Thread 82407522

hello anone, how are you feeling today? do you wanna talk about it? good work getting through another week! what are you doing in the weekend?

>>82407522 (OP)
i'm okay i had a wet dream today, and it felt like I actually got some. Which is great! I feel renewed even during the end of times.

>>82407522 (OP)
i learned someone that stopped talking to me didnt die but just ghosted me, so things could be worse. im glad hes still alive and fine even if im bummed i wont have that friend anymore.
i have no plans this weekend, i never do tho.

>>82407525
oh uhm, good for you then anon. i never got those, thankfully.
>>82407549
that's messed up. did they fake their death or something? i hope you can find someone better anon. i cant stand people that ghost others for no good reason.
>i have no plans this weekend
even just resting or playing vidya/doing stuff in your room counts yknow!

>>82407668
Do you have a low sex drive, or do you just jork it often?

>>82407522 (OP)
Good day my liege i shall hope your weekend shall be good. I will most likely do nothing for the weekend but oh well. i was tempted to pirate that new silksong game but i struggle to actually play vidya these days weirdly. nothing else to do unfortunately. Waiting for the clock to turn day after day. oh well.

>>82407716
i guess the first one, considering i don't zerk off at all. and you shouldn't either, corn is really bad for your brain anon
>>82407862
hi anon, i hope your weekend goes well too, despite the lack of things to do.
>silksong
i've heard about that too, and apparently everyone is hyped about it. perhaps i will look into it aswell in the future.
>i struggle to actually play vidya these days weirdly
do you not feel any motivation to do that at all?

My life is pretty fucked up, over 30 with a real shit job. I am not really depressed about it I just need to do something about it but limited opportunity. I really do want to work here another day, I feel like I am the only one is such a situation as most people figure out how to spend the majority of their waking hours doing something they like

>>82407908
>i don't zerk off at all
Huh, don't you get boners all the time then?

>corn
You can jork it without needing to look at corn, ya know but I usually do, imma bad boy like that

>>82407908
>do you not feel any motivation to do that at all?
not particularly. i can do some dailies and stuff like that, but when it comes to games i just cant get hooked into them anymore sadly. it really made me realise how hollow my life is without any distractions. still might try and fix it, will be a lot happier if i can do so.

>>82407952
>I feel like I am the only one is such a situation
you're really not anon, there's loads of people that struggle with getting decent jobs nowdays, and at any age. even if they get good paying jobs it might not even be what they wanted to do in the first place. if it seems like everyone else is doing fine is because they're doing a good job at masking everything that is going wrong. what kind of job would you like to get?
>>82408049
>Huh, don't you get boners all the time then?
no, why would I? watching corn is what makes coomers always horny, not watching it does the opposite. ever fed, never satisfied, never fed, ever satisfied.
>it without
i mean i really don't see the point of doing it in the first place, it's just a waste of time
>>82408056
>i just cant get hooked into them anymore sadly
ah, just like me then. i just play the same old games. it's really hard for me to get hooked on anything, honestly.
>it really made me realise how hollow my life is without any distractions
yeah, same. that might also be a cause why i can't enjoy games or distractions anymore, because everytime i try to i just remind myself of the pointlessness of it all, and that i could be doing something better

>>82407522 (OP)
>hello anone, how are you feeling today?
still confused. The whole bike assistant thing needs a little more thought but at least they are recognizing that im at least trying a little so the pressure is less.
> what are you doing in the weekend?
Trying to finish migrating my little project to a new base and rewriting/expanding my utilities in a proper programming language.

>>82408127
>ever fed, never satisfied, never fed, ever satisfied.
That does sound pretty true, at least with food it's exactly like this for me. I still get boners and horny thoughts even without corn, though

>it's just a waste of time
It's one of the few things in life that makes me feel good, even if for just a moment

>>82408172
>but at least they are recognizing that im at least trying
that's good honestly, i hope everything works out with the bike job! despite me trying really, reallyhard to get a job during this summer my mom still thinks im "just being lazy and thats why you can't find a job" and it annoys me greatly. but i've learned to ignore 90% of the thing she says so it's whatever
>and rewriting/expanding my utilities in a proper programming language
uhm, are those really hard to do? they definitely sound hard to do.
also, what's your picrel about?
>>82408184
>That does sound pretty true
it's the base of a lot of addictions. you think feeding it is what stops the stress and makes you feel good, but in reality, it's feeding it that creates stress in the first place. if you keep feeding it you're going to keep being stressed until you feed it again, but if you never feed it... then you're never going to look forward for the next release and so with time your body will stop craving for it.
>I still get boners and horny thoughts
i mean duh, we're still humans after all. it's normal to get them sometimes. it's abnormal to get the ALL the time.
>It's one of the few things
you really oughta find something else then anon. and keep in mind, if you didn't do it in the first place, you wouldnt have the need to appease the craves in the first place. therefore less stress in general! besides, the transient rewards it gives are not worth frying your dopamine receptors over.

