hey anon, are you feeling alright? we can talk about it if you're not! how's the weekend going? have you had something nice to eat recently?

>>82063697 (OP)
>hey anon, are you feeling alright?
Meh
>we can talk about it if you're not!
I'd have to start from the top and covers years of lore
how's the weekend going?
Good, just got off vacation, feeling fairly refreshed and going into work in an hour, the weather has finally cooled down here so I won't be dying at work
>have you had something nice to eat recently?
Yeah, a snack wrap from a gas station

How about you? how you holding up anon?

>>82063697 (OP)
If i met you irl i would kiss you for an hour youre so sweet youre qutie im obsessed with you

>>82063697 (OP)
hello anon
you're always so nice I hope you're well
how is your weekend going?
oh and the girl you post is very cute

>>82063727
>I'd have to start from the top and covers years of lore
im more than happy to read your lore anon
>just got off vacation
did you go somewhere nice? how was it? and have a nice day at work!
>snack wrap
humu thats nice. u guys a lot of unique fast food items in the us (im assuming you're from there) here its just the same old burgers. or maybe i miss every promotional item cause i never go to mcdonalds.
>How about you? how you holding up anon?
i think im okay. yesterday was a bit rough but i got through it. i trying my best to not think about bad things because the second i let myself go i start spiralling...
>>82063740
well uhm thank you anone, im flattered. though i might get scared if someone kisses me out of nowhere
>>82063762
hi! thanks for the kind words. my weekend is going okayish. haven't done much, i wish i had something to do. or someone to go out with.
what about you?
>oh and the girl you post is very cute
this is very true!

the weekend is the worst part of the week for me

>>82063914
>im more than happy to read your lore anon
It'd be alot of writing which can be summed up as; I'm still in love with my ex, even though it's been years, and she's been with the same guy for years, and in my efforts to make her cheat and cuck the guy, I accidentally became very close friends with the guy I was trying to cuck, and my best friend only dates people I used to be interested in, literally everyone he's ever dated was someone I tried and failed with first, doesn't help that I'm a virgin, and he's fucked everyone I've been into except the one I was REALLY into and am still not over
>did you go somewhere nice? how was it?
Yeah! went to a nice costal vacation home, not usually my sort of thing but it was a family trip
>(im assuming you're from there
Yeah, we do have alot of weird stuff, sheetz is the biggest example, gas station/food place, you can customize whatever you get basically, and I make those minimum wage workers assemble some monstrosities in there kekw
>i think im okay. yesterday was a bit rough but i got through it. i trying my best to not think about bad things because the second i let myself go i start spiralling...
Yeah, I find it easier to just ignore the bad until I'm in a good and clear headspace to actually work through it and compartmentalize it all, if you try to worry about it when you're still in it it's like trying to call your friend to tell him about a fight you got in, while you're currently being curbstomped yknow? keep it pushing, good times come, I've been hella low before, and the circumstances didn't change, I just got better at handling them, and stopped being a hateful and spiteful person

>>82063697 (OP)
i have spent 2 hours screwing around with minecraft code and photoshop trying to get my mod to work, other than that its been fine. i ate a bowl of miso, i dont intend to eat again today

>>82063697 (OP)
Been better. I just made a PR to fix a broken piece of infra that my fren fucked up.
My head hurts and I am hungover.

>>82064385
>can be summed up as
well thats uhm, a rather unique situation you're in anon. i dont really know what to say other than... good luck? if i was you i'd just get out of this entire ordeal asap but i guess its not something easy to do
>went to a nice costal vacation home
awesome the sea can be nice sometimes! what was your favourite thing about the trip?
>and I make those minimum wage workers assemble some monstrosities
those poor souls... the stuff they have to go through. whats the weirdest food you've seen being sold?
>while you're currently being curbstomped yknow?
yeah i get what you mean. sometimes it feels like the curbstomping goes on forever though.
>I just got better at handling them, and stopped being a hateful and spiteful person
thats great anon, good job! its not something everyone can do. learning from mistakes and painful experiences is the best one can do.
>>82064693
what mod is it? miso is great! did you put some meat in it too? but dont skip meals anon, try to make yourself at least a sandwich!
>>82064742
>made a PR to fix a broken piece of infra
uh, whats that? also, drink a lot of water so all the alcohol gets kicked out of your veins. no more headache if you do!

>>82064791
PR = pull request
Infra = infrastructure
I submitted a request to change the codebase for a project I work on.
I drank a lot of water already and took some aspirin. I'm just tired now desu.
How is your Sunday going desu?

>>82063697 (OP)
Are you the chefanon from the take it easy bread?

