Thread 82225123

how are you anon? everything's so difficult, but we need to keep trying! have you played anything cool recently?

>>82225123 (OP)
Hey, anon.
>how are you anon?
Maxxed out my credit card so can't order food *sadface*. My mom covered for me for today and tomorrow I'm getting frozen foods to make at home.
>everything's so difficult, but we need to keep trying!
True, but there's always hope if you have the will. Sorry things are difficult for you, anon. Want to talk about it?
>have you played anything cool recently?
I haven't played anything for a while and read books insted, but have a Witcher 3 playthtough to come back to.

>>82225123 (OP)
Dark souls 2 is alright but the fact you can't just run past enemies is annoying

>>82225123 (OP)
No. Ive been playing destiny 2. Im bored of it and the PvP sucks. I wish this board had more gamers. /v/ has too many weirdos and single player autists for my taste.

>>82225387
>so can't order food *sadface*
aw thats too bad. what kind of food did you usually order?
>frozen foods
try not to become too dependant on stuff like that, it's really unhealthy if it's super processed food and you eat it often
>Sorry things are difficult for you, anon
thanks, this too shall pass i hope. i wish things went my way at least once in a while.
>and read books insted
honestly that's better. what have you been reading?
>>82225400
there's an infinite amount of annoying things in souls games if you ask me
>>82225465
>Ive been playing destiny 2
a fate i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy... honestly can't understand why anyone still plays that other than because they're addicted and can't stop. it's such garbage now. god I miss destiny 1
>I wish this board had more gamers
i think if you make a thread asking about anon's favourite games and whatnot, you'll get a decent amount of replies. perhaps someone that will play with you too if thats what you're looking for.

>>82225123 (OP)
i have been playing umineko. i made it to episode 2 and i remain unconvinced the witch is doing the murders, its a fun distraction from everything else

>>82225725
>what kind of food did you usually order?
I order a bacon pizza when I wake up.
>try not to become too dependant on stuff like that
I don't have the energy to cook proper. I'll just wait till my credit card frees up.
> wish things went my way at least once in a while
I'm sure things will turn around. Hang in there!
>what have you been reading?
Just finished The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books and now reading Nuromancer by William Gibson. It's a good cyberpunk novel. After that I've got Discworld novels to read.

>>82225123 (OP)
>how are you anon? everything's so difficult
I feel pressured. Something annoying will happen in the next couple of hours but i really don't want to deal with it.
>but we need to keep trying!
True true. I didn't try for a while but maybe now? Yeah I'll try. Try before that annoying thing comes to bite me.
>have you played anything cool recently?
I have played some vidya today and in the last couple of days but vidya is not really cool imo.

Also my 'f' key is not working now, yippie!
Things don't always go your way but maybe, some day, will! Goes or for you to OP and everybody else ITT.

>>82225825
>umineko
seems like an interesting visual novel. how do you like it so far?
>>82225828
>I order a bacon pizza when I wake up.
man i wish i could do that.
>I don't have the energy to cook proper
ah i see. do you have a favourite dish? perhaps you could try making that sometime.
>I'm sure things will turn around
im not so sure but, what else can i do other than endure anyways.
>The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
oh there's a movie from that book too right? have you seen it?
>Nuromancer
seems cool, i do like stories set in a dystopian future. almost make me want to live long enough to see one... i should really get some new books to read myself. i want to read the epic of gilgamesh though i can't find it anywhere and i dont really wanna buy it online.
>>82226102
cute picrel!
>Something annoying will happen in the next couple of hours
hm and whats that? it's okay if you prefer not to talk about it though.
>I didn't try for a while
i think it's okay to not try sometimes. i think letting yourself kinda wallow in misery every once in a while is needed. or maybe im just coping
>but vidya is not really cool imo
whats something you find really cool anon?
>Also my 'f' key is not working now
press F to- oh nevermind.
>but maybe, some day, will
i'd be happy if they did even once honestly.

>>82226287
>cute picrel!
If things go my way I'll also be able to draw cute stuff. Till then...
>hm and whats that?
applying for the slavery gig. Already complained about it in another thread but i didn't actually apply on the weekend.
Now im out of excuses sadly. I really don't wanna.
>whats something you find really cool anon?
*really* cool would be my cats but otherwise 'really', dunno. A couple of things. Too loose to put into words.
>press F to- oh nevermind.
Now it does. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffffffffffff
Does that sometimes. Dunno why this keyboard is like this.
>i'd be happy if they did even once honestly.
kekeke you are not alone with that thought.
Maybe, some day, if something big happens, it will. Till then all we can seethe in a sad tone while things continue not to go as planned.