>>82408301
>that's good honestly
To be honest, if they really did understand this situation wouldn't even be. Its always this pushing until everything almost breaks and then its always this "why grug sad? me sad when grug sad. I smile why don't grug just do dis?" only for things to be repeated a little while later.
> i hope everything works out with the bike job!
thanks. I think its one of the better options i see right now so I'll try to get a decent one as soon as energy permits.
>"just being lazy and thats why you can't find a job" and it annoys me greatly
For fucks sake i hate this so much. Imagine doing everything you can and being called lazy.
Completely ignoring these complaints is not appropriate but damn its hard to take anyone serious.
>uhm, are those really hard to do?
Not really if you can find good documentation. It depends on what you are doing obviously but the stereotype of needing some PHD in math or something in that direction is just not true anymore.most of the times
You can start doing pretty nice stuff after only a weekend of learing Lua or Python. Look at some guides and you will notice how "english" the code is. You can even almost read it out as such even.
>also, what's your picrel about?
Some slides of a conference that the creator of the language i use made. He's explaining how he is making its garbage collector better. Even if you are a user of it you don't need a thing about this. I just think that out of context some of these slides sound funny.

>>82407522 (OP)
>hello anone, how are you feeling today?
empty as always
>do you wanna talk about it?
not much else to say besides >mfw no gf
>good work getting through another week!
thanks, congrats on u making it too tho doesnt look like a struggle for you like it is for me
>what are you doing in the weekend?
post more ads to try and find a gf, vidya games, youtube, anime, the stuff i always do, might try and go biking again since my legs dont hurt anymore again

Contemplating dropping out of masters now that I have a good enough job. That would make the weeks a lot easier to get through. This weekend i'm not doing much. Gonna see some buds in 2 weeks and hang out all weekend. Probably just gonna play vidya and watch anime. New Hotshots golf is out :)

>>82407522 (OP)
feeling pretty ok, work week finished. tomorrow going to my local parkrun in the morning then getting a new car and visiting my mum. on sunday will slob inside doing nothing probably

>>82408468
>if they really did understand this situation wouldn't even be
yeah that's true. it is what it is i guess. i just don't even consider anyone capable of understanding so that it hurts less when they inevitably hurt me again.
>Completely ignoring these complaints is not appropriate
what else can i do anon? you already know that explaining doesn't work. arguing is pointless, talking only ends up in arguing, so the only thing i can do is turn the other cheek.
>only a weekend of learing Lua or Python.
i actually knew how to code a few things in Python! i made a discord bot once. that was years ago though, and ii've forgotten everything by now. i actually wanted to learn how to code when i was a teen, but my mom scared me out of it by saying that there's too much math (and i despise math to this day).
>out of context some of these slides sound funny
that is true lole. i thought the first was something out of an economics book or something of that extent
>>82408489
>empty as always
better than filled with bad feelings i guess!
>mfw no gf
same.
>tho doesnt look like a struggle for you like it is for me
yeah that's true. though it will change once i start school again in a week... was this week really hard for you anon?
>post more ads
has that ever worked? also biking is pretty fun! used to go biking quite often last year. do you have any cool places to go to with your bike?
>>82408527
>Contemplating dropping out of masters now
uhmmm i don't know if that's such a good idea... cmon anon, you can do it! and i hope you have fun with your friends!
>New Hotshots golf
are you a fan of golf? i only played wii sports golf.
>>82408558
which car are you getting?
>will slob inside doing nothing probably
eh that's okay. we all need to slob sometimes.

>>82407522 (OP)
Didn't slept for shit last night but that's how it is, even tried to induce sleep via narcotics but ultimately It didn't quite worked out as expected, was a chill night atleast but the problem is that I have important shit to do today and later, so i'll be there tired as shit which will be a miserable experience but that's what I get I guess

I'll spend the weekend giving importance to such chill nights once again, so it would be more interesting to know what you will plan to do this weekend, going make more of these threads? going to some place fun?

