies

>>81698771
Not even sunny here, it not rite

>>81698822
sunny here but a bit chilly honestly
might ave to shut the winder

>>81698821
there was an incident with ebin

>>81698821
you love it really dont pretend

https://desuarchive.org/r9k/search/image/VMgpDtyKUkTQHUgJd4tA9Q/ some of you are too gullible

>>81698563
I've been tempted to learn to drive again, can't do fuck all without a car in this country anymore. I tried 12 years ago but failed my test and didn't bother again. Might try again in an automatic as I hated having to worry about stalling at every junction. Everyone I know who switched to an automatic says it makes driving much more enjoyable.

>>81698861
so? this proves nothing

>>81698861
No spastics here will believe what they want to for teh epic drama and le bait und LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

my favourite car was semi automatic, gears but automatic clutch, paddles on the steering wheel and a stick you push forward or back

seasideMARK comments on the death of Diogo Jota
>No way. So sad what amazing player to lose. Life is so so short. Here today and gone tomorrow. Send my condolences to his family. Life is so so short. Make the most of your life.

indecent incident

>>81698867
youre a fat twat sat in a dress rn proof me wrong

Rachel Reeves crying was literally, directly linked down to the fucking minute, with the slump in UK bond market.

This is why you never have women in positions of power, they cannot control their emotions. Sorry, you're the Chancellor. You need to do better. When you cry on live TV in PMQs you directly cause the pound to be devalued. FUCK YOU. Resign already you dumb fucking cunt.

>>81698864
automatics are easier, i wouldnt say they're more enjoyable
at the whims of what the car thinks you want to do

also it's way more satisfying to slam a gear down and foot down

>>81698867
t. 75iq

>>81698882
automatics will drop down a gear if you put your foot down hard. at least my semi auto did when it was in fully auto mode. also had a cool fast start feature, two actually, i only ever tried the one where you just pump it to 2-3k rpm then put your foot down, there was another that involved turning the key so it was awkward to try

>>81698881
Kek, didn't know about this until now. What a fucking dumb bitch. Like a dog that got caught shitting on the carpet.

>>81698881
>This is why you never have women in positions of power, they cannot control their emotions
To be fair we've had plenty of women in that position before.
It's exclusively her that is fucking woefully shit.

>>81698881
>This is why you never have women in positions of power
Unironically women should never be in any job.

Man who has never had sex is angry at all women.

Got my meds and picked up a meal deal

>>81698336
I just don't want to age badly with wrinkles

>>81698934
You should have bought some disposable wipes for that keyboard

>>81698055
When he was younger his sisters used to dress him up women's clothing and paraded him around the streets in dresses for their amusement. It scrambled his brain that much he thought he was a tranny for years and almost trooned out because of it

>>81698934
Are you the lad who was posting his lunch from the mouldy office a while back?

>>81698969
Kyle has never had a job in his life

>>81698934
Fucking state of your peripherals mate. Clean that shite off right now.

>>81698930
I have had lots of sex and I say Rachel Reeves can go jump in front of a bus.

Making up sexualised tranny drama about your online dollies is it princess?

I feel no moral obligation to work vs claiming benefits.

Can anyone offer a compelling reason for me to do so? I'm seriously drawing a blank on this one. Why work? There's no point and it would only be supporting a system and government that actively hates me. No thanks mate.

>>81698998
Not made up though, that's the tragic part

>>81698998
It's in the archives you mong he's told us about everything on his drunken drug addled 3am rants

SSM is proof you can live comfortably living on benefits
Working for a living may be for you but it not for him

>>81699026
Living comfortably is subjective, lad. SSM or yourself might be comfortable living as he does, but personally I wouldn't be. It might be for you, but it's not for me. But it might be for you.

[dolly] is a tranny
[dolly] is a fag
[dolly] is a nonce
Get some new material you low IQ man child

>>81699026
>SSM is proof you can live comfortably living on benefits
Working for a living may be for you but it not for him
Okay

>>81699026
all it really proves is that our benefits system is too generous

>>81698930
T. Seething roastie

Another example of this is the Thai prime minster

Can't afford or know how to use a vpn and can't afford a 4chan pass its over for me when the ban kicks in

>>81698861
is that really him?

>>81699066
I kind of hope it is because it would be hilarious, but also not because it would be grim af.

So depressed they are talking my 4chan away from me my only form of socialising. I'm going to rot on the sofa all day ffs.

spinning out on la autovia and burning to death in a horrific fireball accident, sir? it is a thursday after all, is it not?