>>82226287
>man i wish i could do that
Well, you could do that.
>do you have a favourite dish?
I make white sauce pasta with musrooms and it's very good.
>im not so sure but, what else can i do other than endure anyways
Where there's a will, there's a way, but idk what you're dealing with. Goodluck.
>have you seen it?
I did. The books were better imo. There are also the original radio skits I heard were really good but yet to listen to.
>i do like stories set in a dystopian future
It's a cyberpunk classic. You can see how it inspired the ganere.
>i should really get some new books to read myself
Yeah, reading a book can pass the time nicely.
>i want to read the epic of gilgamesh
I never read it but I do better with more modern books anyway.

>>82226482
>If things go my way
then i hope they do! the whole world will benefit from more cute drawings.
>applying for the slavery gig
oh, that. you can do it anon! you got nothing to lose. besides, if it gets too bad you can quit, and it's not like you're going to have to do this job forever. i believe in you! go go!
>my cats
i'd define cats as cute more than cool personally. what makes your cats so cool hmmm?
>Too loose to put into words
are they an object? an idea? a thought? a creature? a state of being?
>Dunno why this keyboard is like this.
perhaps your keyboard is just very evil anon. have you considered changing it?
>things continue not to go as planned
maybe i should start planning things the opposite way. then they will not go to plan but in reality that was still part of my plan so that they do go my way. but wait, if this is all part of a bigger plan doesn't that mean that the bigger plan is going to fail anyways? this is getting too confusing.
>>82226537
>you could do that
i dont have the finances to support this diet and neither the stomach sadly.
>white sauce pasta with musrooms
im not a fan of mushrooms by themselves but honestly they're not too bad in pasta. what's the white sauce made of?
>but idk what you're dealing with
it's something or rather, someone out of my control. and i guess you could say that since it's that way i shouldn't worry about it but, i cant help but worry. it is what it is.
>The books were better imo
that's often the case with a lot of media based of books/manga/comics. there's only so much you can fit in a movie, and a lot of things get cut or are rushed. it's a reason why i dont really like movies and prefer series n such.
>You can see how it inspired the ganere.
speaking of cyberpunk, have you ever played 2077?
>can pass the time nicely
do you ever go reading outside?
>modern books
that's fair. most of the stuff i read excluding mangas is at least a few millenias old... i do like history.

>>82225123 (OP)
what happened last thread? you left a very concerning message late into the night then left and i've been wondering since then just what could have happened. i see that you are at the very least alive and willing to continue your tradition so i'm more relieved but i'd still like to know what troubled you, if i may

>>82226716
>you got nothing to lose
Kinda do. My time and peace. Even if i don't do much with it I'd much rather have those two things than not.
>i'd define cats as cute more than cool personally
exact words do not matter but i do love 'em. Really nice little rascals.
>what makes your cats so cool hmmm?
1. they're cats, duh
2. they just are.
Slept really well last time and one of my cats sleeping next to me was no coincidence. They help when one of them is not tickling or prickling me to get attention.
>are they an object? an idea? a thought? a creature? a state of being?
Just a lot of unrelated things i like. Too many too list and too autistic and specific to get into depth.
Tbh some vida is cool. I like being annoying and calling people that complain gay in battlefield 4. But its not really cool because i could be doing better things instead. Like doodling and making things to my way instead of doing nothing basically?
>have you considered changing it?
Changed it once but came back. "F" might be a little diva but the rest is nice.
>this is getting too confusing.
- and - are +
Even the best math nerds forget that, its alright.

Been queuing in a bf4 server btw since writing this post. Was in 14th place, now its 13th. Might take a while.

>>82227050
Sometimes inconvenient things happen without warning and reactions like this happen too but im seconding this too, if i may.