>>82408644
> i don't know if that's such a good idea
Maybe. Maybe not. I'm just too stressed and overworked at the moment. And it seems experience and knowing people go further than having a degree. Plus, I can always go back if I want I suppose.
>i only played wii sports golf
Same goofy logic, but with anime girls. Unrelated, but this thread reminds me of b4 r9k was entirely tranny porn and fembots. Plz do this again

>>82408644
>what else can i do anon?
I sorta meant myself but i guess it applies a little to you to. But as you said you are only ignoring 80%. Not too much different from my situation but i just wanted to say how hard is not to get that number to 100%.
>but my mom scared me out of it
considering the current IT job market that was probably for the better. There is nothing against doing it as a hobby tho. I never really got the math thing. Maybe if you are doing some game dev then you need a little of 7 grade trigonometry or of you are doing fancy data sorting but its not very math heavy imo. Its more about logic and representing the solution you came up with with the keywords of the language.
>i thought the first was something out of an economics book
Its sorta fitting actually. The main drive behind this language was because was to avoid sanctions very little people know about lol.

>>82408644
>what else can i do anon?
I sorta meant myself but i guess it applies a little to you to. But as you said you are only ignoring 80%. Not too much different from my situation but i just wanted to say how hard is not to get that number to 100%.
>but my mom scared me out of it
considering the current IT job market that was probably for the better. There is nothing against doing it as a hobby tho. I never really got the math thing. Maybe if you are doing some game dev then you need a little of 7 grade trigonometry or of you are doing fancy data sorting but its not very math heavy imo. Its more about logic and representing the solution you came up with with the keywords of the language.
>i thought the first was something out of an economics book
Its sorta fitting actually. The main drive behind this languages creation were sanctions. But its sorta neat so its still used to this day.

>>82408685
>Didn't slept
that sucks. im not unfamiliar with sleepless nights either. what kept you up?
>i'll be there tired
the indomitable human spirit will keep you up anon
>going make more of these threads?
yeah, probably, consider this might just be the last week where im able to make them.
>going to some place fun?
i wish. there's not many fun places here, and i don't want to go somewhere with other people alone. i dont really wanna do anything alone honestly. im just tired of it. god i hate weekends.
>>82408725
>I'm just too stressed and overworked
that's fine, this bad period will pass! you just gotta power through it. and you can!
>experience and knowing people go further than having a degree
honestly i can't really argue with that, i also think it's true. i dont know though, if you've invested a lot into getting your masters i really dont think you should just give it up. you might regret it forever you know? you got all the time in the world to work anyways. sadly, too.
>can always go back
oh, well im not too sure on how those things work. in this case perhaps you could consider it, just be sure to think carefully about what could happen etc. if you do
>>82408761
>how hard is not to get that number to 100%.
hm, i guess so. i always assume when people give me advice, matter how shit it is, they're just trying to help. so i can't really be mad at them, i can only try and dismiss what they said nicely. kinda like, how you would scold a pet for doing something they shouldn't have. they don't know better, so there's no reason in getting angry.
>was probably for the better
yeah lol, im not too mad about it. though sometimes i wonder if getting a comfy office job would've been better for someone like me.
>the math thing
when old people see computers they tend to think about numbers so i guess that's the connection... who knows.
>sanctions
huh, thats curious. what language is it?
>picrel
i will happily overdose by ingesting all those weird pills thank you!

>>82407522 (OP)
i keep getting harassed and called by my obsessive ex. i know the police wont take me seriously so i just have to deal with it.

>>82408301
>it's the base of a lot of addictions.
That's possibly the best explanation of addictions I've heard! You seem to know a lot about them... have you had an addiction of some sort yourself, Anon?

>it's abnormal to get the ALL the time.
I guess I am abnormal then heh. I do probably have some sort of hormonal imbalance...

>find
It's not really about finding, there's plenty of things I'd like to do or try out. Just not able to actually do much of anything for some reason...

>need to appease the craves
Maybe this is my addiction speaking, but I don't think I mind the cravings... it's pleasant to experience them, if anything.

>>82408644
>was this week really hard for you anon?
not really just depression and loneliness and one of my best friends betraying my trust prob just making me feel extra dead inside then normal
>has ads ever work?
yes and no, fully they have never worked as im still looking but i did get some temporary egfs who pretended to care for a bit
>do you have any cool places to go to with your bike?
no i ill just bike around time if my dad drives me into it and drops me off, do you still bike?

>>82408825
>what kept you up?
Apparently I wasn't tired enough, felt really tired still but as it seems not enough to actually fall asleep
>this might just be the last week where im able to make them.
and why is that?

>>82408127
>i could be doing something better
i feel this too a lot and it is really hard to argue against my own mind when i do nothing but want to do something or do something and want to do nothing at the same times. sometimes i just want to collapse into dark matter and die from my non existence just not like anyone would notice. sorry thats rather edgy teen of me but i suppose its true really. Hope you have a good day huanon.