>>82064791
>what mod is it?
its my own, im reworking travel gear for amplified worlds so its easier to get around without an elytra, and also make gear progression more fun and satisfying
>miso is great! did you put some meat in it too?
i just put dried tofu, seaweed, and green onion in it. ive never really put meat in it before
>but dont skip meals anon, try to make yourself at least a sandwich!
no appetite anymore. ill have a can of coke before i go to sleep

>>82064286
its that way for me too
>>82064834
>I submitted a request to change the codebase for a project I work on
humu, i see... *nods cluelessly
whats this project about?
>I drank a lot of water already and took some aspirin
thats good then. perhaps u can go for a nap too later!
>How is your Sunday going desu?
its meh. lonely and sad like many others. im playing some guitar now so that keeps me distracted at least. working on learning some difficult chords i've been procrastinating on for months...
>>82064862
i mean i'm no chef (yet) but, yes it's me hi.
>>82064872
>im reworking travel gear for amplified worlds
hm, what did you come up with? honestly when i play minecraft i can never be bothered traveling too far cause i dont wanna waste time having to go back home so, i think they should implement some kind of teleport in the base game
>tofu, seaweed, and green onion in it.
that sounds pretty good, but you also need some meat anon, its very nutritious! perhaps chicken could fit well in the mix
>ill have a can of coke
isn't that gonna keep you awake though?

>>82063697 (OP)
>hey anon, are you feeling alright?
Not bad. On some benzos rn so chill.
>we can talk about it if you're not!
I need to abstain from substances for a couple of weeks until drugs start to work on me again. I'm not addicted (no withdrawals), it's hard cause I'm just bored (thus posting on here)
>how's the weekend going?
Pretty chill. Sipping juice and listening to podcasts.
> have you had something nice to eat recently?
A bacon pizza for breakfast. I only eat once a day but it was good.

>>82065049
>what did you come up with
mainly tiered upgradable grappling hooks and pulleys to make scaling the amplified terrain quicker and easier.
>honestly when i play minecraft i can never be bothered traveling too far cause i dont wanna waste time having to go back home
i fixed that with an item that works like the magic mirror in terraria and turning on keep inventory serverwide.
>that sounds pretty good, but you also need some meat anon, its very nutritious! perhaps chicken could fit well in the mix
itd prob be good, ya. but i like miso cus its the easiest thing i can make and its really light, so easy to get down when i have no desire to eat
>isn't that gonna keep you awake though?
nothing 150mg of benedryl and melatonin cant fix

>>82065063
>Not bad. On some benzos rn so chill.
do you need a prescription for those?
>need to abstain from substances for a couple of weeks
you can do it anon! keep urself busy with something and time will pass fast. you can talk about whatever you want in my threads too, i make them quite often. whats the last song you listened to?
>Sipping juice
niceu juice is the best type of liquid. whats ur favourite? and whats the podcast about? i used to listen to one years ago but now i cant anymore cause they kinda made me sad
>A bacon pizza
well that's a hearty breakfast...
>>82065157
>grappling hooks
woa grappling hooks would be cool as hell honestly. great idea! do they work like those in terraria or can you swing?
>item that works like the magic mirror
having that in minecraft would improve my enjoyment by tenfold yeah
>its the easiest thing i can make and its really light
humu, thats understandable. honestly its good that you're able to eat something at all so, good work. i know it can get difficult to find the will to eat even just a piece of bread sometimes.
>nothing 150mg of benedryl and melatonin cant fix
...dont rely on them too muc anon

>>82065506
>do they work like those in terraria or can you swing?
right now they work similar to a basic terraria hook, tho i do want the higher tier hooks to have toggleable modes like swinging, or to be able to shoot multiple hooks like in terraria.
>having that in minecraft would improve my enjoyment by tenfold yeah
ya, lots of small things to fix with the vanilla game
>good work. i know it can get difficult to find the will to eat even just a piece of bread sometimes.
ty, yes you understand. eating is hard. sometimes i even find it painful.
>dont rely on them too muc anon
if they stop working ill just drink to sleep

>>82065506
>do you need a prescription for those?
Yes, I get them for anxiety
>you can do it anon! keep urself busy with something and time will pass fast
Thanks. My discipline is good enough, just sux I can't indulge or risk addiction+spend too much money. But I had a good session couple of days ago so that's nice.
>whats the last song you listened to?
I just can't wait to be king from Lion King hehe. I like disney songs.
>juice is the best type of liquid. whats ur favourite?
Lingonberry juice hehe
>whats the podcast about?
Just two guys shoot the shit about teir lifes and current events.
>well that's a hearty breakfast
It's personal size and my only meal of the day and is pretty cheap.