>>82226716
>i dont have the finances to support this diet
It's pretty cheap here. About 17$ and that is all I eats for the day.
>im not a fan of mushrooms by themselves but honestly they're not too bad in pasta
I also add chopped chicken breast sometimes.
>what's the white sauce made of?
Cooking cream, a bit of flour for viscosity and salt and pepper, sometimes curry.
>i cant help but worry
I get it. Sometimes it be like that. Is that someone on a wrong path or having issues you can't help them with? I don't mean to pry.
>that's often the case with a lot of media based of books/manga/comics
The imagination is always better at creating the worlds in books then media adaptations. Though sometimes it's nice to see a world you've read about come to life on the screen; like Harry Potter for example.
>have you ever played 2077?
I did on release and it was fine (7/10) I heard they went back and fixed and improved the game but have no will to replay it anytime soon. I chose to keep my body at the end. In Nuromancer there's actually a place called Night City, and have Japanese influence everywhere like in 2077.
>do you ever go reading outside?
I live in a city and don't have good places to read in. There's a small dog park and no library or a nice tree to lean on. Though I like to read inside.
>stuff i read excluding mangas
I like manga also! What mangas are your favorite?
>i do like history
I can see that. History is cool. Old lit is hard for me to parse; I was having a hard time reading poe, and was a failure at reading the Talmud (tho, that requires learning Aramaic, which I was avg at).

>>82227050
sorry if i made you worry anon. i got really hurt (emotionally) and i lost the will to do anything. i got overwhelmed by bad feelings and couldn't think of anything other than death for the whole weekend. im doing better now but every time im not distracted by something things get really bad. thanks for asking though, knowing some anons care about me helps a lot! it really really does. but i dont want to talk about myself! how are you anon? what did you do this weekend?
>>82227166
>My time and peace
though they're not going to be gone forever, just as long as you're doing that job. they'll be back eventually. i get it though, getting out of your shell is easier said than done.
>i do love 'em
do you have a favourite breed/colour?
>one of my cats sleeping next to me was no coincidence
thats always really cute when it happens. i'd let my cat sleep next to me more often if it wasn't so damn hot..
>i could be doing better things instead
thats kind of how i feel all the time whenever i do anything. i always think i could be doing something more productive or better and in thinking this way prevents me from actually enjoying things. i think it's fine to "waste" time doing useless stuff every once in a while anon.
>in a bf4 server
didnt think that game was still alive desu. i havent played any battlefield game other than 1, mostly because i like history and historically accurate games interest me. have you ever played it?
>>82227334
>About 17$
that is... outrageously expensive for a singular pizza...
>I also add chopped chicken breast
hm seems tasty. the sauce too. ill look up the recipe and try to make it myself one of these days.
>having issues you can't help them with?
yeah... something like that. i dont really wanna talk about it honestly. i wish i could forget about the entire situation instead
>there's actually a place called Night City
huh interesting. you think it might've inspired 2077? i really liked the game too. they fixed a lot of things now

cont.

>>82227334
>don't have good places to read in
ah that sucks. not even a book shop or perhaps a quite cafe or something like that? though it makes sense if you dont really like those places, i myself prefer to read in nature if i can.
>What mangas are your favorite?
hmm i like call of the night, gabriel dropout, new game, bocchi the rock, berserk, vagabond... i haven't read many honestly. do you have any recommendations? which ones do you like?
>Old lit is hard
it's a reason why i like it so much. i guess a lot of the things might be left to interpretation if you cant understand them or you could try to guess what an ancient person was thinking when they wrote it...

>>82226287
>seems like an interesting visual novel. how do you like it so far?
its very good so far. a friend recommended it and im thankful, the mystery is very captivating, if you know higurashi its like that, same "universe" ig

>>82227725
but why not? don't you ever want to talk about yourself even when prompted to do so? I know you take pride in holding the line for others here but a tree can only give so much fruit before it itself needs to be watered. so then, please, allow yourself more closure. don't be so vague and so quick to turn the tides when others ask about you. let your roots soak in freshwater every once in a while

>>82227725
>getting out of your shell is easier said than done.
don't see how this position will do anything desu. No education, grades, no nothing. Even a job at mac donalds gives you more money and opportunities.
>do you have a favourite breed/colour?
nah all cats are nice. they have that charm regardless of breed.
>it's fine to "waste" time doing useless stuff every once in a while
Its a more often than not case tho :(
Working on it tho.
>didnt think that game was still alive desu
sure is and it feels like a time capsule to the golden days. Picrel is the admin of the server speaking lol.
>mostly because i like history and historically accurate games interest me
Ehh not really accurate imo. Its more just borrowing the aesthetic.
>have you ever played it?
bf4 for meee.I play no other fps shooter.
I think if you have one of the games you also have the other one. Its sorta integrated into the same menu for me and i can browse bf1 servers too. Dunno, never tried joining tho.