>>82408825
>kinda like, how you would scold a pet for doing something they shouldn't have
that's one way you see people as less haha
>though sometimes i wonder if getting a comfy office job
Not programming anon. Actually being a code monkey is torture for most.
>when old people see computers
Well the computers in their times did sometimes actually need a PHD to operate and were expensive enough for you to only see them at a university or at the job.
>huh, thats curious. what language is it?
Its Lua. Brazil had self imposed trade restrictions on tech which were lifted a little over 30 years ago. In that time they reinvented the wheel and apparently did so well that theirs spread across the globe and is still in use. Its similar to python but i like it more. Maybe we would see more innovation with less globalization?

>pills
they are all placebo

>>82408962
>In that time
*before that point in time

forgot to answer this before
>>82408725
>but with anime girls
huh, now they make golf with anime girls too? they're putting them everywhere... eh i'm not complaining though.
>reminds me of b4 r9k was entirely tranny porn and fembots
kinda wish i was there before it turned into the cesspool it is now, but all i can do is my part in making the board slightly better. don't worry, i'll keep making these threads as long as i can!
>>82408843
does blocking her number not do anything? why do you think the police isn't gonna take you seriously? stalking has become a pretty important crime, so it's not 100% sure they'll just tell you off.
>>82408856
>have you had an addiction
thankfully not, but i've been around many addicts in my life which piqued my curiosity about the affliction. so i read some books about addictions. im also just a bit curious about it myself, the idea that we're smart enough to know that consuming something will kill us, but we do it anyway, is rather fascinating in a morbid way. our brains are so interesting! and stupid!
>I do probably have some sort of hormonal imbalance
yknow, you might also just be addicted to the hub. it's not something to be ashamed of, its actually incredibly common nowdays due to how easy it is to access, and how uninformed everyone is about the dangers of corn. a lot of people go their entire lives without even knowing they're addicted.
>some reason
there's always a reason anon, is it a lack of motivation?
>it's pleasant to experience them
only because you know you have access to the material you need to appease them whenever you want. if you didn't, they'd be reaallly stressful.
>>82408891
>betraying my trust
oh damn, im sorry that happened. do you want to talk about it?
>who pretended to care for a bit
i think it's actually just better to stay alone rather than getting with someone like that
>do you still bike?
sometimes, yes. rarely though, i've kinda lost the motivation to do anything these days. i like biking in nature tho.

>>82408945
>felt really tired still but as it seems not enough
hmm, do you ever feel like you're so tired that you can't even sleep? like. you're too tired to even bother sleeping or something. that happens to me sometimes.
>and why is that?
school's starting and i'm gonna be busy in the hours when i usually make these threads in. so im either gonna make them a lot later, or only on weekends.
>>82408958
>is really hard to argue against my own mind
yeah it really is. i usually just get stuck doing nothing in the end
>sometimes i just want to collapse into dark matter and die
me too anon, it's okay. we call get these call of the void sometimes. sometimes simply existing seems too much of a hassle... you have a good day too, okay?
>>82408962
>that's one way you see people as less haha
i think what misaki said about seeing everyone as inferior to not feel bad has some truth to it... though i only do that with turbonormies.
>Actually being a code monkey is torture for most
oh i know, it's just that the grass always seems greener you know? i'm uh, kind of fragile and the work im studying for doesn't really allow you to be that way. so im scared i won't be enough to do it properly, and that maybe i was just destined to sit on a chair for all my life. as sad as that is.
>Well the computers in their times did
yeah, and that's why they think it's still this way. because old people are allergic to getting on with the times.
>Maybe we would see more innovation with less globalization?
i think so, if you think about it... if there's a problem, nowdays it's just faster to hire someone else to fix it to you. but if you didn't have that option, you'd need to come up with a solution yourself. now if everyone was forced to come up with a solution, just imagine how many different ways to fix that problem we could have!
>spoiler
awwww... oh well. maybe ill choke on them or something!

>>82409105
>do you want to talk about it?
not really no, its already done and over with, ranting or crying wont help
>i think it's actually just better to stay alone rather than getting with someone like that
well the idea is finding someone who genuinely does care, tho its hard these days
>kinda lost the motivation to do anything these days
same same, motivation to do anything anymore is always a struggle

>>82409105
>thankfully not, but i've been around many addicts in my life which piqued my curiosity about the affliction.
I see, that makes sense. But you went pretty far to actually read several books about it...