>>82065732
>or to be able to shoot multiple hooks
oh that would be even better. i feel like working out the physics to make someone swing on a hook might be hard though no? (i have no knowledge in coding at all)
>lots of small things to fix with the vanilla game
deleting phantoms would be a huge step forward imo
>eating is hard. sometimes i even find it painful.
hmm, hopefully it won't be that way forever anon. keep on keeping on!
>ill just drink to sleep
well now i dont know which one is worse. dont hurt yourself too much okay anon?
>>82065763
>Yes, I get them for anxiety
i would love to have some. (not implying you should ship me a box) ((maybe i am))
>risk addiction+spend too much money
then you could promise to buy something nice to yourself after the 2 weeks as a reward! with the money you saved
>I just can't wait to be king
heheh i loved that movie as a kid. i remember watching it with my mom often and covering my eyes everytime mufasa died because it was scary... my fav song by disney is I'll Make a Man Out of You from Mulan. always gives me a little boost in motivation!
>Lingonberry juice
huh, i didnt even know that existed. how does it taste?
>Just two guys shoot the shit about teir lifes and current events.
humu. the one i watched was basically a few guys talking about anime and making dumb jokes. was funny but after a while it felt lonely listening to others have fun.
>only meal of the day
are you following some diet that doesnt let you eat lunch and dinner or?

>>82063697 (OP)
Had breakfast, deciding to finish up my Ki-84 model today maybe get my Zero done too if I am lucky

>>82066011
>i feel like working out the physics to make someone swing on a hook might be hard though no?
much of the work was already done for me, so it isnt too bad. mojang made a grappling hook item (the lash) for an april fools snapshot that never saw the light of day again
>deleting phantoms would be a huge step forward imo
phantom spawns are now a gamerule fortunately, so you can disable them at your leisure with /gamerule doinsomnia false
>hmm, hopefully it won't be that way forever anon. keep on keeping on!
hopefully, ty
>well now i dont know which one is worse. dont hurt yourself too much okay anon?
ill try

>>82066011
>i would love to have some
They're pretty easy to get, just ask your doctor/psychiatrist and say you have trouble sleeping/anxiety.
>(not implying you should ship me a box) ((maybe i am))
No. They're all MINE. Maybe one or two if we knew eachother
>then you could promise to buy something nice to yourself after the 2 weeks as a reward! with the money you saved
The reward is more deugs lol I don't want anything special really
>my fav song by disney is I'll Make a Man Out of You from Mulan
It's on my playlist hehe
>how does it taste?
Umm. Like a berry, I suppose
>felt lonely listening to others have fun.
I have it on the backcround while on 4chan so I'm not that invested
>are you following some diet
Not really, it's just that one meal is all I need and it's easy on the wallet.

Also, good on you for making this thread. Must be hard keeping up with all the anons.

>hey anon, are you feeling alright?
Not good. It was more or less fine yesterday but today im in a sorta death type mood.
>have you had something nice to eat recently?
small amount of some Schnitzel or something idk. Actually starving myself over here and no matter what i can't gain weight. But it also brings me some sort of comfort. If i get tired of all of this i can just use this power to waste away in a corner without actively doing anything. Brings some sort of control into my life i like to think.
>how's the weekend going?
I don't know. I brought a little order into my room got into an argument over furniture but that's about it. Also it seems like you can supercharge ritalin with coffee. Have to keep your heart in check but for me at least it brought back a little of that first time wonder.

>>82065049
>what's this project about
Malware
>lonely and sad like many others
Sorry to hear that, virtual hugs for you desu.

>>82066060
thats a cool looking plane. is the zero another plane? sigh i wish i had money for warship models.
>>82066238
>for an april fools snapshot
god forbid they actually add anything good to the game amirite
>you can disable them
oh, good to know! my solution was surrounding myself with cats and it worked pretty well
>ill try
hm hm, i trust you!
>>82066366
>just ask your doctor/psychiatrist
i fear it's not that easy in yurop. besides i dont actually wanna use drugs. (yet)
>They're all MINE
rude :c
>The reward is more deugs lol
well nevermind i guess... uhmm you could get a nice flower pot to put in your room perhaps?
>Umm. Like a berry, I suppose
you're not gonna believe it, but i did guess that. im really smart i know. i also really like berries.
>I have it on the backcround
background noise is nice. i always have music on and sometimes it completely fades out of my brain that im listening to it, and after a while when it comes back i think "wait i was listening to music?"
>it's just that one meal is all I need
i am fussy about nutrition so i will say no, its not. but okay i get i also dont eat enough so i dont have the right to tell you not to
>Must be hard keeping up with all the anons.
naw i enjoy talking with them! it keeps bad thoughts away.
>>82066369
>im in a sorta death type mood.
sorry to hear that anon. hope it passes soon. did something happen or is it just how you feel?
>Schnitzel
i love those!
>to waste away in a corner without actively doing anything
ive fantasized about doing that quite a lot of times so yeah, i understand why it would give you comfort. though please try your best not to do it okay?
>Also it seems like you can supercharge ritalin with coffee.
that kinda seems unhealthy. and a bit dangerous. dont overdo it anon, and keep in mind that its okay to just be miserable for a while sometimes. dont beat yourself up if you do nothing for a day or two.
>>82066392
>Malware
thats not very nice... but thanks for the hugs desu