>>82227725
>that is... outrageously expensive for a singular pizza...
I missconverted. I mean 8$.
>ill look up the recipe and try to make it myself one of these days
I just improvise and add whatever looks tasty.
>i dont really wanna talk about it honestly
Fair enough.
>you think it might've inspired 2077?
Could have. It's a staple of the ganere.
>they fixed a lot of things now
So I've heard.

>>82227839
>perhaps a quite cafe
There are a tons of cafes around but I can't focus in that environment.
>i myself prefer to read in nature if i can
That is more my pace, but no big parks or unattended nature around here.
>call of the night, gabriel dropout, new game, bocchi the rock, berserk, vagabond
Only heard of berserk and vagabond and planning on reading them.
>do you have any recommendations?
Some Junji Ito (Black Paradox is good, Shiver is classic Ito), delicious in dungeon (comfy), Parasyte (is really good), Hellsing, Tsubasa Chronicle and Chobits and xxxHolic (or anything by CLAMP) and many more, I just don't wanna spam mangas hehe.
>try to guess what an ancient person was thinking when they wrote it
I guess that's a cool mindset.

>>82227725
ah forgot smth.
>i'd let my cat sleep next to me more often if it wasn't so damn hot..
yours straight up cuddles with you?
Mine usually some distance but also sleep on top of me if they feel like it.
>>I think if you have one of the games you also have the other one
no you don't. It asks you to buy it when you try to join. With other bf games it straight up tells you to buy it first. Wonder why that one is different.

or am i confusing bfV with 1 about its historical accuracy?
dunno.

>>82225123 (OP)
I started school again last week.
Good to be back but I don't see many opportunities for my future. Things don't seem much better.

i hate when i carefully type a 4000 characters reply and accidentally press esc and lose everything.

>>82227902
i do like higurashi yeah. i guess ill take a look at umineko too then. wasn't there an anon that posted a "read umineko" thread everyday too?
>>82227903
>but why not?
talking about myself and my own problems would require me to acknowledge them, thus making me feel awful. listening to other anons issues and interests helps me forget about my own problems. besides, i feel like i already talk about myself too much whenever i reply to others. i dont want this thread to turn into a blogpost about me.
>>82228035
>don't see how this position will do anything
it will help you to get used to getting out of your comfort zone. and i guess, more accustomed to suffering too. when i had my job at the wood factory it was awful, but it helped me realize i needed to get my life in check if i didnt want to work terrible jobs for the rest of my life.
>they have that charm regardless of breed
can't argue with that desu
>Its a more often than not case tho
i mean it's the same for me too i get it...
>it feels like a time capsule
kinda like how tf2 is for me then. also based admin lole
>I play no other fps shooter
might be better that way considering how overly competitive every pvp game is getting nowdays. i hate it
>>82228054
>I mean 8$.
then i guess that makes more sense. do you ever get it with some other topping?
>>82228205
>but no big parks or unattended nature around here.
not even in the outskirts of the city? that must suck. i could never life in a big city myself.
>Only heard of berserk and vagabond
i can only urge you to read them asap! they are very very good. i liked berserk more.
>Parasyte
oh i've seen the anime of that. was really good. also junji ito makes very... odd things. i prefer more comfy things though so idk if i'll ever read his stuff. i've heard good things about hellsing too. do you have any of the mangas you listed in physical copies too?

>>82228242
>yours straight up cuddles with you?
yeah she's very affectionate of me. doesn't do it with anyone else heh
>>82228242
>no you don't
well it did seem too good to be true... also about historical accuracy i think bf1 wasn't awfully unrealistic. sure some things are exaggerated but the campaign is based on real events and honestly it's an incredibly immersive game. and i do live immersive games.
>>82228293
good luck at school anone. what are you studying?
>I don't see many opportunities for my future
you and me both anon. though i like to think that if we try we still have that 1% chance our future might be good. if we dont even try then it's a 100% chance it wont (huge copium i know)