>is rather fascinating in a morbid way
Yeah, it is! It's like we have several stages of brain evolution in our head all at once and sometimes the smarter ones can't overcome the more primitive ones. Frustrating when that happens...

>yknow, you might also just be addicted to the hub.
Maybe? I've been looking at it for most of my life, so I guess the addiction wouldn't just disappear in a few months of not looking at it. Honestly though, I don't believe it's that harmful, at least, it's not like drugs or alcohol. As far as addictions go, it's pretty harmless.

>there's always a reason anon, is it a lack of motivation?
Indeed, but I don't really know what the reason is. I think it's something along the lines of not feeling like I deserve to do something fun, but I can't really get more clarity on it than that.

>if you didn't, they'd be reaallly stressful.
Well, it's good that unless they invent brain rewriting machines, I'll always have access to material! It might be canned corn and not fresh corn on the cob, but it still tastes pretty good.

>>82409110
>turbonormies
Is that even up for debate with them at this point?
>and that maybe i was just destined to sit on a chair for all my life
There are many things to do while sitting on a chair. Coding is not one of them. And don't feel like you are 'fragile' or whatever. We are living through an abrasiveness-inflation. Too many people are just ruthless for no reason now.
>maybe ill choke on them or something!
I suggest you do more productive things with your life and that sort of willpower.
I don't even know how somebody could choke on purpose fr.

>>82409110
>do you ever feel like you're so tired that you can't even sleep?
Yeah it's a weird kind of restlessness, feels like your body's worn out but your mind is just slightly bothered, kinda sucks

I am LARPing as the soviets in EU4!

>>82409105
>does blocking her number not do anything? why do you think the police isn't gonna take you seriously? stalking has become a pretty important crime, so it's not 100% sure they'll just tell you off.
he just calls with another number or on no caller id. where i live anything online isn't taken seriously, only if i'd see him following me irl i could actually report him.

helloooo test test why is this website so fucking gay??

I feel okay. WFM so im wasting a lot of time and not doing much, but ive been able to get some good rest and not die of sleep deprevation in office.
Also, my crush responded to me after a week :) I've already asked her out twice now, so ill see if we can have some decent text exchange before i try again, not stopping until im blocked

why is 4chan not letting me post in my own thread but lets me in others...? im so confused.

>>82409161
>not really
alrighty, i understand
>someone who genuinely does care
yeah, that's near impossible nowdays. but on the internet, your odds are even lower.
>is always a struggle
what do you do when you need to do something but can't find the will to do it?
>>82409253
>actually read several books
i had my own interest too, and not every book i've read was specifically only about addictions, some were about the brain and mental illnesses in general, and others were philosophy but mentioned addictions too
>overcome the more primitive ones
i think if we manage to do that we might just be able to build an utopia
>it's pretty harmless
I could go on a rant on why it is harmful, (and i did, but then i pressed esc and my reply got deleted kill me) so im just gonna say this: it's worse than what you think. just because it doesnt have physical repercussions, it doesnt mean its harmless. it quite literally rewires your brain to prefer short term satisfaction over long term, therefore making you prone to avoid any kind of activity that requires commitment, and makes less motivated to do anything. i highly suggest you look up the ezpz method(and read the book in it) it explains just how bad corn, and other addictions, are for you wonderfully in a very concise way.
>I don't really know what the reason is
well, if you've read what i wrote above you might have an idea now...
>brain rewriting machines
they exist already, and it's your own willpower!
>>82409329
>for debate
i don't like the idea of seeing others as inferior so i try not to most of the time.
>many things to do
i don't really wanna do any of them. ive sat on chairs for enough time already. i want to do something else
>just ruthless for no reason now
i know, but i still have to deal with them and my work. i don't know if i'll be able to.
>choke on purpose
you just need to breathe and swallow water at the same time!

>>82407522 (OP)
>how are you feeling today?
Feeling neutral.
>what are you doing in the weekend?
Working on software, drafting up ideas.

and now it's letting me post again, i really don't understand this website...

>>82409421
i wish i had a way to snap out of it but i haven't found any yet other than praying to fall asleep eventually.
>>82409856
is it any fun?
>>82409881
>he just calls with another number or on no caller id
i see, that's annoying. still, even if you think it's not going to change anything, you should try telling the police anyways. at best they do something and at worse nothing happens but you tried. you could also try to buy a new phone, though i get that might be a bit unpractical
>>82409990
>get some good rest and not die of sleep deprevation
that is surprisingly hard to do nowdays! so good job anon. and good luck with your crush, hopefully everything goes smoothly!
>>82410027
neutral is better than bad! what kind of software are you working on?