Can't stand interacting with Indians desu. Who the fuck says 'do the needful'?

The world is in a terrible state, lads.

>>81699066
Aye. Cute ain't he

>>81699081
I love Indians, always going to the Indian populated areas of my city and hanging out with them, eating food with them, they're brilliant

I would be happy with age verification on 4chan I'm not a hateful edge lord pervert like you

>>81699092
If it just means a tick box then sure. If it means scanning your passport or driving licence fucking fuck off not doing that shit.

>>81699085
>The world is in a terrible state, lads.
Might be for you but its not for me lad

>>81699097
They're never adding age verification lol

>>81699097
Passport, drivers license or facial scan I don't mind like I said I'm not an edgy hate fuelled sex case

>>81699092
Hiro doesn't give a shit about Ofcom. He just ignores their requests. Ofcom will have to get all ISPs to block access to 4chan

>passport scan
>driving licence scan
>credit/debit card information
>written permission to access the site from a community member of good standing e.g. your GP, religious figure, town councillor etc.
>full facial scan
>T-pose nude full body images (back and front)
>current employment details and previous five years employment history
>links to all relevant social media
>fingerprints
>penile imprint
>list of all known sexual fetishes written down while attached to a polygraph to ensure truthfulness

Anything less would simply be inviting harm on to young, vulnerable people.

>>81699120
Won't take long for them to block us then since they are already blocking hundreds of other sites fucking hell what am I going to do all day when they do

>>81699075
Footmong reposting a pic from outer r9k to Britfeel and writing a made up britfeel related origin has nothing to do with crossy though

Does the website host any content whatsoever that disagrees with the official government approved opinions? Then the site will be banned. It's so fucking over.

I genuinely don't even think of England as a country, or the UK as a union of countries. It honestly feels, and IS, an economic state. Not a country - an economic experiment that has gone, and will keep going very, very wrong.

Pretty insane we have no national identity anymore

>At my wit's end with everything
>Depressed and anxious and want to die
>I don't like feeling this way and I'm trying to get help
>Look at a few online resources
>CALM
>Four lads in jeans talk sea shanties and cyberbullying with CALM
>Jamie Laing: Learning to live with anxiety
>IDLES AND THE AF GANG ON COMMUNITY

>>81699147
The problem with this assessment is that we do not have a good economy, and nothing that has been done to the country could be justified in economic terms. Where is this hallowed economic dynamism, low taxes, low regulatory burden, cheap abundant energy/housing, high quality infrastructure, high wages, high productivity, high GDP per capita growth?

It me Birthday. All downhill from here (not that it was ever uphill).

>>81699185
30 is the new 20 mate don't worry

>>81699176
>Where is this hallowed economic dynamism, low taxes, low regulatory burden, cheap abundant energy/housing, high quality infrastructure, high wages, high productivity, high GDP per capita growth?
It doesn't exist. The experiment failed and all the State can do it accelerate it into the ground

>>81699207
It really is. I'm 27. Might as well be a 17 year old. That said, I'd love kids when I can have them and terrified I'll not be able to

>>81699215
Exactly, but it never was some kind of deal with the devil to achieve economic prosperity at the cost of the nation's soul. It never has been and never was intended as such, nor could it be justified in those terms theoretically. It literally has just been gay race communism all the way down.

Babylon sickness in my brain

>>81699185
30 is a tough bridge to cross, but then you'll realise it makes fuck all difference. It's just cos yours "20s" is when you feel "young" and now you're not, but really the march of time is as cruel each year anyway.
That and I think my personality and life really hasnt changed much since like 23, or even 19

When I was a teen, before university, I assumed I'd have a job, rent a little flat in zone 1 London, have a local pub down the road, spend my free time writing and living the life of a romantic young writer.
I was robbed. All I wanted was the life of Raskolnikov, sans the murder and a slightly nicer room

>>81699207
I'm not worried it will just be the same shit different day.
>>81699239
I'm pretty much the same personality as when I was a teenager. Same interests and dress style. Only difference then I was in school and now I'm a NEET.

>>81699229
>but it never was some kind of deal with the devil to achieve economic prosperity at the cost of the nation's soul
Thatcher is the she-devil

>>81699249
I think the only thing that's different is teen me was a funnier dickhead. I got a few clips of me as younger and some of the shit I said makes me laugh like "fuck that was good".
I guess years of alcohol and wageslaving have smoothed out my edgy humour and made me less witty.