>>82228460
>i do like higurashi yeah. i guess ill take a look at umineko too then. wasn't there an anon that posted a "read umineko" thread everyday too?
im not aware of that anon, but i didnt pay any attention to umineko before playing, so ig i wouldnt. its worth trying out, it starts as a very slow burn tho for the first 30 minutes or hour, so you have to push thru it

>>82228460
you are already acknowledging them whether you recognize it or not. the real question is if you want to acknowledge them transformatively or talk about them like voldemort. all in all, you won't change what you already know, the more you run away from them the less you realize their true shape

>>82228460
>do you ever get it with some other topping?
No. I am a person of habbit hehe.
>not even in the outskirts of the city? that must suck
There are big parks with nature in my city, just not close to me, and I won't make the effort to get there just to read.
>i could never life in a big city myself
I could not see myself living anywhere else. I've visited villages and private communes and could not stomach the fact everyone knows everyone; and the quiet is maddaning. I need to hear cars drive by to be able to fall asleep.
>i can only urge you to read them asap! they are very very good
I need money T_T
>do you have any of the mangas you listed in physical copies too?
I only read physical manga. I order hulls from Amazon but lack funds now so no new manga. Still have a pile of manga I've yet to read.
>junji ito makes very... odd things. i prefer more comfy things
He does shock horror manga. Black Paradox is more a super-hero manga rather then horror tho.

>>82225123 (OP)
There is not a single cool thing to play. The future diminishes, the past runs away. Nothing speaketh unto my crude and rusty, jagged and ragged soul.

>>82228582
okay, that anon made me wanna try it anyway so ill probably play it
>>82228662
>if you want to acknowledge them transformatively
how would i do that? besides this specific problem is a bit personal so i don't really want to talk about it on the board. even if it wasn't, i feel like it would defeat the entire purpose of my threads if i just started complaining.
>>82228684
>I am a person of habbit hehe.
same, i always get my pizzas with potators, and i've done with for all my life
>just to read
but it's not *just* to read. you got there to enjoy the nature, to have a nice walk and to relax! reading is just another activity you could do.
>could not stomach the fact everyone knows everyone
why is that? for me that would be the ideal place to live. and the peace and quiet would be even better... i guess it's just because you've lived in a city all your life so changing environment sends your brain in confused mode or something.
>I need money T_T
well... you could always read them for free on the internet!
>I only read physical manga
oh i see! thats cool. i wish could buy more mangas. do you have a bookshelf where you keep all of them? also, you could go to manga shops instead of getting them on amazon. could be a nice excuse to go out.
>>82228689
the future doesnt exist, and neither does the past. the present is the only reality we have to try and focus on, and im sure something does speak into your soul anon, you might just not be able to feel it because of how you feel right now. keep looking for something!

>>82228460
>it will help you to get used to getting out of your comfort zone. and i guess, more accustomed to suffering too
really skeptical desu. Did stuff i never could or liked and still never got used to it.
Im already technically qualified for the job i wanna do but i just gotta wait a little because of how late i am. This what im doing right now just seems like a stressful side-venture. Doesn't really seem worth it.
>might be better that way considering how overly competitive every pvp game is getting nowdays. i hate it
yeah the most you get in that game are bragging rights in chat after you became a menace on a server. You get some really funny reactions regardless of status however.
>yeah she's very affectionate of me. doesn't do it with anyone else heh
Yeah all my cats have a favorite person.
Mine either sleeps next to me or on my shoulder/arm/hand. Another cat will rest its entirety on your chest making it hardish to breathe. So i guess im lucky that that menace usually chooses somebody else.

>>82225123 (OP)
>but we need to keep trying
That's the neat part, you don't
as a ssethfag I did give path of achra a go.

>>82229059
>rest its entirety on your chest
well sometimes. Usually its your pillow that gets stolen and not your air.

>>82229059
>really skeptical desu
i guess it changes from person to person. i just always found exposure therapy to be really effective at least on myself. it takes a long time to get used to "normal" things especially if you've been estranged from society for a long time.
>Doesn't really seem worth it
if you're convinced it's not then just dont, but be sure you're not saying just because you don't feel like doing it. (i do that often)
>You get some really funny reactions regardless of status however.
imo one of the best things about online games is the reactions you get from other players. or just interacting with them too i guess, it's a huge shame that communication in online games is getting so restricted nowdays it just kills the soul of online games completely.
>Another cat will rest its entirety on your chest making it hardish to breathe
heheh thats cute. mine sits on my chest too sometimes, and as much as i'd like dying of cat causes, my survival instincts chime in and move her away. how old are your cats?
>>82229158
>That's the neat part, you don't
then what are we to do?
>I did give path of achra a go.
i like sseth videos a lot, though i genuinely don't understand how he manages to play certain games so much. like some of them seem to appeal to such a niche amount of people...
>>82229175
i keep my pillows well protected from any creature that isnt me!