>>82410014
>so i try not to most of the time.
yet you said you do it with turbonormies, which are a major part of the population. What do you mean now? Do you assume people to be good or to be less than you (like misaki)? Doesn't really matter desu, i think i get what you mean but im too autistic to get it immediately.
>ive sat on chairs for enough time already. i want to do something else
Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, walz in a reputable business, and give the manager a firm handshake!
You will get your preferred job on the spot!
>you just need to breathe and swallow water at the same time!
This sounds like a boomer giving advice to young people.

>why is 4chan not letting me post in my own thread but lets me in others...?
Too many quotes in the same post maybe?

>>82410046
>neutral is better than bad! what kind of software are you working on?
An emulator for a "modern" game console, and ideas for an OS.

>>82407522 (OP)
awful, I fucked up pretty badly at college and when I came home I wanted to cry but couldn't so I tried cutting myself but I'm too much of a weak loser failure to do it properly so I just took a baseball bat to a mirror and my fan and I don't feel any better.

>>82410094
>turbonormies, which are a major part of the population
turbonormies are not the majority of the population, anon. they're different from normal normies. turbonormies are like, those people that are oblivious to literally anything bad and that isn't in their lives, or in the general public. im talking about old people, chads, people that have never had to struggle once in their lives, rich dudes and such. they're like, the worst type of normie i guess you could say.
>you assume people to be good or to be less than you
whenever i talk with anyone irl i tend to assume they're not like me, but it doesn't mean they're better or worse.
>You will get your preferred job on the spot!
whoever says that unironically is exactly the type of person i define as turbonormie lole.
>This sounds like a boomer giving advice to young people
what, telling them to kill themselves? they might aswell just start doing that instead of giving out awful advice.
>Too many quotes
no it can't be that, considering the post i made right after had more quotes, and usually you get an error message. i honestly have no clue, whenever i clicked submit the "post successful" banner would appear but not the post i made... and this only happened when i tried to post in my thread. are the jannies trying to kill me?
>>82410098
oh nice emulators are a godsend. or an anonsend in this case! which console is it?
>OS
how hard would you say it is to make a OS?
>>82410148
what happened at college anon? perhaps talking about it might help. better than obliterating your mirror. i hope you didnt hurt yourself too much, please be careful!

>>82410351
took a picture of my teacher to show my online "friends" what she looked like and she threatened to fail my class if I ever pull my phone out again and she could probably see how misanthropic and fucked I am. I also told her I thought she was pretty which made it worse I think

>>82410351
>turbonormies
I guess experiences can differ..
My country is sadly known as one of the most mind-broken ones so comparisons to others are weird sometimes. The average person here lives with such a cognitive dissonance i can't even.
>but it doesn't mean they're better or worse.
Yeah. Its hard to believe that some people are intrinsically evil or bad. We're all victims of circumstance with some lashing out at others.
>what, telling them to kill themselves?
More the way you said it. "Just do x and y (which exclude each erother most of the time) and you will achieve z!" You know. The 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' type of thing.

>>82410445
also forgot
>they might aswell just start doing that instead of giving out awful advice.
No need. They already made this world so many want to escape. They are 10 steps ahead in this case.

>>82410394
anon... sigh. did your "friends" coerce into doing that? well at least she gave you a second opportunity. just, try to be good from now on okay? and definitely don't take pictures of anything in college anymore.
>>82410445
>The average person here lives with such a cognitive dissonance i can't even
it might just be that everyone's is actually just dissociating from the horrors being alive brings. thoughever this might just be really wishful thinking from my end. here it kinda feels like people now that things suck, yet are either too stupid to care, or too stupid to understand it.
>We're all victims of circumstance
indeed, im a strong believe in the "in good there's evil and in evil there's good" saying. no one is simply one or the other, and most of the time if i get hurt by someone, i try to put myself in their shoes, and think why they would do that to me. maybe it's because of how they were raised, maybe they have a mental issue, maybe they didn't want to but were forced by something to do that. it helps with like, being more accepting of everything i guess
>You know
ah yeah, i get it now. just yesterday my grandpa said something like that, though it was a bit more wholesome. it was like "just always be kind and don't do anything bad, and good things will happen to you!" sigh. i really wish he was right.
>They are 10 steps ahead in this case
well but im gonna be 10 steps ahead whenever i pass an old person on the sidewalk!

>>82410586
yeah they wanted to see her because I said I thought she was cute

>>82410351
>how hard would you say it is to make a OS?
Depends a lot on what hardware you want it to work on, but OS development is always more about time than difficulty.