Kinda wish I grew out of the crippling shyness and general self-loathing though, but hey ho.

shyness is nice
and shyness can stop you
from doing all the things in life youd like to x

>>81699262
I always got told I was funny as well. Always making dark jokes and reaction jokes on the fly. I kind of thrived on it making me mates laugh. Sadly this goes both ways as my autism meant I made inappropriate jokes and offended people.

>>81699239
>the march of time

Not much left after paying all me debts. Free from this prison soon, oh yes.

>>81699276
Sounds like we were the same mate. Admittedly though I just rolled with the inappropriate jokes and said "it's offensive, that's the point of the joke". If anyone kicked off I just reminded them I don't mean it, and if they still didn't like it I gave up (or doubled down on the jokes if I didn't like them much).

Guess we just got the life of the "class clown".

Me? Idly thinking about Lola Young in a 5-way bwc gangbang. I expect she is quite accommodating given her low self esteem. And she looks like she knows her way around a cock.

Quiet day at work dee lads

>>81699291
I was bullied relentlessly so I was grateful for the small group of mates I had that stuck by me. Still it was one sided. I think they used me sometimes but when I asked them for a favour or to do something it wouldn't be the same. Glad I've learned to say no to people.

>>81699302
When are you going to move that bag of compost lad?

>>81699247
Iktfb, I just wanted a peep show life and was robbed of it. I'd have settled for a flat in zone 6

>>81699302
Nice Primark jeans lad

>>81699303
I was slap bang in the middle of groups. I wasn't super nerdy to fit in with the terminally bullied (although I was bullied a lot) but not popular enough to be cool.
We had a pretty big group of those inbetweeners that I was part of so it wasn't half bad, and a lot of those lads were funny as fuck too.
I was pretty good at saying no though. I fell in with stoners as my main mates and they'd do all kinds of shit I just said no to. Actually an experience I'd recommend being in a room full of stoned people doing weird shit as the one not-stoned person as you take in their antics better. I was usually just drunk instead.

I love the practicality of a sturdy woman

>>81699316
I find it genuinely baffling that things turned out the way it did. I was promised that if I worked hard, went to school, went to university, got a job, kept my head down and my nose clean, that things would be good. Life in the UK is a fucking scam

>>81699312
When I have new flowers to plant dee lad
>>81699317
Unbranded Amazon jeans dee lad

>>81699302
Jeans are too skinny

>>81699320
Yeah my sixth form days and university years when I got into the local metal crowd mostly consisted of sitting around in this one lad's flat getting drunk and stoned and dicking about in guitar and listening to music. Some really nice guys but also a lot of patrician cunts that looking back I didn't even like.

>>81699302
Primark socks is it

back from my walk it wasn't as nice as yesterday but i still found some interesting locations and new routs

Me? Kapital jeans

>Wanted a food delivery
>Just-Eat signed me out of the app
>We'll send a verification code to your e-mail
>The e-mail never fucking arrives

>>81699367
stop being lazy and walk to the shop

>>81699373
And walk past my old and hated secondary school at lunch-time, with all the little fuckers around? Sod that.

Grown man. Ordering takeaways at lunchtime. Outwitted by the delivery app. Refuses to walk there because he's scared the kids in the local school will point and laugh at him.

>>81699367
check in the setting if your e-mail is correct

>>81699381
what were you try to order

>>81699339
>tfw a metal patrician
Way to call me out mate

>>81699367
Not a problem for are Timmy

>patrician
ive learnt a new word today

>>81699386
Fuck yourself. I logged into Deliveroo anyway.

>>81699424
>t. plebeian

He keeping them boathouse in employment by ordering jeetslop on the yankapp. He a good Christian soul.

>>81699445
i already knew that one

>>81699451
i really hope you dont use those meme words in real life

Thank you Nervana Mahmoud, very interesting!

who else /sharholder/ here?

>>81699464
then not knowing the antonym for it is weird

>antonym
i have learnt two new words today
>>81699530
pleb was a common insult when i was a kid

On average every day in London:
>704 violent assaults
>between 168-288 cars stolen (the numbers are so wild they actually don't know for sure lol)
>191 phones stolen on the street
>24 "alleged" rapes
>0.33 murders
>247 shoplifting incidents
>50 bike thefts
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

>>81699540
Why does that amuse you though

>>81699539
I'm just starting to think the real reason is you don't know very many words mate.