>>82229318
Some people live from moment to moment without trying or just kill themselves.
>>sseth
The gameplay isn't always portrayed as it seems, at least that's what I experienced from trying some out a bit. It's more as if he's trying to tell a story. I guess he and his merchants guild might have some niche interests in games, might be easier than just being another minecraft youtuber. Any games that stood out to you?

>>82228928
>i always get my pizzas with potators
Like potatos on the pizza? How's that like?
>you got there to enjoy the nature, to have a nice walk and to relax
I like my concrete prison, and public transport gives me anxiety :p
>why is that?
I prefer to blend into a crowd. Unnoticed and not interacted with. It's like having a fresh page always, insted of keeping up appearances with the community; which sounds exhausting and lacking in privacy. Had a taste of that in the military (if you remember that convo)
>and the peace and quiet would be even better
It drove me insane when I visited friends in the country. I NEED noise; a car, a plane, a distent siren, people luaghing going out of a nearby bar.
>i guess it's just because you've lived in a city all your life
You hit the nail on the head. Do you live in the country? Have you tried citylife? Can you navigate cities easily?
>you could always read them for free on the internet
I would never. I like plipping pages and the smell of ink way more than wanting to know what happens next.
>do you have a bookshelf where you keep all of them?
Yes, I have a small bookshelf but they don't all fit so some are in a pile. I'd add a pic of it but it's a mess rn. Not picrel.
>you could go to manga shops instead
Used to have a comic store right under my apt. It was very comfortable, and they had all of the current mangas. They moved just a couple of months ago to a bigger location :( there is also a comic store in a nearby mall I go to sometimes, but again, public transport (even when it is like 5 stops) and people give me anxiety. I'd suck it up and go if there's a new manga that just came out that I want, but havn't made the trip in a while.
Amazon has everything and it arrives to my door so it's an easy pick; the only downside is shipping fees that sometimes are higher then the price of the books themselves.

>>82225123 (OP)
>how are you anon?
I should've killed myself a week ago but pussied out. I still have the gas and exit bag and can do it anytime but keep finding excuses. It's constant stress that is entirely self imposed
>have you played anything cool recently?
I'm trying to get Nier Replicant (remake) to run on my piece of shit laptop (intel i7 + Nvidia GeForce 940mx) but it keeps crashing after the intro. Apparently it's an old file format used to draw from pre rendered cutscenes from the /movies folder and something is stopping it. Maybe because I'm on Linux. Whatever fuck it I'll get the PS3 version

>>82229556
>live from moment to moment without trying
i wish i knew how to do that.
>at least that's what I experienced
did you like the game though? i feel like he does always make them seem more fun because of all the questionable things he does.
>Any games that stood out to you?
from the ones he covered, i think pharaoh seems like something i'd play and get hyperfixated on. i dont think i'll actually ever try it though because getting old games to work properly on modern hardware is so annoying.
>>82229782
>potatos on the pizza?
yeah! you dice them like you'd do it when you make roasted potatoes, and then you just slap em on the pizza after you've cooked them. it's really good! kinda crazy how nobody outside of italy has thought of this before.
>It's like having a fresh page always
i see what you mean. personally i'd like to be greeted by people if i go outside and such... it would make me feel more like i matter and im not just some worthless cog in the machine.
>Had a taste of that in the military
i do remember, i guess it makes sense. maybe i'd think it like you too if i had experienced something like it previously. i dunno, i just dont really like how everyone seems so estranged and isolated nowdays.
>I NEED noise
is it to keep your mind busy so you dont think bad things? also, there's always ambience videos on youtube n such that can help you with that.
>Do you live in the country?
i live in a city (but it's really not densely populated) with around 60k people so it's not really that big. i've only ever been to a huge city a few times in my life, and no, i cannot navigate them easily. they fill me with anxiety. too many people, too many roads, too many things. still, if i had the chance to live in a big city for a while i'd still take it. i want to experience as many things as i can.
>I like plipping pages and the smell of ink
fair enough

cont.