>>82410586
>it might just be that everyone's is actually just dissociating from the horrors being alive brings
some yes, but a lot recognize that things are bad but act entirely against their own interests which only makes things worse for everybody in the end. I mean immigrants voting for the very party that will rick them out and environmentalists powering up coal plants. These two things are just politics but you see it in lower level things too. Its so tiring. Like, how do you do anything in this country? People know things are fucked but make make the conscious decision to make it even worse?
>it helps with like, being more accepting of everything i guess
This line of thinking is good but don't go too far. Being too soft and not calling shit out sometimes doesn't help fixing things.
Otherwise you have something like brits allowing rape gangs terrorize their county.
>well but im gonna be 10 steps ahead whenever i pass an old person on the sidewalk!
Shit, that's a good point. Some have mobility scooters tho. What's your plan against those?

Hi, hu tao!

>how are you feeling today?
I'm quite neutral today, but your thread brightened my mood a little bit. I've also just returned home after a therapy session, so this may have helped

>good work getting through another week!
Heh, actually it wasn't that difficult since the entire week was holiday in my university. I was just grinding in a game, zero efforts.

>what are you doing in the weekend?
Continue playing the game and start reading a Cicero's discourse. Heck, it's 70 pages long and I should have read a bit of it while in those 5 free days.

>>82407522 (OP)
Been going through some shit and when it finally hit me, as in my brain finally started processing it, I just... left
Depersonalization basically
The body is there but the mind wanders elsewhere, but in that moment I was the stone, I was the shield, I could take on any and all the challenges put forth

I drove 8-hours straight out-of-state, I negotiated a rental, I comforted my family, my siblings, and the thing is I don't remember doing any of it nor do I remember what I said, but it worked(?) because they saw me as being competent
I function best when I'm not me

I don't know what to make of it, Hu Tao-non

>>82410642
well, what did they say?
>>82410719
>more about time
cause there's a lot of stuff to make i assume? how does one even make an OS from scratch is kind of outside of my understanding honestly.
>>82410765
>but act entirely against their own interests
eh, i blame misinformation. perhaps someone told them something different or they don't know as much as you do. though the possibility that the majority of people are stupid is not something to overlook!
>make the conscious decision to make it even worse
i think you just need to have a look at the us to find out why they do, and it's just that incessant propaganda works wonders on really dumb people.
>don't go too far
oh i know anon, i can stand my ground if i think i need, and it's worth to do so. it's just that most of the time it's not worth the effort because things are just so trivial and unimportant.
>What's your plan against those?
pop their tires. but it's not like those are really fast anyway right?
>>82410797
>Hi, hu tao!
hello!""!11"!
>but your thread brightened my mood a little bit
hehe im glad! therapy definitely helped too though. hope the rest of your day goes well!
>was holiday
oh that's nice! what game have you been playing?
>Cicero's discourse
oh that seems interesting. do you have to do that for uni or are you interested in philosophy and such?
>>82410832
>I don't know what to make of it
hm, it could be that whatever you've been going through triggered your fight-or flight mechanism, and perhaps made you hyperfocus on the task at hand that you basically forgot about literally everything else around you. it's actually not uncommon for something like that to happen in high stress situations, your brain basically cancels everything that isn't needed in the immediate, and so you don't remember what happened. kinda like when you have a bad panic attack but way longer, i think. i know others that have been through it too, usually happens when you or a closed one gets really hurt and you kinda panic.

>>82407522 (OP)
I flew off my goddamn bike two days ago, my left side hurts when i breathe too much. Got some tramal for the pain, i know i'm supposed to take one, but the entire pack looks mighty fine.

>>82411078
>usually happens when you or a closed one gets really hurt and you kinda panic.
It's a younger brother of mine and he did this shit to himself
Instead of fixing it himself, he came crawling back home to mommy and my mom being the dumb fuck she is asks me to help him

Fuck man, I dissociated for like a week
It's all hitting me like a ton of bricks right now, I'm just mad I let it happen
Now I'm fucking stuck

>>82411078
>and it's just that incessant propaganda works wonders on really dumb people.
No they know. There are enough people countering this flawed thinking. They just choose to not think. I talked to such sabotaging people myself. They just don't think right. Just don't understand.
>it's just that most of the time it's not worth the effort because things are just so trivial and unimportant.
I wish knew how to stop taking the internet serious and getting into internet fights sigh. Must be a amazing feeling.
>but it's not like those are really fast anyway right?
I don't know actually. I don't remember seeing a lot of them which is sorta surprising considering how fat some beer bellies here can get.