>>82066743
>god forbid they actually add anything good to the game amirite
are you not satisfied with your bi-annual content drops of (1x) cute forgettable and mostly useless mob with a few decor blocks?
>oh, good to know! my solution was surrounding myself with cats and it worked pretty well
huh, didnt know cats scared them off. thats cool. hope the gamerule tip makes your game more fun

>>82066743
>i fear it's not that easy in yurop
It's plentiful here cus of war giving ppl anxiety
>besides i dont actually wanna use drugs
It's good if you can manage your shit. And I'm taking medical doses (as opposed to recrational doses)
>rude :c
Sorry, but it's true.
>well nevermind i guess
It's a good reward for cleaning my apt or doing some studying or socializing.
>im really smart i know
You look it
>sometimes it completely fades out of my brain that im listening to it
I listen with half an ear
>i am fussy about nutrition so i will say no, its not
Can you explain?
>naw i enjoy talking with them! it keeps bad thoughts away.
That's a nice way to do it

>>82066743
>thats a cool looking plane. is the zero another plane? sigh i wish i had money for warship models.
I have 9 model plane kits. two are a work in progress. (Ki-84 and A6m5c) And the Zero is another name for the "Zeke"/A6m.
I wanna build a U-boat. I didnt really enjoy building the Nagato BB since there was so many small parts. The pros were the fact the ship was already painted, you just needed to put it together.

>>82066743
>did something happen or is it just how you feel?
I don't know why its the way it is right now. Maybe im just remembering what my situation is and its driving me down this way? Dunno.
Maybe some media about death made me envious? Dunno.
I'll continue cleaning up tomorrow and maybe order some filters and sensor parts to make sure im not killing myself by inhaling fumes from one of my hobbies. Respiratory complications don't seem that much better than starving to death after all.
Maybe having something to do will stop this. But at the same time i feel like im paralyzed to do anything so i don't know if i will even do that.
>i understand why it would give you comfort
Its not about giving me comfort but about avoiding the displeasure of eating. Even if things are bad however i start eating at latest when i feel like my legs are folding and im feeling tremors.
>though please try your best not to do it okay?
This seems like an insanely bad way to go. Even if were extremely desperate i don't think that this would be it. What i meant was more like knowing that my bodies subconscious defense against times that are too much is just to stop working. But its not doing that so i am here standing on my own legs because i chose to. Its a sign of strength. Thanks for the concern however. I hope you are doing well also.
TL;DR Im not actively killing myself nor am i attempting to.

>that kinda seems unhealthy. and a bit dangerous.
Its not that dangerous. At most like drinking a coffee and going for a jog. I forgot to measure my heart rate and pressure but i didn't feel any different than without coffee when it comes to that. As on the psychological side its like a small boost to concentration and a moderate one to the rebound once the drugs stop working. I think its worth however.
>dont beat yourself up if you do nothing for a day or two.
I was doing nothing and felt this way more often than not for my entire life. I think im dealing with it as best as possible.

>>82066865
>are you not satisfied
no!!!! sigh. it is what it is i guess. thank god mods exist anyway. have you played terraria much?
>cats scared them off
yeah they hiss at them and it scares them away! its quite loud though and it triggers with each singular panthom so it ends up being rather annoying after a while
>>82067034
>cus of war giving ppl anxiety
oh, well that's awful. stay safe anon
>It's a good reward
hm, i guess if it works for you then its fine. i just always have this fear i'll get addicted to drugs and ruin my life
>You look it
you dont gotta lie to make me feel better about myself yknow?
>Can you explain?
i mean, your body needs more energy than just breakfast. even if your breakfast is not the average one, it doesnt provide enough energy to the body to last until the end of the day. your body burns about 1,300 to 2,000 calories daily just to maintain basic functions like breathing and circulation, even when at rest! and i doubt you just lay in bed for 24 hours a day. so if you dont get enough energy from food, your body is gonna start taking it from your muscles, and then your fat and its gonna make u feel all weak and bad
>>82067220
>build a U-boat
im a huge fan of those. if you end up building one please share! which one were you thinking? the U-48 is a pretty iconic one.
>so many small parts
i dont think i'd have to patience to build a model like that desu
>>82067263
>Dunno
hm, i see. it's fine, sometimes bad episodes start for seemingly no reason, often it happens to me. keeping yourself busy does help a lot i think, even if its sooo hard to do anything. you can get through this!
>i start eating at latest when i feel like my legs
better than never i guess...
>I hope you are doing well
thank you. im a bit unstable but im trying!
>its like a small boost to concentration
hm, i see. then i see no problem if you think its safe
>more often than not for my entire life
i see. i have been that way too. you're doing your best and thats great!