>>82230013
cont.
>>82229782
>They moved just a couple of months ago
aw that sucks. closest manga shops to my place is a 30 minutes walk. i used to go there very often last summer, hoping i'd meet some new people but it never really worked out. now im a bit disheartened and i dont really go anymore.
>the only downside is shipping fees
and, that you're giving money to an evil corporation, plus another good reason to go to your local manga shops is to support the small businesses so that monopoly doesn't occur! and also the possibility of meeting people though i guess you don't really care about that.
>>82229885
i hope things will get better anon. did something happened that made you decide to do it? also, dont do anything on impulse and really think about it.
>but keep finding excuses
they're not excuses, it's your own body telling you that it can still try some more!
>I'm trying to get Nier Replicant
ohh i love nier games. hope you can manage to make it work anon. have you played nier automata?

i think i'll go to sleep now before i end up spiraling again, thanks for talking with me anons. i'll read your answers tomorrow!

>>82230013
>i wish i knew how to do that.
Understanding is one thing, but being able to do it is another. I've heard there are some tips to people on therapy like try something you fear every day. Some might get addicted to the euphoria, some might get tired.

>did you like the game though?
path of achra was kinda nice for a while that is.
I didn't like conquest for elysium 5 that much. Fog of war in a gigantic map, where you almost won and need to kill the last unit is a chore and the sacrifices were gotten from villages, not from priest summons.
Space organ simulator got boring after the stock market got more return than individual organ trade.

>pharaoh
Haven't played it yet, but I did play some colony sims
>getting old games to work properly on modern hardware is so annoying.
If there aren't patches maybe try OS emulation unless you really mean hardware.

>>82230013
>kinda crazy how nobody outside of italy has thought of this before
Feels like it would be a conflict in taste. Maybe I'll try it someday.
>personally i'd like to be greeted by people if i go outside and such
There are baristas and store clerks and pharmacists that know me and greet me. But I wouldn't like it to happen all day from everyone.
>not just some worthless cog in the machine
I like being a cog. Cog is good. I like having a small piece of heaven in the chaos. Being a cog gives you more control over your situation and world imo.
>maybe i'd think it like you too if i had experienced something like it previously
Try living in a village or commune for a while and you'll get the gist. And not to mention all of the gossip...
>i just dont really like how everyone seems so estranged and isolated nowdays
It makes intimacy and familiarity have more value insted of people spilling into your life like bleeding paint on a canvas.
>is it to keep your mind busy so you dont think bad things?
No, it's just how the world is supposed to be for me. And I usually don't think bad things, I learned how to navigate thought patternes and self-soothe; which is invaluable when having schizo and intrusive thoughts.
>there's always ambience videos on youtube
I go to sleep with music to keep my mind from wandering at night and sleep faster.
>i live in a city with around 60k people so it's not really that big
My city has around half a million people so much bigger hehe.
>they fill me with anxiety. too many people, too many roads, too many things
Living like that is like writing a piece of code in a bigger software; you focus on the smaller area and it's logic in relation to the bigger picture. And for me it feels more intuative. I heard communes send their kids on "city navigation training days"; they drop them off in the middle of the city and give them objectives to navigate to.
>i want to experience as many things as i can
That's a nice notion. My too, I guess.

>>82230071
>hoping i'd meet some new people but it never really worked out. now im a bit disheartened and i dont really go anymore
That's too bad. Try going to conventions for meeting people. Or book clubs in comic shops. Just stumbling upon people without having the structure of an activity requiers a certain kind of charismatic personality; being casual and non-threatening and interesting and inviting. It's like a game.
>you're giving money to an evil corporation
Meh, all corps are evil to a degree. I still have a phone and wear clothes that were made in cruel conditions. You learn to accept that in todays world, I suppose.
>support the small businesses
I agree that is important and try to do that as much as possible. A lot of refugees opened convenieance stores in my old hood and I tried to buy from them when possible insted of the big networks.
>the possibility of meeting people though i guess you don't really care about that
I could make friends and meet people if I want in all kinds of ways (like having convos in 4chan hehe). As I said, stumbling upon people takes effort (I believe I can do that if I really wanted to, from experience). And yeah, I have a good number of people in my real life already.