>>81699540
Never had a problem there me

Tried to book a GP appointment because I am suicidal
>No appointments available

>>81699540
yeah but there are 9 million Londoners so percentage wise that's not bad

>>81699547
i know enough

>>81699546
Just funny innit?

>>81699549
>did you know that every day in London 191 phones are stolen on the street
>but I've never had my phone stolen...
Lad, dare I ask you about breakfast?

>>81699554
Now do Tokyo.

>>81699577
>Just funny innit?
Explain what you find funny about it

>Blackpool tops the list with a violent crime rate (VCR) of 161.5 per 1,000 and a property crime rate (PCR) of 89.2 per 1,000. Theft and antisocial behavior are major concerns, especially in tourist-heavy areas.
i would have never guessed

>>81699581
Just kind of feel it in my bones.

>>81699540
>>247 shoplifting incidents
Those numbers wont be right either, shoplifting is going crazy in loads of places and half the time they dont even tell the police anymore as they do fuck all

Just don't walk around with your phone in your face not paying attention to your surroundings like a mug and nothing will happen

Finally feel like I have the energy and will to get off the sofa maybe I'll shower get dressed and bring the bin in hopefully I'll be attacked by a terrorist and I'll die

>>81699599
Remarkable how many people do this in central London. In my opinion they fucking deserve it and I'm not mad

>>81699549
T. sheltered upbringing

>>81699599
>Just don't walk around with your phone in your face not paying attention
But I'm a millennial it's my way of life it's our culture.

CC'ing my GP practice in when I send my suicide email to Starmer

>>81699577
>Now do Tokyo.
I tried looking up phone thefts in Tokyo and it's actually quite hard to find any numbers. One statistic says 600 phones a day are lost, but then 83% of them are handed in and returned to their owners. Genuine phone theft seems so rare that it's almost a rounding error.

Japanese people don't steal things, you can leave your bag on the street all day and nobody will take it

So it's my responsibility to make sure I never use my phone in public, rather than the state's responsibility to ensure that the streets are safe enough to be able to use a phone in public?

Seems um, not ideal if I'm being honest...

>>81699599
I can do that as much as I want as I don't live in a shithole

I have let 12 spiders out into the IRL in this past week.

Will the blocked 4chan page just look like the ones for torrent sites?

Can't stand mongs who make arguments along the lines of 'haha yeah mate the city's rough can't use your phone out there or it'll be nicked! the city feels so alive! if you can't handle it then maybe a quiet sleepy town is more suited to you darling haha'. Like what the fuck? Can't we just put criminals in prison? Why do we have to put up with crime like this? It doesn't make anything better.

>>81699654
You can use your phone just fine mate, just don't be a mug

Quite enjoying this Chinese wuxia drama series about the world of martial arts. Better than modern Western slop that's for sure.

>>81699658
Except I should be able to use my phone anywhere at any time. The fact that we simply accept rampant phone theft and 'no phone use areas' as things that are just unavoidable and normal is absurd. Plenty of cities out there where you won't get your phone nicked. It's nothing to do with being a mug, there are videos of people simply walking down relatively nice, populated streets in the middle of the day in London and having their phone taken out of their hands by a yoof on an e-bike. We don't have to live like this.

>>81699671
Only mugs get their phone stolen

Steal my phone and I'll steal your life.

>>81699686
this is victim blaming

Walk around central London all the time at night using my phone, never had it stolen because I'm no mug

>youtube ads getting through ublock
wtf is going on lids? is this the end?

>>81699707
or just lucky

Mark is wearing his Liverpool shirt in solidarity of that Liverpool player. his 3 items worth 900 pound is coming soon his turn to pay this weekend. Also mark is eating organic foods from now on, after all he can afford it better than giving it to the bookies.
https://youtu.be/2HEzElTVX1s?si=wtwAJivTr_eUdSJs

Haha yeah mate, just gotta keep looking over your shoulder every couple seconds in the capital city to make sure you're not victimised by a career criminal living on benefits in the city centre. Nothing wrong with this arrangement!