>>82067612
>im a huge fan of those. if you end up building one please share! which one were you thinking? the U-48 is a pretty iconic one.
They have the 1/48 scale u-552 at my hobby store but thats way too big for me let alone expensive too. Maybe something around 1/144.
>i dont think i'd have to patience to build a model like that desu
it took me a month but it was worth it.I am having more fun and its more timely to build my planes than tanks which I find interesting.

>>82067612
>have you played terraria much?
yes, i have played it off and on since 2013. its why im even bothering modding mc, i want something close to it in 3d

>>82067612
>oh, well that's awful. stay safe anon
It's all good! It is what it is. I am relatively safe where I am.
> i just always have this fear i'll get addicted to drugs and ruin my life
Moderation is key in all things. Also depends on the drug and predisposition to addiction (which I don't have, I think) also I keep my sessions limited in time and to times when I don't have anything to do or people to meet. It's worth it for me and my lifestyle. I learned about addiction from smoking cigs and decided to never let a drug control me again. In the end abstinatinence is the best harm-reduction for sure.
>you dont gotta lie
I almost never lie. It takes resources to keep up with many anons.
>your body is gonna start taking it from your muscles, and then your fat
I have been malnourished in the past and on a healthy wight now (also bloodworks came in good), but you might be right. I'll see if I can sneak in some snacks throughout the day.

>>82067704
>u-552
thats also a really cool one. i've seen one submarine irl and man they're cool
>it took me a month but it was worth it
oh wow that long? must've been a pain to do. but at least you got bragging rights now! have fun building your planes anon
>>82067865
>yes, i have played it off and on since 2013
have you finished calamity mod?
>its why im even bothering modding mc
humu i see. i think mc could benefit from a looot of things from terraria. are you planning to add bosses too in the future?
>>82068051
>I am relatively safe where I am.
alright, im glad to hear!
>predisposition to addiction
hm yeah i guess that makes sense. i've never smoked or drank (a lot) but i think i have a high predisposition to getting addicted to things. i only drink beer like 2 times a month (sometimes even none) but i still get the urge to get drunk (even though i never got drunk just tipsy) but it could just be my body begging for something to stop my mental anguish.
>and decided to never let a drug control me again
thats great anon! good job on getting over smoking. you're really strong!
>It takes resources to keep up with many anons
well, i guess im a bit awesome sometimes.
>I have been malnourished in the past and on a healthy wight now
humu i see, then all the more reasons to take some more care about your diet. its crazy how much it can impact your life really, having a good diet changes so many things. please do try to eat a bit more! you got this.

>>82063697 (OP)
I've been harassed for 2 weeks by someone who is in my group of friends, he makes bad comments about me and now he's insulting me, I'm just ignoring him, but waking up even on my birthday and the first thing I see are several hate messages like that to me, it's not very nice, I think I've had 2 anxiety attacks this week and I don't want to talk to my friends because I think they won't give it much importance

>>82068258
>i think i have a high predisposition to getting addicted
Yeah, as I said, then; abstinance is the best answer; addiction has a tendency to creep up on you. I throw up from alchohol once and never touched it again unless it's an interesting beer (or very good rum hehe).
>but it could just be my body begging for something to stop my mental anguish.
Sorry you feel that way. There are a lot of viable copes. I like reading books to pass the time sometimes. Mental health is super important. I don't know what you're dealing with but looking for help can save you from pitfalls. Getting a psyciatrist was one of the best decisions I made.
>thats great anon! good job on getting over smoking. you're really strong
T_T I should have phrased that better. I still consume nicotine via vape. It's immensely better then cigs but nic is my prison. No *other* drug will control me again, hehe.
>having a good diet changes so many things
I know. I'll try to do better, thanks.

>>82068258
Progress on the Ki-84