Anyways my cat is taking a nap on my mouse now. I think its trying to tell me something.

>>82411173
well that sucks. you sure nothing is broken? also eating more painkiller won't make it kill more pain, it might just kill you instead! perhaps that's what you want. yeah i don't blame you honestly. still don't do that
>>82411214
i see, i don't wanna pry so i'm not gonna ask you what happened unless you want to share it yourself. still, you should be proud of yourself that you managed to all of that despite being very distressed.
>I'm just mad I let it happen
no reason to be angry anon, shit happens and it's fine. just gotta get through it all.
>stuck
do you mean like, physically stuck in the state you drove at or more mentally stuck?
>>82411233
>They just choose to not think
perhaps for them letting things happen is easier than fighting for what they actually want or need
>I wish knew how to stop taking the internet serious
oh it's easy anon, everytime you get angry just think of that image with people holding a glass of wine, caption with "i dont fucking care". it's really that easy. not but really, just keep in mind nothing you say online (and sometimes irl too) matters so there's literally no point in arguing. think of all the things you could be doing instead
>I don't remember seeing a lot of them
me neither desu, they're pretty rare here. i think only americans have so many of those...
>I think its trying to tell me something.
to get off your pc and go to sleep? or maybe that they just find your mouse very comfortable! honestly it's impressive how cats sleep on basically any surface...

>>82411352
I don't think so, got bruises near pelvis and arms but nothing visible on my chest. Anyway i hope you all have a great weekend.

>>82411352
>perhaps for them letting things happen is easier than fighting for what they actually want or need
If that's true then its not a conscious thought for them. They still spend a lof of effort on doing something but you know. I wouldn't be surprised if there were human right activists pushing for conscious and live vivisection as a sort of punishment. Its just so backwards sometimes.
>there's literally no point in arguing
i know but sometimes im just so confused by some shit somebody is blabbering i just have to reply lol.
>to get off your pc and go to sleep?
probably. I mean its on my bed now. And to be honest i have been trying to fix my sleeping schedule for a while now.
>or maybe that they just find your mouse very comfortable
i think it was more about the hand on the mouse actually. The cat is very obsessed with those for some reason.

>>82411403
oh then i guess some rest should be enough to get you back in shape anon. and thanks, i hope you have a nice weekend too! despite the bruises.
>>82411454
>Its just so backwards sometimes.
well people are confusing, and i feel nowdays most don't really have ideals of their own, they cling to others and so always end up being kinda messed up with what they want.
>so confused by some shit somebody is blabbering i just have to reply lol
i mean yeah i guess it can't be helped sometimes. what's the stupidest take you've read on this website?
>i have been trying to fix my sleeping schedule for a while now
good luck... i think i've been trying to fix it for years. i got really close to doing so this summer, but now it's back to being bad. partly cause of these threads too...
>i think it was more about the hand
heheh, my cat is strangely obsessed with sitting on my hand/arm too. no clue why.

i'll go to bed now since i gotta wake up really early tomorrow, thanks for talking with me anons!

>>82410014
>some were about the brain and mental illnesses in general
I see... I guess you were trying to research about your own mental stuff too?

>utopia
True...

>i pressed esc and my reply got deleted kill me
Ouch... really sucks when that happens. This reminded me I need to CTRL-A CTRL-C more often.

>it quite literally rewires your brain to prefer short term satisfaction over long term
Oof, that does sound pretty bad... I think scrolling 4chan does that too, and I've definitely noticed I prefer short term pleasure more and more over the years. I guess I should try quitting, then... but uhh I'll do it another day! I don't feel like it right now. Need something to replace the addictions with first, if nothing else.

>ezpz method
Ah, I remember reading that ages ago because some Anon on here or on /adv/ kept shilling it. I thought it was kind of silly... I really don't think it works when adapted for anything besides cigarette addiction...

>well, if you've read what i wrote above you might have an idea now...
Maybe? But I've been addicted to corn for over a decade and it wasn't like this for most of that time. The not being able to do things started almost overnight after something bad happened, so I don't think it has that much to do with the corn. Though, I imagine it's not exactly helping, either.

>they exist already, and it's your own willpower!
I don't think I can will myself to erase memories... only shift my attention to something else. Maybe that's what you meant.

>>82411352
Stuck as in stuck with him for the next few months
I negotiated the rental but my mom told me to stay with him in case the cops come knocking

Fuck me, I can't believe I let my brain do the thinking for me

>>82411595
>i'll go to bed now since i gotta wake up really early tomorrow
Ah, good night Anon! Thanks for talking with me as well.