SSM must be loaded with bennies, how does he afford rent and a new laptop and new gaming console every month

Just want a gf I can emotionally abuse and blame for my failures

A woman cries
My taxes rise
Welcome to Starmer's Britain

>>81699727
You don't need to do that, looking over your shoulder all the time makes you look like a scared mug, you'll just get targeted doing that

>>81699730
The best minds of /britfeel/ are baffled by it lad
https://desuarchive.org/r9k/search/text/where%20does%20seasidemark%20get%20his%20money/

>>81699733
>Just want a gf I can emotionally abuse and blame for my failures
they just leave you when you do this and you end up feeling even worse, dont ask me how i know

>>81699730
The stupid cunt is maxing multiple credit cards and then selling the items off at CEX for cash for a quarter of the price, getting into more and more debt.

I'd prefer one to physically abuse I reckon.

Missus has lumped the sprogs' bedtimes on to me every night this week and is doing so again. Always something she needs to do instead. Not very happy about it. Haven't even had a blowjob in weeks.

Well that my teethe brushed for this week

>>81699754
Enjoy gum cancer, not putting fucking chemicals in my mouth me

>>81699730
> how does he afford rent
It's council, so universal credit
>nd a new laptop and new gaming console every month
credit

56 pence to last him to the end of the month it lush.

>>81699748
I really, really want to harm a woman, but I don't want it to be abusive. I get that sounds weird but what I mean is that I want nothing more than for a woman to, completely consensually, allow me to punch her really, really, REALLY hard in the face while fucking her.

>>81699753
wanna nip that in the bud sharpish or it'll become a forever habit (the no bj). People will take the piss if you let them

Robocop on premier P P P Plus. It lush.

>>81699756
Who keeps giving him lines of credit though?

Londoner here.
I fucking hate it and I want to leave immediately

>>81699766
It's very easy to get very high interest credit. His limit probably keeps going up also. It's only a problem when you default, and even then he just makes up some bollocks about identity theft

>>81699766
>use a different dob
>use a different name
????
PROFIT!
he hinted at it when he first paid off his debts but he keeping it private

>>81699775
What do you think about Shippy saying it's the best place in the UK?

>>81699766
His credit score is in the low 400s so his options are running out. I imagine he has to resort to very high interest loans from dodgy companys from hear on out.

>>81699775
Off to Tokyo are you? I'm well jel

>>81699711
ublock always win in the end dont fucking worry ya pansy

Enjoyed ssm thinking 24 months of ps premium was 24 months warranty

Marks eating organic all the way. It lush. 7 pound jars of honey in the cupboards my lid. It lush. Marks turn to pay this weekend.
https://www.youtube.com/live/JOoVBgh-6OA?si=7JSAhBabqTn-DUKb

>>81699791
Nah Japan never appealed to me. Neither does Thailand et al.

>>81699711
>>81699792
>t. penniless mongs

>>81699793
Hes going to be gutted once he finds out that if he redeems his 24 months PS+ onto his PlayStation account it is tied to that account and cannot be transferred to another. So as soon as he puts that code in thats 100 pounds gone. As if he will keep it for 24 months I will give it 2 weeks before its gone.

On day 4 of being in bed all day on my wablet. Still cant find something to do. Video games arent interesting to me anymore.

>>81699775
> I want to leave immediately
Why?

>>81699791
I've been to Tokyo. Best city in the world. You can get beer for 90p a pint there.

>>81699793
replacement on for free when it lost (in cex)
>>81699809
he use same account when he get another

The nice places to live all have very much stricter immigration laws than we do. Funny that.

>>81699806
are you gonna unironically defend youtube now eh laddy?

>>81699832
He's going to say you're poor because you aren't paying for youtube premium

Off to 7/11 for a strong zero xx

>>81699840
I was actually going to get it and then they changed the cheap one to "only removes *some* ads" which is fucking stupid when the whole point is to skip ads.

>>81699823
This isn't even true. Well... it might be true now thanks to Brexit, but in general, not really. America is really the only difficult country, but you might win the Green Card lottery (doubt)

>>81699848
I went to a 7/11 in Japan when I visited and got some of their friend chicken. It was like under 1 GBP per piece and tasted genuinely better than any goyslop I've ever eaten over here. Plus it wasn't made by a jeet in his mid-40s who never washes his hands due to 'cultural reasons'.

Japan is just a better country.

>drank last night
>said i wouldnt drink tonight and save it for tomorrow
>kinda want a drink tonight

>>81699782
>What do you think about Shippy saying it's the best place in the UK?
What do you?

>>81699858
>Japan is just a better country.
well not much of a challenge is it kek

>>81699871
I know, but it's truly astonishing how it's better in absolutely every way. Every single thing, big or small, is just better. You'd think we might edge it out in one way or another, but nope, it wins every time.

>>81699866
It's top 3, but Nottingham is the best

so i'll just sit here in my own sweat and piss and die alone is that what you want will that make you happy?

>>81699876
we edge it out in having some banging pork pies m8

>>81699876
We have Greggs lad.

>>81699817
>Why?
It's just shit. Everything is 'paywalled', immigrants, no affordable housing, services like the Tube are dogshit - managed decline I reckon - can't get NHS appointments, crime, segregated posh neighbourhoods thriving while everything else is like a sewer.
I'm proud to be born in London but it has well and truly gone to the fucking dogs.

Worst of all? Nothing will get better. Only worse.

>>81699877
>Nottingham is the best
words of someone whos never been to carlisle

>>81699894
thats just capitalism

>>81699894
Summed it up pretty well, lad. The people in power don't have the remotest desire to change course, they only want to manage the discontent as best as they can (which is terribly because independent of their ideological convictions they're also actual retards) while doubling down on everything that they've done to ruin the country.

>>81699901
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Agreed comrade! The only thing that can save England at this point would be to turn it into Venezuela!

>>81699901
I agree with you a million percent lad. I really do. But as a result it's turned London into literal hell and I want out.

Weren't expecting that, were you lad?

In the 80s unemployment was so high it was optional to go to the job centre every fortnight. Lucky cunts.

>>81699876
Japan has cleaner streets and fewer niggers, but anywhere in Western Europe mogs it in practically every single way imaginable.

>>81699901
you cant really make that argument when london spent most of history being THE capital of capitalism and had better times in days gone by

Japan is just like our animies with clean streets, polite people who love us and a venting machine on the corner of every rice field

>>81699914
I'm all for it if our women also turn into Venezuelans

>>81699917
i wasn't defending capitalism i was just saying all those problems come from it
>>81699927
what argument do you think im making

>>81699919
Not true. Cleaner streets and fewer niggers sure, but also better infrastructure, dramatically lower crime rates, better mass transit, better customer service, cheaper food/restaurants, better hotels, more interesting cafes, wider range of shops, better balance between ultramodern urban and ancient cultural/historic sites, slimmer population.

The one thing maybe, MAYBE it loses out on are concerts. But holy shit have you priced them recently? Fucking mental how much is charged for a ticket now it's honestly not worth it.

>>81699918
Mum says in the 80s you could walk out of one job and into another on the same day.

>>81699954
what is japans suicide rate three times higher than the uks?

>>81699971
why*
ffs

>>81699971
Because they live like this and work 14 hour days.

>>81699948
>i wasn't defending capitalism i was just saying all those problems come from it
No I know lad. You were doing the opposite and I agree.

>>81699971
>why is japans suicide rate three times higher than the uks?
work culture

>>81699956
London based so different for you notherners. My dad got a job at 17 at a desk clerk in a highstreet bank and worked himself up through charisma and charm to where he is now.

Mum and dad both tell me it was piss easy to get a job in southern england in the 80s

>>81699954
You're naming all the things a tourist would care about and omitting the bad things about Japan that citizens care about. You've never lived there. You have no idea other than a romanticised tourist view.

>>81699979
doesn't seem like that's better than the uk in every way

Hard to imagine any native Brit actually thinking Japan has a better countryside either.

>>81699979
comfy as heck bro

>>81699991
They're leaving something out lad

>>81699991
My mum told me my Grandad paid 100 quid for her childhood home.

>>81699991
Wasn't the 80s full of mass unemployment, strikes and poverty? Was that the 70s?

>>81700000
numbers, oh yes

>>81700011
No mate it was absolutely amazing in every way
>source: anon's parents

>>81700006
>my dad bought a 3 bed house back in the day when he was like 22

>>81700015
Don't be obtuse lad

>>81700017
who are you originally quoting?

>>81697636
Shippy doesn't do anal. Anal is Jewish. Unless you want shit flecks down your knob you have to wear a johnny.

I'd jump at the chance to take a time machine into 1985 with the assumption I'd never come back to present day.

Just want a gf who will emotionally abuse me and blame me for her failures

>>81699671
>Plenty of cities out there where you won't get your phone nicked

Name five in the UK

>>81700044
Nottingham's one

>>81700033
Same, then I'd take a flight to Tokyo and die in a street race on a mountain pass. Better than giving it to the bookies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaPMP3DKCGw

Freezer update!

Scott Horton: "Can you google exactly how many hundreds of millions of dollars that Trump took from Sheldon and Miriam Adelson..."

Mark Dubowitz: "Who are Americans, by the way."

SH: "Who are Americans who Sheldon Adelson said his only regret is serving in the American military rather than the IDF and said America should nuke Iran in order to get them to give up their nuclear weapons program and he said 'I have ONE issue. One: Israel.'And they gave Trump hundreds of millions of dollars over three campaigns, that's not just 'geez I really hope you'll think of me' money..."

Lex Fridman: "Scott, first of all, a couple things, one there's a lot of people that are friends with Trump and try to gain influence. I believe that Trump is an American and he makes his own decisions. Lets, for the purposes of this conversation just focus on that."

Staggering how it's all just brushed past LMAO. Lex is such a fucking disingenuous bad actor it's actually quite boring at this point.

>>81700027
the greentext was a mistake m8 im sorry i let you lads down

>>81700097
forgive and forget liddo

blad sent me a weight loss update

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYOkB7pYp3Q

The zoomers are nostalgic about 2016 lads. Check out those comments too

I have now released 13 spiders into the wild.
Bastards they are.

>>81700133
im not watching zoomer content mate

>>81700133
Zoomers are a joke but you can't really blame them, they didn't ask to be born x

>>81700138
maybe it was the same spider over and over again

>>81700133
we're zoomers too, 2016 was one of the last great years

>>81700152
Nah, different sizes, and 1 little bugger that would grow into 1 of the fat spiders.

>>81700133
Fucking hell I'm getting old. 2016 was the same as 2024. Not a single bit of difference. The real nostalgic years are anything between the 1990s and earlys 2000s, since that was before the internet really started going and before smartphones had access to the internet.

Really really tired but theres a fly in my room

>>81700122
The fuck mate, delete this

>>81700133
This annoys me, when people say "XXXX was the last great year!!" "XXXX years were the best!" when its just when they were young. 2016 barely feels different from now for me

>>81700133
Summer of 2016. Fucking incredible

Noticed the last few days rachel off of countdown is really getting back into showing off some skin corrrr

she has a rather short dress on today

>>81700266
corrr would shag her
-most milquetoast trying to be shocking thing any male brit can say

>>81700266
That little smirk... She knows what she's doing. She loves making all the old codgers rock hard.

>>81700279
Don't get me started on Holly Willoughby!

Lily Allen on some podcast talking about abortions. Said she can't remember exactly how many she's had, "about 4 or 5". Podcast host jumps in gleefully - "oh my god Lily I've had 5 too, I'm so happy we can say this!".

Absolutely fucking grim.

>>81700325
What's the problem chud?

>>81700257
>2016 barely feels different from now for me
That's cause it isn't lol. What is different from 2016 and now? Literally not a single thing

It's all going to shit the lats

>>81700371
well exactly, the only variable is the person clamining 2016 was most likely young and in the happiest years rather than the year itself

>>81699991
>to where he is now.

And where is that?

>>81700371
Couple wars and fucked cost of living

>>81700371
I would say that plenty has changed in real terms - money is worth less, taxes are higher, services are worse, immigration is higher, crime is worse, housing is worse and less affordable, jobs are scarcer, streets are dirtier, more shops are closed, cars are more expensive to run, bills have gone up, food costs more etc. it's just that the trajectories have remained constant. We've been getting worse year on year for a very, very long time, so it feels like 'nothing has changed' in that regard. Day to day lives are shittier in almost every way.

Me and Shippy have sweaty balls

>>81700371
Our living costs are 50% higher

I'd love to brag about my lifestyle a bit but it will just hurt lads here, so I'll refrain.

>>81700325
I wouldn't be surprised if by abortion they mean the morning after pill and they're hamming it up to seem cool and edgy and le emancipated female

>>81700371
Honestly couldn't tell you a single fucking thing i done in 2016

Put a gun to my head, i could tell you FUCK ALL about that entire year

>>81700402
Do you have a swiss visa?

>>81700426
trump won election

>>81700426
Trump and Brexit

Alright de lads, me nappy proper pongs today. Waiting for me warer Olumedie to come and change me. Sick of sitting here with this pong, proper rotten it is. Wish he'd wurry up and sort us out de lads. There's no dignity with this pong about me, got me proper down. Oh aye. :3

>>81700430
>trump won election
so, similar to 2024 then?

>>81700439
Yeah that's good. Let's riff on the idea that HelperLad's whole life is an affront to his dignity but he's smug about not working and living in a care home regardless, can we lean into that tension?

>>81700426
I was a few years into my job and we hired an SJW
When trump won she unironically said she was "literally shaking" (before it became a meme, she said it herself) and comforting her friends that trump was going to effectively kill

Good memory that one, hilarious 'twas

>>81700044
Oldham

29,600 women meet my criteria across the entirety of the country. I don't know if this feels like a huge number or a tiny number.

Either way I know I haven't got one of them to myself.

>>81700439
Why project your fetish on to HHL lad, you're anonymous here just go for it.

Bloody hell I hope that AI joke post didnt get that lad banned. I thought it was funny to be honest.

Tell you what de lads, people say me life in this care home is an affront to me wignity, sitting here in me whiffy nappies. But guess what? I'm laughing at de lads grafting, clocking in jobs they hate, proper mugs. Yes, I stink like a rotten onion and me pride is out the winda, but who's watching the welly all day with nee boss? De lads know it's me. Olumedie even brings me cups of tea and me dinner on me spacker tray while I sit here like a proper KING BABY oh aye. :3

>>81700470
We're into the 7th month of the year now, how many woman have you approached so far this year?

Also that wasnt me by the way kek

Rally hate cunts who spend half an hour on a jet wash

>>81700470
There's maybe 48 in your town.

>>81699895
This lad knows the score about the best city in the UK

Nappymong melty hour

>>81700498
That's rich coming from people who drift around corners in mud

>>81700493
In person like three, but I'm regularly trying to match with women on apps. Have had zero success so far unfortunately.

Wonder how life is different now from 2016 for Ruthlad

>>81700470
and 0 will choose a you

>>81700470
Would a woman like that really be interested in you though? No offence but it feels like women like that are probably pretty sought after. Also politically right wing women probably want a strong and financially successful man, no?

>>81700527
>FUKKEN PAKIS!!

>>81700527
comical how he's always the ugliest fucker in the pictures

Ta HelperLad tar eis na cluidini a bhreanadh

>>81700133
one that annoys me as a zoomer is the ''le summer of 2016 was the best EVER'' and I see this all over and I had a miserable summer posting on britfeel from my boxroom as I had done for years prior.

>>81700564
Native Irish speaker, or Google Translate?

Post-400 anxiety really hitting me right now. New thread please right now.

>>81700600
Google translate sadly. Would love to be able to speak it.

>>81700133
I don't miss any particular year. It's all the same blurred apathetic slog for me

>>81700532
I'm a mostly average guy and I meet all the male-female equivalents that I specified in my search. I go to the gym, I'm 5'10", I have an okay job, I can cook, I don't live in filth etc. beyond that I don't even want a RW gf (arguably such things don't even exist), I just want a gf that isn't a raging progressive weirdo.

Surely this is not too much to ask.

>>81700635
If a girl likes and respects you, she'll mold herself to your ideas and desires anyway. They all do.

>>81700511
I've never drifted around a corner in mud in my life

>>81700635
>Surely that is not too much to ask.

I dunno lad. Have your previous girlfriends met all of those criteria?

>>81700623
>Would love to be able to speak it.
Wouldn't we all

>>81700598
I enjoyed being on the computer on my boxroom way more in 2016, I was still young and had loads of friends online and we'd game all day and all night. Was amazing. Nowadays it's all shite and nothing is fun anymore

>>81700635
>I just want a gf that isn't a raging progressive weirdo.
never going to happen now lad you were born to late

>>81700649
>Rally hate cunts
:)

Did you mean like half an hour at a garage or one of your neighbours being loud and annoying with a piss poor Karcher?

>>81700653
I've had two previous gfs a number of years ago, not had one for five years now. Both did meet those criteria (excluding the age, but the range was analogous).

>>81700470
tfw the gf meets this criteria

>>81700666
Something is obviously going wrong if you're single for 5 years.

Carlisle edition for post 400 anxiety lad

>>81700677

>>81700677

>>81700677

>>81700677

belated reply
>>81694008
true, true, but at the time of image creation, crossy's post was the last post, dangling in the previous thread as it withered and died of bump limit and threads about >tfw no gf.

just thought it was fascinating, if you will.

>>81700748
same. thank you, David Firth.

what's some good comfy (as opposed to creepy) ambient music?

i know there's Brian Eno:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Tqy6be0Juc
(like a warm hug, this)

moar?